ITT: Parents being embarrassing at restaurants

File: 75 KB, 660x666, 1395274297403.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

ITT: Parents being embarrassing at restaurants Anonymous Sun May 31 18:43:32 2015 No.6556110 [Reply] [Original]

>Dad and I go out for dinner
>Waitress says her name is Andrea
>She's cute and around my age
>She takes our order and leaves
>IT BEGINS
>"You should introduce yourself, Anon!"
>"Andrea sounds like a nice name for a daughter-in-law"
>Andrea this, Andrea that
>"Anon and Andrea sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
>Waitress overhears dad at some point, looks uncomfortable
>She seems to start avoiding us
>The manager comes over to our table
>He's a big scary black man
>"I've been told something might be the matter here. Is there anything I can help you with?"
>Dad says no, there must have been a misunderstanding
>Finish meal in silence
>Different waitress gives us our bill

That was a couple years ago. He still pulls this shit, but so far none have noticed since.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:45:13 2015 No.6556113 >>6556110 Haha wow if my dad tried that I would lay him out

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:46:22 2015 No.6556120 >>6556110 >sperg waitress and white(black)knight >blaming your dad you bringa shame upona yo famiry

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:49:02 2015 No.6556130 >>6556113 I wanted to strangle him. >>6556120 >Imprying he wasn't being cringey as fuck

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:50:50 2015 No.6556134 >Asian family >eating out at non-Asian restaurant >they always complain about the food >start comparing it to our own culture's food >it's either inferior or an imitation Apparently ravioli is just overpriced Italian dumplings.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:51:05 2015 No.6556136 >>6556110 how old were you guys? did he say 'daughter-in-law' about like a ten-year-old kid?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 18:56:18 2015 No.6556147 >>6556136 18 or so.

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:03:59 2015 No.6556166

>We take my dad's 80-year-old aunt out for dinner on her birthday
>Waitress asks if she'd like gravy on her fries for 50 cents extra
>She complains that they offer gravy for free at the place she usually goes to
>Tries to haggle for free gravy
>EVEN THOUGH WE'RE PAYING

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:07:57 2015 No.6556176 >take mom out to lunch >female server >"Hey anon she's flirting with you! ;)" Every single time.

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:08:51 2015 No.6556181
File: 956 KB, 1166x875, 1427485159366.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6556110
Go to diner with Grandpa in a mostly black part of town

>"Wow these cats have really made a way for themselves"
>"This is SUCH a nice place for these people"
>"Dont nigger lip your cola Derek"
>"God I hate black music"
>"You should marry a girl like that (pointing to waitress), a white one though"

I swear I can't take him anywhere

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:12:29 2015 No.6556188 >>6556181 >nigger lip your cola What does that even mean?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:13:03 2015 No.6556190 >>6556181 The fuck does "nigger lip" mean in this context? Like drink from the side of your mouth?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:14:36 2015 No.6556196 >>6556190 >>6556188 Drink with your lips all over the rim. Its an old fashioned term. From the 50s I think Something about blacks having big lips

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:15:03 2015 No.6556198 >>6556181 >these cats Does he wear a leather jacket and listen to Gene Vincent?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:17:39 2015 No.6556203 >>6556110 I wouldn't worry about it anon, you're clearly too beta to reproduce either way.

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:19:15 2015 No.6556210
File: 22 KB, 616x387, ss+(2015-05-31+at+07.17.19).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6556196
Huh.

>>6556203
I can't help but feel that his incessant teasing has cntributed to me feeling uncomfortable talking to girls. He's never given me serious woman advice.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:21:45 2015 No.6556220 >>6556210 Same thing. Lips over rim. Whatever man

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:23:05 2015 No.6556228 >>6556210 >tfw your family has inadvertently ended its own lineage

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:27:25 2015 No.6556235 >>6556176 Why the fuck do moms do this? Waitresses are paid to be polite

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:28:07 2015 No.6556236

Not a parent per se but god do I have a story.

Before I get started, let me just say I love my uncle. My uncle, we'll just call him Uncle, was seriously injured as a child. As a result he sounds somewhat mentally challenged and his speech is abnormally loud and slow.

>be me
>with my mother and Uncle at new Asian restaurant
>place is a very nice, very upscale Japanese sushi bar
>delicious everything
>strict but polite Japanese wait staff
>waiting at table while looking at menu
>everything is cool
>the restaurant has a very calm and quiet atmosphere to it
>uncle and mom chatting
>suddenly for reasons unknown, uncle starts loudly discussing the topic of Asian people
>"This is Japanese? I thought it was Chinese.. What's the difference?" -loud laugh-
>mother and I quietly but quickly explain and try to veer subject elsewhere
>this does nothing to deter uncle
>he continues
>my anus clenches with fear and shame
>preparethyselfmortal.png
>"ME CHINESE ME PLAY JOKE ME PUT PEE PEE IN YOUR COKE"
>Mom is horrified "UNCLE NOO SHHH JESUS CHRIST"
>turn red and hide behind my menu
>wait staff look at us with the fury of 1000 ancient samurais
>and then
>oh god no
>uncle pulls the corners of his eyelids to make 'asian eyes' and starts going HEI HEI HEI HEI
>jesustakethewheel.gif
>have never been so embarrassed and uncomfortable
>he stops at last
>shamefully order food and eat in silence
>never make eye contact with waitress
>checks privilege out the door

I'm pretty sure if I didn't eat a variety of bodily fluids that night I now have several ancient Asian curses laid upon myself and my family.

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:28:45 2015 No.6556238

>>6556210
Your father shouldn't be giving you advice on how to talk to women; it's a learned trait. Your father figure (be it your step-dad or something along those lines) is simply suppose to expose you to the nuances of manhood in order for you to meet girls. You have to do it yourself. Your dad wasn't being a dick, he was trying to do you a favor (sort of). You should have shamed your dad i.e. sorry about my dad, he's an ass like that, but you are cute, etc.That would have been a much more lucrative endeavor than being silent and embarrassed.

Welcome to adulthood; it's uncomfortable.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:31:53 2015 No.6556248 >>6556236 I can see your fucked-up ancestral chakras from here, anon. But your uncle totally earned them.

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:32:28 2015 No.6556252

>>6556238
I could get behind the shaming, but calling her cute would just double the embarrassment because I'm a fat neckbeard.

I'm 22 and I still can't mention having interacted with a girl in any capacity without him going "OOOOH, IS SHE YOUR ~GIRLFRIEND~, ANON?"

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:33:32 2015 No.6556255 >cruising with Aunt >windows down >in little Italy >"WE SHOULD STOP AND GET SOME GOOD DAGO FOOD!"

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:38:20 2015 No.6556266 >>6556252 Then stop being a neckbeard buddy. Clearly the ball is in your court. Sucks being told this, but you need to live of to the expectations you set for yourself. You'll make it man, just accept the hard things.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:39:44 2015 No.6556270 >>6556266 >you need to live of to the expectations you set for yourself. What expectations? I just wish my dad would be more mature in that regard.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:40:42 2015 No.6556272 >>6556266 >just stop being ugly :)) Fuck off normie

Anonymous Sun May 31 19:51:42 2015 No.6556295

>Go to Chinese place with parents and sister for her birthday
>Dad the whole time making jokes about ching chong this and chink eye that pretty loudly
>Old Chinese waitress obviously being cunty, can only imagine why
>Dad orders shrimp, mom orders fried duck
>Mom talking about how she doesn't think its duck and wont finish it
>Dad arguing with the waitress demanding tartar sauce, yells "TAR-TAR, I SAID TAR-TAR" when she tries to say they don't carry it

Fuckin' hell man

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:54:07 2015 No.6556306 >>6556181 I don't know why but old people racism is kinda endearing

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 19:54:33 2015 No.6556307 >>6556295 Why do people do this though?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:07:24 2015 No.6556334 File: 130 KB, 960x1280, IMG_2943.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556134 lol MOre story?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:08:39 2015 No.6556339 File: 443 KB, 427x466, british surprise.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556166 Gravy on chips? Are you British?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:11:23 2015 No.6556347 File: 79 KB, 467x350, weirdchips.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556339 >Not being Canadian

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:11:45 2015 No.6556348 >>6556339 Could be from maple syrup health care land.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:12:41 2015 No.6556354 File: 70 KB, 163x269, ali dimaev.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556348 ah right. since he did use fries instead of chips. Though they do use fries in UK for the skinny fries (like the ones you get at mcdonalds)

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:30:16 2015 No.6556399 >>6556236 >My uncle, we'll just call him Uncle, was seriously injured as a child. As a result he sounds somewhat mentally challenged No, your uncle is actually retarded, funny, but retarded.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:30:27 2015 No.6556401 >>6556307 White privilege. It's a thing.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:32:28 2015 No.6556408 File: 11 KB, 224x225, sav.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556401 THat has nothign to do with white privlege. go back to tumblr or reddit you fucking moron

Anonymous Sun May 31 20:54:50 2015 No.6556494

>Go to a nice restaurant
>order salads as starters
>My father orders his with "extra ranch dressing"
>They bring out two cups of ranch for him
>"Wow they really don't know what extra means, do they?"
>Gets more ranch
>Makes practically a ranch soup
>Waitress cannot stop looking at it when she swings by to check on drink status
>Entrees come
>Father asks for extra ketchup and A1 for his steak
>Restaurant does not have A1, has a homemade sauce that is similar though
My father dumped ketchup and the steak sauce on his steak in a layer that was almost thick as the steak itself. It was nasty and smelled bad
>Father keeps calling the waitress, "hun" and "babe" and "sweetie"
I felt really bad for her.

