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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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File: 47 KB, 459x457, 052709-hamburger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382017 No.6382017 [Reply] [Original]

What does your perfect burger consist of? I'm very interested in trying new combinations.

Mine top to bottom:

Brioche Bun
Bearnaise
Thin-sliced Raw Onion
Frisee leaves
Bacon
Hamburger (ground from oxtail and chuck if possible)
Cornichon
Bearnaise
Brioche Bun

>> No.6382024
File: 57 KB, 175x644, captn_sleepys_quintessential_habanero_hot_sauce.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382024

>>6382017
Pic related is great in burgers, mix it in before cooking. The problem is finding it now, the guy who made it retired I think, I called him up and asked him, dude, where's the Cptn. Sleepy's? He made his money and got out.

If you can find it it's really good.

>> No.6382030

>>6382017
Wanna know how I know you don't cook often?

You ordered it top to bottom.

Mine bottom to top:
Bun
Spicy Brown Mustard
Lettuce
Burger
Caramelized Onions
Colby
Bun

>> No.6382037

potato ciabatta roll, toasted in butter
thick cut bacon
a1 pepper sauce
fried onion strings
melted pepper jack
burger (shortribs ground fresh)
more pepper sauce
toasted bottom bun

fries with parmesan and garlic salt

god grant me mercy

>> No.6382038

>>6382030
Fucking dumb.

Lettuce is always on the very bottom as it soaks up grease and keeps the bun from getting soggy. Tomato goes on top of the meat for similar reasons. Rest is fluid.

>> No.6382041

>>6382017
>What does your perfect burger consist of?
Burger meat blend has to have some short rib in it
Quality bun, toasted
Small amount of creamy bleu cheese melted on burger
Raw red onion

Cook the burger medium and nothing else is required.

>> No.6382044

>>6382038
lettuce doesn't soak up grease you retard, bread does.

>> No.6382073

>>6382038
>lettuce
>soaking up grease
uwot?

Also, considering mustard tends to roll off something that's already moist (ie: lettuce, burger, melted cheese, caramelized onions), it only makes sense to apply it to the bun. You're not going to make your bun soggy by putting mustard on it.

>> No.6382084

Bun
Mornay
Arugula
Duxelles
Beef
Bun

>> No.6382108

The perfect burger must fit in my mouth to begin with, unlike 90% of those I see here and elsewhere...

>> No.6382144

>>6382044

soak up was the wrong choice of words.
block is a better choice. the idea is that the lettuce stops the juices from soaking into the bread and making it soggy.

>> No.6382152

>>6382030
How does writing it top to bottom show that you don't cook often?

It's easier to visualize when the text is stacked like the ingredients.

>> No.6382162

>>6382152
It's not the order it's assembled. It doesn't make sense. It's backwards.

No, it isn't easier to visualize. It's significantly more difficult.

>> No.6382163

>>6382073
No, not when you apply ketchup, mustard and pickle to the bun. It'll get a little soggy, usually you put lettuce on the bottom because the cellulose will repel fluids

>> No.6382171

>>6382162
It's written like in the OP image. What's so hard about that?

Again, how does that show how often one cooks? You are making a problem where there isn't one in order to feed your superiority complex. It's all in your head.

Yes, it's not the order it is assembled. It's how it's stacked. I don't understand what you are getting worked up over.

>> No.6382185

>>6382162
>It's significantly more difficult.

I think there might be something wrong with your brain.

>> No.6382191

>>6382163
>>6382163
Why would it get soggy? Are you forgetting t shake your bottles first?

>>6382171
Images are not the same as text.
>how does that show how often one cooks?
How are recipes written? Are they written end to beginning? Because that's exactly what you're doing when you write out your burger ingredients top to bottom.

>>6382185
I never said I can't, fuckhead. I CAN dice an onion in 30 seconds using my left hand. It's significantly more difficult than using my right hand, though.

>> No.6382197

>>6382191
oh wow

You seriously need to chill out.

>> No.6382201

>>6382191
You clearly never went to sandwich making 101

>> No.6382204

>>6382197
>gets insulted on the internet
>insults back
>woah man chill out
Okay, whatever. Suck a cock, maybe that will keep your buns from getting soggy.

>>6382201
>assembles his sandwiches top to bottom
>can't into gravity

>> No.6382207

>>6382191
But I'm not writing a recipe. I'm writing the stack of a burger. I've been cooking professionally every day for years, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing in a kitchen.

You might need to reassess what to get worked up about in your life. It's just a textual visualization of a burger stack.

>> No.6382211

>>6382191
>I never said I can't, fuckhead

I never said you couldn't either. My point was that something is very wrong if you find it "significantly" more difficult. A minor annoyance I can see. Not being your preference I can see. But "significantly difficult"? Hell no.

>> No.6382215

>>6382204
You're the only one insulting people here. And shouting. I can hear it.

>> No.6382216
File: 448 KB, 3840x2160, 1368953374056.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382216

>>6382191
That's some pretty impressive autism.

>> No.6382221

>>6382204
But it's not the order of assembly. What is so hard about that?

>> No.6382225

>>6382017
>beer bread bun with smoked mozz on top toasted til cheese sets
>sauce from reduced drippings, red wine, Worcestershire, chopped apricots and figs
>jerky seasoned ground venison
>homemade mayo with squirt of lemon juice
>toasted bottom bun

>> No.6382230
File: 2.53 MB, 4628x2612, WP_20140601_18_31_52_Pro__highres.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382230

I made pic related a while ago.

Whole-Wheat bun
Bearnaise
Sliced shallot
Elderflower pickles
Iceberg lettuce
Bacon
Medium-Fried patty of chuck and short-rib
Bearnaise
Mustard
Bun

>>6382225
Sounds pretty great. Might consider this with the venison I have in my freezer. Doesn't it get gritty with so little fat? Do you grind pork fat or bone marrow into it? Or is it just lean?

>> No.6382231

>>6382221
>What is so hard about that?

nothing. What makes you think it matters?

>> No.6382236

>>6382207
It is a recipe, though. An incredibly simple one with missing steps, of course, but it's still a recipe.

>>6382211
Is it or is it not significantly more difficult to read text in a mirror? You're reading it backwards. Therefore the change is significant. Fucking idiot.

>>6382215
>I think there might be something wrong with your brain
This is an insult, nigger licker.

>>6382216
>huehue hes mad on the internet
>better use le ebin autism may may
If you think I talk like this in real life, you're the most retarded person on the internet. I'm typing on the food and cooking board of the asshole of the internet.

>>6382221
It ought to be. It's far more logical than your artsy fartsy word pictures.

>> No.6382239
File: 108 KB, 400x400, 1351596695254.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382239

>>6382236
did my epin autism maymay hurt your feelings?

>> No.6382241

>>6382236
I hope you realize what you are doing. Doesn't have to be now, but I hope you understand what it is you are doing at some point.

>> No.6382242

>>6382236
>artsy fartsy word pictures

Oh jeez...

>> No.6382243

>>6382230
>venison
I grind some smoked bacon into the mix
;^)

>> No.6382246
File: 72 KB, 585x1040, 20150403085109.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382246

Here's one I made a while ago. Still working on it, taking suggestions.

Top (kek) bun
Tiny onion rings
Mayo
Tomato slices, de-seeded
Bacon
Emmental cheese (aka swiss in murrica)
Chicken patty (call the cops I like them)
Shredded iceberg lettuce
Bottom bun

>>6382230
Goddamn that bun looks delicious. Got a recipe to share?

