/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.6732229]

>when your girlfriend puts your metal kebab skewers directly on your favorite cutting board from the hot grill, melting huge holes in it

FUCK

[Anonymous No.6732234]

>gf

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.6732238]

Your favorite cutting board is plastic? And you have a retarded gf? Cool story brah

[Anonymous No.6732294]

>>6732234
I know you're kidding, but

>being less upset about the plastic cutting board

[Anonymous No.6732313]

>last week
>take chicken out of the oven
>place on cutting board
>juice running pink
>not done
>place back in oven
>check back in 10 min
>cutting board has melted into the rack

Yeah

[Anonymous No.6732327]

>>6732313

Fucking RIP

>>6732238

My true favorite is an end-grain wood board that I spent $100 on, but it's not very large and doesn't have a juice groove so it's not as effective as the one that just got ruined.

[Anonymous No.6732348]

>>6732327
>My true favorite


Its too late. We know you're a pleb.

[Anonymous No.6732442]

>>6732348

>mfw

[Anonymous No.6732484]

>>6732229
Weak ass cutting board tbh

[Anonymous No.6732681]

>>6732229
this is b8

saged and hidden

[Anonymous No.6732710]

>Come home from work
>Sister is deep frying mozzarella sticks
>Ask what oil she used
>Half a tin of my expensive olive oil
>Rage silently
>She frys a whole bag of mozz sticks for herself
>Immediately she pours the hot oil INTO the FUCKING SINK

That's the day I started to hide my oil.

She also poured a full thing of my peppercorns in some stew she made.

[Anonymous No.6732728]

>>6732710
That fun though, at least she's trying for you, you ungrateful pig.

[Anonymous No.6732740]

>>6732728
>at least she's trying for you,
Trying what?
To drive me insane? She's already accomplished that.

[Anonymous No.6732898]

>not owning a bamboo cutting board
pleb

[Anonymous No.6732901]

>>6732728
Did you miss the part where she was making them only for herself?

[Anonymous No.6734588]

>>6732728
>pouring hot oil down any sink you're not renting

[Anonymous No.6734595]

>>6732898
>bamboo
>pleb
Bamboo cutting boards are common as dirt ya' dingus.

[Anonymous No.6734601]

>i have a girl friend
fuck you, have some consideration for us forever alone anons you piece of shit

[Anonymous No.6734620]

>>6732229
Huh? Why were the metal skewers that hot without having food on them to buffer them off the cutting board?

[Anonymous No.6735995]

Plastic is best, get over it you autists.

[Anonymous No.6736022]

>>6735995

http://faculty.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/faculty/docliver/Research/cuttingboard.htm

[Anonymous No.6736023]

>>6734595
Bamboo dulls your knife.

[Anonymous No.6736030]

>visiting family from college
>family is fat as fuck, im in pretty alright shape
>all they usually eat for dinner is mcdonalds and krogers fried chicken
>sister and her friends are all tumblrettes, and theyre having a sleepover that night
>doctor says they need to eat healthy, but they refuse
>decide to make them something nice to see if they like it
>hope it might encourage them to eat a little better
>found a lemon pepper fish recipe that looked good enough
>bought all the ingredients from a local farmers market/health food store
>caught the fish myself
>bring it all home
>put ingredients in fridge, set out an area to cut up and prepare the fish
>halfway through, have to let dog out and plug in my laptop so it charges
>come back to fish missing
>looking around for it
>the dog is eating it outside
>first time ive ever felt true rage
>storming around house, asking who threw it outside
>sister threw it outside because "it looked gross"
>call her a dipshit
>her friends say shit like "fuck off pig" and "leave her alone, the fish was gross"
>give up and order pizza
>mfw sister spilled the pizza hut dipping sauce stuff all over my laptop later that night
>mfw within a year my mom and sister had a heart attack

[Anonymous No.6736066]

>>6736030
Omfg this made me rage ballistics . So much rage I could spit nails.
>eww it was gross
fucking cunt
bait or not I fell for it

[Anonymous No.6736069]

>>6736066
I was oddly thinking about that story today and was trying to remember where I read it.

