/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.8787742]

going to make my first smashburger today, pretty much will be the only thing in my 27 years on this planet that I will have made myself that didn't come with directions.
How do I do this?
I am a complete fucking failure at life and want to branch out.
What things do I need to buy from the store?
I have beef and cheese, I need buns.
Are there any recommended seasonings I should put on it?
My kitchen is super bare bones.

[Anonymous No.8787774]

pls hlp

[Anonymous No.8787804]

>>8787742
Okay friend, I googled smashburger and got the website for a chain restaurant, so I am guessing you're a pathetic NEET who has systematically obliterated his palate with years and years of garbage fast food.

So what you're going to fucking do is get some breadcrumbs, some onion, some eggs, some cooking oil, garlic, dijon mustard, fresh parsley, worcester sauce. For accompaniment/garnish, you want iceberg lettuce, salad tomatoes, gherkins, and some mature cheddar. I am assuming you already have salt and pepper.

Prepare your ingredients. This means chopping shit without killing yourself, and for fucks sake make sure everything is actually finely diced and not just hacked into chunks or it's going to have a shitty texture. You want one onion, and a few stems of parsley. Remember to get rid of the stems. The garlic should be crushed, about two cloves.

Chuck a kilo of beef into a bowl, about 250g breadcrumbs, the egg, the onion, the parsley, the garlic, a couple teaspoons of dijon mustard, and a few splashes of worcester sauce. Salt and pepper to taste. Mix well. Cover and leave to chill for a few hours.

Next, take this mixture and shape them into burgers. They'll shrink a bit while cooking, so keep that in mind. You can freeze any that you aren't going to eat right away, they defrost with about 4 hours in a fridge.

Heat a griddle pan until it is fucking hot. Not warm, hot. If you don't have it hot enough then your burger will start steaming itself and won't brown properly, and will be shit. The pan needs to be really hot.

Brush both sides of the burgers with oil and chuck them on there. After 3-4 minutes, flip them, and check if they're properly coloured. Repeat for the other side, continue until they're both well browned.

Shred some of the cheddar and put that shit on there, then bung them under a grill until the cheese melts.

Remove from the grill. Lightly toast buns. Add salad to buns. Add burgers to buns. Add condiments if you like.

Done.

[Anonymous No.8787835]

>>8787804
this reads like those Reddit infographs with the chili and stick figure guys
but also >breadcrumbs >egg
it's not fucking meatloaf

[Anonymous No.8787863]

>>8787804
Why the fuck are you putting eggs and breadcrumbs in your patties? That's just meatloaf

[Anonymous No.8787924]

>>8787835
>2K+17
>Boxxy

She hasn't been queen for years, and considering her attitude towards the God-Emperor, she doesn't deserve to be mentioned ever again.

>>8787863
True dat. Oatmeal isn't bad if you want to cut down on meats, but not much.

[Anonymous No.8787937]

>>8787742
>pretty much will be the only thing in my 27 years on this planet that I will have made myself that didn't come with directions.
>How do I do this?
No directions for you.

[Anonymous No.8787938]

>>8787742
>pretty much will be the only thing in my 27 years on this planet that I will have made myself that didn't come with directions
Yet here you are asking for directions. So what the hell are you even talking about you shitstain

[Anonymous No.8787957]

>>8787924
>attitude towards the God-Emperor
neck yourself

[Anonymous No.8787979]

>>8787804
Not only are you cocky as fuck, but you don't know shit. Get the fuck out here with your fucking meatloaf sandwich. Never post on my board again.

[Anonymous No.8787980]

>>8787835
>>8787863
Because it leads to an easier to prepare burger, you cunts, it's his first time cooking after 27 years of shitty fast food

Fuck you

[Anonymous No.8788363]

>>8787804
Oh lawd

[Anonymous No.8788390]

>>8787804
xD