Al/ck/ - Shakes and Fear at the Office Edition

[Anonymous No.9955428]

I think we should start out with that wojak pic again

[Anonymous No.9955435]

>>9955428

[Anonymous No.9955444]

Whenever I had a steady job I would be OK as far as staying busy and budgeting my drinking time. Its just when theres so much free time is when i go nuts. Dont understand how you fulltime people cant just wait til work is over and drink 6-7 drinks and call it a night.

[Anonymous No.9955447]

>>9955444
we drink at work, mr dubs and trips

[Anonymous No.9955458]

any of you queers even play beer pong

[Anonymous No.9955463]

>>9955428
WojaLk, anon.

Also, 3am needs to be shot.

[Anonymous No.9955465]

>>9955447
Why? because youre physically dependent? IS that the whole reason?

[Anonymous No.9955473]

>>9955465
>why do people drink

idk man its a mystery

[Anonymous No.9955493]

>>9955473
Most people with jobs wait til after work to drink. Alcohol is one of *the* worst choices of drugs to use while at work.

You're a tard. Cant answer a simple question.

[Anonymous No.9955507]

>Cant answer a simple question

because you know the answer to it, alckies drink at work because they like alcohol and they think they can get away with it
how is this even a question

[Anonymous No.9955518]

>>9955493
what?? i mean sure getting wasted at work is bad but you do realize like 15% of the work force has a drink or two at lunch?

my company has free wine and beer in the cafeteria, the kitchen, and on the office floors

[Anonymous No.9955523]

>>9955507
I never drank at work unless I was going through bad withdrawals. And that was rare. People who think its cute to bring vodka in a sprite bottle and drink at their desk just baffle me. Why risk your job over something as stupid as alcohol?

[Anonymous No.9955526]

Posting some drinking music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W16TQO-h-yo

[Anonymous No.9955530]

>>9955518
We are talking about covert, excessive drinking.

[Anonymous No.9955531]

>>9955523
>>9955507
>>9955493

you poor guys work at such shitty, impoverished, high-strung jobs that you can't drink at work

t. tech master race

[Anonymous No.9955544]

>>9955531
Piss off. You can't drink more than one IPA per shift or youll be canned.

[Anonymous No.9955546]

>>9955531
>alcoholic dick waving about jobs they likely are barely clinging to

[Anonymous No.9955547]

MY NECK IS SO TENSE

[Anonymous No.9955555]

>>9955547
>tfw can't keep legs or hands still because you feel like you have a low voltage running through your entire nervous system

[Anonymous No.9955562]

/Sucide general/

[Anonymous No.9955563]

>>9955555
THOSE FUCKING DIGITS

[Anonymous No.9955588]

I had a hangover yesterday. I had gone 8 days before nye, got shitrocked and tapered with a 12er after that. Then sober again till a day before yesterday when I drank a bunch of wine. first time I’ve ever enjoyed a hangover.

[Anonymous No.9955593]

I think the only reason these threads don't get banned is because the Jews that own 4chan want the extra traffic so they can sell advertising for more.

[Anonymous No.9955598]

>>9955593
I bet you are a lot of fun at parties

[Anonymous No.9955600]

Just made an Obituary
2 oz gin
1/4 oz vermouth
1/4 oz absinthe

P good, fampai. I’ve been in a cocktail mood lately

[Anonymous No.9955607]

>>9955555

[Anonymous No.9955610]

There is literally and I mean literally no better drink than ice water.

[Anonymous No.9955624]

>>9955610
what about LIME CUCUMBER GATORADDEEEEE

NUESTRO SABOR MI CALIENTE PAPI PAPI MI CORAZONE ES EN FUEGO

[Anonymous No.9955637]

>>9955600
up ur game man stop going to trader joes, cool pernod tho

[Anonymous No.9955640]

>>9955546
>>9955544
u r both right friends :-(

[Anonymous No.9955643]

>>9955624
I love that gatorade. It has saved me so many times.

[Anonymous No.9955651]

>>9955637
I’m a newb for vermouth. What would you recommend for beginner person getting into cocktails?
I like Uncle Val’s stuff. After this bottle, I’m going Leopold Bros for my next gin.

[Anonymous No.9955654]

This beer tastes like I'm drinking beer for the first time (it tastes like shit). Don't fall for the microbreweries meme.

[Anonymous No.9955670]

>>9955610
I said that and then threw up about 2 gallons of water. Fuck me.

[Anonymous No.9955693]

>>9955428
havent drank since oct 22nd. not that i drank everyday just once-2x friday and/or saturday

[Anonymous No.9955704]

>>9955693
Why even stop if you’re not a problem drinker?

[Anonymous No.9955705]

>cucumber gatorade

[Anonymous No.9955713]

>>9955704
idk i drank like 20ish beers on a friday or saturday then id be hungover for 2 days and didnt remember anything. always felt bad even if i did nothing

[Anonymous No.9955749]

>>9955428
Gunna hate myself tomorrow. Just fell off after 6 weeks. Just got a new job payin $10 more an hour for doin the same thing. Spose i feel a little guilty cause where i am now is a local family business who are good to me. But the corporations pay better in my industry. 6am start rather than 2am. $10 more an hour..... reeeeee. Very conflicted and the buzz is starting to hit.
Not sure if im happy or sad.

[Anonymous No.9955780]

>>9955518
Your job sounds awesome. When I worked at a call center, the office was within walking distance of a bar that had a happy hour during the time I got my lunch everyday. $1 beers. I would always go for the highest ABV they had (usually blue moon) and pound 3-4 of them before stumbling back to the office. My apartment was also very close to my work, so I walked home whenever I drank.

I fucking hated that job so the only time I looked forward to was my lunch hour. Now I work in a kitchen and am somewhat happier, albeit physically exhausted at the end of the day. Better than the mental exhaustion of telephone customer service.

[Anonymous No.9955808]

>>9955749
You already drank. Now move on to plan B which is do NOT let it turn into a bender. And do NOT go to work drunk tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.9955818]

>>9955808
listen to this guy>>9955749

[Anonymous No.9955840]

who else here just fuckin eats instead of drinking?

[Anonymous No.9955864]

>>9955840
90% of this board. Theyre just as sick as us alcoholics.

[Anonymous No.9955868]

drunks love talking about drinking
sober people love talking about not drinking
regular people talk about it when it suits the conversation

[Anonymous No.9955869]

>>9955840
Exact opposite

[Anonymous No.9955878]

Was just throwing up and pissed myself.

[Anonymous No.9955880]

>>9955808
Thanks for caring mang. Will finish this week at current job. New job on monday. Only bought 2 bottles of wine and a long neck. Not much. Early starts make me tired so im not up for a bender. Just not sure how to quit current job. I feel like i am selling out.

[Anonymous No.9955881]

overdid it on sunday lads capping off a little bender, spent all day today in bed. I wish I were normal

[Anonymous No.9955890]

>>9955881
Reèèeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........ whats normal?

[Anonymous No.9955899]

>>9955593
Fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.9955901]

Anyone get kinda sad that the /alc/ thread is pretty much the only consistent thread on /ck/ and it hits threshold incredibly fast?

