/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9767922]

>ITT: times you got away with it

>at grocery store self-checkout
>get 3 glazed donuts from bakery
>manually input them as 1
>mfw get 3 donuts for the price of 1

S N E A K Y

[Anonymous No.9767925]

>at grocery store self-checkout
>get 3 glazed donuts from bakery
>rape the attendant
>nobody notices

S N E A K Y

[Anonymous No.9767927]

>tfw arrested for trying to weigh packs of Pokemon cards as bananas

[Anonymous No.9767961]

Why not just shoplift something high in protein, use it in combination with exercise, and reach a level of self-actualization where you're not so boring you steal $.75 worth of groceries to feel alive?

[Anonymous No.9768142]

>Using a basket instead of a shopping cart
>Ran out of space by the time I'm in the milk aisle
>Put something small into my pocket
>Forgot to pull it out during paying
>Walk back in and pay for it then leave

[Anonymous No.9768188]

>>9768142
I did something similar. I had some deli ham under a coupon book, forgot about it until after I checked out. I wasn't out of the store so I just went back to the self-checkout and paid.

[Anonymous No.9768360]

>>9767925
Man on man sexual violence in unacceptable.

[Anonymous No.9768370]

>>9767927
>tfw have to report to potential employers for seven years that i stole pokemon cards from a grocery store

[Anonymous No.9768393]

>>9768142
>9768142
>>9768188

[Anonymous No.9768582]

>>9767922
Just called the cops on you, idiot.

[Anonymous No.9768599]

>>9767922
fuck this degenerate site, really shocking

[Anonymous No.9768609]

>>9768393
I'm sure this kind of honest behavior much confusing to a dirty nigger such as yourself.

[Anonymous No.9768699]

>>9767961
I’ve been to /fit/ those faggots aren’t anything near self-actualized. You sound like a fucking mall cop by the way

[Anonymous No.9768729]

>>9767927

[Anonymous No.9768739]

>>9767922
>Trying to buy fruit
>I'm supposed to manually input the code of the fruit (there is a big sticker with the code for each fruit next to the machine
>Get a couple banans, input the banana code, nothing happens
>O check if I did it right
>I try to do it again
>Big line over 6 people wanting annoyed I can't figure out how to weight my own banans
>Get desperately, stars touching every buttons
>People are trying to help me
>Other people just watch and complain
>We are now 4 people trying to weight the bananas to no avail
>Llthe line keeps getting bigger and bigger
>New people join in in our vain attempt to get the machine to print the ticket so the cashieer can scan it, others give up and leave the store in disgrace
>Store employee finally comes to check on the commotion
>Turns out it was out of paper

[Anonymous No.9768781]

If you have ever done anything like this, you're not white.

[Anonymous No.9768786]

>>9767925
I guess you could say you glazed his donut.

[Anonymous No.9769163]

>>9767922
>buy meat
>scan for potatoes

[Anonymous No.9769169]

I accidentally rolled out with 20lbs of ground beef in cart under my bags, felt good man

[Anonymous No.9769215]

>on date at sushi bar
>get check and notice they didnt bill me for the beer i had
>let them know
>they bring back revised bill
>pay it
>go home and fuck my dad

[Anonymous No.9769219]

>>9767922

>be 5 years old
>go into corner shop with mum, want a 5p sweet, grab one and go upto mum.
>she didnt see me grabbing it and leaves the shop telling me to follow
>i leave with 5p sweet in hand
>enjoy my treat

NONE of you are as badass as this.

[Anonymous No.9769238]

>meijer
>grab 5th of bottom shelf vodka in a hurry
>dontwanttolooksuspicious.png
>casually walk around then slip it down my pants
>waddle to bathroom
>go in stall and wrench off the protective cover
>have to get blasted quick because poor and depressed and alcoholic
>don't want it on my breath
>drop trow and keaster vodka bottle
>try bending my legs and standing straight quickly up so vodka can pour up my ass
>not going up my ass far enough
>adjust bottle in ass then try and do a hand stand on the toilet with my legs on the stall door
>vodka flows smoothly down my anus
>feelsjohngoodman.mp4
>lose balance and fall down
>glass shatters while it's still in my ass

Luckily just the bottom of the bottle shattered and the top of the bottle didn't and I could remove it from by butt, I was one shift away from being goatse.

