/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9994958]

FOR ALL AMERICANS.
Some things you have to know.
1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
2. Alfredo Fettuccine is not a thing.
3. Never ever fry bologna
4.Instead of “Sunday Gravy,” order Neapolitan ragù or bolognese sauce.
5. You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.
6.You finish cooking pasta in its sauce after you have drained it from the boiled water; you never dollop the one on top of the other.
7.You cannot brag about other people's food.
8. Do not claim you food as italian.
9. We're still friends if you respect this.

[Anonymous No.9994968]

>>9994958
>Implying any American cares about being your friend

[Anonymous No.9994977]

>>9994958
Imblying we care what you think. Have fun with your Mohammeds and weekly terrorist attacks.

[Anonymous No.9994981]

Cacoe de pepe with shrimp or lobster though?

[Anonymous No.9994990]

>>9994968
>>9994977
>this is how americans dont care

[Anonymous No.9994996]

you haven't respect for our culture.

[Anonymous No.9995006]

>>9994968
You're like you ugly president.

[Anonymous No.9995008]

>>9994958
>Not knowing an Americano is Italian and changed names during WWII only due to it's popularity among GIs
>Thick noodle used to stand up to a this sauce
>Fried bologna is a deep South thing and can be good if paired correctly like with whole grain mustard and swiss
>Thinking Americans know actual Bolognese sauce
>Scampi is a cream sauce but no cheese is retarded logic also brodo broth is excellent with shrimp and is at it's base a cheese sauce since parm rinds are where it gets it's flavor
I can be down with the other stuff

[Anonymous No.9995015]

>>9995008
you can be Down, indeed

[Anonymous No.9995016]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.

So you brew it in liquid nitrogen or what?

[Anonymous No.9995020]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
What? You eat roasted beans without water?
>2. Alfredo Fettuccine is not a thing.
We make it, so it exists. Stop breaking reality.
>3. Never ever fry bologna
Agreed.
>4.Instead of “Sunday Gravy,” order Neapolitan ragù or bolognese sauce.
Red sauces vary from establish to establishment because we don't all obsess over tradition.
>5. You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.
If you are from Italy than you haven't traveled around much...
>6.You finish cooking pasta in its sauce after you have drained it from the boiled water; you never dollop the one on top of the other.
Preference; especially if you're talking about fresh vs dried. I prefer not stirring or tossing pasta that is fresh. You're starting to make me think you're a retard.
>7.You cannot brag about other people's food.
You're fucktarded if you don't learn from others.
>8. Do not claim you food as italian.
Most Italians aren't cannibals?
>9. We're still friends if you respect this.
By "we" do you mean the country you're trying to speak for, or ignorant and controlling ass?

[Anonymous No.9995025]

>>9995020
>You're starting to make me think you're a retard.
the irony

[Anonymous No.9995046]

>durr you cannot change anything! Change and innovation is wrong!

This OP is literally why Italy is such a shithole. Quit living in the past.

[cccchiaraaaaa No.9995048]

bah

[Anonymous No.9995052]

>>9994958
>Do not claim you food as italian.
Why would anyone claim their food is shit willingly?

[Anonymous No.9995053]

>>9994958
>Sunday Gravy
What?

[Anonymous No.9995057]

>>9995052
mutt genetics

[Anonymous No.9995064]

>>9995020
Who is she?

[Anonymous No.9995080]

>>9995064
Don't know, found her here. I just posted it because any reasonable human loves ass.

[anonima No.9995083]

>>9995064
Kim Kardashian

[Anonymous No.9995090]

>>9995083
No, that one looks real and like she has likely been around the block less.

[Anonymous No.9995100]

[Anonymous No.9995107]

>>9995020

that skinny bitch aint that fine

[Anonymous No.9995120]

>>9995090
is that brains

[Anonymous No.9995127]

>>9995120
are you a zombie

[Anonymous No.9995128]

>>9995100
top kek how will they ever recover

[Anonymous No.9995146]

>>9995107
Is he trying to pork the porker or smugly smiling while he uses her as a human shield?