I feel like this thread could be on any board and it'd still be just me and the guys : (

[Anonymous No.9955917]

>>9955840
I do both

[Anonymous No.9955922]

>>9955881
>tfw you finally break down and cry while piss ass drunk at 2am because you finally realize can't just stop and you just want to be normal

[Anonymous No.9955923]

>>9955890
not getting hammered every night and being able to hold down a steady job I would say is a step in the right direction

[Anonymous No.9955925]

>>9955901
almost surprised that /r9k/ doesn't have an /alc/ thread

[Anonymous No.9955926]

>>9955593
Seriously?
Never under estimate empathy.
Most are taught not to care about anything bar themselves.
Drunks are by far, the most intelligent empathetic people i have met. Hence aa as a gatekeeper to sobriety.

[Anonymous No.9955945]

>>9955926
maybe some. i think the majority of drunks would be malignant narcissists

[Anonymous No.9955946]

>>9955923
Well then im a god damn fuckin normie.
If you good at what you do, even as a drunk, you will still get work. Fuck i drive trucks and heavy machinery, still workin never fired.

[Anonymous No.9955952]

>>9955945
Like the rest of humanity?

[Anonymous No.9955959]

>>9955952
most likely

[Anonymous No.9955967]

>>9955878
Level up

[Anonymous No.9955975]

>>9955869
same

[Anonymous No.9955979]

>>9955946
Well bar that time i blew 0.197 at 9am after using a 70tonne compactor for 3 hours.
Was casual so they didnt want me back.
Eh worked out. Hated that job.

[Anonymous No.9955980]

>>9955946
My mother is an enabler. She supports me when I'm out of work and I barely have the motivation to quit as a result. My blood work is all fucked up though so I'm getting scared enough that I might end this soon

[Anonymous No.9955987]

>>9955945
you'd think the majority of actual drunks would have a pretty crippled ego

[Anonymous No.9955995]

>>9955987
this is why LSD helps

[Anonymous No.9955999]

>>9955987
Yeah nah some truth there. But life is life you gotta roll and not dwell. Sure we fuck up drunk..... cmon lol. Sober people fuck up sober. . Lol that is more shameful.

[Anonymous No.9956000]

Why does going out to the bars and getting absolutely annihilated feel like such an adventure?

I remember I would absolutely relish the idea of going out barhopping and getting totally annihilated.

I'm trying to stay sober, but man, the bar scene was always my week point. It felt like the start of something big but always ended...well you guys know.

[Anonymous No.9956014]

>>9956000
its fun because you end up doing stuff you wouldnt do usually. like ending up in strange beds, or doing strange drugs, or meeting strange people.

[Anonymous No.9956020]

>>9955980
Dont be a victim bro. Fuck it all, man up. You say you wanna pussy out... da fuq man. You got nothing to lose, make it glorious. Hit on every wo/man you see.
Just be happy and nice its easy and people will love you for it.

[Anonymous No.9956028]

>>9956014
I remember I once ended up grinding with this semihot asian chick that was like 38 (24 at the time and recent single) I think I grabbed her ass but I was too much of a baby to do anything.

Plus she had been with black guys, so ehh no thanks. Was still funny though, I was so trashed and all my friends were just laughing and shit. They busted my balls about it for a while.

[Anonymous No.9956034]

>that first wank after a weeklong bender where you don't wank at all
pretty sure a physical bucket emerged from my johnson

[Anonymous No.9956039]

>>9956014
I also once told some random girl she was an idiot straight to her face. She got all huffy and said "excuse me" so I called her an idiot again.

[Anonymous No.9956043]

>>9955925
that would involve leaving your house, also neetbux don't apply for alcohol/tobacco products.

they do have /sip/ threads tho

[Anonymous No.9956054]

>>9956034
>hangover horn

[Anonymous No.9956058]

>>9956028
>>9956039
i shouldn't be proud of these things. why do alcoholics love sharing their war stories in some feeble attempt to one up each other

[Anonymous No.9956059]

>>9956014
Check, check and check. But i dont remember.
Alcyhol sux.
My demon.

[Anonymous No.9956060]

>>9956034
when your sober beating it sort of seems like a chore, but shit I remember when I was withdrawing I would spend hours on /gif/

drinking truly fucks your brain haha

[Anonymous No.9956067]

>>9956058
If only i membered my stories. Only got broken bones and scars

[Anonymous No.9956068]

>>9956054
I usually don't start vomiting until after a successful fap.

[Anonymous No.9956087]

>>9956067
I never really hurt myself too bad.

Gnarly cut that bled for like 3 days when my suitemates and I smashed all of our shithead roommates plates when we "thought" he moved out and left all his shit.

Another time I lost my shoes at some hotel and jumped the fence to pool. I fell into a cactus. Found my shoes on the bottom of the pool the next day.

[Anonymous No.9956119]

>>9956058
>not wanting to know the perverse things people do
>not wanting to feel better about yourself since you're not as fucked up as others

[Anonymous No.9956131]

>>9956054
>spend all night not being able to get it up
>jizz within 30 seconds the following morning

[Anonymous No.9956134]

i got a staph infection and spent over a month in the hospital
not sure if it was strictly drinking related as it manifested itself 3 days after i stopped, but i think i got the wound drinknig and then not eating didn't help

[Anonymous No.9956140]

>>9956131
lmao

me on the right too fucking drunk to talk to anyone staring off into nothing, but not consciously realizing this so I approach some random chick and ask her what she thinks about the migrant crisis inbetween slurred words

[Anonymous No.9956146]

>>9956131
me on the right

[Anonymous No.9956149]

>>9956134
did you get rid of it? those can kill people.

[Anonymous No.9956158]

>I had FOUR. BEERS. last night /ck/, am I cool now?
these threads, man

[Anonymous No.9956160]

>>9956149
yeah took a week to clear up then i stayed on IV antibiotics fro another week.
the first couple days i think i almost could have died, went crazy and had to be strapped to the bed though but i spent most of next couple days sleeping anyway

[Anonymous No.9956167]

>>9956160
glad you lived, anon. hope you take better care of yourself hereout.

[Anonymous No.9956169]

Anyone else wake up utterly confused about where they are and feeling like they don't exist in the middle of the night?

Been happening a lot since I quit

[Anonymous No.9956189]

>>9956158
who are you quoting?

[Anonymous No.9956190]

>>9956158
You always been cool anon. Have you found somewhere to belong yet?

[Anonymous No.9956194]

>>9956169
yes. i would guess you also have sweaty clothes around your neck. its a symptom of your sympathetic nervous system being over-active.

[Anonymous No.9956198]

>>9956194
Yea I do get slightly sweaty. The physical aspect of wd is mostly over, but i just slam awake in almost panic mode just repeating "fuck, fuck fuck" until my brain puts the pieces together.

[Anonymous No.9956199]

>>9956169
no but I definitely have more nightmares

I have recurring ones about small animals biting my hands and feet or not being able to remember where to go for my next class despite not having been in school in a decade

[Anonymous No.9956208]

>>9956199
I don't remember them anymore but might nightmares were truly terrible. Just lots of gore and sexual violence. eghh

[Anonymous No.9956221]

>>9956198
same stuff happens to me a week after i stop drinking. it can last a while.

[Anonymous No.9956222]

>>9956087
Ya bled 4 3 days? Fuck man.
No one is this dumb/drunk.

