/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9566964]

>only register open is staffed by cute girl
>wheel trolley around and put back drum of ice cream

[Anonymous No.9566973]

When you get older you will stop giving a fuck.

[Anonymous No.9566982]

>>9566964
drive jazzy chair around and put back 5 drums of ice cream*

[Anonymous No.9567010]

>>9566973
u benis no work when old? sad.

[Anonymous No.9567017]

>>9566964
I was paying at the gas station the other day, and ahead of me in line were:
1) Dude asking for a pack of blunts and some extra-large rolling papers
2) Skinny dude who reeked of booze with 3 bottles of MD 20/20
3) Super huge fat fuck with 3 tubs of ice cream and two of those giant microwave burritos

they were all eyeing each other and then realized their respective addictions and had a good laugh

[Anonymous No.9567038]

[Anonymous No.9567053]

I don't know that feel, thank god

[Anonymous No.9567065]

>>9566982
Kek

[Anonymous No.9567067]

>>9567017
They all fell for the addictive Jew

[Anonymous No.9567077]

>>9566973
i can verify this
i used to never get frozen pizza if i knew the checkout person was going to be anything other than a fat old guy
now i don't give a goddamn

[Anonymous No.9567092]

that’s why it’s great being thin and attractive. you can buy whatever the fuck you want and they don’t care.

[Anonymous No.9567109]

>>9566964
>buy condoms
>cute-ish black girl at the register strikes up a conversation

[Anonymous No.9567113]

>>9567017
>reddit spacing
kys

[Anonymous No.9567122]

>>9567113

[Anonymous No.9567158]

Thank Lord for self checkouts.

[Anonymous No.9567167]

>>9567017
>Dude asking for a pack of blunts and some extra-large rolling papers

This happens just about every day at the gas station up the road. Guys walk in reeking of weed and don't give a fuck. This is an illegal state, I don't understand why they risk being smelled by a police officer.

[Anonymous No.9567194]

>>9567109
>cute-ish black girl
i don't understand what this is

[Anonymous No.9567197]

>>9567194
there are about 3 of them

[Anonymous No.9567214]

>>9567167
They are as shocked as anyone else when the cop smells them too.
The cops must have planted that smoldering bunt in their Honda Civic too.

[Anonymous No.9567234]

>>9567167
>I don't understand why they risk being smelled by a police officer.
As someone who has hung out with a lot of stoners and smokers in general:
1) Smokers don't realize they reek of weed or tobacco. And alkies don't realize they reek of booze. It's because they are so used to that smell they don't even pick up on it anymore. (and taking it further, crazy cat ladies don't realize their home smells like piss)
2) As one of them explained to me, it doesn't matter if you smell like weed. That's not a crime. So long as you don't have any weed on you or in your car what are the cops going to do? Even if they search you the'd find nothing. You smelling like weed is not probable cause to follow you home and search your home.

[Anonymous No.9567379]

>>9567158
>scan box of Meal-for-One Garlic Pizza Pockets
>*BEEP BOOP* "PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE"

[Anonymous No.9567405]

>>9566964
>cute girl at checkout
>use self checkout instead
>something fails to scan and calls a supervisor
>supervisor is cute girl too
>leave everything at the register and run away before she can see me and my 8 extra large bags of chips

[Anonymous No.9567451]

>>9567405
>someone tackles you as you're trying to get into your car
>she's also a qt
>"sir, you forgot your groceries"

[Anonymous No.9567459]

>>9567197
You sir, have shit taste.

[Anonymous No.9567497]

>>9567379
lmao this happens to me every time

[Anonymous No.9567514]

You guys don't what true suffering is
>clog toilet with huge shit
>have to buy plunger
>grab first one I see so nobody sees me staring at toilet plungers
>go to self checkout so I don't have to look a cashier in the eyes
>barcode has been ripped off
>have to call for assistance
>cutest hardware store employee I've ever seen walks up
>she has to call for a price check
>everyone staring at me the whole time

[Anonymous No.9567521]

>>9567167
>a pack of blunts
Did he actually say this? Blunts are not a thing you can sell in most states, because a blunt is some weed rolled in tobacco leaves like a cigarillo, a cigarillo being the thing you buy from a gas station to make a blunt from.

