/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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4. Destitute Chochin-Obake: What else could it have been? Her entire life she's been abused or ignored, now that she's finally reached tsukumogami sapience she's promised herself never to be used by anyone, which is exactly what she plans on now that you finally noticed her. She will destroy any source of light in your house as to make sure that you need her and will prohibit you from using any electric device that gives off light (graphite screen computers are exempted). She actually isn't very jealous at all, but is insanely clingy and will insist on doing everything she can with you. Reassuring her and going to therapy with her will go a long way to improving your relationship, but she'll never quite get over her fear of being thrown away. She enjoys it the most when you ask for her assistance and will become giddy if you use her consistently.

5. Oomukade Hiki: She swears you're the spitting image of her favorite human boy anime protagonist and because of this she can't help but want to be with you despite having not left her house for several years. She is awkward as can be expected and will stutter most of what she says, but is a kind soul that does not expect you to warm up to her immediately. Her ultimate weakness is your spit, and promising some of it to her is enough to get her to budge on just about anything you ask of her. She won't force you to accept her venom, and in fact conceals her stingers so that she doesn't accidentally prick you, but if you ever do accept it she'd probably be the happiest girl alive because of it. Her hiki tendencies are only trumped by her desire to go on dates with you, and she'd also like you to consider the idea of daughterus in the near future.

6. You spot a strand of white hair in the distance.

7. Is this broom yours? Where did this cleaning supply come from?

So you're cleaning your battlestation when you suddenly realize there's a full grown oomukade living underneath your desk. What's more, she stammers that she's been there for nearly a year living off the crumbs that fall around your legs and that she sometimes fantasizes about giving you a surprise blowjob and confessing her love by pricking your legs with her stingers.

What do you do with the house pest?