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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9193334 No.9193334 [Reply] [Original]

>reddit can't coo-

Oh...

>> No.9193339
File: 86 KB, 320x304, 1500504171617.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193339

>>9193334
Did you seriously try to get quads with your shitpost too?

Have you no shame?

>> No.9193340

>>9193334
can't cool? I dont get it.

>> No.9193344

>>9193334
This isn't good bait at all you low IQ ape.

>> No.9193352

>>9193334
I know this is bait, but it looks good. It's not cooking, as everything, even the bread, is obviously store bought, but if I went to a party with this I'd be more than okay with it.

>> No.9193359

>>9193334
arrange flowers? sure

cook? mm try again

>> No.9193365

>>9193334

But anon nothing here is cooked, unless they baked the bread. It seems like this proves that reddit can't cook.

I can spread fruit, crackers and cheese on a cloth too, believe it or not

>> No.9193382
File: 1.10 MB, 759x857, tfyr67.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193382

how can we even compete?

>> No.9193391

>>9193382
What the fuck
he could have dispersed them throughout the can't but no he just dumped them all in a fucking pocket in the center

>> No.9193398

if you want to talk actual cooking etc reddit is superior.

if you want to shitpost and have a laff /ck/ is better

>> No.9193410

If they cured their own meats and sausages and made their own bread like I do, then I'd say they did good. But they didn't. They bought a bunch of factory shit and some prissy numale or neofem wench arranged it. Woopty fucking do!

>> No.9193435
File: 100 KB, 1000x563, 1494458895786.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193435

>>9193365
Plebbit on suicide watch.

>> No.9193448

You can't expect me to ignore the dozens of flies that are flying around that.

>> No.9193455

>>9193334
>putting crackers on a table
>cooking
Why are redditors so stupid? They really think that's "cooking".

>> No.9193459
File: 175 KB, 1024x768, tXZD-Z9yK_jQPwOOkn8jiMmRBoLsTCRjVNy4luHfxvc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193459

>reddit can't coo-

Oh...

>> No.9193479

>>9193352
>but it looks good.

Not even. A bunch of generic and basic food items layed out with with obvious pretentious thought to assume the effect of a 'feast'. If it was a genuine attempt to look impressive than it is a failure.

It looks quite drab and could be easily replicated by buying cheap store brand products and no-one looking could tell the difference.

>> No.9193493

>>9193459
obviously the product of hours of slaving over the hot shelves of kroger

>> No.9193514
File: 127 KB, 571x618, eb121.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193514

>Some pretentious art student spends $400 of his student loan money on this, lays it out like a faggot on the table and pretends it makes him a chef.
Reddit was a mistake.

>> No.9193517
File: 200 KB, 1024x768, nwV1OX3BDw3-huZs7uaVp97PvS1NvlUSFSTXczVigiI.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193517

Does /ck/ ever get tired of being BTFO'd?

>> No.9193536

>>9193517
It's exhausting. Sometimes I just want to kms myself after Reddit reks me with their master cheffery

>> No.9193544

>>9193365
how did i not notice this...

>> No.9193553

>>9193479
How do people get this bad, /ck/? Like how disillusioned and bitter can one person actually get before reaching suicide?

>> No.9193558
File: 139 KB, 396x413, 02458-HamChed-012414.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193558

>Reddit can't coo-

Oh...

>> No.9193561

I don't get the charcuterie circlejerk

>> No.9193563

The reddit cooking board fucking sucks. The good fake shit gets upvoted up and whenever there is fake ugly shit the post gets upvoted up then LOCKED afterwards to prevent people from shitting on the food.

I prefer /ck/ where everyone shits on food, good and bad.

>> No.9193569
File: 23 KB, 862x101, Screenshot 2017-07-20 at 12.14.46 PM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193569

He's got a point, you know...

>> No.9193575

>>9193569
really makes me think

>> No.9193584

>>9193391
The main difference between plebbits cooking sections and /ck/ is that plebbitors are retarded enough to actually do that kind of shit, post it, and expect praise.
/ck/ might do it for a laugh, but nobody outside of the hyper-autist would make something like that seriously.

>>9193398
>actual cooking etc reddit is superior
See above.
Now go back from whence you came.

>> No.9193586

>>9193569
I never realized that suburban backyards had such plentiful farm land to raise all that meat and vegetables

>> No.9193591

>>9193569
>Hey Bill, what're you bringing to the company potluck?
>My famous home-made french onion dip!
>Sounds great, can't wait to try it!

