/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9745196]

>character on TV walks into a bar
>"Gimme a beer"
>luckily the bar must only sell one kind, as the barmen can comply with the vague order

[Anonymous No.9745200]

>>9745196
you just get the regular beer on the tap, retard.
every bar has it's standard beer

[Anonymous No.9745205]

>>9745200
I seriously hope you don't go in to a bar and ask for "a beer". Are you by chance a millennial or a negro?

[Anonymous No.9745212]

>>9745205
I never said I do.
I only order decent belgium ones mostly, depending on where I am.
look, why do you care so much if people just order a beer, not everyone is a snob like us. let them be.

[Anonymous No.9745247]

>2017
>still pretending beer tastes "good"
>not drinking wine with your wife in the leisure of your own home
>not being married
>2017

[Anonymous No.9745249]

>"gimme a large glass of your house red"
>millennial, fuccboi barman stares at me from behind a veritable forest of misguided facial hair decisions.
>I can feel the seething hatred emanating from his meme addled eyes.

>"p..p..p..please"

get a glass of luke warm merlot that was decent

[Anonymous No.9745264]

>>9745249
Lol

[Anonymous No.9745266]

>>9745200
What shithole bars do you go to that don't have at least 10 beers on tap?

[Anonymous No.9745273]

>>9745196
It's more common than you think

[Anonymous No.9745278]

>>9745212
I think you're missing the point. I can't imagine a bar having one single beer on tap. The bartender would immediately ask for clarification on which beer you want, unless you specifically told him you don't care.

[Anonymous No.9745317]

>>9745247
>Current year -1 +1
>Why must others continue to hold bothersome taste preferences that I do not?

Significant autism detected. Is your wife actually your caretaker?

[Anonymous No.9745361]

>>9745278
In other countries it's very common for a bar to have a basic beer they will give you if you just ask for a beer. It's not that they only have one.

[Anonymous No.9745367]

>>9745278
>>9745361
A lot of places will just assume you want the cheapest tap or bottle and hand you a Bud or Coors.

[Anonymous No.9746006]

>>9745205
>A millennial
We're into specific craft beers stop throwing that insult around if you don't even understand the stereotype

[Anonymous No.9746029]

>>9745205
>always order everything by brand
Most people at bars here aren't there for good drinks. Only numales would get uppity about their beer or booze in a regular bar.

[Anonymous No.9746038]

>>9745196
>"Une Blonde Roger s'il te plaît"
>Roger then proceeds to pour me the cheapest blond beer available.
Et voilà-

[Anonymous No.9746088]

>>9745249
The house red? Do you even know what the house red is? Are you even an expert on wine? Because, if you're not, I don't know on what basis you venture to order it.
I saw you here last week. I saw you drinking your soup. I saw you blowing and slurping and dunking your bread. We all saw you. We were watching you on the monitors in the kitchen and we all thought you were a dick.

[Anonymous No.9746133]

>>9745196
>not living in glorious franconia in germany getting beer from the brewery's own pub
>not having 36 breweries many older than silly america with several good beers around you
>thinking fucking hipster craft beers

i have nothing than pity for you

>I only order decent belgium ones
>belgium
>decent

wow...no words

[Anonymous No.9746159]

>>9746133
Those breweries will be shutting down soon so enjoy them while you can and learn to Homebrew if you are an alkie who needs to be drunk

[Anonymous No.9746168]

Do amerilards really not do this?

[Anonymous No.9746169]

>>9745205
Are you 40 or 15 and what the fuck are you doing here?

[Anonymous No.9746172]

>>9745196
Piss off.

[Anonymous No.9746182]

>walk into a bar and ask for a lager
>get delicious Yuengling

[Anonymous No.9746193]

>>9746159
i sure am enjoying it, americuck. no worries.
sorry, this isn't fucking lardland where we drink the national pisswater. closing down for more than one or two is more far away than you from culture.

[Anonymous No.9746194]

>>9746169
>Muh safe space for millennial retards

Jokes on you I'm a boomer. Kindly stick to your picklejerk threads

[Anonymous No.9746204]

>>9746194
If you're 60 and spend your time in this shithole I'm pretty sure the joke's on you.

[Anonymous No.9746209]

>tv show doesn't want to endorse any particular beer
>op can't suspend his disbelief for something so minor

[Anonymous No.9746223]

>>9746193
They will all be shutdown to please your replacements

[Anonymous No.9746236]

>>9746193
How long have you had this obsession with America and have you sought help for it?

[Anonymous No.9746245]

>>9746223
>bringing political nonsense you read on /pol/ to a beer thread on /ck/ because you don't know what to say
i am struck by your arguments, i applaud you

[Anonymous No.9746255]

>>9746236
Sorry if i hurt your feelings, but don't worry, the pisswater syndrome is huge out of the usa, too.