I love how we've followed the inherent rule of eventually every internet discussion, even food, will end up related to sexuality. But seriously, someone at least post a picture of people smearing cake on each other.

[Anonymous No.9995150]

>>9995120
Homemade butter and strawberry jam, but not like goober.

[name No.9995162]

>>9995128
>128▶
>>>9995100

[Anonymous No.9995168]

>>9995162
>foreskin not included

[Anonymous No.9995287]

>>9995020
>semi-literate rambling
KYS. OP is correct on all counts.

[Anonymous No.9995306]

>>9995287
Sometimes it's so hard to tell if it's an obsessed Euro or a cuck American.

Can't you all just fuck already and get along?

[Anonymous No.9995343]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.

coffee is by definition water with solids from coffee beans dissolved in it
fucking retard

[Anonymous No.9995357]

>>9994958
get over yourself and enjoy your muslim invasion, dickhead.

[Anonymous No.9995570]

>>9994968
This. Why would I care about someone's opinions I'm literally never going to meet.

[Anonymous No.9995634]

>>9994958
Fuck off Wop

[Anonymous No.9995703]

>>9995100
Spanish is the most revolting language

[Anonymous No.9995717]

>>9994958
What about shrimp alfredo?

[Anonymous No.9995725]

>>9994958
You're trying way too hard m8. Here's your (you)

[Anonymous No.9995728]

>>9995020
>>9995064
I second the request for sauce.
That ass is fantastic.

[Anonymous No.9995744]

>>9995728
nigger

[Anonymous No.9995810]

>>9994958
>Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water
Make some sense you Mussolini loving noodle slopping Mamma mia shouting mafioso
>alfredo fettuccine is not a thing
It is since we created it.
>never ever fry bologna
Easy for you to say until you've tried some Oscar Myer. It needs the help.
>Sunday Gravy
Never heard of it.
>no cheese seafood pasta
I happen to know not all Italians are this autistic.
>pasta in sauce to finish
Agreed.
>Cannot brag about other people's food.
I am guessing you mean Americans claiming Italian food items or dishes? That's fine, you give us all of ours back first, greasy Tony.
>Do not claim you food as Italian
see above
>We're still friends if you respect this.
Most of it is retarded. Go back to your metro apartment with postmodern decor and try on some more effeminate clothing.

[Anonymous No.9995834]

>>9994968
Fpbp

[Anonymous No.9995850]

amerimutts have no good original food, just plastic imitations of other cultures and sugary/fatty garbage i wouldn't feed the dog
prove me wrong(protip, you can't)

[Anonymous No.9995852]

You're a fucking child who thinks you know everything about the world through a combination of watching lots of television, spending time on the internet and being absolutely in love with your own sense of superiority.

[Anonymous No.9995854]

>>9995834
>all this non caring thread
literally obsessed

[Anonymous No.9995887]

Bumping this quality thread!

[Anonymous No.9995929]

>>9994981
What is this picture of? Aspic? Holodetz?

[Anonymous No.9995939]

[Anonymous No.9995953]

>>9994958
>Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water
pretty sure it should have both
> Alfredo Fettuccine
Americans say 'fettuccine alfredo', never heard anyone say it in the opposite order
>Never ever fry bologna
Never tried, nor have I had bologna since I was a young child, but why would this possibly make anyone mad?
WTF is "sunday gravy"? Americans eat bolognese and ragu all the time and what does that have to do with gravy?
> never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe
This surely isn't an american thing, Americans hold this dumb superstition just as strongly as euros

Also, don't forget that tomato is an American fruit, most of what you are known for didn't exist until America was discovered, and many of your internationally recognized dishes were made and popularized by Italian immigrants in America and American media

[Anonymous No.9995970]

>>9995953
Lmao we made tomato our bitch long before your country was even a thing
We might owe it to the American continent, but we also discovered it so technically all of it is our property and we do whatever we want with it.