>Bill why are there 30 empty containers of generic-brand french onion dip in the break room?
>JUST CAUSE I DIDNT MAKE IT FROM SCRATCH DOESNT MEAN ITS NOT HOME MADE!!!!!

>> No.9193618

>>9193334
a half-ass charcuterie and uncurated cheese board

wow what a fucking spread

>> No.9193623

>>9193334
That's not cooking, that's food arrangement.
Also, while that display is photogenic, it's impractical, since people would be constantly reaching across the table to get bits. It would be better set up on a sideboard.

>> No.9193632

>>9193334
>All premade
Nice bait

>> No.9193636
File: 6 KB, 301x167, download (3).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193636

>>9193569

>> No.9193639

>>9193553
We've already gone passed suicide.
/ck/ is populated by ghouls.

>> No.9193691

>>9193334
feast for flies

>> No.9193737

>>9193514
if this all cost more than $80 i would be surprised

>> No.9193880

>>9193569
yOu tELLLLLLLLLLLL them!

>> No.9193888

>>9193334
They can't. That's all store bought.

>> No.9193898

>>9193334
The ligthning is bad, looks pretty good though.

>> No.9193899
File: 210 KB, 900x692, 1418773548777.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193899

None of you newfag cunts can cook either

>> No.9193905

>>9193334
This is the most reddit tryhard spread I've ever seen. Lacks substance, too. How many different cheeses are there? The meats look low-grade. And how many crackers do you really need? Jesus

>> No.9193912
File: 30 KB, 499x280, Politique4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193912

>>9193334
>dude i got an idea
>just throw everything on the table

>> No.9193944
File: 119 KB, 1080x675, Shooting-self-1080x675.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193944

Is that fucking microwave popcorn?

>> No.9193947
File: 72 KB, 573x960, 1498569362028-pol.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9193947

>>9193569
>just because you didn't make it doesn't mean you didn't make it! Duuuhhhh.

>> No.9193948

>>9193334

DESU I think this is a nice spread, I'd fill the fuck up on meats and cheeses. But if anyone claimed that this spread "made them a great chef" I wouldn't be able to hold in my laughter.

>> No.9193974

>>9193334
my ancestors :-)

>> No.9194001

>>9193334
>-k

>> No.9194041

This is disgusting, at least separate bread from the cold cuts, and cold cuts from the cheese.

>> No.9194061

>>9193334
>meat and cheese platter
>cooking

>> No.9194167

>>9193334
>>9193459
>>9193517
Not cooking.

>>9193382
Bad cooking.

>>9193899
Prove it. You're making a claim; the burden of proof is on you. Prove that no-one on /ck/ can cook.

>> No.9194206

>>9193479
>obvious pretentious thought to assume the effect of a 'feast'.

The random olive branches really gave it away

>> No.9194230

>if you can't make a proper wine reduction. You can't cook.

Prove me wrong

>> No.9194239

>>9193553
He is completely right

>> No.9194250

>>9194239
Wrong.

>> No.9194254

>>9193334

>nothing but a bunch of sticks and leaves

Kek

>> No.9194259

>>9193569

I fucking hate Reddit


Jesus Christ

>> No.9194262

>>9193333

>> No.9194271

>>9194250
You are retarded.

>> No.9194282

>>9193334
is that pic related? cause i can't really find anything that's cooked

>> No.9194291

>>9193632
>obvious joke thread
>hurr dude nice bait!

>> No.9194508

>>9193382
huh, they are right those things really DON'T melt

>> No.9194562

>>9193558
kek

>> No.9194566

>>9193334
>Cold plate
>Cooking

Dude. Please. It looks good but nothing there wasn't bought from the store. They just put it together to look pretty.

>> No.9194572

>>9193569
I get that it's not reasonable to make most things absolutely from scratch. And if you get really anal, there's no such thing as anything "from scratch" at all.

But when you say you cooked something, the expectation is that you did more than cut it into pieces / arrange it with other food.

>> No.9194656

>>9193517
I can literally buy all of this from the Safeway Deli.

>> No.9194661

>>9193334
There was no cooking involved in your pic OP.

So i guess reddit still can't cook..

>> No.9194666

>>9193334
who are you quoting

>> No.9194695

>>9194666
>UUUHHM excuse me.... can you CITE that?

holy smokes, it looks like we got another faggot here, boys

>> No.9194700

>>9194695
who are you quoting

>> No.9194711

>>9193382
What the fuck kind of countertop is that?