>> No.6382247

>>6382239
Of course not. Why would what some jackass on the internet think hurt my feelings? I just wanted to come here and tell you that you're wrong and that I wouldn't trust OP with a butter knife.

>>6382241
I'm having an internet argument ~noon on my lunch break. So what?

>>6382242
So it isn't a word picture? What is it, then, faggot?

>> No.6382248
File: 64 KB, 434x618, 1398163731976.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382248

>>6382236
Like it or not, this image is you.

Call it a meme, or whatever, but it's you.

>> No.6382250

>>6382243
Alternatively you can make a venison loaf and cook it low and slow like a gyro/swarma and its that much more amazing

>> No.6382251

>>6382017
>tomato
>ketchup

Pick one.

>> No.6382254

>>6382248
No, I'm me. That image is a reaction picture.

And OP is a faggot.

>>6382250
This. I've never had a good venison burger, but venison shawarma is great.

>> No.6382256

>>6382246
Sorry no recipe. As far as I can recall, I just winged it. You know, standard water-to-flour ratio, good amount of salt, little yeast, 16-hour fermentation, 220c oven for around 25 minutes.

>>6382251
Why?

>>6382243
Oh alright. I like using bone marrow.

>> No.6382260

>>6382254
OP's burger is better than yours. And you don't even know how to make bearnaise.

>> No.6382266

>>6382247
>wouldn't trust OP with a butter knife

I don't need the trust of hicks.

>> No.6382268
File: 52 KB, 120x120, 1408035436316.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382268

>>6382247
If your autism were edible it'd be big enough to feed Africa.

>> No.6382270

>>6382256
Alright. I'll eventually git gud enough at making bread to be able to wing that kind of stuff.

>> No.6382274

>>6382260
You mean meme mayo? Yeah, I know how to emulsify clarified butter in egg yolk. It's not fucking rocket science.
>OP's burger is better than yours.
>meme bread
>meme mayo
>onion
>meme lettuce
>the dankest of all meme food: bacon
>oxtail burger? lol, super meme
>meme pickles
>meme bread
Mmm, so fucking good. Since when did a burger have to be complicated and packed with ingredients? OP's burger is like the Star Wars prequels of sandwiches
>It's just so dense

>>6382268
>autism meme again
Keep saying autism. Maybe it'll make you feel better about living in your parents' basement, making $50/month selling other people's shit on ebay.

>> No.6382279
File: 2 KB, 120x117, 1334892061219.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382279

>>6382274
Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify your butt implosion.

>> No.6382282

>>6382279
>implying butt implosions even bother me

>> No.6382294

>>6382282
You were bothered by a guy's ingredient posting order, so I'd take a €100 bet that your rectal ravaging does indeed bother you.

Have fun rearranging words to calm your senses, wifey's calling me for dinner.

>> No.6382303

>>6382294
>dinner
ah, eurocuck, it all makes sense now

>> No.6382353

>>6382017
That's too much shit

>burger cooked so long it's crispy
>slice of cheese
>kaiser roll

that's my favorite. Sometimes I'll do grilled onions and lettuce on it as well.

>> No.6382415

>>6382236
>Is it or is it not significantly more difficult to read text in a mirror?

No, it is not significantly more difficult. It's a minor annoyance at best.

>This is an insult
No, I legitimately think there might be something abnormal with your brain. It wasn't an insult, it was the cold hard truth.

If I wanted to insult you I'd call you a needle-dicked bugfucker, or a
cockholster, or an asshat, or something like that. But I didn't call you those things.

It is my honest opinion that there may well be something wrong with your brain. If you'd like me to be more specific, I can be. It's one of two things: One of them is that you seem to find the ordering of ingredients to be "significantly" challenging. It ought to be a minor inconvenience at best. I'm concerned you think it's a "significant" difference. The other possibility is that you don't actually find it to be that challenging, you just use words incorrectly. Oh and perhaps I'm a being a bit closed-minded here and the answer is actually both of those problems.

>> No.6382422

>>6382415
>No, it is not significantly more difficult
Now you're just being contrary to be contrary. You're not a super special >9000 IQ class 10 wizard. Most people have difficulty reading text backwards.

>No, I legitimately think there might be something abnormal with your brain
Further evidence that you're an egotistical teenager.

>If I wanted to insult you I'd call you a needle-dicked bugfucker
Or maybe "penis bucket"? Topkek. You might want to try being more creative next time.

>It is my honest opinion that there may well be something wrong with your brain.
>said after reading a few posts on an anonymous image board in the asshole of the internet
Wow, did you finish your psyche degree in, like, 20 minutes, anon? You muss be so smrt.

>> No.6382495

>>6382422
> You're not a super special >9000 IQ class 10 wizard.
Damn right. That's the point. I'm not of above average intelligence, and I have little issue reading a list from bottom-to-top as opposed to top-to-bottom. I asked my nephew about it--who is legitimately retarded--and he didn't have a problem with it either.

>Most people have difficulty reading text backwards.
Sure it's a bit of a hassle, but would they consider it "significant"? I think not. Which is the point.

>You might want to try being more creative next time.
Why? We've already discussed that I am not trying to insult you. There is no "next time" because there never was a "first time".

>>said after reading a few posts on an anonymous image board in the asshole of the internet
That's why I said it was my opinion rather than a fact. I don't have enough information to qualify it as fact yet.

So anyway, let's hear it: Are you exaggerating the difficulty for emphasis, or do you honestly find it significantly difficult to read a list bottom-to-top rather than top to bottom?

>> No.6382516

>>6382303
What a colossal fag.

>> No.6382517

>>6382495
>I asked my nephew about it--who is legitimately retarded--and he didn't have a problem with it either.
>Things that didn't happen

>Sure it's a bit of a hassle, but would they consider it "significant"? I think not. Which is the point.
Yes they do. It's like saying the alphabet backwards. It's significantly harder than doing it normally. Want to know why? You don't have to think about it when you do it normally. You have to actively try to do it backwards. Same with writing, and same with sandwich making.

>Why? We've already discussed that I am not trying to insult you.
>We've already discussed
No, you asserted. It was a false assertion, because your only options were: a) you were insulting me; b) you were attempting a legitimate psychological diagnosis. If you seriously try to assert b, then you're brain dead.

>I don't have enough information to qualify it as fact yet.
I have enough information to tell that you're an egotistical teenager, though.

>do you honestly find it significantly difficult
>intentionally missing the point
I never said it was "le so fugging hard XDDD" I said it was significantly MORE difficult; meaning the difference in how hard it is is of significant value. It's not significantly difficult to walk backwards. It IS significantly MORE difficult than walking forwards.

>>6382516
Right? All europeans take it in the ass.

>> No.6382558

>>6382517
>same with sandwich making.

You're telling me that you have to "Actively try" to follow a "this is the way it is in the sandwich" list as opposed to "assembly order" list?

Really? Honestly? That is not normal, bro. And nobody is bitching about it in this thread other than you. Everybody else has no problem with it.

>>I never said it was "le so fugging hard XDDD" I said it was significantly MORE difficult; meaning the difference in how hard it is is of significant value

What's the difference? Either it's worthy of mention or it's not.

>> No.6382577

>>6382558
Yes. It takes more effort to abstractly view your word picture than it does to follow a list. That is objective. I never said it was particularly hard, but it's making it harder than it needs to be. You should appreciate this, nigger, rather than nogging all over this thread.

>What's the difference?
I've given you several examples:
-Reading backwards
-Saying the alphabet backwards
-Walking backwards

In all these cases, they are not particularly difficult, but the spike in difficulty over the "normal" way is significant and notable. If you honestly can't see this, then maybe you're the one with a mental deficiency.