Also, my father did not know "Portobello" was a kind of mushroom. My father apparently hates mushrooms. Blamed the server for the menu being vague.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 20:57:05 2015 No.6556507 >>6556110 Your dad should have grabbed her tight ass, grills named Andrea are usually cute.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:02:12 2015 No.6556520 File: 2.66 MB, 2347x3285, Andrea_Libman_04_(14948060937).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556507 Heh, they sure are~

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:27:02 2015 No.6556589 >>6556134 sounds like chinese people. they're dicks about everything. Japanese would never do this. Koreans... not so sure.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:27:34 2015 No.6556593 >>6556589 fucking weebs.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:28:52 2015 No.6556597 >>6556235 When parents do this it's them trying to tell you to get laid. They never do this if they know you get/have had girlfriends. They do this all the time when they haven't seen you with a girl in a while (or at all)

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:29:42 2015 No.6556601 >>6556494 How fat and stupid is he? I bet he ordered a diet coke, too.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:30:23 2015 No.6556603 >>6556593 >implying Chinese people aren't the fucking scum of the earth I hope one takes a shit in the aisle of your next flight.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:32:08 2015 No.6556607 >>6556597 Thankfully only my dad does it. Mom knows it serves to do nothing but make me uncomfortable.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:32:36 2015 No.6556610 File: 55 KB, 600x800, ac6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556603 S-sorry for insulting you, Ken-sama. Please don't slice me in half with your katana!

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:34:08 2015 No.6556612 >>6556110 You're dad sounds hilarious. 10/10 dadness.

Anonymous Sun May 31 21:34:39 2015 No.6556614

In Austin Texas, summer.

>wow its hot outside, can you bring my sweater in case it gets cold?
mom refuses to eat inside if theres an outside eating area.
>only table available is one near the bar
>cover band playing songs
>its 85 and humid
>mom starts complaining the music is too loud, and we aren't making enough conversation
>bar waiter isn't paying enough attention to us
>bar waiter is clearly in it for the tips from the drunken patrons
>gets thirsty and upset the bar waiter doesn't bring water right away despite being 3 feet from the bar
>gets bumped into numerous times, some drunk, some just passing by the bar
>people yelling over the music band and spilling drink onto the table
>why can't you (me and brother) just enjoy the nice restaurant?

really mom? You're shocked that in high heat/humidity, an amateur band, and a bar setting you're shocked service is shit, its loud, and we're not enjoying ourselves? How did you make it 62 years in this world and not correlate any of these things?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:35:59 2015 No.6556619 >>6556520 Found the ponyfaggot

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:36:48 2015 No.6556621 >>6556181 Based gramps

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:37:58 2015 No.6556623 >>6556236 >be me WHO ELSE WOULD YOU BE, FAGGOT?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:40:49 2015 No.6556630 File: 1.19 MB, 1654x938, blythe_grin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556619 Found the other ponyfaggot~

Anonymous Sun May 31 21:42:16 2015 No.6556634

>>6556607
Cuz your dad was probably having threesomes with Swedish backpackers every weekend and sees his 20yo son never having had any evidence for liking females, let alone dating one. Annoying especially if you're dating a girl/s but keep it on the downlow.

And the constant...
"Yea you should go date some girls anon"
"That girl at the check-out is cute, ask her out!"
"If I was your age...."

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:48:57 2015 No.6556642 >>6556634 My dad looks like Bert from Sesame Street and married a woman fifteen years older than him. If he thought I'm gay he'd be much more concerned than he is.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 21:51:05 2015 No.6556647 >>6556597 My mom is constantly telling me that I should date someone, it's fucking annoying. She tries to guilt trip me by saying she wishes that there would still be someone in the world who cares about me after she dies.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:07:23 2015 No.6556672 File: 1010 KB, 499x371, Welcome to 4chan.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556619 >>6556630 >MLPfag vs LPSfag FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:10:33 2015 No.6556680 >>6556601 Not fat, but pretty ignorant. ...but yes, he did.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:29:35 2015 No.6556735 >>6556196 >Drink with your lips all over the rim How the fuck else are you supposed to drink out of a glass? Just open mouth it? Fuck that. I enjoy not pouring shit all down the sides of my face and neck.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:34:19 2015 No.6556749 >>6556614 Obviously, your mother isn't a whiny, soft bellied bitch. Though, she's unfortunately given birth to two of them.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:35:53 2015 No.6556751 >>6556134 >asians >ninja-jews

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:37:25 2015 No.6556757 anytime a plate or something is dropped my dad will yell OPA!

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:37:37 2015 No.6556758 File: 12 KB, 179x169, 123164648433.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556236 >>6556399 I love seeing ones childhood understandings of the world dissolve right before my eyes.

Anonymous Sun May 31 22:38:28 2015 No.6556761

>>6556235
>>6556597
On the opposite end, I work as a cashier at a big corporate retailer where I have to be as polite as possible to every single customer or else I risk getting customer complaints which screw me out of my annual raise. One particular time, however, this middle aged woman came in with her son. I processed their transaction and everything, and they went out, but a few minutes later the mom comes back through and hands me a piece of paper with a phone number and a name on it. She told me he just turned 18 and I would be "a perfect match" for him.

It really caught me off guard. I never called him.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:42:02 2015 No.6556770 >21st birthday >classy brewery with dad >waitress about my age comes over >dad asks her about a certain beer >waitress starts explaining >interrupts her >"Is this a dark beer 'cause dark beers make me shit" >"haha.. yeah"

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:45:46 2015 No.6556780 File: 26 KB, 289x392, 1428221538561.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >that'll be eight seventy five, please >EIGHT HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS?! >ahhahha.. hehe..ha... every time

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 22:58:55 2015 No.6556817 >>6556761 That kid has probably killed himself since then.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:07:10 2015 No.6556852 My mom always tries to talk in Spanish to all the hispanic people she sees in the restaurant and does a very bad and offensive job. She also tried to talk in Spanish to an Indian server.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:08:17 2015 No.6556856 Anyone wanna hear stories of my schizophrenic sister in restaurants?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:09:19 2015 No.6556860 >>6556856 sure

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:09:51 2015 No.6556864 >>6556761 L O N D O N O N D O N

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:11:15 2015 No.6556869 >>6556852 Is your name Bobby Hill

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:14:36 2015 No.6556880 >waiter/waitress asks if we need anything >dad: Can I borrow some money? >waiter/waitress brings check >dad: I don't need that, i'm not staying for the drawing.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:15:05 2015 No.6556883 File: 378 KB, 960x1800, 1361139850734.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556347 I'm Canadian and I've never seen these. When were they a thing?

Anonymous Sun May 31 23:18:43 2015 No.6556898

>>6556860
Here are some shorter stories, before I get to the worst one.

>be with family in restaurant
>everything is fine
>she suddenly yells
>"NIGGER!"
>everyone turns around and it gets quiet
>she gets offered free ice cream

Next

>be with family in restaurant
>sister does this thing where she will "hate" a random customer
>it's completely random and she'll yell and make faces at them or sometimes throw things
>she tries to attack a lady and tries to climb over the table

Here's an interesting one.

>in restaurant with family
>she's getting a little loud
>mom gives her a napkin and a pen and tells her to draw something
>hopefully this helps
>pen flies across the restaurant
>it's never seen again

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:24:16 2015 No.6556916 >>6556898 your sister should just get takeout

Anonymous Sun May 31 23:26:36 2015 No.6556927

I went to a restaurant with my uncle once for my grandma's birthday. He didn't like the way they cooked his steak(?) so he sat there and complained and bitched the entire time. The GM came by to apologize and offered to make him a new. He flat out refused claiming they were going to do something to his steak like poison it. I tried to explain to him that he was being silly but he would have none of it. He talked down to the GM to the point where the guy just offered to comp the meals of everyone (there were 10 of us).

I have never felt more embarrassed than that moment. Worse still, the guy can't cook and is a 50 year-old career lifeguard... The waitstaff there had a shitton of patience to tolerate him without kicking us out.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:45:53 2015 No.6556998 File: 386 KB, 445x454, obsetiy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556898 lol

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:50:15 2015 No.6557016 File: 10 KB, 230x219, 1432693939290.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] ITT: sperglords being too autistic to criticize their own terrible meal, so they have mommy do it for them and then complain about it on an anonymous imageboard

Anonymous Sun May 31 23:50:28 2015 No.6557018

>>6556898

Here's the worst one. We will never go back to the restaurant.