[Anonymous No.9956231]

>>9956221
Yea that's about where I"m at. Slept through the night last night, for the first time in like 5 days so hopefully it's waning

[Anonymous No.9956237]

>>9956194
NO SYMPY

[Anonymous No.9956239]

>>9956222
Wasn't like squirting blood, just kept going through bandages

[Anonymous No.9956245]

>>9956239
maybe you're just bad at bandaging

[Anonymous No.9956257]

>>9956239
If i was still bleeding from a wound 72 hours later, i would ask for help. No shame.

[Anonymous No.9956266]

>>9956245
it was like on the palm of my hand near my thumb so i kept reopening it. plus it was an avulsion so there was no skin to close it over. Basically just sliced off a chunk

>>9956257
It wasn't a big wound man. maybe like half a centimer round

[Anonymous No.9956294]

>>9955925
>r9k
they have tons of booze threads. Though no /alc/ "general" like we have going here, it's really just a /ck/ tradition at this point.
Often when I see alcohol threads on other boards, some anons even direct people to come here.

[Anonymous No.9956360]

>>9956158
Every. Thread.

[Anonymous No.9956365]

>>9956068
I'm too terrified of raising my heart rate to jerk off.

[Anonymous No.9956449]

>>9956365
>die
>your corpse is found weeks later
>your rotting body lies there covered in semen with your hand down your pants
>"at least anon died doing what he loved"

[Anonymous No.9956483]

They say it's bad to drink beer after liquor, but what if you drink them at the same time?

>>9956449
semen would have dried by then

[Anonymous No.9956496]

>>9955428

[Anonymous No.9956497]

>>9956483
then whose semen would that have been

[Anonymous No.9956499]

>look at a jpg
>kinda looks like its melting
fug

[Anonymous No.9956517]

>>9956497

[Anonymous No.9956524]

>>9955458
lmfao no I stopped getting invited to parties when everytime I went to one i would make a fool of myself/almost die

[Anonymous No.9956535]

>>9955458
No

I've never been to one of those parties

[Anonymous No.9956536]

>>9956499
just add coke brah

ya amateur

[Anonymous No.9956596]

>>9956524
literally me

[Anonymous No.9956600]

>holiday's over
>started back at the office
>taking Vivitrol to kill the cravings
>everything is good at work alcohol-wise
>other than that it's a stressful day
>get home and crave booze like a fiend
>drink as much as I can initially but I lose interest because Vivitrol
>still stressed out
>drink some more
>feel ill like 'wtf is this shit'
>still stressed, mildly buzzed
>feels like I've ingested snail pellets
The ride never ends.

[Anonymous No.9956606]

>>9955458
I played it once in Bali. Or maybe it was in Thailand I can't remember.

[Anonymous No.9956610]

Okay guys, it's coming up on midnight here, do I go buy another six pack or is this my first step into tapering?

[Anonymous No.9956613]

>>9956610
Buy a six pack then taper tomorrow (today?) night. How much do you normally drink?

[Anonymous No.9956629]

>>9956613
Usually two and a half sixers of tallboys if I'm having a slow night in, try to save the extras for the next morning. Currently at number eight, so gonna be tough to quit now.

[Anonymous No.9956632]

>>9956536
wonder how much alcohol it would take to kill her. 2 beers?

[Anonymous No.9956640]

>>9956632
drinking a few glasses of wine before a shoot is a well known trade secret for models because it will dehydrate them enough so that they hit their low weight.

[Anonymous No.9956661]

Just had a very solid poo!

Who's jealous??

[Anonymous No.9956685]

What does al/ck/ look like?

[Anonymous No.9956690]

>>9956685

https://youtu.be/Mjr_AlR7YyI

[Anonymous No.9956691]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956694]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956698]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956707]

>>9955780
>call center
I know that feel, lad
Been doing it for 4 1/2 years, granted I work from home and make 50k but the work makes me want to slice my dick off

[Anonymous No.9956709]

>>9956691
I miss moot

[Anonymous No.9956710]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956711]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956714]

>>9956707
>call center
>50k
Ayy lad, same here but I have to commute to that absolute hell hole every day. The money isn't worth it for the pants on head retarded corporate shit we go through.

[Anonymous No.9956721]

>>9956714
I'm sorry, man. If I had to commute, I'd just find another fucking job. I lucked into it while I was still in college and stuck with it after they offered me a decent full-time spot.
What call center?

[Anonymous No.9956741]

>>9956721
Absolutely, I don't plan on staying. Right now it just helps with rent and booze. It's a tech-support call center for mining and oil companies when their shit breaks down. How about you bb?

[Anonymous No.9956760]

>>9956685
1.75l boi here
Excuse my shitty collar, I haven’t done laundry in weeks.

[Anonymous No.9956764]

>>9956741
I feel ya. Could be a lot worse. And huh, that actually sounds kind of interesting. What do you troubleshoot exactly, just software or hardware?
And I work for a large (LARGE) tech company providing technical support for specific software they provide.

[Anonymous No.9956770]

>>9956760
Absolutely fuck how the chins magic my photo sideways, fuck this.

[Anonymous No.9956776]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9956783]

>>9956760
Good to see you dude. You even combed the vomit out of your hair for the pic

[Anonymous No.9956784]

>>9956776
me on the right

[Anonymous No.9956785]

>finished muh movie, and my vodka
>it’s past hours but I have a handler in my car
>trying to work up the strength to throw my kittycat off of me and go smoke a stoge while I brave the cold and get it

[Anonymous No.9956789]

>>9956785
that is one cute cat, my friend
I say smoke and enjoy the cold. Take a shot while you're out there in it and breathe it all in

[Anonymous No.9956791]

>>9956776
My wife's son on the left

[Anonymous No.9956794]

>>9956783
Actually my gf left with the only comb we own. Au natuaral baby

[Anonymous No.9956795]

>>9956785
didn't know they made AE boxers in XL

[Anonymous No.9956802]

>>9956789
One for you, my new friend.
I’ll report back.
I just hate getting dressed just to walk out and back, but the stoge makes it worth it.
Is anyone else /comfy/ here?

[Anonymous No.9956803]

>>9955651
Not him, but I recommend Dolin.

Dolin Dry and Broker's martinis, wew lad

[Anonymous No.9956807]

>>9956795
Just L, but I know I’ve been letting myself go. Thanks for the affirmation, dude.

[Anonymous No.9956813]

>>9956802
Same dude you replied to and I am comfy as hell.
Still trying to cut back but seemingly stuck at 4 10% abv brews/night, which I don't really care about. Gets me fairly drunk, not gaining weight, still can wake up and run a decent amount. Watching Mad Men and it's raining outside. Comfy comfy.

[Anonymous No.9956822]

>tfw you no longer take in alcohol calories

[Anonymous No.9956829]

>>9956807
wew..that's a large? how is "obese" two sizes up from skinny?

[Anonymous No.9956834]

>>9956822
Man, I've been through this shit and it's wild. I've actually been watching my face puff up recently and it's sort of pissing me off.
I took a 6 month break and really got into running and fucking jesus, I don't think I've ever looked so good in my life. Lowkey just want to quit drinking just to lose the puff and bags off my face

[Anonymous No.9956844]

>>9956829
how you doing buddy? you taking out your frustrations you can't see your own dick?

