/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:19:41 2014 No.5339660 [Reply] [Original]

Food thievery story time.

I didn't choose my roommates this year at university, but I think I was relatively lucky - I get on ok with the people I live with, only, we have a problem with food going missing.
One of the people I live with is quite large. When food went missing I assumed it was him but then felt guilty, it's unfair to assume it's him just because he's overweight. I try to be understanding. Until last week.

>get home from work at midnight, ravenous
>earlier I had prepared myself a shitty frozen breaded chicken fillet because I knew I would be hungry upon my return
>go upstairs and turn on my computer
>hear fat guy come out of his room
>hear rustling in the kitchen
>oh, i guess he's preparing a good midnight snack
>go downstairs, there is a BITE missing from my chicken fillet
>I knew it was him because he lives in a different part of the house to the others and it;s easy to tell who is where
>can't eat it now, it's had fingers all over it
>why would you put it back in the fridge after taking a fucking bite?
>this isn't even the worst part
>notice a chunk of cheese on the side
>oh no
>look at my cheese
>a bite is missing from it... the bite had been spat out on to the kitchen surface
>why
>why
>other people's cheese had been chomped at too, but actually ingested
>my cheese is strong and didnt suit his tastes
>mfw he denies even being in the house at the time when asked about it

Other food that has been stolen includes a fucking shitton of cheese, potato chips, cereal bars, anything you can just pick up and eat.

Please help me A) think of revenge methods and ways to set traps and B) tell me your related stories.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:27:40 2014 No.5339672

>>5339660
That's sick. Nip it in the bud now OP before it becomes an awkward problem/murder. Since you are both intelligent enough to engage in tertiary education, you should both be adult enough to sort this out with calm discussion. If not, I know /ck/ will be able to give you some good ideas on how to fuck with his fat ass

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:27:40 2014 No.5339673 >>5339660 can you have him removed?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:34:40 2014 No.5339680 Step 1: make a cake with chocolate laxatives in it Step 2: wait

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:36:40 2014 No.5339682 put lsd on one of the foods one day lol

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:41:40 2014 No.5339687 >>5339660 >tfw i was that guy when i was rooming with other people ask me anything

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:43:41 2014 No.5339693

When my sister was in college, she lived on campus in a dorm that had a kitchen for the use of the girls living there.

It used to really aggravate her when she would cook something and then others would eat it.

One day she got her revenge. She got some goat droppings and made some kind of candy out of them. I have no idea what recipe she used. After they were done, she put them in the refrigerator.

The next morning, after they were all gone, she told everyone what the candy was made from.

She came really close to being kicked out of school for that.

Later, when she got married, she had a wedding dinner for family and participants at a local restaurant. The waitress was one of the girls who ate her goat dropping candy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 01:58:40 2014 No.5339706 OP, don't make the guy eat shit. Make something that looks delicious but tastes like ass (too much salt or vinegar) and try to secretly record him eating it.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:06:40 2014 No.5339720

>>5339706
But the jerk will just take one bite, spit it out, and leave the rest (probably he'll spit out the bite into the food that he leaves).

OP, if you can afford about $100, you can buy a Raspberry Pi and the camera module, plus a case to hold them. Also get a micro USB wifi plug. If you can hide it (and find a way to power it, either with batteries or with a plug), you can set up a surveillance camera that will email the photos to you whenever someone is moving around in the kitchen. Or have it take videos if you prefer. Either way, you can prove who is stealing the food, and maybe get him moved.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:11:40 2014 No.5339723 >>5339720 But it proves the faggot was eating his food, and he can call him out on it and tell his other roommates.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:12:40 2014 No.5339725 >>5339720 can you call the cops on someone stealing your food?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:14:40 2014 No.5339728 >>5339693 >college educated waitress THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:24:52 2014 No.5339738 >>5339728 My sister got married less than a year later. The waitress was still in college.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 02:53:50 2014 No.5339762

>>5339728
>>5339738
It's still a valid concern. If you're taking a degree in something useless, you can look forward to waitressing after graduation.

One of my classmates and I were out at a bar one night. The waitress was complaining about her $200,000 in student loans and she still wasn't done with her Ph.D. We asked what her degree was in. She was studying "ethnomusicology". After she left, we asked each other what the hell one does with a PH.D. degree in ethnomusicology.

