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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9932480 No.9932480 [Reply] [Original]

>mom is a hambeast
>I have always been fat but around last August got tired of being fat so I started eating less and exercising more, to great effect
>hambeast mom decided to try a low carb diet or some other meme shit
>just get this hilarious gem from her

Post funny stories of people who are fat

>> No.9932498

I don't think your mother's mental health is something to laugh about.

>> No.9932566

My mom has poor self-control and doesn't cook for herself, but I cook nearly every night and give her some. If you care about your mom you could try making food for her, even if you have to resort to tactics you'd use on a child, like pureeing broccoli into a soup so she doesn't recognize it as broccoli.

>> No.9932570
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9932570

>> No.9932577

>>9932480
My mom is 130lbs but my dad is pushing 350. She is the psycho feeder Dr. Phil warned you about.

>> No.9932585

>>9932577
Also if you want to know I weigh around 180. Grew up a fat kid, realized it wasn't my fault and changed my lifestyle. I'm still soft around the edges but you wouldn't know unless I took my shirt off.

>> No.9932617

>>9932577
Does she want him dead to be done with him without having to divorce?

>> No.9932663
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9932663

I don't find fat people funny. I work retail and see them in the wild daily. It's really sad and/or angering, usually angering because there's no good reason for being like that. I get really rustled when i see some fat cunt with kids and their cart is full of garbage like Pop Tarts and Fruit Roll Ups. It's child abuse. Probably on welfare too. Fucking state sponsored child abuse. Kills me that EBT can purchase anything other than the essentials. Though it's kinda sad because these are functionally retarded people addicted to sugar and calorie consumption with nobody who taught them any better in the first place.

>>9932585
Also if you want to know I weigh around 180. Grew up a fat kid, realized it wasn't my fault and changed my lifestyle
Same. Still trying to crack 160 but i'm stuck at around 165 right now. Going to be super easy once i get through all this current stress and can eat better and go to the gym again

>> No.9932679

>>9932617
Do life insurance policies pay out if you eat yourself to death?

Asking for a friend.

>> No.9932696

>>9932480
>shaming your own mother on an Iranian yoldeling board
What the fuck is wrong with you? How about trying to help her?

>> No.9932853
File: 2.03 MB, 800x450, 1511095907714.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9932853

>>9932480
>>9932570

>> No.9932877
File: 77 KB, 480x548, 1513976153077.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9932877

>> No.9932906

>>9932480

I really try to avoid fatties, since they gross me out so much and smell, but my sister was friends with a morbidly obese chick

>kept jack in the box tacos stuffed in her purse
>broke my toilet when she used it, like the caulk around the base snapped off the floor
>one time she spent the night at my moms and was wheezing so bad in her sleep my mom thought someone was running the garbage disposal at 3 AM
>got stuck in the booth at a restaurant
>always bragging about how hot she was and she got so much quality dick but only saw trashy old niggers hitting on her

>> No.9932957

>>9932498
Why not?

>> No.9933036

>>9932480
Wow. Shame on you.

>> No.9933392

>>9932570
>>9932853
>BSIDF

>> No.9933401

>>9932498

i know you mean well, but trying to reason with narcissistic spoiled possibly sociopathic brats never goes well.

that, and we need a good fathate thread today.

>> No.9933404

When I read 'fat' I think max 250lbs, you guys refer to as "fat" what I would call "wtf?"

>> No.9933433

tell her to roast instead of steam and then tell her to stop being such a fat fuck every day until she's of a healthy BMI

>> No.9933505

>>9932853
Ive never understood this one, the bitch eat a only potates and cheese loaded with tasty msg. Then this faggot wants to give her a Brussels sprouts that already smells like shit on its own and has a pretty bad taste for someone used to msg all the time. What a fucking incel he is, at least start he out with a fucking salad and some ranch or some shit that taste better then brussle sprouts

>> No.9933557

>>9932585
Same here anon. Was pushing 260lb at 5"5 and one day my mind went online and I realized I am retarded and I should stop eating like shit only because I'm used to it. Cut out all bread, fast food, dropped soda and ate a very strict diet for a year. Took that long to drop to 125lb. Didn't even exercise. Lost it slowly to prevent stretchmarks and it worked fantastically.

