/diy/ - Do It Yourself

>>811250
>be working at menards, standing on ladder to slide lumber into bin(head office is in town so have to follow policy usually used a pallet of shingles instead)
>hear a screeching tires. Coworker comes flying around corner in reverse, doesn't see me till last minute
> oh shit.jpeg jump off ladder and land on ass end of forklift just as he hits the ladder and smashes it in the lumber racking

>again menards, be putting water heaters away in pallet racking. Proceed to put away. Get one on shelf and then decking comes out from underneath me
>fall about 4 feet before harness and lanyard catch me. Proceed to catch several water heaters with my body.

>agian menards.
Deck load got returned from delivery. Asshole driver snapped all the bands loading back up.
>does shit job strapping it down. Shit slides all over on way back.
> shits all fucked up I gotta unstack it all and load it on my lift to get it back into stock.
> start unstacking and loading. While facing front of lift and back to the pile. A whole stack of 2x12x20s tips and catches me in the back of the knees and pins me into a kneeling position against the lumber on my lift.
>proceed to calmly call for assistance on the radio.
>what? Yall rushed out like I was dying. I'm just stuck.

I'm still surprised the worst thing I ever got there was a broken finger and that was my own doing.

>Asked about a hole in my office window that had been there when I started. Apparently after work staff were drinking and messing around with firearms in the lunch room(not that uncommon in those days here). One guy forgets his is loaded accidentally discharges it across the room, through the window, across the driveway, through both sides of a ute then into my office. never quite felt so safe there again

>>811250
constant sonic booms, like a half hour apart some days and lost time.

>>811342

>>811250
Nothing real amazing
>working retail
>lots and lots of rain that isnt stopping
>old store in an old shopping center, the parking lot for all the other stores is a decent slope towards my store
>flooded the front of the store
>over an inch of water from sliding front door, past the checkouts, past the pharmacy, into the cosmetics.
>was like my 3rd week on the job
>for 2 days everyone working stock took shopvacs to get water up

It was back in 07 or so and there was a lot of flooding around here from extremely heavy rain.
Sucked

>>811342
OooOoOOooo You're so fucking mysterious and cool.
No one is going to suck your cock and say OH MY GOD THATS SO COOL PLEASE TELL ME MORE.

Tell your fucking story properly or shut the fuck up.

>>811250
>Work at a University Chemistry Stockroom
>TA feels like shit, makes his way to us hoping for some help
>Get him seated, give water and crap, call campus 911
>Watch as guy starts to deteriorate, "Fuck I think he's having a stroke."
>Campus cop shows, treats guy like you could a shop lifter and eventually calls for an ambulance after giving the guy shit.
>Turns out the guy had a stroke. 30 year old guy had a serious stroke right in front of me.

>>811373
A few years before that.
>Changing gas cylinder, removing regulator, damn adjustable wrench gets stuck.
>Tug and wiggle wrench, suddenly comes off and smashes me in face.
>Blood everywhere and face pain, just think "Fuck it is going to be expensive as hell to get new teeth and fix my nose"
>Wash blood off in bathroom, see bloody star "crack" in face go to campus health center to get patched up.
>Nothing seems broken, pass up X-Rays because for whatever odd reason I would have to go off campus. Patched up, walk back, bleed again, get patched up again.
>A week later, swelling down, touch side of nose next to where wrench hit, hear and feel snapping.
>Felt my way up my nose and realize the cartilage on one side detached from my skull but is in place.
>Figure Docs won't do much, nasal plastic surgery seems to be bust shit and put the pieces together and let it heal, works out that I don't sleep on detached side.
>Weeks later all snapping stops, seems healed.
Fuck Westard brand wrenches, never had an adjustable wrench tighten like those during use. Fucking chinese wrenches at a premium wrench price. Bought my own wrench to use.

Mines is funny more than brutal

>working security in night club on weekends
>walk in for late shift
>wander out onto dance floor
>notice liquid flowing down past my feet
>oh someone spilled a pint
>follow it to the source
>guy is standing in the middle of the dance floor, cock in hand pissing on the floor with about 10 of his friends casually chatting around him
>as we drag him out his friends try to say he just split his pint.

not job but at technical college for machining
>have haas lathe with hydraulic chuck lock on it
>hydraulics activated by foot pedal
>guy trying to pry chuck off of machine
>accidently the lever
>grape squished all his fingers
>his fingertips exploded out the front
>i got to see him get wheeled out.
>dubious of machine till i graduate

>>811395
>Pissing on the dance floor.
>Ha ha, y'all are dancing in my piss!
Should've drug him by his feet through the puddle.

>>811250
I watched a senior employee and a manager of a Wal-Mart lift a baler onto a flatbed using two basic forklifts.

>>811355
You seem angry for some reason. Whats on your mind buddy?

>>811341
45 stronk

>>811250
Not job-related, but while doing a practical class involving wiring and running three phase motors in my uni, someone was playing with a screwdriver, and eventually put it inside a little hole on top of the shaft, while to motor was running. The screwdriver got stuck and began to spin as it hit the table, making a lot of noise, before flying off and hitting the roof.
Someone could've lost an eye, but we all laughed about it.

>>811373
>Campus cop
It's like a rule that they have to be fucking retarded assholes.

>>811513
sounds like you would fit right in then

>>811699
Whoa brah, that's pretty harsh m80.

>>811452
>uni
>inserts screwdriver in hole of running 3-phase motor

- wtf is a Darwin candidate like that doing in a Uni? I'd have retreived the screwdriver and inserted somewhere a bit more personal than the roof, just out of principle.

>>811706
He probably didn't think it could get stuck, but I have to recognize some of them behave like they're still in high school.

>>811257
Menards has a well desreved reputation as one of the most dangerous big boxes to work in

>>811341
Pussy

>work at JSC NASA
>first civilian-designed rocket engine on testbed being tested in the tall dry grass field next to my building
>look out window
>flames errywhere
>building evacuated

>>811399
>>guy trying to pry chuck off of machine

Lockout, tagout, never fuck around.

>>811341
office pop

>>811399
only haas I've seen had manual chuck

>working on a large extruder cleaning the magnet drawers that catch metal particulate before the material actually goes into the extruder
>the melt pump had a wire that burnt through and started arc flashing and shooting out blue lighting 2 feet from me.
>shit britches and wait for death.
>co worker rushes and turns it off before the 480v kills me
funny thing was I had just cleaned that melt pump not even 5 mins before that, so I'd have definitely died.

Used to cut meat... nicked fingers often on band saw... this one dumb fuck would never use gloves and got some fucked up fungus....

frozen deliveries left out at night than refroze and sold....

we restrained a "customer" (not me) as a citizen arrest.. he would fill cart with ribs and tenderloin and run out the door.

>>811829
if you followed lotto that would of never happened

>>811834
I had a boss that was ~90 and had lost his middle and ring finger to one of those when he was like 20. He told me the story of how he was working and slipped, lost 2 fingers, so he wrapped it in a towel threw the fingers in the trash and kept working the rest of the day.

The 40's seem like a much more hardcore time. I aspire to be him.

>working homo depot
>getting down pallets of ramboard with the overhead reach
>pallet snaps in half, not side not perfectly centered tilts and spills rolls of the shit falling the ~20 feet onto the floor, hooray we followed procedure and had the aisles closed off so no harm there.
>other half is centered at first and not falling until the weight of the other side exiting causes that half to bobble and tilt. that half falls and knocks a dozen or so mulch bags off the pallet they're sitting on before rolling to a stop.
>instant pee test for the driver
>spend next two hours cleaning up mulch and fixing the broken boxes of ramboard into something presentable on the sales floor.

not all that crazy, i know, could've been a lot worse

>>811513
True.

Got three stories, two related to the thread and one to your post

>nicest park in town is attached the to the college campus
>campus police occasionally patrol it
>walking my dog there the other day
>he stops and squats to take a shit
>already have the dog shit bag wrapped around my hand
>suddenly campus cop comes walking up to me and tells me I better clean that up
>just raise my hand with the bag on it
>he hovers over me with his arms across his chest while I pick it up
>"now throw it out"
>tell him to settle the fuck down
>follows me to the garbage can
>"good now make sure I never see you leaving dog shit in my park."
>starts to walk away
>tell him to make sure I never see him outside of that park
>get told to leave
>don't
>nothing happens for the next hour I'm there

2
>working in a Factory in upstate NY packing milk into boxes
>the boxes weigh 50lbs
>busting my ass on a 6 hour shift because they have both bagging machines running at full speed
>floor supervisor comes over and messes with the labeling machine about two hours in
>three hours later he comes back livid as fuck at us
>apparently "someone" put the wrong lot number on the boxes
>they slow the line down a bit and yank three of us off of it
>the three of us have to unwrap, re-label, and move 1300+ 50lb boxes onto new pallets
>fat Puerto Rican forklift driver refuses to help and just sits there heckling us in broken English
>shift takes 14 fucking hours
>get a parking ticket because of this

3
>auto tech in high schoo
>kid is grinding something
>gets told to put his damn safety glasses on
>seconds later something breaks off and gets sent flying right at his face
>shatters his safety glasses
>some other kid got his hand caught in a grinder a class over and his finger ripped off
>my buddy picked it up in shock before realizing what it was and dropping it then running off to go vomit
>one of the teachers in the other class had his hand down in an engine bay and one of his borderline
cont

>>811934
>retarded students is fucking around inside the car
>turns it on
>teachers hand gets sucked into one of the gears on the serpentine belt
>has to be rushed to the ER
>only has 20% function in that hand now

I also saw someone in that class start up a car with no oil in it and drive it out into the parking lot. Then he proceeded to try and do a burn out.

With a customer car.

>>811751
kek

>Be working as a line therapist for kids with autism
>Autistic boy with OCD has a meltdown because none of the therapists will repeat his TV talking
>Give him some head pressure when he asks for it
>Bring out the weighted blanket to make a makeshift hug device
>Kid kicks in my the bottom right side of my jaw
>Knocks out two entire molars
>Blood seeping out of mouth with ringing in ears
>Kid is like sorry sorry and I'm about to choke him out
>Restrain emotions and get workers comp

And that's how I quit. Ladies love the missing teeth.

>>811947
>line therapist
What is that?

>>811935
teacher left the keys in the car?
keep keys for things you are working on in your pocket.

>>811973
They were in the office on a rack. For whatever reason this retard decided he needed to take them and do something.

I swear the classes were divided based on the aptitude test we took. Most the people in my class won top of the trade at least once and we all passed the final 5 tests we had to take. The other class constantly needed help by having one go us come over and teach those retards how to turn a brake drum or rotor or how to do an alignment. If anything broke, it was in that class. Hell, one kid drove his shitbox rice mobile off of a goddamn lift because he decided to start it and let off the clutch while leaving it in gear (it had a vacuum leaked and the RPM spiked ass soon as he let off of it).

>>811952
A person who goes to peoples houses and helps family members who have certain disorders, in this case autism.

>>811250
>be tutoring a hot 3.14 student during final thesis
>works hard and is doing really well, no need to kiss up for grade
>each meeting the skirt is shorter, décolleté deeper
>during meetings, ranging boner and damn it anon, don't stare at her tits instead of work
Sure, tits are nice to look at, but I am also just trying to get my job done and go home to my wife and kids, and this snotty chick is making it more difficult for me
>made sure there is always a colleague present,
>got so bad & obvious that the proper authorities had to be notified
>had to request in presence of witnesses that she dresses more business like from now on

pic related

>>811978
oh, okay. Never heard the expression before.
Thanks for the explenation!

>>811979
>tutoring hot 3.14
Dessert in clothing is my fetish.

>>811947
I've worked with low functioning autistic kids. They really are dangerous. It's 100x worse after they reach puberty and suddenly have the strength of a gorilla, matched with the temperament of a blind feral cat.

>>811999
Here's a story I heard from an OT

>severely mentally retarded kid, 14 years old
>basically a feral animal, no walking, no talking, nothing
>kid is in school because mother is all like:
>"what if muh baby wakes up from being a retard and asks me why I didn't teach him the ABCs"
>anyways, kid gets his own classroom because he is extremely dangerous
>school has therapist working with him because they have to try something or mother will flip her shit
>kid regulatory goes ape mode
>one day flips out more than usual
>takes two large (200+lbs) grown men just to hold kid back from killing himself or therapist
>by the end of it, one of the guys is a bloody mess with deep scratches because feral boy has claws
>and they still have to 'teach' this kid

>Be sitting on a slab putting on some expansion
>Hear someone yell
>Look up to see the steel man about half way between the trusses and the slab
>The mother fucker tries to grab everything on the way down, leaves a boot print on a column
>Hits the slab, bounces, and gets back up
>Guy was a little shaken but he laughed it off

It was about 10-12 feet. He missed the edge of the slab by about a foot. If he would of hit it he would of been fucked.

