/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5681397]

Buffet thread

share buffet stories

When I was 13 I went to a chinese all you can eat place. I was drinking a cup of water after every plate

then when we were done I vomited food all over near the cash register

my aunt paid them a hundred and we left

it was embarrassing and funny

I'm 22 now

[Anonymous No.5681403]

>>5681397
since I was a little kid, whenever I go to Ponderosa I get little ham bits from the salad section and ladle nacho cheese over it.

[Anonymous No.5681411]

>>5681403
Aw yeh Ponderosa. I like to make a 'salad' out of the cubed ham, shredded cheese, bacon bits and then I drizzle thousand island dressing on it. It's delicious and disgusting at the same time.

Anyways, at my local Japanese/Chinese buffet, I saw a group of guys doing a sushi eating competition and the guy who won ate something like 50 rolls in 10 minutes and the staff got pissed at them and asked them to stop and the guys threatened to sue them.

[Anonymous No.5681453]

>>5681397
>All you can eat place
>Me and buddy just got off work and haven't eaten all day
>The rule is that you get one plate and once you leave the buffet area you cannot go back for more
>challenge accepted
>after about 10 minutes I end up with a stack of food on my plate bigger than my head
>burger patties, fries, mac n cheese, corndogs, mashed potatoes, cornbread, chili
>layer upon layer all separated by pancakes that are a bit bigger than the actual plate and work excellent as layer-dividers
>servers look at me and shake their heads
>manager just glares at me
>walk by a table on the way to mine and watch their eyes go wide and then they look back down to their measly little plate as I grin like a idiot
>spend the next 4 hours alternating between chowing on food and bullshitting with my buddy(who had a decent-sized plate as well) over some beers
>Then we head over and ask for a desert plate(little things, same rules as before)
>layer of cookies, whip cream, layer of brownies, soft serve ice cream, layer of cherries and bananas with more whip cream, topped with nuts and a healthy dose of caramel
>bill came out to ~$20 for both of us($5.99 lunch deal + beers)
>the manager tries not to sound pissed when he tells us to have a good day and be back soon
>we laugh and tell him we'll be back tomorrow and he walks away cursing to himself

[Anonymous No.5681504]

>>5681411
>It's delicious and disgusting at the same time.
But mostly disgusting.

[Anonymous No.5681537]

I saw an asian woman eating oysters on the half shell and she was gyrating her legs together and apart

I wish I can sniff her crotch

[Anonymous No.5681545]

I finally tasted sushi for the first time a few days ago in a cheap chinese buffet.

It was not bad, it just tasted vinegary and soft.

[Anonymous No.5681546]

>>5681453
>tfw I think I became the reason that my Chinese place started charging take out buffet by weight

It used to be a fixed price for a take out box at the buffet, then I decided to go full retarded each week there to the point where the box was bulging (I made rice at home because fuck wasting space on rice) and after a month they changed it to price per pound or something. Also their owner died so thats what they get for being mean.

[Anonymous No.5681607]

bulimic. fucking. free for all.

[Chinese etiquette No.5681611]

There was a Chinese buffet where I used to go on my own. The guys running it quickly recognized me as one of the "unprofitable customers" and sent their staff to broom under my legs and make me feel unconfotable while I are.

[Anonymous No.5681618]

>>5681453
how fat are you guys?

[Anonymous No.5681641]

>>5681611
Asking them to stop and cause a scene if they don't would work. Only have to do it once.

[Anonymous No.5681654]

>>5681453
You know, they *can* actually ban people from their premises if they want to.

[Anonymous No.5681657]

I thought wasabi was a green pudding so I got it on my plate and put a whole spoonful in my mouth.

[Anonymous No.5681671]

>>5681641
yeah, because then you get kicked out

[Anonymous No.5681675]

>>5681657

I put a spoonful of wasabi on a single piece of sushi and ate it

it made me choke on my tears

[Anonymous No.5681678]

>>5681397
>be 12 years old, 19 now
>move to a new town
>there's a chinese buffet within walking distance
>fuck yes
>the whole family decides one say to go
>it only costs 15 dollars a person
>I could go here every week
>people who work at the buffet are chinese
>little brother suddenly gets the idea to say "ching chong ding dong"
>pleaseno
>my parents think it's funny
>they start going "ping ling ying yang"
>whyareyoudoingthis
>my sister puts the chopsticks in her houth resembling buck teeth
>"A-WERCOME-A TO MY RESTAURANT DO YOU RIKE-A PUPU PRATTER"
>why
>we're asked to leave
>family doesn't know why
>I never go back

[Anonymous No.5681680]

>>5681671
And thats how they get sued or a lot of lost customers. Trust me I'm an expert.

[Anonymous No.5681681]

>>5681678

White people problems

[Anonymous No.5681696]

>>5681680
>we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason

also

>trespassing

[Anonymous No.5681735]

I have a fat friend who always tries to manipulate everyone to go out to an all you can eat sushi buffet, she also has an awful habit of greeting people by saying "ah herro" in a cutesey voice. She is white obviously. I never take her out to any asain food places anymore.

[Anonymous No.5681744]

>be german
>be on exchange to south 'straya
>family obv. has to show me the 'german town' a playce where people from germany once settled
>is as expected a big bavaria styled shithole that has nothing to do with germany
>go to 'german bufet restaurant'
>onyl germna thing they have is potatos, sausage and sauerkraut
>don't even have german beer
>all other shit is asain

[Anonymous No.5681749]

>>5681397
went to a Chinese buffet yesterday
they had pizza rolls and fries as items
I told the Chinese guy working the kitchen to deep fry those bitches and he did
they were great

[Anonymous No.5681755]

>>5681696
I know but you ca easily create bad publicity for them outside the establishment till they lift the ban. Its not slander if you base it around what they did and how they acted when you broke no rules. Done it plenty of times anon.

[Anonymous No.5681775]

>>5681755
you're a piece of shit

[Anonymous No.5681782]

>>5681755

How much fucking time do you have on your hands?

Also, you're a dick.

[Anonymous No.5681791]

>>5681611

I'd probably accidentally spill plenty for them tp clean up.

[Anonymous No.5681883]

>>5681755
>typical yelper mentality
Are you a young Asian-American female?

[Anonymous No.5681901]

No story, just strategy.

At brazillian steak places, you usually pay a fixed price for all you can eat.

1) do not eat anything from the salad bar
2) do not eat the chicken or pork.
3) picanha and garlic rubbed steak all day
4) try to get a seat near where the meat comes out so that you can get the earliest cuts. this is because after a larger piece like a top sirloin goes back on the rotisserie, it will generally be salted again and probably too salty, making you thirsty.
5) minimize your water intake.

This will ensure that you leave with three pounds of delicious steak in your stomach.

[Anonymous No.5681903]

>>5681453
>all you can eat
>only allowed one plate
What kind of bullshit restaurant is this?

[Anonymous No.5681922]

More protip

At indian buffets, never put naan, pappadam, or roti on your plate. Its' a waste of plate real estate.

Instead, either use a small plate for the bread objects, or clamp them UNDER your plate, thereby freeing up more space.

Minimize your rice intake.

[Anonymous No.5681945]

>>5681901
This.

>Go to friend's bday dinner at Brazilian BBQ AYCE
>$45 a head
>Some of them get large amount of salad or cheap filler items
I mean I get a little bit something else so it's not 100% meat but they were loading on filler.

[Anonymous No.5681949]

>>5681901
water is good it aids digestion just not in huge amounts
take small sips it will increase the speed which things go into your intestines because it needs to be a wet goop
also eat a bunch of lettuce a few hours before
as much as you can cram inside your stomach as fast as you can
its a ancient Chinese hot dog eating secrete

[Anonymous No.5681962]

>>5681901
But the Forgo due Chao "salad" bar is as good as the meat.

24 Month, Aged Parmesan
Aged Manchego Cheese
Prosciutto
Brazilian Hearts of Palm
Artichoke Bottoms
Sun-Dried Tomatoes

Fresh Mozzarella
Smoked Salmon
Italian Salami
Jumbo Asparagus
Tabbouleh
Shitake Mushrooms

Plus more shit.

[Anonymous No.5681963]

The penny pinching fatty mentality is strong here.
What about taking what you like and eating until you're full?
What is this "wasted space" bullshit?
I bet you think eating until you're sick is "Getting your moneys worth" you fat hogs.

[Anonymous No.5681964]

@all

restaurants want to make money... even with an all you can eat buffet..
so generally the food at the buffet is not worth the money you paid for... never...

