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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/diy/ - Do It Yourself

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1104666 No.1104666 [Reply] [Original]

I had a thread a little while back about making a wooden dick. I took some time to work at it some more, and I've got it a little more shaped up and have started working on some veins

>> No.1104667

Seating for your new apartment?

>> No.1104668

>>1104666
Best of luck man.

>> No.1104670 [DELETED] 

>>1104666
The girl hands and fake leather jacket speaks more then you know..

>> No.1104680

>>1104666
Forgot my tripcode.

I've got one solid vein finished. I'll post pics tomorrow.

>> No.1104685
File: 1.97 MB, 2880x2160, 20161226_234026.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1104685

>>1104680
This isn't me. I'm OP and any posts without this tripcode aren't me

>>1104670
>fake leather
I shiggy diggy

>> No.1104736
File: 2.02 MB, 2880x2160, 20161227_022502.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1104736

>>1104685
Coming along pretty well I'd say, minus the crack as I mentioned last thread

>> No.1104738
File: 1.89 MB, 2880x2160, 20161227_022522.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1104738

>>1104736
With pee pee hole
I'll start on the sanding in the coming days

>> No.1104764

How many parts are you planing to do?

>> No.1104802

>>1104666
Your boyfriend just not satisfied anymore?

>> No.1104826

>>1104802
Boyfriend?? Don't be disgusting.

It's for his grandmother.

>> No.1104849

>>1104666
is this for one of those Japanese festivals?

>> No.1104899

>>1104849
Perhaps he's staging an ancient Roman comedy play.

>> No.1104964

>>1104899
No he's giving it to his boyfriend because he thinks its funny. Not gay in any way

>> No.1105032
File: 213 KB, 625x274, spotted-seatrout-wood-plaque.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1105032

>>1104764
Well once I'm happy with the dick I'm going to mount it on a plaque as in pic related. That's pretty much it tho.

>>1104964
Yeah this. Again, no homo. No weeb or nerd shit either.

>> No.1105061

>>1105032
>i-it's just a large wooden phallus, painstakingly cut from a single piece of wood and sculpted by my own hands. No homo obv!

>> No.1105125

I see you went with the german helmet look.

nice

>> No.1105128

I thought it was to piss off a roommate or something, for lulz?

I forget. Old thread is old.

>> No.1105224

>>1105032
Will you be able to push a button and have the peen turn to you and start singing about dick sandwiches out of its peehole?

>> No.1105412

>>1105125
Of course

>>1105128
I'm sending it to my friend as a joke for his birthday. He's not expecting anything so it'll be a surprise when a gift shows up and dissapointed when it's just a giant dick. It's gonna be great.

>>1105224
That'd be incredible but I lack both the motivation and technical skill to do that

>> No.1105434

For a second I thought OP was the cocksmith. Kind of disappointed.

>> No.1105441
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1105441

>>1105434
Well not "the" cocks math but "a" cocksmith.

Keep up the good work bro! Making me proud young padawon.

>> No.1105461

>>1104738
you got a split in your cock

>> No.1105950

>>1105441
The cocksmith movement is metastasizing!

Cocks everywhere, from every material, for every purpose.

>> No.1106415

>>1105441
wow
I want to be a cocksmith too anon, please be my master!

>> No.1106514
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1106514

so why the hell is this thread still here...?

>> No.1106540

>>1105441
c:

>>1105461
I know, I'll have to do something to cover that up

>>1106514
Why wouldn't it be?
I'm gonna put the last vein on today or tomorrow, then it's time for sanding

>> No.1106607

>>1106514

It's /diy/ as fuck, m8.

>> No.1106632

>>1106607

its a sex toy. and against the board rules... butthole!

>> No.1106634
File: 1.93 MB, 2880x2160, 20161230_174036.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1106634

>>1106632
If you'd like to try using it as a sex toy then be my guest

Got the last vein done and it looks like shit. Oh well.

>> No.1106715
File: 271 KB, 1280x917, round_and_smooth_by_carvenaked-d304hgz.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1106715

>>1105950
>>1106415
>>1105441
>>1105434
>cock smith

The guy who draws SMBS has the last name Weinersmith. I wonder if he had a great great great ancestor who carved dildos.

>> No.1106722
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1106722

>>1106634
Final shapings-up. Probably.
I decided to change the shape of the last vein and I think it looks better now.