>>811435
hes right.

>>811992
Fucking hell. Now I'm thinking of a fresh, oven baked pie with the metal encasing getting shorter and shorter down the side.

Thanks for the stories, /diy/.

>>811918
they were but all they would of done at the hospital would be wrapping the stubs up there was no finger reattachment surgery he would of also been out of his job for getting hurt too

>work in machine shop with horizontal mills that move back and forth on steel conveyors. Tables are stationary
>company shipped in a junk 25 layed down on flat bed semi for parts (table was 25' long)
>standing 3 feet from flatbed brainstorming safest way to use 2 -10 ton overhead hoist to remove from flat bed
>driver removed 2 of the 6 3/8" chains that strapped it to trailer
>load must have shifted in transit, machine that is as big as semi trailer rolls at me and 2 other workers snapping all remaining chains.
>causes semi trailer to lift wheels off ground on opposite side because of weight.
>destroys concrete floor but we made it out unscathed

>>811342
I want to believe

I have a million crazy stories from the chAir Force. One of the earliest:

>be in hanger, training
>huge 35'-ish tall A-frame laying disassembled on ground
>CE guys come in with civ contractors and 100K fork lift to assemble A-frame
>lift one side of frame up with goal of bolting it to the floor upright (this thing is made of inch+ thick I-beam)
>Fork lift raised tines to the limit
>A-frame side is ass-hair away from being upright but no more "up" on fork lift
>guys decide to give it slight push with forklift so maybe it will sit upright
>clown contractors didn't chain it to tines
>huge A-frame slips off tines and topples over
>helacious racket as giant A-frame clatters to ground
>shit pants
>ears ring for the next hour or so

>>811250
>hog tied with tie wire by iron workers

Does not sound pleasant

>>811342
>>811999
>strength of a gorilla, matched with the temperament of a blind feral cat.

kek

>>811999
fucking lol


great stories all around. worst for me is a few years ago
>working in rubber washer factory
>food-grade lathe cut washers
>guy reaches under guard to adjust blow-down nozzle that moves the washers down the arbor
>doesnt take into account the claw holding the rubber onto the arbor
>claw raps against his knuckles, taking off three fingers before he can remove meat hook
>250k lathe headstock damaged, thousands in food-grade rubber tainted, week halt on three machines that he sprayed blood on/around
>work next to machine for rest of week, blood still visible on bottom of lathe bed
>quit 1 month later cause shit pay and go to college
>senior in computer science field
>not goin back to factory work

at least ive been there. most of my colleagues do not understand what factory work is, nor the physical demand, nor the feeling of working for your money

> work in a maximum security women's prison

Enough said. The shit these crooks get up to is insane. Betting on spider fights, faking heart attacks, lesbian love triangles, smuggling stuff in inside their pussies, every day a new, hilarious story.

>>812652
well then share

>Working at Lockheed Martin
>Our project finally gets a delivery of a full SAN, this about the size of a large refrigerator except it is completely full of harddrives so it weighs a fuckton.
>Receiving dept guys consider themselves not paid well enough to take responsibility for moving this $1.6M piece of equipment off of the truck.
>EMC sends us a shitty plywood wedge type ramp to wheel it off with (seriously?).
>3 of the software guys who are part of the gun show have to get this monster off of the truck.
>Start wheeling it off, its so goddamn heavy that the wheels explode right through the ramp and now the entire SAN is in this position /-/ on the ramp and everyone on the dock jumps into position to stabilize this fucker.
>As it sits there the weight of it starts to slowly break apart the structure of the wedge ramp.
>Try to use a pallet jack to lift it up, pallet jack seizes due to weight, eventually like 10 people manage to scoot this fucker off the truck with the wedge falling apart.
>Fuck EMC

>>812762
Were they like that just for transport or was that the final assembly? What were they to run in their final configuration?

>>812765
That's how they send them, ready to run minus some extra work to connect them to others. was a shit show.
> Extra bonus, once we finally got it moving down the hallway it tore up 50 feet of carpet tiles in the main hallway and bent every doorway floor boot thing we went over.
>It's not uncommon to have to wear 5 different hats there to get anything done on time.

>>812767
How much memory does one of those hold?

Some construction stories.

>be working as foreman
>Contracted framer crew likes rigging the safeties on their nailguns so that ramming it up against the stud is enough to trigger it.
>explain that it makes work faster
>"oh well, not my problem"
>One day nailgun slides off roof
>swings by the hose, like a pendulum into lower part of the house.
>sends a 3-inch nail into the kneecap of one of the framers.
>nail is so deep that you can barely see the head.
>guy can't move his leg, sitting on 2nd floor of unfinished frame, no safety harness of course.
>Pulls the nail out of his knee with claw hammer, duct tapes the entry wound, goes home to get drunk.
>misses two days of work while his leg swells up like a balloon.
>everything fine after that.

>>812775
Another one.
>be 8 am, picking up some supplies for a build,
>bump into another guy from the same framing crew.
>"Hey anon, wanna see something funny?"
>Sure.jpeg
>Tells me to follow his car for a few blocks to nearby build he was just at.
>House has three cop cars with lights on, ambulance just pulling away.
>Bunch of people on front lawn
>Walls and siding look all sorts of fucked up, bulging out and twisted
>Fist impression is that some sort of explosion went off inside.
>"No anon, they used shitty lumber"
>wat?gif
>"See, what happened was, they bought uncured lumber for a quarter of the price from some Canadian company"
>"Told us to use it for the frame, despite us protesting that shit would go wrong."
>"House got finished, expensive hardwood floors inside too."
>"New owners moved in, turned on the heat for the first time"
>"After a day or so, all the beams in the floors and studs in the walls started to cure and warp"
>"The hardwood floor planks started to snap off hard enough to put holes in the ceiling.
>"They thought it was gunshots at first"
That company had to replace almost the entire inside finish, much of the frame, and redo all the siding.

>>812775
And none of them were intelligent enough to use guns with a bump fire setting? Or were they stuck under some safety regulation prohibiting those in which case fucking with the safety like that should've been grounds for immediate GTFO.

>>812780
Heh.

No direct stories of my own but I did get to overhear my foreman today rip into a highschool co-op for sitting on the floor shooting the shit about 15 min before lunch.

>>812652
>Betting on spider fights

...is this a metaphorical phrase, some kind of slang, or should I be reading this literally?

>>812772

'Bout 1.2 jiggabytes.

>>812772
Not him, but I guess several petabytes

>>811751
It's shit like this I think of when people use the expression "it's not rocket science." NASA is basically run by Kerbals.

>expensive piece of custom radio test equipment shipped in from america
>hundreds of thousands of pounds
>contractor performs drop test to check how robust it is
>destroys it

>>812772
not him, actual capacity depends on raid configuration etc.
for raw capacity lets say it was a room height 19" rack with ~42 RU, and one HDD enclosure with 3RU holds 14x 3,5" HDDs
so we have 196 HDDs
for lets say 2TB HDDs its 392TB, not that much for that size.. could use 2,5" then its a different story

>Running the baler on pic related.
>Have to brace against seat to depress clutch.
>One day fail to engage gear
>At top of 'gentle' slope
>Shit brakes
>Handbrake does not work anyway
>So, no brakes
>Cannot engage gear because too bouncy to brace to depress clutch
>Speed intensifies ~20mph
>Keep it pointed straight because rollover
>Bounce, swing, bounce...
>Total fear.jpg
>Opposite headland slopes up
>Slow and turn before 15ft deep ditch
>Turn off engine, get out and have a quiet moment.

>>813075
Did you then get your fucking deathtrap fixed..?

>>812762
Reminds me of fish tank ways guys. The geek wants to send out a 3 ton tank and the shipping guy is all wtf, my forklift is only rated for 1.5T. "that's just a suggestion"

All he had to do was review his shipping manifests and see oh, holy fuck its 5T and we only have a 1.5T forklift. Better get a 5T rented for that day.

>>813078
He's a farmer, of course not, they love having deathtraps like that, they run in the family.

>be online poker pro
>be playing holdem 5/10 (1000$ buyin)
>have AK, openraise
>V reraises (3bet), I reraise (4bet), he goes allin (5bet), I call
> shows QQ i.e. we lose unless A or K
> Flop nothing
> Turn nothing
> River = A
> yiss. noice 1k$ ill take it.
> watch the animation
> 2x 1k in chips unify to 2k$
> in awe of expectation
> chipstack moves to my opponent
> mfw
> take a closer look
> Im holding K4.
> mfw

>Working as a welder putting up roof trusses for large steel building company.
>On a job in NM
>Work with four Indian guys (tomahawk). All really athletic and tan as fuck from working outside
>INS comes onto jobsite starts ordering dudes who are darker skinned to present papers.
>Gets ignored by indian guys.
>INS guy says if he has to come up there he will and they will regret it.
>Daniel Whitekiller (Yes, that no shit was his name) Yells "WE will, regret it?!? Oh FUCK YOU DUDE!"
>INS guy says "I'm gon git you illegal mesicans off the jobsite" with a smirk
>All four of them freak out and do some James Bond shit.
>Indian guys basically belay themselves FACE DOWN the steel upright supports...FAST
>Think like a fireman down a firepole only face first and but it is a fucking steel beam.
>Right when they reached the bottom, somehow flip over to their feet without missing a step and run up to this guy.
>Thatjustfuckinghappened.webm
>They just slid down 55 feet of red iron, face first, to yell at this motherfucker.
>Wow...
>So daredevil Indians that got called "mesicans" Start yelling at INS dude and shoving BIA cards in his face and knife handing.
>Remember that Kevin was a drill instructor.
>INS Guy's eyes are huge as these four angry athletic guys are all waving BIA cards, knife handing and shouting as he backpedals.
>Gets back in his truck and leaves while these guys are still yelling shit.
>Indian guys crawl back up to roof like nothing happened and bust ass for another 8 hours.

Saw that INS guy a year later drive up to a jobsite, look around the roof and saw Daniel who saw him and Daniel pointed at him. INS guy just turned around and left.... fucking hilarious.

That and the guy who grounded his nuts welding a steel beam and fell 15 feet into a deep snow bank. Sparks shot out his sack and I saw it.

>>813093
>forced to tell poker stories on an anonymous image board because they are so embarrassing.

>>813098
>Daniel Whitekiller
I love it when Indians fuck with rednecks.

I worked as a special education assistant and doubled as a short bus attendant.

The craziest shit that happened on the bus is I had one asian kid who would sit in the back, and seemingly plank the seat.

>he was literally fucking the seat
>it even had a tear/hole in it
>he busted a nut every day
>We never made him stop because his father was abusive and didn't want to ever have to have any official confrontation.


Within the actual school the craziest normie thing was a fatass being bullied into climbing into a ventilation duct within the girls bathroom.

He didn't get very far because the entire ceiling fucking collapsed.

For the actual tards it was probably one of them running while simultaneously pissing and shitting down the hall while wearing some native american headdress and screaming a pronouncement that he was in fact the real slim shady

I worked as a special education assistant and doubled as a short bus attendant.

The craziest shit that happened on the bus is I had one asian kid who would sit in the back, and seemingly plank the seat.

>he was literally fucking the seat
>it even had a tear/hole in it
>he busted a nut every day
>We never made him stop because his father was abusive and didn't want to ever have to have any official confrontation. Just personally confronting him seemed too fucking awkward for me and the driver to ever do so we just let someone else deal with the spooge problem in the lot later on.


Within the actual school the craziest normie thing was a fatass being bullied into climbing into a ventilation duct within the girls bathroom.

He didn't get very far because the entire ceiling fucking collapsed.