[Anonymous No.9567525]

>>9567113

>mad

>at spacing

Poor wittle thing.

[Anonymous No.9567808]

>>9567514
why do all the turbo qts work at hardware stores

[Anonymous No.9567845]

>>9567017
and you the outcast sociopath who contributes fuck all to society and passive aggressively make "observations" judging everyone but yourself, the cuck who is so devoid of character he can't self insert in his own stories about trips to the fucking grocer

[Anonymous No.9567861]

>>9566964
>be me
>shortest line open has average girl working
>go there
>she flirts with me
>leave
>two weeks later
>go back
>see same girls line is shorter
>go to cute girl next to her even tho it's longer
>she flirts with me too

[Anonymous No.9567874]

>>9567521
Philly Blunts or Swisher Sweets are called blunts you goof

[Anonymous No.9567879]

>>9566964
>store doesnt have a self checkout
i would kms

[Anonymous No.9567943]

>>9567861
go for it right on the counter. wild sex ensues. line held up for 15 minutes.

[Anonymous No.9567971]

>>9567861
get their numbers
say "hey im pretty busy this week but if you get a minute you and i should hang out" then hand her your phone to put her # in

[Anonymous No.9567989]

>>9566964
>be me, buying a handle of vodka, a handle of whiskey, and a case of beer, nothing else
>only register open is staffed by an old lady
>she notices what I'm buying
>asks if I'm doing alright
>says she can tell when someone is drinking away their problems since her son is a recovering alcoholic
>even offers to put me in contact with AA
>tell her it's for a party and laugh it off
>it's tuesday afternoon
>she says "oh, ok" in the most unconvincing tone, without making eye contact
>finish the transaction
>it wasn't for a party

[Anonymous No.9568005]

>>9567989
my grocery store people always see me obviously buying dinner for 1 and enough alcohol for like 3 people

[Anonymous No.9568014]

>>9567989
There's nothing worse than some sanctimonious hypocrite manning a cash register on the eve of her cash-in giving advice after coming from a generation that not only screwed those that followed, but members of their own like her. That dried up old wench deserves an award of some sort. Maybe one of the megachurches will gift her a bag of peanuts.

[Anonymous No.9568036]

>>9567989
>be buying or doing anything
>someone asks if you're alright

why do people do this
ive seen some pretty fucked up people but it never occurred to me to go up to them and ask "are you alright"

[Anonymous No.9568041]

>>9567158
>Get super horny one night
>Roommates are all out of town on a ski trip
>Decide I want to fill a bathtub with oatmeal body wash and get slippery
>Go to Walmart at 1 am to buy said oatmeal body wash
>Cruise through self checkout
>Nobodycanjudgemehere.png
>Girl at podium looks at me and glances at the single, unbagged bottle of soap as I walk away
>Thankyouforshoppingatwalmart.wav
>Look her straight in the eye, "have a good night"
>Walk out, go home and get weird
Definitely wouldn't have done it if I had to interact with a cashier while checking out. Self checkouts are nice

[Anonymous No.9568047]

>>9568036
there are good people in this world. don't let your cynicism deprive you of them.

[Anonymous No.9568056]

>>9567234
I'm guy you replied to. I spent a few years stoned 24/7 and was always aware when I smelled like it. I showered twice a day and always wore clean clothes so no one had any idea. Still stank of cigarettes, though.

[Anonymous No.9568064]

I view this as a check on possible bad behavior by me. Going to go eat something unhealthy as fuck? I get nervous the clerk will judge me, even if not a qt girl, so I don't do it

[Anonymous No.9568068]

Fak, should have checked the catalog. May someone help with my singlet thread?

>>9568053

[Anonymous No.9568089]

>>9567167
Why are Americans so paranoid about smoking weed? People smoke in the street and in parks here in the UK. I got caught smoking a joint in the street and was given a warning. If they find weed on you they're likely to take it of you and that's that. I got caught by nightclub security with some joints rolled up, a hipflask of vodka and a couple grams MDMA, they took the MDMA, let me keep the other shit and sent me on my way.