>> No.9933594
File: 147 KB, 766x960, 1514197973594.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9933594

>>9932480
Do you feel cool trashing your own mother for strangers approval online?

>> No.9933603

>>9932498
this. she's your fucking mom dude. not something you should be using as a prop to make yourself feel better and get upboats on a Moroccan figure skating board.

>> No.9933604

>>9932480
You are human excrement.

>> No.9933628

>hurr durr she's your mom
>She had sex one time so now she's a saint and completely exempt from any and all criticism no matter how she acts

>> No.9933629

>>9933604
I love imagining a /ck/ mom typing this post.

>> No.9933635

>>9932480
>neckbeard
>chubbyfuck cheeks

You're in not spot to judge, my man

>> No.9933658

>>9933628
If you think that is what a mother is, I truly pity you

>> No.9933668

>>9933658
Thats the minimum requirement.That leave a lot of room for absolutely terrible people.

>> No.9933791

>>9933668
what about immaculate conception anon?
Mary didn't do shit .

>> No.9933801

>>9933557
>not having stretchmarks from being fat already

Ask me how I know you're full of shit, manlet.

>> No.9934767

>>9933801
Of course I have my old ones but I didn't accrue any new ones losing the weight.

>> No.9934793

>>9932480
youre a soyboy, who cant help his own mother

>> No.9935464

>>9932480
She should try keto. Works beautifully. No need to give up on meats. You can even make pizza with a few small substitutions -- the dough is a cheese-based thing called "Fathead Pizza". Or use a thin layer of sausage as the "crust" instead.

>> No.9935468

That's so symbolic of her generation. I sometimes feel like my generation is learning what our parents generation forgot or never bothered to learn.

>> No.9935500

>>9932480
Maybe you should help your mother lose weight instead of making fun of her on 4chan, you ungrateful shit.

>> No.9935505

>>9932570
you know what this bitch should do?
just not eat for a week.

those veggies will taste amazing afterwards.

>> No.9935567

>>9933505
Because it's tv, anon.

>> No.9935619

>>9932480
Don't make fun of your mom you fuckin waste of sperm

>> No.9935623

>>9935468
Every new generation thinks that. Just like every older generation thinks yours is shit.

>> No.9935989

>>9932663
>it's another "Poor people are immoral" episode

>> No.9935992

>>9932480
>bullying general

>> No.9935999

>>9932480
>fat poor people
>ugly android

clockwork

>> No.9936024

>>9932480
Your mother's a stupid cunt who deserves to be raped :^)

>> No.9936130

>>9935464
You can make a cauliflower crust as well. Its not bad

>> No.9936484

>>9935999
This phone cost 950 USD, barely cheaper than an iPhone

>> No.9936508

>>9936484
So that makes it good?

>> No.9936537

>>9935989
What does this even mean? Being poor is not an excuse for being horribly unhealthy. I make shit money and am not fat. You gotta realize, they're not poor because of circumstance. Even if you are on welfare because you're legitimately poor, they remain poor and fat because they spend all their money on food and other garbage they don't need.

>> No.9936557

>>9936484
This is exactly what i'm talking about. I use a prepaid android that costs $80 and i have put like $50 into since i bought it over a year ago. Yet this fat "poor" retard spends a thousand dollars on a phone. God knows what he pays monthly. These are people who crashed the housing market in 2008. I have no sympathy for this bullshit

>> No.9936587

How do I talk to someone who says that they get sick from generic shit like fish?

There must be something in a type of fish that makes you sick, I don't believe that the entirety of the oceans biomass gets you personally sick, and when you mean sick you mean your tummy vaguely aches or something for an hour or two, just enough for you to whine about it and get attention.

This person is also skinny as a rail and claims if they eat too much food they "feel sick" too. But all these different foods give them the same type of sickness of vague tummy ache that suddenly appears 5 minutes after eating and then they don't complain about it anymore after an hour or two passes.

I know that I tell them if I don't believe them it would hurt them a lot but God damn I don't know if I can believe them.

>> No.9936609

>>9932696
This is and always has been an IRAQI ACAPELLA BOARD
GET OUT OF HERE FOUL BEAST

>> No.9936616

>>9933404
Anything above that should only ever be referred to as an "it"

>> No.9936628

>>9932480
fatties in this thread baka this is hilarious

also if you're presumably the bottom right picture you're very attractive

>> No.9936683

>>9936484
Why does the software look so terribly bad?

