remove cat

[Anonymous No.1665184]

how the fuck do i get these squatters off my property. had to enter my house by the unlocked back door because i forgot the keys and see a new cat making it's getaway out of my kitchen. i'm pretty sure this is the one who ate my pizza this weekend too. i've heard some stories from work but i'm not going to lock the cat in and beat it with a stick unless i have to.

so far I've only thought of making a motion detecting bomb from an air bag but i'd rather not fill my house with smoke when i'm at work

[Anonymous No.1665190]

>>1665184
You do not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW9f04Dctz4
You have been chosen by a feline overlord, accept your fate or perish.

[Anonymous No.1665191]

>>1665184
>Open door
>Rub around house making LOUD NOISES
>Like banging a pot with a rock
>SPOOK KITTY
>Make sure to bang under the couch, beds, other hiding spots
>Start at the far end of the house from the door to drive Squatter City Kitty(ies) towards open door
>Cats will fuck outta there

[Anonymous No.1665196]

>>1665184
Get a dog u schmuck

[Anonymous No.1665205]

>>1665196
i have a mini schnauzer but she's only established dominance over one gopnik in my house. i realize it's time for a bigger dog since i don't have to obey my parents after moving out but my budget doesn't allow it for now

>>1665191
these faggots haul ass when they realize i'm home

[Anonymous No.1665282]

Put out rabbit traps with cat food in them and catch them. Check their tags if they have any and make sure their owners stop their gopnikery. Take the strays to the shelter to get euthenized.

[Anonymous No.1665291]

Where the fuck do you live that cats can just get in the house, mexico?

[None !NIGgErxWJc No.1665298]

>>1665184
>>/an/
They know how to deal with toxoplasmosis.

Electric fence will work, anti-freeze (yes, you can legally leave it on your property in drip pan).
>airbag
Good idea, but expensive, and flying cat would attract to much attention

[Anonymous No.1665382]

>>1665291
If cats can get in rats can get in and I assume that's why they're going in.

[Anonymous No.1665401]

>>1665184
>set airbag
>come from work
>cat remains splattered across the ceiling
>no smoke tho
>Mission accomplished
Do this OP

[Anonymous No.1665807]

>>1665291
Iceland. why wouldn't they be able to sneak through the window of just any house? and no they're not coming here for rats, those bad boys only live in barns over here

>>1665282
good idea. highly illegal though

>>1665298
i prefer not to kill them unless they start shitting inside. i think i could make the airbag trap non-lethal and cheap. i have a few 12v batteries, fishing line and half a dozen airbags. enough to scare the shit out of the majority of cats in my neighborhood

[Anonymous No.1665812]

>>1665807
>highly illegal though
Why? It is legal everywhere...
>i think i could make the airbag trap non-lethal and cheap
I have doubts it would be non-lethal
Cats are retarded, actually, they are too stupid to remember that and avoid ur house.
Antifreeze would be better.

[Anonymous No.1665819]

>>1665807
>why wouldn't they be able to sneak through the window of just any house?
I don't leave windows open much. 3/4 of the year it's too hot or too cold.
Even if the windows are open, we have bug screens on every window to keep out mosquitoes and other flies.
What's iceland like for bugs?

[Anonymous No.1665822]

>>1665812
it's illegal to use in-town in iceland
>I have doubts it would be non-lethal
yeah i'd possibly mess up. if i go through with this, i'll definitely record it so that if it works, i can post it on my town's facebook group just for laughs

>>1665819
very tame until a cranefly enters your house and starts flailing about. couldn't use my kitchen for a day because of the faggot so i ended up smashing it with a rubber malle

[Anonymous No.1665831]

i think that arduinos will be overkill( and i don't have time to learn or order them) so i figure this would be my trigger mechanism. spring is pulling on a rod on a swivel. the rod wants to rotate but can't because of the extended tape measure (the pink thing) when cat trips the wire. the spring will have enough force to fold the tape measure and the rod will then connect the 12v from a car battery to the air bag.

this could probably be made less complex with a switch but less reliable i assume

[Anonymous No.1665996]

1st, either close your damn windows or put screens or bars on them. "diversities" are sneaking into every country nowadays there are big groups paying for it. You could be in finland 20 miles from the next human being and still come home to house full of refugee basketball-americans.

