Diner Experiences

[Anonymous No.6321579]

>ITT share weird, funny, disgusting, interesting stories of your experiences in diners.

It can be about the food, the waiting staff, or other patrons.

[Anonymous No.6321614]

>Go to diner, early morning
>Packed with old folks
>One free seat, nab it
>The old man next to me spends the entire time busting my balls about 'You tryna' get some wrinkled pussy?'
>Not sure if I should laugh, cry, or just walk out

>Typical drunk, rowdy diner night
>Stumble in
>Proceed to order several plates of eggs, sausage, and other food
>Realize I lost my wallet at the bar
>They take my shoes as collateral
>Get wallet
>Come back
>Find mouse in my shoe

'Bout it.

[Anonymous No.6321620]

>>6321614
>Find mouse in my shoe
That's the point where you don't pay and you threaten to call the health department.

YA BLEW IT

[Anonymous No.6321622]

>>6321614
>The old man next to me spends the entire time busting my balls about 'You tryna' get some wrinkled pussy?'

You should have just told him you were gay.

I wonder what his reaction would have been.

[Anonymous No.6321625]

>>6321622

[Anonymous No.6321682]

>>6321625
He should have started hitting on the old man.

[Anonymous No.6322053]

>>6321579
>Friend At Waffle House
>Sitting down enjoying omelets
>Cockroach starts scurrying across table, waitress comes by and smacks it with a menu in her hand and then proceeds to put the menu back in the menu pile
>Never going back

[Anonymous No.6322062]

> Being at McDonalds with friends one day
> Sitting with your stuff
> Suddently, a mice.
> A sweet, little, living mice, who goes from its hole to the trash can to pick up food
> The mice tries to take a chicken nugget but it is way too big
> Mice tries again
> Mice is forced to let the nugget
> Mice now pick fries and bring them back to its hole
> Finally, some bitch begin to scream because "Oh my God a mice!"
> The mice goes back in its hole.

[Anonymous No.6322064]

>>6322053
was the cockroach on your table?

[Anonymous No.6322067]

>>6321579
> Being at McDonalds with friends one day
> Sitting with your stuff
> Suddently, a mouse.
> A sweet, little, living mouse, who goes from its hole to the trash can to pick up food
> The mouse tries to take a chicken nugget but it is way too big
> Mouse tries again
> Mouse is forced to let the nugget
> Mouse now picks fries and bring them back to its hole
> Finally, some bitch begin to scream because "Oh my God a mouse!"
> The mouse goes back in its hole.

[Anonymous No.6322074]

>>6321579
> Being at McDonalds with friends one day
> Sitting with our stuff
> Suddently, a mouse.
> A sweet, little, living mouse, who goes from its hole to the trash can to pick up food
> The mouse tries to take a chicken nugget but it is way too big
> Mouse tries again
> Mouse is forced to let the nugget
> Mouse now picks fries and bring them back to its hole
> Finally, some bitch begin to scream because "Oh my God a mouse!"
> The mouse goes back in its hole.

[Anonymous No.6322083]

>>6322064
Yes it was on his table.

[Anonymous No.6322084]

>>6322074
The nice thing to have done would be to pick up the nugget and take it to his hole and break it in two and leave it there for him to eat.

Did you take the mouse home as a pet?

[Anonymous No.6322094]

>put a 5 dollar bill into the jukebox
>David Allen Coe - You Never Even Called Me By My Name
>play it however many times 5 dollars gets you
>exeunt
simply epic every time

[Anonymous No.6322119]

>>6321579
>drunk
>group went to Denny's off the interstate
>seat us near the entrance
>trucker missing some teeth and a few brain cells starts making conversation with us
>he wants to show us that he can draw stars
>seriously, pencil + paper = that fucker just drew a star for us and he was really proud
>confide in him I couldn't draw stars for several years in elementary school and had to draw two overlapping triangles to make a star instead
>thanks jew stars
>show trucker
>blows his fucking mind
>"Show me that again!"
>"That is so cool!"
>Hangin' out drawin' jew stars with each other till his food shows up
>"See ya later!"

