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/g/ - Technology

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66462304 No.66462304 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe] [rbt]

To all the desktop computer owners out there, that have their computer chained to a desk.

How do you fap? I always laid down and fapped to my laptop, if desperate, to the phone. But the ideal was always the laptop on my chest while I jerk. Now I’m getting a desktop and I’m puzzled how I’m gonna even enjoy any lewd content in it.

I was looking into mounting a monitor above my bed and use a controller that acts as a mouse, but it’s surprising hard to do. You’d think they would have this down by now. So I’m not really sure what to do.

>> No.66462323

>fapping anywhere else but the bathroom
Enjoy your cum smelling things and the mess you have to clean after. Fapping on the toilet with the phone in one hand is the patrician way.

>> No.66462344

>Clean up
This isn’t rocket science. You lay down, lay a paper towel under your dick, and cum into the towel.

There isn’t really any clean up about it. Cumming on a toilet hunched over looking at a tiny screen sounds horrible.

>> No.66462361
File: 34 KB, 700x368, 2016-10-28_12-51-43.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>watch porn on smartphone
>still cum on paper towels or in socks.
Get with the times you 20yo boomers.

>> No.66462380
File: 246 KB, 882x758, 1528870189424.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>cut fags not realizing how fucked up they are

>> No.66462387

I fap sitting down and stand up to cum most of the time
Another reason to have an IPS screen

>> No.66462397

my seat tilts back , and im not having to do a balancing act. Or if im in the bedroom, i just cast porn from my phone to my tv. im not a caveman and have to use a laptop or porn. plus you nut into a tissue, and no mess, not that hard to do

>> No.66462413
File: 19 KB, 500x500, empty-pet-bottle-500x500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Does anyone else recycle? You really should, you know?

>> No.66462428

i dont want the stoners at the depot uncapping my spunk when i bring them by - they require you have the caps removed. i have a firepit, so i burn all my deposit slips for the spank bank there or flush them

>> No.66462433

>cum bottles
>piss bottles
>some retard has probably figured out a way to store his shit in bottles
why do I even browse this disgusting Vietnamese bukkake-scat website

>> No.66462523

I have an oculus rift and a nui plush lovedoll. Download Honeyselect VR with all mods preloaded and fuck literally any girl you want

>> No.66462734

>You lay down

>> No.66462805

There was a image illustrating the correct way to masturbate at your desk but I don't have it any more. Basically you recline in your chair.

>> No.66463069
File: 73 KB, 295x216, allsmiles.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>fapping on the toilet with the phone in one hand
>not just stripping down to your boxers, edging like crazy to whatever it is you want to fap to, and heading toward the bathroom sink once you're ready to bust

>> No.66463081
File: 61 KB, 362x470, 07c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>being such a low test faggot that your cum lands anywhere within a foot of you
good luck having children, fairy

>> No.66464755

>Not holding your cum with your foreskin and then casually walking to the toilet or shower

>> No.66464774

get a tablet with tent-mode, faggot

>> No.66464777

>not just drinking your cum

>> No.66464794

I hear it has a lot of protein

>> No.66464851

you only do this when you still live at your parenthood

>> No.66464868

In high school during the summer I used to lock my door and start fapping to cam sluts at around 9 or 10pm when everyone went to sleep. Would edge for an hour or two. Lay down on my bed and just have it on and watch it till I fell asleep, then I would wake up multiple times and edge for 30 minutes or so until i finally had one last session where I would cum into my garbage can because it would literally shoot out extremely fast for over 30 seconds. There was so much fucking cum holy shit.

>> No.66464942
File: 1.78 MB, 500x625, 1512536716365.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.66465055

I almost only fap to doujinshi at this point, which I can just read from my phone.

>> No.66465116

>Denying the only sexual pleasure you'll have for a meme

>> No.66465310

Well I just but my bad dragon dildo on a chair and bounce on it when I use desktop. Of course laptop+bed is more comfy tho.

>> No.66465324

*put not but

>> No.66465343

>he doesn't realize how ridiculously easy it is to get laid in 2018
women are just as horny as men and they watch the same depraved shit online, you don't even have to look great to get laid.

>> No.66465355


>> No.66465363

this is the dumbest, most delusional and bait-worthy post i heard all year, gj

>> No.66465380

>being brainwashed to the point that you can't even enjoy following the absolute most basic instinct humans have

women are primarily attracted to confidence, not looks.