>go to pizza place
>we park car
>she opens car door and gets out very fast and she's yelling
>"I WANT PIZZA!" and some other stuff.
>she slams door and punches window (luckily it doesn't break)
>she runs in pizza place screaming
>keep in mind that the restaurant is really busy
>mom goes after her
>i just wait in car with my brother
>i can see my sister running towards the kitchen (we're parked close)
>i hope my mom can get her out
>waitress comes out of restaurant and to our car
>"I think your mom needs help."
>as my brother and i are getting out of the car, three police cars with the lights on show up
>oh shit
>walk inside
>sister is seated in the corner and there's a pack of saltine crackers on the table
>she seems a little more calm
>police approach her and ask her what's wrong
>she throws crackers at one of the officers
>they're nice about it
>when they ask her what's wrong, she just talks nonsense
>they can't understand what she's saying because it's just gibberish with random words (mostly swear words) sprinkled in
>they eventually get her to walk out to our car
>we take her home and never return
>i hear from my mom that she ran into the kitchen, threw things, and attacked employees

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:51:27 2015 No.6557020 >>6556110 You could have used that situation to your advantage

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:54:59 2015 No.6557030 >>6557018 how old is she in this story?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:57:27 2015 No.6557040 >>6557030 26

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:59:00 2015 No.6557046 >>6556817 rip in piece :(

>>	Anonymous Sun May 31 23:59:46 2015 No.6557051 >>6557040 is she hot?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:01:26 2015 No.6557060 >>6557051 not even close

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:05:02 2015 No.6557071 >>6557018 So how long did it take your family to realize that you cannot take a violently insane individual outside in a situation where you cannot firmly control them?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:06:34 2015 No.6557079 >>6557071 She's wasn't always like that. We still had to take her out of the house.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:09:47 2015 No.6557090 >>6557079 time to go to a judge and get a mental health hold on her before she tries to kill someone

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:11:19 2015 No.6557099 >>6557079 >>6557090 http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/legal-resources/state-standards/2265

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:16:06 2015 No.6557123 >>6556735 It means when you use the inside of your lip which covers the rim in spit. You're supposed to purse your lips slightly so you make contact with just the dry part of your lips.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:16:35 2015 No.6557127 >>6557079 >sister is violent and uncontrollable >lel she need fresh air no one wants to be exposed to danger for a retarded reason like that

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:19:08 2015 No.6557143 >>6557127 >putting her out back on a rope like a dog kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:20:52 2015 No.6557149 >>6556883 I see the chicken ones here in Ontario all the time. They just taste like allspice. >>6557018 Are you sure she's not autistic/retarded?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:21:25 2015 No.6557152 I want to fuck insane sister-chan

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:23:21 2015 No.6557156 >>6557149 She was completely normal until around 17 years old when it developed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:26:53 2015 No.6557167 >>6557156 Man, that's sad.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:29:33 2015 No.6557174 >>6557156 Kind of jealous tbh. It would be nice to just check out like that, you pretty much just wouldn't even exist at that point.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:32:23 2015 No.6557180 File: 197 KB, 517x768, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556642 >My dad looks like Bert

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:34:22 2015 No.6557185 File: 49 KB, 600x431, HaHa_Internet_Guy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6557180 He kind of looks like the HA HA internet guy

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:36:11 2015 No.6557195 >>6556614 Wow, you sound like such a little pussy

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:53:37 2015 No.6557242 File: 23 KB, 500x411, 1433016964707.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556647

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 00:57:43 2015 No.6557254 >mother is in a bad mood >going through coffee shop drive through >her coffee is too light >goes back through drive through >throws coffee at the worker in the window >drives off This is why I believe women are insane.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:09:04 2015 No.6557295

It's not as bad as a lot of you guys, but my dad trying to understand waiters/waitresses with accents and thinking people talk too quietly

>waitress says the specials clearly audible
>SORRY WHAT WAS THAT
>she repeats them
>I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU
>she repeats them louder
>he looks at us and says WHAT DID SHE SAY?

>waitress has accent, says stuff, easily understandable
>he says WHAT
>she repeats slower
>I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU
>she does it again
>OH I'LL JUST READ THEM ON MY OWN

Fucking humiliating

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:09:09 2015 No.6557296 >>6557254 You think all women are insane because raising you drove your mother crazy?

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:09:49 2015 No.6557298
File: 72 KB, 450x600, 1429243652942.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>at my favorite Japanese restaurant
>Dad and uncles are typical old men, who don't like sushi or anything japanese
>Dad starts saying racist shit
>see the waitress hear it
>get immediately a panic over my face
>Eat dinner
>Both dad and uncles having heavy sake
>end dinner
>Dad starts acting like he's having a stroke
>WHY NO STOP
> he gets on the floor and starts making a scene
>everyone around me horrified
>I can never go back
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:10:07 2015 No.6557299 >>6557296 My sides

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:11:39 2015 No.6557302 >>6557296 Her bad mood had nothing to do with me at the time kek. I just happened to be there.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:14:47 2015 No.6557309 >>6556623 Tyler Durden.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:17:55 2015 No.6557319

>go to Hometown Buffet when I was 14
>Playing game on handheld
>"EAT YOU'RE SPAGHETTI ANON" Mom yells
> Duck down a bit, people are staring
>Eat bit of spaghetti
>FUCKINGGROSS.png
>continue playing game
>"EAT YOUR SPAGHETTI, ANON!" Mother yells again
>Man walking out of resturaunt
>walks by me and whispers "eat your spaghetti, Anon"
> Fat Hawaiian dude in the table next to mine tries to be a psuedo father figure.
>Eat grosspaghetti
>gag
>"EAT YOUR SPAGHETTI, RIGHT NOW"
>I want to leave now.
>I find out a way to escape
>we end up getting kicked out after I threw the salt shaker at a waiter (plan worked)
>people stare with giggles on their faces as we leave
>the end.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:20:53 2015 No.6557327 >>6556634 >wanting to have sex >being a normie REEEEEEEEEEE

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:26:48 2015 No.6557339 >>6557143 >not killing her

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:28:53 2015 No.6557342 >>6557195 Shut up bitch nigger normie, stop defending retarded bullshit

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:30:28 2015 No.6557347 >>6557295 Kill the monster

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 01:43:46 2015 No.6557368 >>6556166 If I were the waitress, I would tell that 50 cents is a discount for no-gravy-fries.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:07:30 2015 No.6557433 >>6557319 did the spaghetti fall from you mom's pocket or something

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:15:59 2015 No.6557457 >>6556136 "around my age" If I get a 10 year old waitress, I am leaving.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:19:55 2015 No.6557464 File: 55 KB, 378x566, 1430772654379.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >hey grandma what are we having for dinner >spaghetti with eyetalian sausage Everytime.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:22:41 2015 No.6557470 >>6557464 >bitching over getting the good sketti instead of that crap with cheap ground "beef"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:23:23 2015 No.6557474 >>6556252 I knew this from the OP. I see you and your dad in restaurants all the time. There's so many of you. Do you also like mlp? Do you wear mlp shirts?

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:28:54 2015 No.6557487

>uncle and dad are best friends with eachother
>uncle moves down from PA to FL, about 10mi from where my parents and I lived
>Weekly thing we go out to eat with uncle, who always like to make jokes, play pranks, but is a really cool guy that's impossible to dislike
>First few weeks, it's around his birthday, have the waitrons do the whole happy birthday thing
>Do this every week, though, he catches on. It is now my uncle's and my dad's birthday every time
>Goes on for a bit, even doing the same restaurants within a few months
>Eventually it's either myself or my mom say we need to go the restroom
>Tell host or waitron that uncle has brain damage (he doesn't) and hearing problems (he doesn't) so talk slowly and loudly
>sing that way too
>May I take your order
>May I take your order
>May I take your order
>AND HELLO SIR, WHAT WOULD YOUUUU LIKE TO EAT TODAY? HUUUH?

>Happy birthday sung normally to dad
>Happy birthday sang almost obnoxiously loud and slow to uncle

>After two times of this, Uncle has apparently researched brain damage and deafness, and acts in a way that's convincingly that he's a potato that can't hear
>Embarrass everyone with massive retardation

>Pretty sure every middle class restaurant within a 20 mile radius hates us by now, but goddamn it was hard not to laugh

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:31:43 2015 No.6557500 >>6556735 Nigger lipping is just leaving your drink wet with either the drink or your slobber. I've only really heard it with sharing joints and shit

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:35:28 2015 No.6557508 >>6557174 You exist, and it's terrible

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:36:04 2015 No.6557509 >>6557474 I may be a loser, but I'm a self-aware loser.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:40:04 2015 No.6557519 >>6557509 You didn't answer my questions

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:45:51 2015 No.6557533 >>6557519 AKA not a brony/fedoralord.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 02:54:59 2015 No.6557557 File: 203 KB, 800x599, 1430987051423.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556614 >complaining about humidity >Austin, TX Do you sit down when you pee? Austin feels like a desert compared to Houston.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 03:53:18 2015 No.6557649 >>6556113 don't cut yourself on that edge, kid

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:05:48 2015 No.6557666 > dad ordering steak at restaurant > I'd like it well done

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:08:07 2015 No.6557672 >>6556603 I actually like Chinese and Koreans better. Chinese society is fucked up but Chinese people are overall more friendly than Japanese. So are Koreans.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:14:32 2015 No.6557678
File: 31 KB, 473x480, Me.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Eating at a chicken wing dive with Aunt and Mom
>Waitress comes to take order
>Me and Aunt decide to split some wings
>Mom wants to order tuna salad
>"Sorry we are all out, the owner who makes the tuna is out for her birthday."
>Mom just orders water and celery instead
>Waitress leave
>Mom starts complaining about how the tuna is out
>"I don't give a shit if it's her birthday. why did she tell me that I don't care."
>We eat our meal and it comes to paying
>"I'm not gonna tip just because of the tuna salad comment."
>mfw