>> No.9194716

>>9193459
>>9193517
>>9193334
Laying out a spread is not "cooking".

>> No.9194736

>>9193334
>throw grapes, 10 boxes of crackers and FUCKING LEAVES on a table
wow

>> No.9194752

>>9194716
>putting meat and cheese on some bread is not cooking guys, trust me you are just displaying food in the form of a sandwich

Do you realize how stupid you sound to everyone hear?

>> No.9194770
File: 33 KB, 720x668, IMG_3558.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9194770

what about the stuff right in the middle? won't it be awkward reaching that far?

>> No.9194800

>>9194752
Diferent anon.

1) That food is not assembled into sandwiches.

2) Even if it was, a cold sandwich is not cooking. At most, it's assembling. If you made the bread or cooked the meat yourself, I could call it cooking, but most of what's in those pics is store-bought shit that's just been unpacked.

You calling this cooking is like you calling calling a fapping session the great romance of your life. Being the closest you'll ever get doesn't make it so.

>> No.9194812

>>9194800
>hey nice salad, who made it?
>oh some mexican did, I just assembled it for you :)

>> No.9194826
File: 102 KB, 916x690, 1470072457882.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9194826

>>9194812
Unironically yes. Sorry to burst your bubble over your amazing "cooking" skills, champ.

>> No.9194841
File: 35 KB, 552x624, 1432565327427.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9194841

>>9194812

..yeah? did you think it was somehow NOT what you said? I'm certainly not going to take credit for something as having "cooked" it unless I either a) spent like over an hour on it if it's a raw dish, or b) actually applied heat with some degree of finesse to the dish.

Everything else is just 'arranged' or 'put together' in my book; I certainly wouldn't describe fucking charcuterie as """"""""""cooking"""""""""".

>> No.9194844

>>9194826
>>9194841
that's nice that you 'mos feel that way, but it is not the definition of cooking. So, you're unironically incorrect and just trying to elevate your hobby into something that it is not

>> No.9194845

>>9194844
>semantics
Go shitpost more "Do Americans really do X" threads on /pol/, you faggot.

>> No.9194856

>>9194845
If you want to discuss something it first has to be defined. For you to redefine cooking just so you can get some snowflake points does not make you a smart or capable person. If you're a girl I'd understand, but let's be honest, you're a nu-male try hard who needs something to crow about.

>> No.9194858

>>9194844
>just trying to elevate your hobby into something that it is not

???????????????????????

lmfao dude im literally doing the EXACT OPPOSITE

YOU are the one saying that fucking laying meats and cheeses on a piece of wood is "something that it's not"; namely, cooking.

how the fuck are people as retarded as you allowed to even use the internet

>> No.9194860

>>9194752
Lmfao

>> No.9194878

>>9193334
heyy u went sum grapes to go wit ur crakers??

>> No.9194886
File: 1.60 MB, 320x180, Biff.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9194886

>>9194856
>cook·ing
>noun
>the practice or skill of preparing food by combining, mixing, and heating ingredients.

AND.
Combining, mixing, AND heating.

Putting out cold cuts and store-bought cheese and crackers? Not cooking.
Cold sandwiches? Not cooking.
Cold salads? Not cooking.

>> No.9194902

>>9194167
>LOGICAL FALLACY THE BURDEN OF THE PROOF IS ON YOU

take this shitty thread less seriously

>> No.9194909

>>9194841
>wouldn't describe fucking charcuterie as """"""""""cooking"""""""""".

Curing sausages and meats isn't cooking? Give it up. You're a fool, faggot.

>> No.9194912

>>9194886
>AND.
I read OR when I googled it.

>> No.9194921

>>9194886
so grilling a steak is not cooking because you do not mix ingredients?

>> No.9194928

>>9193334
looks bretty good desu

but still... that doesn't take talent!

>> No.9194930

>>9194921
salt and pepper, cooked
plain, then it has only been heated up

>> No.9194938
File: 35 KB, 850x491, Cooking.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9194938

>>9194912
Pic related.

>>9194902
>OH FUCK HE'S BLOWING ME THE FUCK OUT
>BETTER CALL HIM A TRYHARD
Nice damage control, fag. I'm off to watch Soviet cartoons with a friend. Try not to be too huge a cunt, eh?

>>9194909
That anon's wrong; charcuterie is cooking. But you can't seriously think most of those meats came from somewhere other than a supermarket.