>> No.66465501

sluts are not women, anon
not everyone wants herpes here

>> No.66465524

>every woman that wants to have sex is a slut
so how about your mom

your world view is straight out of the 40's
have fun never getting to fuck

>> No.66465536

I re-soldered the motor from a Remington massager and stuck it inside a PVC pipe; so it basically vibrates. I sticky tape it to my dick and adjust the vibration as needed; incredible orgasms. When i was 17 I engineered the motor from a rotating fan to give me blow jobs'; broke is because the torque was too much. From sticking hair conditioner inside latex gloves to saline-ing my balls; I've done it all.

>> No.66465620

>I was looking into mounting a monitor above my bed and use a controller that acts as a mouse, but it’s surprising hard to do. You’d think they would have this down by now. So I’m not really sure what to do.

The steam link is off 95% right now (less than 3€). Steam controller on 33% off.

37.61€ for both and you get a controller with two touchpads that acts as a mouse, and the link has an HDMI output to your mounted monitor.

Of course you'd be remotely streaming your PC, so you might want to turn off its screen and speakers while you wank.

>> No.66465655

mom my only had me because her parents wanted a grandchild and for her not to be lonely

>> No.66465693

also i did have sex, it was ok. but she was a prostitute and i felt really sorry for her afterward. its really not worth it if you dont love the person (faking it is cringe too)

>> No.66465720
File: 20 KB, 500x473, steelcase-gesture.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>all of these people who fap at their computer chairs and get jizz all over them
Yeah, no, not going to spend $1,200 on a Steelcase Gesture and then get jizz all over the fabric seat.

This is why desktop + laptop combo is the best, laptop for when you travel or want to browse the web while in bed, desktop for primary PC use.

>> No.66465833

You cum in your hand and then wash your hand dumbass.

Or if you're smarter, buy a fucking onahole. They're cheap and re-usable.

>> No.66465892

You spent 1200 dollars on a fabric fucking chair? Holy shit lol

>> No.66465958

Get a longer monitor arm then you can sit in any recliner while you are at your desktop. If typing with the keyboard on your lap is uncomfortable then swing it over to sit in a regular office chair

>> No.66466019

>Not knowing about shit jugs

>> No.66466756

Got a 20% discount. 12 year warranty, proper ergonomics, well built. Much better than a $300 chair you throw out after a year or two or getting Sciatica.

>> No.66466893

>Put long towel on chair and let it go to floor
>Watch porn and sit in chair
>Jerk it as desired, use towel to catch mess and clean up
>Wash towel in laundry, repeat

It's not brain surgery.

>> No.66466934

Who here just cums on toilet paper and then just throw it away?

>> No.66466961

Damn dude, yesterday, i made a tech related thread and was deleted in 15 mins.
Now we are talking about how and where to fap and everyone is contributing to the conversation.
Took me years to realize how stupid this place is. I deserve it.

>> No.66466962

I've had the same girlfriend for 15 years.
If I ever feel the need to fap, I just do a quicky on the computer in my chair and cum into a napkin.

>> No.66467001

it's worth it if you just wanna have sex with a nice body without love though

>> No.66467070
File: 91 KB, 200x200, polar bear walking.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>not fapping into own mouth
>not fapping into bowl and injecting cum into self via syringe
>not having a syrian/south east asian orphan girl clean up your cum with a Mister Clean™ Magic Eraser sponge
>not letting your dog lick it up

>> No.66467162

>tfw steam link isn't available in canuckistan

>> No.66467377

I don't need to fap wtf are you talking about

>> No.66467423

>magic eraser your dick
this is how you get chemical burns

>> No.66467606


>> No.66467631

Nice technology thread, faggots.

>> No.66467633

> not removing your genitals surgically so this shit never bothers you

>> No.66467645

B-but there's computer use involved

>> No.66467657

> not simply standing naked in rush hour traffic jerking it into a rain culvet or footpath guttering.

>> No.66468204

>not restoring foreskin

>> No.66469056

h-how ? is that possible ?

>> No.66469261

It is. I used to be cut so tight that erections were sometimes painful, and my skin would tear if I tried to masturbate without lube. I restored my foreskin, and after about two years I had full flaccid coverage. Now my glans is covered when I'm flaccid, and my foreskin can be pulled over my head when I'm erect.

This is a good resource if you're interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/foreskin_restoration

>> No.66469322

>laptop on my chest

does it not burn?

>> No.66469344

>still spent 1k
>"warranty" on a chair
I'll bet my no-name hand-me-down random office chair is going to last longer and get better use than your muh premium ergonomics one

>> No.66469363

I use a folded in half printer paper so when I shoot it hits the paper and I can see the amount clearly

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