[Anonymous No.9769239]

>Go to 7-11 with mom
>Go over to the cuppachino machine
>Pick up the box of marshmallows for cuppachino
>Dump entire box into my back pocket and snack on them the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.9769257]

>Go to store.
>Dressed as a jester.
>Terrorize anons who are trying to not be noticed when shopping.
>Manager pays me.
>Get out before the stores actual jester gets off his break and realizes someone stole his check.

[Anonymous No.9769263]

>>9769257
kek

[Anonymous No.9769272]

>>9767922
>not eating the donuts as you browse the aisles for your food then "forgetting" to ring them up when you're checking out

[Anonymous No.9769273]

>>9769257
Lmfao

[Anonymous No.9769279]

>Buy organic produce
>Pay non-organic prices at the self checkout

LOCK ME UP

[Anonymous No.9769281]

>>9769215
are u a gril? if so that's hot

[Anonymous No.9769306]

>>9769279
Non-organic produce? Is there such a thing?

[Anonymous No.9769424]

>>9769306
No, inorganic produce on the other hand yes.

[Anonymous No.9769441]

>at dollar store
>buying snacks to smuggle into movie theater
>see some of those chocolate wafer roll things
>$2
>sounds like a fair price
>get them as well as some mother fucking chocolate covered almonds and a snickers or some shit
>at the checkout
>cashier scans my wafer roll things
>machine makes a beep but doesn't register them
>cashier doesn't notice
>she actually says to me "wow all this for only $1.80? good get"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.9769492]

>>9768699
denial and projection: the post.

[Anonymous No.9771269]

>>9768739
situations like this are my greatest fear. I'm so sorry anon

[Anonymous No.9771519]

>>9767927
this ones true isn't it

[Anonymous No.9771549]

>>9767922
And that's why we don't have ANY self checkout option anymore at my local store.

[Anonymous No.9771565]

>>9769238

Nice one anon

How does it feel to know that when the day Selassie I comes back you'll face judgement for your use of alcohol?

[Anonymous No.9771580]

Bought some cider when it was going for £7 for 6 bottles, one of the three boxes didn't scan properly but the self service didn't kick up a fuss when I paid. I only really noticed when I was loading up the car later.

[Anonymous No.9771582]

>>9768142
>>9768188
>ring up ~$100 of groceries in self checkout
>something weird happened putting everything in the cart
>can't remember exactly what, but it distracted me
>at home an hour later and realize I never paid
Went back in and paid for everything. I still don't understand how they have no idea what happened.

[Anonymous No.9771593]

>>9769424

m-machine lettuce?

[Anonymous No.9771599]

>>9767922
Stealing is for niggers

[Anonymous No.9771604]

>>9767922
>be 4yo
>mom gives me box of teddy grahms
>my fave
>"you want to start eating them?"
>"they aren't mine yet, you have to pay for them first"
>mom says "ok"
>never compel my mom to steal again

[Anonymous No.9771610]

>>9771582

No one who works there gets paid enough to care

[Anonymous No.9771785]

>>9767922
>Drive through at the BK
>I am waiting for ages at the window after giving my order
>"Fast food" my ass
>Woman hands me the food and says have a good day
>I never gave her my card
>Drive away just as I see the manager look over and start walking to her

[Anonymous No.9771796]

>>9769492
>muh picking up heavy things and putting them back down

[Anonymous No.9771807]

>>9767922
>at the bakery
>hold the bag slightly up on the scale
>get 50% off

[Anonymous No.9771811]

one time i got these honeycomb apples in a bag that are super expensive but the barcode wasnt registering so i just picked some random apples on the menu and got them for way cheaper

[Anonymous No.9771819]

>use green organic bag for non-organics
>check-out clerk to not use green bags since I'm not buying organic
>I like the green bags because green is my favorite color
>keep doing it every time I go there
>clerk gets tired of my shit and tells me i'm banned from the store
>pulls me by the ear and leads me to the exit
>opens the door
>throws me on the floor
>shamefully walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.9771858]

>accidentally leave Albertsons without paying for a steak
>return to store an pay for the steak.
you are all degenerates

[Anonymous No.9771908]

someone really needs to create a webm of a shoppers eye view of scanning loads of goods and the screen just says

steak
>banana 0.79
cheese
>banana 0.79
vodka
>banana 0.79
cat
>banana 0.79
baby
>banana 0.79
Carmen Miranda impersonator
>banana 0.79
banana
>ERROR: CALLING ATTENDENT

[Anonymous No.9771916]

>>9771807
I used to do that with pick and mix candy.

