/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.6065831]

>Making a big pot of chicken soup
>add all the right herbs, spices and vegetables
>it has tons of chicken
>smells great
>tastes great
>add the noodles
>suddenly I see a bunch of black specks on the surface
>don't remember adding any spice that looks like that
>upon closer inspection, they're tiny insects that were in the noodle bag and floated to the surface after being boiled

Tell me your stories of those times you almost felt like quitting cooking forever. It will make me feel better.

[Anonymous No.6065865]

>>6065831
I'm pretty sure I would hardly have been perturbed by this. Just skim off the insects, and continue cooking the soup. Hell, leave them in for some extra protein.

[Anonymous No.6065871]

>See sideways toaster turned grill idea
>Season some bread with herbs and butter
>Put it in the toaster
>Going good so far
>Smoke starts coming from toaster
>Panic
>Don't want toast on floor, gotta get it off though
>turn off at wall
>automatically launches my toast on the floor

sad times

[Anonymous No.6065889]

>>6065865
>Hell, leave them in for some extra protein.

Why is this always the go-to justification? Personally I can't help but think of how much of their shit is in the food, since they're obviously not crawling outside of the bag/container to shit and then going back in to eat. And although it's microscopic shit, it still irks me. I get it though... yeah, we eat fecal matter by chance every day, but when you directly KNOW you're doing it with clear evidence, it just feels worse.

Honestly, when I don't bake bread for way too long, then I go and scoop out the flour from the ol' bag only to find a bunch of those fucking mites, I just can't do it. I know it will all get obliterated in the oven, but I can't. I go buy some fresh, clean(ER) flour that at least doesn't have living, matured insects inhabiting the bag. (recently remedied all that by storing my flour in the fridge).

[Anonymous No.6065917]

>>6065831
Are you boiling the noodles in the same pot as the soup? I always make the noodles and soup seperately.

[Anonymous No.6065921]

> put bread in toaster
> smell something burning
> ignore it
> haven't used toaster in a while so it's probably just dust or something
> toast pops up
> look inside toaster
> oh god what have I done!
My cats enjoyed their roasted mouse for dinner.

[Anonymous No.6065926]

>>6065871
d'aww

[Anonymous No.6065928]

>>6065889
Where the fuck do you get all that insects from? Sounds like it's your own fault for having a dirty place or maybe you're just living in some shithole country.

[Anonymous No.6065930]

>really damn hungry
>not much to eat around
>decide to make rigatoni with vodka cream sauce
>boil water, add pasta
>later pour into strainer which is sitting in sink
>sink drains too slowly
>water ends up submerging the lower levels of the pasta momentarily
>finish straining, add sauce etc
>eat first few bites, something is off
>eat more and realize this pasta tastes like dish soap
>so friggin hungry eat a bit more before giving up and throwing it away

someone had just washed the sink and left soap suds on/in it without rinsing it

[Anonymous No.6065932]

>>6065889
>>6065928
THIS. I've never had this insect problem you dirty fuck

[Anonymous No.6065934]

>>6065928
I live in USA, so yeah... a shithole country, you are right.

And anyway, I don't keep a dirty environment in my home, and the bugs will find their way into anything if given time and the right temperature conditions.

[Anonymous No.6065935]

>>6065934
No, you're a dirty self-hating american fagget. Thats your real problem.

>b-but the bugs will find a way with enough determination

No, you dirty piece of shit

[Anonymous No.6065938]

>>6065935
Wrong. Try again.

And USA is SHIT, you should know this.

[Anonymous No.6065941]

>>6065938
>i-its the bugs fault, they are very strong willed like from the movie never back down

Just shut the fuck up you living garbage dump, everything around you is filthy and you probably shower once a month

[Anonymous No.6065966]

>>6065935
Such things happen commonly enough with boxes of noodles. The paper can be chewed away so the bugs can get in, and with enough time they'll get through the thin plastic bag inside those boxes too.