Obvious answer is obvious.

Sceak Mon Apr 7 03:15:50 2014 No.5339785

>>5339660

When I lived with roommates, they sometimes used to steal my food. Bread, once a jar of mayo was found empty in my fridge.

What used to annoy me wasn't the few slices of bread, the cup of milk, or even the mayo. It was the fact that they'd let themselves into my place while I was away.

The magic behind it is rather interesting, too, but I honestly don't know why I even got set-up with the guy. It's not like he wanted to have a boyfriend or do anything with his life.

fml.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 03:18:50 2014 No.5339786 >>5339785 hi sceak

Sceak Mon Apr 7 03:30:51 2014 No.5339794

>>5339728

The amount of people with awesome formal education occupying other roles is awesome. Some by choice, others by lack of opportunity.

The more I get to know the neighborhood where I am and the people who live here, the more I realize that I might belong here, even if it's not where I want to be.

Never wanted my life to be like this.

>>	Sceak Mon Apr 7 03:32:52 2014 No.5339797 >>5339786 Hi. You doing OK?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 04:05:16 2014 No.5339829 File: 63 KB, 641x535, 1380255729158.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5339762 >ethnomusicology what the fuck am i reading?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 04:43:17 2014 No.5339860 Who the fuck takes a bite straight out of a cheese block? I thought I was bad because I'd sometimes drink OJ straight out of the jug if I didnt have anyone to worry about

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 04:52:16 2014 No.5339876

Ugh, that guy sounds disgusting.

Honestly any sort of 'revenge food' will just end with him spitting it out. One thing that might work is making something tempting like brownies and putting a fuckton of laxitives in it.

At any rate, I would either set up a camera to catch him and confront, or invest in a minifridge with a lock.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:00:05 2014 No.5339879

lol you can got forensic evidence now, get a forensic student onto him ..

after you spike one of his foods with something nasty.

I remember there was some story about how someone did revenge on someone who did they exact same with some sort of blue food, can't remember what though.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:02:06 2014 No.5339880 >>5339876 >One thing that might work is making something tempting like brownies and putting a fuckton of laxitives in it. Make them with mineral oil instead of vegetable oil. Put a note on them that says "don't touch".

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:04:06 2014 No.5339883 Get your roommates, get together one night, sneak into his room while he's asleep, then shove a pillowcase over his head and beat the shit out of him.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:05:05 2014 No.5339886 >>5339879 I read a good one about a gal who used that stuff that turns your teeth red when they have plaque on them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:05:05 2014 No.5339888 ghost pepper sauce on (pour it all in) something he likes, hear him scream. the thing about it is is that it takes a minute or so to start burning so he could be drinking it a while if anyone asks, you tell them you always have it like that

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:06:06 2014 No.5339890 Tanning pills or pharmaceutical grade beta carotene if you can get it is easily disguised in lasagne. The beauty is that it not only messes with them but it clearly marks them too.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:08:05 2014 No.5339893

>>5339886
yeah I think I know now!
they used a very strong but still edible dye
I must have been thinking collodiol silver but you could get into real shit with that.
Get a strong embarrassing dye and you caught the culprit

you better still be in here OP

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:14:05 2014 No.5339897 >>5339880 What does the mineral oil do? Wiki page offered me no answers

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:15:05 2014 No.5339898 >>5339897 Laxative, but castor oil is better. They squirt from both ends.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:27:05 2014 No.5339911 >>5339898 hell taste its shit and not much more than a snack size, its not worth it. just put a marker in it like dye.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:29:05 2014 No.5339913 >>5339898 Mineral oil is flavorless. Castor oil is nauseating. He would take one bite and spit it out.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:31:05 2014 No.5339916

Make some delicious meal with red pepper and hot chilis chopped to look like red pepper. Put it in a container with your name on it. If he then eats it and complains you can say that you made it for yourself but it was too hot so you didn't eat it and he has already admitted stealing your food

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:32:05 2014 No.5339918

>>5339660
I don't have any revenge stories, but there are so many horrible things you can do to a person. Ask yourself this however: is it worth going to prison for it? Are you okay with him getting you back for it, even if he does deserve it? Because even if it is worth it, there is the possibilty you could get fined, imprisoned, or slapped with a lawsuit from it if he's smart.