[Anonymous No.9771925]

>>9769219

>be 7 years old
>lego toy with old price stamp for 1.19
>go to buy it with saved up pennies
>attendent scans toy
>monitor price 1.29
>get accused of changing price stickers
>cry
>security called
>cry more
>parents buy toy at scanned price
>apologise for my actions
>get treated like shit for a month by parents for trying to steal toy
>i dint nuffin. but seriously for real, i dint nuffin :(

[Anonymous No.9771935]

>>9771811
no one will want to read your story if you dont green text it anon

[Anonymous No.9771941]

>>9771858
all the albertsons closed in my area..
i miss it ;-;

[Anonymous No.9771947]

>>9767927
Similar
>friend steals yugioh cards
>drops all of them from jacket
>getaway driver peels out
>friend left
>tackled
>face up on no welcome list

[Anonymous No.9771957]

>>9769441
>at the local co-op grocery shopping
>pickup some watermelon slices that were in the sale bin
>at checkout hippie cashier doesn't believe me that they are on sale and rings up the produce lady
>she confirms that they are only $2
>he tries to explain to me how i'm getting a "great deal" on these watermelon slices that should be $5 because of the cost of labor farming them and chopping them up
>tell him I don't give a shit and leave
>his face when

[Anonymous No.9771975]

>>9767922
>at Ralph’s
>just wanted jalapeño cheddar rolls
>go to self-checkout because lines are packed and I just have 1 item
>self-checkout has bakery menu
>bakery menu has no option for cheddar jalapeno rolls, only regular rolls
>pay $1 for my cheddar jalapeno rolls even though a clerk walked by like 3 times while I was paying

[Anonymous No.9771978]

>>9769238
10/10 content 6/10 greentexting ability

[Anonymous No.9772014]

>>9771975
Those attendants usually don't give a shit unless you have some tryhard dickeater.
One time when ringing up organic as regular the thing beeped for the attendant. I thought I was had but the dude just scanned his card and told the machine everything was fine and walked off.

[Anonymous No.9772088]

>getting some hot smoked salmon
>looking through the box with pieces of different sizes
>each piece is individually prized
>at the very bottom I find the largest piece of them all (530g if I remember correctly)
>it's prized at $12 cents
>decide to give it a try
>cashier either doesn't notice or doesn't care
>figured out that it should have cost about $22

I wonder if somone working there had stashed it at the bottom for themself..

[Anonymous No.9772135]

>>9767922
>At target bout a year and a half ago
>Need to buy some Gillette razors to shave, also pick up some cheetos
>Go to check out
>Lady rings up my cheetos, then puts the razor in the bag without ringing it up
>Get charged $3 for 4 razors
>End up growing a beard anyway, so I still have 3 of those cocksuckers sitting around
Suck my fucking dick Gillette (but thank you for the free razor on my 18th birthday). Hope the lady didn't get fired either

[Anonymous No.9772188]

When I was little my mom/dad would let get a drink me go over and read video game magazines while they grocery shopped.

I would walk up to the soda cooler in the back whenever Coke/Pepsi had a "Win a free soda under the cap" and start opening every drink and leaving them uncapped if I found a winner.

I'd eventually grab a nice Cream Soda/White Birch and run off.

Never got caught

[Anonymous No.9772203]

I always ring up quinoa as popcorn at self checkout, it's like .15/lb

[Anonymous No.9772211]

>>9767961
>self-actualization

c'mon now

[Anonymous No.9772219]

>>9771819
>he got told what to do by a cashier
Holy fucking kek grow some balls

[Anonymous No.9772237]

>>9772088
>$12 cents

[Anonymous No.9772276]

I love wegmans. They used to be ungodly nonstrict about weighed items being scanned. Perhaps their system at my store were old as fuck.