For the actual tards it was probably one of them running while simultaneously pissing and shitting down the hall while wearing some native american headdress and screaming a pronouncement that he was in fact the real slim shady

>navy

>CIA busts up terror cell
>they had pictures of our ship

>transiting Straits of Hormuz
>smugglers on jetskis going from Oman to Iran
>ten of them break off from the main group
>assume delta formation
>aimed at our ship
>ramming speed
>light em up with deck-mounted 50 cals

>in Persian Gulf
>Iran claims water as theirs
>not internationally recognized
>contested water
>captain wants to hang out there
>Iranian missile boats scramble
>"whats that hissing sound in the radios"
>"targeting radar"
>damcon stations tiem
>my damcon station is in forecastle
>know combat doctrine
>captain will try to take missile in the forecastle
>ponder dick

>first day on the job
>watch officer
>call from helicopter
>"we need winds"
>no idea how to get winds
>"how long do I have guys"
>start looking for wind calculator
>"in 90 seconds we'll have to ditch"
>fuck
>$15M helicopter, 2 pilots
>I make an educated guess
>come 5° to port
>"how are winds now"
>"pretty good"
>helicopter lands
>I call XO
>he hands me the wind calculator

>indonesian earthquake
>400,000 dead
>go there to help
>indonesian navy sends warships to intercept
>I have to explain on the radio
>why they shouldn't open fire

>doing earthquake aid
>someone puts rendezvous at 60°E long
>meant 61°E
>we're 60 miles off
>middle of deep dark indian ocean
>surrounded by washed-out city
>100,000 bloated, shark-gnawed corpses

>Straits of Malacca
>busiest straits in the world
>freighters like cars on the highway
>aircraft carrier decides to do air ops
>in the middle of the fucking straits
>turns 360 degrees looking for winds
>km-long freighters trying desperately to not hit

>modloc in the middle of the ocean at night
>other navy ship decides to play sub hunt
>dragging a drogue behind it
>decide to do circles around my ship
>CPA 200 yards
>terrified their drogue will catch in my propeller
>call captain
>captain calls admiral
>admiral calls other ship captain
>tells him to stop being a fucking cowboy

>be cargo pilot, drop stuff off in shitty field in el salvador
>couple hours to kill waiting for new cargo to arrive so get coffee at a cafe on the airport
>small team of red bull stunt pilots out practicing for airshow that weekend
>end of runway drops off into large and very deep rocky gorge
>red bull pilot finishes stunt and swoops in to land for the day
>engine quits right over gorge, extra 3000 wings are not glider wings
>stalls drops, drops like a rock. Fucker disapeared right down the canyon
>tfw only suffered a broken arm
It seems these dudes go out with absolute min fuel necessary to complete their performance, saves weight. This guy just stayed out literally 5 seconds longer thanhe should have. Also hella props to el salvadorian search and rescue. They were airborne in literelly a minute from the alarm. Real professional too

>>812775

... was this in Missouri?

>Working with a buddy of mine building a detached garage
>Has a bolt in the guard of his skilsaw
>Hey, whats that for?
>It so I can lock the guard in the up position when I use it but pull it out when OSHA inspects
>Isn't it bad to bypass the safety?
>Nah, its fine.

2 year later he got a huge gash in both thighs when he uses that saw to ripcut a strip off some OSB. He stumbled on some debris while walking the saw up the board and fell on his ass. The saw hit him in the leg and 'walked' across both thighs. He passed out twice; once from the pain and later from blood loss on the way to the hospital. It put a kerf in both thigh bones but didn't go all the way through. It took four surgeries to put him back together and three years of physical therapy before he could walk without a cane or brace. He'll never be 100% but his functional.

>Construction worker here, particularity masonry and landscaping.
>Be third generation of family working
>Everyone else is illegal mexicans or family-friends.
>We were the highest awarded company in California/west coast, doing residential projects, million dollar homes, etc
>Let me tell you the bullshit that happens.

>Landscapers on site, using a crane to move trees into holes over house.
>Lift large palm tree high in the air, over house
>Hits power line with crane.
>Drop tree on roof
>Crane is on fire
>One of the barely 18yo Mexicans is in a hole crying
>Next!
>Working with our cement mixer, to pour a small hard to reach patio area.
>Tossing in shovels of gravel, watering down mix
>Another guy is opening cement bags and putting them in mixer
>This guy is my dad's pot dealer, is 60+ year old navy guy, won't stop talking 90% of the time, claims to have invented the way submarines go backwards and is an old guitar guy
>He is putting a half bag of cement in mixer
>Bag gets caught on rotating blades
>Bag gets wrapped around his hand
>Starts to get pulled up
>I pull him out of the mixer before his arm tears off
>Lucky only a break, isn't healed for 6+ months.
>Next!
>Skinniest, angriest, shittiest Mexican ever puts shovel in same machine to get the shit stuck on the back while its on
>Machine grabs hold of worker, takes him for two flips, slams him on ground
>Laugh.
>Get into fist fight
>Guess who got fired~ :D

I got some more, perhaps not as exciting.

>>813088

I worked for a Rancher. If you ever used the parking brake on a tractor or truck and he caught you, he would fire you. EVEN IF YOU HAD TO PARK ON A FUCKING HILL!

Story time - no danger just funny as fuck

>Be haying in the summer, working on the dump rake behind a JD 4010.
>Be jack knifing the 42' rack through a 30' gate
>try to back up after getting the rake part way through
>tire turns back half a turn and looks solid
>try it again, same issue
>unhook it, pull forward and no problem, bring in the other rake tractor and finish the job on a tractor that is half as nimble despite being half the size.

Turns out the tractor was on its original brakes still (1970's era tractor in 2010) and one of the rotors snapped in half. Going forward wouldn't have any issue, but when you backed up it would lock against the nonexistant brake pads. I wish I had pictures to show you just how fucked these brakes were.


The dumb part. My boss only fixed the one side too. So one side was rebuilt, new bearings, new brake rotor, new pads (all six of them) and what not. The other side, the same condition the other was in before it broke.


On the plus side, it really cut better going to the right.
All his tractors were like that. When the rear main seal went and it started puking oil. He just kept tossing in more oil and lucas oil to slow the leak. He did that for a year before I quit.

>>813305
Had a friend whos family owned an 'operating ranch.' I worked for them for a summer. ONE summer.

>Middle of fucking nowhere so no utilities. Everything is generators and water tanks and hillbilly shit.
>Shown the 'generator barn'. 20 large generators stacked up like firewood. Some labeled Craftsman from the 1950s and shit and mounted in trailers. Some old army deals.
>Ask how many run?
>None.
>All busted, generally because of being overloaded or not maintained properly. No less than 8 of them the engines were fried because they ran them without changing the oil often enough/at all.

>One day see the "back field"
>Row upon row of old trucks, all fucked to hell
>Truck breaks down and its more than 10 years old? Drag it to the field and buy a new one.
>80 years worth of International and Dodge pickups, dozens of them.
>Kids want to go in the back and beat the shit out of them with 2x4s and set shit on fire? Sure, whatever.

>Wander into the 'woodshop' one day.
>Full sized woodshop. Every machine I've every heard of plus many others.
>Everything is coated in a huge thick layer of dust.
>Whats the story with this?
>Granddad's (not sure how many greats in front of that) old woodshop, used it to build furniture and most of the older homes on the site. No ones used it since he died.
>When did he die?
>1962.

>Most of the family lives in double wides, only the oldest live is what I would call houses. Generally because they were born in them.
>Shittones of houses on the property though, all packed with junk of all types.
>Why doesn't anyone live in the houses?
>Ah, they are all fucked. Bad wiring, weird floorplans, drafty as shit, no insulation, no drains
>No drains??
>Yeah, no one wanted to dig a septic tank so they just drained everything but the toilets under the houses so all the foundations are fucked too. The toilets run downhill a bit and just empty out on the ground.

Thats just the tip if the iceberg of their stupid shit.

>>813098
this is comedy gold

>>811379
99% of Chinese made tools suck dick, and they're inherently dangerous.

>>813098
>the guy who grounded his nuts
Why were they exposed? Also, ow

>>813117
>screaming a pronouncement that he was in fact the real slim shady

>>813357
Nuts are always just hanging there. And they're usually a bit moist and salty, the perfect conductor.

>>813361
Did they ground through his pants? And why not his foot?

>be in the navy
>dumbass steps on line
>line splits and grabs him by the boot
>grown ass man goes through a bit, legs first
>he's now practically legless rocketing towards the side of the ship.
>boatswains mate of the boat jumps into action, cuts rope
>tense rope snaps back and almost kills him

Tl;dr watched a dude almost die for saving a soon to be nugget sliding at like 30 mph.

>>813362
I assume he had boots on, made of rubber, or at least rubber soles. If you're straddling a steel beam, your nuts are as close to steel as your feet, but the nuts are closer to the arc than your feet, and there's no rubber between the nuts and the steel.

>>811811
if the guy was sitting it would be a desk pop...

So I was working as a logger in Alaska, helicopter logging. Helo comes in, choker chokes the tree, helo pulls log into the air, choke slips off the log, falls 80 get or so. Wide eyed choker flattened into a human pancake less than 20 get from me. (I had to literally scrape up what was left of him and hike back to camp with this guy ina bucket.

Working as security at a huge world famous bar. Told a midget to leave the bar for instigating fights with normal sized people. Female midget btw. She runs to her car, flies up to the entrance of the building and continues to instigate a fight. This time with me. Tell her to leave before I call the police, manager butts in tells her I'm being nice and basically to get the fuck out of here. Midget lunges and attached herself much like a child would, wraps herself around managers leg. I couldn't break her little midget grip. Pepper sprayed the shit out of said midget.


Working on the oil fields of Alaska, walking well house to well house on the pad. (Hard to explain but the pad is elevated off the tundra by 6 feet or so. Wintertime. Polar bear stalks me as I check well pressures. Cross pad to check next row. Polar bear climbs onto pad and begins running at me. Thankfully Co worker in the truck at the pad entrance stops jerking off long enough to notice my predicament. Puts truck between me and the bear at the last moment. Jump in jail ass with beat in pursuit.


I've got tons more. Haven't even delved into the fucked up shit I saw as a combat medic in the early 2000's.

Get=feet. Jail=haul. Stupid auto correct....

>>813408
Hahaha where in Alaska was the bar?

If it was in Fairbanks I might know the bar you're talking about.

>>813141
> real talk

Fascinating shit man, any more?

>>813408
>Pepper sprayed the shit out of said midget.
kek

>working on research ship
>up in the Arctic Circle, no people for hundreds of miles around in any direction
>sailing along, get low on supplies, put in a request for more
>2 days later supply ship rolls up
>they come along side and get ready to fire lines over to our ship
>for those who are unfamiliar, ships often use line guns to connect two ships together at sea; basically they use a 4-gauge cannon (in our case) to fire a big metal bar trailing the line to the other vessel, where the crew can then secure the line and haul the first ship in close
>they get ready to fire
>I yell "all hands clear the starboard rail", everyone takes cover
>everyone except the newly commissioned NOAA officer who I'm pretty sure still had his mom pack his lunch for him and do his laundry up until the day he graduated OCS
>three loud "thuds" are heard, three big ass brass bars sail through the air towards our deck
>everyone's yelling at Ensign Oblivious to get down
>he's just walking along the deck
>he turns to look at the other ship
>just then he gets nailed right between the eyes with one of the bars
>spears right through his head
>he goes limp and starts to tip over
>the lines go taut
>he gets dragged overboard by the head
>he'd been an officer all of ten weeks

>>813459
Did he dead?

>>813462

>speared through the head with a metal bar then dragged over a railing into the Arctic Ocean

Nah man he was fine

>>813459

>muffled "GET OVER HERE" in the distance

>>813463

>>813464
Hahaha

>>813408
>not always carrying a .357 on your hip on the oil fields

its like you wanted to mauled or something

>>813464
I am fucking dying, top fucking kek

>>813343
please do tell more

>renovating a guy's hunting cabin down in southern Vermont
>nice place, out in the middle of the woods on a private drive, situated on about 5 acres of land leading down to a creek
>I'm there by myself, just fixing things up and cleaning before the renters arrive for the summer
>getting paid well and I get to sleep for free in the cabin as long as I'm working there
>it's around dusk on one of my last nights there
>I've finished working for the day and am enjoying a beer out back, facing downhill towards the creek and the tree line
>hear something moving through the woods
>see antlers
>nice big rack too, get bummed that the seasons over
>hold on
>the shape is all wrong
>I see a deer's head, but where's the body?
>the thing comes up to the edge of the creek and stops and looks up at the house
>it has a man's body, but dark grey/brown and way too tall to be a man
>and a deer's head, with big antlers
>it stares up the hill at me
>I slowly reach for the lever rifle I bring with me in case a bear or a yote or a big cat gets too close
>slowly pick it up
>it stands and stares for a minute or two and then just sort of melts back into the woods
>hear it walking around in the woods all night
>told the owner about it when I got back home
>he told me not to worry about it

>>813536

Oh also there was a swimming hole a few miles downriver from the house and at least one kid drowns/goes missing there every year

Dunno why people still go there

>>813536
>>813537
sounds very much /x/ material, cool story though, and don't get me wrong, I've seen enough weird shit to believe you

>>813536
Herne the Hunter
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herne_the_Hunter

Damn, makes my time in a factory look like nothing. Worst that happened was I took a piece of my fingertip off with a sheet of plywood.