[Anonymous No.5681972]

>Go to Japanese Seafood buffet $25 + tax/10% tip (self serve)
>Eat some sushi pieces and little things
>The main course is crab legs
>Load up on butter and alaskan crab legs
>Non-stop cracking of legs and dipping the meat
>By the end of the night there's a pile of empty shells
>The damage to the buffet has been done
>Got my moneys worth

[Anonymous No.5681976]

>>5681963
Fuck I hate that kind of person

>b-but I won't be full
>French food is weird!

Bitch it's just poultry fish and beef, same as you always eat, and there's plenty of food. Not my fault you couldn't figure out that entrée doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Anonymous No.5681979]

I like the deep fried spiced crab clusters
carved meats are always shit except for one time I went on thanksgiving they had good turkey

[Anonymous No.5681982]

>>5681962

That's the trap nigga.

[Anonymous No.5681990]

>>5681744
Junge, schreib bitte korrekt.

[Anonymous No.5681999]

>>5681972
>crab leg buffet
I only eat the easy meat lol
anything that takes more than two cracks to get all the meat out I wont even bother with
I basically only eat the first two segments of the legs

[Anonymous No.5682003]

>>5681982
>eating a vegetable is a trap

Muh munnys worth! Vegan is against me!

[Gordon Ramsay !E/kAmOO7UE No.5682010]

>>5681744

They didn't have currywurst, the most authentic german food ever?

[Anonymous No.5682016]

>>5682003

>vegan against me

Stop putting words into my mouth, and continue putting dicks into yours.

[Anonymous No.5682025]

>>5681397
Never been to a good buffet restaurant. Only greasy asian ones where the food looks as if it's been sitting out all day at a lukewarm temperature, marinating in grease.
tfw all my friends think this is really good food and good because you can eat until you vomit your guts out and it doesn't cost any more than if you ate like a conscious human being with self-restraint.

Try to find something vaguely healthy.
Even vegetables are dripping with grease.
That glorious feel when there is sushi.
That disappointment when it's bland as fuck.

Fuck cheap asian buffets.

I'd rather pay extra for a decent meal. Portion sizes are large at restaurants as it is.

[Anonymous No.5682028]

>go to KFC buffet
>eight bucks plus tax for all the chicken, biscuits and veggies you can eat
>eat breakfast at like 10 that day
>don't eat anything until the buffet
>get to the buffet at 6:30 with my friend who did the same thing
>eat as fast as we can because we'll get full if we stop eating
>I ended up eating fourteen pieces of chicken and at least a half dozen biscuits
>got my money's worth

[Anonymous No.5682030]

>>5682025
go to vegas

[Anonymous No.5682036]

>Wok
>they constantly stare at you to make you feel awkward
>they place other people on the same table as you
>do there best to make you leave as soon as possible
>constantly attempt to take your plates or fork and knife away to stop you from getting any more

I moved to Spain never seen a Wok before but holy shit is it like this in any other country? The food is shit but hell its cheap, It is like they are told to make the customer feel awkward as fuck, do not open an all you can eat if you do not want customers eating all they can.

[Anonymous No.5682040]

>>5681901
>strategy
So, your strategy is that instead of enjoying a variety of foods, you just want to cram the most expensive steak cuts down your throat until your stomach bloats?

Yay.

>>5681962
>the Fogo due Chao "salad" bar is as good as the meat
Yep. Went there only once so far, at the recommendation of /ck/ actually, but despite advice like the above guy's, I still tried the salad bar. Frankly, it's better than the meats. If I go back, I'll just get the salad bar (if that's an option) and go to town on it. That aged parmesan especially.

[Anonymous No.5682057]

>>5681972
Can't stand crab legs myself.

>be at Chinese buffet
>they have roast duck
>I'm all about the duck
>once every half hour they dump a few crab legs out
>huge line waiting for them
>every time
>first two or three people always take them all
>one day
>happen to be standing nearby when they bring out the crab legs
>first guy takes a few
>some old guy behind him starts heckling him
"Look at the pig! Look at the pig! Leave some for us, piggie!"
>I thought it was a joke between friends
nope.jpg
>first guy threatens to take all of them if old jerk doesn't shut up
>fight nearly explodes
>meanwhile
>I enjoy all the roast duck I can eat
>nobody bitches
>I get my money's worth and then some

[Anonymous No.5682062]

>>5682003
Excellent quality aged parmesan is vegan?

>>5682016
STFU and go eat a cow.

[Anonymous No.5682088]

>>5682025
>Eating sushi at cheap asian buffets
A braver man than I.

They don't even use sushi grade fish... and the freshness varies.

eat it only if it's cooked fish like imitation crab or unagi

[Anonymous No.5682119]

>>5682062
From what I see the carnist team posting here, any food not made of meat is vegan, yes.

[Anonymous No.5682126]

>>5681678
>"A-WERCOME-A TO MY RESTAURANT DO YOU RIKE-A PUPU PRATTER
I read that out loud and laughed pretty hard.

[Anonymous No.5682130]

>muh buffet strategies
the sperg is strong in this thread

[Anonymous No.5682131]

>>5681678
This is racism against whites. Those buffet owners are no better than jiro.

[Anonymous No.5682136]

Saw this posted here a couple days ago. It definitely belongs in this thread.

http://www.pjwnex.us/media/text/Golden_Corral.txt

[Anonymous No.5682148]

>>5682131
at least they're up front about it

[Anonymous No.5682162]

>In Vegas at the Aria
>This is my friend's first trip to Vegas, he wants to try a Vegas-style buffet
>Go to the Aria buffet
>$40 a person
>Best fucking prime rib and crab legs I ever had
>Got 2 plates of each to get my money's worth
>Delicious salad bar; tons of toppings
>Dessert bar with god-tier tiramisu
>Leave the place feeling satisfied
>Friend says "That was good, but I don't think it was worth $40."
>Win it back anyways at roulette

Not really a funny or unique story, but that stuff was delicious.

[Anonymous No.5682169]

>>5682057
This is why I don't go to buffets, I can deal with horrible food, but the fucking clientele is atrocious.

[Anonymous No.5682172]

>>5682162
I've only been once and it was wonderful.

>Go with friend
>He's a big spender
>Hotel room, buffet at that hotel is comped,
>It saved me to spend my money just on gambling, buffets, and shows
>Went to a famous buffet every night
So much prime rib eaten...

[Anonymous No.5682173]

>>5682172
Prime rib is not necessarily made from prime beef

[Anonymous No.5682175]

>go to an all you can eat sushi place with boyfriend
>me nor boyfriend even been there before
>look at menu and know what i want to order
>boyfriend looks in confusion at the menu
>'what is it boyfriend of anon?'
>'I don't know what this is'
>'that is this and this'
>'ow, and this?'
>'this and that'
>'wow anon, you know so much about food'
>mfw i am a weeaboo and know nothing about any other food outside shown of Chinese cartoons

[Anonymous No.5682179]

>>5682173
It's a primal cut.

And at casinos, I bet it is.

[Anonymous No.5682218]

>little girl starts talking in "ching-chongs" to the really uncomfortable looking server
>girl gets increasingly and outlandishly racist and stereotypical with her questions, comments, and impressions
>mother laughing
>server just looks sad and awkward

Never before had I wanted to walk across a room and punch a child.

[Anonymous No.5682226]

>>5681607
Bulimia is the fucking best.

[Anonymous No.5682231]

>>5682218
:(
yfw the child doesn't understand she is doing anything wrong
yfw her parent is scum

[Anonymous No.5682247]

>>5682028
Unless you're bulking, the only good you're doing with your "money's worth" is becoming a fatass.

[Anonymous No.5682255]

>>5681545

That's ass sushi, it's really a disservice to sushi. At least go to a sushi train. It's like .99 cents for 4 vegetable (cucumber, avocado, etc) rolls, 1.99 for basic sushi, and 2.99 for slightly fancier. Prices will vary based off region (KY, USA here). Great date food, too. Unique, fun, not really messy.

[fatlifts !FAtLifts26 No.5682262]

>>5682247
I see you!

[Anonymous No.5682280]

A little bit before I was born.

>80's
>mother and grandmother went to a luby's
>granny asks for a biscuit, because she loves luby's biscuits
>gives a bite, says it tastes weird
>cockroach inside
>luby's staff sweating bullets and in panic mode
>they tell granny that the food the next couple of visits will be completely free
>granny tells them to fuck off, and that she won't be returning soon

She returned until the 2000's. She could've sued, but the didn't want to.