>> No.1106731

>>1106715
Doesn't weiner mean "from Vienna"

>> No.1106869
File: 1.94 MB, 2880x2160, 20161231_015555.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1106869

>>1106722
Alright, another bit of shaping. I added one more vein just for good measure, and then started sanding. It's not perfect yet but it's looking alright

>> No.1106953

Here in a nearby town they produce wooden ashtrays adorned with a large dick. Around 5-6in in length and a base with a bowl part for the ash.

>> No.1107063
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1107063

>>1106953
>5-6 inches
>large

pls

>> No.1107121

>>1106953
So the message people want to send when they buy these ash trays is, "I pump out dust"?

>> No.1107439 [DELETED] 

>>1104667
Why didn't anyone respond to this, it's fucking gold

>> No.1107443

I come across a lot of revolting things that'd be too weird for /d/ but somehow this makes me gag.

>> No.1107548

>>1107063
Big in Japan

>> No.1107858

>>1104666
No matter which board I go to on 4chan, there's always a dick thread.

Never change 4chan, never change.

Also how are you carving it?

>> No.1107980

>>1107858
Roughed out the general shape with a hatchet and knife, and the details were done by chisel. Sanding was done with sandpaper (obv)

I don't have a picture, but I've completed all the sanding I care to do. Next step will be the plaque.
Should I shape the plaque like nuts or just go for a generic plaque? My friends are telling me I should carve a big, saggy ballsack but I don't have it in me to do something like that

>> No.1107983

>>1107980
Id say make the plaque shaped like a figure 8, but very subtlety so it's not too obvious. And also do a nice bevel on the edges. I think it would be tongue in cheek

>> No.1108016

>>1107983
I like how you think. One thing I know I'm going to do is get an inscription that says "no homo" in really tiny lettering just above the base of the cock so you have to lean over in order to read it

>> No.1108095

>>1108016
Hahaha that's awesome. If you can you should get it engraved on a little piece of brass or something in a really pretty font. I think that'd tie it together nicely

>> No.1108112
File: 3.41 MB, 3840x2160, tmp_10516-DSC_00031997332820.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1108112

In germany you can buy wooden dicks in every supermarket.

>> No.1108113

>>1108112
We call those dildos, mate.

>> No.1108122

>>1108112
Whats the general/usual use of them (in Germany I mean) ? Why are they at the market ?

>> No.1108212

>>1108122
The bottle openers don't give it away ?

>> No.1108262

>>1106415
Rule number 1 of dickfarming. To think like a dick you have to "be" a dick.

>> No.1108916

>>1105441
>padawon.
I misread that as "Padawang"
I kind of wish I hadn't reread it to be sure...

>> No.1109131

>>1108095
That's what I'm planning. Iy'll be weird asking an engraver for an inscription saying "no homo" but it's worth it desu

>> No.1109249

>>1109131
Good call

>> No.1109261

>>1108112
>einführungspreis
>literally: insertion-price
>i cant even

>> No.1109758

>>1108212
The size of prize tag and the thickness of the pole makes them look huge.

>> No.1109855

>>1104738
>coming

>> No.1109864

Fifty-some posts into this thread and no one has mentioned that this is a gag gift? I'm a little disappointed, to be quite honest.

>> No.1109880

>>1109864

Because it isn't.

>> No.1109893

>>1109880
And yet it is, and it could be but probably isn't at the same time. It's the Schrodinger's cat of gifts.

>> No.1109952

>>1109893
Essentially it's recognising that the gay versions of ourselves would totally fuck, but we're not the gay versions of ourselves so we talk shit about it but wouldn't actually do it
So pretty gay, but not actually gay, but still kinda gay

>> No.1110094

>>1109952
just spitting out the wisdom man

>> No.1110407

>>1104667
Funny

>> No.1110426

>>1110094
>spitting
Weak desu

>> No.1110475

>>1104666

just when i thought 4chan couldn't get any gayer...

>> No.1110485

>>1104666
this is a finnish military tradition, carving cocks on training camps
it's called a campdick

>> No.1111033
File: 1.30 MB, 2880x2160, 20170106_171113.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1111033

I just realised that I forgot to post the fully sanded cock, so y'all go

>> No.1111034

>>1111033

A truly magnificent peen.