Thought my new job was safe until someone blew up our ozone distiller. Doesn't really compare to some guy getting a tree dropped on him or getting harpooned through the face.

>>813536
>don't worry about it
/k/ pls

>>813536

>he told me not to worry about it

The skinwalkers' nefarious scheme continues to grow in scale, I see. Back in my day they'd just show up at your campsite and tell cool stories, now they're offering gainful employment? What's next, they gonna start cleaning my house while I'm out?

>working in IT
>dozing off at my desk while writing a php module
>boss scares me with an airhorn

Bout the only notable thing that's happened to me in my short career.

>digging ditches for cable
>Need to go way down to get under a retaining wall
>Wall is only one run of cinder block bricks above ground level, it's the same level on both sides
>Wall has 3.5' of footing
WHAT THE FUCK MATE.

>Finally get under it
>Mysterious pipe. Gas or electric. Something bad.
>Other guy sets a glove on top of it and sets pneumatic ram on top of glove.
>Send it on through
>No one died. Everything went better than expected.
--------
Different dig
>Fucking piece of shit, tired of digging in this shit, we should just send the ram through.
>Almost get it out, other guy almost talks me into it but power is marked there so gotta hand dig it
>Finally get to marks, it was a fucking transformer, not a buried cable 2' deeper than we dig. Ram would have gone right through it.
------------
Story from other crew
>Digging near house. Dirt sucks, roots, rocks, shit fucking motherfuckers.
>Dig dig dig
>Almost there
>Another root
>Chop.
>Hiss of pressurized gas.
>fug
----
Two years later essentially exactly the same thing happens to the same guy.
----
Contractors get the shitty jobs
Contractors are insane.
Shoot ram between transformer and distribution box, sure. Do it all the time, only hit high voltage once in 5 years.
Shoot ram underneath phone company splice. Only hit that once every year.

>>811250

Used to be in the military, not going to bother posting stuff from that time for obvious reasons.

>associate PM at engineering firm specializing in traffic management hardware/software
>spend three weeks helping installing new system
>pull all-nighter to finish up at an international airport
>a crane operator the next day thought it was a good idea to drive under a bridge where we had antennas
>causes $2 million in damage
>airport authority tries to claim we should have put signs on top of already existing height limit signs
>boss immediately recognizes they are trying to screw us
>go to court
>win
>still working with people who tried to fuck us
>they mad, we still getting paid

>>813485
Illegal to carry firearms on oilfields. There was a guy that was being mailed and his Co worker shot the bear. Native corporation sued him and he was instantly fired even though he saved dudes life.

>>813432
Bar was in Anchorage. Koots.

Not nearly as exciting as many of these stories, but here's mine

>work at electroplating factory in a room that sanded and buffed motorcycle back rests.
>pic related
>train a new guy to sand
>wants to try his hand and buffing
>fuck it, i'll kill some time
>give a very basic explanation on the job, let my lead man go into more detail
>tell him if the buffer starts to pull the part away too much, to let it go and get away
>7.5hp machines btw and rather big
>week later
>working almost directly behind this guy
>hear the part hit the machine guard and look back
>part is mere feet from my head
>damn near get domed
>guy tried to hold onto the part and the prongs on the front rip open his arm
>blood everywhere
>takes the guy a good 10 seconds before he realizes he's bleeding everywhere
>blood trail all the way to the bathroom
>didn't even do a good job at buffing that part and I had to redo it

but then..
>I get injured outside of work that weekend and get laid off for about two months (broke my hand in a drunken fistfight and got some pins put in)
>transfer to their other plant down the road
>not even two weeks after starting there, they hire a new janitor
>same fucking guy

I also saw a different guy manage to stall out one of those buffers with his body while someone hit the off switch.

>>813343
Holy shit, thats the most white trash story i have ever heard and so much money wasted.

>>812997
John D. Clarke's book (Ignition) also gave me this sort of feeling all around about rocket engineers.

>>813098
>Work with four Indian guys (tomahawk)

Feather or prairie also accepted.

>working data entry at a big nonprofit
>shitty back office in the basement with finance team
>most of my coworkers are pretty chill
>there's one creepy fat dude no one likes
>talks about his sword/knife collection a lot and tells really inappropriate jokes at uncomfortable times
>he's a weirdo and he works next door to me but he's in another department so I don't have to interact with him much
>one day cops show up
>officers come in, hear them talking with reception
>they start walking towards my door
>shit, I knew torrenting Death Grips at work was a bad idea
>they stop at fat guys door
>knock
>"Mr. (his name), this is the police, open the door"
>hear him yell "NO" from the other side
>dis gon b gud
>"sir if you don't open the door we'll be forced to breach it"
>"IM NOT GOING"
>"one"
>I'm peeking around the door
>"two"
>I hear movement inside the office
>"three!"
>cop kicks the door and they all run in
>yelling and sounds of a struggle
>hear fatty screaming bloody murder
>one of the officers comes staggering out with a shiny object in his shoulder
>after about 30 seconds of rumbling in the office they cuff the guy and drag him away screaming
>apparently he had been collecting and selling CP
>lots of it
>and when the cops came to arrest him he stabbed one of them with one of the daggers he collected
>tfw I'd been working right next to a pedo who had been actively financing the exploitation of dozens of little kids for like a year and a half

Still gives me the creeps just thinking about it

>work at a Chinese Resturant
>Guy with a russian accent gives me a pink dildo
>"The hell is this?"
>"Payment"
>There was money inside it...
>I saw a russian guy use a pink dildo for a wallet

>>814131
They can be odd. I work for one who has done time for it and all. He gives me the creeps.

I don't think he would be smart enough to sell anything or that but if they come for him there is a squid box with 5gig of cache waiting for them to explore. I've never found anything I can categorically say is illegal but some of it is your pic related.

>>813141
>damcon in forecastle
I know that feeling. At least you don't have to worry about drowning or burning if you take a direct hit.

Craziest thing that ever happened to me was when I overwintered in Antarctica, and joined the 300 club.
Nothing's quite as exhilarating as going from a 200°F sauna to -100°F outside, naked as the day I was born, and running around the south pole.

>>811250
>high-end Nordstrom-affiliated clothing warehouse
>employee with a reputation for being confrontational (mostly only with one supervisor who is a complete piece of shit and deserves it) finally about to get fired
>has always said that he would make a huge mess of everything if they ever booted him out
>everyone believes him

>he knocks over four huge racks of clothing, spits in the HR manager's face, and flees the scene
>it takes an entire day for the Returns and Inventory departments to re-organize the shit he ruined

>>811855
>>811754
Lockout Tagout is well and good, but when I worked for a major appliance repair company, none of the guys ever did LO-TO and scoffed that I did . I eventually quit because my KPI was so shit. Nobody in my whole region followed LO-TO but me.

>>812361
The best lesson I learned from doing factory work is I don't want to do factory work.

>>814253
those are also the guys who are going to be missing fingers before they retire

>>814131

>talks about his sword/knife collection

That should've been your first clue m8. 99% of people who collect shit like that are huge edgelords with gross fetishes and probably tons of pics of themselves in trenchcoats and fedoras.

The other 1% are serious historians or wealthy collectors who study actual historical pieces instead of cheap Anazon shit

>>813660
I lived a block or two from Chilkoot Charlie's off Spenard, back in 2002 or so. I completely believe your tale.

>worked in a footlocker in the 80s
>nike just started selling the terminator shoes
>half hour before closing
>some guy comes in stoned out of his mind
>asks to try on a pair
>we have only two pairs left, a 9 and a 12
>he tries on the 12 and it falls straight off
>he tries on the 9, and you can see that wearing them hurts
>"Yeah, I'll take it"
>He ends up buying 3 $150 jump suits too
>walks up to the register
>the total is something like $600
>reaches into his sock and pulls out a roll of 20s and 5s
>I'm just staring at him
>"Wrong sock"
>puts it back and pulls out a roll of 100s and 50s from the other sock

>be in german school in the middle of joinery apprenticeship
>working on group project, split up into groups
>waiting to get at the planer
>kid somehow manages to get his fingers under the spring loaded protection thing
>finger tips gone, blood on my shirt]
>teacher lets him walk to hospital a few blocks away
>i get to clean up his mess
yeah that kid was an idiot

another
>at work, coworker is a real nervous guy, always rushing
> using a hand router to something
>wants to change something
> doesn't wait
>boss makes me drive him to the emergency room
>he lost some of his thumb

shit happens fast

>>814504
"wrong sock"
i gotta start keeping cash rolls in my socks

>>813603
>>Wall has 3.5' of footing
>WHAT THE FUCK MATE.
Listen man, mistakes were made, we thought we were gonna put something different there but then we went with a wall, so we could either backfill and tamp it or order an extra 8 yards of concrete so we went with the latter okay.

>>814527
I wouldnt have cleaned that idiots blood, especially if Im just another student.
Also unless It was my friend, It tell the boss to do it himself.. not getting blood all over my car, fuck that.

>>814527
routers are super dangerous
if you let run catch you while running it will keep grabbing meat till its turned off

Ive seen a guy turn a router on in his hands not expecting the torque it spun around and grabbed him in the stomach and started digging

last time I ever saw him was him getting in the ambulance leaving the job he does not even come to union meetings anymore

>first week at machine shop job I lied to get
>lots of artists, sculptors, self taught people
>installing a new sump pump in the floor
>person welding next to open tub of denatured alcohol and varnish mix
>rocket fire
>one guy taps the welder and tells him he started a fire
> "oh shit! stand back!"
>swats it, sends flaming shit all over the floor about 5 feet from me

After that I became "that guy" who calls people out on being dangerous as fuck all the time.

Same place,
>some problem with the cold saw
>person opens it up, is about to start poking around in the electrical box with a screwdriver
>boss walks by and casually says "careful, theres 500volts running through that"
>holyshitialmostdied.gif

>>814486
You would know eh, astute 4channer?

>Be assisting camera guy filming safety video for plant handling HF gas.
>Filming in processing area up over a kiln
>Hard hat, goggles, glasses, ear plugs
>Hard to breath, acid smell
>Gas alarm badge goes apeshit
>Tap camera guy and point at vibrating, blinking, beeping badge
>ohfuck.mpg
>Bust ass schleping camera and tripod up wind, off super structure, and to shelter.
>Safety officer checks out badge in case paperwork.
>"Weird, it's set to 1/10 the normal ppm warning setting."
>Minute later, Loud boom outside
>mfw I see cloud of HF gas/vapor pour up through area we were just filming minutes before

HF is nasty shit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen_fluoride
Thank the Maker I was unscathed, but damn. Video never got finished because they decided to shut that shit down for good.
Too dangerous and too many accidents.

>>814681
>Too dangerous and too many accidents
NO SHIT?

>>813602
> Be in highschool in the 70's.
> Be in science lab.
> Stanking big wooden desks with sinks and cupboards built in, guaranteed to survive the holocaust.
> Teacher has a foot long piece of 2x4 sitting on his desk.
> No one knows why.
> Dude falls asleep in class one day.
> Teacher slams down hunk of 2x4 on desk beside students head.
> No one sleeps in class anymore.

My younger brother told me a few years later he did it to a guy in his class, who was so shocked that he fell backwards off his chair and cracked his head on the desk behind. Lawl, school in the 70's.

>>814719

That reminds me of my freshman year science teacher. He'd do the same thing, but with a yardstick. He had a filing cabinet full of yardsticks that he'd broken over the years.

Crazy Somali girl dismantles a pencil sharpener in class, then proceeds to use the blade to slice open another girls face. Blood gushed everywhere and kids started shouting.. Happened about 8 years ago now - was national news at the time, but they didn't name the school.

>>812780
>The company had to replace etc

What the fuck.

"Customer, your idea of using uncured lumber is fucking retarded..."
>nah I want it that way, build it
"Hokay then"

>eh! what the fuck my house is retarded, builders, you pay for the repairs!

>>813141
>indonesia

Oh jesus they've got the most dangerous mix of medieval culture, colon-gazing, and modern technology, how they have not killed themselves is anyone's guess.
Garuda airlines used to line up on a highway leading to Perth International Airport (western Australia) way too many times so we had to put a bend in the fucking thing.