>> No.6382581

>>6382577

autism: the post

>> No.6382586

>>6382577
>If you honestly can't see this, then maybe you're the one with a mental deficiency.

No, those things you listed require so little effort compared to doing things "normally" that the difference is not significant and is hardly worthy of mention.

>> No.6382590

>>6382581
>If I say autism enough maybe I'll win :^)

>>6382586
So you think singing the alphabet backwards is exactly the same difficulty as singing it forwards? How about you ask your retarded non-existent nephew to try it, faggot?

>> No.6382599

>>6382590
>So you think singing the alphabet backwards is exactly the same difficulty as singing it forwards?

No, it's more difficult. But it's such a small amount that's hardly worthy of mention.

For example, if you asked the butcher for a pound of bacon and the scale says "1.002 lbs" on the screen, we'd still call that "a pound" even thought the number is a little higher. The average person dones't go and say but but it's MORE than a pound. The difference is tiny, it's a pound.

Same thing here.

>>singing
I thought it was saying? Now it's singing? What's your next goalpost move: chanting it in iambic hexameter?

>> No.6382602

>>6382577
Sandwiches follow the rules of gravity.
The bottom of a sandwich is on the bottom.
The bottom of the listed sandwich is on the bottom.
It's a direct translation of the visual to the text.

>Harder to visualize than an inverted translation

>> No.6382608

>>6382599
>But it's such a small amount that's hardly worthy of mention.
Is that why it's a drunk people test? Because the only way to tell if a person is drunk is to make them do something so incredibly easy it's not even worth mentioning?

>singing vs saying
Either or, I don't give a shit. Good to see you're focusing on semantics so you can pull out your bag of "le phalluses may may"

>> No.6382609

>>6382017
i didn't think i'd find esoteric opinions in /ck/ one of the shittiest boards of all time.

>> No.6382617

>>6382602
Creating an image with words is more difficult to understand than directions. It takes abstract thought. I'm not saying abstract thought is difficult (though you fags are showing that it very well may be). I'm saying that OBJECTIVELY abstract thought is more difficult than following directions. Apes understand directions. My fucking dog understands directions. They are NOT capable of abstract thought, and even if they are, it would be incredibly rudimentary.

>> No.6382631

>>6382617
>Creating an image with words is more difficult to understand than directions

I find the opposite to be true. A list of ingredients in gravity order is far less material to process than all the extra words. Maybe it's just me, but I would much rather see a list like this:
bun
cheese
bacon
patty
bun

...than the directions "put the bun on the plate, then put a patty on top of the bun, then put the bacon on the patty...etc.

With the former I get the point in far fewer words than the later. Maybe it's just me, but I find the list to be far more efficient.

>> No.6382634

Wanna know how I know you don't think often

>>6382617

>> No.6382644

>>6382631
bun
cheese
bacon
patty
bun

is less easy than
place the ingredients in this order:
bun
patty
bacon
cheese
bun

objectively.

>> No.6382697

>>6382644

thats confusing
why not list in the order they go in when you look at the burger

>> No.6382755

>>6382697
>implying I don't look at a burger from the bottom up

>> No.6382791

>>6382755
that would be weird

>> No.6382823

>>6382791
No, it would be thinking like a cook: deconstructing the burger in your mind to figure out how it was made and what the end result might taste like.

Hence OP clearly not being an experienced cook. Not to mention the fact that OP's burger is one giant meme.

>> No.6382857
File: 581 KB, 1800x1200, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6382857

I'll say one thing: burgers were designed to be greasy, down-to-earth comfort food, so when trendy restaurants start putting expensive aged cheeses and quail eggs on burgers I kind of shudder. I even heard a French chef on TV once say, "there is actually a time and place for American cheese and it's on a burger."

>> No.6382869

Making one tonight

Bun
Fried Shallots
Tomato
Ground Chuck
Thai Basil Aioli
Bun

Debating whether or not to put some habanero jack on. Really don't want to put lettuce on but might put some spinach on idk. Any ideas on what else to put on or what would go good with it?

>> No.6382874

>>6382823
Holy shit you are the most sophomoric dweeb I've ever seen on this board. Like you seriously think you're hot shit when you're posting on a goddamn anime website?

>> No.6382882

>>6382857
Naw, they were designed to be an easy, cheap, portable sandwich.

>> No.6382887

>>6382874
Of course not. Why would you think I think that? Is it because you're projecting?

Rather, I just came here to insult OP, because it's quite obvious he doesn't have much cooking experience.

>> No.6382902

>>6382887
Because you seriously think cooking expertise can be determined in how a person writes down an organization of burgers, and you're seriously suggesting that your way is proof that you have expertise the OP doesn't. Then you go on to say "meme" to dismiss it completely unironically. You're the stereotype of the guy that uses patrician pleb in real life conversation

>> No.6382908

>>6382017
>bun
>meat
>red onions
>swiss cheese
>bbq sauce

the ultimate.

>> No.6382912

>>6382857
Lobster was poverty food, foie gras was used as butter, and caviar used to be given out for free. Foods evolve and change. There's nothing wrong with that.

>> No.6382921

>>6382902
Yes. If you can't write a recipe even in the correct order, chances are high you're not an experienced cook.

Also, OP's burger really is just all meme.

>> No.6382923

>>6382908
is this top to bottom or bottom to top?

>> No.6382935

>>6382923
oh I didn't actually bother with order. I never do in real life

>> No.6382936

>>6382912

Yeah, foods change, but the lobster example is incorrect.

It was only "poverty food" in a very small location. Refrigerated transport did not exist at the time, so some of the fishing communities in new england had a huge glut of lobsters that could not be transported elsewhere to be sold. So in those towns they were indeed poverty food. But that was a local thing. Miles away they were very much in demand, and expensive. At the very same time you read about the prisoners in new england refusing to eat more lobster the French were going nuts about lobster in haute cuisine.

As for the foie gras: do you have any more info on that? I'm sure it could be used as butter, but I can't imagine it being cheap enough for it to be a butter substitute for the masses. I can see a rich person using it as butter but when was foie gras anything other than a luxury for those who could afford it? The amount of feed it takes to produce foie gras is very high, so surely it would have made more sense for peasants to raise normal ducks and eat their liver in a different preparation, like a pate, sausage, or terrine or something.

>> No.6382939

>>6382921
You're pretentious and arguing over organization on, again, an anime board. You're not making any statements that even make sense, you just have these weirdly defined notions of what makes a chef experienced that no one really shares, and you're lazily using them as excuses for why OP isn't an experienced cook. You're reaching for straws, in other words.

I'm not even saying OP is an experienced cook, I don't think he was even arguing he was, but then you said "See I'm an experienced cook and you aren't!" for no reason anyways.

Just swallow your pride and stop trying to one up people in the most out there ways you can.

>> No.6382947

>>6382936
Foie Gras has been made for a very long time, and Jews used it in a similar way to schmaltz.

http://www.momentmag.com/foie-gras-indelicate-delicacy/

>> No.6382963

>>6382947

your reading comprehension is poor. The article says that jews were known for making foie gras. It also says that said jews cooked with poultry fat. But poultry fat is not the same thing as foie gras. It does not say that they used the foie gras as cooking fat. In fact, it specifically states that the liver was broiled or grilled over a flame.

>> No.6382968

>>6382939
>You're pretentious
Of course. That's the entirety of why I joined this thread to begin with.

>You're not making any statements that even make sense
Maybe to someone who doesn't understand food assembly.

