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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6133825 No.6133825 [Reply] [Original]

>The Mayor of Flavortown Burger $17
>The meat blanket of seasoned pastrami sends this burger outta bounds. Swiss, caraway seed slaw, dill pickles, onion straws, Dijon mustard + an "awesome pretzel bun" finish off this bad boy.

>> No.6133827
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6133827

>>6133825

>> No.6133828

suck my dick

>> No.6133834
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6133834

>Parmageddon Wings $13
>Our breaded chicken parmesan wings + apocalyptic marinara. They might not end the world, but they'll end your hunger!

>> No.6133840
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6133840

>Pic-a-Nik Sandwich $16
>Not your av-er-age turkey sandwich. Swiss cheese + citrus-cranberry relish, chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie smeared with Guy's famous donkey sauce.

>> No.6133845
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>Guy's Cheesecake Challenge $12
>A huge mountain of cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels + hot fudge.

>> No.6133849
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6133849

>Guy-talian Fondue Dippers ($13)
>Pepperoni-wrapped breadstick twists served alongside our smoky provolone + sausage cheese dip, topped with fresh tomato bruschetta.

>> No.6133851

>>6133840
>Guy's famous donkey sauce.

>> No.6133879

All of this looks and sounds fantastic

>> No.6133883

>>6133825
>>6133827
>>6133834
>>6133840
>>6133849
Would eat

>> No.6133891

>>6133827
looks really hard to eat
>>6133845
wtf
>>6133834
>>6133849
>>6133840
looks good to me

:-)

>> No.6133895
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6133895

The burger looks messy but delicious, other things look nice, the only thing I'm wondering about is why you would put chips and pretzels on a cheesecake

>> No.6133898

To be honest, it all looks good to me. Unfortunately that doesn't say much because oatmeal with milk looks good to me, so don't take my praise too highly I guess.

>> No.6133935

I imagine Guy Fieri's food to be much like Apple products: probably quite good but, really just not worth the price, and with infinitely better and cheaper options available.

>> No.6133956
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6133956

This stuff all looks like overpriced bullshit to me. There's at least one ingredient in each that ruins it.

Anyway, that fat bastard opened up a place in the mall next to where I work. With so free passes to eat lunch every option is not only appreciated but it's critical. They fucking closed FIVE lunch places, basically a whole food court, to make room for his bullshit.

One place was literally an indoor burrito truck. Very charming/chubby Mexican lady ran out and no matter what you ordered she insisted on filing up your plate even if it meant giving you extra stuff you didn't pay for.

Now we have 17$ hamburgers with Cole show on them that you have to reassemble before you can eat. What a poke in the ass.

>> No.6133957

>>6133956
Free pass should say few places

>> No.6133960

>>6133825
Wish I could be a narcissistic sociopath like Guy.
If I had this cunts level of confidence I would be unstoppable.

>> No.6134003
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6134003

>> No.6134051

>>6133935

what up /g/entooman

>> No.6134085

What is a donkey sauce and why does it sound like Guy Fire-e wrings it out of a donkeydong?

>> No.6134200

Just stopped in to say that this nigga looks exactly like that one guy who makes all the port where he sucks on giant titties

>> No.6134205

>>6134200
Meant to say porn

>> No.6134212

>>6133840
What the fuck? Donkey sauce?

>> No.6134214

>>6134212
I bet you fucking anything he calls it that because he uses words like redonkulous and he didn't want to call it redonkulous sauce. He's that big of a faggot

>> No.6134338

Donkey Sauce
1/4 cup roasted Garlic (minced)
1 cup Mayonnaise
4 dashes Worcestershire
1 teaspoon Hot Dog Mustard
1/4 teaspoon Kosher Salt
4 pinches ground Black Pepper

>> No.6134433

>>6133834

Tho are fucking weird-looking wings. What the hell kind of chicken did those come from?

>> No.6134641
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6134641

welcome to flavortown

>> No.6134647

>>6134214
he doesn't call it shit, don't think he had anything to do with his shitty restaurants beyond signing his name on a contract

>> No.6134654
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6134654

>>6134641
lol

>> No.6134671

>>6134641
The sad thing is that after reading his cookbook I can't really tell if this is real or not.

>> No.6134674

>>6134433
theyre trimmed into lollipops or something, to make it easier to eat them
im still angry about it

>> No.6134688
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6134688

>>6134641
>and a real hero

>> No.6134695
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6134695

>>6134641
I originally thought this thread was referencing that joke but eventually realized that he has a real restaurant.

>> No.6134697
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6134697

>>6133834
>apocalyptic marinara

>> No.6134705

>>6134671
XD it's so true and I'm so funny and original, right guys??

>> No.6134720

>>6134695

He has a few restaurants but I don't think he really has anything to do with running them. Like someone else said he probably just signed some document and gets like a cut of the profits for doing nothing.

