/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

It's almost been 1.5 years since I finished a drawing. I've been drawing practically every day.
I just can't, I see the faults in them too quickly but can't fix them. I feel like I'm wasting my time finishing it instead of studying, then drop it.

Over a fucking year without a single fucking piece I was able to take past thumbnail/sketch.
Fuck
I've been desperately trying to finish fucking anything the past week.

2 bags of charcoal on 2 frying pans. Sleeping pills. 2 weeks from now. It still feels so surreal. art is the only thing keeping me happy. if there is an afterlife, I want it to be in the wired

Currently studying aerospace eng and I'm racking my brain over wether or not I should continue.

There's no design jobs, barely any maintenance jobs, and HR departments only what what they specifically want where I'm from.
There's another degree I've become interested in, "StructuralEng with Architecture", but I'm wondering if I'm just convincing myself I like it like I did before.

I can't trust myself and doubting myself all over. I hate the people I study with to the depth of my being but I don't want it to affect my life-changing decisions.

I get the feeling that taking a course with a stronger emphasis on design, visaul appeal and drawing might make me happier but I'm afraid of making that big jump and falling into the same pit

>tfw too self-conscious to put even my good stuff on dArt
Is there even anything to live for?