>You're reaching for straws
No, saying that "saying the alphabet backwards is just as easy as saying it forwards" is reaching for straws.

>but then you said "See I'm an experienced cook and you aren't!"
I didn't say that. I said that OP didn't cook often, and I knew it because of the way he thinks food ought to be ordered.

>Just swallow your pride
Why? Like you said, we're on a mandarin messaging medium. I'll just argue until it 404's or I get caught by my boss shitposting on 4chan.

>> No.6382997

>>6382968
>I get caught by my boss shitposting

i'm glad you admit this; it confirms that I've won the argument.

but while we're arguing:

Wouldn't a person who understands food assembly know how to put together the burger regardless of how the ingredients were ordered? The ordering of the list is totally irrelevant to someone who knows how a burger ought to be assembled. If a chef turns to one of his line cooks and says: "make me a burger with onions, guac and salsa", he doesn't have to specify the bun, the patty, or its order of assembly because the cook would fill in the blanks automatically.

>> No.6383027

This is the only place on the entire internet where a simple burger thread can be ruined by an autistic asshole who drags everyone down with him.

>> No.6383057

>>6382997
>it confirms that I've won the argument.
Not really. It confirms that I'm shitposting.You're shitposting, too

>Wouldn't a person who understands food assembly know how to put together the burger regardless of how the ingredients were ordered?
Of course. Just like a baker would know that you need to cream the butter before mixing with other ingredients. If some fuckhead started a thread with "post ur favrit cakes xddd" and then instructed you to "toss all that shit in one big bowl and mix for 20 minutes", any baker worth shit would know this kid didn't know how to bake. Likewise, when some faggot makes a thread about burgers and then lists the toppings backwards, I know he doesn't know shit and got ideas from his foodie friends and pinterest.

>> No.6383060

>>6383027
>autism
4 times in one thread! Come on, you can do better than this, faggots!

>> No.6383071
File: 31 KB, 589x682, 1399228992530.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6383071

>tfw this thread

>> No.6383084

>>6383057
How many times do you need to be told that the lists aren't instructions but a textual visualization of the burger's structure in layers?

You keep going back to the recipe approach, but that is not how many people choose to do it. You are being willfully ignorant and intellectually dishonest.

>> No.6383186

>>6382030
>>6382191
>>6382204
>>6382236
>>6382247
What was this dude's problem

>> No.6383193

put lettuce on both top and bottom, and on the bottom put those items you normally put there on top of the lettuce.

Purpose of the lettuce is to help keep the bun from getting soggy. If you're putting shit on the bottom it needs lettuce too.

>> No.6383222

>>6383186
Who cares? He is clearly mental in some way.

I can't imagine what his thought process must be like.

>> No.6383235

Ciabatta bun
Bacon
Fried onion strings
BBQ sauce
Grilled chicken breast
Mozzarella
Bacon
Ciabatta bun

>> No.6383250

>>6382823
If you have to think to deconstruct the toppings of a burger, than you're probably a high school drop-out who calls himself a chef because he works at Wendy's. The fact that rudimentary abstract thought seems to be even minutely more difficult than directions could also be attributed to your lack of education. But a more likely theory is that you're just a fucking idiot.

>>6383057
>Still insisting on your farfetched idea of the list being directions instead of accepting the fact that it's a mental visualization tool

>> No.6383255

>>6382017
Sesame bun
Catsup
Onions (raw)
Cheese (optional I usually skip it on bigger burgers)
Burger(80/20)Chuck, Rib, and Rump cooked medium w/ generous salt and pepper. Like 4-8 oz worth.
Pickles (home made always)
Mustard
Bun

A burger is all about the beef. I never grill them. I only sear them on the griddle w/butter because I want to preserve the juice and beef fat to toast the buns with. I hate drowning it in so many toppings or greasy condiments that I can't taste beef fat (fuck mayo) or feel the crunch as I bite into the patty.

>> No.6383308

>>6382017
minced lamb
curry ketchup
no bun
on a skewer
>genius!

>> No.6383343

>>6382422
>Most people have difficulty reading text backwards.

Yes people with the mental disorder known as dyslexia. Also autistic people can have trouble with it as well (no meme intended, it's the truth).

>> No.6383545

Thin, large diameter burger cooked on a skillet over a bed of 1/4~1/3 diced onion. tiny bit of salt & pepper worked into the patty, but only barely. Thick slice of American cheese, & toasted King's Hawaiian bun (they're pretty big, hence the large patty diameter).

Had one today, can't get enough of it.

>> No.6383549

>>6383545
forgot to mention, cooked onions go back onto burger after removing from skillet.

>> No.6383903

>>6382017
>>6382084
>>6382225
>>6382230

I you goddamn fucking hipster ass faggot cocksuckers are joking. Do you put fucking caviar, truffles, and bird's nest soup on your goddamn burgers too? Shallots? Are onions too fucking mainstream? Frisee? Why? Brioche bun? IS THIS A GODDAMN FUCKING DESSERT?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT CORNICHON? THEY'RE FUCKING TINY PICKLES! Is pretentiousness more important than fucking convenience? Mornay? Is it fucking pasta or a fucking burger? Duxelles? Bearnaise? You fucks are so fucking obsessed with French shit, it's horrifying. "My name is anon and I jerk off to French shit and anything with a French name except for mayonnaise is automatically good! I'm so FUCKING AUTISTIC! I'M A 5 STAR CHEF BECAUSE I GO ON AN ANIME MEME SITE AND TALK ABOUT RANDOM SHIT I PUT ON, OF ALL FOODS, FUCKING HAM FUCKING BURGERS!!!!" Do you actually fucking waste your time chopping apricots and figs for a goddamn fucking burger?

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I PUT ON MY BURGER? FUCKING MEAT< FUCKING AMERICAN CHEESE, FUCKING TOMATOES, FUCKING ONIONS, FUCKING PICKLES, FUCKING KETCHUP, AND FUCKING MUSTARD ON A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING HAMBURGER FUCKING BUN! HAMBURGERS AREN'T ITALIAN AND FRENCH SO FUCKING TREAT THEM LIKE THEY'RE NOT ITALIAN AND FRENCH

THEY

ARE

FAST

FUCKING

FOOD!

>> No.6383953
File: 21 KB, 190x155, hah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6383953

>>6383903
this

>> No.6384082

Beef (obviously)
Colby-jack (for the flavor and the color)
Ketchup
Any kind of mustard that isn't sweet
Pickles
Mayonnaise
Tomatoes
Iceberg lettuce
Raw onion
On an onion bun

>> No.6384644
File: 80 KB, 400x300, Question.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6384644

Anyone got a nice simple burger topped with blue cheese?
A southwestern burger w/ green chili, like the New Mexico fags eat?
Do you make your own BBQ sauce?

>> No.6384691

Bicky burger. One of the best I've ever had. Available in Belgium and Netherlands.

>> No.6384831

>>6382017
my friend runs this deli and though the burger itself isnt absolutely perfect, the combination is really something

avocado
tomato
pineapple
some thin cut onion
cheese
patty

>> No.6384852

>>6382017
That whole fucking image is backasswards.

The onion, then tomato, then lettuce should go BELOW the meat to keep the sandwich from sogging apart.

Cheese should preferably be melted, if not browned, on the patty before being placed on top of the relish and bottom bun.

Spreads and choice of bun as well as other condiments are up for debate as far as I'm concerned. I even consider melting the cheese by placing the char-broiled burger on top of it fair game.