[Anonymous No.6065979]

>>6065917
>Are you boiling the noodles in the same pot as the soup? I always make the noodles and soup seperately.
Next time I am going to do it that way. I realized after this whole failed project that the noodles end up soaking up all the broth anyway if you leave them in the pot. If I cooked the noodles in a separate pot I could have avoided this whole disaster.

[Anonymous No.6065982]

this happened today

>get $20 gift card for groceries, decide to do something special
>get everything for beef bourguignon, great meat, got me some pearl onions and a nice rhone wine
>everythings going fine, throw the baby in the oven
>forget to check on it for a long while
>when i finally check on it, realize the oven was too hot and its burnt beyond repair
>get takeout mongolian bbq
>eat that with my wine
>swallow bitter sadness

mistakes will be remembered

[Anonymous No.6065994]

>>6065982
We got burritos from Panchero's after the failed soup, but I would have been a lot happier if we had gotten to eat the soup I spent all evening working on. Even though I love burritos, fast food will never be anything more than a lazy substitute for a real home-cooked meal.

[Anonymous No.6065995]

>>6065889
>>6065934
>a bunch of those fucking mites

Weevils? Maybe I'm lucky but I've only ever had them with rice, whereupon I threw out the affected containers and tried not to think too hard about the last time I ate it. As far as I know this sort of contamination happens occasionally pretty much everywhere, but you make it sound like it's happening constantly which is really weird. Do you have weevils living in your house? Do you store your grains in sealed containers or do you just leave the bags sitting there open?

[Anonymous No.6066004]

>>6065995
OP here. There's two diffent anons with a bug problem in this thread, apparently. Mine seems to have only affected the noodles, which were only in bags which weren't sealed air tight, although I am going to clear out my pantry and see if there's anything else I should throw away. The bugs looked like little elongated black specks with tiny legs.

A few years ago we had a bug problem with a bag of organic rice my mom bought from the store that was pretty bad. The bag was never even opened, but it literally just looked like a bag of shit and dead bugs. Those bugs were a lot bigger, though, and at any rate it was years ago so the problem is probably not directly related. The lesson learned should be to not leave grain products in non-airtight containers for extended periods of time, and unopened packages should be kept in the basement fridge for long term storage.

[Anonymous No.6067215]

>>6065994
>panchero's
Iowa fag detected.

[Anonymous No.6067223]

http://www.fda.gov/Food/GuidanceRegulation/GuidanceDocumentsRegulatoryInformation/SanitationTransportation/ucm056174.htm

>Wheat Flour
>Action level:
>Average of 75 or more insect fragments per 50 grams
>Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams

Sleep tight /ck/.

[Anonymous No.6067239]

>13/14
>Mom's making chicken breasts that night, it's marinating in the fridge
>Ask if I can cook one myself, because I wanted to try cooking meat for myself for the first time
>She okays it
>Sear it in a pan on high
>Outside looks great, I think it's done
>Take it off the pan, cut it open
>Raw, almost jelly-like inside
>Dad tells me what I did wrong
>Cook it properly
>It's now dry and gross
>I was so disappointed in myself.

[Anonymous No.6067248]

>>6067223

[Antarctica No.6067254]

>>6065831
>get surprise baking urges at 11 pm
>make croissant dough, doing the turns at 2 am
>forget to refrigerate because sleep deprivation
>layers bursting everywhere, fucking smash my hand through it in rage and throw it in the garbage

That's back when I was working at Starbucks and doing shit like drinking quad espressos at 8 pm during closing shifts

Don't do drugs kids

[Anonymous No.6067255]

I was making spicy pork stew (maeundwaejijjigae).
So I get out the spicy paprika (kochugaru) and add a bunch to the stew.
White and black flecks float to the top of the stew: bugs and larvae. They infested the paprika.
So sad. The pig bone, mushroom and fish stock took four hours to make and the pork stew itself another hour on top of that. I am NOT throwing this out. So I did as >>6065865 said and skimmed it, then threw out the remaining paprika and bought hermetic jars from IKEA.
>i didn't tell anyone what I did and we ate it and it was delicious