It was a weird bonding moment, because I was sobering up quickly, but it was fun. I really want to know how he managed to get his CDL in the first place.

Bonus story:
>me as a tiny, tiny child and it's my birthday
>want some fancy fucking Sizzler because steak yeah it's my birthday
>waiter is named Billy Bob
>I was a shy child and talked to no one
>NO ONE
>Make friends with Billy Bob and told him it was my birthday and this cool thing I got and I like cats and we bonded over some other thing but I talked to him on my own unprompted

I still think about Billy Bob the Sizzler employee sometimes. I hope for good things in his life. "Sizzler employee" isn't really indicative of good things, though (he was probably 35 at the time with a raging coke habit, an ex-wife, and a couple kids he never gets to see. I'm not sure).

[Anonymous No.6322130]

>>6322084
If i had done that, everyone would have immedialty noticed the mouse and i fearded they would kill it.

Plus, why would i take it home ? I mean, this mouse was really living there, and confortably. Imagine : eating free McDonald for the rest of your life...

[Anonymous No.6322149]

>>6322094
>Try to find some unlistenable experimental artist on jukeboxes so I can recreate that /mu/ greentext
>They never have anything good

[Anonymous No.6322161]

>>6322149
/r/ing aforementioned greentext

[Anonymous No.6322185]

>>6322161
here

[Anonymous No.6322215]

I went to a Denny's in Las Vegas one time and the server was like a 50 year old male but he was fucking ripped. Kind of gross considering i'm about to chow down.

[Anonymous No.6322217]

>>6322185
Hahaha
Fucken saved.

[Anonymous No.6322351]

>brothers want to go to mcdonalds
>resign my plea for Italian and accompany them
>sitting inna corner eating our meals
>some random trailer-park dwelling bitch cones through the front door cussing
>goes over to a man and teenage girl sitting at a table across the restaurant
>crazy old bitch starts saying, "Robert, what you're doing here with this...CHILD!..."
>her voice grows louder now
>"you done broke her heart! Her hear is broke!"
> chuckle at this stupid hick bitch
>dude and teen girl try to leave
>crazy old broad side-arms a cheeseburger
>cheeseburger hits dude in the face
>he threw a large soda at her
>more cussing
>"Robert, you just don't know how you broke Janine's heart! Caint you understand?! Her heart is BROKE!!!"
>they all finally leave after the manager threatens to call the cops

[Anonymous No.6322462]

I got a couple if people are willing to listen

>Going home after business convention
>Long day having to look interested while wearing suit and tie.
>Spot a hungry jacks (Burger king for those outside of Australia)
>Know it's crap, but I'm not wanting another microwavable dinner when I get to the hotel room
>fuckit.png
>Go inside and it's almost empty at 5 pm
>three guys and a couple at the other end of the place
>Don't care, I want my goddamn whopper
>Grab my meal and a couple onion rings and sit at a table.
>Start to dig in
>One of the guys gets up angrily
>Walks past me and can smell the drunk on him
>I even feel slightly tipsy after he walks past he was so drunk
>I'm amazed he still had enough coordination to be able to even walk, much less be conscious
>Walks up the counter and angrily demands to see the manager
>ohthisgonnabegud.avi
>Manager comes by and is totally polite with this guy
>Drunk guy starts wailing and yelling into her face about his burger
>"I said I wanted not just cheese but EXTRA CHEESE!"
>Manager is chilled and not even bothered by the guy, apologizing to him for it
>Drunk guy keeps it up, even pointing out the chick that served him in the cooking area
>Manager must've been going "oh fuck this shit" and just wishing this guy would shut up
>Finallly throws a half eaten burger on the counter and demands they fix it
>They take it in the cooking area, put a bit of cheese on it, and give it back to him
>He takes it and begins eating it again
>I'm surprised he didn't think to check to see if they spat in it first
>I'm trying my hardest not to laugh my ass off at him
>Later in my hotel room, I keep making jokes with my roommate about wanting not just ____ but EXTRA _____!

We still make jokes about that guy. If he'd only been a bit more nice about his burger, he would've gotten a free meal out of it.