>> No.6384872

>>6382162

Stop being a cunt. Its the internet. Give less fucks.

>> No.6386011

>>6383903
you seem upset

>> No.6386195

Holy shit how did y'all manage to make burgers into a faggot thing?

>> No.6386250
File: 14 KB, 125x126, 204-hank-hill-whatever.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6386250

>>6382017
Sorry op but mayo does not belong on a burger.. not sure who the ass hole was who started the whole mayo on a burger thing.. But if I ever get a burger with mayonnaise from a restraint it's an automatic 1 star yelp

>> No.6386253

>>6386250
It's not mayo.

>> No.6386257
File: 836 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_2015-04-04-15-20-03.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6386257

>>6386253

>> No.6386271

Top to bottom
>Pretzel bun
>Mayo
>bacon
>caramelized onions
>Havarti cheese
>any red meat ground, leanish
>peanut butter

>> No.6386282

>>6386257
Oh, I thought you were referencing Bearnaise.

>> No.6386293

>>6386271
>no bottom bun

>> No.6386296

>>6382017

From top to bottom:
sesame seed bun
mayo
salt, pepper, paprika
red onions
tomatoes
bib romaine
bacon
burger (medium)
bread and butter pickles
bottom bun

>> No.6386298

>>6386296
Simple. Classic. I like it.

>> No.6386306

Does Dijon belong on a burger?

>> No.6386426

>>6386293
Thanks for capping my burger

>> No.6386470

>>6383235
I think they have this at Carl's jr

>> No.6386481

>>6386296
why putting extra salt in a burger that already has bacon and pickels and meat?

>> No.6386576

Generously buttered, grilled bun
ketchup
brown mustard
mayo
burger (medium/medium rare)
cheese
fried onions
bacon

Don't need bacon and onions all the time. I like a simple burger.

>> No.6386582

>>6386576
I forgot dill pickle slices!

>> No.6386607

>>6382017
Toasted Kaiser roll.

Little mayo on bottom, little Dijon on top.

Lean patty that's still a tiny bit pink in the middle, bacon, bleu cheese, and grilled green chili pepper.

>> No.6386645

>>6383903
This guy gets it, it's a burger, you put burger things on it and eat it like the burger that it is. If anyone went to a BBQ and honestly expected 1/10 of the stupid shit you people put on your burgers you'd be the victim mob violence.

>> No.6387034

>>6383186

just discovered 4chin from ign or something

>> No.6387348

>>6383903
damn

>> No.6387423

>>6383903
I hope you didn't have a stroke while getting this angry about burgers.

>> No.6387433

>>6387423
I didn't have a stroke, but my penis did.

>> No.6388021

>>6383903
>being proud of american cheese
i think we've come full circle

>> No.6388025

>>6382144
This is what mayonnaise is for, have you not watched good eats?

>> No.6388080

>>6382017
Panini bun
Mayonaise
Caramelized onion chutney
Burger
Blue Stilton
Bun

>> No.6388154

no particular order

beef patty
avocado (GOAT burger ingredient)
red onion
swiss cheese
bacon
tomato sauce
pepper
beetroot (tomato is for fags and ruins burgers)
cos lettuce

any crusty bread is good

>> No.6389918
File: 16 KB, 294x299, yanni.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6389918

>>6383903
>mfw I actually agree with all of this

>> No.6390075

>>6382162
Bun
thing above the meat
meat
thing below the meat
bottom bun

What kind of bumbling retard are you where you cant visualize a burger in the order which it comes in? itd actually require more effort to visualize it upside down

bottom bun
thing below the meat
meat
thing above the meat
Bun

>> No.6390187

>>6386645
>>6389918
>>6386250
>>6383903

its a burger, put what you want on it and eat it how you enjoy it, because in the end the only person who is eating it is you, so why deprive yourself because others bully you into "what HAS to be on a sandwhich".

>> No.6390205

>>6390187
You actually believe that these fucks ACTUALLY put all that shit on their burgers? They just find random French shit on Wikipedia and say they eat it because it sounds fancy.

>> No.6390249
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6390249

>>6383903
This is without a doubt THE MOST flyover post I've ever seen on /ck/.

>> No.6390263

>>6383903
You really shouldn't have a problem with people fancying up a burger from time to time. And burgers are not automatically fast food. Do you grill at home? Not that burgers are a big event or anything, but it's not all that "fast". Lighten up. And ketchup on a burger? There should be a post as equally angry as yours just for that shit alone, Mr. Ronald Mcdonald.

>> No.6390611

>>6382017
Cheese and ketchup, fuck all your other shit.

>> No.6390613
File: 331 KB, 1200x1920, 1406416047411.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6390613

>>6383903
I mean, you're not wrong

>> No.6390635

Burger. Cheese. Grilled Onions. Jalapenos. Bacon.

Maybe coleslaw if I'm feeling dangerous.

>> No.6390721

>>6390613
>I mean

>> No.6390736

>>6390721
Yes?

>> No.6390743

>>6390736
"I mean" can be used to follow up with something you already said. Like for clarity of a specific piece of information you have already given. It however can not be used (correctly) to begin a new statement on it's own.

What I'm trying to say is, fuck yourself you illiterate cunt..

>> No.6390745

>>6390743
"Man, that song is really great!"

"I mean, if you hate music."

Here "I mean" is used to indicate that the speaker has briefly thought of a more polite way to indicate the statement but can only express it in a blunt or sarcastic fashion. "I mean" only starts a statement of this nature if it is in response to someone else's statement, though it can be used in both to agree and disagree with said statement.

>> No.6390748

>>6390743
You're retarded.

>> No.6390750

>>6390745
>>6390748

And thus niggers will rule the future.

Great.

>> No.6390755

>>6390750
It's a substitute for "I'll be honest with you". It is really common to hear. Calm your Autism.

>> No.6390758

Can only one anon RP as american TV ramsay at a time please?

>> No.6390783
File: 96 KB, 277x296, 1407463907229.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6390783

>>6390743
>>6390750

>> No.6390784

Slightly grilled sesame seed bun
Burger
Cheddar Cheese
Ketchup
Mustard

I fucking hate salad on my burger.

>> No.6390788

>>6390784
>I fucking hate salad on my burger.

Autism: the post.

>> No.6390795

>>6390788

The best part is that ketchup is somehow ok.

>> No.6390798

My two favorite burgers:

1, Top to Bottom

Brioche Bun
Onion Rings (Preferably the thin kind)
Cheddar
Burger
Romaine Lettuce
Brioche Bun

2, Top to Bottom

Brioche Bun
Bacon
Provolone
Grilled Pineapple
Teriyaki-glazed Burger
Romaine Lettuce
Brioche Bun

>> No.6390800

>>6390788
>>6390795
I get in an argument every time i make a burger. I just don't like salad on it. Yes, i like a bit of ketchup on it, but for whatever reason it's a crime against humanity not to put salad on your burger.

>> No.6391055

>>6390249
Why is his nose a dog penis?

>> No.6391132
File: 500 KB, 1200x900, 1428168671857.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6391132

>>6382017

Bun
Sperm
Fried dog's tongue
Lettuce
Fresh loli nipples
Burger
Mucus
Cheddar cheese
Mucus
Bun

>> No.6391174

>>6391132
yummy

>> No.6391184

>Top bun
>soft gorgonzola cheese
>falafel patty
>red onion
>spinach
>tzatziki
>Bottom bun

I ain't even vegetarian, falafel is fucking delicious

>> No.6391198

Grilled white sesame bap
Lettuce
Pickles
Bacon (crispy)
Thin strong cheddar slice
Thin, pressed burger, flash cooked (Five Guys style)
BBQ sauce
Sliced black olives, very lightly fried.
Toasted white bap

>> No.6391561

>>6387034
>ign
u wish, faggot

>>>/v/

>> No.6391642

>>6390755
It's (properly) used to imply you still disagree with something about the other person's statement.