2nd option, if you won't secure your home or make them avoid it by using a pump and spraying vinegar and hot-sauce everywher,e why not kitty litter box filled up half way with kitty litter or sand or whatever, then large sheets of those sticky paper mouse/rat/fly traps, then sprinkle on a few bits of stray kitty litter to help disguise it.
It's not a baited or lethal trap, shouldn't break any laws- you were just trying to catch the flys that kept hovering around the kitty litter box.

Another, aside from things like bird spikes, the fly-paper type sticky paper comes in large sheets or even rolls, that are only sticky on one side. They are intended to be placed in attics and crawlspaces to catch rodents and snakes. Some places where rats or poisonous snakes or scorpions and spiders are a big problem, people line crawlspaces with them and then staple or tape pieces to the exterior walls.
Oh, and vegetable oil basically makes the shit un-sticky, in case you need to let go of something you caught by accident.

Or, hey, keep a hot plate burner with boiling oil just inside the window.

cat-catapult? It works with squirrel slingshot traps

[Anonymous No.1666080]

>>1665996
the sticky mouse traps are a great idea, might try those out. Lmao at that squirrel slingshot idea. Would love to make a tabby trebuchet to fling my neighbour's cat back into its own yard

[Anonymous No.1666087]

Why the fuck are you retards responding like it was a serious post?

[Anonymous No.1666114]

>>1666087
you don't think i'm serious? an exploding cat remover doesn't sould like a stretch when i used to ride this to my moms place for dinner every day

[Anonymous No.1666128]

>>1666114
What did you do to plank Johnny?

[Anonymous No.1666134]

>>1665184
>cat in and beat it with a stick
Mods
Reported Cunts Info to the FBI

Enjoy GenPop

[Anonymous No.1666163]

>>1665298
>flying cat would attract to much attention
Hahahahahaha

[Anonymous No.1666170]

>>1665822
>cranefly
You could not use your kitchen because of single cranefly? They are harmless and have a very short life span once they reach adulthood, probably would have died on its own in a few more hours if you let it be.

[Anonymous No.1666234]

>>1666128
i had to do it to him. i'm cool now

>>1666170
i hate being crawled on. these things are like flying spiders but unlike arachnids, these assholes flail around like retards since they can't see shit

[Anonymous No.1666448]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLG1jbPrp2Q
Do something like this.

[Anonymous No.1666844]

Cats hate the smell of citrus. Pet stores sell citrus based kitty repellant or make something of your own. I used orange peels to get cats away from a community garden plot.

[Anonymous No.1666847]

>>1666448
But with propane.

[Anonymous No.1666865]

Many such cases. Any .22 caliber rifle will work beautifully and might even be a little fun for target practice.

[Anonymous No.1666872]

>>1666844
I used oranges wedged in a potato gun for good effect

[Anonymous No.1666913]

>being such a nigger that animals just enter your home when you're not there
I think this has less to do with catching them and more to do with securing your damn house.

[Anonymous No.1666929]

>>1666844
This. Buy a bottle of limonene and make a highly concentrated spray bottle, use the bottle to mark all the boundaries of your property's interior and exterior.
A water pistol with super-limonene water will also be funny to shoot them with if you catch them.
Animals scent mark their territory, so in this instance, be like animal.

[Anonymous No.1667006]

>>1665184
>how the fuck do i get these squatters off my property. had to enter my house by the unlocked back door because i forgot the keys and see a new cat making it's getaway out of my kitchen. i'm pretty sure this is the one who ate my pizza this weekend too. i've heard some stories from work but i'm not going to lock the cat in and beat it with a stick unless i have to.
>so far I've only thought of making a motion detecting bomb from an air bag but i'd rather not fill my house with smoke when i'm at work


Buy a can of tuna.
Buy a bottle of aspirin. Actually, any NSAIDs will work, really. But Aspirin is readily available and cheap.
Crush 8 to 10 pills into the tuna fish.
Leave tuna fish outside on a plate.
Whatever little fucker cat eats it, will be dead in 36 hours.
Problem solved.

Around here, we just shoot the little fuckers if they're not our own Barn cats.