/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5929304]

You pull up to the store, and already 20 cars are ahead of you. Everyone decided to try and sneak to In-and-Out before the lunch rush. It's 9AM. And you're making it impossible for anyone parking in the parking lot for the neighboring shops to leave, but you don't care.

At about 9:20AM you finally get to the voice box, and you place your order. You want it stacked high, stacked full, and a shit-ton of fries, with a giant drink. They don't give a shit, because FUCK Supersize Me. Then they ask you if you want it in a box, or a bag. The correct and only answer is a box. If you say bag, your foreigner is showing.

Now the smells of carcinogens and fry oil are causing your stomach to devour itself. Your stomach rumbles as you slowly inch forward, trying to claim the prize that is yours, a box full of oil and happiness.

It's 9:40 by the time you get to the window, and you don't blame them. Even the seating area is packed full of conservative Americans, or liberal hipsters, or Mormon teens going on double dates. You wait another five minutes after paying, your soda gathering sweat because the window has accumulated so much heat from engine exhaust.

You finally get your tray of food, and a shit-ton of salt and ketchup. You tell the cashier there is a mistake – you didn't order this much food. She smiles, winks, and tells you to have a good day before closing the window. Turns out, you're not being scammed here. You're being loved. They love you here. Mostly because you're giving them a shit ton of revenue, but they still love you.

You drive around for another five minutes, trying to find a place to park because you're not coordinated to drive with your knees while you eat. It's finally 9:50 before you get your lunch meal, and you look at it. It's beautiful.

[Anonymous No.5929305]

You look at your boat of fries, and you look at the giant burger. You take a bite out of the burger. Juices flush into your mouth, oil and grease filling every nook and cranny in your gums. The taste of meat, onions, and cheese fuck your tastebuds so hard they have an orgasm. You cough, saliva shooting out as an ejaculation of pleasure. There's a tear in your eye. It didn't even hurt to cum.

You gently put the burger down, realizing it's too good to eat first. You smother your fries in ketchup, and you delicately try to eat one. And then two together. Four. Eight. Soon you're a claw machine game, your hands and arms becoming covered in sweetened tomato paste as you inhale these perfectly fried potato strips, until there's nothing left but a red, soggy paper boat. You lick your fingers and elbows, cleaning the mess, and then go back to the burger.

Because you waited, the juices set, and the flavor is more powerful than before. All of the ingredients have married, and your nose inhales the pungent aroma of wonderful cow. You eat your burger, slowly, but soon you chomp at it, needing – no, REQUIRING – more. You consume it all. You're a good little fat girl.

You drink you giant soda, and look longingly at the crumbs of your former meal. With much sadness, you longingly look at the massive line of cars. Realizing you will have no more opportunities at this out to eat at this fine establishment, you drive home.

Specifically, you go 5MPH slower than the speed limit in the left lane, out of spite for the world for denying you endless In-and-Out.

[Anonymous No.5929311]

>>5929304
They don't open that early.

[Spitface No.5929314]

Sorry to much to read you writing a book?

[Anonymous No.5929319]

That is exactly how it is in my dreams, OP. Yeah I wish we had In-N-Out in the northwest.

We do have Dick's Drive-In though, which is pretty good.

[Anonymous No.5929321]

>>5929314

>autism

[Anonymous No.5929325]

>Didn't turn into porn

Shit/10

[Anonymous No.5929366]

>>5929319
I live in Cali. I can have In-N-Out whenever I want.

But I don't, because it's just not that good. The fries are limp and bland, and I've had better burgers at Wendy's. I don't get why people love it so much.

[Anonymous No.5929370]

>>5929366

5 guys master race reporting in.
All hail!

[Anonymous No.5929371]

Dammit OP.

[Anonymous No.5929374]

>>5929370
HEIL!

[Anonymous No.5929392]

>>5929366
Oh cmon. Wendy's?

[Anonymous No.5929410]

honestly if you dont live on the west coast you should probably just fucking die

i know i would

[Anonymous No.5929416]

>Hey have you ever eaten Five Guys?
Bro what the fuck that's gay why would you ask that?
>n-n-no I meant the restaurant!
Just go away, you're not my friend any more
>B-BUT!
Fuck off faggot


>Hey have you ever eaten In-n-Out?
Yeah man it's delicious, the best restaurant in America. West coast exclusive too because west coast is best coast
>Yeah I agree what do you like from there?
I like a double double animal style with a Coke
>Yeah, good stuff man, good stuff.

[Anonymous No.5929425]

>>5929392
I'm serious.