>I mean, you're not wrong, but don't have a heart attack about it.
Fixed.


And now I'm going to go make a burger.

>> No.6391888
File: 900 KB, 1600x1104, 1422259573341.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6391888

>>6382038
>Lettuce is always on the very bottom as it soaks up grease and keeps the bun from getting soggy.
thats retarded, youre supposed to use butter filthy casual, but:
>>6388025
mayo is a close second due to high oil content

also, its generally better to put lettuce next to the mayo so the lettuce stays put, this allows you to put tomatoes/onion rings atop that to create a burger tower than cannot be 9/11'ed.

>> No.6391895

>>6391642
It was delicious. I have trouble getting the cheese nice & melted by the time the patty's seared & done just right, though.

>> No.6391935

>>6391888
Nah, the best top is
bun
mayo
ketchup
pickle
onion
tomato
lettuce

Lettuce acts as containment and temperature insulation, the juices from the sauces, pickles,and tomatoes mix into pure happiness.

But feel free to eat it your way. I just love how that melding of flavors works.

Also
>inb4 ketchup and tomato
>inb4 ketchup? You plebe.
>inb4 mayo doesn't belong on a burger

Take your autism elsewhere.

>> No.6392087

>>6382041

I like the cut of your jib. Lettuce is nice and all but its not necessary. I would add pickle. and some of those little yellow hot peppers.

but that's just me

>> No.6393092

>>6390798
AGAIN with the FUCKING BRIOCHE BUN! LOOK AT ME! I'M A 5 STAR CHEF BECAUSE MY BREAD IS SLIGHTLY SWEETER AND HAS A FRENCH NAME!

Kill yourself you goddamn fucking hipster ass son of a bitch.

>> No.6393101

>>6386481
I guess I add a little salt to the tomato. It's a horrible but delicious habit.

>> No.6393155

>>6393092
it's memefood. Wendys has them now, so clearly these motherfuckers think "buttery bun" must be a fucking brioche.

>> No.6393287

Bun
Mustard
Burger
Cheddar
Sunnyside-Up Egg
Lettuce
Pickles
Bun

>> No.6393310

Potato Bun
Mayo
Pickled Figs
Bacon
Gorgonzola
Burger
Mayo
Potato Bun

Any other Seattlefags fuck with the Fig and Pig at Lil Woody's?

>> No.6393333

Many of you can't into cheese. You keep picking cheeses what's flavors clash with your other ingredients or cheeses that are abject failures at melting.

>> No.6393357

>>6393092
Have you tried sitting in the chair so it isn't straight up your asshole?

I mean, you're screaming at people for their CHOICE of BREAD for HAMBURGERS. Who gives a fuck if it's Kaiser, Brioche, Potato, Sourdough, Wonderbread or a fucking flatbread? Jesus, you're the hipster piece of shit in this conversation for giving a shit about it.

Like how you attacked someone for using cornichons, and then put pickles on your burger. THEY'RE THE SAME FUCKING THING, YOU RAGING RED ASSHOLE OF A BUTTBLASTED SPIC. (Assuming, of course, that they sliced their cornichons, if not, then fuck them with a rake.)

>>6382017
I'm a simple man.

I like my burgers to have some sweet, some spice, and a touch of crunch.

Two varieties I use fairly often:

1.

Bun
Fried Onion Straws (you know, the stuff on a green bean casserole?)
Caramellized Onion
Swiss Cheese
Patty.
Sweet Hot Mustard and a touch of barbecue sauce.
Mayonaise
Bun.

You could also do the sauce on the caramellized onions, but that quickens the softening of the straws.

2.
Onion Bun
Grilled Pineapple
Leaf of lettuce
"Lacquered" Patty. (Basically, you just brush sauce onto it, flip it, repeat. you flip it a few more times than you normally would, to reduce any burning of sugars in the sauce.)
Some Hot Sauce/Sriracha/a couple slices of pickled jalapeños,
Bun.

The Lacquer is typically a blend of teriyaki and something else: a cajun glaze or straight barbeque, whatever.

This burger can be messy, since it's got a lot of liquid inside.

Oh, and I butter and grill my buns on the other burner while cooking the burgers, so the buns have some crunch as well.

>> No.6393364

>>6393092
I like Brioche Buns. Onion Rolls used to be my favorite, but that was before I had a Brioche Bun. If in the future I try a bun that I like better for burgers, I will then use that as my "perfect burger" bun. Calm down, Autismo.

>> No.6393371

>>6393364
You probably like pretzel buns too, you fucking starbuck's retard.

>> No.6393373

>>6393364
Am I the only one who hates Brioche and likes Texas Toast? Do I just have shit taste?

>> No.6393378

>>6393371
If they're made right, they are fantastic. Go back to /b/, child. Only kids give a shit what other people eat.

>> No.6393385

>>6393373
I've got nothing against Brioche, but I've never tried Texas Toast for a burger.

I understand it can mean different things in different places, so let me clarify: you mean the thick-cut eggy white bread, yeah? You don't mean with cheese and garlic, on it?

>> No.6393393

>>6393378
Yeah, because adults like wasting their time and money for bread just because it has a French name.

>> No.6393399

>>6393371
I don't like pretzel buns, actually. I do like starbucks though, I always hit them up over the Autumn and Winter holidays. Does this anger you? Someone else enjoying things you don't?

>>6393373
I love Texas Toast, it just doesn't work well for burgers in my opinion. Now, a good tuna cheddar melt or philly cheese steak on texas toast...

>> No.6393401

>>6393393
lol what the hell is up with the butthurt surrounding anything that has a whiff of frenchness? you been watching too much fox news, son?

>> No.6393403

>>6393393
So you don't know what brioche is then.

>> No.6393432

>>6393401
Oui oui, Algerian food is amazing.

>> No.6393472

Hahaha

This thread is awesome. So many of you are outting the fuck of yourselves as not knowing shit about food with these trainwreck burgers.

Many of your flavor profiles are horrible, muddled, confused, or just plain stupid,

>but muh frog named ingredients mean quality and taste!

not the way y'all are using them.

The funniest part is that these are the same people who would flip their shit if you covered a prime rib with A1,but yet are doing it themselves.

And don't get me wrong, experimentation is awesome, but get some idea of how this shit works.

>> No.6393515

>>6393472

Is this a thing?

Like, there's this pretentious fuck and the rage-a-holic earlier in the thread, and they both specifically give a fuck about the Frenchiness of your food?

Is this a new meme, that things associated with France are by definition bullshit?

Man, I was away for like, 2 months.

>> No.6393582

>>6393515
You got from that pretentious and anti french?

You suck at reading comprehension and vocabulary.

>> No.6393588

>>6393472
I haven't even looked at most of this thread, it looks mostly like dumb rednecks bitching about anything that seems exotic to a 70 year old lady from Wichita

>> No.6393844

>>6393582

His pretension is fairly self-evident. He denigrates the opinions he disagrees with by claiming they're humorously bad. Further, he refrains from calling out anyone specifically, so he can't be refuted on any point, because he can just claim "Oh, I wasn't talking about him."

He describes BURGERS using the phrase "flavor profile" noting that his unnamed objects of derision created ones that are "muddled" or "confused".

