/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Apologies, >>5059487 was also me.
Somehow I didn't consider my hearing and suicidal thoughts related. It's clear to me now they are.
I've spoken to my doctor, according to him I could qualify for financial aid for disability and receive a monthly stipend. It's not much but I could live on it if I stay with my parents.
My family has been supportive, so much so I really don't know what to do.
Always wanted to go to an art school after quitting my job but the way my hearing is right now I don't think I could study

>>5056473
>>5061607
SNHL (neural), genetic but we don't know if it's a recessive gene or a mutation (my siblings have perfect hearing).
Mine has been degrading since I was 14-16 probably, I'm 23 now.
>>5056502
I won't hold my hopes up, retrocochlear treatment has seen no progress.
>>5059580
Thanks for the detailed response anon.
> trying to measure yourself by other people
Some what related >>5057017 I've known a blind guy and have no idea how he can stand to live, but your point makes sense in that I shouldn't compare
>I'm kinda an introverted... if it will work for you.
I relate to that pretty hard, reflecting I find it hard to open up and trust the way others seem to.
>>5060378
Lost access to my method, so I'll fight it until I'm dead or it kills me.
I'm curious how good (or mediocre) my art will become, so it keeps me going.

I can't remember the last time I finished something
All I draw now are unfinished sketches, I can't finish anything.
I practice until I think "maybe I can do this", I start drawing a character in a specific pose and it all falls apart 10 hours of art later.

I just hate it, I know it's not going to get better if I don't finish it but I just fucking hate it. It eventually reaches a point where I just feel like I'm trying to fix something unfixable, and drop it.

Then I go back to drawing random, purposeless shit