Their cheapest item, vanilla ganrola, was .89 per pound. But every time I would get about 8lb of pistachios that were priced at about 7.99 per pound. So I usually only paid about 7 bucks or less for 8x the amount of pistachios. It was amazing.

I would also routinely buy candies that were priced similarly to the granola (usually peach rings because theyre fucking amazing) and get them for cheaper.

I stopped when I got caught once. I was trying to buy something expensive as hell in the bag and had it rung up as bananas or something else and the machine caught it as an incorrect item. I just played it off that I didnt realize I typed the wrong code. Havent done it since, and I still love wegmans.

[Anonymous No.9772282]

>>9767922
I stole beer regularly from the same store for months, was never caught

[Anonymous No.9772283]

>>9771604
Such autism
You know you could start eating them and still pay for them at checkout?

[Anonymous No.9772293]

>notice a pack of gillette razors rubber banded closed
>open it
>the razors fall out
>put them in my pocket
>at checkout
>puss out and hand them to the cashier saying I found them on the ground

>>9772283
This. I've done it with meclizine and ginger ale before.

[Anonymous No.9772299]

>get a bunch of zucchini
>cashier rings them up as cucumbers because stupid
>take my bag of "cucumbers" and go without saying a word

[Anonymous No.9772311]

Sometimes if I do something like buy moldy cheese or forgot to check the eggs and they crack, or the bell pepper is moldy inside, I'll ring up some other item as something cheaper or in lesser quantity as a way of taking my money back

[Anonymous No.9772330]

This one time I successfully applied for a job, my employer paid me money for the work I did and I used it to buy items from the store at retail price.

[Anonymous No.9772357]

>Going through Timmy's cashier with a bag of 2 donuts
>"Is that one donut?"
>"Yep"

Also

>Going through same cashier with hot chocolate
>"One coffee?"
>"Yep"

[Anonymous No.9772360]

>>9772357
>coffee is cheaper than hot chocolate
Since when?

[Anonymous No.9772362]

>>9772360
Since I decided that I'm a badass.

[Anonymous No.9772388]

yeah honestly no one really cares about ringing up shit as bananas or something but blatant nigger stealing is really shitty desu

>tfw i used to steal from stores (food) but never from people
>realize I am a better person than that
>stop

I dont even make that much money

[Anonymous No.9772391]

>>9772388
Completely dependent on what stores you do it to.

[Anonymous No.9772400]

>at grocery store self-checkout
>get a large box of expensive chocolates
>place a cheap packet of gum over the barcode
>the machine scans the gum instead of the box of chocolates
heh, dumb machines

[Anonymous No.9772425]

>>9772237
Sorry, english is not my native language

[Anonymous No.9772433]

>get free donut from tims
>order free donut and coffee
>cashier messes up and inputs a free coffee
>puts a finger on her lips indicating a 'shh' sound
What did she mean by this? It was very based

[Anonymous No.9772438]

>>9772433
It was Himalayan tribal speak for "Rape my asshole until it bleeds"

[Anonymous No.9772441]

>>9772283
Then you have to explain to the cashier why you're a disgusting piece of shit and felt it necessary to eat your groceries while you were still walking down the isles.

[Anonymous No.9772442]

>>9772357
>Going through Timmy's cashier with a bag of 2 donuts
>"Is that one donut?"
>"Yep"
>"Could you open the bag, sir?"

[Anonymous No.9772446]

>>9772357
>>9772442
What? They bag it for you behind the glass counter

[Anonymous No.9772448]

>>9772293
what the fuck is meclizine

[Anonymous No.9772449]

>>9772441
lol no you don't, they don't care at all

[Anonymous No.9772450]

>>9772442
I was a little worried, but the universal tip for getting in trouble in life is to feign ignorance.

>"Yeah, here's the 2 donuts."

[Anonymous No.9772451]

>go to the place with $8 croissants and $14 toast every morning before work
>one day the girl cashier gives me a free croissant, "the one I took looked small so here's another" *wink*
>instantly drop my artisanal bucatini everywhere
>make an awkward joke that comes out sounding like a veiled threat
>replay the scene in my head all day
>avoid the place for 3 weeks
>come back
>hey! where ya been we missed you!?
>mumble something about work sending me to europe again
>turn deathly pale and rush out with my croissant
Why can't they follow the script?