[Anonymous No.6736071]

>>6732229
When your wife snaps a chunk out of the blade of your Japanese handmade Damascus steel tsuchime-finish Nakiri because she used it to hack open a coconut.

[Anonymous No.6736075]

>>6736030
Legitimately hope they were fatal heart attacks.

[Anonymous No.6736083]

>>6736071
You mean your ex wife i presume anon.

[Anonymous No.6736086]

I usually just ignore roommate type threads, but I can relate to this one, because I spend my money on decent kitchen shit, and rarely have people over fucking with it (it's been years since I've had a roommate).

But yeah, I once had a female friend over for a week (who I wasn't even sleeping with), and the base to my unicorn jr pepper grinder somehow ended up on top of the second-hand toaster over that I never even used, and nice shit melted.

[Anonymous No.6736088]

>>6736083
Why did I marry a woman who can't cook for shit?

Oh that's right, she's rich and has big titties.

[Anonymous No.6736119]

>>6736069
And it wasn't the picture I wanted to choose
smallworld

[Anonymous No.6736134]

>>6732327
>a juice groove
Get out you fucking soccer mom dyke

[Anonymous No.6736152]

hahaha this faggot has to use a cutting board i just use my dick

[Anonymous No.6736167]

>>6736071
> japanese damascus steel

[Anonymous No.6736170]

>>6732327
>didnt even make his own cutting board

I bet you shop at whole foods too

[Anonymous No.6736177]

>>6732229
>Tfw your roommate scrubs your seasoned pan with abrasives and soap
>Tfw your roommate dishwashes your good knife
>Tfw your roommate uses your other good knife to cut packages open and the sticky adhesive gets all over the blade
>Tfw your friend uses your makgeolli bowls to eat spaghetti out of and leaves the saucy mess in the sink

[Anonymous No.6736178]

>>6736177
Youre a bitch quit sitting around complacently

[Anonymous No.6736199]

>>6732229
>plastic cutting board

AHAHAHAHAHAHA FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.6736228]

>>6736167
Damascus is a metal smithing technique not just a location, you bung-huffing faggot.

[Anonymous No.6736246]

>>6732229
>roommate used my cast iron while i went home
>come back from weekend
>been soaking in soapy water in the sink
>sees me and says Sorry and proceeds to wash it with lots of soap

[Anonymous No.6736266]

>have saucepan for 4 years, used at least twice weekly
>in great condition
>roommate uses it once, big scratch down the middle
>same roommate used a sharp metal fork for cooking steaks in a teflon pan

[Anonymous No.6736304]

>>6734588

>pouring hot oil down the sink in ur rental

feels good man. coffee grounds too.

[Anonymous No.6736313]

>>6732229

how hot do the skewers have to be to melt wood OP, surely your not so much of a faggot to have inferior plastic

[Anonymous No.6736315]

>>6736246
Is that wrong? I wash my cast iron pan with steel wool and soap after every use. Am I doing it wrong?

[Anonymous No.6736719]

>>6736119
i think my favorite part of this picture is that the guac fruit is still stuck to the hand

[Anonymous No.6736721]

>>6732229
women don't have the same capacity for thought as men. They simply don't think about the skewer being hot or its effects on the cutting board. They lead a simple and happy life.

[Anonymous No.6736778]

My roomies just moved out, thank fucking god, but oh boy do I have some kitchen horror stories for ya'll about them.

>room with friends who are also a couple
>C is the male, E is the female
>since they're friends, we don't lay down any rules to begin with, BIG FUCKING MISTAKE
>the only rule I make is that they are not to use my good knife or cutting board
>surprisingly, they're okay with it
>my dad buys me all new pots & pans to celebrate me living "on my own"
>they're nicer than my roomies', so they throw theirs away and insist we can all just use mine
>itbegins.jpg

>C doesn't do diddly shit around the house because he's still stuck in the "hurr durr I'm the man of the house" mindset he had when living alone with his gf
>it bugs me, but not too much, to begin with, at least
>E and I do all the cooking, so naturally we get into more and more spats the more she reveals just how shit-tier she is in the kitchen