Just putting that out there. Just prank it safe OP.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:51:05 2014 No.5339940 >>5339918 >there is the possibilty you could get fined, imprisoned, or slapped with a lawsuit from it if he's smart. The dead guy wont sue.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:56:05 2014 No.5339943 >>5339940 Why kill when you can totally demoralise, crush and be able to constantly laud your superiority over him. Dead people are boring, making somebody regret every moment they live is far more fun.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 05:58:05 2014 No.5339944 >my cheese is strong and didnt suit his tastes oh god my sides i think you need to invest in one of those lockboxes for the fridge. also, take his food when the opportunity next arises.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 06:38:07 2014 No.5339973 Why don't you just tell him to stop eating your food?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 06:56:13 2014 No.5339984 >>5339973 I do not think he wants to risk getting devoured

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 07:21:45 2014 No.5340004 >>5339660 Slap his fat bitch face you beta faggot. Made me mad.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 07:27:46 2014 No.5340013

>>5339660
My uncle eats all the food my partner buys for me. I went to Cardenas for the first time last night and got a chicken burrito, finished half of it and put it in the fridge. Next morning it was gone and the shit lied to my face about not eating it. I wouldn't care so much if there weren't a thousand other things to eat in the fridge and the fact that it's ALWAYS food my partner buys me.

Plus he's constantly eating because he's always high, so he drains the food supply and never buys groceries for the house. Next time he gets leftovers I'm going to eat them right in front of him.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 08:20:45 2014 No.5340074 >>5339916 he won't complain because he spat cheese out on the counter

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 08:33:45 2014 No.5340094 >>5339916 He doesn't steal anything that requires effort. It's gotta be in take it and go packages.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 08:44:45 2014 No.5340112

Laxatives aren't that bad really in my experience. I eat sugarfree chocolate by the bucketload and I've never been overly bothered by the shits it gives you.

I guess it could cause some trouble if you weren't near a toilet, but I struggle to imagine it getting so bad you actually shat your pants.

Not to mention that I doubt he'd connect the weird shits with your food and thus would continue stealing from you. Fat people tend to be insanely delusional about what they willingly choose to put into their bodies, he'll just assume it was a virus or something. Same goes for other ways of fucking with the food, unless you proved it was consistently unappetizing or something he'll probably keep it up.

As amusing as making him eat something horrible/dangerous sounds I honestly think confronting him would be better. Even if he bullshits and feigns innocence the pressure will be on and will hopefully convince him to fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 08:50:45 2014 No.5340118 Here's what you do, OP Make every single piece of food that you plan for your roommate to eat full of weight gainer and protein powder. After awhile your roommate will be morbidly obese and won't know what happened.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:03:11 2014 No.5340202

OP here. Just woke up. This thread response is why I love you, /ck/.

Thank you all for your suggestions - I will be weighing up pros and cons. The guy is very stupid and already obese, btw.

I'm thinking laxatives would be good but not immediate enough. I'm considering ipecac, but it might taste like shit and I think that actually counts as poisoning him. Must research. It would make him vomit instantly, thus attracting immediate attention, and the rest of the house would catch him in the act.

People who suggested I eat his food - his food is shit, that's why he eats others. He actually said once that he doesn't buy cheese because he'd just eat it all. Frozen dinners, etc. Once I found a spoonful of my mac + cheese that I left out while I ate it missing.

I think if I actually poisoned him yeah, I'd end up in jail or kicked out, but I think spicy stuff would work well - a bit like ipecac without actually poisoning him. He likes stealing the kind of stuff you crave when you're drunk - so maybe chicken nuggets will be my next bait. Considering how obvious a trap that is, it will show how fucking stupid he is as well.

I actually set up a security camera (I used iSpy, such a good program, I set up my netbook in the kitchen as a CCTV camera and it recorded when it saw movement) just after christmas, but it didn't pick up anything cause these things only happen once every 2-3 weeks. I think I may try that again soon, he only steals stuff when he's been out drinking with his horrible friends.