[Anonymous No.5682300]

>>5681678
15 bucks seems a little high to me

[Anonymous No.5682312]

>buffet within walking distance is 8$ for lunch
>go every now and then and just eat sushi
kind of worth it

I'll never go for dinner again because it's around 17$ and the food doesn't change besides crab legs that people fight over and that just doesn't interest me.

[Anonymous No.5682336]

>>5681453
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

5 star post

[Anonymous No.5682337]

>>5681453
>this whole thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6UXzUL2oo8

[Anonymous No.5682347]

>>5681657
most underrated post in this thread

wasabi makes me cry bitch tears and i'm part hispanic and eat hot shit all the time with no effort

[Anonymous No.5682352]

>>5681678
>>5681681
hashtag

like and subscribe if you like this video cuz i try to make a living be a hack on youtube

[Anonymous No.5682356]

>>5682352
>be

being*

[Anonymous No.5682365]

>>5681678
your family is retarded

[Anonymous No.5682366]

>>5682131
jiro as in the sushi guy? does he hate white people?

[Anonymous No.5682373]

>>5682366
He's a yamato class faggot.

[Anonymous No.5682385]

>Holiday in Tunisia (don't ask)
>Staying at a hotel
>It's packed FULL of Germans
>literally the only choices at the buffet for every meal was bread, sausage and fries
>After 3 days, say fuck it and try some local food outside the hotel
>Start shitting my intestines out the next two days
>Oh god WHY

[Anonymous No.5682387]

>>5681678
>it only costs 15 dollars a person
Where the hell do you live that that's a good deal? The best Chinese place in my county is $8/person.

[Anonymous No.5682392]

>>5681964
plus one
actually scratch that, minus one. you'd waste a massive amount of time trying to cook all those kinds of food, and you wouldn't even be able to enjoy it if you were to do so, not to mention you pay higher prices for the ingredients since you're not buying in bulk, and also add in the fact that you aren't expected to tip fucking 10-20% to anyone, buffets become a great deal (as long as you're making use of the variety of food available).

[Anonymous No.5682409]

>>5682387
what country would that be

[Anonymous No.5682422]

>>5682409
>country
He said county.

[Anonymous No.5682427]

>>5682422
o

[Anonymous No.5682433]

>>5682387
what county would that be, home skillet

[Anonymous No.5682439]

>>5682387
$15.99 isn't out of the question for dinner at a buffet.

[Anonymous No.5682440]

>>5682387
>>5682300
eh I know I said it's "only" 15 but what I was saying was I had the money to go there regularly

[Anonymous No.5682448]

>>5682387
What country would that be?

[Anonymous No.5682457]

>>5682448
united states

I don't know about you guys but I can eat more than 15 dollars of chinese food in one sitting

[Anonymous No.5682461]

>>5682457
ah.

here in vegas, we have like at least 10 buffets on the strip under $20 that are at least 4 star

[JetBlack No.5682511]

>>5682461
The food court at The Rio is god tier...

[Anonymous No.5682537]

>>5681618
~220 or so, he's a bit smaller than I am. We got off a 14-hours overnight shift that got done at 10am and had the next night off so we pigged out.

>>5681654
Never heard of anyone being banned from there before and it's not like we do it every week, maybe once a month at most.

>>5681903
The kind that used to have a constant stream of landwhales that would make at least half a dozen trips to the buffet.

[Anonymous No.5682573]

>Be like 3 months ago or some shit
>On way to shitty metal concert with dad
>Pick up dad's friend
>Dad's friend brings his fat fuck son
>Dad's friend's fat fuck son brings his fat fuck friend
>now a party of a skinny fuck, two beefy older dudes and two fat fuck teenagers
>stop for lunch
>"oh cool i could go for some fast food or something"
>nope.jpg
>The fat fucks' insatiable stomachs demand Ryan's

>Everything looks fucking disgusting
>Get a plate of some chicken nuggets and some fries; only things that don't look like vomit
>nuggets dry out mouth, fries are bland
>see fat fucks pile a plate of spaghetti over a bed of nachos topped with pizza
>decide to try the pizza, bland as fuck
>decide to try the spaghetti
>nearly vomit
>the fat fucks are now devouring a whole chicken each
>actually looks good but my stomach is already ruined from the spaghetti
>Pile up on dessert, banana puddin' is good, cheesecake is good, but can't get the awful taste of spaghetti out of my mouth
>everyone else is ready to leave
>GOTTA SHIT
>run to the bathroom, spend 15 minutes with diarrhea shit

>rest of the ride to the concert is uneventful
>make it inside the building
>GOTTA SHIT
>miss first 5 minutes of the opening act to diarrhea shit

>Ride home
>Stop by McDonald's
>GOTTA SHIT

>Get to dad's place
>GOTTA SHIT

>Finally get home
>GOTTA SHIT
>pass out, wake up, GOTTA SHIT

Spent the next day with horrid diarrhea shit thanks to that fucking spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.5682589]

>>5681903
>>5682537
Seems like people will just get crazy plates like the parent post and end up wasting food. Guess they have calculated the loss is not as much as stopping the fat/half dozen plate people.

[Anonymous No.5682592]

>>5681744
That'd be Handorf. The food there's awful.

[Anonymous No.5682600]

>>5682573
kekek
>spaghetti over a bed of nachos topped with pizza
you mean this as a single dish? is this real life

[Anonymous No.5682635]

>>5681411
So if an all you can eat buffet is not really all you can eat, where is the line? What is acceptable?

[Anonymous No.5682648]

>>5681641
Jesus christ is that why those chink fuckers do that? I was there and it was like 20 minutes til closing time and I ate quickly before that and was getting my payment read and he just starts cleanjng up right by my feet really intrusively. So are asians naturally passive aggressive or are they naturally autistic?

[Anonymous No.5682661]

>>5681735
>>5681678
Where do you guys find all of these obliviously racist "white people" at? I have never met asingle person in my entire life that would use racial slurs against someone to their face in a fucking restaurant. My grandpa refers to blacks and arabs as "niggers and sandniggers" but he doesn't actually have a problem with them, and he is friends with some Jordanians that own a restaurant near where I live.

[Anonymous No.5682672]

>>5681755
Good for you.

[Anonymous No.5682678]

>>5681901
How constipated are you?

[Anonymous No.5682726]

>>5681678
you guys must be poor if you live in walking distance of a buffet

[Anonymous No.5682735]

>>5682025
Jesus. I go to a buffet that is like 6.95 and the food is great. They even have an assortment of fresh vegetables, shrimp, and beef along with sauces. You make the combo you want add some sauce, and the guy will stir fry it for you. This comes with the meal. I usually tip the guy a buck though.

[Anonymous No.5682744]

>>5682057
The old guy was right. He shouldn't have made a scene though.

[Anonymous No.5682755]

>>5682648
both

[Anonymous No.5682768]

>>5682231
The child is an obnoxious piece of shitbwho needs to get slapped. The mother needs tk get slapped up a bit too.

[Anonymous No.5682776]

>>5682280
Absolutely disgusting.

[Anonymous No.5682796]

>>5682573
Oh, well aren't you a delicate little flower.

[Anonymous No.5682811]

>>5681744
Schreib besser bitte.

[Anonymous No.5682819]

>>5681922

I do this. There's a great indian buffet by my house that I frequent so I've had lots of time to practice. Eating rice at ANY buffet is fucking retarded - it's easy enough to make at home. I use a dessert plate to hold my pappadums (not a huge fan of naan), and just put my real food on the bigger plates.

[Anonymous No.5682833]

>>5682461

Palms has the best "affordable" buffet imo. Some of the ones on fremont street are decent, but I got really sick from a lot of the ones on the strip. Mirage and Bally's buffets can suck a dick.

[Anonymous No.5682935]

>>5681453
this actually made me LEL. thanks anon for beating the system that day.

[Anonymous No.5683056]

>>5681453

How does it feel to lie on the internet?

[Anonymous No.5683068]

>>5681607
>>5682226

Fellow bulimic here. Too many stories of Golden Corral and Chinese buffets.

I prefer the breakfast buffets. I've always wanted to go to Vegas, get an all day Buffet pass, and then just eat all the food, go up to my room, purge, and then go back down and eat again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViGNBLQpGWE

[Bleak !DPKFpqEOXE No.5683075]

>>5682028
>eat as fast as we can because we'll get full if we stop eating

[Anonymous No.5683173]

>>5681949
Cool shit

[Anonymous No.5683191]

>>5682057
I would turn around and tell that cunt to fuck himself then take as much as I want. That's just me though.