It's just surprising to hear people talk about being paranoid about being discovered to be stoned in public. Who gives a fuck really?

[Anonymous No.9568126]

>>9568056
This. Most stoners are just stupid

[Anonymous No.9568148]

You guys all fat as fuck or something? I never feel bad about buying food at the grocer.
Only time I feel kinda weird is if I'm buying condoms or birth control.
Luckily self checkouts have solved those problems.

[Anonymous No.9568161]

>>9568089
Depends on what part of the US. Some states it's totally legal. Around here it's still illegal but cops don't really give a fuck.
But if you're in some shit part of the country like the deep south you're probably gonna run into some pretty shitty cops that will ruin your day.

[Anonymous No.9568177]

>>9568064
>I get nervous the clerk will judge me
>worrying about a potential opinion a stranger might have
>worrying about things you essentially cant control

[Anonymous No.9568195]

>>9568148
130 lbs
i enjoy buying condoms just to see if it makes the cashier act weird
although the smart way to get condoms is to go to a health clinic and say you're gay and bang African refugees

[Anonymous No.9568199]

>be assigned grocery mule for mother, who has people over every other day
>took to buying myself groceries while I am there
>roll up to the checkout lanes with enough food for a week for four people plus myself
>also have two or three pints of ice cream since mother likes to sample flavours when they come out
>the cashier doesnt even care, nor does the bagger
>ask for my usual tobacco while i am at it
>stop by liquor outlet on the way out
>pick up whiskey, brandy, and rum
>woman at register doesnt care

I do not understand what you autists are so nervous about.

[Anonymous No.9568216]

>hate self checkouts
>approach registers
>clerk and customer having happy banter
>go to self checkout

[Anonymous No.9568220]

I buy my meat from a butcher and get my fruit and vegetables from a fruit and veg shop. When I go to a grocery store I just end up with a trolley full of really shitty looking food. I'm not sure what the people working the checkout think but I don't really give a shit.

[Anonymous No.9568227]

>>9566964
I sometimes buy food for my whole family and give back the extra cutelry and say "I dont nedd these its just for me"
I believe its funny so whatever

[Anonymous No.9568232]

>>9568199
>fell for the tobacco, alcohol, and food Jews
>doesn't also smoke weed
>doesn't eat while drinking, smoking weed and tobacco
>doesn't enjoy being crossed to hell and back
What are you doing with your life Anon?

[Anonymous No.9568261]

>>9568220
>a fruit and veg shop
Hipster piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.9568273]

>>9567845
Where in his post did he mention judging them? Calm your autism anon, being mad about things you made up isn't healthy

[Anonymous No.9568280]

>>9567017

Guy ahead of me in grocery line was practically as fat as he was tall and had candy bars and microwave dinners. I judged him hard, but when his one candy bar get stuck on the conveyor belt i unstuck it for him and he
>thank you kind sir
And when i asked to get passed him to ger to my groceries he said
>of course
He was so friendly i felt so bad.

[Anonymous No.9568302]

>>9568280
Yeah, I've had similar experiences. It's hard not to judge people sometimes, we all do it, and those little moments like that serve as lessons to make us better people.

I used to be fat so I'm extra hard on overweight people. I would have thought it would have been the opposite.

That said when I see one exercising I'm so proud, so it goes both ways.

[Anonymous No.9568306]

>>9568261
Grocery store fruit and veggies are garbage.

Much fresher from my local farmers market.

https://youtu.be/fwigH6QPQv0

[Anonymous No.9568341]

>>9568306
I guess if you live in a shit tier locarion, but my local chain gets everything fresh from local farmers. Symbiotic relationship.

[Anonymous No.9568563]

>>9568089
We had this thing called "the War on Drugs". People go to jail for years for getting caught like you described.

[Anonymous No.9568570]

>>9567874
Must be a regional thing, I've only ever heard blunts used to describe things with weed in them. Schwisher Sweets and the like being called cigarillos.

[Anonymous No.9568585]

>>9567197
If you think that's cute you need to get your eyes checked.

[Anonymous No.9568913]

>>9568570
The name blunt comes from the tobacco product Phillies Blunts. People bought Phillies Blunts for the wrappers and rolled weed into them; the name "blunt" stuck.