I mean, compared to burgers you can make at home, they're not great. They're just better than In-N-Out.

[Anonymous No.5929440]

>>5929416
>So you guys ever did the In-n-Out thing with double animal penetration?
yo wtf you're gay
>no no not in-n-out like penis in-n-out of anus, i meant the restaurant
ewwww wtf man

[Anonymous No.5929461]

>>5929304
>in-n-out
>open at 9am

0/10 fuck off

[Anonymous No.5929464]

>>5929305
>good little fat girl

jesus christ is this how landwhales get off?

[Anonymous No.5929475]

>>5929410
suit yourself m8

[Anonymous No.5929477]

Its one of the things I miss most about L.A.

There's a 'five guys' up here, but I can't be bothered.

In 'n' out is so good.

[Anonymous No.5929485]

>>5929440
I would love to smell her farts. She can even poop on my face if she liked.

[Anonymous No.5929496]

>>5929475
wow dude cool you finally got lights in the arctic tundra cave you troglodytes live in

[Anonymous No.5929841]

>>5929416
faggot alert!! wooo wooo wooo wooo !!

[Anonymous No.5931105]

>>5929305
>You smother your fries in ketchup

literally pig disgusting, immersion ruined.

[Anonymous No.5931287]

Whenever I go there for lunch the line is huge but there's some employees out there taking down orders from all the cars out there so that they can work on more orders without everybody having to get to the intercom box. The line moves fast. Does not every In-N-Out do this?

[Anonymous No.5931304]

>>5929304
>The correct and only answer is a box. If you say bag, your foreigner is showing.
Fuck the box. It's so much easier to salt and eat the fries while you're driving with the bag.
The only time you should ever get the box is if you want your fries to get cold by the time you drive home, or you have more than two other people in the car that are going to eat while you drive.

[Anonymous No.5931309]

I know you are trying to make some epic copypasta or archived thread or something, so sorry to tell you but your writing just isn't very good. This was somewhat laborious to read and not at all funny. Keep working at it, friend-o

[Anonymous No.5931566]

>>5931105
This. You dip them in ketchup, not caring about double dipping, you're alone.

[Anonymous No.5931582]

>>5929370
FIVE GUYS A SHIT! A SHIIT!

[Anonymous No.5933379]

you know i went to a in and out because you faggots were shilling it over five guys. and i got to say i don't see what the hubbub is about i got a cheese burger with onions and tomato on it ant the onions were as thick as the patty and over powered EVERYTHING on the sandwich. it was the worst burger i have eaten in a long time, fucking McDonalds was better than it. when i pulled the onion off i couldn't taste the meat just the bun and the tomato. that being said the tomato was the best tomato i have a had on a burger in a very long time. everything else was just there and the fries were bland as shit. and dont try and give me the "you have to get it animal style" if i have to drown out all the food with some "special sauce" to even remotely like it the food is still shit. unless i got a really bad in and out that somehow went under the radar from corporate or whatever, i can honestly say I'm never going there again. I'm not going to compare it to five guys because they do things so differently its pointless.

[Anonymous No.5933419]

keep craving oklahoma joes but every time I've gone there I've had to wait in a line outside for like 2 hours. fucking sucks

[Anonymous No.5933428]

You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.

[Anonymous No.5933474]

>>5929392
wendys at least used to be better. i cant say that now after Dave croaked they went straight into the shitter. i would get mcdonalds over in-n-out though its really not any better and you have to wait as long as a better place. not to mention how bad the fries are.

[Anonymous No.5933524]

>>5933474
The one time I went to Wendy's it was just mopped by a simpleton who may have had downs syndrome and it smelt like piss. The downy then took my order and took about 10 minutes to get it to me.

[Anonymous No.5933547]

>>5931304
the box is for in-car eating not for taking home

[Anonymous No.5933629]

I'm in LA and in-n-out is fucking shit.
They're shakes especially are disgusting trash, when it melts it turns into some airy, chalky shit, I doubt it's even real ice cream.
Fries are always soggy and too thin, animal style should be called sodium style.
The burgers taste like oily beef and shit cheese.

The Habit is the GOAT burger spot, followed by FatBurger.
Bring on the anal devestation, i aint even mad.

[Anonymous No.5933700]

>>5933629

>not going to good burger home of the good burger

[Anonymous No.5933785]

>>5933524
they have never been consistent. that about sums up my experiences in the past 2 years though. they used to be a lot better. haven't been to a good one in forever. now i consider it the worst chain.