/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5465906]

How often do you poop?

[Anonymous No.5465918]

Loke erry day nigga cause that's how I rolls

[Anonymous No.5465923]

two to three times a day

[Anonymous No.5465928]

>>5465918
> how your teeth got exponents
haha funny nigga

[Anonymous No.5465931]

Once a week.

[Anonymous No.5465934]

1-2 times a week

[Anonymous No.5465935]

2-3 times on a normal day, first one is almost always 10-15 minutes after I wake up

less if I'm traveling or busy/around people all day

I don't really get those people who shit like once a week. And those people who take half an hour to shit.

[Anonymous No.5465949]

>>5465935
Is not that easy for everyone.

[Anonymous No.5465957]

>>5465931
>>5465934
>>5465949
Eat more fiber

[Anonymous No.5465959]

>>5465949
Maybe shitting is hard for people who don't eat any fiber.

[Anonymous No.5465967]

i can fix all of your poops.

i used to poop 4 times a day. now i poop once a day. i also had a phase where i pooped once every 3 days and it would take me forever.

You should choose your own schedule and see what works. Some people enjoy having a more "constipated" feeling. It means your shit is more compacted, and your digestion system works a little slower. A lot of big guys are like this. They'll have a very stable mood and anxiety level... and they'll take a rock-hard shit once every 1.5 days or so.

That's kind of where i like to stay at. I like to take a shit every 1.5 days, and have the shit be fairy solid. I want it to be like a big log that blocks the toilet hole.

When my hsit is all runny and i poop 3 times a day, im always restless, anxious, and my leg is shaking.... metabolism is naturally tweeaking. Thats not good. Thats like being on meth without the high.

So. If you poop too fast or your poop is runny, you need to add FIBER to your diet. Fiber is contained in fruits and veggies. You can also get metamusil or some shit, but that stuff will clog you up too fast. I suggest starting to add a full salad to your dinner. Then you will take a huge shit when you wake up in the morning and stat the day fresh.

If your poop is solid and it takes 3 days to come out... you have too much fiber, not enough water... (coca cola is NOT water) ... so you need to actually start eating either more carbs and protein, or just drinking a shitload more water. Like a gallon a day.

Okay? Any questions, shit masters?

[Anonymous No.5466265]

>>5465931
I have crohn's disease, I dream of shitting once a week, instead its anywhere between 1-5 times a day :(

[Anonymous No.5466276]

>>5465957
it's not just fiber...

take me as an example

For the past 4 or so weeks, I was pooping so well... 2 times or so a day every day, with no problem.

All of a sudden, I can't poop properly anymore, and my diet is the same (3 liters or so of water per day, 30 g of fiber).

It's very annoying... I'm currently trying different things to see what I can do to make it better.

[Anonymous No.5466280]

>>5466265
shitting once/twice a week isn't funny, you feel like a knife is coming down your anus...

shit's horrible

[Anonymous No.5466300]

>>5465906
1-2 times per day I suppose.

[Anonymous No.5466301]

>>5466265
try eating hemp seeds, and then eat less food each meal.
about 2 spoonfuls of ground hemp seeds each day.
mix em up in yogurt and eat that shit.

Got morbus chrons myself, but i get the remicade treatment every 6 months.
You getting treatment or not? got a few tips to minimize pain

[Anonymous No.5466312]

>>5465906
Every two to three days. I eat plenty of veggies, leafy greens, whole grains, etc. I don't drink soda, I drink at least two liters of water a day, I don't eat fast food (except for teriyaki once a week).

Been this way for a long time. Only time I was pooping every day was when I was eating oatmeal for breakfast everyday.

[Anonymous No.5466314]

>>5465906
2 to 3 times a day, sometimes four.

[Anonymous No.5466317]

I eat 114% the daily recommended amount of dietary fiber for breakfast every single morning, plus a high fiber diet throughout the day. I have taken shits you couldn't possibly imagine. I've been to whole new worlds of shit.

[Anonymous No.5466375]

>>5465957
I just don't eat much in general.
other than simple scrambled eggs in the morning I graze on whatever I have at hand.

lately that has been white chocolate chips or some chunk chocolate I use in baking

[Anonymous No.5466376]

>>5466265
I don't have crohns disease or any kind of diagnosed bowel disorder and yet I still poop around 4-5 times a day.

It's really annoying, my partner only has to go like once in the morning and that's it while I'm going like every two hours or so.

[Anonymous No.5466402]

I poop once a day.

[Anonymous No.5466410]

2-3 times a day

But it's usually like type 5 or 6

[Anonymous No.5466435]

>>5465906
The real question is "What's your bowel transit time?"

