/jp/ - Otaku Culture

This is as dumb as when Satori-sama explained to me that we aren't a 'Nuclear Family'—despite me being part of our family—because she's not married… What is the connection between being MARRIED and NUCLEAR?! The same goes for 'labor' and 'delivering the baby'; that's just plainly dumb!

… Ugh, I want to bury my head in so much cement; it's unreal.

Yuugi sighs, patting me on the back—ouch, ouch, ouch—as we fly towards the palace; Koutei and Suika staying behind for one obvious reason and the other I've already forgotten during my initial panic. “Don't be so rough with yourself, Utsuho.”

I groan, the eye on my chest staring at me from below. “Koishi-chan is delivering her baby and she's only got Orin to her side… That's, like, bad news, no? Satori-sama told me when her mama had Koishi that her papa almost lost his hand! I don't want Orin to lose her hand; how are we playing kancho then?!” I suppress the overwhelming desire to scream and release the fission building inside, but refrain from doing so. The huge oni flying over to my side laughs heartily and pats my back… It's wonderfully soothing, though the boom burst that's her voice almost makes me wish she'd touch the arm cannon strapped to my lower back and get at least three cancers from high dosage of gamma radiation…

… Nah, that's just the situation speaking. 'Remember not to give others cancer', that's one of Satori-sama's strictest rules.

“That's what you're worried about? Games~?” She flies a bit further ahead, calm despite our predicament. “Orin and Koishi are strong; they can hold by themselves until we get to them—and if I'm not mistaken, Kokoro is still with Koishi, right? So it's likely—”

“—That Okina transferred both to Eientei.” The sudden voice takes our flight to a stop, gazes turning to a frowning Satori, the palace about 300m ahead. “What has happened to Koishi and Rin, Reiuji? Are they al—”

“SATORI-SAMA, KOISHI IS GIVING BIRTH!” I yell, rushing over to Satori-sama and locking her in a tight hug. I know she doesn't like affective shows in front of others, but I'm a nervous wreck right now, so it doesn’t count! “O-Orin told me, but I didn't understand! I thought she'd gotten a job or something! But how'd she get a job while pregnant?! Sorry, Satori-sama!” I cry, my wings fluttering recklessly. Unlike the usual, Satori-sama doesn’t push me away, her eyes widening with the information.

… Softly, she breathes in and then out, one hand rising to pinch the bridge of her nos, the other patting my back—I prefer hers~ “I… see. Sister is having her child…” She let go of the hug, eyes on Koutei in the distance. Her expressions, always on the subtle side, are more prominent than ever up close; she looks agitated, tense and bears a gaze I can easily distinguish, even perceptible through her slightly narrowed third eye…

Satori-sama is afraid.

“Oki—”

“—My, my~isn't that wonderful? A new family member!” I recoiled in surprise at the suddenness; a woman with golden hair abruptly appeared from behind Satori-sama, her elbows resting on top of pink hair and her chin on top of her wrists.

… Satori-sama is afraid of her.

That woman is dangerous.

Oh, I'll need my big iron to deliver proper Armageddon!

Following muscle memory, the arm cannon is swiftly taken out of my back and expertly cocked to my right arm, hatches opening and letting air enter and cool down the hadron engines. Stress gone; all that remains is protectiveness. “Oi, leave her alone, grandma!” I yell, pointing the output exit straight in between those golden eyes.

Satori-sama looks on the brink of a panic attack. “Reiuji, stop!!”

“Grandma…? That's one blow to my pride.” She creepily caresses Satori-sama’s chin. “You think your pet is gonna shoot me, Sato—”

The air above us melts into boiling white vapor as a flash overpowers all other lights and a fission cluster with twice the sun's power whizzes towards the blonde grandma. “I hate creepy ladies! You're the worst!”

—but, before the pest can be vaporized, Yuugi slaps the reaction into nonexistence. W-What?! Why is she— “Heh, Utsuho, you drank a lot, didn't you?” She chuckles and, for no motive, comes onto me and passes an arm around my shoulder, holding me close. Satori-sama has clenched teeth; that old grandma rhythmically beating a finger on top of her head. Her gaze is amused. “Sorry, she said she wasn't allowed to drink because she'd go haywire, but I got her wasted anyway~my bad!”

That's… just a lie! I didn't drink a droplet of alcohol!

Satori-sama speaks before I can explain myself. “Ah, I'll be punishing you accordingly, Reiuji.” Her stare, unlike a moment ago, is calmer. Huh…? “Sorry for the actions of my pet, Okina. It won't happen again.”

“Hm… Okay! Apologies taken! We discuss my reward for not disposing of her where she stands later~” Oh, is this a threat?! Just as I'm about to say some mean words, Yuugi squeezes my shoulder sternly, halting me. GAH—Why?! “Now, let's talk about our problem…”

Her eyes turn to Koutei.

>>42630022
It's not ogre yet!