/fa/ - Fashion

>>15827343
man thats just tragic

>>15827346
Is it really over? I mean it gets easier but I'm just obviously not like these other people who never had an issue with it.

>>15827343

wanting to fit in so bad is pretty uncool
i think u need to get to the root of the issue man
21 is young as fuck and i dont completely not understand where ur coming from but i think you'd be better off working on yourself without seeking validation for it as a reward and before you know it you'll find that the person you've built yourself up to be is pretty cool and by then you[ll realize that the people you think are "cool" and want to fit in with are actually nothing special and ur actually cooler and u meet other cool people by that age then
hope that helps

>>15827343
use your weaknesses to your advantage.
>if awkward/not many friends, then keep your circle small and be comfortable around them
>if quiet, then make what you do say matter
>had falling out, then use your past as wisdom, be introspective without preaching, and only advise when asked
>don't try hard
>don't be gay

>>15827358

also stop having pics of internet whores saved in your posession thats pretty cringe and uncool

listen to >>15827358

>>15827343
Socializing is just like any other skill: if you want to get better it just takes practice, as uncomfortable as it may be at first. As far as being self-conscious, I haven't really dealt with this since I was younger, so I'm not sure what to say besides that you rarely need to worry what other people think of you, because chances are they are not thinking about you, being distracted by thinking about what other people think of them.
That said, being basically any age out of high school and being worried about fitting in, let alone "being cool" seems kind of odd to me. Whether or not you fit in doesn't matter so long as you're able to accomplish your goals, and it sounds like you're moving in the right direction; having just a few good friends that you actually like is imo one of the most valuable things you can have. If you find that your lack of social skills is hindering you in obtaining a goal that's genuinely important to you, then finding some outlet to practice (it sounds autistic, but again, socializing is just like any other skill) would be a good thing to add.

>>15827343
What's wrong with her face?

>>15827415
she's not white and she's trying to look white
many such cases
sad

>>15827343
social media has us believing that the person we were when we were young/in highschool is the person we are for the rest of our lives. that segement of our lives chases us through the rest of our youth like a sort of social resume you can't really get away with lieing on.

i never struggled with that personally, but for my own reasons i dropped all social media and went back to school (university) at 23, and it's genuinely amazing how different of a person you can be. i had nothing from my past really following me, and what people knew of my past is what i decided to share with them/be honest about. a mans past is no ones buisness but his own.

when you realize that you control how people perceive you, you start to realize how you genuinely want people to perceive you, based on no ones standards/criteria but your own.

you won't want to fit in once you realize that. you won't see yourself as a puzzle piece that doesn't fit into the larger puzzle. you'll start to see others as the pieces that may or may not fit into YOUR puzzle.

the only thing wrong with you is how you view yourself.

>>15827343
>13-18 who hung out with a bunch of other loners who also were raised on 4chan. At about 18 I began losing some weight and made some cool friends
holy fuck what a desperate piece of shit

>>15827343
I don't know what kind of sage advice you expected to get here, but you've come to the wrong place. These boards only exist for social retards to degrade one another and be told their mediocrity is inescapable and they have no choice or responsibility. The best thing you can do is get the fuck off this site and stop being a little faggot. If you spend your entire life actively worrying about being cool or acceptable to standards you imagine other people have, you're never going to get to that point and you'll miss out on any real fulfillment. Just go outside. These imagined defects are the only thing holding you back

>>15827343
Spoiler alert: your “cool friends” aren’t actually cool

>>15827343
>I wanna be normal and hang out with the normal kids and have a normal life
Normalcy doesn’t exist in this day and age. It’s just your desires projected onto a social image. Actual “normal” people are boring as fuck and have almost nothing going on in their lives. They are literally the same as people who spend all day on 4chan except they they live in more popular socially acceptable social media’s. Fuck trying to make friends and just work on being as unique and interesting af, before I knew it I went from feeling like a schizo creep to and actual interesting vagabond type character. I honestly thought people were making fun of me when they would approach me or act nice when I would just try to do my own thing. You also get an ego and confidence because you can actually talk about hobbies and interests unlike the rest of the population who have 0 personality. The trick is to always feel like you can be more interesting and that you are more interesting than everyone else
>tl;dr just focus on yourself bro. Only you can give yourself what you desire

>>15827358
>>15827504
This. All the “cool” people I’ve met are just objects of consumption. People are attracted to them because they see them as a walking social media post that they can follow mindlessly. Actual cool people today get perplexed reactions because they don’t know how to react to humans with actual personality or seething reactions because of insecurity

>>15827422
>when you realize that you control how people perceive you, you start to realize how you genuinely want people to perceive you, based on no ones standards/criteria but your own.

exactly correct

everybody will see you how you want to be seen and people like being told how to see things, if you present yourself one way they'll believe it, if you present yourself another way they'll believe that

you can be a complete shut-in nerd for your entire life but if you meet somebody completely new who doesn't know you at all and you present yourself as cool and sociable (even if you're just pretending) they'll believe it, and soon it'll just be your regular personality and you won't be pretending at that point

>>15827343
Nobody is effay after 25.