>>9194921
See >>9194930

>> No.9194956

>>9194938
well to be fair your body temperature will be warmer than anything you're using, so you are heating everything you touch so it is still cooking, logically speaking.

>> No.9194965

>>9194886
>>9194938
>>9194930

1. COMBINE and MIX the meat and cheese on the table, by arranging the meat next to the cheese
2. allow the meat and cheese to HEAT up to closer to room temperature before eating it, because you don't generally eat it at the temp it comes out of the fridge
3. enjoy some nice home COOKED meal

>> No.9194970

>>9194909

I'm talkiung about the act of making a charcuterie plate like the ones that have been posted; you can't fucking look me in the eye (metaphorically) and tell me with a straight face that every single one of them was made with meats that the person cured and smoked themselves.

if they (or I) did, then yeah, you bet your sweet ass that's cooking. but taking storebought sausages and salamis and wheels of cheese, then arranging them on a platter or wood block, is ABSOLUTELY NOT cooking.

but please, continue intentionally misinterpreting what I'm posting.

>> No.9194974

>>9193558
HAHAH underratted

>> No.9194992

>>9193618
uncurated


not a word, bro.

>> No.9195024

>>9193459
i didn't realize buying cheese and crackers and deli meat is cooking

>> No.9195026
File: 967 KB, 750x1334, IMG_7391.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9195026

>>9193558

>> No.9195040

>>9193382
what are they watching on the tv in the background????

whoever answers first gets an m&m cake

>> No.9195048

>>9195040
Colors make me thing Adventure Time.

>> No.9195049

>>9194841
my senpai, if you fucking watched me toss your salad you would sure as hell call me at LEAST a line cook.


especially if it was fuckin' las vegas buffet style- whippin' that shit up fast.

>> No.9195102

>>9193334

this is a skill every skilled chef must know.

why are you guys shitting on charcuterie? it is an essential part of any chefs repertoire.


pic related, and ops post is pure reddit cancer and all those bums shall learn on the day of the rope

>> No.9195104

>>9195049

answer the following...have you ever heard someone EVER in your entire life say the following phrase:

>I'm going to go cook us a salad

?

>> No.9195117

>>9194930
you faggot you salt and pepper your meat


when i bury it hot coals and ash that is all the fucking flavor I need


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGpQg6DWvAY

>> No.9195122

So one person at one end of the table gets a seat in front of the ham, crackers and cheese. Another person at the other end of the table is only eating grapes today.

I don't really see how this would work unless they were playing musical chairs.

>> No.9195127

>>9195117

>steven kikelan

neck yourself

>> No.9195129

>>9195117
well unlike reddit you cannot cook, it really is as simple as that I am afraid. Does not make you worse, just different.

>> No.9195137

>>9194965
I am enjoying this thread way too much. Actual cooking discord on this shit??

>> No.9195152

>>9195040
>hahah shitty granite
>terrible old crt TV with MLP on.
>bad food
>housepoor
>failure for son/daugher

/reddit


who am i quoting??

>> No.9195158

>>9195104


ummm yes sweetie, you don't know very many black people do you? my boss was shocked the sanitizer and detergent wasn't at the cooking station.

she be like- where da wata? u gon git writ up witeboy enjoy goin back to dishwasha

>> No.9195181

>>9194992

I don't agree. Than anon took a familiar prefix and applied it to a word that normally wouldn't take a prefix as a modifier, but it effectively conveyed what he meant, so I'd say it stands.

He could have just called it poorly curated and stopped both of our autisms from flaring up though.

>> No.9195197
File: 31 KB, 652x718, menoenglish.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9195197

>>9195181


I disagree! and I only speak one language:

ummmsweetie

>> No.9197108

Reddit > ck

Deal with it.

>> No.9197111

>>9193334
That's one big fucking Lunchable. They even made it look all fancy!

>> No.9197114

>>9193382
A-at least you made it yourself

>> No.9197205

>>9193334
here's the thing about charcuterie dinners - they result in the densest poos the next morning

>> No.9197210

>>9194812
>i cooked my salad bro
>COOKED UP A SALAD BRO

>> No.9197230

>>9193334
>opening a pack of crackers is now considered "cooking"

>> No.9197437

>>9194711
1980s mobile home faux marble

>> No.9197445

>>9197230
>>opening a pack of crackers is now considered "cooking"

Have you not met any millenials? They're incompetent as fuck.

They need all the help in life they can get.

>> No.9197481

>>9197108
Then stay there, masochist.