He further claims that while experimentation is awesome (thus establishing that he appreciates the new) that his, again, totally undefined except for ONE component, enemies have no idea how "this shit works".

He attacks the masses for their poor composition, which shows enough knowledge of the craft to protect himself.


But the only defining characteristic he gives this deridable masses are that they would defend themselves with the claim
>muh frog-named ingredients mean quality and taste.

Firstly using Frog instead of French, a common slur, and secondly deriding the concept that French food is good-tasting or quality, A stance he immediately steps back on, to note that the actual problem is their use, which is actually a cogent point.

I didn't actually think he was a huge attacker of the French, but his use of the slur combined with Rage-o-tron upstairs gave me two data points of "mild to heavy antagonism to French cooking"

As to vocabulary and comprehension, we can see the man is connected to a rural area, given his use of "y'all". His use of "outing yourselves" speaks to a slight anti-homosexual element in his region, as well as youth (younger than 30) due to a non-standard usage. His repeated use of profanity similarly reinforces his age as being in his early 20's, as he uses it as an intensifier.

His comments about flavor profiles and dismissal of French power speak to some actual cooking skill, but his example of PRIME RIB being used with A1 speaks to a preponderance of prime rib in his region.

Midwestern line cook.

>> No.6393850

>putting ANYTHING below the patty
FUCKING PLEBS

>> No.6393867

>>6393850
Do you include sauces like Mayo in that, or do you just use sufficiently thick buns to hold the juice without disintegrating?

>> No.6393881

>>6393844
You can also tell by his post times that he is in a midwestern timezone.

>> No.6393958

>>6393844
you couldn't fail harder if you tried.

I didn't bother calling out any individual burger because it's a waste of effort, but if you really want to jump to something's defense, please tell us all how the flavor profile of OP's burger is anything but a laughable waste of ingredients.

>hates on french, but backpeddles immediately
you retard. the implication of that greentext was that idiots think That if something is french, it must be awesome if used in any way, to include asinine preparations. Like the inclusion of bearnaise sauce in so many of these burgers. It works awesome on steak because you just have the meat and the sauce. You've pepper and tarragon to enhance the beef flavor with yolks to add richness and with the oil to create an interesting mouth feel that plays well off of the steaks texture. It doesn't have to war with the flavor of some savory or aromatic green, rich bread, pungent cheese, herby and vinegary pickle, and loud onion on top of whatever way the ground beef was seasoned, in all of which the flavor of the beef is lost--I don't care what cut you or preparation you choose, no beef can stand up to that thermonuclear bomb of mismatched flavor. This is why I compared it to A1, it's a use of things in ways that just kill any possible subtlety and the flavor of the heart of the dish borne of absolutely no understanding of how different foods work together. Many of these are caucophinous mixing notes that result from people taking things like a piano and cello,knowing they can make good music and beating them together then calling the result a symphony.

>other various ad home
whatever you want to believe guy

>> No.6393997

>>6393881

Can you? I confess I'm not that technically savvy.

>>6393958
If you re-read my post, I never discredit your arguments. I actually point out that your few concrete stances show some knowledge of cooking skills.

My only notes were that your post was pretty pretentious in its tone, and that, between you calling them frogs, and the other guy, that I felt there was the presence of a trend.

Though, you seem to have a very biased view of how hamburgers work. OP's burger is a normal fucking burger with bearnaise sauce instead of mayo, mustard, and ketchup. Or fucking barbecue sauce, or any other sauce.

The biggest complaint you could level at it is that it's clearly going to be richer than Midas, since it uses Bearnaise AND Bacon.

The idea that you can't taste the meat because your lettuce and onion are too strong is stupid. That's how every hamburger at any place better than a truck stop diner serves them.

Yes, you can have a good burger with just Meat, cheese, bread. But adding some onion, or pickles, or lettuce, or god forbid a fucking tomato, is also common for good burgers.

I never resorted to ad hominem, either. I just point out things you wrote and how they potentially illustrate who you are. I never said "We shouldn't listen to him, he's a Bumblefuck Buckeye!" I was just pointing out the kind of things you can infer just from the way people talk/write.

I'm clearly an overly analytical, mildly argumentative academic or intellectual, who also uses profanity as an intensifier in my speech, implying relative youthfulness. So probably a grad student somewhere in America to know that Buckeyes is slang for Ohioans.
And given the time of my posts, either up rather late for an East Coaster, or, more likely, from the West Coast. Given my word choice, and needless dissection of every point, we can suppose a Liberal Arts major of some kind, probably a field with theory or criticism.

>> No.6394474
File: 115 KB, 992x1057, IMG_20130811_124023.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6394474

>>6393844

10/10, I loved the part about prime rib at the end

>>6393958
>damage control

didn't even read

>> No.6394540

>>6393997
>Buckeyes

WOOOO GO BUCKEYES! OSU! OSU! OSU! MUCK FICHIGAN!

>> No.6394559
File: 3.51 MB, 2640x2280, Big_Mac_hamburger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6394559

Two all beef patties, special sace, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, all on a sesame seed bun.

>> No.6394571

>>6382017

brioche bun
mustard based sauce
cheddar
beef
red onion slice
tomato slice
lettuce
brioche

keeping it simple. this is how I make it 90% of the time. could add a ketchup type sauce and caramelized onions if I arsed, maybe blue cheese if feeling like it. if you want mayo then make your mustard sauce in mayo. a fried egg and some bacon is also good.

another one I like, a bit "lighter" and has herbs and shit that makes people think it's healthier.

brioche
rucola, possibly marinated with balsamic vinaigrette
tzatziki type yogurt sauce
goat cheese
lamb
more rucola
tapenade
brioche

>> No.6394590

>>6393867
If your burger is greasy enough it disintegrates your bottom bun you're doing something wrong.
First thing you should taste past the bun is the meat.

>> No.6395282

>>6393867
If your patty seeps juices that badly, you probably aren't letting it rest first.

>> No.6396000

>>6382152
Want to know how I know you're a sad little manlet?

When mummy makes ur burgers u gotta look up at them on the counter. so its impossible for you to visualize a burger from a normal persons height.

>> No.6396667

>>6394571
PROOF that these brioche bun hipster faggots don't know what the fuck they are talking about.

"Lighter?" Balsamic vinaigrette is "lighter?" Tapenade (made with goddamn anchovies and olives) is "lighter?" Do you have fucking ANTI-TASTE BUDS!?

>>6394590
Your bottom bun is going to fucking disintegrate when IT'S GODDAMN FUCKING BRIOCHE!

>> No.6396695

>>6382017
bun
ketchup
bacon
coleslaw
cheese
meat
mustard
bun

>> No.6396706

>>6383903
>I'M A 5 STAR CHEF BECAUSE I GO ON AN ANIME MEME SITE AND TALK ABOUT RANDOM SHIT I PUT ON, OF ALL FOODS, FUCKING HAM FUCKING BURGERS!!!!

lol so true

>> No.6396707

Brioche hamburger buns are the epitome of a good experience.

>> No.6396711

Why are all you cunts calling blue cheese "bleu cheese"?

>> No.6396712

>>6396706
You're obviously a Yahoo.com level cook. Hamburger artistry will either make or break you in this day and age.

>> No.6396715

>>6396711
Never been to the market, huh? Ask your mom to take you this weekend.

>> No.6396716

>>6396707
lies.
challah buns. look into your heart you know it to be true.

>> No.6396719

>>6396716
Never tried them. I will not doubt you until I do.