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:16:34 2015 No.6557685

>Always had a pretty rubbish relationship with my dad
>always felt i never lived up to his expectations of a son
>never did much with him because i was a lazy shit
>moved country, got a job, girlfriend, did shit with my life when i hit 20
>few years later visit back to my country and stay around his house for a few weeks
>tfw he invites me out for a meal and we drink like bro's eat some gud steak with extra ketchup and i feel my dad actually likes me for the first ever time

Never went out enough with parents to eat, i went with my mother once and she was a vegetarian, she bitched about the lack of vegetarian meals at a pub that clearly was a sort of BBQ steak house place. She got a salad in the end and whined about it the whole time, and even asked the staff to remove the croutons because they tasted funny.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 04:25:46 2015 No.6557697 >>6557672 Koreans>japs>others>>>chinese

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:01:57 2015 No.6557818 >>6557487 I almost lol'd. I didn't. But I did nearly. I'm far too highborn to ever display actual amusement. >wipes monocle with handkerchief Far too highborn.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:07:45 2015 No.6557823 I can't go to foreigners restaurants (indian, japanese, chinese, etc...) with my parents, they always make awkward racial comments. They're not discreet tho

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:13:40 2015 No.6557827

>take mom to local best in city for last 4 years
>indian, legit indian, fresh papadam, roti, naan the works
>obviously indian waiter comes for order
>mom turns on the ol' racism, talks down and really slowly to the 20ish year old boy
>proceed to get massive plate of sides and mains
>mom eats nothing other than water and a sip of lassi
>proceeds to whisper LOUDLY how she won't eat the food because she's 'afraid of 9/11'
>leave generous tip despite her saying it'll go straight into the funds of terrorism
>don't want to go back despite knowing owners and that waiter personally from biweekly dinners out there

goddamnit mom turn down your racism

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:58:17 2015 No.6557871

>>6556236

Mine isn't about food.

>Took dad to Chinese New Year Festival
>We watch people dance to a Chinese song
>my dad sings, "ching chong, deo deo deo"
>Everyone there is Chinese, except us.
>I walk off and comes back
>Dad: "I'm older than you and I can say what I want!"
>I never take my dad to a cultural festival again.

--------------

>Specialist office
>My mom came with me
>Indian doctor, close to door.
> Mom: "He's on the phone with his wife. "Sweetheart, let's have a curry party, curry curry party.""
>I get mad but I can't help laughing.
>Doctor walks in, looking angry.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 06:58:22 2015 No.6557872 >>6556672 Heh. Thanks for the laughs, anons.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:11:15 2015 No.6557886 >Dining in a restaurant in Chicago >The family next to us is black >Dad talks about black people for most of our meal, using the word "nigger." >brother laughs >I pretend not to notice, as I keep busy, talking to my mom, nephew and sister-in-law.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:15:06 2015 No.6557895 File: 7 KB, 251x242, sad annoyed frog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I wish I had interesting families like you guys. Cherish your embarrassing family members, at least they have personalities.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:17:11 2015 No.6557897 >>6557156 Has she been tested for Huntington's?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:18:13 2015 No.6557898 >>6556883 I see the fries n gravy at Mac's. Never seen the chicken one though

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:43:27 2015 No.6557925 >>6556113 >I would lay him out where do you live? in my country it isn't normal to have sex with your dad

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:45:14 2015 No.6557931 >>6557060 pics?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:45:47 2015 No.6557933 >>6556181 treasure these moments with your grampa

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:46:43 2015 No.6557934

>>6556134

My cunty asian housemate from Burma does this shit. His food just tastes like garlic and ginger all the time, and he dumps sriracha on everything. Then turns around and says European food is bland. Like bitch your tastebuds are burned out. The flavors are more subtle and balanced, not like some retard kid poured the entire spice cabinet into a pot of mush.

He also thinks rice is literally the greatest food of all time and a panacea, and eating rice makes you big and strong. Yeah, that's why asians are so tall and muscular, right?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:53:45 2015 No.6557947 >>6557254 Fuck you, man. "All virgin men are insane because Adam Lanza and Elliot Rodger."

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:54:42 2015 No.6557949 >>6556188 It's when a person puts a lot of saliva on the end of something people put in their mouth while sharing it around. You need to smoke more pot.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:56:03 2015 No.6557951

>>6557934
>He also thinks rice is literally the greatest food of all time and a panacea, and eating rice makes you big and strong. Yeah, that's why asians are so tall and muscular, right?

AHHAHAHA he is just angry because he is an asian manlet.

All of my asian friends (mostly Koreans) believe milk makes u big and strong

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 07:57:35 2015 No.6557954 File: 213 KB, 641x401, 1416886513900.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556181 >"Dont nigger lip your cola Derek" >"You should marry a girl like that (pointing to waitress), a white one though" Based as fuck

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 08:02:59 2015 No.6557959

Happened about two weeks ago.

>go down home from college to visit dad
>go to chinese buffet as cheat day
>put in booth. ten minutes later an obese couple are seated to the booth behind my dad's side
>chinese are cheap jew cunts, seats aren't good quality
>fat fucker puts ass towards seat, lets gravity do the work from there
>thuds into the back of booth
>repeated thuds as he moves over towards middle of bench
>all this time the booth back is whamming into dad's back, like someone kicking the back of your seat
>can watch the cheap plywood tilting back and forth
>fat fucks get up a few minutes later to get three plates each, bring back to table
>repeat fat fuck getting into seat
>dad fed up, rallies 225 lbs of muscle and whams into the seat
>goes quiet
>fat fuck pokes his head out and apologizes
>dad is pissy, "yeah, all right."
>fatty in a huff, says he didn't realize the seat was moving (which would be hard to miss) and no need to be rude
>dad says he doesn't appreciate being kicked in the back, or whatever, still pissy
>fat fuck stands up, comes around the bench where he can see our table like he's about to fight
>sees dad
>backs the fuck down
>asian waiter watching in concerned silence
>fat fucks move to other side of restaurant

On the one hand, my dad's a rude cunt. On the other, god do I hate fatties.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 08:50:59 2015 No.6558019

I refuse to go out with my parents these days. I stopped when I was a teenager, even if it meant missing out on fun or free things because without a doubt these things happen when my immediate family is together

>won't stop complaining about niggers/mexicans/a-rabs/fat people/white people(we're white, both my parents and older brother are fat)
>if something goes wrong, it's always Obama's fault
>brother wont shut the fuck up about LARPing, how badass is he in Fallout or some other RPG
>mom almost always makes an excuse to get all huffy with the waiter if something isn't perfect and every time i have to practically hold her back. i always stay behind a little to apologize to the waiter/waitress and tip them better for my mom being a cunt
>everyone complaining loudly about the food, how they won't pay for it(but order more and more to stuff their faces and pay for it anyway)
>brothers TALK VERY LOUD
>all while my sister and I hide our faces in shame, or just walk the fuck out

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:06:21 2015 No.6558033

I think Midwest hospitality and friendliness have a big part in restaurant etiquette. For instance, I've never been given bad service if I've complained at a restaurant if the food is bad. People here are generally nicer to each other and restaurants understand that customers come not only for food but a good environment to feel comfortable in as well

I'm an American born Chinese, and my parents are from Taiwan. They are some of the most chill people to go to restaurants with. My mom somehow turned into a liberal hippy since she's been in the states and has somehow taken up the notion that niggers and spics are equal to us, so she'll never attribute anything they do wrong to their entire race being useless, and my dad's English isn't that great so he and I will talk all the shit we want in Chinese about the patrons

I remember this one time we went to pizza Hut, and our waitress was this college age girl fresh outta training. She clearly still had trouble with the menu and staying organized. We only ordered water, and it took her like 15 min to come back with them and take our food order, the entire time she was apologizing and saying she was new. The table next to us though didn't have such a kind demeanor and chewed her ass out for forgetting things they had ordered. She eventually broke down into tears in the corner. My parents noticed this, and when she came back with out pizzas my mom told her that it wasn't a big deal and that everyone is new at something at one point.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:12:48 2015 No.6558035 >>6557931 No

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:15:29 2015 No.6558037 >>6557925 You're a fucktard.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 09:26:42 2015 No.6558045
File: 151 KB, 374x363, 512515252.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6558037
>>6557925
I'm gonna take a wild fucking guess and say he's probably not from the states bro. Why would u assume he'd know what our slang means? Ease up God damn

By the way, lay out means you're gonna hit/beat someone up so bad that they can't get up

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 10:59:49 2015 No.6558242

>>6556110
Bear with me, greentexting isn't among my most polished skills.
>When I'm home, our family eats out a lot
>Dad hates asian food because he's a 78 year old man
>Whatever, everyone else likes it
>Makes the same few jokes everytime
>Asks if they have Campbell's vegetable beef for soup
>Asks for dog
>He thinks this is still funny after 30+ times

He also tends to hit on waitresses even if my mom is with us. Still love the bastard though.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:21:47 2015 No.6558303

This was from a friend. He and his family went out to eat and they brought along his 92 year old grandfather. To understand who this man is, he taught his sons that the south had won the civil war. Anyways, they get served by a black waitress. He gets as angry as a 92 year old man can get, it's bad enough that they have to leave.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:33:28 2015 No.6558330 >>6557685 >gud steak with extra ketchup trolling me softly

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:37:13 2015 No.6558336 >>6558033 >chink think he's not inferior to white people sad

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:39:43 2015 No.6558344 >>6558035 fag

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:42:03 2015 No.6558350 >>6558033 Apart from your mum being a crazy hippy your parents sound nice :3

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:48:11 2015 No.6558361 >>6558303 Sounds pretty reasonable, you liberal faggot.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 11:50:06 2015 No.6558365

>>6558361
>being triggered by the existence of niggers is better than being triggered by the existence of mean words

They're both something dumb people do. Liberal, conservative, racist, "tolerant". None of that matters. What matters is your attitude, and whether or not you get buttblasted every time you see something that doesn't line up with your worldview.