[Anonymous No.9772456]

>>9772446
I think he's suggesting a hypothetical scenario where the cashier might not believe you and wanted to make sure it was only one.

[Anonymous No.9772458]

>>9772446
Not at the university Timmy's. You fill your own bag, pour your own drink, etc. and then pay for it at a grocery store type of cashier.

[Anonymous No.9772463]

>>9767927

>stole a shit ton of pokemon cards from target since the one near me got self checkout
>want to start playing magic but they put those little barcode things on the inside of the blister packs

[Anonymous No.9772470]

>>9772451
kek, what was the awkward joke?

[Anonymous No.9772516]

>>9772451
>artisinal bucatini
Someone's a bit of a fagottini

[Anonymous No.9772547]

>bulk foods
>just a bunch of candy, nuts, oats, seeds etc
>you write the code on the label
>write cheap codes for expensive items
>also vary your items, bananas are cheap but so are celery, onions, potatoes, etc.

[Anonymous No.9772560]

>>9772470
"don't ever try to cheat me again, or I will rape you and kill your family in the name of allah, you godless whore"

[Anonymous No.9772589]

Business idea:

>purchase an assortment of products under $1 with small barcodes
>go home
>photocopy the barcodes
>cut them to size
>apply some adhesive to the back of them
>go back to the store
>stick these barcodes on expensive products
>scan at self-serve checkout
>sell the products for 1/3 of the store price on ebay

[Anonymous No.9772596]

>>9767922
>Buying stuff for the month
>Cashier is doing his work
>I'm carrying a pack of milk
>Cashier is done with the groceries
>I walk out normally
>The guard wasn't paying attention
>They have cameras but somehow didn't notice
>I had forgotten that I had milk untill I got home
>I get home and realize I didn't pay or the milk
>profit

[Anonymous No.9772599]

>>9772589
barcodes only work once dumb dumb

[Anonymous No.9772639]

>>9772599
proofs?

[Anonymous No.9772643]

>>9772014
I mean it’s understandable, not like they’re going to get a promotion because they got someone to pay .50¢ more for broccoli

[Anonymous No.9772671]

>>9772639
how the fuck am I supposed to prove that to you over the internet

[Anonymous No.9772708]

>>9772448
>what is google
Antihistamine
It can treat motion sickness and vertigo.

[Anonymous No.9772747]

>>9772708
why the fuck are you getting fucking motion sickness and vertigo at the fucking grocery store

[Anonymous No.9772748]

>>9771582
Half the staff or more knick things off the shelves anyway. They were bewildered you had a sense of consciousness to come back and pay.

Good call though - had security noticed they may have had you on a watch list and would have waited til you got back and held you up til police arrived. Floor staff are usually trained not to chase a shift lifter in case they're armed.

[Anonymous No.9772814]

>>9772599
wat? the barcode for one product is the same on every unit of that product

[Anonymous No.9772834]

>>9771582
>live in the south during the last days of gas stations where you could just pull up and pump gas
>pull up and pump car full of gas
>just drive off
>was too embarrassed to ever go back and pay

nothing happened/10

[Anonymous No.9772841]

I once stole another mans lego piece

[Anonymous No.9772844]

>>9772599
you're an idiot, barcodes are per product/variant, they are not single use

source: used to program fucking barcodes nationally

[Anonymous No.9772878]

>be me
>18
>work at olive garden
>run out of spaghetti AND linguine
>wat
>asked to go to store
>given $100 bill
>buy as much as I can
> cart overflowing with generic boxes of pasta
>99 something
>keep change

Cant make this shit up lads

[Anonymous No.9772933]

>>9772330
If that's not hardcore badass, I don't know what is.

[Anonymous No.9773056]

>>9772747
Chronic condition that my neurologist prescribed propranolol and meclizine for.

[Anonymous No.9773084]

>>9772219
Was he supposed to whip out duct tape and seal the cashier's mouth shut?

[Anonymous No.9773107]

>>9773084
No, he was supposed to ask for a manager and get the idiot fired for assaulting a paying customer.

[Anonymous No.9773251]

>>9769424
is it made of plastic?