[Anonymous No.9956848]

>>9956764
>What do you troubleshoot exactly, just software or hardware?
Both, if it breaks down and that exact part is no longer produced (90% of the time) we find an equivalent by running calculations, and if they can't navigate a menu on their crud covered hardware we pull up either a manual or a virtual piece of software and walk them through unfucking their shit.

Unrelated to al/ck/ but those companies have so much money to throw around it's surreal, because if they have a major breakdown they're going to loose bucket loads of money per minute.
>get a call from a technician on oil rig
>one of their super-large circuit breakers had failed, exploded
>they don't have any backups on standby - classic
>no worries, we have some in stock
>sobering up, realize they're on an oil rig
>time to calculate that shipping cost
>turns out to be $7k+ for same day air freight (logistics spiderweb: road + airplane + heli to the rig)
>technician said "no worries, here are the card details"
>hangs up
>process everything, and by the evening it was installed
I'm just a cog in the wheel.

[Anonymous No.9956854]

>>9956829
My guy, I don’t fucking know. Just let me hang out with my cat and shitpost.

[Anonymous No.9956855]

>>9956844
yes...of course everyone that hates fat people are secretly fat themselves

[Anonymous No.9956868]

>>9956813
Bruh I wish it was raining, that makes for maximum comfy/ you don’t feel like a piece of shit for not doing anything because the weather doesn’t permit.
I have a large deck/porch for smoking and I can grill when it rains so I fucking love it.
I’m also meaning to rewatch mad men shortly, figures.
You seem like a pretty cool dude, I like you.

[Anonymous No.9956879]

>>9956813
Also I truly wish I could switch back to beers, but they just make me gassy/have to piss. I get having one with a meal, but for recreation I am a vodka slave.
Oh, and my walk went fine. I did as instructed and enjoyed the cold, sipped my handle on the front steps while smoking at 3:45 am. 8/10, would recommend.

[Anonymous No.9956880]

>>9956848
kek
>no backups
I can relate to this, although not necessarily in the same way
>older guy calls in
>surprisingly a nice dude from somewhere in the midwest
>somehow lost ~5000 photos after having his phone replaced and then plugging it into his computer
>says he went to a service provider to get his phone replaced
>has some weird friendship with one of the employees at the service provider store and she gives him shit about the sheer amount of photos he keeps on his phone
>he decides to delete a vast majority of them before going in, to somehow save himself the embarrassment of being poked fun at
>deletes fucking everything
>"I got home and plugged my phone in and then I looked at my photo folder and they were all gone!"
>pull up his cloud account
>fuck all recoverable
>dude starts going on and on about the photos
>his wedding photos
>his recent vacation photos
>all so important
>Ask if he has a backup
>he tells me that he has a 4 TB external drive sitting next to his PC but he never even pulled it out of the box
Every fucking day with these stupid shit heads. If you care about your dumb fucking pictures so much then fucking back them up and throw the drive into a fireproof box
fucking blogpost kill me

[Anonymous No.9956884]

>>9956879
Beer is great because you're constantly having to get up and judge your drunkenness.

But, I think we all know the downsides of having to drink large quantities of beer.

[Anonymous No.9956888]

>>9956868
>>9956879
My fucking dude. I was big on vodka when I was really drinking. I used to just do vodka and that squeezed lemon juice in the plastic container that looks like a lemon. Finally ended up waking up one morning with this numb feeling on my left arm and chest and it wigged me the fuck out, so I just switched to beer and cut down from a sixer to 3-4/night.
Glad your jaunt in the cold did you well though. I like you too buddy

[Anonymous No.9956948]

>>9955600
>pastis
>calling it absinthe
ridiculous

[Anonymous No.9956975]

>be sober for 2 weeks
>think of that warm summer evening sitting alone at the beach having a cold one and this peaceful beautiful feelings i had

why is life so cruel? Could this moment be nice without alcohol too? Idk, maybe?

[Anonymous No.9957073]

>>9956060
Why is that? When I am withdrawing I can cum like literally 10 times in one day and it makes me feel less sick too.

[Anonymous No.9957157]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9957212]

>>9956685

[Anonymous No.9957226]

Literally just rolled off my bed while napping onto 50 wine bottles. It didn't even hurt i suppose weight distribution and all that.

[Anonymous No.9957778]

>>9955428
leg guy here. fucked up, eating jubes, watching hanson, too drunk to read thread. SUCK MY BALLS. Im using this thread for reaction pics.

[Anonymous No.9957805]

>>9957073
sympathetic nervous system is on high alert during withdrawals.

[Anonymous No.9957873]

who here /drunk/ since waking up? fuck it. keep going. got some vodka in water bottle, and gum so no one at work knows

[Anonymous No.9957876]

>>9956685
I posted pic in last thread people started doubting my alcoholism I don’t
Know why, 1.75 L man also looks healthy and chad like

[Anonymous No.9957901]

i pissed the bed this morning

[Anonymous No.9957919]

>>9957901
rookie

[Anonymous No.9957941]

>>9957873
What the fuck kind of gay job do you have where you can physically do it while hammered?

[Anonymous No.9957944]

>>9956975
maybe you could replace the alcohol with another person, maybe? Stop being such a lonely little faggot?

[Anonymous No.9957947]

>>9957941
Craigslist gay blowjobber

[Anonymous No.9957965]

>>9957941
financial planner

[Anonymous No.9957979]

>>9957901
Any person can piss a bed. It takes a man to shit on the celling.

[Anonymous No.9957982]

[Anonymous No.9958014]

6th beer of the morning

[Anonymous No.9958084]

>>9957979

teach me master... i want to learn. i am ready for the new way

[Anonymous No.9958334]

>>9957876
Are you the dude that was trying to fish for whales on some dating app?
I look like that because
1. Genetics
2. A decent haircut
3. I was drunk as fuck, hence my hands not shaking too badly to even take the photo in the first place.

[Anonymous No.9958412]

managed to actually sleep last night on tje second night of withdrawals
now its just a matter of getting used to eating again

[Anonymous No.9958442]

>>9958084
to begin... paint my fence.

[Anonymous No.9958443]

>>9956834
I also see it in my eyes. Clear and sharp as fuck.

[Anonymous No.9958453]

>>9958442

can i use an oil based paint? is the wood pine?

[Anonymous No.9958469]

>>9956813
I was so hammered last night I forgot to mention how badly I want to give Christina Hendricks my children, like goddamn. I can’t even watch that show without taking a ten minute break every time she’s on screen. She’s just so voluptuous.
I would grab the headboard and slam my head through the drywall because I was trying to nut inside so hard.
Haha, I googled her just for a pic to post with this and half the images are her photoshopped to be fat because women are jealous.

[Anonymous No.9958474]

>>9958469
Pretty sure those weren’t photoshopped. Would not do sex on.

[Anonymous No.9958483]

>>9958469
Dare I say...HANGOVER HORN

[Anonymous No.9958494]

>>9958483
Nah, I wake up every day and start with my bedside handle. Sorry to disappoint, my dude.
>>9958474
Just get the surgery and switch over already, homie. We’ll still love and support you in these beautiful threads.

[Anonymous No.9958517]

>>9958453
It is fence, not wagon. You want to learn to skyshit or not?