Protip: Most people hate others that get in a tizzy over shit that isn't a big deal

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 12:50:24 2015 No.6558509 >>6558303 don't ever tell a story again, you suck at it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 13:10:54 2015 No.6558563 File: 47 KB, 506x316, Sopranos_ep309.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556520 >not Adriana

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 13:41:51 2015 No.6558641 >>6558019 >both my parents and older brother are fat I'd never go outside with my family if they were fat. Way too embarrassing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 13:48:26 2015 No.6558657 >>6558019 All my family is overweight, except me, i'm not even normal, i'm underweight. I feel you

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 13:59:05 2015 No.6558676 >>6556614 >mom refuses to eat inside if theres an outside eating area. I thought I was the only one.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:04:38 2015 No.6558691

>>6558336
>wiped out native civilizations with diseases due to non-bathing and sleeping with animals in closed quarters

>literal cancer to the planet

>"superior" technology borrowed from ancient civilizations, would not have mathematics if Arabs did not safeguard knowledge from lunatic Europeans who wanted to burn all books that contained information passed down from Greeks because of "muh Jesus".

White people, when will they really learn?

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:12:59 2015 No.6558712

More mum embarrassing herself than me, but:
>parents come visit here in the US
>mum wants to try American pizza
>get to pizza place
>ask her what she wants
>she insists on ordering for herself, even though speaks no English, because she's been practising a few weeks to prepare for the trip
>looks through translation ap for the words
>tries to sound it out under her breath
>works up the courage
>orders
>"Owns lies wheat fungus."
>wat
>abu dhabi sand mooli behind the counter looks confused
>talk to her in our lang
>tell her that her Eng is shit, only politely, and that no one understands her, not even me
>insists on trying again
>just repeats the same sentence, but with different stress and tone
>more wat
>ask her what she wants again
>she's red in the face embarrassed as she explains
>tell the guy "she wants 'one slice with mushrooms,' thanks"
>she thought 'one' was pronounced like 'own'
>dictionary mistranslated our word for 'mushroom' as 'fungus.'
>at least she got the C in 'slice' halfway correct
Poor mum.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:20:29 2015 No.6558726

>take great grandmother out for her birthday dinner (99 years old, from a different time)
>Black patron walks by "hey our drinks need to be filled"
>"One moment ma'am I'll get a waitress" - patron
>"What a swell well spoken negro" -great grandmother

Could have been so much worse lol.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:22:07 2015 No.6558731 >>6558712 That's actually very cute. I had no idea what she meant till I finished the text. At least she tried, humiliating none the less.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:24:40 2015 No.6558733 >>6558712 Story is so much better if you imagine her second iteration of "owns lies wheat fungus" with a very harsh German accent.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:28:35 2015 No.6558745
File: 365 KB, 245x200, the english language.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6558712
I'll admit after you explained what she wanted, I can see how her pronunciation is close to what she really wanted to say. Feel bad for anyone that has to learn it as a second language since it's pretty much pic related.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:32:27 2015 No.6558754 >>6558745 Though tough, thorough thought can... You get the point lol.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:33:58 2015 No.6558759

My brother has this odd over-polite way of speaking, especially in English (second language).
>traveling
>ordering at a restaurant
>"hi i take order please"
>"yes would it be at all possible for me to get the chicken i would like that please thank you pip pip cheerio"
>also he has a very strong accent and speaks fast making it impossible for people to actually make out what he's saying

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:38:26 2015 No.6558770 >>6557295 Christ, just the other day I saw some fuckwit do the same thing to some poor waitress at a Thai place.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:41:39 2015 No.6558780
File: 146 KB, 700x2401, BYY3FYN.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6558754
Yeah, that reminds me of this pronunciation poem. Which is also a good reminder that the english language has a lot of silly words that are only ever used to impress college professors or piss off friends when you're playing word games.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:48:13 2015 No.6558796 >>6558780 While every word in that poem should be known to a native speaker, learning them and the differences in speaking is a daunting task to a second language speaker. Learning to read/write is one thing, speaking it is a whole different ball game.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:49:17 2015 No.6558800 >>6556188 >>6556190 you guys never heard of nigger lipping a blunt?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:51:26 2015 No.6558808 >>6557697 What you got against them chainees?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 14:54:49 2015 No.6558817 >>6557678 It was a thinly veiled pussy joke anon

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:11:33 2015 No.6558860

>>6558796
>While every word in that poem should be known to a native speaker

Just read the poem and going to call bullshit on that. The thing contains a couple greek muses and who the hell other than people who major in English/History know crap words like billet, sward, and ague without first having to google them?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:13:32 2015 No.6558867 >>6558860 Maybe I just read a bit more than average. They were all learned with the aid of a dictionary. They're not a part of my everyday vocabulary, but I knew them all.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:21:01 2015 No.6558883 >>6558033 people are just nice to you because they're afraid you'll poison them

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:39:43 2015 No.6558939 >>6557947 >>>/tumblr/

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:45:04 2015 No.6558954 >>6556610 Dude he died during the earthquake

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:49:33 2015 No.6558964 >>6558954 D-did the cd tower fall over and kill him?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:51:10 2015 No.6558968 >>6557319 >14 I'd expect that kind of behavior from a spastic 5 year old.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 15:58:26 2015 No.6558984 >>6557319 >14 >throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler Why didn't you just tell your mom you didn't like the spaghetti? Also if it's a buffet, why didn't you just go and get something else to eat?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 16:26:58 2015 No.6559068 >go to mexican restuarant >live in northern new england, so all the servers are as white as me >I go to school with waitress >Dad asks for "una water, por favor" >"grassy-ass" >"this food is muy bien" >"grassy-ass senorita" >fucking kill me

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 16:33:45 2015 No.6559092 >at Steak and Shake >40 year old waitress asks my 60 year old aunt >what can I get you hun >aunt goes fucking mental >still talks about it. that was 5 years ago

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 17:12:39 2015 No.6559177 File: 52 KB, 298x343, Get a load of this faggot, boys.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558691

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 17:19:10 2015 No.6559194 >>6558691 >Implying we didn't (likely) successfully burn much of the contents of The Library of Alexandria Get on this level.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:08:40 2015 No.6559296 >>6558712 Aww that's kinda nice

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:20:39 2015 No.6559316 >>6559092 I don't get why that bothers people so much. I find it charming.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:28:03 2015 No.6559331
File: 56 KB, 800x804, 1432929328823.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It's kinda funny, not embarrassing but.

>Out at restaurant
>Fat shit across from us, fills up a 2 seater on his own
>While we're ordering little sister very audibly asks why he's so fat
>Hear a gasp and chuckle behind me
>The once lively fat man from that point was very quiet

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:32:45 2015 No.6559340

>>6556110
I had similar, except instead of my dad it was my mother, and instead of just being a shithead she was drunk and a shithead. Spent the entire time introducing me to the same waitress over and over, trying to touch my face, eating with her fingers, and asking me for my number whenever the waitress would show up "because I forgot".

I don't talk to mom anymore.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:37:30 2015 No.6559345 >>6558780 As a Frenchfag, if I tried to read 6 lines aloud, I wouldn't be able to understand myself. Saved, I'll ask /lit/ or /int/ to make vocaroo when I have access to a computer.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:39:20 2015 No.6559351 >>6558726 My friend, "patrons" are not the people working at a restaurant. Patrons are the people eating there.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:41:51 2015 No.6559356 File: 102 KB, 633x623, its tape.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556401

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:51:10 2015 No.6559374 >>6558759 >pip pip cheerio adorable what's his number

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:51:56 2015 No.6559376 >>6557018 Are you sure she's just schizophrenic, or is she just completely unmedicated? My cousin has schizophrenia, he's in prison but when he's on his meds he's apparently extremely calm and rational.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:55:55 2015 No.6559381 File: 59 KB, 919x720, 32410896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558019 Just be glad you didn't turn out fucked up like your family.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 18:56:00 2015 No.6559382 >>6556110 You have to kill your parents

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:03:23 2015 No.6559397 >>6556134 They are overpriced dumplings If I wanted white people dumplings and for it to not only be better and not overpriced I would get perogies

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:07:41 2015 No.6559402 >>6559345 Ah man, if this thread is still up when that happens could you drop a link?

