/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

Didn't realise there was a vent thread

>bag was stolen
>sketchbook was in there which hurt the most as I had some drawings and paintings in there I really loved

>Studied and painted for years
>all the people around me always say what a good artist I am
>can't get a job, commission or anything more than 50 likes no matter how hard I try I get no reach
>never want to give up but it hurts that it feels like I'm going nowhere

>fell in love with another artist
>she eventually broke down and ended up in a mental institution turns out she has a rare form of schizophrenia and bipolar
>she calls and texts me daily telling me how much she loves me in a delirious state from the mental ward
>too much of a coward to tell her I can't do this anymore because I know she'll do something if I do

>grandma died
>at the funeral after party with all of family
>they all want me to paint her portrait from when she was young
>couldn't say no, feel depressed every time I pick up the paint brush to paint her
>can't even finish it in time for Grandad's birthday

I just feel numb at this point, this month has just broken me.