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/diy/ - Do-It-Yourself

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1680974 No.1680974 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

Ok anons. I'm sure this has been posted before but I'm gonna ask it anyway. I live in a small neighborhood. Its gated with about 15 houses. Its mostly olds and a few college aged kids. All these fuckers got dogs - big dogs, little dogs, yappy dogs, etc.

All fucking kinds. I have a small patch of grass between my driveway and a concrete pad (for extra parking) in front of my house. It's about 4x10ft. And goddammit these fuckers seem to be shitting exclusively in that patch. It's clearly different dogs doing it too. It usually happens when I'm gone to work or out of town when the owners know they can get away with it (small community).

I've been removing the poop and placing it neatly in the road so it's very clear that I am noticing and am wanting all the other neighbors to notice too - so it cant be ignored. I'm getting a camera set up but in the meantime what can I do to:

a) take some stealthy non-lethal revenge
b) deter these fucking dogs from even coming near my house let alone the grass

Inb4 hurrdurr shotgun

>> No.1681000

hurrdurr shotgun

>> No.1681004

hurrdurr shotgun

>> No.1681020

Install camera
Find who shits
Find their house
Take their shit and smear it around door knobs and windows.

>> No.1681022

Oh, and their car.
Don't worry, you may help with shit too

>> No.1681024

We have a bulletin board in the neighborhood that I was going to post the culprits' pictures on once I get the camera set up.

I've had cayenne pepper suggested and buck urine too (although I cant imagine that would be helpful)

>> No.1681028


Hurrdurr thanks for the bamp

>> No.1681066

>I've had cayenne pepper suggested and buck urine too (although I cant imagine that would be helpful)
Nah, unless owners step in their shit, it won't help

>> No.1681071

Spray your patch of grass with a solution or just rip it the fuck out.
That's what folks around me are doing.

>> No.1681074

>Spray your patch of grass with a solution
not op but i have cats who constantly shit in my garden. what is this solution you speak of?

>> No.1681084

Based and boomerpilled

>> No.1681097

You got me cuz. This isnt even my final form.

>> No.1681098

This is actually good. I'd never considered doing like a rock garden or low water landscaping.

>> No.1681101
File: 127 KB, 1000x640, F15DEB71-0ECB-43A5-A9F5-F2300F28E5C5.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.1681203

Thanks for the bamp homie

>> No.1681210

You could leave some meat with poison on your property but your relationship with your neighbors will be shit for the rest of time.
Better off setting up a camera, see who does it and transfer the shit to their doorstep

>> No.1681212

A big passive aggressive sign
This lawn contains chemicals known to harm pets and small animals

>> No.1681238

Forget that, put a sign saying "We don't call 911" with a decal of an assault rifle.

Also optional, a sign saying "Shit on my ground to get a free ticket to the burial mound", or "Place turd get hurt", or "He who messes with feces gets shot on the spot", or "Shit here and I'll make you disappear", or "One bad smell and I'll make you not feel very well". You get the gist of it.

>> No.1681242

It won't do anything. Smearing shit on their car will do.
I did, never got caught, and never seen them even come close to my lawn.

>> No.1681272

How drunk are you
"Fist bump"

>> No.1681351

Step 1. Harvest poops

Step 2. Grow produce in it

Step 4. Revenge and profit(?)

>> No.1681359

Set out a bowl of anti freeze and some hot dog snacks with a good amount of rat poison in them.

Get a Wyze camera and set up an alert.

>> No.1681430

A fence would work, unless gated community or shitty city code.

>> No.1681436

This might be a bit complicated but you could make a laser tripwire that activates sprinkles when something goes in your yard
Oh and make it spray a bit over the yard where the owners would be
>red/infrared laser, light detector, arduino, sprinklers, hose, solenoid valve, wire

>> No.1681471

Got an HOA but it's reasonable. Was going to get pics and bring it up in the next meeting if nothing else.

This is actually a great idea, anon. Gonna ask the old man (handy with electronics) about feasibility. Fucking top notch idea.

>> No.1681472

Got my camera set up and its already pinging me at work as ppl walk by. No culprits ... yet.

>> No.1681489

Or go knock on the door like an adult and ask them to stop. Or motion sensor rigged airhorn, that works too.

>> No.1681495

Gotta identify them before I can knock. I'm a big fan or face to face confrontation. And by nature, the phantom pooper seems to be the opposite.
Also air horn is hilarious. More for the dog and less for the walker. A mid-poo terror.