[Anonymous No.6322517]

>>6322462

Another, please.

[Anonymous No.6322542]

>>6322462

>Going out to dinner one night
>Going to sizzlers
>Totally not crap in Australia
>This place even has steak, ribs, and food that would get you fucking laid.
>Expensive, but totally worth going
>Finally get in and ask for the "Quiet" section where they literally have a glassed off section where you can carry on a conversation
>Right as we sit down, not just one, but what looks like several little league soccer teams come in.
>Ohgodno.flv
>There is no way they can fit these kids in.
>Somehow they manage to.
>The only thing seperating us from them is the glass wall
>Its like watching a pride of lions feasting on a fresh kill or a school of pirahnas
>There's no way these kids are having a order of food delivered to these tables
>But they are
>Glancing into the kitchen and seeing the chefs, you can see they're preparing for a night from hell
>Looking over at my girlfriend, I see her pity in her eyes
>Know that I have to somehow brave the idiots that brought their pint-sized mongol hoard to get us some drinks and salad
>"If I don't make it baby, know that I loved you with all my heart"
>She holds onto my wallet and phone so no kids make off with em
>Make sure I have my brass knuckles in the event I need them
>Walk out like a spartan going off to war

Part two is incoming

[Anonymous No.6322553]

> go to subway
> only one worker there
> i am only customer
> order food
> makes bread and cheese and meat part
> two people walk in
> sets my sandwich aside to ask them what they want
> walk out

[Anonymous No.6322591]

>>6322542

>These kids are everywhere.
>These kids hadn't even had time to shower or clean up a bit
>It's like being in a mosh pit without the music
>Holding both plates, I walk over to the Salad bar
>These kids are practically ignoring anything that's vegetable or fruit related.
>Tongs? What are these things you call Tongs? We, the children of the damned, know not of this word of which you speak
>I make sure to load up on anything that they haven't touched.
>The soup area looks like a murder scene, complete with dead body (I assume the child had only fallen down)
>The dessert bar looks like like something from a starving third world country
>The pasta bar is empty
>The pasta bar is NEVER empty
>Over where the drink dispenser is, there are puddles on the floor
>thiscan'tbodewell.mov
>I make sure that its water and only water that I get. There's no way there's going to be any soft drink left.

Part three and the finale are next

[Anonymous No.6322594]

>>6322591

>With out stuff gotten, it's time to make it back safely.
>I move like I'm in a goddamn ballet.
>Kid's running everywhere, and I'm spinning this way and that to avoid crashing into the little darlings
>Make it back to our table and girlfriend grabs her plate and drink so I can set mine down as well
>She gives me a kiss and tells me how brave I was
>She lets me have all of our cheesy toast as a reward (which happens to be like getting a blowjob from cheese)
>Looking back out, I can see the other patrons who didn't ask for a "quiet" area and pity them for being tramatized by these little horrors
>Oddly enough, it provides us with plenty of entertainment while we wait for our food
>Still had the odd child run through our area, but it wasn't enough to make our meal unpleasent
>There is no such thing as tipping in australia
>People make more than enough to make up for not getting tips
>I leave a 20 dollar tip for our waitress, out of respect for her bravery and duty
>As we leave, I look back
>Our town has a huge military base in it. It's not uncommon to see people in fatigues walking around town
>I see military personnel balking at going inside
>One of them is visibly shaking
>I give him a salute and nod

That's how I survived a night from when 3 soccer teams descended upon sizzlers.
Also, when it comes to tipping, I normally tip about how much good service I got and how nice the waiter or waitress is. They totally earned it that night.

[Anonymous No.6322620]

>>6322594
Is this Brookside sizzler, by any chance? I know the child armies that accompany a sizzler visit very well. It's bedlam. Absolute bedlam. At least they don't touch the bread and butter pudding in winter. They don't like the sultanas.

[Anonymous No.6322625]

>>6322074
>Mouse is forced to let the nugget
>let the nugget
I didn't know Mennonites were allowed on the internet.