Also,
>post your stories on /k/ pls

>>814818
I don't think he implied the lumberyard paid. There was more than one company. The building company had to pay. The yard didn't know what they were going to use it for and the customer was ignorant of what they did.

>>813602
>working IT
>a woman knocks on my door
>she is escorted by a security guard
>turns out she is being stalked
>she is scared as hell and about to cry
>go through her email account with the email admins and see there has been access to it on various occasions from IPs that are no where near her place of residence
>have her bring her personal laptop in next day
>backdoor and keylogger installed in her windows laptop
>cross reference with email admins
>find a cleverly disguised email sent to her offering a free Starbucks coupon that she clicked on
>this fucker was stalking her for months

One day your skills may be needed to help someone in need, anon.

>>814850
How is this its problem?
also what happened next?

>>814719
my science teacher in highschool did this with a 500g scale weight when someone fell asleep. same guy got pissed off at one student that he threw one of the desks at the wall breaking the wood and bending the frame.

>>814898
Once we established enough evidence that we could only pull from our org (IP addresses, times, dates), she now had enough evidence to take it to law enforcement.

>>814818
>>814825

Parent here. Basically this company was a fairly large contracting firm, had dozens of individual contractors working on several dozen houses at any given moment. Mostly condoes, duplexes, and "build to order" stuff.

Customers paid some money upfront before/during construction, that would let them customize the finished product to some extent. But were not involved in any of the day-to-day stuff like finding supplies, hounding individual contractors to work on time, or getting permits.

Here's another one from around the same time period, but different company.

>series of eight 2-family homes being built all together on a chopped-up plot of land
>most of them already get down payments before the foundation is even poured
>area is rocky and hilly, but upscale, so this is fancy stuff, expensive windows, finished basements, stainless kitchens, moen faucets, that kind of thing.
>engineers tell us that storm drains are required all around
>area is prone to flash floods
>In their infinite wisdom the bosses decide to put in storm drains and sump pumps last at the same time as the landscaping.
>Avoid them getting incidental damage from onsite equipment or something....
>Houses go up, inside finish is done.
>All thats left is landscaping, pour the sidewalks, and do the storm drains
>Oh and to flip the circuit breakers connecting them to the grid
>it rains
>Each basement fills with 7+ feet of water
>No connected power, so sump pumps don't turn on
>Enough that even the breaker boxes get submerged in most of them
>All internal work is done, the only people left onsite are mexican landscapers, who aren't allowed to go inside
>Fully finished basements stay flooded for over a week before somebody notices
They sold all of them eventually, but not to the original buyers, and at incredible losses. I don't think they're in business any more.

>be me working in garage
>have apprentice
>still have nightmares :(

> Factory worker
> Important conveyer belt gets totally covered in clay on the pulling side, because shit sucked and huge clumps had been wedged out the sides on the transporting side of it.
> Half the fucking factory stands at this belt and cleans of clay from rolls, sides and trying to get some away from the belt as well
> One guy tries scraping the pulling-roll, that 150kg roll that the conveyer belt is pulled by.
> While it is moving
> Gets arms caught in roll
note: I wasn't helping there because of other tasks, but I was around 100 meters away
> Suddenly I hear gut-wrenching scream
> Guy had his arm caught in the pulling roll
> Run to the scene, get told to get an angle-cutter to cut a part of the frame of the construction his arm had been caught in as well
> Get angle grinder, no power outlets within reach
> Run down, get extension cord
> Guy gets cut free and gets taken away by an ambulance
> His arm was saved because another guy was quick and hit the emergency stop
> Was back to work within a month, lived off morphine for a couple of years, now the problem is a bit of sensitivity issues in his ring and pinky finger

Morale of the story is to get back to work after being injured. Staying at home will break you down more than getting to work and using your body again.

Also

A conveyer-belt pulling-roll is serious business and will take off your arm or mince it good at the very least.

Have also seen another, faster-running and more powerful conveyer back-roll twist a rod of metal around between the belt and the roll like it was a string of spaghetti

>>814969
>Morale of the story is to get back to work after being injured. Staying at home will break you down more than getting to work and using your body again.

- why, ye,ssah, Massah Ford!

Why ah knos, me an Miss Afia da, why, we aint got got no arms no more an all, on account o working dem Machines, an all..

But, Missah Ford, we jis wanna wurk, why, Afia bin amputiert nur yesterday, she be back by on the line by morn, please, now, Missah Ford, don be firin our asses, an all!

>>814988
Ford had difficulty keeping workers because the work was so dull, not because it was particularly dangerous.

>>815006
I had a job that paid $25/hr to watch (inspect) vodka bottles go by for 12 hours a day. I wanted to kill myself, only lasted a year. Somedays I got to watch boxes.

>>815006
this is true I worked in a ford plant for a while
they had a vending machine in the middle of the floor that had icecream bars in it for 50 cents each

I would spend like 8 dollars a day on icecream bars just so I would have a reason to walk around

>>815009
wow.
I was going to say if it was a hamburger vending machine you were blowing money on every day that it would be the most american thing I heard but figurd Id just leave it at wow.

I got this capture so now I have to say something about burgers.
murica.

Working in an Abattoir in rural Victoria, Australia.

Workplace accidents were really fucking common. At any one time, there was always at least one person with stitches or a splint from a reattached finger when we'd sit down for morning brew.

In my last week there, they were training a Korean guy to operate the grinder. Part of the 'official' way to clear jams from this thing was to stick your arm up the exit chute and pull out the clogged up beef.

Lost in translation was that you need to turn off the machine first, he lost his arm up past the elbow. The worst part is that due to the way the abattoir hires people, to ensure their insurance premiums didn't go up they cancelled the guy's work visa. He was deported.

I don't get why worksafe need to notify these places that they will be conducting an audit. We'd always have 3 days notice of an audit, and the day before would be spent by a crew of the hardest workers scrubbing the place raw. The audit day, we'd be working at about 1/4 of the usual speed, everyone in hair nets and having a very relaxed day.

Not at work but, when I was tinning a tip, I noticed that it had too much solder so I usually fling it off. Well, one time I did, and it ended up on my face.

>>815090
>casually "flings" molten metal indoors

>>815182
its just solder, it burns for like half a second and doesnt even leave a mark. Even if it's a high temp solder.

Anyway, my story:
We're building this 2kw power amplifier for a high profile costumer.
Damn thing weights a few tonnes and costs several million $.
Everything seems to be good, all things are working, no issues. Time for a full burn test.
Turn on the amplifier and the pump for the cooling system.
Suddenly the hose leading from the pump busts open, water everywhere.
One dude quickly shuts down the pump, the rest of us stand there, with a 'fuuuuuuuuuuck' look on our faces. Production manager looks like he's about to commit sudoku.
Luckily nothing was fried so we got to live another day.

>>813408

I wana hear your war stories anon!

>>815557

>2kW power amplifier
>M$

...how?

>>814534

The older I get, the more "turtles all the way down" makes perfect sense

>>814686

Why is this what I've laughed the hardest at throughtout this thread

>>815053

I'm never sure if I can safely call Australia a backwoods shithole, because it so much sounds like America

>>813075
>>813305
This bears an explanation.

Tractors are not cars. You NEVER shift them out if gear into new gear unless you're on flat.

Likewise, suspect rancher meant that if you needed parking brake to hold vehicle still, you parked it wrong.

Farming is effing deadly. I've stories, will write when I get to a real computer.

>>815673
Wheat farming, eastern Washington state. Going to refer to farmer son and daughter as FS and FD. Both were general fuckups. This is hilly country, working up in the foothills on steep ground; none of that flat Midwestern stuff. Worked for these guys 2 years.

> FD destruction log, year 1
> 3 field fires
> Driving wheat truck too fast through fields kicks up straw dust which ignites. Dry wheat burns really fast...
> 1 combine
> 20' wide combine header needs to go through 21' foot wide bridge.
> We all do this at 1 MPH with mechanic walking in front to guide us
> FD takes bridge at full road moving speed (15 MPH)
> Mashes bridge side, shit bends, combine dead for season.

> FS destruction log
> 1 FD
> After pea harvest, need to break up little piles of pea vines that happen everywhere combine stops
> Kids out pitching pea pods, riding in back of pickup with pitchforks
> FS driving, FD and others in back
> FS driving like a maniac, pitches FD out of open bed on turn, breaks her hip
> No more FD in year 2

> Forward to end of season, year FS broke FD hip.
> FS driving trap wagon with 6 of us in back
> Him and 2 of his prep school buddies in cab
> Trap wagon is basically a beat to shit truck with +1000 lb fuel tank in back.
> FS driving like maniac again on deeply rutted dirt road (50+ MPH)
> Nearly hits oncoming truck on narrow road
> Hits bump so hard 1000 lb fuel tank lifts 1" off bed, almost off pins that hold it down (not bolted down, b/c why would it need to be?)
> Realize FS is going to get us all killed, look at coworkers, realize I'm going to have to deal with this.
> Reach into cab of truck, haul him half way out window by arm
> Tell him if he doesn't slow down, I'm going to bash through back glass and kill him
> Am 100% serious
> FS slows down. Season ends 2 days later, get paid, don't go back.

>>815689
> Year 2
> Working on field, 30-40 degree slope with 7 other wheat combines. Hill slopes to flat plain, surrounded by cliff (80 deg slope)
> Combines need to be level to work, and has heavy hydraulic rams to keep platform level while cutter stays parallel to ground.
> Most cutting is done side hill, not up/down, b/c combine works better that way.
> Combine also holds ~3 tons of wheat in top hopper; this mass is held up high.
> Combines do a good job staying level as long as you give the hydraulics time to keep it level, since it's easier to keep something upright than pick it up from 45 degree angle.
> We have CB radios for communication.
> Am working bottom of hill, hear screaming on CB
> Supervisor truck headed warp speed up hill
> Look up to top of hill
> Combine tipped entirely away from hill, full grain hopper spilling over top. Basically as far as it can tip wrong way
> Operator cutting sidehill, turned from left-right to right-left cut too fast, hydraulics couldn't keep up going lock to lock and collapsed.

>>815693
> Year 3, didn't work there. Hear story about my old employer
> Farmer family flies out cousin from Ireland
> Won't it be fun to have him work harvest like FS and FD
> Cousin operating combine on field from story above
> Remember my comments about shifting tractors? Applies to combines too.
> Combine needs to be completely stationary to shift. No synchros; if combine is in motion you can't get it into next gear once in neutral.
> Shifting procedure is to sidehill combine so it won't roll, even out of gear, then shift gears.
> No reason to shift gears anyway. Harvesting is done in 1 gear, moving around field done in another. End of day sort of thing to do.
> FS can't be bothered. On this hill, his procedure is to stomp on brake, shift, keep going, bc faster
> Cousin tries this, apparently, at end of day.
> Gets combine out of gear.
> Combine starts rolling
> Brakes are enough to keep 5T combine stationary, but not to stop it once rolling
> Combine rolls down hill, off cliff. Cousin stays with the combine.
> Farmer family sends home Ireland cousin in a box.

>>815673
>>815689

>Farming is effing deadly.
> FS driving like maniac again

Nah, farming is not deadly. Inbred morons with IQ well below room temperature operating heavy equipment are

>>813075
Hey anon, is this pic where you were operating? What state/part of country?

>>815697
> Inbred morons with IQ well below room temperature operating heavy equipment are
You just described many of my co-workers. The others were college kids with zero equipment training.
> Hey kid, you can drive a car? Here's a 5T combine to operate
> There's the clutch, there's the gas, that big lever engages the thresher.
> See you at lunch time

>>815712
its like that in construction too if your not union because the only people who are scabbing non union are the fuck ups who could not stay in the union

>>815586

audiophile markup

>>815053
>I don't get why worksafe need to notify these places that they will be conducting an audit.
I think you do. It's obvious. The government is controlled by the rich. The "inspections" and "regulations" passed by law were never intended to make the corporations change. They were intended to get you out of the streets and out of Leftist political parties. Bourgeois democracy is false democracy; it is just a way to redirect your revolutionary energy so that it is harmless to the rich. Capitalist government exists not to protect you but to protect the rich from you.

>Working in an Abattoir in rural Victoria, Australia. Workplace accidents were really fucking common.
>Farmer family sends home Ireland cousin in a box.
> Suddenly I hear gut-wrenching scream. Guy had his arm caught in the pulling roll
>Wide eyed choker flattened into a human pancake
The machinery of capitalism is oiled with the blood of the workers.