[Anonymous No.9746258]

>>9745317
she can be both

[Anonymous No.9746263]

>>9746088
>he goes to a restaurant where cameras watch you dine

[Anonymous No.9746265]

>>9745196
>underage detected
when a customer ask for anything non-specific, then it's understood that they want the cheapest thing. In the case of beer, it means the cheapest thing on tap served in a pint glass.

[Anonymous No.9746275]

>>9745205
>He isn't bros with the bartender who knows your go to brew

Beta cuck

[Anonymous No.9746285]

>>9746133
>tfw living in America and have several good breweries within a 15 minute drive from my house
>they all have their own bar that usually also has great food
>no shitty meme beers brewed with fruit loops and candy canes, just well made ales, stouts, etc
I feel bad for my fellow Americans who don't live in a city with any good breweries, and only know the taste of pisswater macrobrews.

[Anonymous No.9746354]

>>9746088
"house red" is a euphemism for the cheap red that they buy in bulk

[Anonymous No.9746481]

>>9745196
You forgot the part where he's served instantly, and no money is ever exchanged. Otherwise, yeah.

This always bugs me movies/tv. I'm completely baffled by these replies claiming this is okay. Even if you were somewhere where the bartender doesn't stand there looking at you like you're an idiot, why would you be okay with getting served their house beer? Totally insane and ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.9746490]

>>9746182
That's gross. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[Anonymous No.9746512]

>>9746245
Not him, but all the Germans I have asked have all whined about the influx of minorities and refugees. Never even been to /pol/. I just asked how the country was out of curiosity to compare to my own.

[Anonymous No.9746530]

>>9745196
I bet you don't know what a well shot is, either.

[Anonymous No.9746532]

>>9746133
look mein freund, I'm swiss and your decent beers come from bavaria. edelstoff for example. so yea, thanks to the crippling Reinheitsgebot you perfected pilsner, but that's it. with all other sorts of beer, belgiums are the best. no need to be mad.
still pretty cute that you think your beers are special

[Anonymous No.9746536]

>>9745266
They still have a standard beer if you say you want a beer though. At least in Europe they do.

[Anonymous No.9746539]

>>9745205
Do you also play with your fidget spinners while spelling out the name of your regular beer order?

[Anonymous No.9746543]

>>9745247
Beer tastes way better than wine

[Anonymous No.9746545]

>>9746182
I don't know which state this is

[Anonymous No.9746560]

>>9745196
>be bartender
>customer says, "gimmie a beer"
>give him the most expensive beer on tap

[Anonymous No.9746579]

>>9746133
Literally 90% of your beers taste like literal horse piss.

Imagine going into a "getränkemarkt" and only seeing shit beers stapled in crates with a few highlights in between. Still only pilsener though.

Imagine going into a bar, being able to only order a pilsener or weiss bier from one brand. Then hopping to another bar, either have the same choices of another brand that taste fairly similar or the same.

That's Germany for you, my friend. Some very good pilsener, some very good weiss bier, but that's it.

While in Belgium you have a wide arrange of different beers with different tastes arranging from very bad to very good. And everywhere you go you can get that wide arrange of choice.

[Anonymous No.9746596]

>>9745361
Ive always found a bit of comfort in this, sure its nice have a huge selection of beers, but at the same time just saying pilsner or dunkel is enough.

[Anonymous No.9746645]

>>9746354
>>9746263
Would sir care to see the manager?

[Anonymous No.9746650]

>>9746133
>visit germany
>all beers come in 0.5l bottles
>and 0.5l bottles only
>choose between an infinite variety of piss-coloured slightly carbonated wheatwater or cloudy piss-coloured vaguely carbonated wheatwater
>choose between 5% strength and 5% strength
>leave empty bottles next to trashcans so the pensionless elderly don't have to dig them out
>donate empty bottles to beggars in subway stations
>tip the beneath-the-povertyline microjob bartenders with empy bottles
>never even get drunk
at least you have that cheaper-than-vodka vodka-like thing called "korn", that stuff's passable

[Anonymous No.9746655]

>>9745247
wine is the second shittiest kind of alcohol (the shittiest is champagne). it tastes like vomit

[Anonymous No.9746765]

>>9745205
I hope to god you go to Ireland or England and get your shit beat in at a pub.

[Anonymous No.9746933]

>>9745196
Depending where you live there might be a default. A lot of bars either stock Coors or Budweiser, so asking for a beer will always get you one of those. Some places default to a local beer. For example, In parts of New Jersey asking for a beer gets a Yuengling, In parts of Maryland asking for a beer gets a Natty Boh.

[Anonymous No.9746940]

>>9745205
I am a millenial, yes. But asking for a beer is not wrong you complete and utter fucking nigger.

[Anonymous No.9746952]

>>9746765
kek

[Anonymous No.9746991]

>>9746088
>>9746263
>>9746354
It's a reference you memes

[Anonymous No.9746992]

>>9745200
That's not true. You'd look like an ass asking for "a beer."