>have to tell her multiple times not to use shitty cooking spray on my non-stick pans
>keep finding residue on them anyways
>keep finding them in the fucking dishwasher even though I tell her I hate my pans dishwashed
>even catch her once about to run the dishwasher twice in a row, all because ONE bowl didn't get clean
>she constantly argues anytime I tell her not to do something/constantly disrespects my stuff

[Anonymous No.6736802]

>>6736778
>we have to make every meal to C's expectations
>no spices, no onions, no veggies (unless it's potatoes or something)
>he still whines most of the time that it's not "quite to his liking"

>E and I usually only get one serving of whatever we make, if we don't get our food before him, we don't even get to eat since he just takes "the rest" of whatever is in the pot
>half the time he can't eat it all and just throws it away

>E and I rotate doing dishes
>but slowly she slacks off and I get stuck doing the dishes for 3 weeks in a row
>call a roomie meeting, E is the only one there, C is on is computer playing vidya
>establish that we each need to start doing our own dishes
>they agree

>they leave their dirty dishes in the sink for a week, minimum before doing them
>this includes any pans of mine they happen to use
>ask E to please do their dishes one weekend
>come home from working 10hrs Monday to not only find their shit still in the sink but there is an even bigger mess since she had a friend over and they made "fried rice" using my wok
>start doing the pans, since I need to use them
>she asks if I'm mad
>tell her yes, I'm getting sick of cleaning up their messes to use MY stuff
>she screams at me because I'm being "rude" and tells me she was going to invite me on a walk with our mutual friend, but I'm "uninvited now"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.6736846]

>>6736802
>they don't even rinse their shit off and just leave stuff like General Tso's chicken to ferment in the sink
>my house (which I forgot to mention, they moved into MY childhood home that we were renting off of my dad) has always had ant problems, but now our kitchen becomes ant central
>can't leave anything on the counter now without it becoming infested
>this continues for quite some time, until I start slowly putting my foot down

>one day C comes home
>keeps pestering both of us to make him stirfry
>we tell him we don't feel like cooking
>I say I'm about to make something small for myself, most likely just some vegan mac'n'cheese or something (which is another thing I didn't mention before, I'm vegan, they aren't. We buy our own groceries and I told them my vegan food is off-limits, but C gets pissed when he asks to eat something of mine and I say no. Sorry bro, but I rarely eat my vegan tendies because they're expensive, I'm not giving them to you just because you piggishly ate your entire bag of normal tendies in one go and are now out)

>go to the restroom
>come back and C has taken up every burner on the damn stove making dinner
>makes just enough for for him and his gf
>none for me, doesn't even offer
>mfw it's not even the first time he's done this
>anytime he "cooks" it's only for him, or him and his gf
>and his cooking consists of tendies, melted Velveeta/rotel cheese dip, and Zattaran's rice
>literally that's it
>says he can't cook for me because he doesn't know how to make vegan food and it's my fault
>I tell him if he can't even make a damn salad to learn to cook then
>he says he can cook because he "took a cooking class in middle school, so stop making fun of me anon"

[Anonymous No.6736849]

>>6736178
Nigger, I'm coming home to this bullshit.

[Anonymous No.6736855]

>>6736846
>start making separate meals from them from that day forth
>they fucking hate it, keep asking to eat my damn food
>E hates spicy foods, C hates practically anything healthy
>make nothing but spicy as hell shit loaded with onions and veggies
>act innocent about it
>pretty sure they know what I'm doing at this point anyways, but fuck it

>they constantly leave their dishes in the sink for weeks on end, but have the nerve to yell at me for setting mine on the counter to dry for a few days since I "put them away in an untimely manner"
>pretty much at the end of my rope here
>in the meantime, I've established a cleaning routine for the household which we rotate
>even brought it up to the roomates to make sure everybody was on board
>kitchen cleaning is a duty that we rotate, but everybody still has to do their own dishes
>ask E to clean their dishes one day because I'm gonna clean the kitchen
>she bitches at me and throws a fit
>come home, separate the dishes completely
>tell them they aren't allowed to use my stuff anymore
>they pitch a fit
>I'm done caring at this point
>things start spiraling down and down
>they still don't do their dishes, and use mine
>I obviously notice that my silverware drawer is empty and my plates are ending up dirty
>confront them about it
>"stop accusing us anon! we didn't do it! you probably used them and just forgot!"
>mfw I wash my shit immediately after I'm done with it
>mfw living with completely disrespectful and immature people