Thank you, /ck/. Bless you all.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:04:11 2014 No.5340206 >>5339680 Laxatives taste like sharp metal and then rubber, you can't hide that vile taste

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:07:11 2014 No.5340210 >>5339660 Sounds like he has serious self control issues. Those people will always deny any accusations,

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:12:12 2014 No.5340217 >>5339682 A waste of good LSD m8

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:14:11 2014 No.5340225 >>5340206 also any potent laxative requires a prescription, over the counter stuff simply doesn't do anything

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:21:11 2014 No.5340235 >>5340202 Could always go the sugar free gummy bear route. Just empty a packet of normal gummi bears and replace with sugar free. http://www.amazon.com/review/R3FTHSH0UNRHOH/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R3FTHSH0UNRHOH

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:23:11 2014 No.5340237 >>5340235 Oooh, that's cunning

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:31:59 2014 No.5340249 >>5340235 what the christ

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 10:38:00 2014 No.5340261 >>5340235 These things are fucking evil

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 12:41:07 2014 No.5340491

Bonus stories: I found my sliced ham on the floor one morning, he'd eaten one slice and thrown the rest on the floor. He's eaten at least a tub and a half of my garlic cream cheese (on 3 occasions, he eats like half a tub at a time). Once it was this amazing garlic roule thing that I got for christmas - a chunk had been scraped out.
Another roommate got a bunch of cheese from her dad from a holiday, a shitload of that was eaten. Again, bitten.
A visitor kept his chocolate in my other roommate's cupboard, that vanished. A fucking VISITOR'S CHOCOLATE.

This isn't something I can nip in the bud, it's already plagueing us. Thing is I don't want to live with someone who's pissed off at me. I've actually started eating healthier cause I don't buy things that I think he'll steal any more. No yoghurt, I've had to throw away two blocks of cheese now, my cake goes missing, I have to keep things like potato chips and cupboard snacks in my bedroom.

I'm fairly sure my other roommates know it's him, we're just all too chickenshit to say anything.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 12:49:07 2014 No.5340505
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>bake delicious looking food laden with laxatives
>cupcakes, brownies, bread, lasagna
>leave them for a few days
>keep an eye on who is stuck on the toilet 24/7
>confront him on the way to the washroom
>don't let him past until he admits it and promises to stop
problem solved op

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 13:01:07 2014 No.5340521 >>5340235 >>5340237 >>5340249 >>5340261 I don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm diabetic and have become accustomed to sugar-free substitutes in candy, but I've never gotten the shits from overdoing it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 13:08:07 2014 No.5340529 >>5339672 you've obviously never been to college, half these people act like their in middle school

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 13:18:07 2014 No.5340547

>>5340491
just put a piece of food in your fridge in a tupperware with a big sticker DON'T EAT!!! Property of *yourname* on it and drizzle the food with a bottle of Visine eye drops. He'll have to go to hospital and there's a chance he'll die. If he tries to sue you you just say it was your property and it clearly said "don't eat"

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 13:33:07 2014 No.5340578

OP, just get a minifridge and a lock. honestly, it's the best course of action. no legal worries, no accidentally killing someone.

the bonus is that every single fucking time that fat fuck trundles into the kitchen to steal food, he'll be reminded of the fact that his roommates have to lock up their fucking food because he's a ravening faggot who cant control himself.

the best part is that if he ever, EVER complains about the lock, you can reply with "i had to lock up my food because if i don't you'll steal it all you fatty fat sack of fat shit tits."

get a good one though, because fatty WILL try to break it off one night.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 13:50:07 2014 No.5340620 Please please PLEASE do the sugarless gummy bears.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 14:19:07 2014 No.5340684

>>5340578
LOL you're absolutely right. I think a lockbox in our fridge will be less electricity-heavy. I can just imagine him trying to break into a lockbox. It makes me laugh to imagine it for some reason. I could keep things like cheese in it, most of what I have in there is veggies, raw meat and condiments. I would be able to buy chocolate mousse again!

I'm not going to poison him, because I would not put it past him to retaliate.

The gummy bear idea is solid. I could leave the bag in my food cupboard (which he has stolen shit out of before on multiple occasions) and just wait. Not much effort.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 14:20:07 2014 No.5340690 >>5340684 I hope you guys have more than 1 toilet

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 14:58:59 2014 No.5340762 >>5340547 You could be charged with attempted murder. If he dies, then it would be murder. That is really bad advice.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:22:00 2014 No.5340808 >>5340225 except mineral oil.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:23:00 2014 No.5340810 >>5340762 yeah, but it's also not true, so..

