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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6695471 No.6695471 [Reply] [Original]

Imagine yourself eating this at a sidewalk cafe in Paris, on a sunny but cool Sunday morning.

>> No.6695482

>>6695471
And being robbed by immigrants. Paris is a shit hole full of wogs and coons.

>> No.6695487

>>6695482
this

>> No.6695491

>>6695482
Hey look, I found a golden ring. Is it yours, monsieur?

>> No.6695497

>>6695471
I don't have to imagine. I can remember, having done it many times. Next stops would be hitting a bakery, a charcuterie shop, a cheese shop, a wine shop and a greengrocer. (Or just a supermarket if feeling lazy). It'll be a picnic for lunch if the hotel room doesn't have a balcony.

>> No.6695513

>>6695491
This anon knows his Paris.

>> No.6695522

>>6695471
That'd be a great experience.

Like an experience where I'd be loke damn, life is good.

>> No.6695527

>>6695513
Anon, could you sign here please? Please sign for my cause.

>> No.6695528

>>6695471
nah.

probably too many niggers and towel wrappers walking around

>> No.6695531

>>6695527
Hold on, you need this string to get into da church! SIR, IT'S FOR ADMISSION TO THE CHURCH

>> No.6695552 [DELETED] 
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6695552

>>6695471
....then suddenly you hear air raid sirens and people screaming. You think, its just another riot, but then you hear automatic gunfire. Men shouting in some arabic dialect run towards you screaming and waving AKs about. They place a black bag over your head and shove you into the trunk of a car. After what seems like an abnormally long car ride you are dragged out of the trunk and you can feel your feet going over stairs as they carry you underground somewhere. Then the rape begins. You thought that being a man would save you from this, you were wrong. They laugh and make jokes as they anally violate you. After weeks of sexual abuse they finally drag you into a dank room that smells like bad meat and copper. They finally remove your hood, the sudden light blinds you temporarily, but as your eyes adjust you find yourself in a room full of dead, headless, bodies. Then you notice there is a camcorder a few feet away pointed right at you, with a masked man holding a machete standing behind it. You barely have time to yell "Je m'abandonne!" before he cuts your head off. As your skulls rolls on the floor you surprisingly are still conscious, and you see the muslims swarm on your corpse fighting for the right to rape it first. You last thought it "If only I was born in the US, this wouldn't have happened."


True story, bro.

>> No.6695557

the smell of awful cigarettes fills the air

>> No.6695567

>>6695552
and worst of all:
the assholes from the cafe have placed that one piece of baguette on top of the other, so the underside is completely greasy from the garlic butter, making your hands feel unclean once you touch it. you were expected to pay 5€ for this atrocity but luckily your muslim brothers saved you of this cruel fate.

>> No.6695580

>>6695567
>not dining and dashing in France
Everyone in Europe does this. No one pays whilst on vacation in France, its a matter of principle.

>> No.6695585

>>6695580
Support your claim with evidence.

>> No.6695603
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6695603

>>6695585
You want physical proof people committing crimes? Right, because everyone outside the idiots on facebook and youtube video take condemning activities so they can share it with others.

The retardation just exploded out from your fingers onto my screen, you should be more careful.

>> No.6695606

I kill myself because I'm in France and frogs are the absolute lowest rung of humanity and even being near one of the things is cause enough for me to kill myself

>> No.6695608
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6695608

>>6695603
Wow, english just went out the window, didn't it?

>> No.6695621

>>6695471
Why would I purchase bread at a cafe?

>> No.6695641

>>6695482
*starts weaving bracelet onto your wrist*

>> No.6695653

>>6695471
Well, first thing I'd do is move my wallet from my back pocket to inside my boxer-briefs. Then, I'd purchase some menthol chapstick and rub it under my nose to mask the Parisian scent. Next, I'd go to one of the many tourist attractions and spend hours in a line so I can take a few minutes to stare at art and architecture that I don't even appreciate, I just want to be able to tell people I did it so they'll think I'm interesting. And I certainly can't forget to update EVERYONE I know on social media of my activities, hopefully I'll make one of them jealous, thus validating my life.

>> No.6695681
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6695681

>>6695482
I've been to Paris three times. Once way back in high school (1999) and two more recently.

Even in the past 16 years it's turned to complete shit.

THe last two times I was there I couldn't stop asking myself, "Why did I come here again?"

>> No.6695684
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6695684

>>6695527
One girl asked me this last time I was there and I said
>"Why so you can pick pocket me?"
>She just gave me a wry smile
>And then I said, "Fuck off, mange du merde" (I don't even know if that is correct way to say 'eat shit'
>I don't think she was used to tourists telling her off
>Caught her off guard
>Laughed and walked away

>> No.6695691

>>6695681
If you want a good time in France, visit Normandy. It's way more chill and the food culture is on par with that of Paris, but with none of the smug, snobby pretense to importance of Parisian food culture.

>> No.6695700

>>6695691
I"ve been. Very nice indeed.

>> No.6695913

Paris is one of the worst cities I've ever seen. Nothing but tourists and scammers. Berlin was 10000x nicer.