[Anonymous No.6067275]

>>6065921
your nose must be broken to confuse burning bread or dust with burning animal

[Anonymous No.6067279]

>making chili in my slow cooker
>never made my own chili before, following recipe
>recipe calls for 3 teaspoons of cumin
>I put in 3 tablespoons
>cooked that shit all day long only to have it taste fucking awful when it was done
>feltbadman

[Antarctica No.6067285]

>>6067279
I had the same thing happen when accidentally swapped basil for bay leaves in a roast recipe. 5 bay leaves later, I had a disgusting pork shoulder

[Anonymous No.6067303]

>>6065889
Illogical grill detected.

[Anonymous No.6067354]

>>6067255
Hello anon who like korean food

[Anonymous No.6067360]

>>6065979
Im curious how old are you?
Also have you ever made instant noodles in your life?

[Anonymous No.6067363]

>>6067354
Annyeong!

[Anonymous No.6067364]

>>6067239
>not knowing how to cook chicken

[Anonymous No.6067371]

>>6067363
안뇽 ㅎㅎ 한국어할 수 있어요?
Huehuhuehuheu I live here
why is cheese so expensive and soju so cheap

[Anonymous No.6067391]

>>6067371
I can read and write it but I don't have any way to write on my phone other than in roman letters, which looks stupid. Not a native speaker, though.

Cheese is expensive because it's almost all imported. Soju is cheap because it's almost all domestic.

[Anonymous No.6067397]

>>6067391
Haha thats cool i find it hard to write in latin alphabet because I know theres two way and americans do it differently lol

Curious how/why korean?

[Anonymous No.6067401]

>>6065831
tough break, op.
i feel for ya

[Anonymous No.6067412]

>>6065938
If you weren't a filthy slob, you won't have to worry about bugs.
Never had a issue with bug in my noodles or rice.
Worst thing I've done was.
Trying to make a tempura recipe with using to little oil for frying. Became soggy and stuck to pan.
Fuck that noise.

[Anonymous No.6067414]

>>6067397
I speak German and Italian natively and when I moved to the US, I met a Korean girl who grew up in Germany and wanted to learn Italian, so I taught her basic Italian and she taught me basic Korean.
Her name was Yoojin, but when teaching her Italian, I insisted on calling her Eugenia.

I learnt to cook some Korean foods from her, too. That stew? With the bugs that I skimmed out? It was for us 'international students' back in university.
The school put all the foreign students into the same co-ed dorm hall and we rotated around trying to cook each others' cuisines.

[Anonymous No.6067440]

>>6067414
Oh cool story bro!
Korean grills are good ^^
International food is also^^

>pic not sure if related buttfuckit

[Anonymous No.6067461]

>>6067354
>>6067363
>>6067371
>>6067391
>>6067397
>>6067414
faggots

[Anonymous No.6067471]

>>6067461
>not knowing a hot korean girl into table games and watching porn
I feel bad for you.

[Anonymous No.6067512]

>>6067440
The Western porn dude is significantly more attractive than most men in Western porn.

[Anonymous No.6067923]

I just wanted to say that I live in Spain and never have I ever encountered weevils in my flour and rice or stones amongst my pulses. Checking for stones went out 20 years ago when technological developments meant that it's nigh impossible to find a packet with stones. Also I've never heard of anyone who stored flour in an airtight container getting weevils appear.

[Anonymous No.6067950]

Not quite cooking but

>be at grocery store
>grab a 6-pack bag of bagels from the refrigerated section and toss it in my cart
>get to checkouts
>lift up bag to put it on counter
>thick, black-grey mold covering the entire bottom side of the package
>show it to cashier
>OHHHHHHH MY GOD

After that incident now I only buy the fresh bagels from the bakery section.