[Anonymous No.9773266]

>buy chocolate covered almonds from bulk aisle
>write chocolate covered peanut code
>Buy bulk Jasmine rice
>Write regular rice code

EVERY TIME IM IN THE STREETS I HEAR YAWK YAWK YAWK

[Anonymous No.9773271]

>>9772088
I did this with a rotissery chicken

[Anonymous No.9773272]

>>9771582
when self checkout was a new concept, i did this one time. I think i walked out with over $200 in groceries

[Anonymous No.9773291]

>>9767927
>mfw I was shoplifting for months without getting caught
>mfw I get caught and I only get escorted out
>mfw my friends get arrested the very next day for shoplifting in that same store

[Anonymous No.9773301]

>>9773107
>thinking the story was real

holy shit dude

[Anonymous No.9773315]

i'm a security guard who's worked several loss prevention jobs.

i don't give a fuck about theft. not for $10/hr.

[Anonymous No.9773371]

>>9772391
How is theft different because chains make more money? It is about your morals not their profit asshole. Would you like it if a third world person broke into your house and stole your shit? You make so much more than him it's justified he gets your TV right?

[Anonymous No.9773378]

>>9773301
I don't think the story was real. But if you think a cashier has any type of power, you're wrong. If they assault a customer, they get fired.

[Anonymous No.9773384]

>>9772433
She wanted your penis

[Anonymous No.9773407]

>shoplifting
Literally nigger behaviour

[Anonymous No.9773445]

>at checkers in the checkout line
>5 year old me sees cookies and cream chocolate bar
>ask mom if I can have it she says no
>stick it in back pocket anyway when no one is looking
>she notices I have it on drive home
>turns car around and makes me apologize to the store manager
That day sucked

[Anonymous No.9773450]

>>9773445
Bet it was worth it, though. That's the real good shit.

[Anonymous No.9773453]

>>9773450
you know it

[Anonymous No.9773492]

>>9769238
You know alcohol enemas can kill you right? It goes into your system way faster that way so it's really easy to poison yourself.

[Anonymous No.9773497]

>>9773371
Stealing from Wal-Mart is inherently different than stealing from the indian-ran corner store and you know it. It may be nigger tier behavior but fuck the big chains, they exploit enough people everyday to be able to afford me knicking a candy bar.

[Anonymous No.9773508]

>>9772463
>take price sticker from booster pack
>put it on booster box
>go to self checkout or find an old person cashier who probably won't know any better
>????
>PROFIT

[Anonymous No.9773517]

>>Weigh fruits while slightly holding bag up with finger
>>Skip bagging
This and the markdown wal-mart chicken after 7:30PM is what got me through my poorfag years.

[Anonymous No.9773536]

>>9773497
You are no better.

[Anonymous No.9773556]

>>9773251
Plastic is organic

[Anonymous No.9773690]

>>9773407
oh no, did the multibillion dollar company lose a few dollars?

[Anonymous No.9773707]

>>9769272
>eating something in a store before you pay for it
That's pure white trash, Anon.

[Anonymous No.9773714]

>>9773371
maybe they shouldn't make it so easy to steal, no one is going to lose their job because i steal, people are going to lose their jobs if supermarket giants keep implementing more self-serve checkouts.

[Anonymous No.9773724]

>>9773707
>eating shit before you buy your shit
This
Pure degenerate

[Anonymous No.9773735]

>>9773724
>consuming the produce before paying
Agreed, fuck people who do this.

[Anonymous No.9773739]

>>9773707
>>9773724
>>9773735
kek, samefag

[Anonymous No.9773753]

>>9772589
https://www.inquisitr.com/832669/man-steals-600000-worth-of-legos/

[Anonymous No.9773805]

>>9772516
He dropped his spaghetti you fuckin maroon

[Anonymous No.9773808]