[Anonymous No.9746998]

>>9745361
In Spain it was often amstel. Just ask for a cervesa and get a delicious lager. Good deal.

[Anonymous No.9747759]

>>9745196
>Harry Potter reaction image
>completely irrelevant part of a story unless you're in a beer ad
>"HA HA! LOOK AT THAT TV FAG! HE DOESN'T NAMEDROP BEER LIKE HE'S IN A COMMERICAL!"
millennial beta soyboy: the post.

[Anonymous No.9747769]

>>9745196
>not having the waitstaff/barman asking you if you'd like your beer
plebs, the lotta ya

[Anonymous No.9747967]

>>9746169
*39- *22.

[Anonymous No.9747994]

>go to millenial bar inhabited by the soi-est of boiz
>at least they have good beer
>order a hefeweizen
>comes in a fucking wine glass
>leave without paying

[Anonymous No.9748030]

>>9746182
What the fuck is this? Pennsylvania?

[Anonymous No.9748081]

>>9746998
San Miguel is not a delicious lager

[Anonymous No.9748300]

>>9745196
I can pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer

[Anonymous No.9748328]

>>9745196
OP is a faggot who never heard of beer on tap and can't process basic things like fixed measurements (a glass of beer is the default 33cl) which means that if you go to a bar and ask for a beer, you get tap beer in a 33cl glass. Fucking idiot OP.

[Anonymous No.9748338]

>>9748300
>american beer

[Anonymous No.9748344]

>>9745196
underage flyover soyboy kys

[Anonymous No.9748481]

>>9746133
Belgium has the best beers in the world, while you have the shittiest piss.

[Anonymous No.9748837]

>>9746088
David, is that you?

[Anonymous No.9748842]

>>9748081
Almost always served amstel. That's what even the bus and train stations had on tap.

[Anonymous No.9748877]

>>9745205

>ordering brands

what are you, an alcoholic? just order a fucking beer and let it be a fucking surprise if you have to. what a faggot

[Anonymous No.9748887]

>>9746204
does being a certain age on 4chan really make you less of a loser than everyone else here?

[Anonymous No.9748926]

>>9748887
kids think this is some kind of a supah sekreet klub

[Anonymous No.9749230]

>>9746560
But they don't get very expensive relative to domestic

[Anonymous No.9749252]

>tfw regular at a pub
>can ask for a beer and they know what one to give me
>half the time I can just walk in and by the time I sit down they already have the beer open and waiting for em

[Anonymous No.9749254]

>>9745196
>character on TV walks into a bar
>"Gimme a beer"
>luckily the bartender actually knows his job and can assume by just one look at your whiny soy-face, that you prefer a glass of piss

[Anonymous No.9749268]

OP hasn't actually been to a bar

It's perfectly fine doing that.

If they ask what kind, you answer. Otherwise you get whatever is their standard

[Anonymous No.9749292]

>>9745196
100% normal in Europe

[Anonymous No.9749333]

>>9745196
Mate, thats perfectly normal. Every region has it's standart beer and beer size and they will give you that standart beer in the standart beer size.

[Anonymous No.9749575]

>>9746088

[Anonymous No.9749723]

>>9745196
>Obviously just a device used to avoid saying copyrighted brand names

[Anonymous No.9749918]

>>9749723
>Not flipping the script and getting paid to product place bud lite lime©®

[Anonymous No.9751179]

Why is this "Outside of /b/"™?

[Anonymous No.9751239]

>>9745196
You want a beer you get the cheapest shit on tap. There you go.

[Anonymous No.9751337]

>See that the bar only has Bombay and Tanqueray
>Order a Gin & Tonic and ask if they have Beefeater

[Anonymous No.9751363]

>>9745266
A small bar can't have 10 beers on tap, you need to be in a city AND have a large flow of beer hipsters to not have to throw away the majority of your beer that way.

A small bar in continental Europe will a lot of the time have only one beer on tap, a Pilsner. In the UK they'll need Ales too.

[Anonymous No.9751379]

You want a Pepsi pal you're gonna pay for it!

[Anonymous No.9751488]

>>9746481
A tab is a thing in many places

[Anonymous No.9751908]

>>9751488
>being too poor to pay on the spot

[Anonymous No.9752540]

>>9746285
>tfw living in America and have several good breweries within a 15 minute walk from my house

[Anonymous No.9752549]

>>9748328
>a glass of beer is the default 33cl
jesus christ amerikkka is weird

[Anonymous No.9752889]

>>9745196
UK guy here, many bars will just give you whatever shit they have abundance of, it's certainly not that unusual for people to ask just for beer - but expect anywhere that has a moderate selection to specify - even then just saying house gets you something usually

[Anonymous No.9753393]

>>9752889
Why would you say house? Does someone live at the bar?