[Anonymous No.9568932]

>>9567989
In my state you'd have to buy that from a package store (no hard liquor sold from anywhere but a package store), which makes it extra cunty of a story in my mind. "Bitch you work in a liquor store shut the fuck up you see it all the time".

I'm guessing you live in a state like Kentucky where liquor is common stock everywhere. Extra nice is that all the places selling liquor have to have a big old liquor permit number on the front saying like "come here there's good shit!!!"

[Anonymous No.9568943]

>>9568089
Because in America they can arrest you for a G. It's still federally illegal. If you have that drug charge or even an arrest, kiss your chances of gainful employment goodbye.

[Anonymous No.9568949]

>>9567197
I don’t understand how that’s cute-ish

That’s just straight cute, fuck the /pol/ocks shes hot.

[Anonymous No.9568959]

>>9567234
>you smelling like weed is not probable cause
Yes it is. They can tail you, tell you they smell weed in your apartment, and get a search warrant within an hour.

[Anonymous No.9568971]

>>9568089
The police get paid for drug busts so they like to charge you $250 for having a gram of weed and put you in jail for a month for 1 adderall

[Anonymous No.9568973]

>>9568195
Or just say "i need condoms" and get the condoms and leave without being such a fucking weirdo

[Anonymous No.9569027]

>>9568570
We call em blunt wrappers so then it devolved to just 'blunts'

t. flyover

[Anonymous No.9569083]

>>9567514
You don't need a plunger, you can use your hand. You just need to make a decent seal and wiggle your hand back and forth. Actually, the seal doesn't even need to be that good. Some toilets make it really easy because there's that little narrow bit at the drain that your hand fits perfectly into, otherwise it's a little harder but it should still be doable without a plunger. If you want to keep your hand clean you can cover it with a bag or use a glove. I normally don't bother, washing is good enough and i wash after i shit anyways.

[Anonymous No.9569175]

>>9568036
some people genuinely want to help you if they think they can, even if they really can't. Does that make sense?

[Anonymous No.9569211]

>it's a check-out girl flirts with you episode

God, I'm tired and just want to go home, not have idle chitchat that'll lead nowhere. Honestly, sometimes I think a lot of women think men are horny all the time.

Just speaking for myself, but when I go to a shop to purchase something I am 100% not looking to flirt with anyone, ever. I just want to do my business and leave.

[Anonymous No.9569952]

>>9569211
>idle chitchat that’ll lead nowhere

It doesn’t have to be this way anon. Take it somewhere.

[Anonymous No.9569986]

>>9568959

>land of the free

[Anonymous No.9569990]

>>9569211
Could you feel any more sorry for yourself? Fucking fag.

[Anonymous No.9569991]

>>9567197
my white dick needs some caramel on it now.

[Anonymous No.9569994]

>>9567514
you could've just bought some acid

[Anonymous No.9570002]

>>9568959
>tell you they smell weed in your apartment,

How can they do that? You simply don't answer the door.

[Anonymous No.9570004]

>>9568959
>it's good to be white
kek. never heard of this paranoid fantasy. i've been smelling like weed since early 2000's. never had any problems with the police.

[Anonymous No.9570022]

>>9568959
That's so much fucking work for such a small bust.

[Anonymous No.9570028]

>>9566973
True. I'm already shopping in unwashed sweatpants and flip flops. Far past giving a fuck what the cashier thinks about my purchases.

[Anonymous No.9570049]

>>9568195
I always used to buy condoms at porn stores, I was the most normal person there. This is a pro tip boys.

[Anonymous No.9570061]

>>9567808
if men are going to the hardware store they’re usually upper middle class and easy to marry

[Anonymous No.9570064]

>>9569083
The toilet brush works well too, stick it in the hole and pull it in and out like a plunger.

[Anonymous No.9570076]

>>9567194
Shw's half white.

[Anonymous No.9570084]

>>9567845
If you were projecting any harder that shit would be blinding.