[Anonymous No.9995988]

>>9995970
Please expand on how Italy discovered the tomato. Italy wasn't even a country then. It was just a bunch of backwater provinces of the germans and spanish, and a collection of some church lands

[Anonymous No.9995998]

average american food webm:
for the sauce add:
>hamburger helper
>brown sugar
>50% sugar rustic southern bbq sauce
atleast we can take solace in knowing that all the mutts here will die of diabetes soon

[Anonymous No.9996003]

>>9995988
t. amerimutt historian

[Anonymous No.9996006]

>>9995988
To your average Euroteen pre-unification Italy only selectively exists as an entity when it's convenient.

[Anonymous No.9996008]

>>9995988
I would BTFO your ass but im in bed already and its late
Go check tomato history on wiki and BTFO yourself
Tomorrow i will demolish any pathetic attemp you might have made as a comeback

[Anonymous No.9996016]

>>9994958
>3. Never ever fry bologna
But that's the only way to make it actually taste edible.

[Anonymous No.9996018]

>>9996003
Even the peoples of what is now called Italy didn't really have a concept of Italy being a thing until a couple hundred years ago, after the US was already a thing

[Anonymous No.9996034]

>>9995970
the tomato is native to south america. go to bed pastanigger

[Anonymous No.9996036]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
good thing i pour boiled gatorade over my coffee beans. eat my clean, large american dick, i love americano.
>2. Alfredo Fettuccine is not a thing.
no one cares
>3. Never ever fry bologna
baloney sucks
>4.Instead of “Sunday Gravy,” order Neapolitan ragù or bolognese sauce.
literally who
>5. You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.
fair enough
>6.You finish cooking pasta in its sauce after you have drained it from the boiled water; you never dollop the one on top of the other.
literally every competent cook knows this, you're not some genius chef
>7.You cannot brag about other people's food.
don't flatter yourself
>8. Do not claim you food as italian.
don't flatter yourself
>9. We're still friends if you respect this.
don't flatter yourself
>10. O B S E S S E D
i mean, obviously

[Anonymous No.9996047]

>>9995080
Hot & Ready

[Anonymous No.9996058]

>>9996018
>implying people only magically come into existence when a nation state is formed
anon, many italian states in the early modern era enjoyed being outside of the spheres of the austrians, french and catalonians. Similarly, some states developed many gastronomical(pasta, widespread use of tomatos etc), and non gastronomical(see renaissance). Just because italy as a political identity did not just exist as of yet does not disallow various subcultures and precursor states from developing ideas.

[Anonymous No.9996060]

>>9996008
The first recorded Italian sources referencing tomato in a recipe directly refers to its use in Spain (over 100 years after the spanish brought it back from America), the spanish learning of it from the Aztecs

[Anonymous No.9996063]

>>9994958
>not frying bologna
go fuck yourself

[Anonymous No.9996066]

>>9995006
Our president is based and you’re not, darky.

[Anonymous No.9996068]

>>9994958
1. What? Are you implying I dilute my coffee like some little bitch, or is there a piece I'm missing here?
2. Who cares if it's a thing? Good sauce over good noodles
3. ok, i guess
4. what the fuck is sunday gravy
5. wasn't planning on it
6. that sounds a lot better; i'll start doing it that way
7. >>>/tumblr/
8. "Americanized Italian" just doesn't quite have the same ring to it. I'm going to call it Italian, but everyone who isn't a fucking retard knows what I mean.
9. lol

[Anonymous No.9996070]

>>9996058
If the nation state they belong to doesn't matter then why would the many many Italians who came to America and established the modern form of the cuisine not count?

[Anonymous No.9996083]

Ok, I think the real question is what the fuck is Sunday gravy and why do you think this is a concept most Americans would be familiar with?