[Anonymous No.5683202]

>>5682028
>go to KFC buffet
>KFC buffet

Wtf, they exist?

[Anonymous No.5683333]

>dad works for liberty oil services
>they treat employees better than I've ever heard of
>father talks of holiday feasts with basically unlimited prime rib and king crab legs, kegs as well
> mfw I'll lever work for that company

[Anonymous No.5683365]

>>5682833
Fiesta down in north vegas is like like a 40 minute drive for me but their buffet is amazing for only like $15. Good atmosphere and entres from a lot of countries.

[Anonymous No.5683366]

>>5682136
I enjoyed this.

[HIGH TEST No.5683368]

>>5683333
wowow

[Anonymous No.5683407]

FUNNY you mention this thread. I just went to Golden Corral less than 8 hours ago. It was quite a trip, nothing weird or bad.

They had 6 types of chicken, a fully stacked salad bar, cheddar biscuits like you wouldn't believe, make your own tacos, lasagna, clam chowder, deep fried okra, deep fried bone-in salmon, freshly grilled steak made right infront of you, a bunch of bourben and teriyaki foods, a full stock of deserts, and a chocolate, vanilla, and caramel fountain. By the way, is it true they put vegetable oil into the fountain contents so they flow better?

[Anonymous No.5683411]

>>5683407
>deep fried bone-in salmon,
dafuqqqqq

[Anonymous No.5683473]

>>5683411

Welcome to America. At least it wasn't slathered in butter.

[Anonymous No.5683500]

>Mongolian Grill
>You can either pay $10.95 for largest size bowl or $10.95 for the bowls you can eat
>If you get the all you can eat you're not allowed to take anything home
>Friend who is pretty good at eating gets a bowl and puts a lot of artificial crab in it
>It's fucking disgusting
>He realizes he's made a terrible mistake
>He decides he'll just go for the all you can eat bowls
>The problem is, you can't get a second bowl until you finish your first
>He decides he'll dump it down the toilet to get rid of it, then get a second
>Manager sees him walking out of the bathroom with the bowl
>mfw he went home hungry

[Anonymous No.5683505]

>>5681755
someone has some sand in their vagina

[Anonymous No.5683508]

All of you in this thread are fat riiiiight?

[fatlifts !FAtLifts26 No.5683517]

>>5683508
no way dude

[Anonymous No.5683523]

>>5683517
You're fat and you know it.

[fatlifts !FAtLifts26 No.5683528]

>>5683523
bullshit!

[Anonymous No.5683533]

>Working on an audit engagement out of town
>The audit partner asks where we want to go for lunch
>CHINESE BUFFET
>Eat like animals
>We felt fucking awful in the hot conference room we were holed up in the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.5683554]

You guys have trouble avoiding the "filler" items? I know bread, pasta, rice, soups just fill up your stomach but I can't resist taking some.

Garlic bread always gets eaten

[Anonymous No.5683576]

How about a slightly different question here...

I'm going to Vegas and California alone and thought about going to a buffet in Vegas and to Sizzler somewhere along the road. Do you think it would be weird to go alone? I'm usually comfortable dining alone, I went for dinner to a Vietnamese restaurant yesterday for example. However with buffets it kinda feels different. I've read somewhere that it's actually easier on the mind to solo dine at a buffet because there's no awkward wait time between ordering and eating. I guess I'll see at the end of September.

[Anonymous No.5683585]

>>5683068

that sounds like one heaven of a vacation. start and end it with plenty of booze, and you've got the perfect getaway.

casino buffets are always the best, too. diverse selection of quality food, too busy to feel like you're being watched and judged or worse, called out and kicked out. (can they do that, even?)

[Anonymous No.5683590]

any good japanese buffets in las vegas? Is it weird to go to a buffet alone?

[Anonymous No.5683606]

>>5683590
makino
feast at GVR might have a Japanese section, but the last time I went there was 10+ years ago
it is kind of weird to me, I see no point in eating sit-down if you're alone, but nobody will think twice about it
if you're still nervous you can always say your company ditched you and you were hungry anyways

[siscon onii-chan No.5683648]

>>5681657
What the fuck kinda flavor did you think it was to be green?

[Anonymous No.5683654]

>>5681678
You should sue for this microaggression, it could have triggered you in ways you don't even know.

[siscon onii-chan No.5683657]

>>5682028
KFC buffet
what

[Anonymous No.5683660]

>>5683606
>you can always say your company ditched you and you were hungry anyways

that only makes you look like a loser that no-one wants to hang out with. or respect enough to follow through with plans.

[Anonymous No.5683664]

>>5683056
>"me and my buddy ate a shitload of food once"

>"bullshit anon you're lying"

[Anonymous No.5683668]

>>5683554
I fuckin live for rice and gravy dude

I can't help it

Go to a bbq buffet near my place. Rice and gravy, hush puppies, wing chips (normally i'd skip but theirs are amazing)

It's so fucking good. I still have room for the bbq pork, fried chicken, wings, ribs, sausage etc they've got too

[Anonymous No.5683671]

>>5683648
apple

[Anonymous No.5683693]

>>5683576
Having been to Vegas only twice, I can tell you I've had some good experiences with Vegas Buffets on the Strip and the Fremont. went to a $15 all you can eat prime rib buffet that was probably larger than a Golden Corral, but with better cooks. worth it.

[Anonymous No.5683728]

>>5681657
>take my 7 year old niece out for a birthday lunch at an asian place
>"Anon, can I have some guacamole from you plate?"
>"Uhh, what?"
>She takes the wasabi off my plate and shoves it in her mouth
>She ends up crying all the way through the meal and all the way home

My sister hates me now, but jeez, teach your kid not to take stuff without permission.

[Anonymous No.5683747]

>>5681411
I used to do this in elementary school when the school would have a salad bar for lunch every tuesday. I'd get a heaping plate of it, eat a few bites and then throw it away. I was a little asshole when I was younger

[Anonymous No.5683774]

>>5683333
Was he working in Alaska? It's retarded easy to catch your own crab there.

[Anonymous No.5683813]

>>5683728
You're sister should be mad at her own daughter for being a rude pig.

[Anonymous No.5683827]

>>5682833
I live on the edge of vegas and live near casinos with $6 buffets. They are ok, the serve prime rib sometimes, but i never take advantage of it like this thread would

[Anonymous No.5683833]

>>5683365
The one in henderson is $6. Its ehh tho, nothing too special but worth it

[Anonymous No.5683908]

>friend wants go to to this new buffet style KBBQ
>instead of them bringing meat to you, you go up and just stack plates of raw meat on your plate
>its fucking 30 bucks per person
>fucking lol is you serious
>all the prepared food id generic asian
>walk around till i see the holy grail
>all you can eat galbi.
>all you can eat fucking galgi
>load up
>eat nothing but galbi for 2 hours
>they had to change the galbi tray 3 times
>they seriously ask me to leave
>do what you must i have already won

[Anonymous No.5683938]

>>5683908
Those places are plentiful and cheap in Hong Kong. Galbi is always the most popular and pretty much any meat. The only problem is that the quality of the short ribs is shitty, lots of connective tissue and fat, barely any meat. It's a godsend when you catch them bring out a new tray. Best part is that I get solid, no wipe shits for the next week or so.

[Anonymous No.5683959]

>>5683908
>asked to leave
You've done well.

>KBBQ
>$15/person lunch ayce
>eat nothing but spare ribs and a little soup and little clear noodle
>mountain of the 3 little bones
>Go back a year later
>Price went up
>Only serve spare ribs for dinner $30
From that point I just buy $30 of marinated ribs from the k-store and take it to my friends to grill in exchange meat for grill.

[Anonymous No.5683996]

The crab legs were all you can eat
I longed for Crustaceans feet
but the way was blockaded
the creature most hated
a landwhale in old county heat

[Anonymous No.5684022]

>>5682573
Ryans is a shit for buffet imo. I liked when they cooked shit and brought it out made to order. Sad that they closed the closest ones down near me.

[Anonymous No.5684073]

>Go to this Japanese buffet
>Actual Japanese this time, no pizza, no general tsao's or french fries
>but they do have a chocolate fountain
>everything tastes good, authentically good
>never eat other buffets again

[Anonymous No.5684087]

>>5683576
>Go to this Japanese buffet (pic related)
>Actual Japanese this time, no pizza, no general tsao's or french fries
>but they do have a chocolate fountain
>everything tastes good, authentically good
>never eat other vegas buffets again

For anything else, I recommend anything in a Station Casino (Boulder Highway, Sunset, etc). Mainly because they're just really clean places with good selection.