>>15827343
cool is more than a look. cool is how you carry yourself, you can wear some beat down shit and be cool while some tryhard can wear expensive and good looking stuff and be lame. im not saying how you dress isn't important but as long as you're comfortable wearing it and dont SMELL LIKE SHIT nobody really cares, unless of course they're tryhards/snobs (ie NOT COOL)

>>15827767
>Nobody is effay after under 25
fixed that for you

>>15827343
Holy shit, are you me?
The only difference is after my "cool" friends and i fell out after my freshman year of college, i just gave up on trying. I have 3 friends from high school, work colleagues, and family and im happy this way. Age 20 here. You dont need their validation - took me too long to realize that. Sex, fulfillment, good fashion sense, success, all comes from within, self confidence. You dont need to be cool - just know that whatever you do, whatever you look like, you are a boss, you are important, carry yourself like this and it will become true. Not arrogance or karenness - just confidence.

>>15827767
Sorry you burnt yourself out in your youth or are genetically ugly

>>15827507
But I spend all day on 4chan. There's nothing interesting. I have nothing going on

>>15827526
>everybody will see you how you want to be seen

>>15827343
21 is not teenager anymore but it's college age and college is just an extention of high school where everyone is a little bit less retarded. Honestly just do what you want anon and stop thinking so much. You'll be 28 some day and think ''wtf how could I think 21 was too old for literally anything, I was basically a kid''.

t. 22 years old so I don't know much about aging either but that's my take. I also kind of had/have to relive my teenage years because I was kind of a boring autist in high school. Not complete overweight 4chan loser, but just never went out much or did alot of stuff. I was with the cool people but not really cool myself, at least not in a traditional sense. Thinking back I was a pretty cool guy but more in a edgy kind of way lol

I'm in the same boat at 30. I have a close circle (triangle) of friends that don't care about expanding and would rather live close to their parents, play boardgames, make dinners.. I'm fine with that, I enjoy them thoroughly..

But what they don't realize is that I have wants inside me, needs. Nobody I know works or is involved with my passions (music, graphics). Nobody I know has any sense of fashion. I have to trudge those paths alone, with the help of the internet. The world is a gigantic place and it really fucking pains me to stay in my bubble forever.

This happened because of some childhood issues, patental issues, social anxiety, etc. For 7 years now I've been trying to course correct. I have not given up yet. I have things inside me trying to escape, express.

>>15827360
>>if quiet, then make what you do say matter
If you're quiet/shy, just have a more laid back attitude and don't stress anything and people will come to you.

Read the last psychiatrists blog, it may give you some insight into why you have such a deep seated need to have your inner self conception validated by others.

>>15827343
>wants to be cool
you have a middle school mindset, get some friends and maybe a gf and stop worrying about how others perceive you

>>15827343
As soon as you have to ask how to become "cool" it's too late. Giving a shit about whether you're cool or not ain't cool.

The person thats doing their own thing, and gained some sort of higher status that puts them above the average person is cool. If you're in a mindset of trying to be cool and doing this through how you dress you will never be seen as cool.

A good example of somone that's cool is Kim Jung gi. He's a mastery level Ink artist that does and dresses how he wants. He's worshipped by millions for his talent and has a very laid back attitude. Everything about him is cool because this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoqu5SEFqRI

the fact that you're fretting means you are not cool

>>15827343
cringe m8

>>15828199
Sometimes you need to break out of your own personal/routinely/mental prisons to become a better self. This means fretting. Being completely at ease is borderline lethargy

>>15828262
idk dawg do an acid enema

>>15827343
listen to Devo - Through Being Cool

>>15827343
>21

Haha. Dude, your 20s is easy. When you get to your 30s, with a long term gf and a stable job, that's when your friendship circle shrinks. I and many people I know my age, have found it very hard to meet and get to know new people our own age.

>>15828281
What are you talking about? I have no friends. There's no one to meet and no way to meet them.
20s is easy my ass.

>>15828285
>There's no one to meet and no way to meet them.
I literally can't leave my house without seeing cute girls everywhere. Unless you live in bumfuck nowhere Kansan it's so easy. Just pick up a hobby to meet completely new people or go out with the people you already know more often. They know people, who also know people... just go outside man.

>>15828316
Where is this awesome place. Here in boring London suburbs (Fulham), there is the occasional fittie (usually foreign) but most of the girls I see have flat bums and very boring anglo faces.