>>9767922
>Be me, 14 years old
>Friend at school has an endless supply of candy which he sells to classmates inbetween classes
>I am confusion
>motherfucker is selling the goods at unbelievable low prices
>ask how tf hes able to sell for so low, where he gets his merchandise
>turns out hes shoplifting from the local dollar store
>says its super easy, so I try my luck
>I go in, heart is racing a million beats a minute, neverfeltsoalive.jpg
>browse the candy section for my heist
>wait for the coast to clear and begin
> I grab all my favourites, (canadian) smarties mars bars, kitkats, skittles, etc etc
>Start stuffing my pockets, they get full so I stuffing between me and my waistband like a candy belt
>employees are starting to get suspicious, so I grab a a bag of chips and head to the counter, I spent so long in there I would have to buy sonethig without standing out
>knees weak arms spaghetti, im nervous but I keep on spaghetti
>I notice the candy in my waistband is beginning to fall down my pants
>oh god no
>manage to pay and gtfo sweating bullets
>leave and start walk back out the mall, afraid of adjusting the falling candy
>nearing the door a bunch of it falls to the floor and I freeze not daring to look back
>someone calls at me
Hey kid!
>oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck Im so fucking dead
>its a security guard
You should really get a bag so you dobt drop all your stuff
> I nod pick up my shit and leave
That was the first and last time

[Anonymous No.9773838]

>>9773707
>mfw reporting this shit to the cs desk and getting people banned from the store
its always whites too

[Anonymous No.9773844]

>>9773291
Are you fucking 16?

[Anonymous No.9773919]

>>9769257
woah

[Anonymous No.9774216]

>>9773753
>First paragraph reiterates title
>Rest of the article is a completely unrelated story

So this is 'journalism'?

[Anonymous No.9774887]

>>9772276
you're a degenerate.

[Anonymous No.9774893]

>>9773714
>they shouldn't make it so easy to steal
>women shouldn't make it so easy to rape
>japan shouldn't make it so easy to bomb

[Anonymous No.9775323]

>>9767925
it was that small, eh?

[Anonymous No.9775361]

>>9773707
I do this all the time, I always pay for whatever it is though. They literally have free samples stationed around, they want you to taste stuff while shopping

[Anonymous No.9775389]

>go into gas station shop bathroom with a can of beer
>chug it and throw it in trashcan in bathroom
>don't get caught and leave

[Anonymous No.9775521]

>>9771807
It's damn near impossible to be slick about this, you have to have the steadiest of hands to get the machine to rest long enough on a weight to charge you for it.

Also who the fuck pays for bread by weight?

[Anonymous No.9775597]

>>9772388

ringing up steak as bananas isn't much better at all than just slipping a lobster down your pants.

[Anonymous No.9776198]

>cashier
>teenage girl with her father at checkout
>girl wants a bag of cookies
>father says no
>girl is cute af
>place is fucking packed, managers not paying attention
>"accidentally" bag the cookies without scanning them
>girl opens her mouth
>"shh" and wink
>she smiles at me and waves on the way out

fuck I wanted to smash her desu

[Anonymous No.9776587]

>>9771925
>changing a price sticker to save 10 cents
God, what sort of dumbass would believe someone did this?

[Anonymous No.9776594]

>>9775597
but it's not as kinky

[Anonymous No.9776596]

>>9776587
I would care if they are indian because they do that shit to literally everything.

[Anonymous No.9776600]

>>9776587
7 year olds do dumb shit and if he was paying with pennies like he said, it seems very possible he might not have had 10 more pennies.

[Anonymous No.9776603]

>shoplift several hundreds worth if food for months
>finally get caught
>they take your information and push you up at the police for 13 dollars
>mfw they have no idea how much is actually missing
>mfw they use self-checkouts yet expect everyone to pay properly

[Anonymous No.9776610]

>bought some local tomatoes from the store
>when the cashier asked if they are local or foreign i said foreign since foreign are cheaper
>got them at the price of foreign tomatoes
also same store and same time:
>throw a couple of meatpies on the paper pag
>hide a few smaller "meat pies" behind them
>cashier only checks for 2 standard-sized meat pies so i got 2 smaller for free
Lidl is harder to scam than other stores but it can be done.

[Anonymous No.9776622]

>>9771925
>Get treated like shit by parents for 10 cents
wtf

[Anonymous No.9776677]

>>9769257
we need more grocery store jester stories

[Anonymous No.9776752]

>work in bakery/deli
>free food erryday
>always walk out w pastries, donuts, etc marked as cheaper item or unpaid
>pour myself lg size hot chocolate or cappuccino and have it rung up as sm coffee
>grab cup and get free soda refills all day, tho refills are 89c
>do all this in front of other employees n security dudes, but no one cares

[Anonymous No.9776796]

>>9773508
>stickers

I wish, everything is already printed on product so I can't just swap stickers.