>> No.1111036

>>1111033
It's repulsive. I wouldn't want that anywhere near my home.
You can take this as a compliment.

>> No.1111285

>>1109864
It has been mentioned though

>> No.1111293

>>1111033
kek

>> No.1111294

>>1109864
I don't care. I'm just content knowing it exists, no matter what the reason.

>> No.1111626

>>1111034
>>1111036
>>1111294
Thank

I'm hoping to get at the plaque next weekend, after which I need to paint the dick and then mount it. No homo

>> No.1111640

>>1111294
You misunderstand. I'm only disappointed that no one had gone for the cheap, junior high joke, though I didn't read carefully enough, >>1111285 is correct. The peen I'm fine with, in fact it looks pretty good OP. How are you going to finish it, by the way? Hand rubbed lacquer? French polish? Tung oil?

>> No.1111697

>>1111033
Now you gotta sit on it

>> No.1112121

>>1111033
EBONY STAIN

>> No.1112243

>>1111640
You're a clever one
To answer your question about finishing, essentially >>1112121, though I think I'll paint it rather than stain it

>> No.1112680

>>1104666
Can you do this with flour and use it as a dildo? Or is that unsanitary.

>> No.1112980

>>1108122
cultural enrichment.

>> No.1113140

>>1108112
why are german woodcocks circumcised?

>> No.1114562

Bump because I'm not done here yet

>> No.1115175

>>1104899
The ol' knob on a stick.
Also, was /diy/ not a sanctuary from phalic things?

>> No.1115287

aren't you worried about splinters?

>> No.1115289

>>1106731
No, that would be Wiener. Weiner would be either be someone making wine or someone who cries a lot. Or a misspelling of Wiener.

>> No.1115290

>>1108112
>Einführungspreis 10,-
teehee

>> No.1115679
File: 82 KB, 500x375, knockonwood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1115679

It's a start.

>> No.1115683

>>1115175
>Also, was /diy/ not a sanctuary from phalic things?

No sex toys allowed.

Ostensibly, this is not a sex toy.

>> No.1115696

>>1115683

Not with that attitude, it isn't!

>> No.1115721

>>1109261

>> No.1115909

>>1109893
Schrodinger's dick

>> No.1115911
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1115911

>>1111626

>> No.1115912

>>1115289
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weiner,_Arkansas

>> No.1116037

>>1113140
theyre getting used to the new kids on the block

>> No.1116323

Thread the bottom of it and use it as a gear shift on a manual vehicle.

>> No.1116499

>>1116323
>threading wood

>> No.1116578

>>1115683
We have come full circle. It is now a sanctuary for phallic things

>>1115911
;^)

>>1116499
I'll thread your wood
no homo

>> No.1117747

>>1106869
you didnt make the mushroom tip big enough imo

>> No.1118519

>>1117747
Yeah that was a mistake on my part. Unfortunate but it is what it is now

>> No.1118906

>>1118519
It's a disgrace now. Put it in the chipper and start over.

>> No.1118908

>>1118906
why not work the shaft until the head gets bigger?

>> No.1119239

>>1118906
D:

>>1118908
kek

>> No.1119370

>>1104666
i was thinking of starting an etsy thing of handcarved wooden dildoes, but i was afraid of being sued over splinters/infections and didn't wanna spend my time handling dicks

let us know how this goes!

>> No.1120239

>>1112243
Paint it a different colour half way up

>> No.1120348
File: 60 KB, 722x481, wutjpg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1120348

>>1104666
OP you should move to Bhutan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus_paintings_in_Bhutan

https://www.google.nl/search?q=Bhutan+dick+cock+phallus&biw=1280&bih=610&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjttOicvdnRAhVJ2RoKHXF6BMsQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=1E2DE5y_UqOYQM%3A

>> No.1120435

>>1119370
Why would you get sued over someone misusing something you sold that was clearly labeled as a smooth, lubricant-compatible decoration clearly not intended for use?

>> No.1120439

>>1104666
Damn dude. Why the fuck does my daughter have splinters in her diaper?

>> No.1120441

Just have a recommendation telling the user to put a condom and lube on it

>> No.1120444

>>1104666

You a snow mongol?

>> No.1120907

>>1120435
>clearly not intended for intimate penetration?
ftfy

>> No.1120917

>>1104666
Pretty sure this is /diy/ a rule violation.

