/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.7001813]

Have you ever had anything really spooky happen to you in your kitchen? Bleeding faucets? Haunted salami? Iced coffee possessed by damned souls? Is your kitchen built over a grave as long forgotten as the moldy sour cream in your fridge? Could your sour cream be living? Did it grow teeth and develop the bloodlust?

Share spooky cooking stories.

[Anonymous No.7001823]

One time, I went out into the dark kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water, and a gecko fell on my head.
2spooky

Also there is never any food in my fridge.
So scary.

[Anonymous No.7001833]

>>7001823
Pretty spooky tbqh, keep em coming.

[Anonymous No.7001849]

I almost choked on a pickle

[Anonymous No.7001853]

I have a clock in the kitchen that ticks but the clockhands don't move

[Anonymous No.7001854]

One time I ate at a KFC and it forced me to release a thousand evil spirits in the bathroom.

[Anonymous No.7001863]

My kitchen was actually built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
When I open the freezer, I can hear the souls of the dead cry out. I find it kind of comforting, and just a bit chilly.

[Anonymous No.7001902]

people are always spooked by my marinara

[Anonymous No.7001911]

>>7001863
quality post.

[Anonymous No.7001933]

>>7001813

> be me
> be 16
> have friends over in parents basement
> late at night, parents fast asleep
> smoking weed and blowing the smoke into the fireplace so it doesn't reek up the basement
> friend is thirsty as fuck
> friend sneaks upstairs into kitchen
> finds delicious and refreshing transparent plastic pitcher of apple juice in fridge
> shinobi pours himself a glass and creeps back down stairs
>takes a massive thirst quenching gulp
>the perfect crime
>friend looks upset
>friend projectile vomits everywhere

mfw when it was pitcher of used vegetable oil my mom had cooled and reserved for later use.

[Anonymous No.7001957]

>>7001933
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlfJx1aDmR4
Reminded me of this

[Anonymous No.7003352]

>>7001933
Kek

[Anonymous No.7005144]

>>7001813
>haunted salami

[Anonymous No.7005152]

Not so much spooky as simply otherworldly, but anytime I try to cook Mexican food, it turns into Taco Bell because I don't have the prerequisite magical abuelita powers that keep the Taco Bell Elves away. They keep turning my birria and estofado oaxaqueño into Nachos BellGrande and Crunchwrap Supremes.

[Anonymous No.7005225]

>be me a few years ago
>my Italian grandmother had just passed away
>making carbonara at around 8 at night
>looking over grandma's tatter recipe card from the set she gave me before she died
>all handwritten by her, saved for decades
>just about to finish it off in the pan
>been debating for about 10 minutes if I should add cream or not
>decide to add the cream
>about 30 seconds later, the kitchen lights go out
>the faucet turns on
>the refrigerator door swings open, leaving a mark in the wall
>the light bulbs in the ceiling lights flash bright white, then exploded
>glass goes everywhere, from the sink to the stove
>a lot of it landed in the carbonara, ruining it
>out of the pan of carbonara rises a human-like, translucent figure
>it was my grandmother
>"VINCENT YA MOOK, YA JUST RUINED THE ENTIRE DISH"
>"DID I TELL YA TO ADD CREAM TO IT? NO, I DIDN'T"
>"s-s-sorry, gran" I say as I fell to my knees crying
>mfw

[Anonymous No.7005274]

>>7005225
> implying your Italian grandmother could fucking write in English
> implying you can read eye-talian
> not calling her nona

You're big fat phony. However, adding cream to Carbonara will indeed anger the spirits of the dead and conveniently trigger /ck/ too. Well done.

[Anonymous No.7005315]

>>7001813
>>>/x/

[Anonymous No.7005442]

>>7001863
>tfw no burial ground
>tfw can't rely on the icy grip of restless spirits to keep my food cold
>tfw electrical bills

[Anonymous No.7005453]

>>7005442
You don't want them. I mean yeah they keep my refrigerator cold, but the keep knocking over my milk.

[Anonymous No.7005457]

Here ya go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YZJt_Bw3eo
And one more:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWB3aOX_h4Y

[Anonymous No.7005462]

>>7005457
I like this one

[Anonymous No.7005464]

>>7001813
actually yes, the one paranormal experience I had was in my friend's kitchen. or rather, we were sitting in the living room and heard some shit moving around in the kitchen, we knew for a fact we were the only people in the house. we ran the fuck upstairs and hid in the bathroom for a half hour. came down and saw shit pulled out of the fridge and left on the counter, fridge door was open. the door was locked and we would have heard if it opened. don't expect anyone to believe me but it happened

[Anonymous No.7005465]

>>7005457
i'm not fucking sleeping tonight, spooky

[Anonymous No.7005475]

>>7005462
Wow! That's a real mover!

[Anonymous No.7005527]

>>7005453
quit impersonating me nerd.
They only live in the freezer.
>that music from Excalibur also plays every time I open it.

[Anonymous No.7005532]

>>7005527
>implying two people can't have refrigerator ghosts
who the fuck are you

[Anonymous No.7005538]

>>7001813
>be in the kitchen one day
>cooking up some dank pasta
>had smoked salvia three days before
>had smoked marijuana that day
>stir pasta for a couple minutes
>look to my left because I thought I saw something move
>see a glimpse of a rat before it disappeared
>not sure if I was having residual hallucinations from the salvia or if I have a pest infestation
>couple days later I'm cooking bacon
>see a rat steal one of my pan and disappear again
>look closet and there is a gap between the counter connected to my stove and the wall
>catch the rat and kill it

Moral of the story is, never mess with a mans bacon.

[Anonymous No.7005649]

I've had a ghost throw kitchen stuff at me while I was making tea once. True story.

[Bar b q king No.7005657]

1 time opened fridge this came out

[Anonymous No.7005783]

>>7005657
Not the hamplanet?

[Anonymous No.7005803]

>>7005274
>nona
Nona is a name, usually a shortened form of some other name, kinda like how in Italy 'Tina' is a shortened form of 'Cristina,' 'Valentina,' 'Giustina' or some other names ending in those four letters.
'Nonna' means 'grandmother.'
If you're going to pretend to know anything about my country and try to correct others, at least get your shit straight, you enormous faggot.

>>7005225
I don't mind cream in it. I don't use it myself, but it's no great sin so long as it's an egg-based sauce with lots of cheese in it that's thickened with grease from frying up several cubes of cured pork.
God help you if you add onions and peas, though.

[Anonymous No.7006032]

>>7005803
losing your shit over a typo

[Anonymous No.7006092]

>>7006032
Except it's unlikely to be a simple typo since "Italian" Americans seldom-to-never even pronounce, never mind spell, Italian words correctly. Or did you forget about how 'capocollo' can be written as 'copacol,' 'capacol,' 'capacola,' 'coppacolla,' 'gabagool' and several other variations of the proper spelling by greasy wop degos?

[Anonymous No.7006099]

>>7006032
You are an enormous faggot though, he got that right.

[Anonymous No.7006169]

>>7006092
>>7006099
same fagging, get real kiddo.

Pic Related

[Anonymous No.7007070]

>>7005225
kek

[Anonymous No.7007596]

>>7007070
Check'd

[Anonymous No.7007631]

I lived in a house that was haunted.
I kept seeing a little boy in the kitchen.
I moved a few months later.

[Anonymous No.7007675]

>>7005538
DUDE WEED LMAO

[Anonymous No.7008170]

>Haunted salami
How? You tried to stick it up yo ass and a ghost came out?