>>15828316
I live in a major city. Theres nothing to do
Not sure if you noticed this but there's a pandemic and nobody is doing anything

>>15828345
I live in germany, suburbs of a 200k city. It has a big university so there are always young people around, also high school students etc. I've never really been anywhere in my life except for even bigger german cities but you literally live in london, there must be a youth culture right?
I swear if I leave the house to go shopping/going to work/just running tasks without going out to meet people I still see lots of good looking girls.

>>15828358
>youth culture
I'm 32 bruh. It's over for me. I prefer to read books (and shitpost) now.

>>15828358
Why are you so obsessed with good looking girls? I think I'd rather just have friends first

>>15828387
Good looking girls are just a indicator of where cool/trendy people are

>>15828392
I don't really care about that. I just wish I had things to do

>>15828345
NIGGA FROM FULHAM LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

>>15828397
Then start doing things that interest you lol. Pick something and try, see where it goes

>>15827978
It's true even if you don't want to believe it, self-image is entirely fabricated

>>15827767
^^^ You’ll never be young again. Can you be respectable? Can you run shit like the cool kids did? Yes. But you’ll never be “cool”

>>15827973
Then do something retard

You can't be cool if you're desperately trying to fit in and get the approval of others. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and go your own way. Then maybe you can become cool. You'll know you've made it when people want to hang out with you and be like you. Cool people just are. They don't try to be cool.

never too old anon. people say you age out of being cool because every year you get older more and more of your friends drop out into total normiedom ("i don't really go to shows anymore" "oh we just kinda settled down in this house" "i just want a high-paying job so that i buy more stuff" "oh we just like to stay in and watch netflix most nights") and it becomes a tangible pressure–a constantly growing pressure to comform.

but here's the real pill: this is the only life you're gonna get; you might as well spend it doing things you like, doing things are important and enjoyable to you.

this doesn't mean you have to larp as a teenager into your 30s. you're allowed to grow up and you're allowed to mature, but people often correlate these two with become a boomer-tier boring piece of suburban scum. but it doesn't have to be this way.

it'll be a work in progress, but you can totally work on yourself and feel yourself become cooler every year.

>>15827343
the guy that runs the coolest venue in my major european capital city™ worked as a fucking investment banker until he was 35, flipped a fucking switch when he realized he hated his life, pooled money with some friends and opened a venue and now he's the beloved heart of multiple art/music scenes into his 50s.

>>15827343
>21 years old. I feel like I'm very quickly running out of time to fit in socially in the way I always wanted to.

Cool people don't try to fit in and neither should you.

>>15827343
Stop looking for approval from others

I'm serious, Its clear in your post that whether you are "cool" or not in your eyes, is based on whether other "cool" people like you. I don't normally call people autistic on this board, but this behaviour actually strikes me as such.

Legitimately confident, cool people are how they are because they project an aura that even if you threw them into a completely foreign environment (a new school, workplace, etc.) they would have the confidence and ability to succeed in that environment. That confidence attracts other confident people.

Stop worrying about others, worry about yourself.

>>15827343
Do you people actually think someone who looks like that is cool though? If you whispered into her ear "there's only 2 genders" she would throw a fucking hissy fit.

>>15829125
>I don't normally call people autistic on this board

99% percent of 4chan is autistic, this board included.

>>15827343
Wanting to be "cool" and actually being cool is an oxymoron. People are described as cool because they don't let their emotions overwhelm them. A "cool" person might be self conscious, but doesn't let the feelings of discomfort effect the choices they make. If you want to be cool it's because you're driven by wanting to be perceived as attractive to others which is the wrong mentality. Instead the question you should be asking yourself is what are my interest and how do I want to express myself. From there it's just learning how to get through the discomfort of being yourself.

>>15827343
Its definitely too late for you.

>>15827343
get on finasteride NOW!

>>15827343
You need a reality check but you will probably become a tranny before that happens.

>>15828963
Like what

Is that a real girl or a tranny?

>>15828422
I have no interests

>>15829285
HAHAHAHAHAHA

>>15829280
only one way to find out buddy

>>15827343
Being cool and trendy are two different things. Cool means cool-headed and you can do that at any age. That's where Style flows out from, irrespective of current social or popular trends.

>>15829280
she's some brazilian instagramer can't remember her name

>>15827415
Nothing at all. A little bit alien like but I assume it's the aim

>>15827343
life ends at age 20 sorry bro let's get you into the nursing home

>>15827343
You don't have to be "cool" to be "cool". Just be confident in who you are and you will quickly figure that out. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on yourself.

You know what's being cool dude? Being open to new experiences, having hobbies you enjoy and not being held back by the opinion of others.

Go out, check if there are any topics that interest you and meet new people there.

I was the typical gym bro a few years ago and mentioned to a girl at a party that I wanted to improve my flexibility. She told me to do ballet classes and I did for half a year - one year and it was really fun and I met lots of people there. If I would have said "nah that's gay" I would have missed out on a great experience that I appreciate having done even if I didn't continue doing it.

>>15832107
Didn't work