[Anonymous No.9570100]

>>9567861
I'm totally oblivious tp flirting.
>girl from school group texts me randomly Friday night
>says her friend really wants to party and asks if there are any parties around
>say no but she should check out the local bar strip Halloween weekend
>only just realized that maybe she wanted to get together
Fuck.

[Anonymous No.9570267]

>local supermarket
>extremely nice and chatty dude behind the counter
>he literally high fives and shake hands with every single customer while joking around
>my turn
>miss his hand while trying to high five
>he laughs it off
>no problem
>all I have bought is candy, nachos and cheese
>he says "looks like you're up for a wild evening" and laughs
>"y-yeah, totally"
>practically run out of the store
>person yells at me that I forgot my cheese
>keep on running

[Anonymous No.9570342]

>>9570267
had a good laff with your greentext nice/10

[Anonymous No.9570397]

>>9570002
weed is so fucking strong dude you can smell it from half a mile away in a lock&lock container in a freezer

[Anonymous No.9570418]

>>9566964
bruh chicks love ice cream what's the problem?

[Anonymous No.9570441]

>>9570397
First off, no it's not that strong. I have lived with stoners when I was in college.

Second, if you're concerned about the smell you're fucking idiot to store it in a plastic container. Glass or metal. A mason jar works perfectly and they are dirt cheap. Or re-use a glass jar with a metal lid from jam or something.

Third, smelling something "through a closed door" is not probable cause under the law.

And fourth, if it was any half-decent lawyer would decimate the cops at trial by asking how they knew the location of a smell outdoors, from behind a closed door. That smell could have come from anywhere, rendering it an illegal search.

But this is all just silly banter anyway. No cop is going to follow home a suspected stoner and go through all that effort for such a minor offense. Unless the cops have reason to suspect that person is some kind of major grower or high level dealer nobody is going to bother.

[Anonymous No.9570767]

>>9567017
They sell blunt in gas stations now?

[Anonymous No.9571020]

>>9568959
>minority problems

[Anonymous No.9571030]

>>9570767
They have for decades. "Blunts" are small cigars. It is very common for people to slice them open, dump out the tobacco and replace it with weed. In fact, I'm pretty sure that that is the only thing they get used for these days. If you see someone walk into a gas station and buy them you can be certain that person is going to refill them with weed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blunt_(cigar)

[Anonymous No.9571287]

>>9567017
>the whole population of /ck/ defined in a single post
this includes (You) as the bittter autist btw

[Anonymous No.9571301]

>>9568056
>tfw smoking a quick one before heading out barechested so your clothes don't reek out when you're on the streets
I felt like James Bond whopping your sister

[Anonymous No.9571308]

>>9567158
>go to self checkout to avoid cashiers
>unexpected item in bagging area
>please wait for attendant
>self checkout attendant is qtp2t
>she has to manually scan my family size box of taquitos
Fuck

[Anonymous No.9572270]

>>9568005
this

[Anonymous No.9572306]

>>9570267
chuckled

[Anonymous No.9572311]

>>9566982
>this is an americans childs cart

[Anonymous No.9572325]

>>9571308
Well shit, now I'm afraid to use the self checkout.

[Anonymous No.9572839]

>>9568959
>get a search warrant within an hour.
Haha no son, getting a warrant is not that easy.

[Anonymous No.9572907]

>>9567989
Are you alright?

[Anonymous No.9572930]

>>9570022
If they need money,they'll do it.

[Anonymous No.9572990]

>>9568959
>be me
>driving home after work
>see car full of giggling stoners in front of me
>they're passing around a pipe
>whoops my foot slipped off the brake
>tap their bumper
>they start hooting, signal that I'm pulling over
>apologize profusely, it's been a long day ya know :^)
>oh btw this is my work truck
>better call my boss
>"boss" tells me to call the police because it's city policy for every accident that the police record it
>stoners visibly sweating
>take a picture of their license plate while the police are coming
>cop shows up, instantly smells the weed they were smoking
>looks in car through window
>pipe just sitting the fuck there on the seat
>girl stoner visibly crying
>he sees my work truck and shirt, tells me to go on my way, he's got bigger fish to fry etc.
>as I drive away see him pulling a big bag full of smaller bags from under the dashboard
>get home, sit down in chair and roll a fat 6-paper blunt
>life is good

[Acbn !7CUUUUUUUU No.9573009]

>>9572990

Good deed

Driving high is as dangerous as driving drunk

[Anonymous No.9573064]

>>9567989
fuck

[Anonymous No.9573069]

>>9569211
I feel this. Beats being ugly I guess.