>>815856
>Joining unionscum.
Literally the cancer killing industry.

>>816438
>>816443
Go back to /pol/.

>>816443
yeah if you like working for shit pay and treated like mexican garbage go ahead and work non union
I have done both and I will never go back to the shit fest of non union

>>813348
>using cheap harbor frieght hammer
>metal bit looks all right, what could possibly go wrong
>use the back end to pry something off, very gentle-like
>handle literally explodes after appling a tiny bit of pressure, it's made out of some kind of cardboard plywood paper confetti bullshit

made in china, never again.

>>816456
>made in china, never again.
srsly anon, there is basically no shit that ain't made in china, with a few exceptions.

I own a number of higher end chinese tools and they are excellent. Maybe more in china than anywhere else, you get what you pay for

What you meant to say is
>cheap shit tools, never again

>>813464
the poor man does not deserve to be made fun of, he didn't really "do anything wrong", he was just new and ignorant to things.

with that said...you sir win the internet for today.

>>813459
why do they fire when the deck was not cleared

>>817846
To sort the men from the boys. Clearly, it does the job.

>walking back from van
>see explosion from otherside of dump truck
>excavator as ripped up a submain cable
>cordon off area
>foreman comes out
>I want to test that it is now dead
>foreman overrides me and says breaker would have tripped
>foreman ask excavator drived to dig more out so we can joint cable
>Im standing right at the hole
>bucket going down
>BOOOOOOM!
>another explosion
>sunburn and arc eye for me
>unemployment for foreman after my report

I worked on a site where it felf like a prison. Drywallers were one gang and plasterers were another and they had beef.

Electricians and plumbers the only white guys onsite.

One drywaller got stabbed and was still hanging rock bleeding from his neck.

Huge fight outside the site, backup nigs turned up.

Now a fancy apartment block.

Working on grounds of a mental hospital

The loons liked our hi viz gear, would often steal our hiviz vests and hard hats if we left them by the gate to go to lunch.

One day a roller started up and a big rig nig orderly went sprinting towards it and tackled a patient out of the seat

A patient in disguise asked the foreman for a light and the foreman ripped the ciggarette out of his mouth and said you cant smoke here. Guy flipped and tried to attack the foreman chanting weird words.

A guy escaped into the plant room and cut his penis off.

>>811934
It scares me to know that such retards get to control scary machinery.

I see how the non academic kids all go to manual labour, but there needs to be another level where only the kids with some basic responsibility get to touch the big machines.

Maybe an exam on how not to be a ducking idiot. For their own safety and the safety of others.

I was a tow truck operator for almost 10 yrs.
Scariest thing that ever happened to me was a call from SHP
Call us out for a drunk in the middle of bumfuck that had left his vehicle. Shitty little SUV
In a field
I took the wife and our girlfriend at the time with me bc they wanted to come
Me and th trooper sit and chat while Im setting up
eventually it too cold for him and he goes back to his unit.
1 hr later the shitty SUV is lined up behind the rollback and Im about to start putting it on the bed when the trooper rolls by and asks if he can run, he's got a hot call.
Sure man, all done but the billing now.
He takes off
I get the SUV on the bed but havent got it secure and the bed is still down.
I hear big tires coming. Fast.
Look up to see some jacked up good ole boy drunkenly flying at the truck.
All I can think is well shit
I cant move the truck, the girls are in it. WTF is this ass gonna do?
Drunky slams his POS lifted Chevy into the ditch at 60+ mph through the ditch passes me and keeps on trucking, blows the stop sign and everything.
The girls said his headlights disappeared before he turned, thats how close he was.
Before towing I thought drunks were a scourge of our parents generation. I was soooo fucking wrong.

>>811379
> damn adjustable wrench
There's your problem. May as well take the extra effort and use regular wrenches.

>>811935
>I also saw someone in that class start up a car with no oil in it and drive it out into the parking lot. Then he proceeded to try and do a burn out.

those fuckers are brilliant, aren't they?

>Inna factory
>Double-check prints
>Getting ready to leave
>Couple electricians and an EE are hanging around a golf cart
>They use them to carry junk and people around
>Another EE pops out from under the cart
>’Alright, good to go!’
>There’s an aluminum E-Stop button on the dash
>They all jump on
>Someone hit the button
>Cart peels out
>Does donuts and drifts around some shelves
>Security cart outta nowhere
>Light flashing, alarm beeping
>Party cart hauls ass
>Security cart peels out
>Turns out another EE riced out the security cart
>Start chasing around the factory
>Security cart spins out
>Party cart vanishes outside
>It’s like Fast and Furious
>But with four fat white guys, a pissed-off black security chick, and riced-out golf carts

>>811250
>be me
>be 21
>work construction
>ironworker for a while now
>get in with the union and go to indiana for great paying job
>benefits up front, fuckyeahman
>I get to fly the rebar onto the build site for all the incoming trucks because my uncle is foreman
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>all my coworkers are jelly af because I get chill ass part of job
>have to blow shitty whistle everytime I fly something over with the crane because the safety inspector is a fucking racist faggot
>something about minimizing liabilities
>okmanwhateveryousay.exe
>whistle like a mofo to let everyone know, but some idiots that are shoveling a hole under the swing of the boom don't move
>whistle consistently, but hillbilly fuckers don't move, they must have skoal in their ears or something
>signal crane operator to stop
>fucking several tons of premium carbon steel suspended in midair
>"get the fuck out of the way man"
>faggots stare up like turkeys in the rain, then finally move
>crane proceeds
>now onto the next bundle..
>start flying that shit over, but someones mommy must have had too much moonshine during their gestation period
>idiots don't fucking move, so I just signal for the crane to proceed
>keep doing this for a few bundles
>awildsafetyinspectorappears.gbc
>guy starts telling me shit, yelling about blah blah blah
>wait for him to finish
>tell him that billy and bob hear the whistle, but apparently they don't know what the fuck it means
>"better go minimize that liability friend"
>shuts him right the fuck up, then he gets in his shitty golf cart to go yell at the sister-fuckers
>itwasagoodday.jpeg

Manual labor isn't fun by any means, but fuck there has to be more of a requirement for new hires. Some of these guys walk around like fucking drones and don't know what the fuck is going on around them.

>>817897
Some of these guys walk around like fucking drones and don't know what the fuck is going on around them.


I'd bet money that they're pill heads. Half the construction workers I've met are.

>>817912
The other half are drunks.

>>817889
that's just brilliant, I can picture it perfectly

>>817972
>>817912
>Doing soul and body crushing construction work.
>Staying sober.
Pick one

>working in analytical chem lab while in undergrad
>investigating how various carcinogens interact with DNA
>we get the best results using infrared spectroscopy at very low temperatures
>national science foundation gives us sixty grand to play around with
>we order a super nice polarizer for our spectroscope, manufactured by some artisan firm in Europe who normally work on Swarovski rifle optics
>the glass in this polarizer has to be custom cut and fused together to fit our machine
>this polarizer, about the size of a matchbox, costs a full 20 grand out the door
>takes like three weeks to be manufactured, another two be shipped all the way to us in California
>I sign for the package, and it takes me like half an hour to unpack this thing super gingerly
>my professor demands to see it, I say it's on the bench and tell him to pick it up because I don't want to have to hand it to him myself
>he holds it up to the window to try to see the sunlight turn through it
>immediately fucking drops it
>shatters into a huge chunks
>professor just smiles at me, and says "money well spent by the NSF"

>>818032
all the sober guys work on the powerplants and projects like that

around here the plants all piss test people randomly day they also randomly breathalyzed people coming in the morning

if you failed either you are banned for life from working for duke energy

the work is good and pretty easy but the hours suck 7 days a week 10-12 hours a day till the shutdown is over

Was a zookeeper for about 5 years.
Saw the maintenance SUPERVISOR cut himself out of a tree with a chainsaw, cut a tree down on top of a bench narrowly missing a BUILDING, and what finally made me loose my shit and throw him out of any area I was in was when he called me while I was at home to ask me how to bleed the self bleeding hydraulic system on our compact tractor. I had to yell at him over the phone to keep him from killing himself.

>>818032
Yeah, with the union there are usually a good number of druggies. The most I ever did was smoke weed, because it made my back feel better. Some of those fuckers were on amphetamines and steroids. They'll burn out before they know it and get themselves killed. If only construction wasn't so shitty on the body.

>>811250
>at furniture factory
>newfag driving semi apparently doesn't know you need to make wide corners
>runs trailer over pole to mark the edge of the corner for when there's snow
>worse, the base of the pole is 2'x2'x2' square box of concrete and it gets lodged under his axles
>"anon, trailer is empty, can you get a forklift and lift it off?"
>explain the forklifts can lift 4000# and the back is 7000-8000# empty.
>"please, I don't want trucking company to fire me"
>get a friend and another forklift, mainly because I wanted to get rid of this truck and get home
>lift it off
>while it's up in the air I can see the airlines and controls for the rear breaks are trashed, that truck isn't going anywhere
>kek!, "your problem now, dumbass"

>>815053
>>816438
>>815605
Amerifat here. This kind of stuff really depends on the corporate culture and management. Some places like mine are scared shitless of lawsuits and OSHA fines and they have taken safety way too far. I fucking hate wearing neon vests and safety glasses everywhere, when common sense would tell a reasonably smart person the vest is for traffic areas and glasses are for power tools. Next the idiots at corporate will have us wearing fall protection harnesses for walking around on the ground.

> they were training a Korean guy to operate the grinder. Part of the 'official' way to clear jams from this thing was to stick your arm up the exit chute
>Lost in translation was that you need to turn off the machine first, he lost his arm up past the elbow

This really sucks but the ultimate answer is not to hire foreigners who can't speak the language. His share of the blame was no common sense and he shouldn't have got in way over his head.

>>815696
Not so deadly, but...
>I ran this kind of combine
>hot as hell outside, AC blasting inside, like room temp
>get out to pick up sticks and shit in the way
>go back in
>the door is almost 100% glass except hinges and handle
>I push the button and it EXPLODES, as in no piece left is more than a 1/4"x1/4" cube.
>I spend a couple seconds FREAKING out, thinking someone was shooting at me.
>nope, I'm not James Bond, don't have those problems
>decide later that the temperature difference inside vs. out, plus sloppy assembly made it blow up when the latch clicked
>when we got the replacement door, rubber washers and grommets were used to insulate the glass from any shock from the metal parts
>$100 bet says that the factory workers forgot one or badly fit it so the metal was in direct contact with glass and it never was a problem until the crazy temperature differential that day

>>811999
>strength of a gorilla, matched with the temperament of a blind feral cat.

As the father of a 17 year old Autistic boy I would like to tell you...that this is 100% accurate.

>tales from the fab floor

>working in manufacturing facility as IT, place has 400 workers in its hayday.
>welders
>paint shop with ovens big enough to bake a truck
>laser cutter
>every bender and bolter imaginable and so much more...
>and that motherfucking DEBURR room. Or I should say rooms, two of them.
>one room for ALUMINUM ONLY and another for STEEL ONLY!!! Big fucking signs on the doors, giant vent systems going to separate ventilation systems.
>Theres a fucking reason for this people!
>Mexicans hired to cut cost, 5 mexicans working deburr room, mexicans nto big on following the rules it turns out.
>when unsupervised all the different metals get deburred in one room so they can talk and fuck around while grinding metal.
>weeks pass, nobody was paying attention.
>I hear alarms go off in the back, I charge out of my server room along with a couple of the other supervisors and head to the back.
>Smoke just pouring out of one of the quarter million dollar ventilation systems attached to the deburr rooms.
>chemistry mode kicks in; Oh shit you niggers did not!
>Were screaming at people to get back, fire extinguishers are rushed to us from all directions and that god damn VP shows up screaming about is ventilation system.
>somebody with welding gloves starts ripping out the 3 foot long tubular filters, and yep they are burning.
>Extinguishers unleashed from all directions, my mental note; uh that aint gonna do shit.
>extinguishers spent the VP yells at the mexicans to roll the filters on to a pallet jack get them out of the building.
>burned mexicans everywhere, i'm shaking my head at the wonders of chemistry, outside the fire keeps growing and proceeds to destroy a very expensive new pallet jack.
>when the fire department showed up I talked to the chief and told them what got mixed up in the filters, they waited until the last of it was spent before dousing the molten mass with water.

Kids, dont mix your metals in deburr.

>>818067

>>818185
What is thermite?

>>818185
But the mexicans saved us so much money!