[Anonymous No.9958524]

>>9958494
Yeah I guess you’re right, there is after all a proportional number of thin girls vs chunky monkey wobbleslob fatty boombatty porkplanet hambeasts rolling down catwalks. Brb chopping dick off

[Anonymous No.9958540]

>>9958524
Idk, as I’ve gotten older I can appreciate a shapely woman. I am certainly attracted to the woman you’ve posted, and would’ve gone bonkers in high school, but there’s some weird instinct in me that makes me attracted to a thicc and healthy woman that looks like she could handle my offspring.
She’d (your pic) do well for a side piece, but I need a grown woman for a wife.

[Anonymous No.9958552]

>>9958524
Plus there’s the whole low self esteem part, girls that look like that KNOW they look like that because of all of the effort it takes and it makes them jaded and bitchy.

[Anonymous No.9958568]

>not wanting to fuck both christina hendricks and alexis ren

[Anonymous No.9958579]

>>9958568
My guy, I just said I would. I just wouldn’t nut in the malnourished one.

[Anonymous No.9958602]

>>9958540
Man I love a good chunker. I'm not even a chubby chaser/fetish guy but they've been the best fucks I've ever had. Best bj I've had was from a chubby girl and man she knew how to work it

Funny enough the worst lay I've ever had was from some skinny blond bimbo. Just laid there

My fiancé is chubby and will wake up at 3 am to fuck me when Im having withdrawals and the drunk hor nies. Good times

[Anonymous No.9958608]

>>9958602
Chubby girls overcompensate and pretty skinny bitches know they're an asset so they don't try.

Just sexual capitalism desu.

[Anonymous No.9958627]

>>9958412
always taper using 5% or 4.2% (light) beers

never go cold turkey. it just makes the next withdrawal that much worse.

[Anonymous No.9958637]

>>9956028
> she had been with black guys

[Anonymous No.9958639]

>>9958602
>>9958608
Guys I’m not even talking about fucking fat chicks, just ones with big tiddies, small waists, and fat asses. I can put up with a little belly, but only if she can lose the weight after childbirth and is over 5’9”.
Thankfully I got lucky. I’ve got a gf who’s tall, and the only consequence of her putting on weight is that her tits get bigger. Ty good looks.

[Anonymous No.9958652]

She straight up told me "I don't care if you cum as long as I did" would never get on top. It was like banging a doll

Now she's with my brother. Gross

[Anonymous No.9958668]

>>9958652
Oh god, dude. You just reminded me that I’m Eskimo Brothers with my older brother... She was fine as fuck, actually. We both bagged the hottest girl at our school. I don’t think I’ve ever told him I fucked her, because he was weaker than me and fell hard for her.

[Anonymous No.9958684]

I'm going through fucking hell right now.

[Anonymous No.9958697]

I was fuckin her in my car while she went home to her boyfriend. I ain't proud of it butt alcohol will make you do crazy things

I banged the squad squeezer

[Anonymous No.9958710]

>>9958637
ovendodger.bmp

[Anonymous No.9958804]

>>9956685

yellow skin, sunken eyes, swollen abdomens everywhere

[Anonymous No.9958831]

>>9958684
Good. It's what you asked for, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.9958849]

Have you ever been to a liquor store when they open?
The guys you see in there embody al/ck/
Yesterday I stopped by the liquor store at 8am (when they open in my state.)

First guy was
>overweight beergut fedex worker
>Drove his company fedex car there
>probably 35 yet looked 50
>In his uniform buying a handle of el cheapo gin.
>saw him sitting in his fedex van drinking straight out the bottle on company time.

other dude in the store

>Guy bundled up looking like he is cosplaying Watchdogs
>Shakey and buying a pint of vodka with nickels and pennies.
>mumbling and dropping change everywhere
>looks like he hasnt eaten in 3-4 days minimum.
>we lock eyes as he hurried;y rushes out the door trying to avoid human contact.
>I saw the fear in his eyes

Liquor stores at opening are a sad sight.
So many honorary al/ck/s there

[Anonymous No.9958858]

>>9958849

man i got there at 0745 and waited outside for it to open after driving for 20 mins after drinking a carton of beer in 4 hours then waited for the supermarket it was attached to to open. I get in there and stagger to the liquor store while the guy is firing up the cash register. I grab a carton from the fridge and take it to the counter and somehow despite me being in like a flash there are 3 different aboriginals holding 4 Litre casks of wine in front of me. Where the fuck did they come from!?!?

[Anonymous No.9958868]

>>9958858

also where my ex used to live the aboriginals would have a makeshift camp outside the liquor store with newspaper sleeping bags and fights from about 4am. Trying to fuck her and all you can hear is them screaming from across the road. My dick has never been harder

[Anonymous No.9958869]

>>9958858
They live there.
This is their home now.

[Anonymous No.9958880]

Any of you aussies ever run into Archie Luxury?

[Anonymous No.9958883]

>>9958849
>Have you ever been to a liquor store when they open?

Yeah....like hundreds of times. I've even stood outside the armored windows, waiting for them to unroll the bulletproof shit. One time I got there like an hour early, because I was so drunk I thought they opened at 8 instead of nine, so I was so desperate I just walked around back, to the loading area, hoping someone would be working back there, and I saw the door wide open.

I walked in, didn't see anybody, but saw stacks of crates of jim bean. Snatched a crate and was on my way. Never went back to that particular place, just in case.

[Anonymous No.9958887]

>>9958869

they can have it man. My current gf lives across from a huge park near the hospital they all go to. So all the country ass aboriginals live in that park like fucking hundreds of them. She lives ABOVE THE FUCKING LIQUOR STORE. adjacent to the park. It seems like a dream come true right? Wrong. It's staffed by 2 indian guys who hate everyone so we used to sit on her balcony drinking passion pop ($4 sparkling wine) in coffee cups and watch the ruckus unfold. Fuck i miss that place. One of them came out with his dick out having peed in the guys walk in fridge.

[Anonymous No.9958888]

>>9956803
I'll look into the Dolin's.
Was also going to grab a bottle of Cocchi Americano too which looked to be around the same category

[Anonymous No.9958891]

>>9958883

in aus the liquor stores are drive through most of them, so it has 2 lanes for cars to come and go through the middle with cartons stacked between the lanes. Common practice for scum cunts of all races is to do a run through where like 10 of you will just sprint inside when the guy is busy at like 8pm, all grab a carton then sprint in various directions away from the store.

[Anonymous No.9958895]

>>9958883
Wait are you saying to lifted it?
Or bought a crate and too embarrassed to go back?

[Anonymous No.9958903]

>>9958895
What do YOU think, Mr. Manners McMoneybags?

[Anonymous No.9958904]

>>9958849
I remember being in a bar at 5 am when I was a kid. My friend's mother was the bartender, I stayed overnight at their place, she said she had to get up early to open the bar, and she'd take us there and wait for school to open up and we could just walk there.

I remember thinking, who the fuck would want to go to a bar at 5 a.m. But when we got there, sure enough there was a fucking line of dudes waiting outside, pissed off she was like 5 minutes late. They were all scrawny, dirty, mean looking dudes in flannels. We stayed in the bar for like 5 minutes, until we were fucking scared of this guys and played in the parking lot until school opened. My friend apparently played in this lot all the time and showed us where he found a gun, and several wallets full of money.

[Anonymous No.9958929]

>>9958891
>drive thru liquor stores

Lmfao

[Anonymous No.9958930]

>>9958903
Damn , I aint never lifted a fucking a crate before.
When Im broke I go to the local supermarkets and stick 24oz tallboys in the wasteband of my pants and rush out the store.
I only do it once every couple months at any store. Just incase they might recognize my face.