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:11:35 2015 No.6559406

>>6556110
>mom demands we meet for food, pushes it through
>my mom's very ill, has random pains in the evening that are intense
>she feels the pain, my dad and I say we can go another night
>"No, shut up, it's fine, we're going"
>spends the night loudly complaining about food and her pains and getting in fights with my dad

The most recent instance of this was when we met up to celebrate my graduating college. I'm so fucking sick of it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:13:31 2015 No.6559409 File: 161 KB, 1522x914, pip_pip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558860 >Reading is for smart people

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:14:02 2015 No.6559411 File: 6 KB, 450x243, deadalive KISS ASS FOR THE LORD.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6558242 Your dad is 78? How old are you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:17:33 2015 No.6559415 >>6559411 I'm 20. It's a long story.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:23:15 2015 No.6559425 >>6559415 Pls do tell how a nearly 60yo man managed to impregnate a woman (who was how old at the time)? Let's hear about your unlikely existence

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:26:02 2015 No.6559429 >>6559425 Men don't really ever stop producing sperm.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:28:49 2015 No.6559434 >>6559429 YEA but they stop getting boners.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:32:21 2015 No.6559441 >>6559434 You can thumb in a softy, it's fine.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:36:12 2015 No.6559448 >>6559409 >knowing the definition of words that went out of fashion after the 1800s off the top of your head I'm on to you time lord.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:39:56 2015 No.6559456 >>6557296 >ck's favorite form of reply

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 19:45:19 2015 No.6559468 >>6559425 >this is the extent of /ck/'s sex education

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:01:53 2015 No.6559496

>>6559331
That is not funny and very embarrassing.

I don't like fat acceptance kind of people as much as the next guy but if was very quiet after your little sisters comment he probably wasn't just another fat lard as those "muh genetics" whales would have ate your sister if she said something

you are asshole, also you should have hit the little shit of a sister you have

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:03:18 2015 No.6559501 File: 68 KB, 271x288, 1432740382325.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559496

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:24:13 2015 No.6559540 >>6559496 0/10 low quality b8

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:25:18 2015 No.6559546 >>6559434 what is viagra im 23 and my mom had me when she was like 48 thank god im not autistic

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:28:03 2015 No.6559548 >>6559546 Hey bro. Bro. Yo, bro. Bro! Did you know—bro! Listen bro! Did you know that Viagra wasn't invented yet 20 years ago? It's not unbelievable that a 58 year old dude still gets boners.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:31:46 2015 No.6559555 >>6559548 penis pump?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:32:50 2015 No.6559557 >>6559351 You're not the brightest, are you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:33:37 2015 No.6559559 >>6559555 No. Some men never go impotent, believe it or not.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:34:26 2015 No.6559562 >>6559557 a patron is a customer tho

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:34:31 2015 No.6559564 >>6559177 Lel, nice comeback faggot. Want some cheese to go along with that butthurt cracker?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:35:33 2015 No.6559566 >>6559559 huh science, isnt it just crazy

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:38:00 2015 No.6559573 >>6559540 Not the entire world consists of /fitlets

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:38:17 2015 No.6559574 >>6559562 Is it really that hard to believe that a patron (which refers to a regular customer aka someone who goes to that establishment frequently and thus is very familiar with the staff) would do something like that?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:38:41 2015 No.6559575 >>6559562 Grandma spoke to the black customer because she assumed he was serving them. Because he's black. Like a slave. Who serves people. Because she's old.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:40:22 2015 No.6559580 >>6559573 if he was ashamed and not seeking help i.e. eating out then I have no problem bashin em. I wouldnt publicly embarrass anyone, but the words of a child are unfiltered and I would totally laugh at it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:41:04 2015 No.6559581 >>6559574 >>6559562 The grandmother was mistaking the black guy who was just dining there for the waiter, because old people are racist like that. The use of patron is correct. Grandma was just being racist.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:41:11 2015 No.6559583

>>6559562
I think Anon was saying that his Great Gran thought the black guy patron customer person thing worked there because she's old and senile and alzheimersy and in her day, black people didn't eat in the same restaurants as white people.
Kind of implied. You know. Mentioning her age. Mentioning "different time." Her nonchalant use of the word 'negro.' All implies senility.

>>6559557 is right: you're not the brightest.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:43:04 2015 No.6559588 >>6556188 Like when you nigger lip a joint or cigarette and get it all gross and wet as if you had large lips.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:44:22 2015 No.6559590

>>6559575
I get that. The poster just referred to the black customer as a patron which isnt necessarily wrong.

>>6559574
the dude who initially responded to the post was being retarded but his comments werent wrong in themselves, just that he misinterpreted the initial post

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:51:05 2015 No.6559600 >>6559590 Stop posting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:52:46 2015 No.6559602 File: 389 KB, 605x645, Screenshot from 2015-04-29 11:44:05.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559600 fuck you Ill do what I want 4chan is plenty shitty and I dont care if I contribute sometimes

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 20:59:28 2015 No.6559612

>be mexican american, female
>kinda cute if I say so myself
>waiting/bartending in a yuppy white city
>good money
>weekends brunch, parents come in
>jewish and italians are big here in the neighborhood btw
>bring along their older kids around my age
>parents always try to guess my ethnicity
>lol promise it's not complicated
>i just seem more exotic cause there's no mexicans up here
>try to set me up with their kids
>just all around awkwardly racist/embarrassing
>see the kids getting embarrassed
>awe
>sometimes I try to up it
>so I can get some extra guilt tip

I've seen the kids throw down some extra fives and say sorry about their parents. It's hilarious.

Unless your mom/dad is stalking me around my tables or vomiting he's not gonna be the worst shit that happened that month.

>>6556110
If I heard this a lot or really obnoxious I'd make some joke about your dad being your pimp. Worst case he takes offense and then has to explain to the manager why I'd even make such a joke (though usually I'd tell the manager first and he'd laugh) or best case he thinks I'm hilarious, further embarrasses you, and gives me a larger tip.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:04:24 2015 No.6559624 >>6559425 My mom was early 30's and desperate. Also, I have siblings from my dad's first marriage. My older brother went to high school with my friends parents.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:06:49 2015 No.6559625 >>6559612 Do you have a nice butt? My tip is entirely dependent on whether your voice is annoying or not and whether you have a nice butt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:12:36 2015 No.6559639 >>6559434 Yea when they are over 70, at 60 most people can fuck just fine

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:16:39 2015 No.6559654 >>6559625 That's how I consider how much to tip, too. A nice bulge helps, too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:17:42 2015 No.6559661 L O N D O N O N D O N

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:21:20 2015 No.6559677

>>6558691
White people invented the computers youre using, the cable and ethernet lines you are using, and the keyboard you are typing on. Its all because of those safeguarded mathmatics though right? Oh where would white people be without those safeguarded mathmatics! We never would have figured it out. And magically only white people wound up on top. I guess we horded all the maths to ourselves and told Africans they couldnt have it anymore. Probably something to do with muh jesus. Typical white people. One time I even got vaccinated against a bunch of Gold Rush era diseases...a white guy made those vaccines. Someone should have told him to check his privledge and how the only reason he was a scientist and a doctor was because of safeguarded mathmatics. Half of us could have been killed by measles or yellow fever by now that son of a bitch white bastard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:24:43 2015 No.6559688 >>6559677 Calm down Brandon lol

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:32:10 2015 No.6559719 >>6557174 It's not nice. Having memories of a normal childhood and being a normal person is fucking torture.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:37:59 2015 No.6559741 >>6559564 The only butthurt one here is you, my friend.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:38:54 2015 No.6559743 >>6559625 Ya know I have a theory that part of why I can get such great tips is because of my decent butt/small waist + white folks up here having low standards for butts. So yeah I got a nice butt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:40:51 2015 No.6559749 >>6559743 Let me get those measurements.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:43:06 2015 No.6559756 >>6559425 When I was in fifth grade, I had a classmate with a 63 year old dad. It's not like men go through menopause.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:47:11 2015 No.6559766 >>6559756 > It's not like men go through menopause. Well... no... because men don't have menses. However: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andropause

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:49:39 2015 No.6559775 >>6559766 >links to a wiki article that starts of with "this may or may not be a real thing"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:52:58 2015 No.6559788 >>6559775 You know when you're butthurt you don't have to reply and make that fact know, right?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 21:57:02 2015 No.6559794 >>6559788 >implying I could be butthurt over a malady that only affects betas

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:02:31 2015 No.6559804 >>6559794 >I'm not butthurt >But I'm going to keep posting about how butthurt I am just to prove it That's alright anon, just let it all out. I know that anon rustled your jimmies good.

