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/diy/ - Do It Yourself

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File: 1.42 MB, 2700x2051, White-tailed_deer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1325640 No.1325640 [Reply] [Original]

I've been going hunting with my buddy and I've been thinking about ways to not waste the animal. Does anyone have any experience with making condoms from intestines? Like goat or lamb skin condoms you can buy in stores.

I'm not sure how you close off the end. Like tie a knot or something. We would obviously clean them up first.

Do you think there would be any nature hippies interested in buying them? Market them as organic natural condoms or something.

Thoughts?

>> No.1325645

Fuck you

>> No.1325656

>>1325640
Think of the liability of unplanned pregnancy when your deer shit tube condom breaks. Use the intestine to make sausage.

>> No.1325657
File: 56 KB, 552x552, dafuq.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1325657

>>1325640

>> No.1325660

>>1325640
>ways to not waste the animal.

have sex with it just before it dies. give it one last good fuck before it dies, never getting dick again

>> No.1325663

>>1325640
WTF
Hey honey
I just cleaned the shit out of these intestines
Now let me fuck you with them. They’re safe and effective, trust me.
Com’on OP.

>> No.1325739
File: 24 KB, 300x300, 1501976977524.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1325739

Alright lads. I came up with a better idea. Instead of going out and hunting deer we can just use road kill. That's right, roadkill condoms. I'd patent this idea if I knew how to.

>> No.1325741

>>1325640
A real thread died for this.

>> No.1325819
File: 173 KB, 322x540, Natural_lamb_3ct_Front.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1325819

These things do exist, you guys realize?

>>1325640
You could, but I'm pretty sure hippies don't give a fuck about protection, and the people who would be into it probably won't buy your homemade ones when safer commercial variants exist.

>> No.1325872

>>1325640
Why not make sausage instead?
I don't know what other countries use, but intestines make the best sausage skin.

>> No.1325890

>>1325640
You can use intenstines for things other than condoms.
A short, non-exclusive list is;
>>1325872
sausage casings
Pudding and haggis casings
a source of collagen
authentic stringed instrument cores for larpy types
cordage that shrinks when dry similar to tendon
making waterproof oilskin when impregnated with fat and properly cured.

I also feel morally obligated to tell you that intestine condoms don't stop STD transferral, only pregnancy. The semi-permeable barrier lets prokaryotic cells straight through.

>> No.1325919

>>1325819
My bedroom still.smells.like a kebab stand.

>> No.1325920

>>1325640
I've done this successfully in my bitcoin miner shipping container. The heat keeps the deer guts warm and pliable. Allow the intestines to age in the carcass for six weeks minimum. After harvesting your condoms you can grind up the rest to make imitation crab meat.

>> No.1327066

>>1325872
gee bill
two wieners?

>> No.1327183

I'd stick to sausage and strings.

>> No.1327235

>>1325920
when you use them, does your partner know you're a pro?

>> No.1327563

>>1325640
>mfw in neighboring deer stand on property line.
>facing my side of course
>hear gunshot
>hrmm. Wander if the neighbors got a monsters
>scope up and have a looksy
>anon has still warm intestines
>thefuck.jpg
>...y...you gut it to feild dress it but what is he...
>anon custs a chunck off an shoves it over his 1 inch dick
>vomiting now. Unable to look away
>watch him and his hunting buddy rail each other with deer intestines on their dicks
>watch them leace a nice 12 point buck on the ground
>between shaking ans comiting i have to record or nobody will believe me
>never hunt again