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:28:59 2014 No.5340824 >>5340810 it is true http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:36:02 2014 No.5340842 >>5339785 Dude! Welcome back. Post your nipples?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:39:02 2014 No.5340846 >>5339898 There's some stuff called "syrup of ipecac" that makes people vomit. I don't know how strong the flavor is, though. Parents keep it around in case their children eat something poisonous and need to be made to throw up.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:40:02 2014 No.5340847
File: 13 KB, 400x300, 4013540521_543d184733_o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5339883
>>5340578
These are the only way to reduce pilferege. Everyone who goes to uni has a flatmate who steals food because they are too cheap/lazy to buy their own.
Of 7 of us sharing a house we noticed one guy never bought anything to eat. he would steal a little from everybody and hope we wouldn't get together and figure it out. Notes won't work, telling him won't work. Getting up early for a house breakfast, papering over the doorway, clapping when he burst through, repeating and then putting the fridge in his way when he got cocky didn't work. In the end we bought a sliding door thing and locked him out of the kitchen. and then the house. And on the last day we stole every single one of his possesions except for a pair of socks and threw them in the canal.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:50:02 2014 No.5340867 >>5340684 Don't poison him, its already agreed putting a marker in something he eats like pudding that will stain his teeth gross and embarrassing or whatever.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:53:02 2014 No.5340871 I dont think laxatives will stop him. >>5340235 this shit is over hyped so people can gain 15 mins of web fame for their crappily written review.

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:57:34 2014 No.5340878

>>5340202
ghost pepper sauce that bitch
as said its not immediate in that one bite hell notice how hot it is - after 30 seconds to 1 minute it kicks in and it'll be too late for him to do anything about it. that's the magic of ghost pepper sauce. you can guzzle a heap of it and it will just taste like sweet chilli for a bit but after eating 1 or 2 "hot wings" you smuthered in the sauce hell feel like he's dying or something.

seeing is believing

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 15:58:33 2014 No.5340884 File: 16 KB, 337x228, HEHEHE.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5340118 top kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 16:09:33 2014 No.5340899 >>5339660 Bake a cake with rat poison in it. When the cops question why you would do that, say you were planning on giving it to the rats.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 16:09:34 2014 No.5340898 >>5340878 do this but hide all milk and keep around a colored bottle from soda which is filled with more ghost sauce diluted by water

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 16:35:22 2014 No.5340964

>>5340684

>The gummy bear idea is solid. I could leave the bag in my food cupboard (which he has stolen shit out of before on multiple occasions) and just wait. Not much effort.

Try to hide them behind shit so he thinks he found your secret stash

You know the fucker will eat half the bag

Anonymous Mon Apr 7 16:37:22 2014 No.5340974

>>5340808
Which is a mechanical laxative and not a chemical one. It's indigestible oil, so it goes right through you and out the other end. People use it as a laxative and they use it to keep gummies from sticking to each other. It's not poisonous, just hilarious.

On a related note, I have a roommate who mooches my condiments and replaces them with diet versions because she's a Korean girl and thinks everything marked 'diet' will make her pretty. So now I have fucking diet salt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 7 17:07:22 2014 No.5341035 >>5340974 diet...salt?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 00:35:22 2014 No.5341941 >>5340974 is it reduced sodium salt?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 00:40:22 2014 No.5341945 >>5339940 his family won't?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 00:43:22 2014 No.5341951 >>5340762 >You could be charged with attempted murder. nope

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:14:10 2014 No.5342044

>>5339785
first time living away from home, i had a roommate who ate everything

this was far from the only terrible thing he did (i tend to think he had a severe personality disorder that made him act out for attention but not realise how extreme he'd become) but the truly irritating thing was that he absolutely didn't care that he'd eaten all the food

he'd sit there eating food he knew he hadn't bought, not caring whether it was mine or one of the other roommates', and when he was done he'd leave us with the dishes

confronted - in a nice way, so far as that was possible - he just said "I eat when I'm hungry, I don't care whose food it is"

so we stopped leaving food in the fridge, fucking don't ask me why, moving seemed like a hassle and we were in private rental so there was basically no chance of kicking him out without a fight