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:04:14 2015 No.6559807

>>6559775
You fail to understand the article. The article acknowledges that a menopause-like thing does indeed happen to men as they age but that there is no standardised definition of it and its effects as of yet.
It's not like something just doesn't exist until it has a clear definition. People, apples, petticoats and water weren't just floating about free-form and willy-nilly until Newton had his say.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:06:34 2015 No.6559811 >>6559804 I didn't mean to rustle his jimmies. I learnt of andropause last year or so whilst wikidrifting and thought that Anon might have been interested to read about it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:07:22 2015 No.6559813 >>6557296 >Not even denying she was crazy Women. Not even once.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:09:17 2015 No.6559815 >>6559811 Some anons just get crazy upset when presented with new things going on in science or wikipedia entries. You just happened to post the right combination.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:23:09 2015 No.6559848 >>6559376 All of those events happened over a long period of time. She normally isn't that crazy. The most she will do on a regular basis is laugh a lot for no reason or talk to herself. She rarely goes crazy like that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 22:54:02 2015 No.6559913 >>6557309 He's right about your faggotry tho Why is reddit such cancer holy shit

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:14:36 2015 No.6559949 File: 26 KB, 400x306, 1432968144274.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >you're butthurt! >n-no you are! >[damage control intensifies]

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:20:35 2015 No.6559966 >>6559624 Are you Chris Chandler?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:25:15 2015 No.6559980 >>6558045 Or, you know, jokes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:27:17 2015 No.6559987 >>6557934 The racism here.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:28:34 2015 No.6559992 >>6558691 >Chink lives in white country >complains about whites Move back to Taiwan you slanty eyed wall biter Oh wait, without white people, Taiwan would be subjugated by China

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:35:51 2015 No.6560000 >>6559992 So much butthurt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:39:31 2015 No.6560016 File: 159 KB, 500x407, magical man in the sky can you tell me why.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6559949 >shitposts after the shitposting is finally starting to calm down For what purpose?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:41:35 2015 No.6560024 >>6560000 Of course I'm mad. Piss skins flood the country and have the nerve to bitch about it. Everywhere I look now I see either a weak, beta yellow monkey man or one of their ugly slut women walking around arm-in-arm with a white or Mexican

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:41:48 2015 No.6560026 >>6560016 /r/ing rule 34 on that cutie

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:42:48 2015 No.6560031 >>6560000 WA LA A L A

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:49:58 2015 No.6560050 >>6557959 Man your Dad is a hero

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:50:12 2015 No.6560051
File: 82 KB, 625x1252, 1379839556143.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6558691
>>6559992
>>6560000
>tfw you leave for a few hours and someone else has hijacked your post and started answering for you

Who are you and why are you trying to ruin my life??

>>6559992
>move back to Taiwan

lmao what do you mean back? I was born and raised in the states. I did boy scouts when i was younger. I got suspended from high school for a week for drinking at a football game. I'm going to a university and paying for massive student loans

I'm more American than you boy, I've got red white and blue running through my veins. That other guy pretending/posting on my behalf talking shit about white people isn't me, and I don't agree with him. I like white people, you guys have always been straight in my book and have built this country into a great/shitty place, but it's my place too bro

Also you seem to have Taiwan and mainland China/the rest of Asia confused.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:51:29 2015 No.6560057 >>6560016 LONDON O N D O N

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:52:29 2015 No.6560061 SCRATCH

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:57:48 2015 No.6560078 A N D JUST FOR YOU U S T F O R Y O U

Anonymous Mon Jun 1 23:59:03 2015 No.6560080

>>6558712
Adorable. I love working with customers that struggle with english, because I try to go above and beyond to get them what they want so they don't feel strained or unhappy, and their looks of relief are always so rewarding. :)

Especially the women from Africa that wear the scarves and big dresses. I always want to hug them because they seem so motherly and pained.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:00:26 2015 No.6560083 >>6560080 >pained Being a single mother is tough.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:00:59 2015 No.6560085
File: 23 KB, 479x358, tumblr_lx32efJ4De1r98lc6o1_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Out to dinner with grandmother
>She gets her meal with some french fries
>French fries come decently warm, but obviously not freshly hot
>"This is absurd"
>Waitress comes back
>"How's everyone doing over here"
>"I want you to hold this french fry"
>"I-I don't underst-"
>"If you want a tip, hold this french fry. Does this feel hot to you?"

It was embarrassing at the time but now I think it was funny as fuck

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:05:31 2015 No.6560098

>>6557827
>Indians
>9/11

Honestly I love how the newest generation or Americans does not give one fuck about 9/11, or Pearl Harbor. The next generation of Americans probably won't even know it happened, despite it being hammered into all of our media always.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:16:29 2015 No.6560124

>>6560098
I love it too.

I was in third grade when it happened. I barely gave a shit then, and I barely give a shit now. It's about time all this dumb "remember 9/11, never forget!" "Drive with your lights on (wasting fuel) to commemorate those lost and show we'll never forget this day". All the media blah blah. The body count wasn't even that high, most people won't have had a connection to anyone who died, and when you play it like we do, shit happens. Shit happens anyway.

It obviously had a degree of inside assistance as well. About time this nationalist bullshit and a delusion of inherent right to live because you live in the first world, got put in perspective. Hard.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:36:04 2015 No.6560181

>>6557298
Something similar happened to me at a seafood place and my aunt. I told her
>"You really fucked me because now I can't go to my favorite restaurant."
>"EXCUSE ME?! I WILL TELL YOUR MOTHER.."
>"That you're a cunt? I hate going anywhere with you."

I was an angsty high schooler at the time, but it was enough for her to quit her shit.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:38:35 2015 No.6560186
File: 22 KB, 500x466, 1305307094686.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My asshole female cousin
>Out to dinner with extended family
>Waiter is a classmate of mine in college
>Mention that after we've ordered and he's left
>He comes back with drinks
>Out of nowhere "Wow, you're right Anon, he IS kind of cute"

Sceak !!FlI3r5Jp/MX Tue Jun 2 00:41:47 2015 No.6560192

>>6556110

Next time you should say "Dad, you're my father, not my wingman. Besides, if you want to fuck her, fuck her. I'm gay. Alton and I have been seeing each other for several seasons now, and we think that even with his age difference, we should try to enter the next step."

That'll cure him.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:43:14 2015 No.6560197

>Go out to restaurant with family
>Dad is drunk
>Tries to pick a fight with a guy because he was Brazilian but didn't play soccer (he was Korean...)
>Heads towards the bathroom, there is a picture of an alien on the door
>"I found one" he yells, punches the door
>Mum just walks out
I don't remember what we ate, even if we ate.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:46:20 2015 No.6560205

>>6556898
I have schizophrenia too, and I also suffer an intense, unwarranted hatred of people.
I hate telling my therapist about it, because I think she thinks I'm being some edgelord, but it's just inexplicable for me.
At least you can take your sister out, though. I can barely stomach getting past my own front door, and the dozens of locks I have on it.

Did your sister get diagnosed with a subtype of schizophrenia too?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:46:43 2015 No.6560207 >>6559612 >Being a cunt for tips WHAT A CATCH

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:48:01 2015 No.6560210 >>6560124 Nigger car lights don't run off of gasoline, do you even fucking know how combustion engines work?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:48:58 2015 No.6560212 >>6560186 You can't call your cousin an asshole just because she's stealing your weird homocrushes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:49:45 2015 No.6560214 >>6560210 The alternator uses fuel to charge the battery.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:50:22 2015 No.6560218

>>6560124

>delusion of inherent right to live because you live in the first world

When has this been a thing? I don't think anybody thinks this. People may assume some sort of "right to live" for humans but I've never heard anyone phrase this in terms of being first world exclusive. Rather, people tend to assume that America has the privilege of being immune to such bold assaults, and to some extent the assumption is justified in that the bulk of the country is quite geographically separated from potential aggressors. But clearly, shit can happen.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:50:56 2015 No.6560219

>>6560210
What do you think charges the battery?

Try this. Get a crank capable of generating current. Crank it. Hook that to a battery, try to crank it again. It's more difficult. If the battery is near fully charged however, it gets easier.

That electricity doesn't come from nowhere.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 00:58:35 2015 No.6560237

>>6560218
>When has this been a thing?
Likely the dawn of human civilization. Part of it, like you said, is a perception of safety via being part of a powerful empire, but this translates to being safe because you're part of the first world. But not just the first world, oh no, you're part of America. Born with a right to survive and be kept alive, be protected.

You're part of the human race, you are part of the race that pretends to exempt itself from natural law. The species that is able to manipulate, dominate, and ravage everything and anything it pleases, seemingly whether it actually wants to or not.

It's fucked. I see it constantly, people find themselves in some abstract system and suck up all the delusion they can. A city near where I live, pedestrians crossing the roads have the right of way. So naturally, what do you think happens? People will walk out in traffic without even looking. Whether the vehicle is going 3 or 30, natural laws are clearly not at work here. The law will protect me blah blah blah.

Fuck this broken species of our's. Can't even form a legitimate and realistic framework of reality. They aren't fit to survive the real world beyond their own tiny little manicured ecology, and it disgusts me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:02:38 2015 No.6560246 >>6560237 >they How can we be more like you, oh ubermensch?

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:09:19 2015 No.6560254

>>6560246
I would say part of me has transcended morality, but I wouldn't exactly compare myself to the ubermensch.

There are a lot of ways people are flawed, and a lot of reasons for it. Honesty and listening would be a start. I hope they get there though, because it seems I'm not like any of you. I don't know if I ever was, but I do know I'm very lonely and every bit as broke as anyone else.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:11:30 2015 No.6560260 >>6560237 >Being this edgy Go live in the woods then you faggot.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:14:23 2015 No.6560265

>>6560260
This statement shows you haven't thought through much about the world around you, or yourself. The existence of society bars such things.