The NYC @ time square got pretty terrible reviews and it's supposed to be expensive (time square though so yeah).

He used to (or still does?) have a show where he actually makes food rather than just visit diners and all the food he cooks is very basic so I don't think he has the chops for any type of professional chef job.

>> No.6134721 [DELETED] 

I don't see why anyone would hate his food as much as they do. For me, it's the personality that grates on me. I'm an extremely dull person, and I can't stand being around people who are always "on". His bouncing-off-the-walls personality just really turns me off.

When I read his menus, I roll my eyes at all the playful cleverness. Everything's got to be a joke, or play on words or something. And I imagine his restaurants are extremely loud and obnoxious to be in. It's how I imagine a Hard Rock Cafe. Tourists see something familiar and recognizable, so they eat there. Maybe they do it to be ironic, or maybe it's because they're just afraid of trying new things. I'm a boring person, but the last vacation I went on, nobody wanted to eat at the local restaurants. We ordered Domino's at the hotel, and ate at Burger King. I wanted to just go home and die.

Guy's food is more or less a parody of TGI Fridays. I can't see it as anything else. It's taking all those "memefoods" to an extreme. Bacon this, chicken wings that, cheese dip here, chili there.

I'd probably give the taste of the food high marks, but would probably dock the most points for the experience/atmosphere. It just plain fuckings sucks.

In a way, it's so boring and uninspired that even I can't find something appealing about it.

>> No.6134753
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6134753

>>6133849
>Guy-talian

I have never cringed this hard in my entire life

>> No.6134754

>>6134721

You basically just summed up why everyone hates on his food?

His personality is why most people hate on him and it's very valid. His food looks like a glorified and much costlier TGIF.

>> No.6134778

>>6134674

>trimmed

I'm scared to think of what happens to the scrap meat.

>> No.6134790

>>6133895
Probably for the saltiness, sweet and salty things generally go well together, and the crunch could give it a nice texture.

>> No.6134849

>>6134753

That made you cringe? Were you raised on a farm in a locked room? What else makes you cringe, people saying "Hello"?

>> No.6134885

>>6134671
I don't think a Guy Fieri restaurant would employ oblique T.S. Eliot references

>> No.6134905

>comes to cleveland
>goes to Sterli's Slovenian country home back before they changed owners
>the Lady cooking here is part owner and used to run the old Cleveland Hofbrau house kitchen before it closed
>probably made schnitzel for Hitler
>nicest lady ever
>he keeps making weird faces at her and being disagreeable
>laughs at her mediocre english
>criticizes using instant mashed potatoes and gets fucking told
>like he knows shit about cooking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=my613lHyqmo

Never 4get

>> No.6135268
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6135268

>>6134695
Oh dear God, my sides

>> No.6135278

>>6134705
fuck off

>> No.6135345

Fucking hell, whoever wrote the menu for this place must browse here. He has out Fieried the Fieri.

>> No.6135417

>>6133825

I usually hear his food being equated on the same level as anything you can get at Planet Hollywood. Greasy tends to be am adjective that comes up a lot with his restaurant food.

He's probably a fun guy to hang out with and have a drink with if you don't mind being a beta and tagging along in his shadow.

>> No.6135439

I wonder if Guy Fieri is self-aware or not

>> No.6135593

>>6133849
>topped with fresh tomato bruschetta

They don't seem to know what bruschetta is.

>> No.6135604
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6135604

>>6133849
>Guy-talian

lmao

>> No.6137590

the very best of tumblr for you guys. you can do it! come back with something to post!
http://guysflavortown.tumblr.com

>> No.6137591
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>> No.6137596
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>> No.6137604
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>> No.6137609

>>6134433

They're lollipop wings. You cut the skin and meat from the small end and push it all down, so it's an awesome hunk of meat without the mess.

>> No.6137614

>>6134754

Or TGIF is a now a much cheaper version of his stuff.

>> No.6137910
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6137910

>>6133840
>chillin' on
>>6133834
>apocalyptic
>>6133825
>outta bounds
>awesome

These should not be used as menu descriptors. They show a toddler-like ignorance of the concept that sometimes you should let your work speak for yourself. It's even more annoying when they're words like "apocalyptic," that don't mean jack. It's like the old adage says, "if you have to be the one to call yourself cool, you're not really cool."

>>6133849
>Guy-talian
Fucking don't.

I'd eat any of those, though. Don't get me wrong. Where's the rest of the menu?

>> No.6138833

>>6137910
>Where's the rest of the menu?
http://vegas.eater.com/2014/4/21/6237937/the-full-menu-prices-at-guy-fieris-vegas-kitchen-bar

>> No.6140620

>>6133956
maybe pack your own lunch fatty?