WHY CAN'T I PAY MY WORKERS $5/HOUR FOR $25/HOUR WORK?

I would have said $15, but $15 is the new minimum wage in LA!

>>818192
>But the mexicans saved us so much money!

The $250,000 filtration system would beg to differ, it was NOT covered under warranty for that kind of damage as it turned out.

The VP was an unbelievable asshole who hated mine (and most peoples) guts. Cut corners in very crazy ways, bought his way into VP by buying up stock in the company when he inherited a big inheritance, he was a fucking welder just before that with zero executive experience. Once had me install a camera system but wanted to pay absolute bottom dollar on it, hell bottom dollar was his catch phrase practically.

Deburr room caught fire again a year later, same thing.

Still this isnt the crazies thing to happen at work, just at that job. This is less crazy than the 1 day I worked at a animal research lab for UT. That was fucking soul crushing shit, I didnt even want my paycheck at the end of the day, I just wanted the fuck out of there.

>>818194
Ooooh, was it vivisections?

>>818185
I saw what was gonna happen the moment you said "steel only" and "aluminum only".
Thermite is nasty shit.

>Work in a massive chemicals warehouse/exit storage
>Get shit from all over the world
>Usually it comes in a sealed container or cabin
>This time we get 2 ducktaped drums from india
>Very clear and white
>Can see some sort of corpse inside each one
>They're fucking monkeys that'd been tested for breathing within birthfluid
>Told to ignore them and pack them for breakdown
>Hold on, another couple of drums shows up
>These are fucking big drums, each with about 16 monkeys in them each
>Nothing to completely close the top, red liquid freely bubbles out
>manager breaks out bio-hazard equiptment
>Finally get last drum, we'd been storing them in a shipping container so far
>Accidentally drop its because its lighter than the others and we'd been using an electric pallete jack instead of a clawdrive
>Lid opens, goo everywhere
>Fucking human toddler slides out into goo
>None of these were monkeys, but kids
>They were all albino looking
>Manager gets chemical spill kit, tells us all to shut the fuck up
>Throws toddler back into drum
>He starts crying
>''WE'RE FUCKED. WE'RE ALL FUCKED''
>I leave and go home
We don't talk about it much. What the fuck were they doing to those kids?

>>818222
w-what happened after?

>>818222
>>>/x/ go home, and tell your mum to keep the fucking gate to the yard shut.

>>813363
could you explain what you mean by line and bit?

>>818222
what the fuck

>>814253
That's a OSHA violation, report it to your manager. If you don't feel safe and your boss isn't doing anything about it you should report it

>>818222
>None of these were monkeys, but kids

>>818222
well this will not be topped in this thread or any other I believe.

>>817897
>hires new people
>don't explain whistle to them ahead of time
>thinks they're the idiots
I've had bosses pull that "You're an idiot because you didn't know something I didn't tell you about." You don't train your people, blame yourself.

>>818208
>Ooooh, was it vivisections?

Actually the animals getting killed and tortured en-masse was bad enough. But the moment I went in to clean the baboon room....I had a life changing moment with 12 big ass baboons surrounding me while I tried to clean out the pen. Twelve stir crazy psychotic baboons who have been cooped up for decades. The rest of it was bad enough but that was my final fuck that moment. Six dollars an hour was not enough for that shit, Sixty dollars an hour would not have been enough.

>>818185
Your VP should have gotten a bit of cruft from both systems, and a piece of thick steel. Show them the steel draw a little stickman on it, mix the cruft, melt a hole through it, show them that separate deburr rooms are srs business.

>>817826
I made it a point to become friends with everyone that my grandparents knew specifically to get my hands on their 1940 era tools.

>>816454
the point is, unionization is what caused non-union to always be treated like that. It's like a fat kid being mad that there are too many calories in cake. The reason the kid is fat, isnt because cake has too many calories, but because the kid chooses to eat said calories.

Non-union gets treated like shit because unions have forced so many rules and regulations into their respective industries, which come with their own costly bureaucracies, that most businesses cant afford to be reasonable when they dont "have" to be.

>be around 12yo
>working with my dad in the summer holidays in a small industrial/warehouse estate
>suddenly loud banging next door
>hysterical man shouting a the top of his voice trying to get through the metal rollershutters with a pick-axe from outside
>dad tells me to go back inside
>fast forward some minutes I go back outside when it was all quiet
>see ambulance crew bringing body out with sheet covering head
>the man is hysterical still

Turns they were father and son roofers, son had gone through the roof, fell about 100ft onto metal machinery inside the building, killed right out, I think he too was working with his dad during the holidays as he was around 15-16yo.

It was the weekend so he couldn't get through to his son as the building was closed, hence the pick-axe.

That must have been a good 25 years ago now.

I wonder how he broke the news to his wife/sons mother

I'll never forget that day.

>>818391
Not a big fan of American History I see.

There is a reason workers in this country snapped one day and started banding together, and it was not because of communism. It is because until someone in power is forced to stop with the threat of equal power or violence, they will fuck over a group of human beings as much as they can get away with. This is a truth that never changes, ever. Ever in history, or the bible.

>>818067

>>816454
The company I work for in Texas only hires non-union electricians. Our competitors only hire non-union. I get treated extremely well and everyone in the industry down here does. I could quit today and go to another job making the same money tomorrow, so why the fuck would my employer treat me like shit?

However I do understand that for the laziest, shittiest employees that a union is still necessary since you are replaceable by literally anyone.

>>818325
its general knowledge that whistles on the job means load overhead

>>818508
i've never worked on a job where loads were moved by crane... I'd never heard this before...

that being said I've never worked on a construction site or other area where loads would be lifted over my head....

>>818349
>12 big ass baboons surrounding me while I tried to clean out the pen

I'm sorry, but were you raped?

>>818067
I've been saving images on 4chan for nearly a decade and I don't have an image which can convey my reaction to this post. What the fuck. Did you order another one or just say "fuck it"?

>>813545
wendingo
herne is from britton

>>818185

>separate aluminum/steel grinding
>what's the big deal?
>mixing metals usually only a big problem with an electrolyte involved
>it's not like-
>grinding
>powder
>aluminum
>rusty steel

Ohhhhhhh yeaaaaahhh...

>>817851
>Customer's cable no worky
>Locate ground fault in cable.
>Customer "Hey I got an excavator I'll dig that up for you."
>Fuckit, sure
>*brrrn beeep beep beep chug chug*
>Pulls up... something. Like 4" down
What the fug, even our skeeziest contractors would never bury the cable 4" down in clear dirt like this.
>Other guy I'm working with boggles and goes to grab it, looks sort of like old-ass AB cable
>"Don't touch that! That's my power!'
>customer braided his own wire from old 16g non insulated phone wire.
>customer made his own splice to his mains.
>covered it in a black tube
>covered tube in PVC
>This was what he pulled up. Luckily it broke at the T (yes, the T) in his buried mains line so there was no power
What the fug man.
Found the cable though. It was woven inbetween his phases.

>>818546
Not him but I would have the balls to call up the only place in the world that can make that equipment and tell them you need another one just like it.

"What happened to the first one?" "Manager shit on it."

>>818520
Right, and like me, if were hired tomorrow on such a job, we wouldn't know till numbnuts runs over and starts screaming like an idiot. He lacks people skills. This is what happens when family gets promoted without proving themselves.

>>818644
I have a buddy who used to be a electrical lineman, now he's a supervisor, but this happened when he still did real work
>Heavy thunderstorm, customers losing power
>he goes to a known outage
>finds the blown fuse, used to protect the transformer
>before replacing fuse, he has to find the cause
>he's driving along the power lines looking for the problem when he finds a tree branch hanging, just close enough to the ground to cause a short with the ground
>figuring there's no power, should be safe to just grab the branch and pull it off the line
>stops, thinks for a second, then proceeds to put on all protective gear before touching the branch
>the branch is charged, 12,000 volts charged
>he heads further down the line
>farmer had his generator running, back feeding into the grid, across one transformer that was taking it up to 12,000 volts to where that branch was
Some DIYers do not know when to call professionals.

>>813603
>>Wall has 3.5' of footing
>WHAT THE FUCK MATE.

Hah. Reminds me of our front walkway. We had our sewer line replaced a year and a half ago. The contractor had to tear out the front walk, dig a few feet down, replace the line, and then put everything back.

About three or four months later we had a huge void develop under the walkway. Almost a foot deep for about 15 feet of walkway. The whole thing would have caved in except for a little six inch line of dirt that held the whole thing up. Turns out that the contractor had rushed the job in order to get on to another job, and he took full responsibility.

This guy researches some fixes, doesn't want to tear out the whole thing and replace. He ends up rigging up a contraption to blow quick-dry cement mix under the walkway with a fuckhuge compressor. Ends up blowing about 40 bags of cement mix under the sidewalk.

Someone is going to tear that out one day and find that they've got a foot thick sidewalk to remove with a soft powdery center.

It's not going to be me.

>>818649
Using a suicide cord with a generator is one thing, folks, but you've got to remember to flip the breaker into your house so you don't kill the poor bastard sent out to fix the outage.

>>818656

This is why you do it the right way. You might be the slickest bastard in the world, but if the consequences of "I forgot" is that someone dies, you're doing it wrong.

>working retail and salesman at the same time with shit pay
>customer comes in, some old man
>he wants some food
>is confused where he's at
>show him where the snacks are
>'I want chocolate'
>ok here
>'I want a snickers without peanuts'
>there is no such thing what the fuck
>claims he is allergic
>try to explain it to him
>he's just getting more and more angry
>try to explain he will die if he eats one
>takes the snickers from the rack and starts eating it
>I ring it up and wait for him to pay
>he SPITS the shit on the table
>'AAH IT'S GOT PEANUTS'
>throws money and leaves

Fuck old people and fuck downtown stores

>>818393

jesus christ

i'll relay a couple of my dad's paramedic stories.

>he gets called in to a head on collision on the highway
>car hit so hard the dash was pushed up towards the seat, hitting driver's knees
>dislocated both femurs
>dad looks behind seat
>two femoral heads sticking out of the back of driver's seat
the guy lived

>>818667

I'm going to be a nightmare when I get old. I'll spend the next 50 years coming up with plans. 75 hits, bam! Five decades of pentup hijinx harassment.

>>818671
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itHm5xmmYDU

>have shit forklift at work
>shit breaks down every 3 uses
>new coworker wants to learn how to use it
>I refuse to learn it since I don't want to die with minimal wage
>boss is teaching him
>it's fucking up, boss is trying to fix it for him
>I look in the window
>he is flooring it to the storage room, my boss is hanging on the side
>shit looks like a cartoon
>barely skims beside the gateway
>rush the fuck outside
>stops right before he hits the wall in the storage room
>confirm that I will never learn that forklift

Could have ended a lot worse.

>>818654
in 2000 years society will have broken down, and then reformed several times, future anthropologists will discover the eroded mass of concrete in the area where your home once stood, and decide that it must have been a site of great importance... their will be people who dedicate their entire lives to understanding it... papers will be written, theories will be postulated and then disproven....


top kek

>>818679

>>818675
>Suaru
>Implying
Heard you were talkin' shit like I wouldn't find out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6prtCtxk1ho

>>818685
damn finns

>>811379
I recently baught an adustable "Cresent " brand wrench with an optional lock on it. I'm really disappointed with it, locks like butt town

>>818667
>Snickers without peanuts
It's called a Milky Way (Mars Bar for you Gyrocucks) ya doofus.

>>818695
But mars and milky way are two different bars

>>818685

There is someone driving that car. What the fuck.
Are these motherfuckers literally insane?

>>818698
I've had both, and they taste identical. The only difference is the packaging.

>>818647
if you took the osha 10 hour like you are supposed to you would know it

>>818701
Polan doesnt afraid of anything

>>818677
lol reminds me of.

>TALES FROM THE FAB FLOOR Part 2.