[Anonymous No.9573075]

>>9572990
You are doing God's work. Fuck stoners.

[Anonymous No.9573138]

>>9572990

[Anonymous No.9573180]

>>9569211
they're not hitting on you they're being nice

[Anonymous No.9573184]

>>9568014
You sound incredibly sore about someone trying to help a potential alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.9573212]

I think I've spent more money on soda and 'energy drinks' than I have on any other single type of food.
Then again, when I do booze up, I drink like a fish.

[Anonymous No.9573264]

>>9572990
I hope your work truck was okay.

[Anonymous No.9573269]

>Go to cashier with box of wine.
>"You must party a lot, you come in like twice a week!"
>'Y-you too.'

[Anonymous No.9573332]

>>9566964
If she's that cute and you're that fat, you'd never be compatible; so for all you care, she might as well be a dude. Get what you want since you'll never be together.

[Anonymous No.9573462]

>>9572990
Wew, teach some kiddies to keep it off the road. I hate it when my roommate smokes inside.

[Anonymous No.9573612]

>>9573462
get a new roommate or stop being poor
i’ll smoke inside if I want

[Anonymous No.9573667]

>>9573075

[Anonymous No.9573801]

>>9569952
I don't want to, that's why it'll lead nowhere. I don't go shopping to find dates with employees of stores.

[Anonymous No.9573867]

>>9573612
Definitely a fair opinion to have, as long as you live there.
But you should also be respectful of others.

[Anonymous No.9573874]

>at Walmart
>buying a ton of frozen pizzas
>like $50 of frozen pizza
>"oh hey are these on sale?"
>Nope I'm just fat and love them.
>"o-oh."
I feel bad for people having to deal with my social retardation but it's fun to look back on.

[Anonymous No.9573875]

>>9567197
horseface/10

[Anonymous No.9573878]

>>9573612
Well, I had stoner roommates and I reported them to the administration and got them banned from the premises.

[Anonymous No.9573917]

>>9569211
>checkout girl is giving me suble bedroom eyes and trying to make small talk
>she seems pretty trashy; I have no idea why girls like that like me but I can't stand it
>can't really do anything anyway because I'm autistic as fuck

[Anonymous No.9573926]

>>9570028
>go to the shops to get stuff you forgot to get yesterday
>realise you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday
>realise you're wearing socks but no shoes

oh well

[Anonymous No.9573947]

>work at a dollar store
>see fat fucks and regular fucks like the fags in this thread buying weird shit and lots of junk food all the time
>that one lady that bought 15 ponchos
>that mom that bought dutches with a 12 year old girl that was wearing a skin tight singlet that was hugging her ass and crotch

ill tell ya

[Anonymous No.9573965]

>Lidl (my favourite junk food supermarket) STILL doesn't have self-service check-outs and probably never will

[Anonymous No.9573966]

>>9573947
dutches?

[Anonymous No.9574023]

>>9573947
rather buy ponchos for $1 at the dollar store than be at some event that rains out and scrabble to get them for $5

[Anonymous No.9574028]

>finish checkout, old woman cashier
>"Do you have a number?"
>huh what
>"Do you have a phone number for your savings card?"
>uh, I don't know, maybe, I think it's
>"You have to go online and log in and enter a number to register it with the system. Do you remember doing that?"
>uh no but I think, if you wanna try, my number is
>"Fine, I'll just use mine, is that okay?"
>sure th-thanks
>"Just saved you 2.62, pal."
>thanks
>"Are you playing monopoly?"
>uh no thanks
>"Okay, you have a good day."
>thanks
>hit her hand and drop the reciept
>qt bagger is staring at me
>entire line is staring at me
>one of my eggs is cracked

fuck safeway

[Anonymous No.9574032]

>work at a grocery store bagger clerk
>be cashier when there's too much customers and too few cashiers
>don't give a damn what people buy
>forget what I just rang up the second the customer leaves

You people are paranoid. Also, read the price tags carefully you goddamn morons, and use common sense like of course a gallon of pistachio ice cream won't be 3 bucks ya fucking doofus it's the chocolate syrup just over the tag

[Anonymous No.9574039]

>>9574028
Jewel fag?