>> No.6396730
File: 47 KB, 473x644, Fish on head.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6396730

>>6383903
Lol, this guy got pretty upset when people talk about how they do "ground beef on bread" sandwiches different to him.

>> No.6396744

>>6396715
Yea I have i'm just not a cunt who uses the frenchified version of the phrase. It was known as blue cheese in English for around 150 years before "bleu" came about.

>> No.6396763

>>6396744
That, and stilton is prolly the best blue cheese.

>> No.6396777

>>6396744
I guarantee you use French words on a daily basis you frog hating, uneducated, federalist neophyte.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_French_expressions_in_English

bon appétit!

>> No.6396791

>>6396777
You use Greek words on a daily basis as well. Are you going to call cheese "tyri" now? Fucking faggot.

>> No.6396799
File: 220 KB, 1000x716, net704_febo_2[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6396799

>>6384691
Bicky Burger. A mixture of chicken, pork and horse meat deep-fried. No wonder it's only in Belgium and the Netherlands; two countries known for their outstanding cuisine.

>> No.6396801

>>6396791
Because that's a common term in the U.S. just like bleu, right?

Stab yourself in the ball sack so you can end your genetic line of stupidity.

>> No.6396809

>>6396715
I see plenty of cheeses at the market.
>BLUE Stilton
>Shropshire BLUE
>Maytag BLUE

>> No.6396829

>>6396801
Bleu isn't common unless it's describing an ACTUAL French product from ACTUAL France (see >>6396809)
, or it's used commercially to fool faggots like you into thinking something is fancy.

ANYWAY, "using French words on a daily basis" doesn't justify calling things their French name for no reason. Do you comprendre what je am parlant about? Faggot.

>> No.6396837
File: 44 KB, 814x500, 1267569113531.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6396837

>>6396809
>thinks it's Maytag "blue"

>> No.6396839

>>6396829
You're literally too dumb to realize how dumb you are.

>> No.6396841
File: 9 KB, 293x172, someone on ck is a faggot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6396841

>>6396837
>thinks

>> No.6396844

>>6396839
Thanks for ending the argument. I don't have the creativity to make you look more retarded after you just said that. You can't even justify the reason why you call things their French name for no reason.

You are literally a weeaboo for French people.

>> No.6396850
File: 72 KB, 852x480, Deeds.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6396850

>>6396844
>Being this proud of ignorance

>> No.6396854

>>6396850
What are you even trying to say anymore? Try saying something in French. You might sound smarter.

>> No.6396863

>>6396854
You too fucking dumb to understand any points I could offer, so why waste my time? Now it's fun just to make fun of you and witness your constant butt hurt. You keep responding to everything I say. I own you.

>> No.6396888

>>6396863
What are your points? Here are mine:
1. "Bleu is only used for French products and things that people want to be fancy."
2. "'Using a language on a daily basis' doesn't justify using random words from that language."

Here are two things that I think may be points that you came up with:
1."Bleu is a more common term than 'tyri,'" (still doesn't justify my second point. still looking for a reason.)
2. "You are dumb."

>> No.6396896

>>6396863
>own
Not the guy you are talking to, but you sound underaged now.

>> No.6396929

>>6382017
Sesame bun
Pickles
Tomato
Lettuce
Cheddar
Ground sirloin with little bits of ginger in it
Mustard
Ketchup
Mayo
Bottom bun

Wa La

>> No.6396940

>>6396896
Adapt to your environment.

>Psychological Operations in a Military Urban Environment. vol. II

>> No.6397269

>>6396863
Hey bleu kid, you got le pwnt throught this entire internet argument. Good luck winning your next meaningless internet shit fight. Also your mum does meth.

ALSO my fav home made burger goes

Sesame bun (toasted a little)
some of this bbq sauce in picrelated
fryed egg with runny yolk
Melted coles tasty cheese
Pineapple
Meat
(maybe bacon, if i'm feeling memey)
tomato
beetroot
lettus, one big iceburg leaf, no mesculin shredded shit.
Bun bum

Served with nothing because that shit's enough for a full meal.

>> No.6397275
File: 5 KB, 83x235, eta bbq sauce.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6397275

>>6397269
also remembering pics is hard

>> No.6397304

>>6396667
>Balsamic vinaigrette is "lighter?" Tapenade (made with goddamn anchovies and olives) is "lighter?"

lighter than the beef I use on the normal version.

they also have some sourness and bitterness to them that cuts the grease flavor from the tapenade, cheese and lamb making them feel "lighter".

hence the "" marks.

>> No.6397562
File: 78 KB, 570x570, wholemeal-bread-rolls.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6397562

simple powdery, super soft bun
hot salsa dip spread with precision
lettuce
mexicana cheese, placed on the meat while it's cooking
thick, lean angus burger
a little more salsa dip
the other half of the bun

So, an angus burger with some mexicana and salsa is what I'm getting at.

>> No.6397571

>>6382017
Here. Its an Ad for Wisconsin Cheese, but its pretty charming. Plus it has Patrick Waterburton.

http://www.cheeseandburger.com/

>> No.6397581

I've seen shorter arguments over the existence of the holocaust

God damn /ck/

>> No.6397600

>>6382044

Quite right. If you want to repel the grease, spread a little mayonnaise or some kind of "bun oil" on the bun first.

>> No.6399354

>>6397581
Of course arguments about the Holocaust being real were shorter. It was real. There's nothing to argue about.

>> No.6399748 [DELETED] 

>>6399354
JIDF go

>> No.6399766

>>6382017
>spicy mustard or some sort of vinagarette
>onion
>spinach
>onion
>tomato
>cucumbers
>lettuce
>maybe some cheese

Oh shit, that's not a burger. I'm a vegetarian.

>> No.6399776

>>6382017
yeast roll
pub style mustard
banana pepper rings
onions
bacon
swiss cheese
burger
pickles
thin tomato slices
a1 sauce/mayo mix
yeast roll

>> No.6399836
File: 856 KB, 1016x467, 1372980776904.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
6399836

>>6399354
The number of people who supposedly died was exaggerated, (6 million again, on top of the 6 million that already supposedly died at the hands of the Russians in the 1920's) but i'm sure quite a few did get the gas. Shitty times.

Back to the thread!
>beef patty w/garlic and diced onions in it
>3-4 rings of red onion
>thin slice of colby
>thin slice of pepperjack
>a few pickle slices
No condiments. A good burger doesn't need ketchup or mustard.

>> No.6399850

>people in this thread unironically put tomato above the lettuce

>> No.6399964

>>6382577
>bun
>lettuce
>burger
>bun

He'll be trying to figure this one out for a while so we can get back to thread

>> No.6399977

>>6384082
>onion bun
Fucking thank you! i forgot these existed until now

>> No.6399986

>>6391132
>fresh loli nipples
So what kind of paper do you use?

>> No.6400499

>>6399354
>There's nothing to argue about.

because we all know it's a hoax

>> No.6400544

I don't care about the order other than the fact that the patty should be the absolute bottom. Nothing should be under the patty, especially condiments.

>> No.6400554

>>6400544

I on the other hand want all the extras under the patty.

which means you are wrong

>> No.6400818

>>6382017
I'll eat just about everything associated with being on a burger except pickles. And I prefer grilled onions. Bacon is good, and I like a thickly sliced tomato. Also, fuck off with overpowering sauces and shit like that, I want to taste the food, not the sauce

>> No.6402205

>>6383903
i wish i had friends like you anon

>> No.6402838

Mustard
Onion
Mayo
Tabasco chipotle
Cheddar
Bacon
Tomato
Pickles
Lettuce is optional.

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