>VP has a new rule for all the fabs, all employees working on the floor have to take and pass forklift safety course and test. 1 hour course followed by 30 minute test on basic usage...not a big deal right?
>one of our workers is fucking blind. Nice enough guy but hardcore into getting all the required helpful shit hes supposed to get so he does the same job as everybody else.
>VP says no exceptions, figure hes trying to weed out some people. Workers like the blind guy a hellofa lot more than they do him.
>Cut to many weeks later, out with the execs as they do their "monthly inspection" with the managers of the fab floor, trying to look like they do something I suppose.
>>>>>"A WILD BLIND NEGRO DRIVING A FORKLIFT APPEARS!
>On the side of the forklift is one of the supervisors, he's screaming:
>LEFT LEFT LEFT, STRAIT, STRAIT, Slow RIGHT, TURN HARD LEFT IN 3 SECONDS, STOP, FORKS UP!
>They fucking barely miss the 8 man inspection team, I am barely containing my shit while smoking my cig.
>Turns out he had passed the test a week before and they were just moving shit to the inspection racks.
>Motherfucking CEO turns to one of the other guys in suits "Was that...a blind man driving a forklift????" Fucking CFO (my boss who was awesome) without missing a beat lights his ciggerette and says "Yes sir we have a strict EOC following, now if you come with me to the paint room we will show you the improvements".
>I had to sit back and finish my cig because I was just about to die laughing.

>>818710
2/10 made me reply

>>818942
>hurr durr he's right but I have to save face on this Ethiopian Smorgasbord I'll just post 2/10 made me reply

>>818958
this might be a european/US marketing scheme.
US on the left includes caramel, just like a mars bar.

The one on the right looks like what we'd call a 'three musketeers'

>>818976
derp

>>818958
you're a complete fucking retard. First of all i'm not even the anon you were talking to, and second of all, as >>818979 pointed out, mars bars clearly have a layer of caramel on top

>>818397
Recent history shows the unions getting so powerful and entitled that they are insane. One place I used to work for went on strike for: (among other things but this seemed to be #1 or #2)

>Promotions should be given only on basis of seniority.
>One guy there was illiterate, but near to becoming a department manager.

How can't Democrats or even union shills see that this is a recipe for disaster that will kill all your jobs?!?

I've had many managers who run the scale from I liked them, to want to kill them. I can say I did better with people who were legitimately smarter than me, and I respected them. There is nothing worse than taking orders from a fool and you can see the train wreck coming ahead.

>>818997
>Union
>Driving company equipment on drugs
>EVERYONE sees him stumble out of car, manager, foreman, engineer, director.
>Fails drug test
>Fired for 2 months.
>Gets his job back, union boss brags 'he's never had anyone lose their job'
>Everyone he works with, including other union members fucking hate working with him because he hasn't done anything in years except collect overtime for doing fucking nothing.

>>818725
so were back to your hiring people who aren't properly trained? or did the guy just lie about taking the class?

>>818981
You've obviously never had a Milky Way. They've got caramel in them, dipshit. Three Musketeers don't.

>>819005
>>818997
>Hired by regional service company that does business in 3 states and has about two dozen locations
>Non-union position
>6 month probationary period were I can be laid off without cause or recourse and earn no benefits
>Manager loves me, we get along well
>Do good work, no complaints, show up every day on time, never late or sick
>5 months 15 days in, laid off
>Manager says he had no choice in the decision, was from on high. Gave be glowing letter of recommendation
>Reason given, not enough work for me
>For two weeks before I was asked to do extra shifts because they were slammed
>Few days later see a job listing for similar work, no company listed
>Call them up, low and behold its the same company hiring for the same position in the same location
>Call unemployment office to complain

In my state alone there are 110 cases under investigation where this company hires people and lays them off before they can become benefited or have job security and re-lists the job immediately. In the last 2 years they have had more unemployment claims made against them then they currently have people on staff.

Some unions are fuckers, like where I'm currently employed. Useless pricks that take $60 a month from me and give me nothing. Others are overzealous greedy douchebags. They are a necessary evil though and if you can keep them somewhere between useless fucks and greedy fucks they perform a valuable service. No union is just as bad as a useless union or shitbag union.

>>817853
>Working on grounds of a mental hospital

>The loons liked our hi viz gear, would often steal our hiviz vests and hard hats if we left them by the gate to go to lunch.

>One day the loons came out in all our gear and got the job done on time..

>>819013
all the jobs I work require it

its part of being in the union

I have my osha 30

>>812011
I've got a related one

>be carpenter, working with a good friend
>just finished putting isolation on the roof
>suddendly starts to rain
>proceed to quickly cover all the roof with plastic sheets to protect said isulation
>on the way down friend goes trough the roof, forgot there was a hole for a window
>fell 12 feet flat on his back
>mfw not a scratch, went right back to work
>mfw he fell on the one spot that wasn't riddled with tools, ladders, bricks and shit

>>819027
I think you might be living the life of Shutter Island

Not my story but, happened in the school I work in.

> School has special section for kids with mental disorders.
> There is Harold, a guinnea pig, which is like the class mascot, all kids love him.
> One day teatcher is with other kids and that one kid who has a work to do has finished.
> Wants attention from teacher, tells teacher he's done.
> Teacher says that he has to wait and he'll come and see him when he's done with the other pupils.
> Kid is upset, wants the teacher to come right now.
> Grab Harold, goes in front of teacher and the other kids.
> Stare at teacher straight in the eye.
> Screams like crazy and brutally twists Harold's head in front of the entire class.

>>819026
>They are a necessary evil though and if you can keep them somewhere between useless fucks and greedy fucks they perform a valuable service. No union is just as bad as a useless union or shitbag union.

Your logical and reasoned thinking has no place here on 4chan, are you lost? Someone as intelligent as you should not have gotten so lost this easily.

>>811250
We were playing Charlie Charlie game, and a glass bottle broke in two.

>>811999
Hey, I do that, too. You're a para, aren't you?

>>818649
>stops, thinks for a second, then proceeds to put on all protective gear before touching the branch
Sounds like he's experienced this before, then

> doing tile in new houses
> one of 3 white people in the area that do tile
> mexicans usually piss in the bathtubs instead of doing it outside.
> imagine piss in standing water, inside an house with no A/C in the heat of a Texas summer. The stench was putrid.
> working on a friday morning at 5am, start bringing equipment into house
> the second i walk in the door my nose and eyes start burning from the smell
> drop my shit and go get respirator and swimming goggles i carry for just this occasion
> finish scraping and prepping the rest of the house, saving the downstairs bathroom for last
> decide to nut up and just try to get the bathroom prepped as fast as possible
> walk in the bathroom
> bathtub is literally full to the brim, with piss, shit, dirt, a couple dead rodents and a cat with a crossbow bolt in its neck/head.
>idontgetpaidenoughforthis.jpg
> bathroom was relatively small so i try to finish quickly.
>next thing i know i wake up outside with some mexican guys gathered around me smacking my face

smell got through the respirator apparently and i didnt notice. Made me pass out while using a nailgun, some mexican guy who was installing cabinets heard a crash and dragged me out of the house and him and his co-wrokers were trying to wake me up. I went to the doctor as well and i didnt seem to have any permanent damage. I no longer do tile.

>>814131
Death grips. Yee my nigga

>>819177
what is charlie charlie?

>>818391
non union is treated like shit because they are retarded goofs

the job im on im a union carpenter doing finish work

the contractor hired a bunch of non union mexicans to do metal studs and drywall

nothing is on center
nothing is square
nothing done by them is done once they have to do it 3-5 times and its still fucked up

I just spent 4 hours today sheeting a tiny soffit thats 16"x79" on one end and 16 5/8th on the other end and 17 in the center
I had to cut my sheets close then get them into place and scribe a line and cut it again in the lift

also union guys have to follow a shit ton of rules or they will get run off
the non union guys violate osha rules multiple times a day

Not very craziest but u know, closest thing to an accident I've come.
>be working at a company that sells lightbulbs and other lights for vechiles
>recieves alot of returns for xenon ballasts
>needs to be tested
>co worker is stupid (just stupid, like dumb)
>goes tro try a xenon ballast
>somehow manages to act as a connection between the lamp and the ballast
> 25kV shock

he just got chocked but was fine.
Lesson: don't add power until everyone is clear

>>819274
I work with union steelworkers, it seems that union contractors (carpenters, plumbers, electricians) are a lot more skilled / professional than unions that work in a factory where they know they can't get fired. We only fire union employees in extreme circumstances.

>maintenance guy on nights is also a licensed plumber
>plumbing job during the day
>come in at night, work for 3 hours, sleep for 5, lie on time card
>was only ratted out because he was caught sleeping in someone else's special chair
>in his underwear
>I can not express in words how dirty our plant is
>all this is also caught on camera

I've worked in manual labor from 16 - 25 and have seen and been in a lot of accidents. Now that I've had a comfy desk job for a couple years I've forgotten a lot.

This is before I knew what an MSDS was or PPE:
>>First job as a lot attendant at a car dealership.
>>Spend hours washing wheels with "mystery acid"
>>Come home everyday with acid burns on my legs and arms.
>>Surprise OSHA inspection forces dealership to remove mystery chemical from lot.

>>Work at my uncles farm putting up Prefabricated Arch Style steel shop.
>>Have to tighten bolts 3 stories in the air on every arch.
>>Cant afford knuckle boom or scissor lift so we use a man basket and forklift.
>>Be up in basket and leaning out to reach a bolt.
>>Forklift operator starts moving without my command and cant hear me say stop.
>>Steel bolt rams into my back 3/8" to 1/2" deep and drags for 7"-8" down my back.
>>Also nearly get dragged off basket.
>>Go back to the house and scare my aunt.
I should have gotten stitches but I opted instead to lay on my stomach on the couch, watch Indiana Jones and have my aunt wait on me. I got all the cool-aid I wanted and didn't have to work on a shitty 100F day. The scar is gnarly but it's faded over the years.

>>Work at home depot on night shift.
>>Everyone gathers around a fat fuck as he tries to "win" the 12 soft taco challenge.
>>Watch him eat 9 and give up.
>>Has to leave work because he's sick.
>>Boss watched him eat and cheered him on.
>>Everyone has to pick up the slack.

>>Be a plumbing apprentice.
>>Water heater in basement wont drain due to clogged drain valve.
>>Be 185lbs and have to haul 3/4 full water heater up stairs on a dolly.
>>Google says water heater weighed between 280-310lbs.
>>Water heater falls off dolly at 3 steps from top.
>>Sounds like house is falling down.

I was so afraid and full of Adrenalin that I pulled the entire thing back to ground level in half the time. I have years more worth of material. Let me know if you want more. Char limit.

>>819274

Quality depends on the company. I've contracted union workers for most of my superintendent career and have had my share shitty experiences.

If the local provides me with a bunch of shitty labor I'll slap the shop with a failure to perform notice and install dual gates to get a high quality non-union shop if the budget allows.

To be clear, the average American worker is underpaid and unions are critical to empower a household. But unfortunately by their nature they tend to be political pawns.

>>819252
hesus christos

>>819432
Working at a major airport doing a huge remodel job. The lead contractor knew not to trust mexican labors around toilets. All of the facilities, toilets and sinks, were covered in plywood boxes anchored to the floor and then walled away behind More plywood and then the normally-open entryway was covered by a scratch-built door made of plywood and kept locked. Contractors checked in and out on a list inside, on pain of being sent off-site.

So the filthy asbestos-removal renta-mex guys spent at least a week peeing in a cut-off rainwater pipe before someone found the room in the basement where the Other cut-off end was dumping it.

>>819452
thanks for giving me incentive to never travel anywhere near the southern half of the United States

>>819405
ofcourse we want more anon

I was on an oil rig that got hit by a pretty big water spout. I was on the deck until the last second and then ducked inside. It was probably the coolest thing that's happened at work.

>>819457
> implying Mexicans don't live from Washington state to Florida, California to Maine.

I make furniture

>Cutting small pieces with a miter saw
>Use a scrap stick to hold them down them down while cutting them in half (they were about 3 inches wide and had to cut without a table saw)
>First one cuts
>Second one cuts then breaks off sending large shards of wood flying in all directions, some bounce off the wall and hit me in the face.

I need a fucking table saw.

>>819515
why don't you use your fucking hands to hold them down?

>>819529
Because I'm sure he enjoys being able to count to 10 without using his toes.

>>819549
Well did he mean 3" long or 3" wide? Either way, that's plenty room to hold down with your hands.

>>818067
I'm sure he just threw it back in the box and blamed the shipper. I've taken in or rejected a fair share of packages. Got a 20L leaking drum of chloroform, looked like it got run over by a truck, figured fuck it and used it to fill the can that just happened to empty out that day. Also once rejected some tert butyl lithium that came in one day, box crushed, can in box crushed, bottle of stuff in the can who knows, I wasn't about to crack it open and expose it to air to find out. I assume it went all the way back, I just wondered what would happen if the bottle busted open though I guess it probably would have been flaming death before it got to me.

>>819552
u srs nigga

>>819557
>can't into preventing kickback on small workpieces
I think you are in the wrong board