how can i have hardcore sex without my neighbors noticing?

[Anonymous No.1976059]

I want to isolate my bed so i can jump on it at night without my neighbors noticing. I live in a apartment with razor thin walls and floors.

I cant sleep at night because im restless, my neighbors are annoyed by it and start slamming the walls and ceiling, making me more restless and anxious. I cant take it anymore.

[Anonymous No.1976065]

easier solution: build an automatic annoyer.
1: get a very loud piece of machinery like a huge ass drill or something
2: hack power switch
3: attach to 15 minute timer (in a way that every 15 minutes it runs for 5 minutes and then shuts off again)
4: pack stuff for sleeping at friends house
5: turn on device
6: leave
7: next day threaten neighbors with leaving it on forever
8: profit

[Anonymous No.1976067]

Play loud pornography any time you are not having sex.

[Anonymous No.1976079]

>>1976065
Thats not really the solution im looking for

[Anonymous No.1976105]

>>1976059
>isolate my bed
"Jumping on bed" is a heavy mechanical load so you can't just put up carpets etc because it literally travels into the wall.
Unless you have some extreme dampening e.g. a trampoline or a bed suspended with bungee cords, you won't be able to eliminate the mechanical waves traveling into the floor and into the building structure.

[Anonymous No.1976188]

>>1976059
Hammock attached to it’s own frame

[Anonymous No.1976203]

>>1976079
Not the solution you were looking for, but the solution you need.

[Anonymous No.1976306]

Goats scream nuttn can be done

[Anonymous No.1976315]

I'd like to propose that we create /afg/ - apartment fag general, where questions about thin walls, loud music, smelly cooking, and minor plumbing repair can be collected and contained.
As answers to the questions won't actually be necessary, the cost to the board will be low. The primary goal will be to point and laugh.

[Anonymous No.1976337]

>>1976059
try moving your bed. stud finders arent worth a shit but it might help to aline your bed legs with the supports not just have it on top of open gaps covered by particle board

the idea is that the motion creates vibrations that are heard which is normal but it moves more when you move on the bed if the weight isnt supported entirely as the sound can leap easier through open gaps and solid material will dampen it naturally . im sure your bed springs are more to blame than anything but more sound on their side may be heard

[El Goucho Domino No.1976378]

Make four wide boxes for the floor with an open top. Make four more boxes with an open bottom that just fits over the bottom box.

Place an inner tube in the bottom boxes and place the top boxes over the bottom box. Place bed on top of air spring boxes. Drilling a hole in the bottom box to inflate the tube might be easier than pre-inflating and trying to cram it in the box.

[Anonymous No.1976462]

Op, try to hang your bed on the chains.

[Anonymous No.1976475]

How much noise does fucking a sock make

[Anonymous No.1976858]

>>1976337
>. im sure your bed springs are more to blame than anything but more sound on their side may be heard

I think you are right first step will be buying a new bed

[Anonymous No.1976947]

>>1976378
Some pneumatic shock absorbers would do a better job and be easier to install, and if you hook them up to a compressor you would have a diy fuckmaster 3000 auto thruster bed

OP, please build and post a video of sex in cowgirl position. I need to see her reaction when you flip the switch and turn yourself into a rodeo dildo

[Anonymous No.1976948]

>>1976059

have sex with them and they won't care about the noise

[Anonymous No.1976953]

>>1976059
Put it inside a levitating (magnets) egg box with foam mattresses around the whole thing

[Anonymous No.1976960]

>>1976059
Stop using caffeine (or other drugs).
Get exercise.
If you can't sleep, get up and stretch.
If your muscles are in physical pain try some kind of icyhot type thing.

[Anonymous No.1977076]

>>1976059
Take melatonin to go to sleep, wear earplugs so you don't hear your annoying neighbors. Fuck that.