[Anonymous No.5466439]

>>5466410
I went on a bus trip and I was doing #6 the entire time. Then I got to my friend's house and kept doing them. All day. My girlfriend at the time was worried.

[Anonymous No.5466471]

As long as I go twice a day and they aren't brick shits I'm happy

[Anonymous No.5466497]

I only poop in the morning be it once or thrice.

[Anonymous No.5466508]

Since I started eating a cup of greek yogurt for breakfast, I always go twice a day, at 10 am and right after whenever I eat lunch. My bowels have never been cleaner.

[Anonymous No.5466531]

>>5465906
Shit fag

[Anonymous No.5466533]

>>5465923
Same here. Although I do have to go a lot more if I eat something fiber rich such as beans.

[Anonymous No.5466538]

Usually once in the morning, but if I'm hungover, it can sometimes be 3~5 attempted shits of flatulance and constipation, or like 5 shits of terrible burning McDonald's softserve.

Also, I'll get the kind of shit where I won't poop out everything a night before drinking, and then when I wake up to poop the following morning, it's like a cluster of black turds cemented into a snake of fresh light brown poo. It's like a mahogany version of Captain Keyes from Halo: CE.

[Anonymous No.5466545]

Every morning and often a second time in the afternoon.

You guise need chia seeds.

[Anonymous No.5466556]

I have to poop right now.

[Anonymous No.5466614]

>>5466556
I always poop.

[Anonymous No.5466619]

A
B
P


Always
Be
Pooping

[Anonymous No.5466635]

>>5465906
I'm pooping right now dude :D

[Anonymous No.5466663]

>>5466545
I've been using fibre supplements (who /fit/ here?). Are chia seeds less destructive to the colon?

[Anonymous No.5466665]

>"poop"
Ugh, Americans.

[Anonymous No.5466683]

>>5465906
Normally it is 1-2 times a week.
Almost exclusively on the weekends--no idea why.
Never painful, but always on the bigger side.

[Anonymous No.5466692]

Once a day, usually an hour or so after I wake up.

[Anonymous No.5466781]

>>5466619

[Anonymous No.5466816]

Typically once a day, sometimes twice. Usually type 3 or 4, but it's always so huge that the water in the toilet won't cover it. It's normally in one piece that wraps around the toilet bowl. I've always wondered why it's so big even though I don't eat much.

[Anonymous No.5466825]

>>5466683
eat more, please anon. I was like that until I was 18, at least get it to every other day

Eat your damn veggies and cut down the dairy/meat

[Anonymous No.5467508]

>>5466825
You should not change your diet to make better poops.
That is hippie bullshit.
Your goal as a human should not be poop production.

[Anonymous No.5467535]

once a day

[Anonymous No.5467550]

>>5466781
A
B
C

Always
Butt
Chocolate

[Anonymous No.5467564]

I clog toilets, /ck/.

I don't know why. Maybe it's my uninhibited, carefree and hedonistic way of shitting. Shitting to feel good and get that sweet release. Maybe its my high-in-oats diet. Maybe my butthole is just naturally wideset.

But I clog toilets.

I clog my toilets in my own house all the time. We keep a plunger both up and downstairs so I don't have to do that walk of shame.

But the shame is eternal.

I hope you never have to know that feel of asking your host for a plunger because you just clogged their toilet. That look in their eyes. Don't they know that this happens to people? Haven't they ever clogged a toilet? Of course they have. But it doesn't matter. They're totally disgusted by you, the man who just clogged their toilet. You're the most unattractive person in the world right in that moment because not only are you openly acknowledging that you just shit, but that you shit so much that the machine built to handle shit couldn't handle YOUR shit.

Fuck.

[Anonymous No.5467585]

>>5467564
Do you eat MREs regularly?

[Anonymous No.5467586]

>>5465906
Once a day, soon after I wake up in the morning. Very rarely I may have to poop again in the afternoon. Feels good being regular.

[Anonymous No.5467588]

>>5467585

No, my diet is pretty healthy. Oats for breakfast, lots of whole-grain bread, protein and fats from chicken thighs/drums, lots of veggies.

[Anonymous No.5467590]

>>5467564
>That look in their eyes

You have shamed them Anon, made them feel less of a man because their weak butthole cannot compare to the power lurking in your own anus. Their toilet does not measure up, their ass does not have the strength, and that look in their eyes comes from knowing that their shits will never be as glorious as yours.

[Anonymous No.5467595]

>>5467564
Oh fuck, I LOL'd.

Yeah, I have a family member who clogs toilets all the time, and we keep plungers in every bathroom when he visits. I couple of times, even that wasn't enough and the toilets overflowed.