[Anonymous No.9996097]

>>9996070
>If the nation state they belong to doesn't matter then why would the many many Italians who came to America and established the modern form of the cuisine not count?
>modern form of the cuisine
your logic is sound anon, but all the 'italian americans' have done is devolved the food into a cesspit of grease, fat, and sugar to appeal to the mainstream mutt tastebuds.
because of this it is not italian food, but amerimutt food inspired by italian dishes

[Anonymous No.9996116]

>>9996097
While there is much of that, the fact is much of "Italian" food came from American media, and the tourists going to Italy looking for shit that the media told them Italy should have since Italian Americans were associated with it

The fact is, no one in Italy would be eating or making pizza if Americans hadn't invented and popularized it and told the entire world it was an Italian thing.
italy has pretty good food, but it is very historically intertwined with America, and its pretty hard to establish which group invented which dish

[Anonymous No.9996128]

All Americans in this thread
All the other countries actually really like you
They are just tsundere
Why do you think they constantly talk about you and act out around yoy
They love you they want your attention

[Anonymous No.9996131]

>>9995850
Whatever you say, faggot.

[Anonymous No.9996143]

>>9995850
keep eating that mcdonalds thats down the street euroboy ;)

[Anonymous No.9996145]

what's wrong with cheese and seafood

[Anonymous No.9996162]

whiter then you, achmed

[Anonymous No.9996175]

>>9996116
>the fact is much of "Italian" food came from American media
by 'italian' food you mean peperoni pizza etc? i can tell you almost no-one eats that here, the only places that sell it are in major tourist areas to try and get dumb tourist money. you are right there are many variants of italian food created by americans, but they are not eaten here so they can not be called actual italian food

[Anonymous No.9996179]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water
So what are you supposed to use as solvent for the caffeine? Acetone?

[Anonymous No.9996188]

Why are non Americans so obsessed with us
Do you guys love us
>>9996175
It's made by Italians
It's Italian food

[Anonymous No.9996194]

>>9994958
>Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
wait... what? do you not use water to make espresso? do you not use coffee to make drip coffee here?

[Anonymous No.9996207]

>>9996175
Pizza in general was only popularized in Italy because of America

Keep in mind that Italy is basically just one big tourist trap

[Anonymous No.9996212]

>>9996162
>>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.9996213]

>>9994958
as an italian... what in the flying fuck are you on?

[Anonymous No.9996214]

All Americans in this thread
Don't listen to these gay Italian fucks
They eat maggot cheese and tuna sperm

[Anonymous No.9996246]

>>9996188
>'italians'
if i add dogfood from a can and brown sugar to a malay curry does it make it malaysian food?
>>9996207
*source lacking*
where i live we have been eating marinara pizza since before italians even made the mistake of leaving to your shithole country

[Anonymous No.9996251]

>>9996246
>where i live we have been eating marinara pizza
I seriously doubt this

[Anonymous No.9996274]

>>9994958
This is the most idiotic list I've read in awhile. Fuck off, no one wants to be friends with idiots who give people idiotic ultimatums.

[Anonymous No.9996341]

>>9994958
>9. We're still friends if you respect this.
Get the fuck out you piece of shit.

USA! USA! USA!

[Anonymous No.9996362]

>>9996246
If you are Malaysian and the dish becomes known
Yes

[Anonymous No.9996378]

>>9995057
hurr durr look at our air dried ham, literally every country in the world has better food, even Russia and all their recipes call for their food to be padded out with 80% dirt. But muh seafood, bitch please, all the seafood is from Sicily a place where they don't even speak Italian.

[Anonymous No.9996799]

>>9994958
>Never ever fry bologna
Fuck right off lobster back.

[Anonymous No.9996821]

>>9996128
cute

[Anonymous No.9996832]

>>9995080
that's a negress.

[Anonymous No.9996885]

>>9994958
>FOR ALL AMERICANS.

Alright! Here we go!
>Some things you have to know.
OK, I'm listening ...
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
Coffee is mostly water.

>2. Alfredo Fettuccine is not a thing.
No, but Fettuccine Alfredo is.

>3. Never ever fry bologna
Why not? It's delicious. The shit that passes as bologna here (especially the stuff which tastes similar and is labeled "baloney") needs all the help it can get. A bit of char can help a lot.