[Anonymous No.6322637]

>>6322620
>sultanas.

the what now

[Anonymous No.6322650]

>>6322185

Not quite as good, but...
>Be at a bar drinking alone.
>Post-game college crowd begins to fill the joint.
>They start playing Skynyrd and such on the jukebox.
>I get tired of this after a couple more drinks.
>Jukebox offers full CDs.
>Pump the machine with enough quarters to play Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety.
>Twice.
>Mood of the bar definitely gets somber.
>I leave after the first full play-thru.

[Anonymous No.6322652]

>>6321579
>inna diner
>watchan table of teens in the corner
>what are they..
>one in the corner is pissing into a soda bottle
>they left it there open under the table

[Anonymous No.6322653]

>>6322620
Nah, townsville bruh. The children are actually worse. At least you don't have children trying to make off with your food while you're eating it.

There are times though, where if I was the parent, some people would see me as either being a good parent, or a bad one.
>TFW you teach other people's kids when you're eating out to be absolute horrors when they're bothering you to their parents.

>>6322637
It's a thing they do for bread and butter pudding. Sultanas = raisins
As an american living down under, I have yet to understand it and other things. Like vegemite. I still suspect that they're trying to prank me when they try to get me to eat some.

[Anonymous No.6322714]

>>6322652
Oh my lord, had they been illegally drinking or something and were drunk?

[Anonymous No.6322729]

>>6322591
Certain things I don't like to use tongs to get, because they slip out easily, stuff like bread and chicken.

[Anonymous No.6322736]

>>6322130
I doubt they allowed it to continue living there. They probably hired an exterminator.

You could have just taken it home and fed him McDonalds everyday.

[Anonymous No.6322769]

>>6322650
You're in high school making up stories on 4chan

[Anonymous No.6322841]

>>6322119
A lack of experiential knowledge doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence. He probably was homeschooled for a significant portion of his younger years.

[Anonymous No.6322892]

>>6322653
Bread and butter pudding is a british thing.

[Anonymous No.6322929]

>>6321579
worked in one. god damn I miss you islander. my shitty fast food job is not near your level of chill. I would wish for a suck of your onions sulfuric dick if It would get me a better restaurant job elsewhere.

[Anonymous No.6322939]

>>6322149
Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney

[Anonymous No.6322948]

>>6322939
Fuck off Kevin

[Anonymous No.6322950]

>>6322769

nah I'm not even that poster and i would totally do this

[Anonymous No.6322955]

>>6322892
you'd be surprised how many Brits are here in Australia. Or how much british cuisine there is here.

[Anonymous No.6322957]

>>6322948
I'm eric

[Anonymous No.6323259]

>>6322957
don't you have some podcasts to edit, fag

[Anonymous No.6323284]

>offer to take mom out for lunch
>her pick
>she picks Denny's
> alright sure
>order a hamburger
>caterpillar in the lettuce

[Anonymous No.6323386]

>>6323284
Did you or her eat the caterpillar?

[Anonymous No.6323494]

>>6323284
How much extra did you have to pay for that?

[Anonymous No.6323518]

>>6323284

>caterpillar in the fucking lettuce

are you serious?

[Anonymous No.6323523]

>>6322653
shit man, I live in townsville too. Sizzlers worth checking out then? I'm a foreigner, never been to sizzlers before.

[Anonymous No.6323594]

>>6323523
Sizzlers is expensive (like, $28 for just the salad bar) but its worth it.

Just be sure to go on a weeknight and go early like around 5:30 or 6. It'll get busy fast.

[Anonymous No.6323623]

>>6321614
>The old man next to me spends the entire time busting my balls about 'You tryna' get some wrinkled pussy?'

thats hilarious

[Anonymous No.6325487]

>>6322553
lol'd

[Anonymous No.6325548]

>>6323518
>thing that lives in plants
>found in plant
woah blowing my mind

[Anonymous No.6326248]

>>6322650
>>6322185
I don't get how people can do this. Everywhere I've been with a jukebox either lets you pay to override the current track or it randomizes a bunch of peoples songs so no one is waiting an hour for one guys set to finish.