[Anonymous No.9958939]

>>9958929

fucking boss man you go there in the taxi and lean out the window with the money and they get it for you put it in the boot. This circumvents having to stagger in off your cunt and have them refuse you service due to RSA (responsible service alcohol) laws.

[Anonymous No.9958941]

>>9957805
You're pretty smart. Because I'm pretty smart and didn't know that. Very interesting. So I guess your body thinks you are dying and rubbing one out might be a good thing.

[Anonymous No.9958946]

>>9958941

not sure if its related but most guys who hang themselves get erections that stay when they die

[Anonymous No.9958948]

>>9958412
You're lucky you slept. I never sleep for 3 days until the shadow people come out to play games with me.

[Anonymous No.9958950]

>withdrawals

Lmao just don't stop drinking

[Anonymous No.9958960]

>>9958950
This nigga knows how to party

[Anonymous No.9958962]

>>9958930
This one liquor store I went to had like a separated wine/beer store from the liquor store. Like...it's all in the same building, but the wine and beer store was actually an entirely different store, run by different people, than the liquor store.

But i used to just get beer, then walk into the liquor store section, buy liquor too, then set the beer on the counter. The shitty employees would never even say specifically that you need to pay for the beer over at the wine/beer store, and would just bag up the liquor and say nothing at all about the beer. So at first I just assumed I did pay for the beer, but after a few times I realized what the deal was. I kept doing it, nobody ever said anything. If they did, I mean I could very reasonably say I just thought the liquor people did charge me for the beer, would be an honest mistake you know....that I exploited dozens of times.

[Anonymous No.9958966]

Aside from hand sanitizer/mouth wash what is the nastiest legitimate alcohol you have ever consumed?

I once drank an entire bottle of Fernet de Branca and puked savagely the next day. People who like that shit are meming.

[Anonymous No.9958976]

>>9958966

essences. lemon essence was fucking horrible. when i was living away from all my friends in a different state i would be in denial i was an alco until it was too late and got desperate. used to drink whatever was in the house. Lemon essence does not taste like lemon. Fuck

[Anonymous No.9958981]

>>9958966
vanilla extract
wasn't THAT bad all things considered, i mixed with coke

[Anonymous No.9958991]

>>9958966
Almond extract was fucking terrible.
It was bitter garbage but I was desperate.
It was like a 6oz bottle of 30% so I said "what the hell thats enough to shake off wds."
I got a suprisingly decent at ease feeling after the initial nausea.
I was struggling to keep to down.
Vanilla Extract is so much better than Almond Extract.

[Anonymous No.9958993]

>>9958966

actually im going to go with this beer i tried to brew. No idea what i was doing i tried to lager an ale for months on end. I had surgery and the doctor gave me oxycodone and tramadol, i took all of them in one night and drank 24 carlsbergs then i got desperate and drank that from the fucking plastic vat directly... got through about 600ml then puked for a good 5 minutes straight. it wasn't even fizzy. it just tasted like sweet yeast.

[Anonymous No.9958996]

>>9958966
Honestly it was some kind of Mezcal. I remember I just watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and I thought it would be cool to drink it. Drank like the whole bottle, didn't even get drunk really, didn't hallucinate or anything. Just got very, very, very fucking sick. Puked all night, woke up dehydrated, knowing I would just puke up water if I drank it. It was the sickest I ever was, but I drove down to the grocery store to buy popsicles, because I knew I could always keep those down. Was so out of it I wandered around the store for like half an hour, I might have even passed out, looking for them. I found them and got to the checkout, and the most gorgeous girl I ever saw was working it. She took one look at me and went, "Oh my god, are you ok?"

"Uh...yeah, just uh...eat these popsicles, you know, I'll be good," I said something like. She looked at me like she was afraid of me the entire time she rang me out. I went home and ate popsicles in bed for the entire day.

Other than that, maybe Steele Reserve beer. Tastes like sewer water and chocolate. I knew this teenager I used to buy the stuff for all the time, he'd give me like $5 for doing it. Kid got shit faced one night and passed out in a mud puddle, drowned.

[Anonymous No.9958997]

>>9955435
too over the top and not relatable in an effective way but good content

[Anonymous No.9959001]

>>9958966
drank a bottle of red at a party and the shit i took the next morning was the blackest thing i've ever seen

[Anonymous No.9959007]

>>9958996
>Kid got shit faced one night and passed out in a mud puddle, drowned.
RIP fren

Steel Reserve sucks, but it's not that bad. Just taste like wet cardboard. Mezcal/Tequila are bullshit and people who like them are sociopaths. I have never felt sicker than after that shit. Well maybe rum. Come to think of it any dark liquor is fucking nasty.

>>9958993
I tried to make a brown ale with jasmine tea and didn't use enough priming sugar so it didn't carb. tasted like old spit. fucking gross.

[Anonymous No.9959016]

>>9959007
I'm drinking canadian ltd mixed with grapefruit juice
SO HA
take that dark likka haters.

[Anonymous No.9959020]

>>9958996
>She looked at me like she was afraid of me the entire time she rang me out.
almost definitely expected you to a pedophile trying to bait kiddies with those popsicles hahaha

[Anonymous No.9959024]

>>9959016
that sounds truly terrible, anon. why not just drink it straight. grapefruit and whiskey is just heartburn

[Anonymous No.9959029]

>>9955428
I kind of remember one time, being about 25, my drug dealer friend was driving me around for some reason, while he was making his drug runs. I was wasted, wearing PJs, drinking from this 4 gal jug of wine I had.

I really have no idea how this happened, but I guess my friend was selling drugs to some teenagers, like literally 14 year olds, so he stops at their house and for some reason he's like, "uh...hang out with these guys for a minute, I'll be right back".

So I sat with these 14 year olds, in their garage, as they played Monopoly. I'm sitting there chugging from this 1/4 full wine jug, blasted out of my mind, I'm sure creeping these kids out. One was like trying to show me her pet rabbit, and I finished off the bottle and asked if her parents had any booze around. She went and looked and came back with those stupid liquor candies you buy in tourist shops. I ate every last one of the candies too....the fucking kids looking at me mad because they wanted a few too.

That's all I remember of that, I guess my friend picked me up eventually or something. I dunno. I think these kid's parents actually were there the entire time too, could you fucking imagine if they just walked in the garage and saw me?

[Anonymous No.9959032]

>>9959024
My life is heartburn, so this is nothing new my friend.

[Anonymous No.9959038]

>cook ribeye in rosemary and garlic
>quartered button mushrooms fried in butter and herbs
>courgette and asparagus fried in frying juices
>one bite of mushroom. Set aside. No food all day, zero appetite
>made 6 grand yesterday, ordered high end new pc
>totally
>incapable
>of
>caring
>about
>ANYTHING

not sure what’s worse, drinking or paws.

[Anonymous No.9959040]

>>9959038
made me wanna cry reading that
you seeing a doctor?

[Anonymous No.9959042]

>>9959016
I used to use grapefruit juice as a chaser, one sip of that shit cleans out any booze taste. Never would mix it with anything though, damn...plus that shit is expensive.