[Anonymous No.6736862]

>>6736855
>being this much of a beta faggot
>those anime images

Please continue anon, your suffering fuels me

[Anonymous No.6736868]

>>6736846
>expecting a normal person to cook a separate, non vegan meal for you
No anon, you are the fucktard

[Anonymous No.6736870]

>>6736304
This. So much this. I pour my hot oils and coffee grounds down the sink all day every day. Fuck these puerto rican maintenance people, come fix my shit bitch.

"senor coffee grounds go into the trash"
"pls senor"

[Anonymous No.6736907]

>>6736855
Now just random incidents. This is much longer than I intended, but goddamn just thinking about them pisses me off.
>E making banana bread
>she says it's a 50/50 chance it turns out
>she never measures the ingredients (apart from the flour and banana) because she's a "natural cook"

>literally never measures anything because she's a "natural cook"
>is a huge weeb who eats most of her food with chopsticks lectures me constantly on "proper chopstick etiquette"
>but can't even use a damn wok correctly and basically just fills it up like a giant bowl to cook in

>uses extra virgin olive oil for EVERYTHING, even deep frying, or giving her rats baths
>once my oil in the kitchen went missing
>I found it in their godddamn bedroom and when I confronted them, they said "you might not want to use that in the food anymore, it's our special oil now"

>C deepfries his tendies, and uses fresh oil almost every time, so buying veggie oil is basically throwing money away
>if he sees it in the house, straight into the fryer it goes

>we rotate buying major things, like oil or flour or sugar
>anytime it's their turn, they buy the tiniest amount possible

>they moved out a month ago
>stole all my tupperware/juice pitchers/and other misc things
>thank god I had moved the rest of my stuff upstairs behind lock and key
>I cleaned out their silverware drawer
>rotten milk crusted to the bottom
>mfw I realize it was from 6 months ago when they moved in
>C had poured a bowl of cereal
>the plastic tupperware he was using (all the bowls were dirty) had a hole in it
>milk everywhere
>he called E and I in to look at the mess he made
>we all laughed, and went back in to watch TV
>he came in with us
>I told him to go clean up his mess
>mfw I realize he only wiped off the counter and didn't even clean the drippings up
>mfw they knew this was in their drawer and kept using it anyways

[Anonymous No.6736911]

>>6736868
No, no. I'm not saying they should have made separate meals, but the vast majority of the time whatever they're making can easily be veganized, like chips and cheese, just crack open a jar of salsa and add it to the meal. No need to just say "oh, well anon, this meal isn't vegan, so you can't eat any, and then flat out refuse to even share chips with me because it's part of "your meal"

It's fucking rude.

[Anonymous No.6736918]

>>6736907
You're not still friends with them right?

[Anonymous No.6736930]

>>6736911
No idea what happened to the rest of my post, but yeah.

Not too mention that when we did make meals, they always expected me to make meat dishes for them, which I didn't mind, because hey, they were my friends. I liked eating together, it's how I was brought up. So if I had to make some actual meat for taco night, on top of my vegan stuff, or fry up some chicken for a seperate batch of stir fry or fried rice, I was fine with it. Hell most of the time, I would make stir fry or rice, and when the meal was over, if we had leftovers, they would mix their meat with it to "save on refrigerator space" which also meant I couldn't eat the leftovers to the food I fucking made. Since I was the minority in the house with a 2-1 overruling, and I'm already self-concious that my vegan eating habits were driving a wedge in my friendship, I stayed quiet. But as I realized just how rude it was of them, I started getting more and more pissed off by it.

What I wasn't fine with was when they expected me to do all that, but refused to even shred up lettuce for me. It's fucking rude to treat somebody like that, especially when you want to call that person a friend.

>>6736862
I had major self-esteem issues and low confidence for a while, so I always thought I was the issue in our friendship. But as I moved out and gained independence, I realized these people that I called friends for two years were really people that just used others. I mean obviously I'm only trying to post the kitchen-related stories here, but these two were controlling, manipulative, and just overall awful, and I only realized it when it was too late. I wish I would have sooner, but I guess it's a lesson learned.