[Anonymous No.5684095]

>>5683590
>Is it weird to go to a buffet alone?

why do people think this?

[Anonymous No.5684101]

>>5683657
>KFC buffet
ooh!
>there's one in california
OOH!!
>Lake elsinore
Gee i wonder where that-
>google maps
FUCK

[Anonymous No.5684149]

>>5684087
vegasbro here, can confirm stations shit (while run by douchebags and pay like shit) have pretty solid buffets for the price.
red rock has prime rib on fridays for 15 bucks to enter.
while it isnt exactly a 40 buck slice of beef, the food there is certainly filling

the more expensive buffets (from 35-50 bucks) have much higher quality food obviously. enjoy the lines though

[Anonymous No.5684489]

>>5682648
>naturally passive aggressive
This. I'm in Taiwan. They love to cough at you if they don't like something you're doing.

[Anonymous No.5684490]

>>5682744
No, he really wasn't. (I'm the guy who posted that anecdote, BTW.) He was being a complete ass for no reason. He was about #6 in line, and probably wouldn't have gotten a single crab leg no matter what, but nearly starting a fistfight over them is retarded.

[Anonymous No.5684492]

>>5682833
Circus-Circus and Imperial Palace are the most god-tier buffets!!!

[Anonymous No.5684498]

>10 years ago
>go to a decent chinese buffet with family and have a good time
>last year
>go back, there's probably a different owner but it's still familiar
>food selection is total ass, just 10 different variations on chicken
>nothing tastes very fresh
>seafood is expired

[Anonymous No.5684645]

>>5682255
I just had a moment imagining what condition seafood must be in by the time it makes it to Kentucky.

[Anonymous No.5684661]

>>5683648

Pistachio is green. Mint is green. Apple is green

[Anonymous No.5684664]

>>5682385

That's what you get for looking down on German cuisine

[Anonymous No.5684778]

>at chinese/japanese buffet in my homestate florida
>pick up a plate, doesn't look 100% washed
>put it back on the stack
>hear snickering weasel-voice behind me
>"HEH he doesn't even put the plate aside so others don't grab it! that's so american"
>realized i had made a shamefur dispray
>feel as if i had dishonored general tso himself
>as i'm filling my plate with soggy MSG shame i catch a glimpse of weasel-man and his friend
>two pasty fedoralords, i imagine they both browse /ck/ as well
>they don't even move said plate aside, fucking hypocrites
>already feel embarrassed, let's make it worse
>approach and incoherently say something about MUHH FREEDOM and GOD BLESS AMERICA
>they didn't know I heard them, proceed to avoid eye contact with me, turn red, and immediately waddle back to their table
>in a war of autism vs autism, there are no survivors

[Anonymous No.5684789]

>this weekend
>my buddies bachelor party
>we're in this golf resort/casino and go to the buffet
>pretty nice
>16 bucks for dinner
>we pay and go in
>get my first plate of food and sit down
>look over to my one buddy
>cant find see one of the guys
>where the fuck is he
>turns out he "didnt find the food appealing"
>went back to the register and asked for a refund
>they actually gave it to him
>went to some place and bout a hotdog
fucking wut

[Anonymous No.5684804]

>>5684645
frozen condition. like all other seafood everywhere...

[Anonymous No.5684807]

>>5681755
You're kind of an ass hole man.

[Anonymous No.5684808]

>>5684789
Not surprised since he didnt eat anything.

However it's a bachelor party... suck it up and stay in the group

[Anonymous No.5684941]

>Have to do some social experiment for my high school psychology class
>Decide to see what happens when you steal food off of someone's plate at a buffet
>First person I do it to was some big black dude
>Get punched
>Fail the assignment

[Anonymous No.5685007]

>>5684941
You were part of that social experiment. Somewhere out there your teacher is laughing at you.

[Anonymous No.5685021]

when i was a teen i would go to a local asian buffet often, i forget the name or price of it but, when someone had a birthday they would play song over the sound system.. happy birsday to yuu. cracked up everytime.

>at buffet with my friend
>were chatting like normal then we both just stop and listen to a conversation two other dudes were having
>so i had a gun and a bible, and i said.. i do you?
>both our sides were in orbit, to this day i have no goddam clue wtf that was about.

[Anonymous No.5685022]

>>5682175
this was the worst story ive ever read

[Anonymous No.5685037]

>>5684645

Pretty decent. I've had better over near VA, but it's around a 6-7/10.

[Anonymous No.5685091]

>>5685022
I was hoping no one would reply to her. Make her feel unwanted, like she is, because her story is absolutely horrible.

[Anonymous No.5685105]

>>5683576
I've done a few business trips in Vegas, and I'm often alone.

Who the fuck cares? Delicious Vegas buffets. My favorite is the Planet Hollywood Towers one. It's expensive, but it's sooooo goooood.

[Anonymous No.5685114]

>>5685091

nobody's exactly bidding for you either manchild.

[Anonymous No.5685129]

>>5685114
That's why I didn't post a story. I'm saying that horrible stories don't deserve any feedback.

[Anonymous No.5685138]

As a fat fuck most my life (now 200 and still dropping) I hated buffets with a passion. Used to beg and plead with family to not go to one when we went out for dinner. I always felt like I was being stared at and I hated the long slow walk back to the table with a plate of food. Whenever forced I would generally leave hungry because I under-filled my plate and wouldn't go back for seconds. I still carry that hate today, even though I'm usually thinner than 3/4 of the room.

However, I do enjoy a good Indian Buffet from time to time. I guess it is because those were usually far less crowded here in Oklahoma where the true Muricans are afraid of food they can't pronounce and because Indian food is best with a little variety.

[Anonymous No.5685140]

>>5682175

R U a landwhale?

[Anonymous No.5685166]

>go to chinese buffet
>ask where their restrooms are
>take a shit
>leave without flushing

[Anonymous No.5686431]

>>5681411
Such is life in burgerland.

[Anonymous No.5686443]

>>5685166
I wondered where they got the filling for their 'meat' dumplings.

[G8rH8r No.5686608]

>casino buffet in Vegas
>completely free and seat In high roller area cause I burn all my money
>working hard on a plate of crab legs
>"sir, would you like me to bring you some pre split legs
>holy mother of fuck you do that?
>eat like 50 legs since it's so easy

[Anonymous No.5686743]

>>5681403
oh my god ponderosa nostalgia, we had one back in NS, Canada for awhile in early 2000's

[Anonymous No.5686777]

>>5681972
>Go to a chinese buffet
>it's crab leg night
>niggers chimp out and try to take the entire tray for themselves
>didn't even want crablegs anyways, continue on to the everything else

[Anonymous No.5686813]

>>5684490
>not knowing about Asian culture.
If you don't respect your elders you get disowned by your own family and have to commit sudoku

[Anonymous No.5686820]

>Go to Golden Corral buffet
>4 of us there, one of us feels sick
>Other two friends and I encourage him to throw up on the table
>Faggot gags himself for like 30 minutes but fails to produce
>Two other friends proceed outside after we finish our meal and throw up in the parking lot to show him how its done
>I join in, throwing up a fairly large puddle just as a double decker bus full of Mennonites cruises by

[Anonymous No.5686855]

bitten is gay

[Anonymous No.5687113]

>>5683996
Thx /lit/

[Anonymous No.5687117]

>>5686820
You're all insanely fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.5687131]

>Be in high school, 16
>Hour lunch
>Me and some friends go to the Pizza Hut Lunch Buffet awwww yeah
>Family of hambeasts waiting for dessert pizza
>We had just arrived, didn't want the dessert yet but felt like pissing them off
>As soon as pizza arrives, I "accidentally" knock it over onto the floor
>Lady starts SCREAMING- At me, at the Pizza Hut kid, at her crying children
>I apologize to the employees, pay them $10 for the pizza I ruined
>Enjoy some shitty pizza, get the turbo squirts when I got back to school

Apparently the lady was at the lunch buffet two or three times a week, and was always stealing pizza. Sometimes I miss being an asshole kid.

[Anonymous No.5687213]

>>5683959
mein neger.

ever had korean spare rib tacos/burritos. fucking sublime.

[Anonymous No.5687235]

>>5681397
after a night of drinking and trying to fuck strangers (we both failed) me and a friend go to a chinese buffet. half way through the meal he gets up and goes to the bathroom. i thought nothing of it until he admitted to me that he had to go in the bathroom to rub a jammed one out. He still had blue balls from not fucking.