Designed by orientals?

>> No.9936993

>>9932480
Take care of your mom OP, you know she's not gonna last forever.

>> No.9937074

>>9936993
this. kill your mom before she becomes a real burden fat people suck up so much money and resources when their lifestyle starts to seriously effect them

>> No.9937198

>>9936557
I don't finance my phones, just buy them. Android does not mean poor, in fact iPhone is for poor people that take a year to pay them off

>> No.9937211

>>9936683
Looks OK in person but the background is fairly low resolution resolution, the weird artifacts on the text only showed up in the screenshot

>> No.9937222
File: 593 KB, 1273x1600, b1d218b89c4ed5bae56bafabb259fb5c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9937222

>>9937074
>kill your mom
C'mon, that's going to far. Let's establish fatfuck concentration camps a la auschwitz w/o the gas chambers and lock anyone with a BMI over 28 inside until they reduce to 26. Obesity solved and a plague on society will be eliminated. Of course, the executive branch won't be functioning for a while ;)

>> No.9937255

>>9932480
my cousin is like this because my aunt was a fucking retard and fed her nothing but takeout pizza and oatmeal mixed with corn syrup as she was growing up
my uncle didn't realize what was happening until it was too late, she never had a chance to not be fat
she was at the point where being on a diet was physically painful, so she started stuffing her face with lettuce and celery to the point where she'd get sick to prevent her from eating anything else
the whole situation is so fucked up that it hurts to think about

>> No.9937296
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9937296

>>9932480
Im an up and coming cook, can do all the basics and am really good at pasta dishes. So my friend came over who hates mushrooms and I made him portabello alfredo pasta and he loved it. I did it all from scratch.

He liked it and wanted to make it himself so I encouraged him to, and he said
>Im just gonna get jarred sauce
>I got shitake, portabell'a' and the white ones
>put tons of spices in the sauce
>put oil in the sauce pan.... then dumped in jarred sauce
>dunno when he cooked the mush, he didnt use onions or cream or wine...
>and at the end I put some honey in the sauce too IT MADE THE DISH SO GOOD

Hes a fat guy to be sure, and if youre adding honey to fucking pasta my dude....

>> No.9937307

>>9937198
>I don't finance my phones, just buy them
that's honestly worse

>Android does not mean poor
Reading comprehension is about what i'd expect from someone who would spend $1000 on a very overpriced piece of technology that will be worthless in 2 years. Also the fact that you're so concerned with status signalling with your electric jew is just another thing prove that you're trash.

>> No.9937336

>>9937307
Spot the iPhone user

>> No.9937359

>>9937336
literally said i use an $80 Android in my last post

>> No.9937400

>>9937359
I'm with you on the go phone android deal for under $100. I can't fathom why anyone would fall for the bells and whistles (((upgrades))) for $800 when they literally do nothing different except add a shitload of storage that's never used and a slight upgrade to the camera which is stupid since a far superior digital camera could be purchased for $300. The 'murrican consumer is literally pants on head retarded and still wonders why he can never escape an ever increasing pile of debt.

>> No.9937428

>>9932570
It's obviously bait but,
O
B
S
S
E
D
I am a robot.

>> No.9937438

>>9937400
>they literally do nothing different except add a shitload of storage
Not even that is a bonus. My piece of shit came preloaded with 8gb but i bought a 64gb card to put in it and everything is great. It's not even slow. People act like they need the new hardware but you can't realistically do anything on your phone that would require high specs

>> No.9937542
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9937542

>fat as fatass parents
>both me and my brother are 300 pounds at 18
>miss out on teenage love
>leave home
>lose 100 pounds in a year
>look like chad but permanently assburgered

>> No.9937563

>>9932570
You guys always post this but that looks like a boiled Brussels sprout. Which are god fucking awful. I'd run away too.

>> No.9937591
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9937591

>>9937542
Holy shit, are you me?

>> No.9937751

>>9936537
>You gotta realize, they're not poor because of circumstance
imagine believing poor people are poor because they're too lazy or stupid to stop being poor
then imagine, most US people seem to be convinced of that