>> No.1120920

>>1104666
YOU SHOULD STICK IT ON A SNOWMAN. IN PUBLIC. SET UP A TRAIL CAM TO COLLECT REACTIONS OF PASSERBYS.

>> No.1120986
File: 15 KB, 420x296, clockwork-orange-penis.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1120986

what's the point if you don't murder women with it?

>> No.1121511

>>1116499
Ok shit nigger, drill a hole and put a threaded insert in.

>> No.1122596

>>1120441
This

>>1120444
Nope, but checked

>>1120917
you're face is a human rights violation

>> No.1122659

>>1104666
Are you fucking gay or suffer from tiny penis syndrome and need to compensate.

>> No.1123237

>>1122659
More likely we will read about OP in the news in a year or so. "Seventh Victim Comes Forward, FBI Names Serial Rapist Ultradick, Manhunt Continues"

>> No.1123414

>>1115911
I nominate this as the new /diy/ banner image

>> No.1124025

>>1122659
Neither desu
Dicks are just hilarious

>>1123237
>Ultradick
kek

>> No.1124130

>>1123414
I second this.

The look on my stepdad's face when i tell him i am not the only dickfarmer. Cocksmithing is here to stay.

Thank god for the internet

>> No.1124850

>>1104666
why?

>> No.1124882

>>1124850
Gift for his buddy.


No homo

>> No.1124922

>>1124850
Yeah this >>1124882

No homo

>> No.1126404

kyrpä

>> No.1127158
File: 679 KB, 557x557, 1485888948907.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1127158

>>1120348
>mfw I'll be in Tokyo when that penis festival is going to happen this April

>> No.1127303

>>1107063
What size penis do your ashtrays usually have then?

>> No.1127332

>>1115683
With enough lube, anything is a sex toy.

>> No.1127555

>>1127158
You sumbitch... as a fellow brother of op in this world of cocksmiths i request all the pics you can get. Particularly shit u see selling a lot. I have a friend in tokyo and as uncomfortable as asking her to handle dicks she would probably do it.

Have fun faggot.

>> No.1127593

>>1111033
does anyone you know know about this?

>> No.1127693

>>1127593
Yes, everyone in this thread knows about OP's project.
May I suggest you read the very first post at the top of the page?

>> No.1127712

>>1104666
Why has this taken you so long? Carving something like this should be a weekend project at most.

That doesn't even look like a dick. More like some kind of animal horn, or thick stalked mushroom.

>> No.1127938

>>1127712
Well... it is a thick stalked mushroom..

>> No.1128002

Hey op is this shit done yet?

>> No.1128381

>>1128002
we will know when he tells us.

>> No.1128592

>>1128381
Bumping glorious unsupervised dick threads

>> No.1129371

bump for keks

>> No.1129423

bumping for dicks

>> No.1129500

What tool are you using to sculpt this dick? I was thinking about making a staff with a sculpting dick on top of it for the best player of my campain of pathfinder as the reward.
Currently I'm trying to make one with gouge and wood scissors

>> No.1130478

>>1127303
8 inches ;)

>>1127593
Most people I have any real contact with know about it. It's funny to hear my friends ask how my dick is coming along

>>1127712
>>1128002
>>1128381
It's taking a while due to school work taking precedence, plus I have difficulty staying motivated with projects like this so apologies if updates aren't frequent

>>1129500
Axe for rough shaping, knife for finer work, and chisels for detail work. And obviously sandpaper for smoothing it. Wouldn't want any splinters now would we? :^)

>> No.1130479

>>1130478
>>1129500
For carving it on a staff I'd recommend foregoing the axe and hopping straight into the knifework. You'll want a small, round, straight chisel rather than a gouge for the details. One might be useful if you want to do veins, but I found it was usually better without

>> No.1130513

>>1109864
I dick that size would have anybody gagging

>> No.1130515
File: 18 KB, 199x253, lataus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1130515

google image search; leiri kyrpä

wooden dicks are what we make in finnish army when there is nonthing else to do

>> No.1130643
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1130643

>>1120986

>> No.1130927
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1130927

>>1130515
Bless u anon

>> No.1132035

Bump

>> No.1132188
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1132188

>>1132035

>> No.1133415

Hoping to get at the plaque today