[Anonymous No.6067956]

>>6067440

it makes me depressed to see people work hard and create something mediocre that was supposed to be funny

[Anonymous No.6068015]

>>6065831
Similar thing OP, I called the company up and they send me a bunch of manufacturer coupons for free pasta

[Anonymous No.6068034]

>>6067471
>no gf

[Anonymous No.6068112]

>>6065871
Thats kawaii as fuck anon

[Anonymous No.6068142]

>Decide to make some risotto
>Got these mushrooms too, aw yeah dinner is gonna be good
>Start cooking
>Realize that I'm out of white wine
>But I have mirin!!

Never again, never fucking again

[Anonymous No.6068168]

>>6067364
yes that's the point
he was 13 and had never cooked meat before
did you read

[Anonymous No.6068177]

>>6067255
>maeundwaejijjigae
stop it

[Anonymous No.6068179]

>>6065831
You want to know a great secret for chicken noodle soup? Try tofu shirataki noodles, just pour them out of the bag, drain them and cut them into bite sized pieces with a pair of kitchen shears, they never get soggy, they have a great texture for soup and they add zero calories to the dish

[Anonymous No.6068433]

>>6067223

[Anonymous No.6068461]

>post christmas last year
>tons of cold meats and cheeses in the fridge
>make my wife and me a plate each of thinly sliced hams, beef, turkey, sausage
>5 different cheese, perfectly portioned
>bunch of different awesome breads
>crackers
>pickle
>relishes
>make a salad and a dressing
>toss, add it to each plate
>little slice of pork pie on each
>bit of leftover quiche too
>looks pretty awesome
>couple of glasses of rioja
>carry it all through to living room
>here you g-
>trip over my feet
>wine and food go everywhere
>wine ruins carpet
>carpet ruins food

[Anonymous No.6068542]

>>6068168
I knew how to cook chicken when I was 13.... I started cooking when I was 11/12

[Anonymous No.6068544]

>>6068179
>Dat fishy smell

Puts me off a lot it seems so unnatural to me.

[Anonymous No.6068550]

>>6068544
Rinse them thoroughly to get rid of the smell.

[Anonymous No.6068553]

>>6068542
That's a really cool story. Thank you for sharing, bro.

[Anonymous No.6068555]

>>6068542
I knew how to genetically modify a chicken to cook itself when I was 13.... I started thinking of this response when I was 11/12

faggot

[Anonymous No.6068558]

>>6067255
They apparently don't affect flavor and might just add a bit of protein. I don't like them though. I read online that people put bay leaves in the containers of goods to keep weevils out. Ever since I've done it, almost two years, I've not seen any weevils.

[Anonymous No.6068600]

>>6068555
>>6068553
I'm so sorry to hear your parents didn't trust you in the kitchen when you were children

[Anonymous No.6068609]

>>6065831
I got little bastards like that in a bag of masa harina once, fucking nasty shit.

Also a couple times with cereal when I was a kid, put cereal in bowl, fill bowl with some milk, and these little floaters pop up. Fucking vile shit!

[Anonymous No.6068627]

>going to make chili
>soak beans overnight
>get everything ready to cook
>there are ripples in my chili beans soaking
>fucking roach is doing laps trying to get out
>hose down apartment with RAID indoor/outdoor, take everything off shelves, and call apartment complex to take care of it
>place gets hosed down professionally and two neighbors evicted for leaving multiple garbage bags.... in their apartment... for weeks
Oh do I hate people.

[Anonymous No.6068638]

>>6068627
>beans
you know exactly where this is going

[Anonymous No.6068639]

>>6068638
No, the neighbors were both from Chicago. Well the females were.

[Anonymous No.6068993]

>working at restaurant
>freezer is in total disarray due to pastry chef losing his shit
>looks like we're out of prefab onion rings (yeah it's that kind of place)
>ask the waitress for a pitcher of red, whip up some beer batter, slice onions... you know, fucking onion rings
>chef comes in, sees what I'm doing and proceeds to throw a pre-heated skillet at me.
>speechless for about two seconds, raise an eyebrow to cover, then let him have it with both barrels... grab my knife bag, walk out with the santoku I cut the onions with in my hand, held like a weapon in case he tried something else.