[Anonymous No.9753635]

>>9746088
I'm sorry, what happened to the friendly Australian waiter that was here last week?

[Anonymous No.9753640]

>>9746182
I used to drink lionshead a lot when I lived down there

[Anonymous No.9753671]

>>9753393
The house red usually just refers to a pretty cheap red wine sold by the glass.

[Anonymous No.9754102]

>>9751908
I think it's more about convenience for most people.

[Anonymous No.9754110]

It's called the house red because it's the wine that lives at the restaurant. Ergo, it's the wine's house. House red.

[Anonymous No.9754360]

>>9746193
America has better beer than Germany

[Anonymous No.9754364]

>>9746285
There is tons of craft beer available where I live and most people still drink macros

[Anonymous No.9754374]

>>9751363
I live in a suburb and the local pub I go to has 22 beers on tap

[Anonymous No.9754407]

>>9754360
flyover detected

[Anonymous No.9754408]

>>9745196
Belgian here, nothing more common here than asking the bartender for a beer, depending on where you are in the country you're also pretty certain of what you'll get.
where i live it's gonna be Stella.
if you're in a noisy place you can just put your pinky up and you'll get the same thing.
Life is good

[Anonymous No.9754414]

>>9754407
It's true. America has a huge craft beer scene, and now produces the best beer in the world.

[Anonymous No.9754420]

>>9754414
come back in a few hundred years. slight chance by then, maybe.

[Anonymous No.9754432]

>>9754420
Okay, keep drinking your pisswater Oettinger and Krombacher

[Anonymous No.9754440]

>>9754432
I'm not pointing at german beer, I'm talking about belgian beers.
still I'd drink an Edelstoff or Schneider Weisse anytime over your stuff.

[Anonymous No.9754445]

>>9754440
Have you even had our craft beer?

[Anonymous No.9754454]

>>9754445
yes.

[Anonymous No.9754456]

>>9754454
like what?

[Anonymous No.9754460]

>>9754454
Bet you haven't had scrimshaw

[Anonymous No.9754467]

>>9745196
Haha fags. I don't order when I go to my bar, my beer starts getting poured the second the wench sees me walk in the door. I get a buy one, get everything else for free special. I constantly steal from my restaurant in order to get this favor, but who cares, free booze and hot chicks dudd

[Anonymous No.9754472]

>>9745196
I've never really thought about that, it's a good question! I'm a popular youtuber and actually you just gave me a great idea "Going to bars and asking for a beer" will be a video I'll make pretty soon. Thanks OP I'll probably make around 10k off of your post!

[Anonymous No.9754503]

>>9745196
If you don't understand why they do this in shows, and just deal with it, you're fucking autistic.

[Anonymous No.9754516]

>>9754467
It really is peak comfy to have bartenders know you by name, and have your beer ready for you when you sit down.

[Anonymous No.9754574]

>>9754456
Sam Adams

[Anonymous No.9754599]

>>9754574
Gross.

[Anonymous No.9754602]

>>9745196
OP, come on. You must realise. Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries, hell, it sure would help a lot. I mean... Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you just... sometimes you...

...WANNAGOWHEREEVERYBODYKNOWSYOURNAAAAAAAAAME...

[Anonymous No.9754677]

>>9754602
>BUM BUM DAH DUM

[Anonymous No.9755589]

>>9748877
underrage detected

[Anonymous No.9755622]

>>9751908
A tab means you're paying with a card by the end of your visit. Most places here have a card minimum so you have to start a tab or buy a round anyway

[Anonymous̩ No.9755625]

>>9745247
>2020-3
>not drinking liquor like an adult

[Anonymous No.9755628]

>>9754440
Try a Riverwest Stein and get back to me

t. flyover

[Anonymous No.9755659]

>>9746182
>Yuengling
Is that what they serve in Chinese restaurants?

[Anonymous̩ No.9755660]

>>9748300
when are they bringing this show back? I want to see if they can do it properly

[Anonymous No.9755681]

>>9746560
>most expensive beer is $1 more than the cheapest

[Anonymous No.9755784]

>>9745205
>>9747759

>you're a millenial if you ask for "a beer"
>you're a millenial if you don't "NAMEDROP BEER LIKE A COMMERCIAL"

you guys are fucking retarded

[Anonymous No.9755798]

>>9755659
yeah at the china spots they call em :yangs:

[Anonymous No.9755841]

I just drink at home.

[Anonymous No.9755912]

>>9755841
Jesus Christ, is Jack really this bad?

[Anonymous No.9755913]

>>9745196
>man walks into a bar
>"I'd like a glass of wine please
>"Any particular kind?" bartender asks with a clear note of contempt in his voice
>man thinks
>"Grape"

[Anonymous No.9755918]

>>9755659
Yuengling is a German surname. The beer's brewed in Pennsylvania.