[Anonymous No.9959043]

>>9959038
Can I have a buck?
I have like 14$ to make it through the week.

[Anonymous No.9959045]

>>9959038
being sober is weird. I'm so fucking chatty now. LIke before I just didn't say anything, but now I just talk all the time. IDK, i'm not as bad as people in the fucking meetings who share like 5 times.

congrats on the 6k, that's double what I even have in my bank account haha

[Anonymous No.9959047]

>>9959042
$2 for a half gallon ?
Thats not expensive.
sometimes its on sale for $1.75

[Anonymous No.9959054]

Throwing up bile every couple of minutes. Please just stop already.

[Anonymous No.9959064]

>>9959054
at least it's not blood

seeing red and tasting metal in your mouth after blood is terrifying. I used to throw up semi frequently but when I saw that, grabbed my coat and was like "nope, ER time."

[Anonymous No.9959068]

>>9959064
*after vomiting

[Anonymous No.9959071]

>>9959064
It's certainly raping my mouth and teeth.

[Anonymous No.9959073]

>>9955901
WEBM is pretty good and it's getting fresh content lately.

[Anonymous No.9959078]

https://youtu.be/6TLVgwoqhoc

:3

[Anonymous No.9959084]

>>9959078
this interviewer is such a faggot

[Anonymous No.9959086]

>>9959064

That's actually how a fair number of drunks end up dying. Prolonged alcohol uses erodes the Ephesus, also constricts and weakens blood vessels, also destroys liver function so your blood doesn't clot. Then a big vessel bursts in your esophagus and you die barfing up blood. Jack Kerouac and Bill, the guy Lady Di blew for a place to stay, died the same way.

[Anonymous No.9959097]

>>9958966
The worst I drank was cooking wine with a shit load of salt in it (to prevent people from drinking it) and vanilla extract. Had an ex who once drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

[Anonymous No.9959103]

>>9959097
>Had an ex who once drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
just because it has "alcohol" in the name doesn't mean it will get you drunk. Fucked up possibly, but drunk, no. How did she end up?

[Anonymous No.9959104]

>>9958948
I have seen these shadow beings too. What do you think they are?

[Anonymous No.9959117]

>>9959104
I've had shadows fly across the room and roar then dissipate in front of me

[Anonymous No.9959123]

>>9959078
>tfw you will never meet and fall in love with her in secondary school and save her from a life of poverty

[Anonymous No.9959124]

>>9958966
Vodka from a u-bend, after pouring it down the sink.

[Anonymous No.9959127]

>>9959117

When I used to be coming off a drunk I'd see giant spiders crawling up the wall. Like...seriously real look tarantula type spiders.

First time it happened it freaked me the fuck out. But, then I noticed that wherever I moved my eyes, the spiders would move along with them. So i realized it was a hallucination.

[Anonymous No.9959135]

>>9959124

woah thats fucking brutal. i can imagine some hungover guy wrestling with a makeshift pipewrench sweating and swearing for hours to get the u bend off then finally holding it like a newborn baby in his arms with the precious vodka with all sorts of shit floating in it

[Anonymous No.9959142]

>>9958966

I drank a bottle of Fernet just a few nights ago because I was out of vodka, which I bought as a gift set for the glasses. Woke up feeling like I didn't get enough to drink the night before and didn't have anything to drink in the morning before work.

[Anonymous No.9959146]

>>9959123
She'd fuck all your shit up more likely
She's a drug addict who crippled herself by injecting dirty needles into them.

[Anonymous No.9959147]

>>9959124
What the fuck anon

[Anonymous No.9959151]

>>9959127
That shit is still horrifying though. Cartoon vampires make me gasp with fear - this coming from a dude whose fave genre of movies was always horrors so gruesome they were banned, and who website had a ‘rekt’ section. It’s like an overflowing, high-pressure vat of adrenaline is in my chest 24/7, and even a mildly displeased facial expression can make it explode. Think DR’s gave me PTSD or something? I’m a nervous wreck.

[Anonymous No.9959153]

You guys are honestly so bad at giving advice to each other.
Get real help.

[Anonymous No.9959156]

>>9959146

Yeah, homeless people are homeless for a very good reason. There's tons of help available to them, they stay homeless by choice because it's basically the only way they can live their fucked up drug and psychosis filled lifestyle. No place on earth would put up with their shit for long.

[Anonymous No.9959157]

>>9959147
Yeah, pouring away booze, madness. She demanded I pour it away. Got good boy points. Then unscrewed it and drank every drop.

[Anonymous No.9959164]

>>9959146
yea that sob story about getting septicemia from "sleeping on the streets" doesn't sound legit at all.

[Anonymous No.9959165]

>>9959153

Yeah I know. I used to try to give help on here, been clean for quite a while myself, but they're drunks, they don't actually want it. They basically want to be told they're fucked, there's no way out, if they actually quit they'll die from wds or voodoo magic or something, so it's best to just continue drinking.

I don't really bother anymore. If they want to quit, they will. If they want help, they'll help themselves. That's how I, and every other person who recovered did it.

[Anonymous No.9959170]

>>9959153
No, it is useful hearing other people who is going through the same thing's experiences.
It lowers panic and anxiety levels when you know someone else has been through it too.
I would rather hear an addicts perspective than some cheap doctor or gurus advice.
We all have something we can teach each other and it is our duty to share so people know what to avoid.

Get out , you gnome.

[Anonymous No.9959171]

>>9959164
Not many showers on the streets, anon.

[Anonymous No.9959177]

>>9959165
oh get off your sober high horse. You're still a drunk, you just don't drink anymore.

I'm sober too but I hate this high and mighty garbage.

[Anonymous No.9959181]

>>9959177
this

[Anonymous No.9959183]

>>9959171
It's probably more likely that she got it from shooting up. You don't just get septicemia. It has to go systemic. If she had septicemia she would be incredibly sick.

It's a possibility, but idk.

[Anonymous No.9959188]

>>9959171

golden showers.. fuck i love them.

[Anonymous No.9959200]

How many times have you guys gone to the ER for this shit? I think I'm counting at least 13 or 14 times for me in 2017 alone.

[Anonymous No.9959208]

>>9959200

once but was turned away because i wasnt actually WD

[Anonymous No.9959211]

>>9959200
Seven times total in life, turned away twice

[Anonymous No.9959219]

>>9959177
wow, sick burn man. I'm just a drunk who doesn't drink. That cuts deep. I'll stop speaking now, I've been thoroughly put in my place.

I don't really care if you drink. If you're fine with it, whatever. The problem is 80% of people on here do nothing but bitch about how awful it is. So which is it?

[Anonymous No.9959222]

>>9955428
Sipping Southern Comfort while shit-posting and listening to music.
All the while mother is making din din.

-t. 24 year old manchild

[Anonymous No.9959226]

Bros I'm getting laid tonight but this is the first time in years I'm getting some without being hammered. How do I not blow it right away?

[Anonymous No.9959230]

>>9959226
hit your testicles repeatedly with a 10 lb engineer's hammer.

[Anonymous No.9959239]

>>9959226
Aren’t u supposed to put in like a year clean before dating?

Actually I did that, got icily rejected and relapsed after 13 months

So I dunno, maybe just pretend ur hungover say ur not drinking, take a shower with her BADA BING

If U need practice go to www.datingariane.com

[Anonymous No.9959240]

>>9959219
I'm not that poster, I think you should stick with your guns like you are, staying sober and well
Remember to pat yourself on the back everyday you did the right thing.