I didn't cook at home for a month, and the only restaurants I've worked at since are fast food

[Anonymous No.6069010]

>>6067363
>Annyeong!

As much as I enjoy Arrested Development this is /ck/. If you want to talk about characters from the show go to /tv/

[Anonymous No.6069036]

>>6068993
Wait, why did he suddenly attack you?

[Anonymous No.6069039]

>>6068461
>being a clumsy faggot

your wife thinks less of you now

[Anonymous No.6069041]

>>6069036
it's that kind of place

[Anonymous No.6069043]

>>6068542
too bad you still dont know how to not look like a stupid faggot on the internet, maybe by the time you are 15 you will learn.

[Anonymous No.6069057]

>>6065889
Thank you for saying what needed to be said.

[Anonymous No.6069069]

>>6068142

it was way to sweet wasn't it?

[Anonymous No.6069070]

Seems like nearly every time I cook a new dish or even bake something, even incredibly simple things I manage to fuck it up royally. One example that I do recall

>Making a cookie thing that has caramel, short bread, and chocolate
>Get some water in the chocolate while it's melting and panic, instead of properly adding something to enhance the taste and reliquify it I add some oil because I recalled incorrectly that was supposed to fix it
>End up with oily chocolate paste shit
>Shortbread doesn't come out right and ends up tough as rocks for some reason I can't figure out
>Caramel is the only thing that goes close to right and even that is kind of burnt
>end up putting it all together into an awkward embodiment of failure

I don't think I am cut out for this, or anything more complex than putting a carrot on a plate.

[Anonymous No.6069075]

>>6069036
for the extra $0.05 per serving? I worked out the cost after I made the batter. I hope he found it. That nickel could have been the make or break for the restaurant, seeing as how much profit was being skimmed by the chef and management... no fucking idea. I've only worked with violent Ramsay wannabes, and I've not heard much better from other kitchen staff. I've come to learn that not all chefs are like that, but that I'm better off to assume they are.

[Anonymous No.6069647]

>making peanut butter cookies
>forgot to put in the peanut butter

They were still okay, but I felt like a retard.

[Anonymous No.6070040]

>>6065831
I'd have eaten it with no qualms.

[Anonymous No.6070058]

>>6065831
>forgot to do rue before adding wine
jk tho, simple mistake. didnt bother me much.

[Anonymous No.6070074]

>>6065831
>Boiling pasta
>Giant grease fire breaks out
>Kitchen is destroyed
>After staring at the gun for hours, I squeeze of one round of russian roulette
>Survive
Fuck this.

[Anonymous No.6070117]

I usually empty out packages of dried things onto a plate so I can make sure that they are clean.

I used to get this one thing all the time that always looked like it had dried insects in it. By putting them on a plate and looking at it closely, I can confirm that it is flakes of spices and not insects.

[Anonymous No.6070166]

>>6065831
Not cooking, but

> Order a triple R&R, neat
> Drink half
> Look in glass
> About six dead fruit flies floating in it

Couldn't drink whiskey for a week.

[Anonymous No.6070168]

>>6070166
why? alcohol is desinfecting.

[Anonymous No.6070171]

>>6065831
Call me a faggot but considering that they were probably boiled for quite some time, I'd probably eat it anyway.

[Anonymous No.6070236]

>>6068638
>Implying that originally the most common filler for chili was not beans
>Implying meat somehow was more economically then beans as a filler
You are retarded if you think that meat ended up in chili more often then beans. It was original compacted blocks of dried chilis and such to be tossed in boiling water over a fire. You used whatever filler you could get your hands on to make it more filling ie beans.