[Anonymous No.5687359]

>>5683996
>/lit/ goes to a buffet

[Anonymous No.5687375]

>>5687235
>having blue balls from thinking about sex

uh, no. your friend is just a degenerate.

[Anonymous No.5687655]

>>5686777
>>5686608

Seriously, all you guys talking about crab legs makes me wonder what they taste like. I never had them and don't even know where to get them

[Anonymous No.5687690]

>Legit autistic brothers b-day
>Parents take us to Old Country Buffet
>Dad sticks to the salad bar since he gave up meat
>Mom and I eat a little bit of everything
>Brother eats fried chicken and jell-o, that's fucking it
>We're pretty much done with our food and at this point just talking at the table
>Brother is half done with his third plate of chicken, looks like he's about to throw up
>Mom and dad pestering him to finish his plate
>These people are dense as fuck
>Tell them to leave him alone, he's eaten enough
>Right after I say it, he throws up red jell-o liquid all over the table. Twice.
>Mfw
>The workers face when she walks by and sees it
>Parents get napkins and wipe up the table
>We leave
Felt bad for the workers who had to clean that shit.

[Anonymous No.5687771]

>work night shift at looney bin
>sit in a chair all night at end of hallway
>20 yo goofy was out with parents early in evening
>other staff asked parents if they went to buffet?
>parents said yes, nobody wants the chair that night
>2 am goofy runs up and down the hallway shooting shit like a fire hydrant
>I have to clean it up and end up puking
.fuk that buffet wherever it is

[Anonymous No.5687850]

so many vegasians who browse /ck/ oh wow that came out as veg asians

i only mean anons from vegas

cool.

[Anonymous No.5687856]

>>5681397
>when we were done I vomited food all over near the cash register

Why does everyone on /ck/ have weak as fuck stomachs? Is this a meme or something?

[Anonymous No.5687860]

>>5683590
>>5683606
>makino

LISTEN TO THIS GUY, WEABOOS

IF YOU'RE EVER IN VEGAS

GO TO MAKINO'S

IT'S KIND OF IN THE GHETTO BECAUSE THEY MOVED IT FROM THE STRIP/ONE OF THE MALLS TO THE GHETTO

TRUST ME, IT'S WORTH IT

[Anonymous No.5687862]

>>5687856
most of /ck/ are either skinny alcoholics or binge eating fatasses

soooo.... yeah.

[Anonymous No.5687867]

>>5687862
Nigga I'm a fucking fat ass but I don't throw up like a pussy bitch nigga when I eat a little greasy food. Jesus fucking christ you guys are all fucking faries

[Anonymous No.5687869]

>>5687690
Don't even get me started with legit autistic brothers, man.

[Anonymous No.5687880]

>>5687867
nigga ayyo lmao you have a superiority complex over being a fatass...

but hey, at least you're optimistic it seems. rather angry though.

[Anonymous No.5687882]

>>5682373
Well he did fight us filthy gaijin back in dubyadubya II

[Anonymous No.5687884]

>>5687880
Damn right I'm superior for being fat. Fuck all the skinny bitches I will crush them

[Anonymous No.5687887]

Went to a buffet at golden corral when i was younger spit in the main food to impress my friends.

[Anonymous No.5687900]

>>5681453
>The rule is that you get one plate and once you leave the buffet area you cannot go back for more

Fuck that noise nigger. I'd go back for 1000000000000000000000 more plates and I'd beat the shit out of anyone that tried to stop me

[Anonymous No.5687902]

I went to Golden Corral and it was very bad. The End.

[Anonymous No.5687905]

>>5683664
/ck/ logic, dude

>hey guys, how do you like your bacon?
>pfft, I don't think you eat bacon. aren't you tired of posting this meme?

[Anonymous No.5687906]

>>5687905
I miss when 4chan liked memes and didn't pretend not to because reddit made memes popular with normalfags

[Anonymous No.5687908]

>>5687900
woah

just take it easy, man.

[Anonymous No.5687913]

>>5687908
Fuck you I'm angry

[Anonymous No.5687916]

I had american chinese buffet sushi for the first time a few days ago. I lived in japan for 2 years prior. I was very close to vomiting. Everything else was good, they didnt have fried rice though what the fuck.

[Anonymous No.5687924]

>>5687905
>>5687906
instead of regurgitating common overused memes, just innovate new ones that are used maybe once or twice to be never seen a day.

nawmeen?

>>5687913
ayyo lmao i'll call the cops.

[Anonymous No.5687926]

>>5687924
>to be never seen a day.

to be never seen again*

>a day
>again

wow what...

[Anonymous No.5687933]

>>5681545
You're an idiot.

[Anonymous No.5687937]

>>5683728
bet you felt really euphoric teaching her such a valuable lesson, you miserable virgin

[Anonymous No.5687941]

>>5687906
For you

[Anonymous No.5687960]

>>5681755
Go die.

[Anonymous No.5687967]

>>5681657
That's the fake wasabi shit which is just horseradish dyed green. It's okay on sushi, but real wasabi should not cause you pain even if you ate a lot of it.

[Anonymous No.5687971]

>>5683657

Oh yeah, theres one near my house in Maine.

Best fucking dinner a show.

>go to buffet with friends
>be thin heteronormative, nerual typical, thin, white, cis-gendered young aduts.
>immediately notice all 4 of the towns black people are present
>more 10 gallon hats than I have ever seen in my entire life
>half of the patrons are in wheelchairs
>they eat like their lives are about to end, just sucking down chicken, barely chewing
>get about 5 large breasts into me before the grease starts affecting my thoughts
>I feel sluggish, brain no working good
>look at friends, we understand each other
>one goes up, grabs a plate of 3 breasts
>he rips the skin off all of them, and eats them
>"brilliant_bastard.ping"
>we feast upon skin and throw the chicken away
>die.

[Anonymous No.5687974]

>>5687960
Shut up filthy chink. Stop condoning the evil chink owners actions

[Anonymous No.5687979]

>>5683728
You should have killed the disgusting little child for being a piece of shit

[Anonymous No.5687984]

>>5682003
>not wanting your moneys worth

Enjoy eating a single pea for $999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

[Anonymous No.5687987]

>>5683728
your niece is retarded

[Anonymous No.5688000]

No matter how delicious it is, don't eat fried foods until the END of your meal. The oils will expand in your stomach and curb your appetite prematurely.

[Anonymous No.5688052]

>>5683500
Beta as fuck. Seriously what is up with all these buffets with rules? If you get something disgusting I would just toss it.

[Anonymous No.5688069]

>>5687655
Crabs generally come from the ocean.

[Anonymous No.5688070]

>>5687869
Please get started. They have the best stories.

[Anonymous No.5688118]

Was at a chinese buffet with my redneck grandparents for my brothers birthday a few years ago. They were trying to pay the bill and figure out tip which they're bad at already, but they could not understand one word of these asian peoples accents. It was so embarrassing having a fatass wheelchair bound old lady saying loudly "I can't understand your chinese" and my grandpa being almost deaf saying "WHAT?"

[Anonymous No.5688130]

>>5684490
I mean he was right that that guy is a pig for taking ass load of crab or whatever and not being considerate of other people

[Anonymous No.5688143]

>>5687924
So asking about bacon is a meme now? That's retarded. Pretty soon cooking itself will be a meme and this board will be nothing but pwople getting mad that food related topics are posted.

[Anonymous No.5688147]

>>5687937
Cry harder, cunt. That was a valuable lesson to be learned.

[Anonymous No.5688160]

>>5687862
I'm a fat alcoholic though. I'm incapable of binge eating though because my stomach is too messed up. When I go to the chinese buffet I can't normally do more than one plate and one cup of soup while my average weight friends surpass me by eating 3 or 4 plates. I'm pretty much fat because I drink super sugary malt beverages every night.

I drink usually 4 four lokos a night plus a tall boy.

That's probably like two thousand something calories. I take a lot of prevacid, prilosec and tums

[Anonymous No.5688164]

>>5683728
Your story makes no sense.
She asks you a question and you reply
"Uhhhh what?"
That isn't a fucking answer. Why would she be mad at you sjnce you neither said yes or no, but instead paused like an autist?

[Anonymous No.5688170]

>>5688164
Shes mad b/c he is autistic and this inst the first time this shits happened. Plus her dirty panties keep going missing.

[Anonymous No.5688268]

>>5688164
Maybe he didn't understand when she said guacamole? If you were eating sushi and somebody asked you to pass the guacamole, you don't think that would possibly confuse you? Time to look in the mirror and see the real autist.

