/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I think i'm done trying to make friends. Been actively trying to engage with people at my college that have similar interest to my own, but everyone always gives me that "weirdo" look like they never actually want to talk to me and are just responding to be nice. I guess it's just a problem with myself that i'm not aware of but no one is telling me.
It's been like this for years so i'm kinda use to it.

No matter how much I try to like my art, I just can't say anything positive about it until it looks like the unrealistic standards i set for myself.
Maybe it's because i'm practically suicidal, and can't love myself. On top of that with each passing day it feels like im forgetting more and more in the 8 months i dedicated to purely drawing off of my savings. If only i wasn't so hard on my art i'd probably be happier.

I think i'm at the point where I don't want to be a professional anymore.
I'm just too boring to do all the shilling and not creative enough to make things on my own without a reference 24/7. I'm 20 now and still don't know what I'm doing with myself. I never had a career goal, and the only reason I'm still messing with art is because it's the only skill people praised me for. For once I want somone to take my hand and guide me through life. Maybe I just need a break.