Try living without paying taxes, without owning property, and while crowded in and unable to really scavenge for resources. Tell me how far you get. You seem to see through the eyes of a child.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:18:47 2015 No.6560269

>>6559749
>this thirsty

what are you gonna do? masturbate over some numbers?

anyway bored so gonna say this story about funny racist white folks

>so place I worked at closing
>start at new restaurant
>oh wow it's mexican food
>like real shit in this white area
>owner mexican, his wife fresh from the border cooking it up
>looking for a waitress to pay under that table
>because they got put in the newspapers and are stupid busy
>but don't have that tax/paper shit together yet
>damn good tips, I get to collect all, plus 5/hr no taxes
>hell yeah
>lol people think I'm their daughter cause mexicans look alike
>white folks come in
>never having had proper mexican food
>the few vegan/vegatarians wondering why we have to use pork fat for beans
>constantly explaining meals despite the english explanation right there
>and up selling the mexican cokes
>every damn day working there
>someone old white folks come in
>and speak slowly and loudly in broken spanish
>I speak fluent english
>stop this
>the few mojados working in the area also stop by
>kinda hate them cause they're pervs
>and think a couple bucks is the greatest tips and I should be giving dances for that
>but I still serve them different
>cause any mexican eats more tortillas/chile than average white person
>some old white costumers bitch about it
>how I'll bring them out extra tortillas and chili without asking but won't do them
>dat discrimination
>"k I'll do it for you too"
>oh wow look at all this left over tortilla and chili you didn't even touch
>some parents bring in their kids
>trying to teach them spanish through immersion I guess
>demanding I speak only spanish and slowly at that to the kids
>and they take up hours just sitting and talking while I'm busy and we're packed
>kids are obviously embarrassed too
>finally "look, if you want a spanish tutor that is extra and not here"
>white lady actually bought that
>got a side summer job babysitting the brats
>and all I had to do was not speak english
>neat

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:22:26 2015 No.6560275

>this one italian guy
>always
>every fucking time
>tried to get me to marry one of his sons/nephew/cousin
>we didn't server alcohol
>but you could bring your own beer/wine
>and each time one of his sons would come
>they'd leave me a whole bottle
>sometimes tequila funny enough
>usually wine
>and sometimes because they thought the owner was my dad
>they'd bring things for the restaurant
>like fresh meats and restaurant supplies
>owner just made jokes
>we'd keep the wines in the back
>drink that shit after
>and he'd make direct racist remarks back acting like he was my dad
>"you could bring me a damn goat and I still wouldn't let a daughter marry a guido
>your family is too dark, darker than us. go to hell
>you'd dirty the pool" and such
>but then it'd just go back and forth
>italian dude making racist jokes against mexicans
>but trying to keep it only against mexican men
>and be nice to women/me
>so I guess I'd still marry his son
>and his sons were just super embarrassed
>but that guy would still come back

>>6560207
hey it works more often than not. Most people just want you to do the job quick and be out of the way fine enough. But those that like to interact with the wait staff seem to prefer a little more cheek and less kiss ass. Guess it feels more sincere. Hell there's popular restaurants that make it off that gimmick alone of all the serving staff just being cunts.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 01:29:43 2015 No.6560296 >>6560269 I just want to know if she has a nice waist-hip ratio. That'll tell me whether her butt has a good chance of being aesthetically pleasing, thereby answering my initial question.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 02:02:41 2015 No.6560370 >>6557123 It's my fucking drink, fuck the fuck off.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 02:27:49 2015 No.6560426

>>6560024

Take it easy white amerburgerican, you'll give yourself a stroke letting your racism spew out of fat greasy mouth.

Chinese people, along with the Irish constituted the workforce that were faced with the hard and dangerous task of building the railroads that made the western half of this country possible. Filipinos, Japanese, and Latin Americans worked as migratory farm workers that built up California's agricultural economy that helped boost this country overall economic output, pre and post WWII.

Despite your people's racism and bigotry, these people even fought in this country's wars because they loved it so much. The Japanese Americans, while their families were in internment camps, fought in Italy and France during WWII.

Oh yeah let's not about forget those niggers, who literally helped build "your" country with their blood, sweat and tears.

The "nerve" of these people to bitch right? So ungrateful to the omnipotent white man who built everything meaningful in humanity's history.

Everything's cyclical guero, you honkeys have had your time in the sun, by 2050 you'll be a statiscal minority in the United States of Burgerland. Don't believe me, look up the projected census numbers, enjoy it while it lasts.

Oh yeah, fuck you. I'll especially enjoy cumming inside my white Midwestern girlfriend next time we have sex.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 02:29:49 2015 No.6560432 >>6560426 >shitskin rambling don't care, won't read

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 02:47:42 2015 No.6560465

>>6560432
>calling others shitskin, can't even last longer than 15 minutes in the hot sun without turning red as a fucking tomato and getting skin cancer and shit.

Oh am I laffin. Of course you won't read it, all them big words are to much for you to comprehend isn't it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 03:57:11 2015 No.6560617 >>6557895 Be careful what you wish for.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 04:39:37 2015 No.6560685
File: 1.67 MB, 3264x2448, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Thankfully I've only had my mother embarrass me one time by yelling at my little sister like a psycho one time when I was young. But unfortunately my girlfriend has a father that will embarrass you every time he goes in public period. He will always, and I mean always, ear rape anyone in his "blast radius" which means:

>waiter comes up to table
>he has the slightest similarity to any Cleveland Indians baseball player now or in history or has something that shows their from Ohio (the color red can even do it)
>agh are you an Indians fan?
>oh boy my friend burba uses to pitch for them

BLAH BLAH BLAH and with every drink refill will be another story closer to how he played baseball and if you're lucky, about how he used to play it in Salem Ohio.

I don't go out anywhere with him anymore. He can be walking his fucking dog and do it to someone walking theirs. Is this a disability?

Pic related. It's him and my gf

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 05:44:59 2015 No.6560755

>>6560685
Maybe it's a Cleveland thing? My gf's dad is from Cleveland and he's loud as fuck in public too.

Whenever we're eating out, I've learned not to start conversations that could lead to something embarrassing that others can overhear.

Btw, was your gf's dad talking about Dave Burba, I think he was from Ohio? I used to watch him pitch for the SF Giants when I was kid. I think he even came back here to finish his career.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 06:27:06 2015 No.6560784

>>6560192
Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of 4chan are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bit to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 07:18:52 2015 No.6560856 >>6558780 There's actually already videos on youtube of people reading this aloud flawlessly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1edPxKqiptw

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 07:44:51 2015 No.6560891 >>6560205 pic of door plz

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 09:44:09 2015 No.6561073 >>6559546 I believe autism comes from the degraded sperm of an older father. Down syndrome comes from old women. At least with Down syndrome you can at least see they have a disorder and they don't always act like spastic autistic assholes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 10:03:47 2015 No.6561114 >>6559448 If you choose to be a peasant and express yourself with only Quintessential words then that's your choice, not everyone is so unread and banal minded.

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 10:10:07 2015 No.6561119

Not food related but pretty spooky.
>last summer in Cornwall
>moslem dad
>convince him to go to the witchcraft museum
Everything is fine there until....
>baphomet statue
He goes up to it and loudly starts praying allahuakbarrrrrrr etc
>Walk out and wait for 30 mins till everyone comes out

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 10:21:21 2015 No.6561130 >>6556181 This is the kind of grandpa I want to be

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 10:31:46 2015 No.6561144 >>6561119 >muslim prays in front of baphomet statue can you explain this to an uncultured idiot like me? >>6561114 0/10

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 11:03:10 2015 No.6561196 File: 15 KB, 333x333, 1358109089255.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6557295 This happened to me once, fuck >went to hibachi grill for 17th birthday >waitress comes up >we order our things to be grilled >asks me >"rice or noodles?" >"yes"

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:28:01 2015 No.6561416 File: 39 KB, 600x750, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6556761 I tip my fedora to you m'lady.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:48:19 2015 No.6561446 >>6560085 Is your grandma gordan ramsay

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 13:59:41 2015 No.6561472 >this is what eating w my aunt is like >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waQafdIVfR4

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 14:02:04 2015 No.6561475 >>6556236 >be me > retardation in family Reddit is showing on you anon

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 14:33:22 2015 No.6561522
File: 6 KB, 240x211, 1432823989604.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>take dad to my favorite chinese restaurant
>I'm a regular, they know me
>it's pretty quiet, only one other table and owner, waitress and manager hanging out
>dad talks loud
>telling story about his friend visiting china
>his friend refuses to drink the water for fear of getting sick
>only drinks bottled water, but pours it on ice
>friend gets sick as hell because
>"THERE'S BACTERIA IN THE CHINESE ICE"
>heads turn
>mfw

Anonymous Tue Jun 2 15:00:16 2015 No.6561572
File: 143 KB, 640x1136, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>6560755
Yeah. He's best friends with him. That's his claim to fame. He will gladly tell you that at any opportunity.

>Mfw the cavaliers are going to the finals

Yes mr Hess, I know. You're all in.

i took burbas number out of his phone. Wonder if I should call him someday.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 17:07:35 2015 No.6561942 File: 85 KB, 400x400, oh u.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6560784

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 18:18:08 2015 No.6562144 >>6559345 http://vocaroo.com/i/s0QS9gWDYqf1 Didn't know all the words, too lazy to look them up. Too lazy to re-record it perfectly

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 18:20:42 2015 No.6562154 >>6559409 http://vocaroo.com/i/s1QwOijVdofl

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 2 20:03:37 2015 No.6562411 File: 3 KB, 89x125, 1405708735584s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>6562154 ?

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]

/ck/ - Food & Cooking