[Anonymous No.9574106]

>>9573966
blunts, cigarollos, cigars. we call them dutches too in my state.

[Anonymous No.9574116]

>>9567989
next time tell her you're mourning the patron saint of the liquor.

[Anonymous No.9574458]

>buy XXXL condoms
>go to self checkout because I dont want people seeing me buy condoms
>unexpected item in bagging area
>the most cute fun sized girl comes over
>has to manuall scan it and put in the number
>she reads the box and giggles
>go on my way to the exit
>cutie is talking to greeter friend
>hear her say “the hung guy”
>tfw I like to use them for fun and experimenting

[Anonymous No.9574705]

>>9573947
Funny how you call other people weird yet brag about being a pedophile. Good stuff.

[Anonymous No.9574728]

>>9574458
Did you pull out a wad of hundreds when you paid?

[Anonymous No.9574732]

>>9566964
They work cash for a living. Their standards can't be that high...

[Anonymous No.9574756]

>>9574116
;_;7

[Anonymous No.9574789]

>>9567167
Guess what. In America, regardless of the state. it is not illegal to be "high"

Say a cop was coming, you snorted the last of your cocaine, they 100% knew you were high but didnt see the cocaine, you dont in trouble for the cocaine. Same with weed.

They can search you, but if you have none on you, you can smell like as much weed as you want and not get in trouble. They CAN get you with public intoxication though, which is usually a misdemeanor.

This is why retarded criminals try and swallow the drugs as they are getting chased or arrested, since if the drugs havent been seen yet, they cannot get charged for possession since the cops cannot prove they have them.

[Anonymous No.9574795]

>see cashier is cute grill
>no self checkout in sight
>go put back bottle of unscented hand lotion
>buy jug of corn oil instead

[Anonymous No.9574807]

>>9568959
>absolute retard saying things that are wrong

You have to be sheltered, retarded, or underage to think anything like that.

>get a search warrant because you smelt some weed at a random apartment.
>in 1 hour

You are so fucking stupid.

[Anonymous No.9574828]

>collect transformers
>buying groceries
>see transformer Ive been looking for
>grab it
>no self checkout
>at cashier
>shes cute
>scans all the food
>gets to transformer
>grill rolls her eyes
>asks "Sir would you like to get a gift receipt for this item?"
>n-n-no.........
>looks at me weird and scans rest of food

[Anonymous No.9574848]

>scanning shit at self checkout
>scan bottle of hand lotion
>BEEP BOOP WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE
>shit shit no no no
>older lady comes over
>"Whats the problem?"
>she sticks her employee card into the machine and hits a few buttons
>grabs my bottle of lotion
>looks at the label
>looks at me
>scans it through and says "It should be fine now"
>see her talking with other female employee

[Anonymous No.9574860]

>>9573612
It isn't so bad if you keep it to your fucking room instead of letting it waft all the way around. At least he has the common decency to clear out the air afterwards.
I only get mad because when he smokes I'm trying to do work on something and secondhand tastes like shit.

[Anonymous No.9574924]

>>9572990
/devilish/

[Anonymous No.9574948]

>>9574828
Should've said yes

[Anonymous No.9574954]

>>9574848
>>9574795
>tfw I use hand lotion because I have dry hands
I never understood using hand lotion for masturbation. I have never heard about anybody actually doing this. Thought it was a movie meme.

[Anonymous No.9574955]

>be texasfag
>live next to Fiesta
>the only white guy that does my shopping here
>all the cashiers are 8/10 18 yo Mexican girls
>they are friendly as fuck
>buy 2 cases of beer and chips
>hey, youre having a party? :^)
>y-yeah

how does Kroger even compete?

[Anonymous No.9574963]

>>9566964
Nobody gives a shit and the people who do aren't the kinds of people you should give two fucks about. At least if you had just bought the ice cream and owned it you would have one redeemable quality, but you beta'd out like a bitch.