>4.Instead of “Sunday Gravy,” order Neapolitan ragù or bolognese sauce.
I've never heard of Sunday Gravy. The fuck is that? If all Americans should take this advice, then why is it not a thing anywhere that I have lived?

>5. You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.
Bullshit. I lived in Italy for a while. There were plenty cheese-on-pasta dishes.

>6.You finish cooking pasta in its sauce after you have drained it from the boiled water; you never dollop the one on top of the other.
Again, that's not necessarily true. I have seen as much first-hand in Italy.

>7.You cannot brag about other people's food.
Brag? Maybe not. But one can rave about it.

>8. Do not claim you food as italian.
I don't, except when it's a recipe I learned when I lived in Italy.

>9. We're still friends if you respect this.
Then get your fucking facts straight.

You also never specified which region of Italy, which sauces cannot be added after, and you've gotten so much wrong. It's what you get for generalizing: You show how much of a fucking moron you are.

[Anonymous No.9996913]

Let's just pretend that the US has an inferior palate. What is your end result to pointing this out? What do you gain?

[Anonymous No.9996926]

>>9994958
>No. 9
fuck you. i don't want to be your friend. you are very controlling.

[Anonymous No.9996942]

>>9994958
what the fuck is "Sunday Gravy"

[Anonymous No.9996951]

>>9994958
Coffee doesn't have water in it? That's news to me. Must be hard to drink.

[Anonymous No.9996958]

If being a "foody" means turning into a pretentious literal faggot like you, i'll eat gruel for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous No.9996967]

>>9996942
It's just what Italian Americans call tomato sauce with alot of meat simmered in
It's Basically Neapolitan Ragu

[Anonymous No.9996970]

>>9996942
red sauce made with meatballs, neck bones, sausages, basically a bunch of delicious meats of your choice.

[Anonymous No.9997050]

Fuck every single one of you. I do what I want.

[Anonymous No.9997084]

>>9994958
Whiter than you, Mohammed

[Anonymous No.9997160]

>>9995100
Italy:
>refugees
>a bad economy
>tiny cars
>tiny apartments
Yeah, Italians sure do have it better.

[Anonymous No.9997168]

>>9994958
>Alfredo Fettuccine is not a thing.
If this was an American invention it just proves we beat you at your own fucking game.

Btw your wine is shit.

[Anonymous No.9997436]

>>9994958
Its pretty old fashioned what you say and I like it
Much RESPECT

[Anonymous No.9997450]

>>9994958
/ck/ needs flags

[Anonymous No.9997930]

>>9996378
lmao mutt geography at work, only knows places where his ancestors came from

[Anonymous No.9997976]

>>9994958
>>9995006
>do not claim you food
>you're like you ugly president

they even talk-a like retarrrrds

[Anonymous No.9997994]

>>9994958
nice flag

[Anonymous No.9998098]

>>9997976
Lmao BTFO forever

[Anonymous No.9998102]

>>9994958
>Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
Stopped reading there. OP has a severe case of the downs.

[Anonymous No.9998127]

>>9998102
bcoz ur fuckin retarded matey

[Anonymous No.9998153]

>>9994958
Only faggots create rules for food.

[Anonymous No.9999942]

>>9994958
>1. Coffee should actually have coffee in it not water.
Large cups of coffee are just more satisfying if you're drinking it along with breakfast, espresso is finished too quickly.

[Anonymous No.9999950]

>>9998153
This. So much.

[Anonymous No.10000100]

>>9994958
greight beight meight, if this wuz real I'd rate it KANG

[Anonymous No.10000494]

>>9995100
>literally who: the language

[Anonymous No.10000518]

>>9994958
A lot of American-Italian dishes are better than a lot of actual Italian dishes

[Anonymous No.10001065]

>>9994958

>You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.
>He's never had lobster macaroni and cheese
>He thinks he knows seafood because of his shitty Mediterranian grouper
>mfw