[Anonymous No.9755936]

>>9755912
He's the embodiment of "I was just pretending to be retarded"

[Anonymous No.9756089]

>>9754574
Sam Adams Boston Lager is a classic, but that's far from the only craft beer available.

[Anonymous No.9756139]

>>9756089
>Boston Lager
>Craft beer

Pick one

[Anonymous No.9756149]

>>9756139
Just because it's widely distributed doesn't mean it's not craft. Not everything needs to be some obscure, 12% ABV quadruple IPA or milkshake stout

And have you ever had their Boston Ale? That shit is even better than the Lager

[Anonymous No.9756158]

>>9746765
i hate you

[Anonymous No.9756166]

>>9746765
At the current rate, chances are high he'd be beat up by a Muslim if he went to Ireland or England. Enjoy your multiculturalism, retard.

[Anonymous No.9756213]

>>9756149
Its only categorized as a microbrewer/craft beer because sam adams lobbied to get the rules changed.

[Anonymous No.9756215]

>>9756213
Craft beer doesn't have to be micro, it just means that they put care into the beer

[Anonymous No.9756240]

>>9756166
hmm yes that 1% muslim population in ireland truly killing and beating everyone what a menace

[Anonymous No.9756282]

>>9745212
>belgium ones
>not “Belgian”
You’re a mong.

[Anonymous No.9756315]

>>9756282
oh noes a typo. how many languages do you actually speak? 5 here. suit yourself mong

[Anonymous No.9756329]

>>9746133
Belgian beer is number one in the world without question.

[Anonymous No.9756354]

>>9748081
He just said Amstel, you semiliterate cunt. (Not that Amstel is anything to write home about.)

[Anonymous No.9756356]

>>9754360
Kek

[Anonymous No.9756376]

>>9745205
I go to bar to get more drunk, so the cheapest tap beer is an excellent choice

[Anonymous No.9756495]

>>9756376
So a negro, then?

[Anonymous No.9756497]

>>9756329

[Anonymous No.9756574]

>>9746133

What local beers do you like Frankenbro? I like Schlappeseppel. Any Getränke markt favorites? Wűrzburg doesn't have the best beer but there's some decent food here

[Anonymous No.9756600]

>>9745196
You ask for just a beer at the bar in my hood and you'd get shot. We got Barq's, IBC, Mug, A&W etc. You gotta specify that shit.

[Anonymous No.9756608]

>>9748300
Yes please, no need for the bucket

[Anonymous No.9756690]

>>9756315
Why do Eurotrash pride themselves on the number of languages they speak? Great, you know enough Arabic to encourage Abdul when he's fucking your sister. English is the one and only language that matters.

[Anonymous No.9756726]

>walking into local pub
>many salutations and greetings from other regulars in the pub
>firm handshake to barman
>"Usual please Brian"
>free packet of pork scratchings

Being British is much easier

[Anonymous No.9756998]

>>9756726
>Walk into the bar next door
>Chorus of "hey" and "this guy" for the guy walking in behind me
>Tell bartender Ill have the usual
>Growler of highest abv on the tap and a hot dog
>Stuff my pocket with bar napkins while bartenders back is turned
>Play cards with the owner in a back room while we tell each other to kill ourselves
Honestly how do the british even compete?

[Anonymous No.9757017]

>>9756600
>You ask for just a beer at the bar in my hood and you'd get shot.
Lucky for me I don't live in a nigger-infested shithole.

[Anonymous No.9757027]

>>9746285
Asheville?

[Anonymous No.9757078]

>>9746182
Thanks Pennsylvania, Yuengling is top-tier and I'm glad I'm near you guys.

t. New Yorker

[Anonymous No.9757493]

>>9745200
Do you also ask for it neat, with a lemon twist?

[Anonymous No.9757601]

>>9745212

[Anonymous No.9758186]

>Man walks into a bar
>"Gimme a beer"
>"You'll have to be more specific"
>"Gimme somethin' American, preferably craft brewed"
>Bartender takes a long, leisurely piss in a glass

[Anonymous No.9758995]

>>9754374
It probably has 22 dudes in the toilet sucking cock too.

[Anonymous No.9759014]

>>9745200
bullshit, anyplace that has beer on tap has multiple beers on tap

[Anonymous No.9759027]

The reason this happens in movies is because no one wants to pay some beer company to have their beer mentioned in one scene. Even if the beer company pays to have their beer mentioned, it'll still be seen as product placement.

[Anonymous No.9759046]

>>9746650
This. German beer is shit

[Anonymous No.9759049]

>>9759027
True, but autists see that in movies and think they would look cool if they did the same thing.

[Anonymous No.9759203]

>>9746275
this

[Anonymous No.9759209]

>>9759203
nah, if that were the case you wouldn't have to ask for a beer you'd be asked instead, "the regular?"