[Anonymous No.9776899]

>>9773497
>thinking you're getting back at the big bad corporations by stealing
The only people who suffer are the employees who don't have anywhere else to go. You're not taking money out of a fat capitalist's overstuffed pockets by stealing a piece of candy. If you're going to be a thief don't try and justify yourself as the modern day Robin Hood.

[Anonymous No.9777083]

>>9774893

Nonironically all valid points.

[Anonymous No.9777378]

>>9774893
cool, stealing from trillion dollar companies is a victimless crime.

[Anonymous No.9777516]

>Buying bulk granola at Winco
>Two kinds look very similar but one is 50 cents cheaper by the pound
>Get the more expensive granola but write the cheaper number on the ticket
Did the same thing with chocolate covered cherries.

[Anonymous No.9777528]

>Go to store
>Use self checkout
>Scan and pay for every item
>Go home, knowing I'm not a filthy nigger
Best day of my life.

[Anonymous No.9777542]

>>9777516
i love winco. even when i dont do the ol number switch place is so cheap i love it

[Anonymous No.9777555]

>be me at self checkout
>place chicken wings on scale
>say it's potatoes
>save $6 at least a few times a month for years
>mfw

[Anonymous No.9777573]

>>9777542
I like to go there and touch all the produce.

[Anonymous No.9777579]

>>9767922
>at grocery store
>steal 30€ bottle of scotch

tha end

[Anonymous No.9777606]

>>9773492
you're implying that's real

anything beyond a few shots is grounds to get hospitalized.

[Anonymous No.9777721]

>>9777528
cuck

[Anonymous No.9777730]

>>9777721
nigger

[Anonymous No.9777774]

>>9777555
>be me
wow thanks for clearing that up

[Anonymous No.9777821]

>store mislabels whole scotch fillets as nearly expired reduced price rump
>about 70% cheaper

got three of them. so much steak.

[Anonymous No.9777864]

mfw 1 year into my 2 year ban from my local grocer for shoplifting.

[Anonymous No.9777903]

>>9776600
What 7-year-old has spare $1.19 price tags laying around dumbass

[Anonymous No.9777914]

>>9767922
>at grocery store self-checkout
>get a white onion
>manually input it as a yellow onion
>mfw 5 cents off

[Anonymous No.9777920]

>>9777864
>mfw my store has a 100 year minimum.

[Anonymous No.9777936]

>>9777914
>There has ever been a grocery store that doesn't make white onions the cheapest onion since they are the most undesirable
Fuck off Kushner with your lies

[Anonymous No.9777942]

>>9777903
They could have swapped price tags around

[Anonymous No.9777964]

>>9767922
>in line at the store
>really have to poo
>can't hold it in any longer and poop myself
>everyone looks at me
>lie to them I'm visiting from America

[Anonymous No.9778155]

>>9777774
welcome, newfriend

[Anonymous No.9778181]

>>9773517
I've done this to mail stuff before.

>weigh package on self serve machine
>is too heavy for first class, have to pay $10 more for priority
>it's like 2 a.m. so no witnesses
>hit redo
>hold up corner of package so it weighs less
>pay $3 for a $20 package fee
>recipient confirmed they got it just fine

I would probably feel bad doing it at a grocery but fuck if I care about the post office

[Anonymous No.9778440]

>>9776198
>teenager
>can't buy her own cookies

[Anonymous No.9778865]

>>9768739
please improge your English skills. for the sake of all involved

[Anonymous No.9778866]

>go to grocery store
>ring up filet mignon as bananas
>lol too easy

You fucking retards aren't being clever this is just stealing. Why even bother 'ringing it up' when anyone who checks your items is going to know you are a scammer immediately?

[Anonymous No.9778910]

>>9772362
Why is this making me laugh

[Anonymous No.9778917]

>>9775323
Kek

[Anonymous No.9778922]

>>9772425

[Anonymous No.9778931]

>>9772834
>last days of gas station
Are you Mad Max?