Optionally, fix your bedframe so when you have sex it doesn't squeak and the headboard doesn't bump the wall. Beyond that I wouldn't bother with soundproofing. Putting in all that effort for the benefit of your neighbors is dumb; you have the right to make a normal amount of noise and they have to deal with it. That's just what apartment living is.

[Anonymous No.1977357]

http://www.hisutton.com/Submarine_Stealth.html
A few simple techniques you can apply to your bedroom to bang you're gf without ur neighbors noticing

[Anonymous No.1977373]

>>1976105
>bed suspended with bungee cords
This, OP.

Like so.

[Anonymous No.1977374]

>>1976947
fuckin lel

[Anonymous No.1977493]

>>1976947
>hook them up to a compressor
Lol that sounds like a plan

[Anonymous No.1977494]

>>1977357
Thnxs, this might be isefull

[Anonymous No.1977515]

>>1976059
go to a rug warehouse, get like 2 layers similar to the massive thick wide persian rugs

[Anonymous No.1977537]

>>1976059
Move your bed an inch away from the walls and maybe get some vibration damping foam under the feet/wheels. If your bed creaks then find the source of the noise and apply some WD40. This should reduce the noise.

[Anonymous No.1978215]

>>1976059
get horse stall mats, put them on floor.
put plywood over that where bed, tables, and chairs are.

[Anonymous No.1978673]

>>1976059
Have a quite word with your neighbour see if you can sleep in with them.

[Anonymous No.1978749]

>>1977494
pls maek this sound wen u cum in youar'e gf
https://youtu.be/sCmyZYYR7_s?t=12
thanks

[Anonymous No.1978754]

>>1976059
get a waterbed

[Anonymous No.1978761]

Maglev.

[Anonymous No.1979057]

>>1976059
1. Install a washing machine in your bedroom
2. Hump in rhythm with the machine

[Anonymous No.1979301]

>>1979057
OP this guy is lying you need to hump 180 degrees out of phase with the washing machine

[Anonymous No.1981828]

Do you have a diagram of the house/room?
I had to do a noise project at work which sucked but learned a bit from.
Firstly find any cracks that noise can get through and fill it. One common one is the space underneath the door, you can buy/make one of those door draft reducers.
Secondly move the bed as far away from any walls as possible. If you dont want your bed it the center of the room, then move it to an outward facing wall with as much distance as possible from all the other walls.
The next would be to dampen the mechanical movement on the ground, using a rubber bed stoppers or similar. Basically anything that softens the blow.
The last thing would be for reflected noise, like how noise carries in rooms with high ceilings. You could put up some kind of false wall or barrier close to the bed to reflect noise back to the outside wall, fill the room with soft furniture, thick carpet, etc.
Depending on what you're doing now you should be able to design a cheap way to drop noise by 10+ decibels without buying a bunch of expensive foam stuff

[Anonymous No.1981968]

>>1976203
If he wants concussion, that is.

[Anonymous No.1982796]

Put the mattress on the floor or some blankets and have sex on that.

[Anonymous No.1983172]

>>1976059
Stop being a beta and plow your bitch fuck your neighbors

[Anonymous No.1983695]

>>1976947
for the love of all that's good someone do this i need to see it

[Anonymous No.1983767]

>>1976059
Pay attention to where the sound comes from. Most probably the bed squeezing... Almost all beds do that with some movement, make your own or lay a mattress on the ground. I made my own out of 3*6's and the only sound left is moans of pleasure.
Next step: a good gag.

[Anonymous No.1983893]

>>1976059
Rape the bitch outside in the woods like god intended you dumb faggot

[Anonymous No.1985887]

It's pointless.
I also live in an apartment with thin walls and floors. There is no way to have sex in a place where you can't even have a conversation or walk across the floor. They will hear everything. They will file complaints.
It's a very different kind of living. Your every thought and action has to be silence.
Forget having people over, watching movies, having sex, or anything like that.
I'm a little bitter about it, can you tell? Apartments suck.