[Anonymous No.5688349]

>>5687971
if you wanna go full skin mode, legs and thighs are the best skin to meat ratio.

Best part is that nobody wants them.

[Anonymous No.5688351]

>>5688118
I know that feel. I live near Seattle and like half my town and most of my friends are Asian. Whenever I go out to eat with my grandparents it's a bit of a struggle to keep them behaved since they've got that old-people racism thing going on and they also tend to treat servers like shit, but sometimes we go to an Asian restaurant or the local Skippers or something and I end up having to translate for them because they can't understand the accent.

[Anonymous No.5688362]

>>5681901
>muh moneys worth

[Anonymous No.5688366]

>>5685166
Wait, did you find the bathroom or shit right there on the floor?

[Anonymous No.5688367]

I went to Las Vegas when I turned 21 and the buffets are awesome.

>Go to Las Vegas for a week
>Hear all these good things about the buffets there before I go and decide to check out the Wicked Spoon
>First step into the Cosmopolitian, the buffet is beautiful; warm orange lighting, fancy seating and fire flickering behind the buffet lines where the chefs are at
>Only cost $47 bucks
>They have mini baskets of fried chicken, shephard's pie and this thing I've never heard you can eat called "bone marrow"
>I try some of this gel like matter and realize it's rich, fat and delicious
>Load up on the bone marrow while also enjoying the mediterrian salad bar, because I love food with savory taste or spices.

My only regret was that I ate all this alone. I didn't go with my family or friends because before that night they chose a really crappy all-you-can-eat buffet in the Paris Paris building. It had the most depressing lighting, mediorce food (which was offensive since you're paying $30 bucks a head) and a stingy guy with a camera who would take pictures of people who took too much food or had already eaten too much. They were busy so I decide that I would try at least one gourmet buffet before leaving Las Vegas.

But honestly, the food didn't taste as good as when I was with company. Even though it was the best buffet food ever, I couldn't really enjoy my meal knowing I snuck off to have a good time while they just ate rice and chinese sausage back at the hotel room.

[Anonymous No.5688371]

>>5683500
>go to sushi ayce with two friends
>they make you order in rounds
>must finish before ordering next round or else they charge you
>one guy orders a shitoad of random stuff because no real descriptions
>at least two of the plates are huge disgusting soggy tempura, cream cheese, overcooked fishlike-meat thing rolls covered in avocado
>wtf
>cant even eat it
>we want another round of food though
>force him to get rid of the evidence
>guy hides one roll in his soy sauce plate
>hides one under the ginger
>puts napkin up to face
>pretends to eat rolls by putting them up to his face
>shoves it into the napkin instead
>put it on side of table, repeat
>owner watches him carrying pile of individually wrapped napkin sushi into the restroom
>call server over for next round
>she sees black liquefied sushi in soy sauce dish and a piece clearly under the ginger
>they know

That's what you get for putting cream cheese in sushi.

[Anonymous No.5688379]

>>5688371

More like that's what happens when you don't know what you're ordering but you order gluttonously anyway.

[Anonymous No.5688381]

>>5682347
>>5681657
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lty7RAHKT9E

[Anonymous No.5688384]

>>5688379
>>5688371

>"Oh yes, I'd like 2 of those coffee enemas. You know what they sound really good so give me 5 of them instead!"

[Anonymous No.5688385]

>>5681397
I fucking love buffets, but I will never, EVER go with my family
>At a buffet back in the day with my aunt.
>I'm having a good time, I'm eating lots of good meats and other foods
>My aunt is looking like she's full, think she's gonna call a quits
>She says she'll be right back, she goes to the bathroom.
>she comes back like 5 minutes later, the smell of vomit is in the air, she continues eating.
>She keeps going to the bathroom and coming back. My mom follows her in there to see whats happening
>Aunt is purposefully vomiting so she can eat more
Fast forward a few years.
>At buffet again, but her son who is like 9 is there.
>He says he's full.
>all she says is "you know what to do".
>He gets up and goes into the bathroom and does the same shit she did and comes back and eats plates of cake and macaroni.
>Mfw.

[Anonymous No.5688391]

>>5688385

This board is starting to sound like the fattest board on this site. I cannot imagine any one of you posters as a skinny average person.

[Anonymous No.5688399]

>>5688391
Cry about it.

[Anonymous No.5688408]

>>5688399

>implying that if I did my face would be swarmed by tons of fatties because they thing my tears are Spirte flavored Jelly Bellies

[Anonymous No.5688422]

>>5688385
jesus fucking christ, your aunt is mentally ill

[Anonymous No.5688423]

>>5682661
You need to get out more.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5688437]

>>5684941

>social experiment

you're like one of those youtube "prank" faggots aren't you?

[Anonymous No.5688470]

>>5688437
Did you never take a psychology class? This shit is fairly standard issue.

[Anonymous No.5688485]

>>5688470
>Stealing fried chicken from a nigger
>Completely normal psychology assignment

[Anonymous No.5688489]

>>5684941
You're dumb as shit. What the fuck were you expecting?

[Anonymous No.5688496]

>>5688485
I'm not saying he wasn't a retard, any teacher will tell you when they give the assignment to not do anything illegal or likely to get you punched.

[Anonymous No.5688508]

>>5688485
Tippin my fedora to that one.

[Anonymous No.5688513]

Tips from an IKEA worker; friday is Swedish Crayfish Party at the restaurant. Basically all you can eat crayfish, some other stuff and lots of cakes.

[Anonymous No.5688578]

>Live in a high street in London for a few weeks
>Decide to go to a Chinese buffet for the first time
>Turns out one is literally next door and I hadn't noticed it
>Go outside
>Walk 5 feet
>Buffet
>Take a large tub to load up with food
>It's not large at all
>Take a bit of everything oriental because variety
>Pay and exit
>Return and enjoy my meal
>Welp

Fat people have far more entertaining buffet stories

6'0 130 reporting, anyone from /fit/ can thank me to ensure their gains

[Anonymous No.5688592]

>>5688513
>Tips from an IKEA worker; friday is Swedish Crayfish Party at the restaurant. Basically all you can eat crayfish, some other stuff and lots of cakes.
From china? No, thank you.

[Anonymous No.5688597]

>>5688578
>6'0 130 reporting, anyone from /fit/ can thank me to ensure their gains

I don't know what this means but it seems to be becoming more common. What is this thing apparently leaking out of /fit/?

Unrelatedly, I was at the store the other day and saw some kid in a sleeveless shirt with "r/fitness" and the stupid reddit munchkin proudly displayed on it. Cringed.

>food

[Anonymous No.5688609]

There's some all you can eat korean place with a pretty killer sushi bar near where I live.

They also have a pretty killer hot food bar too.

... ... ... except I think half the staff is racist against non-koreans, but I'm not sure.

[Anonymous No.5688612]

>>5688385
Ah. Roman style.

[Anonymous No.5688656]

>>5688609
This is normal for all korean restaurants.

[Anonymous No.5688669]

>go down to Mississippi and Alabama with my grandmother and aunts
>two weeks
>they gamble the whole time
>I get to eat at the buffets all I want since meals were free or my aunt won a bunch of money
>mfw bread pudding all day erryday
I don't even give a shit, it seems like nobody makes decent bread pudding up here.

[Anonymous No.5688685]

>>5683908
>>5683938
You guys know its KALBI right?!

[Anonymous No.5688693]

>>5687967
The Japanese don't even use real wasabi because its so fucking expensive

[Anonymous No.5688710]

I hate buffets with my family, I don't even go anymore.
>go with mom, stepdad, and brother
>my mom gets a salad
>everybody else eats like normal
>mom never gets up from the table after that
>instead samples from everybody's plates as we bring food back to the table
>she tends to take the most from me, for whatever reason
>I see her fork hover over my plate again
>pull my plate away
>"There is an entire buffet up there full of food"
>"But anoooon, I just want to taste it!"
>mfw I never let her do so again and she gets pissed every time we go out
She does it at normal restaurants too, it's so fucking annoying.

>>5688385
Didn't they used to do that back in medieval English or something when they'd have feasts that lasted a long time?

[Anonymous No.5688734]

>>5682010
currywurst and doner are definitely the most authentic german foods, at least where i'm from

[Anonymous No.5688794]

I've only been to Golden Corral once.