>> No.1681513

>Or go knock on the door like an adult and ask them to stop.
Nonono, put the turn on doorstep and knock the door.

>> No.1681538

this guys has the right idea

>> No.1681543

buck urine, great idea there

>> No.1681569

First, install a dog whistle on the front of your car so when you roll the neighborhood it fucks them all up.

Second, you can buy/make an electronic device that sends out tones only dogs find annoying. Shops in the UK use them on teenagers.

Third, install camera and call them out at next meeting and ask how they'd appreciate you shitting on their lawn.

>> No.1681588

For cats a solution that produces a citrus smell should do it as the scent drives them away.

There may also be sprays that claim to be mixed specially for this problem.

>> No.1681590

Or really just put a fence up if you want a guaranteed solution and are skeptical of the other suggestions. Dogs can’t climb and if the owner is doing it deliberately then you should be able to catch or deter them that way.

>> No.1681591

Place the dog shit in a paper bag, ring the bell and set the bag alight, hide and when they stomp their feet on the bag to put out the fire shout GOTTEM.

>> No.1681594

water it down and throw the shitty water solution on their AC units late at night.

>> No.1681596

Nah, ACs don't take air from outside.
Smearing shit on door handles is way more evil. Especially on car, where you don't see the back side of handle

>> No.1681679
File: 97 KB, 694x679, it will cost more to build than to buy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Gonna ask the old man (handy with electronics) about feasibility.
yeah, it's feasible

>> No.1681696

Place a strong high pitch noise that humans can't hear but will drive dogs crazy.

>> No.1681697


>> No.1681750


>> No.1681756

I had same situation, but with people dumping trash. I caught them, confronted, said that it is your problem you miss garbage truck every time... All they did is they started whine like pigs, and continued using my property as a dumpster.
I had it enough, figured where do they live, and stated throwing their trash in random location around their house.
After couple days they stopped.

>> No.1681757

Put out a bowl of dog food with Ex-Lax for a few days. That’ll teach those fuckers.

>> No.1683630

I've left out the little laxative chews before at another house to great success.

Update: HOA states it's a problem we should address with animal control. So I'm just gonna start shooting those fuckers with the pellet gun and go from there.
It's apparently been an issue, as we have some new college kids in the neighborhood that dont show up to the HOA meetings and they also have the dogs. So they're hated by the powers that be and that basically gives me free range to be as mischievous as possible.

>> No.1683744

Pour bacon grease on the poop, dogs will clean it up for you

>> No.1684348

do this OP

>> No.1684350

Postal Address: Cesar’s Way, Inc. or Cesar Millan Pack Project
PO Box 802888
Santa Clarita, CA 91380-288

>> No.1684395

Sprinkler motion activate

>> No.1684406

OP just needs to leave cat poop since dogs will eat it.

>> No.1684412

>messes with feces
doesn't rhyme at all

>> No.1685012

I don't think OP wants to be arrested to solve his problem.

>> No.1685029

Call the ATF and tell them that your neighbours own illegally manufactured machine guns, all dogs will be gone in less than a day

>> No.1685236


>> No.1685322

Gonna try this. My camera wont pick up the dogs unless the owner is walking them (doesn't activate the motion sensor for some reason) so I'm upgrading the camera. They're usually just let loose...gonna pop em with the pellet gun next time I see one in the yard.

>> No.1685476

Yo this nigga wants you to priority express your poop to him

Do this OP

>> No.1685509

Has anyone EVER in the history of forever EVER irl said "hurrdurr"?

>> No.1685536

Yep. My 21 year old son's friends thought it was cool as shit when they found out I got a two week ban a few months back. I've pulled HurrDurr on them several times. Talk about a bunch of faggots...

>> No.1686211

What was their response to that?

>> No.1686931

the fence is a great idea, and put a sign on it that says no tresspassing, and another sign that says no dogs, then they will know what they did wrong

>> No.1686932


>> No.1687272

I’m going to assume you used speech to text to put this up

>> No.1687567

It's been done. I believe this guy sells a kit.


>> No.1688046

If the other party already doesn't behave like adults what's the point?
Name and shame or "cause and effect education" works even on retards.

>> No.1688056

Neither does Anchovies.

>> No.1688133

The point isn’t really to teach them a lesson. If you want to do that, then the solution is something else entirely.

The fence and everything else is a legal way to protect your property and, if the problem persists, take legal action at a later date where your odds of success are salient.

>> No.1688139

Misletoe in some dog food.