[Anonymous No.6736938]

>>6736918
Hell no. Once I started gaining self confidence and standing up for myself, they really took issue with it. We still have a bunch of mutuals, and while I don't want to influence their friendships, I really hope they realize how shitty these two really are, because everybody in our friend circle are all low-confidence people who are easily pushed around by them, and made to feel like shit. It's painful to know how that feels and to watch them treat your friends like that, but at the same time, my friends need to come to that realization themselves, which I believe they're starting to.

[Anonymous No.6736958]

>>6736030
I know someone similar that sounds like them, even down to the McDonalds (or fast food in general) and Kroger fried chicken. But they are fit as fuck. Genetic lottery I guess...

[Anonymous No.6736975]

>gf is over at my apartment
>wants to cook me a meal despite the fact that she can't cook for shit
>after the meal, she says "By the way I found some ketchup or something in the cupboard that was really, REALLY expired haha. I poured it down the drain and it came out all black and shit
>I look in the cupboard
>mfw she poured $80 of 18 year old aged balsamic vinegar down the drain

I'm dating a literal retard

[Anonymous No.6736983]

>>6732229
>not having a glass cutting board

[Anonymous No.6736984]

>>6736907
>uses EVOO for bathing her rats
lolwut

[Anonymous No.6736987]

>>6736983

[Anonymous No.6737004]

>>6736984
apparently its good for their skin or something

[Anonymous No.6737021]

>>6736984
I rub coconut oil on my dog's skin when I bathe him. Good for dry skin, dandruff, etc. It's not all that odd.

[Anonymous No.6737041]

>>6736984
She had hairless rats, and said the oil gathered up the dirt better, and prevented dry skin.
I see the logic in that, but what I don't like was that fact that she used a common resource that was to be used in the kitchen instead of just buying her own oil for her rats. Plus I don't see why it had to be extra virgin. She literally just thinks that EVOO is the best/healthiest oil, so she just uses it for anything that calls for oil.

[Anonymous No.6737055]

>>6737041
Was E fat?

I'd like to think she's really fat and crusty.

[Anonymous No.6737065]

>>6737055
No, she was at one point, but lost most of it. It gave her an ego the size of the hamplanet she used to be though. I could go on for days about her, trust me.

She also said she was gluten intolerant (because gluten gave her gas, or so she said) and touted herself as a "mostly vegetarian" despite the fact that she ate meat everyday, and her favorite fast food item was a KFC double down.

[Anonymous No.6737184]

>buy 1 decent paring knife, relatively expensive to the other handmedowns we got when moving out
>not stainless
>very clearly tell roommate to either not use it at all or clean it immediately
>3 days later, first time he uses it, to cut some acidic fruit
>leaves it on the counter for days without even rinsing it

>he bbq's with some friends
>2 weeks later there is still a bowl, cutting board and a few utensils outside

>he cleans out the fryer
>pan he used to catch spilt oil has been standing downstairs on 'his side' of the porch for 8 months so far

[Anonymous No.6737477]

>>6736870

hfw i jammed 10 lbs of potato peels down the sink

[Anonymous No.6737889]

>first week
>buy typical amerilard shit to not weird out roommates and try to fit in
>disappears instantly
typical
>second week
>load up on Based Putinfood™
>they don't come near that shit

[Anonymous No.6737894]

>Have fucking ant infestation cause it's summer in Oregon
>fucking roommates favorite thing to do is leave food on the stove
>wake up and walk into kitchen
>ants everywhere cause fat lazy faggot can't rinse out a god damn pan in the sink

GOD I WANT TO MAKE HIM DISAPPEAR. LIKE NOT EVEN KILL HIM, JUST PUT HIM ON A PLANE TO NIGERIA OR SOMETHING. UGH.

[Anonymous No.6737954]

>>6736778
>>6736802
>>6736846
>>6736855

everything about this sounded super fucking cunty and exaggerated and then i saw 'vegan mac n cheese' and i was like

oh

[Anonymous No.6737985]

>>6737954
It's a girl as well. At least I hope it is. I've never seen a man tell stories like that.