[Anonymous No.6070364]

>>6065930
That reminds me of when I attempted to eat food that had been rendered inedible (even though I didn't cook it).
>it's Friday night
>my friend and I order a pizza
>we have to drive back and forth twenty minutes because we live in a small town without good pizza places.
>finally, we return to his place with the pizza
>he opens the boxes and we rejoice at the beautiful pie we are about to devour
>he reaches above the pizza to get a couple of glass plates
>it slips from his fingers
>the plate shatters right on top of the pizza
>as we are still shocked by what has just happened, another plate crashed down onto the ruined pizza out of spite
>we are so hungry that we pick the glass off of a few pieces and attempt to eat them
>crunch
>we make the wise decision to throw the pizza away

[Anonymous No.6070381]

>>6065934
Where do you keep your dry food like pasta? If it is in a completely sealed (at least with respect to insect size) then there shouldn't be any contamination. Life does not spontaneously come into existence because conditions for life are favorable.

[Anonymous No.6070390]

>>6065941
Once a month! Rich bitch detected.

[Anonymous No.6070392]

>>6067401
It's the never obsolete sticker that really makes it.

[Anonymous No.6070398]

>>6065982
You sick fuck!

[Anonymous No.6070417]

>>6067279
Blindly following recipes is never a good way to go. 3 tablespoons of any spice is a huge red flag, unless your make a recipe in bulk for a banquet or something. One of the few times I actually tried baking muffins, I did the same thing, except I added 2 tbs of baking powder vs 2 tsp. Those muffins burnt my tongue.

[Anonymous No.6070447]

>>6068993
That's what you get for showing initiative...

[Anonymous No.6070936]

>>6068627
>two neighbors evicted for leaving multiple garbage bags.... in their apartment... for weeks
that's not how evictions work you liar

[Anonymous No.6070940]

>Drunk
>Chili dog hunger
>Cook some hot dogs and chili and dice some onions up
>Put on plate and head down to the basement to eat while I finish my games
>Drop on floor covered in dog hair, upside down
>Still ate it

[Anonymous No.6070997]

>be 13/14
>be cooking spag bol for family
>all going well
>chopped up onions, capsicum etc
>grated carrot
>various herbs
>meat
>chuck it all on the heat
>add crushed tomatoes
>leave for awhile
>come back, all burnt to bottom
>break down and cry for about 2 hours coz I can't cook
>be me now
>be 18
>great cook
>love self

[Anonymous No.6071048]

>>6070997
Your younger self sounds like a bitch. Have you been bullied in HS?

[Anonymous No.6071861]

>>6070381
you're right, in a lot of cases bug eggs already come in the package from the processing plant; this is why you should always freeze your grains for a day or two after you buy them

[Anonymous No.6071870]

>>6067223
>average
>not median
of course there's going to be a shit ton of insect fragments in a completely infested bag of flour fucking up the mean

[Anonymous No.6071879]

>Be making pumpkin pie while sleep deprived
>Putting in cinnamon
>Leave cinnamon jar on counter bc I'm a lazy bastard
>Pie is ready, put it in the oven
>Take a shower while its cooking, come back considerably more awake
>See curry jar on counter
>Curry
>I put curry in a pumpkin pie
>Then realize I forgot the sugar
And that's why I don't bake while exhausted anymore

[Anonymous No.6071922]

>Just got an enormous slow cooker
>Want to put it to good use by cooking something for my whole family
>Set alarm and wake up very early in the morning so I can prepare a delicious beef shin stew
>Everything going smoothly, smells delicious.
>Go back to bed, then run some errands during the day
>Everyone will be arriving soon
>Go to check on stew
>Slow cooker is unplugged

[Anonymous No.6071938]

I mistook powdered sugar for flour

[Anonymous No.6071946]

>>6067950
>Get sandwich from grocery store
>Last one of my favourite kind
>Take it to the cashier
>"Wait, I think this has some mould on it" she says
>It was just some lettuce that had fallen out
>"No, I'm pretty sure that's just..."
>"I can't let you buy this, it's spoiled"
>She throws it in the bin next to her

Okay I guess I'll just have a subpar lunch then