[Anonymous No.9759221]

>character orders drink/food
>something comes up and they leave without finishing

Every fucking time

[Anonymous No.9759243]

>>9756726
I'd never give free pork scratchings where I work but I do know the locals usual orders.

[Anonymous No.9759257]

>>9759203
Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.9759268]

>>9759221
This came up on Thanksgiving
>me and brother in law flipping through channels (my mom doesn't have cable, just the regular digital antenna box thing)
>stop at The Drew Carey show
>Drew and another character sit down at a table in a bar
>almost instantly get served beers without even ordering anything
>they each take 1 sip then leave to go somewhere else

[Anonymous No.9759338]

>>9746006
millennial here I don't even drink just acid mushrooms and weed for me. alot of my peers have pill problems though.

[Anonymous No.9759399]

>>9759209
true unless you drink liquor sometimes too. then you would say hey can I get a beer.

[Anonymous No.9759414]

>>9759338

[Anonymous No.9759425]

>>9746133
>be German
>get accosted by the local Sharia patrol for consuming haram alcohol

[Anonymous No.9759430]

>>9759414

[Anonymous No.9759447]

>>9759338
You sound like a soyboy.

[Anonymous No.9759553]

>>9759447
>be soyboy
>walk into bar
>"Bartender, if you would be so kind as to mix me a Shirley Temple I'd be ever so appreciative"
>bartender impressed by your sophisticated taste
>local qt's impressed by your impeccable manners
>two qt's immediately start devouring your cock, bartender licks your asshole
>you don't mind because it feels absolutely incredible and you're secure in your masculinity
>alt-right lunkheads furiously masturbate in a corner, whisper "cuck", in a desperate bid to console themselves

[Anonymous No.9759572]

>>9759553
yikes. lot of estrogen in this write up . srry bro but you might wanna cut back

[Anonymous No.9759576]

>>9759553
Are you okay, anon? Who hurt you?

[Anonymous No.9759617]

>>9759553
Let me guess Anon. It was a shirley temple... black

[Anonymous No.9759659]

>>9759576
>OP here. Time to come clean, so to speak.
My father was an abusive motherfucker. His dick was always the "cock of the walk" in our house. My mother would always make us be washed, and naked when he came home from work. He always loved it when our pup would give him a "special cleaning" when he got out of the bath, erect and ready for our daily training. My mother, and the pup would lick him up and down his full length, until he would spend forth on their waiting tongues. Then, he would spank our bottoms until we would faint from the pain. To this day, I can't have an orgasm with my wife unless she sticks a wine bottle up my ass.
>Deep exhalation. Diamonds.

[Anonymous No.9759719]

>>9746481
>go to a bar that i frequent
>sit down and they bring me a shot of fernet without prompting (often for free)
>order my drink

Eh, when you go regularly and make friends with the bartenders it happens

[Anonymous No.9759811]

>>9759719
>Eh
The hallmark of the neckbeard.

[Anonymous No.9759871]

>>9759425
you americans are fucking retarded. all the turks and arabs in nuremburg have no problem eating pork and drinking beer. the sharia boogeyman is made up to ease peoplw into integrating these mongrels

[Anonymous No.9759912]

>>9756166
ireland is 90+% white. and that only comes from Dublin

[Anonymous No.9759924]

''no!''

[Anonymous No.9759936]

>>9756690
>english is the only langauge that matters
no english is the only language you can leran you mong

[Anonymous No.9759950]

>>9759936
yes, because cases and genders are so difficult to learn.

[Anonymous No.9760036]

>>9759950
for americans it seems so

[Anonymous No.9760051]

>>9745196
I do that shit all the time and the barman is more likely to ask what size you want than what brand of beer.

>>9759014
Even when they have several beers on tap they always have a default beer, usually a cheap blonde which is my go to anyway.

[Anonymous No.9760062]

>>9746481
>why would you be okay with getting served their house beer?
Why wouldn't you be? It's fucking beer.

[Anonymous No.9760070]

>>9755659

[Anonymous No.9760133]

>>9759936
Clearly you struggle with "leraning" "langauges", as you would put it.

[Anonymous No.9760289]

>>9760133
>he made a typo

[Anonymous No.9760465]

>>9759027
Why do they have to pay for that, isn't it free advertising?

[Anonymous No.9760468]

>>9759553
I keked

[Anonymous No.9760476]

>>9759871
The Yemeni owned bodegas (convenience stores) here in New York usually don't even sell beer and pork

I know Turks tend to be more secular but most Arabs and Pakistanis in my experience do not drink

[Anonymous No.9760496]

>>9760476
give it a generation or to. in socal they usually lose their culture pretty quickly. maybe in north africa they're not as strict, i know for a fact moraccans are allowed to make and sell it but not drink it

[Anonymous No.9760508]

>>9760496
I think Moroccans are more likely to become secular in the West, I do know a Moroccan guy who drinks

[Anonymous No.9760522]

>>9760508
most of the ""refugees"" here are north african, i think arab spring secularized them the most

[Anonymous No.9760529]

>>9759936
>my language has genders and cases
>THAT MAKES IT IMPORTANT!!!
Are you French? They usually are the most delusional about relevancy.