[Anonymous No.9574974]

>>9567017
and then they all high fived you and someone handed each of them $100 right?

[Anonymous No.9575034]

>>9572990
ive actually been tempted to do with with cute girls I see driving around.
>woops I hit your bumper, better trade info

I still remember in highschool I wrecked a girls bumper and went over to her house to pay for the damage so theres no insurance claim. she was flirting with me the entire time and I was too embarresed and autistic to act right.

[Anonymous No.9575043]

>>9574954
Don't death grip the dick dude

[Anonymous No.9575732]

>>9574954
It's because cutfags need to lubricate it with lotion or it gets scabbed and chafed

[Anonymous No.9575795]

>>9574795
Why not facial moisturizer?

[Anonymous No.9575799]

>oh no, i forgot the eggs, brb

[Anonymous No.9575800]

>>9566964
grow a pair

[Anonymous No.9575811]

>>9571287
This is so true.

>potheads
>alcoholics
>gluttonous neckbeards

[Anonymous No.9576038]

>>9575732
except I'm a cutfag with huge mitts that oversize my tiny dick, and I've never had to use lotion other than that one time I put it in a ziplock, shoved that between my mattress and box spring, and fucked away

[Anonymous No.9576138]

>>9566964
>quickly bagging groceries
>accidentaly touch hand of qt cashier

[Anonymous No.9577386]

>>9569994
>add acid to water
ah yes

[Anonymous No.9577407]

>>9574955
>how does Kroger even compete?
We don't.

[Anonymous No.9578599]

>Be poor college student
>No self checkout lane in store
>Always buy the most expensive branded items because picking the cheaper knock-off products would make me look poor

[Anonymous No.9578602]

>>9576038
>be me
>5'11 almost 6'0
>6" average dick
>big frame
>not a bad looking dude
>still awkward as fuck
>had 1gf who fucked me over now i cant bring myself to do a relationship again

>have chad best mate
>6'1
>XBOX HUEG ex lifter
>proclaims he has a 2" cock whenever he has the chance
hands twice the size of mine
>womanizer
>women swoon over him because of his size despite the fact that he talks about his tiny dick all the time

It somehow makes me feel worse about how inept I am at getting women in bed.

[Anonymous No.9578698]

>>9567514
I've never heard about anyone clogging a toilet ever IRL. Why does this happen to americans so often? You have another construction when it comes to toilets? Do you all take massive shits?

[Anonymous No.9578713]

>>9568148
>>9568195
>Only time I feel kinda weird is if I'm buying condoms
>the cashier finds out you have sex, most likely with another person

the horror

[Anonymous No.9578742]

>>9569211
Ok, Chad.

[Anonymous No.9578784]

>>9578698
I mean they built there houses out of sticks do you really believe there plumbing is any better?

[Anonymous No.9578797]

>>9578784
Why build a house out of more expensive concrete if a tornado is still gonna rip right through it regardless of construction materials?

[Anonymous No.9578805]

>>9578698
I think our toilets are normal, but I have occasionally stopped up my toilet with a huge log. I only shit once/day so that may have something to do with it, idk.

[Anonymous No.9578835]

>>9578805
Apparently toilets in the US use a siphoning system where you need a smaller piping in the toilet compared to australian/european/asian toilets, who use the force of the flushing water to "push down" the toilet water, and they're much easier to clog.
You might need to use a toilet brush more often in a non-US toilet though, for reasons.

[Anonymous No.9578841]

>>9578835
I can attest to this, but any respectable plumbing company would gladly fix it if you have that kind of setup. Force flush best flush.

[Anonymous No.9578857]

>>9567808
Being a manager for a major hardware retailer I can tell you I’d hire an ok attractive female cashier over and ok male.

They sell those warranties and get those credit cards.

[Anonymous No.9579015]

>>9578805
One time i shit a shit so large i had to break it in half with a bar of soap to get it to flush. The issue is that it was like a foot long, so it just stood up out of the water like an obelisk.

[Anonymous No.9579128]

>>9579015
Although they occasionally stop up the toilet, they are still the most exquisite shit one can have.