[Anonymous No.9959245]

>>9959226

remember the words my mother told me on my fathers funeral "now that he is gone we can fuck"

[Anonymous No.9959250]

>>9959245
Heck

[Anonymous No.9959259]

>>9959226
Play it slow, I know you are gonna want to jump into it, but be as slow and passionate as possibly without being cringe-y.
Go at her pace, also as much foreplay as possible. IT may be hard but foreplay is key here.
If you nut too quick , go back to cuddling and go back to foreplay when you can get it back up.
Be confident and feel like cassanova . You got it man
You have nothing to worry about
You are in control and you better own it you fucker.
Also don't get hammered before it or you will not be able to keep pace correctly.
1-2 drinks is fine and all
Keep it in the groove ,be smooth.
Pace is key.

[Anonymous No.9959262]

>>9959200
six times altogether, they never turned me away because every time i've gone has been after i seized out in public
last time was for 5 days in ICU

[Anonymous No.9959263]

>>9959245
why couldn't you fuck with him living? Just get a hotel room or something, i'd think.

[Anonymous No.9959265]

>>9959245
wincest?!

[Anonymous No.9959267]

>>9959245
What kind of depraved ass backwards family do you come from?

[Anonymous No.9959272]

>>9959200
At one point I had a really bad pain in my intestines, I thought I had cancer or something from all the drinking. Pain got so bad I went to the ICU.

Turns out, I must have swallowed a whole chicken wing, bone and all. The bone kind of splintered in my intestines and lodged in there, cut things up pretty bad.

[Anonymous No.9959281]

>>9959263

i wouldn't be able to stop thinking of his dick. I still can't . Hence the lose-cest.

[Anonymous No.9959286]

>>9959281
why are you thinking of his dick....did you fuck him too?

[Anonymous No.9959301]

need new thread

[Anonymous No.9959313]

>>9959286

no ahaha just he liked to show it to me when i was at home. It was like a game.. a game i won now that he is dead.

[Anonymous No.9959321]

>>9959239
>>9959239
>Aren’t u supposed to put in like a year clean before dating?
lol what kind of faggotry is this?

[Anonymous No.9959322]

>>9959313
How'd you win? Just cause he's dead doesn't mean he didn't have a bigger dick than his fag son.

[Anonymous No.9959324]

>>9959313
wat

[Anonymous No.9959325]

>>9955465
Sort of the definition of alcoholism

[Anonymous No.9959326]

>>9959313
>a game i won now that he is dead.
i dunno, you still saw his dick tons of times

[Anonymous No.9959331]

>>9959322

his was a bat no doubt. hence why i can't not think about it. My ex used to complain when i came too soon "are you thinking of his dick again" and i would have to come up with some excuse about Jessica Biel.

[Anonymous No.9959336]

>>9959222
Yeah I used to be like you 4 years ago. I hate southern comfort so much though. I just used to drink Jack back then, but I prefer Jameson now if I drink liquor, which I usually don't because it was destroying my life.

[Anonymous No.9959340]

>>9959226
I will probably be fapping when you get laid.
Think of me while you fuck ;)

[Anonymous No.9959341]

>>9959326

where im from it's common as fuck to see your dad naked

[Anonymous No.9959346]

>>9958996
wew lad

[Anonymous No.9959367]

hope all you degenerates enjoy killing yourselves

[Anonymous No.9959372]

>>9959367
/pol/ changes his nappy long enough to comment

[Anonymous No.9959376]

>>9959367
>degenerates
hiya /pol/, don't you have some memefrogs to be posting while you fap to BBC porn?

[Anonymous No.9959380]

>>9959367

Well the sad thing is no, they won't enjoy it. It will be a living hell, then they'll fucking die. You just hope they don't take anybody with them.

[Anonymous No.9959381]

>>9959372
>>9959376
why do you guys enjoy hurting yourselves and your family?

[Anonymous No.9959392]

>>9959381

why do you hurt everyone with your autistic alt right bullshit? back to your containment board to masturbate to cuck porn and hope something /HAPPENS/ so you can lie in your cumrags and tell people you are /comfy/

[Anonymous No.9959401]

>>9959381
well again you're making the assumption that they genuinely do enjoy it. Real addiction doesn't work like that. They absolutely fucking hate it, they hate themselves for doing it. But...they're addicted. They have to do it.

A few will wisen up and quit eventually but most will just drag this shit out their whole lives, and make their existence a literal living hell.

[Anonymous No.9959403]

>>9959340
Holy shit man nice dirlewanger, what a fucking supreme gentleman

[Anonymous No.9959404]

>>9959392
>not liking degenerate alcoholics means you're alt right

lol a lot of people hate losers like you. keep drinking buddy!

[Anonymous No.9959408]

>>9959404

t. Mohamed

[Anonymous No.9959416]

>>9959404
t. 130+ IQ mega-genius

[Anonymous No.9959427]

[Anonymous No.9959430]

>>9959171
>implying she isn't just a worker for this charity who skipped showering for 3 days
listen to that accent

[Anonymous No.9959473]

>>9959117
>>9959151
>>9959127
Once I was going through W/D and I hadn't slept for like 3 days, not a wink. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom and clear as day, this shadow man scurried past me like a foot in front of me. He was hunched over and covering his face with his arms. When I finally did sleep I woke up to 3 episodes of sleep paralysis. Two of them were people of all ages and races standing over me staring into my soul as a lay there, their heads tilting in a creepy robotic manner. The other was an ominous knocking coming from the inside of my closet. I've had them before where a demon attacked me so I was so scared of what was in there. That shit is terrifying, enough to make a grown man cry.

[Anonymous No.9959475]

>>9959341
Where're you from, lad?

>>9959372
>>9959376
>>9959380
Don't reply to trolls. It means they win.

[Anonymous No.9959493]

>>9959473
shoulda just got some lithium. woulda slept like a baby for a few days and woke up fine

[Anonymous No.9959508]

>>9959493
Lithium or Librium?

[Anonymous No.9959512]

>>9959493
I think u mean librium

[Anonymous No.9959524]

>>9959512
>>9959508
shit i did. listening to nirvana so lithiums on my mind

[Anonymous No.9959533]

>>9959524
>>9959512
>>9959508
lmao batterys might help though. fuck

[Anonymous No.9959551]

Random thought, if u took someone who was going through the hardest of hardcore withdrawals and killed him, would the body still shake for like a day? Or would it stop? Genuinely curious.

[Anonymous No.9959577]

>>9959533
Lithium is a pill though, for bipolar. Didn't think it would help with W/D though.

[Anonymous No.9959599]

>>9959551
It would stop. There would be death tremors, depending on the type of death, but that's all.
Unless he's a zombie of course.

[Anonymous No.9959621]

I fucking hate buying booze in stores, especially when it's not the weekend. I desperately want some right now though.. I dread going in there one day, bumping into someone I knew from school with a shitload of booze on me.

[Anonymous No.9959662]

>>9959599
WELL SHIT BOYS WE GOT OURSELVES A CURE

[Anonymous No.9959790]

>>9957655
just go use this thread i guess

[Anonymous No.9960191]

>>9959103
In the hospital. She wasn't too bright