[Anonymous No.9760539]

>>9760529
importance =/= relevance
how did you even come up with that?

[Anonymous No.9760547]

>>9746992
You are a moron.

Most bars, if not all, have a default beer. This is usually something like bud light. If you ask for a beer, you get the default.

Please actually go to a bar before responding.

[Anonymous No.9760580]

I would need a lot more than one beer to get through one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

[Anonymous No.9760587]

>>9760496
An Egyptian once told me that the Quran says to "not drink a drop of alcohol", so some Egyptians just dip a finger in their beer to take a drop out of the beer and drink the rest.
Maybe he made that up but I think it's funny nonetheless.

[Anonymous No.9760590]

>>9760547
I go to bars all the time and I doubt that's true

Maybe in redneck bars where nobody drinks anything but Bud Light

[Anonymous No.9760596]

>>9760580
This past reads different with rumors of Spielberg being a pedo.

[Anonymous No.9760597]

>visit England
>go to corner pub
>"i'll have a beer"
>guy looks at like No shit, what kind

[Anonymous No.9760619]

where are the mernus at?

[Anonymous No.9760633]

>>9760587
never underestimate mans ability to convince themselves they're in the right

[Anonymous No.9760644]

>>9756495
yes, cletus

[Anonymous No.9760653]

>ITT: Underage faggots

Bartenderfag here, people come in all the time and ask for a beer. Every bar has a standard beer that they serve, even the ones that have 10 beers on tap.

I go into bars and ask for a pint of lager or a Belgian white, even the ones that have a lot on selection, it just means pick any one.

[Anonymous No.9760654]

>>9760653
i donno man
maybe you're just a shitty bartender because generally
>ask for a pint of lager or a Belgian white
>sure we have x, y and z?

[Anonymous No.9760657]

>>9760654
>Being this much of a bitch about alcohol choices

Your kind aren't welcome in bars.

[chop No.9760717]

>>9760587
>trying to hustle God Himself on a technicality.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdbkvJznmwU

[Anonymous No.9760725]

>>9760580
>Ayn Rand
>''''god tier''''

Ironic comparison and obvious pasta aside, anyone who honestly believes this has NO business judging literature, period. Even Harry Potter has more literary substance than that tripe, if only because its characters are plausibly human.

[chop No.9760727]

>>9760725
I'm pretty sure it's a carefully crafted "trolling" image intended for /lit/
Ulysses as mid-tier gives it away. Plus the Bloom pasta.

[Anonymous No.9760732]

>>9760717
I just love shit like this.

[Anonymous No.9761437]

>>9746182
This

[Anonymous No.9761592]

>>9756726
>pork scratchings
I don't bloody well think Sharia allows that!

[Anonymous No.9761721]

>>9748030
>tfw you realize most of the states are generic boxes and trapezoids
>tfw your state has a distinct dick like shape
yet another piece of evidence that FL is the greatest state

[Anonymous No.9761732]

>>9755841
ja/ck/ once again proves to be the DSP of cooking

[Anonymous No.9761751]

>>9760725
its a decent bait image, there are several extremely disagreeable parts of it while appearing to be serious.
>ayn rand god tier
>1984 high tier and BNW low tier
just to name some

[Anonymous No.9761759]

>>9761437
Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.9761777]

>>9746285
>tfw living in Belgium and a basic supermarket has a selection like this

[Anonymous No.9761857]

>>9756089
It's the Budweiser of craft, though, that shit is everywhere

[Anonymous No.9761878]

>>9745247
>2017.9
>still lowering your motor skills and rational thinking by drinking alcohol

[Anonymous No.9762334]

>>9761878
Not an argument.

[Anonymous No.9762374]

>walk into a bar and ask for a lager
>get deported and gassed

[Anonymous No.9762417]

I don't like beer
I prefer c*der
am i doomed

[Anonymous No.9762434]

>>9745247
wine tastes bad though

[Anonymous No.9762442]

>>9762417
same here

the taste is much more preferable

[Anonymous No.9762451]

>>9745200
You have to be 18 to use this site anon.

[Anonymous No.9762460]

>>9762451
not him, but too bad for me then

I must leave at once then since I'm 23?

[Anonymous No.9763258]

>>9745278
pretty much everywhere but the US, you can walk into a bar and ask for "the house beer" and you'll get some lower-mid tier brew that is probably warm.