>At lunch with my two best friends at the time, and one best friend's family
>His mother, sisters (13, 20)
>Best friends and I get our food and sit down, food was pretty shit btw
>Midway through our meal a hamplanet of a woman in a puke green sweater sits down right next to me and begins devouring fried chicken
>Silent "What in god's name?" stares are exchanged between the three of us, you know the kind
>Later find out it was the 20 year old sister's friend that she invited
>That distinct mixture of astonishment, confusion, and fear was never felt again

[Anonymous No.5688797]

>>5688669
>>mfw bread pudding all day erryday
>I don't even give a shit, it seems like nobody makes decent bread pudding up here.
On a buffet? You can be sure bread pudding is leftover bread, of whatever type they didn't use up in time. My mom won't get it in a restaurant, because they could possibly have no qualms with using old bread rolls people could have touched or bit off of....scary.

At home, I make a challah/egg bread as my base, and you need some cream, not just milk and eggs. I don't make it overly sweet either. I like it with or without raisins. Vanilla, but no cinnamon. For special occasions, I take some scotch or bourbon, brown sugar, butter and cream, and make a "hard sauce" kind of caramel topping. The higher the proof the better :P

[Anonymous No.5688815]

>>5688710
I kinda understand your mom, I also have a habit of stealing food from friends and it rubs off as me being a greedy cunt

however, it is more about trying to connect, at least for me. stealing food is a way of sharing the same food with a friend, I suppose it has some psychological effect of bonding

[Anonymous No.5688857]

>>5688710
Yeah, I'm that kind of Joey person too. I wouldn't let anyone to grab anything from my plate if not agreed before. In the buffet case, I'm more like: "go to fuck yourself and pick it from the buffet, you lazy fuck".

[Anonymous No.5688896]

>>5681678

>little brother suddenly gets the idea to say "ching chong ding dong

I would have slapped him across the room for trying to ruin a good buffet for me. Why didn't you say anything?

[Anonymous No.5688909]

>>5688797
I don't even care. It was delicious as fuck, especially because at one they had rum sauce, and I've never had that before. It was godly.

[Anonymous No.5688914]

>>5688513

Ikea has a restaurant? I thought it just had a cafeteria.

[Anonymous No.5688922]

I don't have much of a story but it'll help keep the thread going:

>Remember being 8 or 9 years old
>Every week or so I'd go to the Chinese buffet with my dad
>Lots of great chinese food there but I remember I always went for the egg flour soup
>I would add lots of pepper and salt into it and mix it furiously with a spoon and called it my Super Stew
>remember eating those sugary baked dough balls the Chinese people have

It was a good memory. I wish I had the metabolism to keep eating buffets all the time.

Has anyone here been to a Sizzlers lately? I was watching Anthony Bourdain (because it was on the tv, I don't keep up with it) and he went to a Sizzlers in Korea town of Los Angeles. Made me miss going to Sizzlers as a kid whenever I got back from the dentist. The buffet was always fun.

[Anonymous No.5688926]

>>5688794

She never introduced herself or said a single word as she sat down? That's very strange.

>>5688710
Your mom sounds fat and the only reason I can think of why she steals from your plates is because her ole knees can't support her weight when she wants to get up and go to the buffet.

I could be wrong though. Sorry for assumptions.

[Anonymous No.5688940]

>>5688926
That's what gave it the dynamic effect. If she would have walked up and said "Hello, I'm Whalelynn, xxyy's friend.", this story would never have happened.

[Anonymous No.5688966]

>sister (18) has to go somewhere like 30 minutes away
>I (14) decide to ride with her
>on the way back we're looking for something to eat
>see a sign for cici's
>I'm a fatass kid so I'm into that shit
>she says "If we go to cici's, and I go into the bathroom and throw up, are you going to tell mom?"
>suddenly slapped in the face with the fact that my sister is bulimic
>I had no idea
>kind of shocked
>"uh...I'm not really hungry..."
>ride home was quiet as fuck

[Anonymous No.5688968]

>>5688966
Well that got dark quick

[Currently: 500 test/1000 tren/(...) !FAtLifts26 No.5688970]

>>5688966
That's an awful story, I feel bad now.

[Anonymous No.5689008]

>>5688966
Why did she have to even inform you of that? She could have just barfed in peace. I think she actually wanted you to know.

[Anonymous No.5689018]

>>5688926
She's not fat at all, just one of those people who are lazy and super concerned with her weight, so she thinks that eating everybody else's food won't count or something since she's not eating an entire plateful.

[Anonymous No.5689025]

>>5689018

All about calories man.

You can eat an entire plate of steam broccoli compared to a small bowl of ice cream and it'll still come down to the calories in the food.

[Anonymous No.5689038]

>>5689025
Since you process fat different than sugar that is not true.

[Anonymous No.5689051]

I have a major in bro science and I can tell you guys now that calories is ALL that matters. 2000 in and 2000 out. Stay below it and youre fine.

[Anonymous No.5689057]

>>5689038

If you want to lose weight, then yes it's all about the calories in and calories out.

What do you mean about processing fat compared to processing sugar? I was saying that you could eat more broccoli than a bowl of ice cream and it would be less calories because of the calorie content.

[Anonymous No.5689102]

>>5688815
I hate people like you, and I bet your friends secretly resent you for this shit.
>>5688857
This is the only way to handle this situation.

[Anonymous No.5689197]

>>5688815
>however, it is more about trying to connect, at least for me.

holy fuck, you are full of shit.

[Anonymous No.5689243]

>>5688968
>>5688970

Yeah, it's one of those weird traumatizing memories tht stick with you. You know, one of those things you can always recall years later that didn't seem that big a deal at the time but every time you recall it you're like "goddamn, I need a drink."

>>5689008

Yeah, probably some sort of subtle cry for attention. Don't know what the fuck she expected me to do though, I was only 14.

[Anonymous No.5689274]

>>5681962
That's the point.
Supply you with limitless amounts of pretty nice (but cheap) salad to stop you from eating an equal amount of very expensive meat.

[Anonymous No.5689277]

>>5689243
>>on the way back we're looking for something to eat
>>see a sign for cici's
>>I'm a fatass kid so I'm into that shit
>>she says "If we go to cici's, and I go into the bathroom and throw up, are you going to tell mom?"
>>suddenly slapped in the face with the fact that my sister is bulimic
>>I had no idea
>>kind of shocked

>Cry for attention

no, not really. more like cry for help. when you're bulimic you feel helpless, but the last thing you want to do is ask for help because a huge part of you wants to keep being sick. you're her brother and in no position of authority, so i can see her feeling that you were a "safe" person to open up to.

how is she now? just curious.

[Anonymous No.5689278]

>>5682573
I call bullshit, 12-24 hours is the onset of food poisoning even the norovirus dosn't work that fucking fast.

[Anonymous No.5689305]

>>5681546
>Also their owner died so thats what they get for being mean.
lol'd hard fucker

[Anonymous No.5689460]

>>5681749
I went to a chinese buffet and found motherfucking pizza rolls and garlic bread.

[Anonymous No.5689624]

>>5689057
What matters isn't calorie content but how much fat the food could build. There are many calories in a food which will never go toward fat building.

[Anonymous No.5689649]

>>5689624

You must be mistaken, it is the amount of calories you consume which make you gain weight. Not where they come from.

2000 calories of vegetables is the same amount of calories as 2000 calories of pizza. The physical exercise you exert is what determines if the calories go toward building muscle.

Fat is just looked down upon because it has the highest calorie content for a small amount.

[Anonymous No.5689736]

>>5689649
This is right. Without taking nutrition or health into account, weight is just about calories in vs calories out. Just as an example, if you burn 1000 calories a day but consume 2000 calories a day, you are going to gain weight.

[Anonymous No.5689798]

>>5683668
What is a wing chip?

[Anonymous No.5689847]

>>5688710
HAHASDTSERASHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU AND MY MOM SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND GO FUCK THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE THE SAME

[Anonymous No.5690064]

>>5689278
Its almost like he forced himself into believing that he was ill.

[Anonymous No.5690218]

>>5688367
>stingy guy with a camera who would take pictures of people who took too much food
wat

Was this guy an employee of the casino's buffet, or was he just some random asshole from New York City on vacation in Vegas?

[Anonymous No.5690233]

>>5688130
Me again. No, the first guy was actually being kind of polite and not taking everything. The old guy was way too far back and wouldn't have gotten anything anyway.

[Anonymous No.5690817]

>>5689277
>how is she now? just curious.

She's fine now, married, kid, career. Mentally healthy by all accounts, though she is overweight due to childbirth,

[Anonymous No.5691081]

>>5688366
How do you flush the floor?

[Anonymous No.5691106]

>>5688710
Your mom is flirting with you.