/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I've contemplated suicide many times but haven't done it because of two main reasons:

1. As long as I'm alive, there exists the possibility of being happy. I don't have much hope at this point though.

2. Suicide is always an option. I don't have to do it today. I'll always have the possibility of doing it later if life becomes too unbearable.

Other than that, I try to face real life in a stoic way, not caring too much about things, and just indulge in hobbies I enjoy such as cute music, anime, games and learning Japanese. I might try crossdressing (of course, privately in my room) soon too, I think I'll enjoy wearing cute dresses. But overall I'm still not convinced to keep living. There is just way too much psychological suffering compared to good moments, and adult daily life is just hellish.