[Anonymous No.9763309]

>>9762460
You're a retard lmao back 2 r*ddit

[Anonymous No.9763398]

theres places here where you can just ask for a "caña" and they will usually have a standard beer so they wont ask you which kind. I love that

[Anonymous No.9763494]

>>9760289

[Anonymous No.9763512]

>>9746182
You guys giving Indiana your based beer is the best thing that could have happened to me during my undergrad career.

Doing keggers with that shit is based.

[Anonymous No.9763533]

>>9754472
Asian Andy or Ice Poseidon ?

[Anonymous No.9763646]

>>9745196
>beer

[Anonymous No.9763665]

>>9763646
xkcd is the Reddit of webcomics.

[Anonymous No.9763674]

>>9763646

I hope this comic does not represent an actual opinion held by the autist-in-charge

[Anonymous No.9764431]

The absolute state of beer drinkers: the thread

[Anonymous No.9765107]

>>9763665
>>9763674
:^)

[Anonymous No.9765110]

>>9763646
>Where's my sugar water? :((

[Anonymous No.9765126]

>>9745196
Never asked for alcohol in a bar but I don't see the problem
If I was the bartender I'd take it as "give me a beer, doesn't matter if it's the most expensive, the blandest, just a beer"

[Anonymous No.9765143]

>>9746133
But I thought alcohol was Haram?

[Anonymous No.9765174]

>>9765126
Dumbass.

[Anonymous No.9765395]

In Finnish bars, there's three to twenty taps for beer and you totally can just order "a beer please"
Because the bartender is not a retard and if you just ask for a beer, he will give you the choice bulk lager he has on the tap.

[Anonymous No.9765423]

>>9765395
>order beer
>get lager
Mainland Europe was a mistake

[Anonymous No.9766629]

>>9765395
You might actually be retarded.

[Anonymous No.9766885]

>>9746560
>be bartender
>customer says "gimme a beer"
>give him the strongest, fruitiest, hoppiest trappist or saison available
Old men never expect it

[Anonymous No.9766905]

>>9761721
Does florida merchandise its shape and print it all over overpasses? no?

t. Texan

[Anonymous No.9767021]

>>9757493
Was that a fucking great santini reference?

[Anonymous No.9768102]

>>9767021
Pugs are the pathetic Indian beta males of the dog world.

[Anonymous No.9769289]

>>9761857
that doesn't mean it's bad. It's a good beer to get into the craft world. And I've liked craft beer for years, but I still love a Boston Lager when I want something more flavorful than a Budweiser but don't feel like drinking a hop bomb IPA

[Anonymous No.9769313]

>>9746579
>what is Altbier
Mein condolences, Tommy.

[Anonymous No.9770885]

>>9745196
Sorry son, whiskey is all we got.

[Anonymous No.9770896]

...whiskey

[Anonymous No.9771030]

>>9770896

[Anonymous No.9771173]

>>9756354
Yes but to an American being able to order a beer literally anywhere bus and train stations included and receiving an amstel/Stella on tap for 3 euros is nothing short of a miracle

[Anonymous No.9771181]

>me walks into a bar
>"Gimme a lager"
>get served pic related

[Anonymous No.9771310]

>>9771173
>Amstel for $4

Are you a rube?

[Anonymous No.9771393]

>>9770885
>>9771030
Nice.

[Anonymous No.9771401]

>>9771310
In America at a bar it's easily 6

[Anonymous No.9771701]

>>9755784
Yes? You realize theres a ton of vastly different beers with different flavors right? Its literally like going to restaurant and saying "I'll have the food."

[Anonymous No.9771799]

>>9759046
>German beer is shit

t. microbrewery fruit loops "beer" nu-male

[Anonymous No.9771815]

>>9771181
>mfw
though canned Yuengling actually tastes a little better, I wish they'd use brown bottles at least

[Anonymous No.9771865]

>>9746579
>Literally 90% of your beers taste like literal horse piss.
there is nothing wrong with this. nor is there anything wrong with drinking literal horse piss

[Anonymous No.9771873]

>>9760070
this stuff is unironically pretty good, at least when you don't have a batch with dish soap in it.

>>9760587
this is probably a meme (as in literally like it is in the west, a gag shared across a culture) but ive heard of muslims who get around the booze prohibition by just not drinking wine, since many translations specifically say "wine" rather than "alcohol" or "spirits" or w/e

[Anonymous No.9771954]

>>9745212
>>9745196

I'm actually Belgian and every bar has a couple beers on tap. Mostly Maes, crystal-alken, Jupiler, etc. It's common practice to ask for a 'pintje' which is dutch-flemish for "a beer".

it's this way because in Germany and Belgium most local towns used to have a specific beer on tap, and you'd just ask for a beer and see what ya got. It's bound to be a decent pilsner no matter what.

[Anonymous No.9771977]

>>9746133
come at me son.
Our beer culture is miles beyond your foul metallic-tasting blonde shite.

[Anonymous No.9772312]

>>9771977
this belgian transwoman is right