[Anonymous No.5467596]

>>5465906
Once a day, after my morning coffee. Pretty smooth since I force myself to eat fiber after getting forced to get an operation for bleeding hemoroids last year. Not shitting blood really changed my life.

[Anonymous No.5467597]

>>5467588
How much water do you drink?

[Anonymous No.5467598]

3 times a week. I was on a vitamin and mineral supplement two years ago for 3 months, it had me shiting 3 times a day but it ended up giving me a hemorrhoids

[Anonymous No.5467600]

>>5465906
2-3 time a day. I love it.

[Anonymous No.5467611]

>>5467597

A fuckload, especially in the summer. I keep my apartment pretty warm so I'll knock out 5-6 1L nalgene bottles every day.

[Anonymous No.5467628]

>>5466410
I saw a print out of that chart glued to a pubic toilet

[Anonymous No.5467629]

Sicko city but what can u expect with low life trash on here.

[Anonymous No.5467641]

far too often
think i might have coeliac disease

[Anonymous No.5467661]

once every 1-3 days, I didn't know people had to poop more than twice a day, and even with weird circumstances like you ate something weird.

[Anonymous No.5467686]

Typical Chan regular.

[Anonymous No.5467780]

>>5467508
I don't plan on changing my diet.
>>5466825
I eat very little meat and I am lactose intolerant. Most of my diet consists of veggies and grains.

[Anonymous No.5467790]

>Used to pooping once a day
>Start bulking
>3 times a day
>My angus when

[Anonymous No.5467803]

>people actually count how many times they poop

[Anonymous No.5467814]

>>5467803
Not always but this thread made me notice that I double deuced today.
Once when I got up and once after breakfast.
Never after 10 am

[Anonymous No.5467821]

Once a day, usually in the morning around 9:30-10. Pretty regular.

[Anonymous No.5467843]

Every two or three days. I eat plenty of fiber, too.

[Anonymous No.5467845]

>>5467803

if you're shitting so much per day that recalling the amount of shits is no longer a trivial task, seek help

[Anonymous No.5467852]

>>5466375
Why not organise your eating into sensible meals?

[Anonymous No.5468967]

>>5467661
same here.
If you're shitting liquid three times a day then that doesn't sound healthy at all, that sounds like diarrhoea.

[Anonymous No.5468975]

For 3 years I shit
>5mins after I wake up (9am)
>After dinner (6pm)
>Before bed (usually 1-2am)

Its clockwork

[Anonymous No.5468989]

Once before work, once during work at lunch, and once before bed at night.
Even if i'm off work, my body still stays on that poop schedule every day, and i'm just fine with it.

I hate when I have a stomach bug that makes me shit off schedule, because then my body will still go through the motions of 'feeling like' i've gotta shit, even after i've spent an hour on the toilet shitting out half my small intestine.

[Anonymous No.5468995]

>>5466410

[Anonymous No.5469017]

>>5468995
wet wipes save lives

[Anonymous No.5469070]

>>5465906
I poop once every 5-9 days

the past few days I have been pooping out pieces from the same poop for about 3 days now. does anyone else experience this? It's the same poop because the first day of it, I pooped, but I could still feel the rest but I couldn't force it out. Later that day I pooped again, but I could still feel it. Same for yesterday, and today I finally got the rest out. Is it the same poop or is it the same poop and a new one formed behind it? Is my intestine a poop train station?

anyway, I posted a thread about my poop issues a few days ago and got a load of responses. I'm doing a food journal, but nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. I eat plenty of fiber, drink more than the daily recommendation of water, and don't eat fast food or soda. I even started drinking a hot cup of black coffee in the morning to try and get my body to poop more, but alas.

[Anonymous No.5469079]

>>5468995
>the unsolved crime

so when I was younger, I saw this happen to a guy. It was maybe 5th grade or something and we were at the zoo.

We were in a petting zoo section and all of a sudden this kid just shit EVERYWHERE It exploded out of his pants onto his shirt and everywhere else, it even was on somebody near him. He had to get rid of EVERYTHING he was wearing. They school bought him a tshirt, flipflops and some new pants and charged his parents.

it was by far the funnies thing I've ever seen but I have absolutely no idea how he managed it

[Anonymous No.5469121]

>>5469079
that's sad, not funny

[Anonymous No.5469130]

>>5469070
Poop train station.

[Anonymous No.5469131]

>>5469121
lol hows that sad... are you a vegetarian?

[Anonymous No.5469142]

>>5469131
It is sad. But 4chan doesn't have an ounce of empathy so they'll just laugh at someone's misfortune.