>> No.1688460

>a decal of an assault rifle.
>begins to file red flag charge

>> No.1688478
File: 94 KB, 594x397, 1519502695834.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>owning registered firearms on your name

>> No.1688764

Get ground up carolina reaper peppers and shake that all over the areas you want them to stay away from.

>> No.1688957

Is that a rabbitt made of poo sucking itself?

>> No.1689548

This is the best solution. Greasy turds will leave a nice surprise for the owner later and the problem might solve itself

>> No.1690677

Why not just cut out the middle man and go directly to court

>> No.1691500

I just did rigth now, just to be sure.

>> No.1691658
File: 1.84 MB, 2560x1440, Screenshot_20190930-172924.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Sign. This one.

>> No.1691660

You forgot?
Poop in brown bag,
put in neighbor porch
Light bag on fire

>> No.1691667

Nice one. I would also smear shit on windows and door handle.

>> No.1691686
File: 170 KB, 1440x1080, 68874285_2580473612004448_7493754398556815360_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If gated community why not go to body corporate? They fuck people up for stuff like that in Australia.
>Building a fence
This costs a decent chunk o' money so I would leave that till last resort.
I have a 14 week old German Shepard and we use a spray bottle of deterrent that works pre well. Dilute is a little and spray your lawn, cost me about $14 for a litre.

>> No.1691691

In the future I’m going to refer people to this post so that there’s no confusion

>> No.1691911

motion detector + sprinkler, best nonlethal way
you can add skunk juice

>> No.1691929

Dog poo is far too aggressive for growing things into it.

>> No.1692814

op this is already a product

>> No.1694833

Yes, this is definitely serious enough to risk potentially thousands of dollars in civil court claims.

>> No.1696634

if you decide to shoot them use bird shot
wont hurt them only sting and they'll instinctively stay away from your property

>> No.1696636

Spray deer urine in someones elses yard
>Dogs love that shit

>> No.1696712

if they're loose call animal control. if they're loose and a pit breed put a bullet in them and claim it attacked you on your property.

>> No.1697740

A bulletin board? Your neighborhood sounds like a more conscientious one than most. I would wager that the person doing this doesn’t live in your neighborhood.

>> No.1697765

>only dogs find annoying. Shops in the UK use them on teenagers.
teenage dogs? WTF are you talking about? What does it do to teenagers if only dogs find them annoying?

>> No.1697767

Why terrorize the poor pup because his owner is a disgusting piece of shit?

>> No.1697769

Yeah show the world that you are an even bigger piece of shit than the shitpiles you are complaining about.

>> No.1697772

You made me laugh you prick but you are right. My buddy's daughter dates a jailbird, cops came the other day to arrest him and shot their dog. Poor guy, "he was a good boy".

>> No.1697777

Jesus Christ, last year when my dog was a pup a friend bought her a little sweater so I had to put it on her. Why must women humiliate man's best friend in suck a way?

>> No.1697779

The yard enforcer LEL

>> No.1697780

WTF is with you assholes looking for any excuse to shoots someones pet? Seek counseling you faggot retards.

>> No.1697793


Imagine thinking it's acceptable to let your mutt shit in someone elses yard. Peak soccermom. Neck yourself subhuman.

>> No.1697881


Is this like bald vampire or something?

>> No.1698579

>Shit here and I'll make you disappear
Holy fuck I'm crying

>> No.1698610

Smash up some glass really small so it looks like pebbles from a distance.

>> No.1699043

Some owners might just be careless enough....

>> No.1699104

Dark chocolate and xylitol work as well.

>> No.1699804

Place the dog shit in a paper bag, ring the bell and set the bag alight, hide and when they stomp their feet on the bag to put out the fire shoot them.

>> No.1699843

buy sasuages, poison them, profit

>> No.1700297

Back in the 80's I had a punk anarchist friend. His spin on this was to put a small piece of wood with a nail in it under the bag of flaming dog shit.

Classic gag + hepatitus.

I wonder where he is nowadays. Probably dead.

>> No.1700303

I thought they started putting a bittering agent into coolant now, to stop people from doing that?

>> No.1700473

Why spend money on a camera that only has one purpose, when you can just make a sign that says "Dog Owners Beware, Grass sprayed with anti animal acids" or some shit like that.

>> No.1700474

It's not the dogs fault, punish the owner not the dog.

>> No.1700480

Folks up in rural Alaska, the types that have sled dogs, will compost their dog's shit, and it works really well apparently

>> No.1701130

Talking about boomers on the 18th Anniversary of 9/11? Come on son.

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