he just stopped eating because his food supply dried up

>>5339762
>what the hell one does with a PH.D. degree in ethnomusicology

teaches, obviously

or writes those obscure books that get read by other people later on and used as part of their thesis; just because you've never understood collaborative education and research doesn't devalue it

placing an absurd dollar price on education and forcing the student to pay it up front does devalue education, but only in a general anti-intellectual way; but then if you rate schools according to financial exclusivity that's probably inevitable, and it's certainly inevitable in a marketplace where the suppliers essentially control a monopoly

what's worse is that obscure (but often important) fields in all areas go without research grants and teaching money because schools would rather train 1000 lit/lang grads than 10 doctors researching niche diseases with minute incidence, because the markup on those 1000 lit/lang grads is an order of magnitude greater than the markup on the 10 doctors

PS your degree is also from this degree mill system, and basically worthless

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:16:10 2014 No.5342047 >>5342044 your first half was good that last half is a sad mix of aborted social ideology

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:26:11 2014 No.5342061 File: 1.91 MB, 3264x2448, IMG_20140407_222237.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] We all know who did it, the same guy who uses our dishes then doesn't wash them

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:39:42 2014 No.5342082

>>5342061
Fuckin I lucked out, one of my roommates is a 400 pound cow who only eats hungry mans and deep fried shit, the other guys a conspiracy nut who has a HUGE closet full of canned goods/pasta and his own fridge for the impending doomsday, so that leaves me with the fridge to myself, and half the freezer to share with the walrus fucks hungrymans and other fatty fat foods

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:41:42 2014 No.5342085 >>5342082 Also, the walrus is a fat dyke who smokes and doesn't know why she has asthma. She was complaining today that I wear overs around the house. Fucking fat unemployed piece of shit

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:41:42 2014 No.5342086 >>5342047 Pfft

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:42:42 2014 No.5342088 >>5342085 I was thinking of a way to piss her off. Was debating pissing under her door when she's gone one day. Idk what else to do. She also fuckin doesn't flush the toilet enough so there's always little trussing there. Absolutely disgusting

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 01:43:42 2014 No.5342091 >>5342088 Little shits in there.. Fuck auto correct

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 02:22:29 2014 No.5342150 >>5339888 Can't you also get something capsaicinoids or pure spice or whatever they call it. It's flavorless but will set your mouth on fire.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 02:31:30 2014 No.5342165 >>5342150 Capsaicin* Like this www.amazon.com/Million-PURE-Capsaicin-Crystals-4-0ml/dp/B003XROF76

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:24:29 2014 No.5342259

>>5341951
Lawfag here. The visine thing would go far beyond negligence (stupid behavior without any intent), well into reckless indifference. While that doesn't supply the intent to kill, considering that OP is now aware that Visine can in fact kill someone if fed to said someone, putting out food contaminated with Visine would probably be sufficient for a murder conviction in most states.

"Oh, sure, I knew that Visine was potentially lethal, but I didn't intend to actually kill him with it!" doesn't really work well as an affirmative defense. Neither does "Oh, I thought shooting him would just wound him!" or "So who dies from being pushed down the stairs, anyway?!?!"

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:27:29 2014 No.5342264

>>5342044
>ethnomusicology
Or waitresses.

Yeah, apparently schools hire music teachers, and one can become a university professor, but let's face reality, those jobs are fewer and fewer, and taking out $200,000 in student loans (and still not being finished) to score a $35K teaching job just isn't very sensible.

>PS your degree is also from this degree mill system, and basically worthless
Umm, you don't know what my degrees are, and I'm doing just fine, thank you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:29:05 2014 No.5342268 >>5342044 Me >>5342264 again Oh, and I forgot to mention: "scholarship student". The school paid 60% of my tuition, and the rest wasn't all that much and was easily payable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:41:04 2014 No.5342289 >>5340898 kek

>>	54m50n !rFHRbO/sT. Tue Apr 8 03:46:04 2014 No.5342296 make a lot of really strong Sativa cannabutter, bake some brownies with it, and leave them in the fridge. maybe throw some DXM or some other dissociative in there as well

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:48:04 2014 No.5342300 >>533994 i like how you think

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:54:04 2014 No.5342310

>>5340762
To be charged with attempted or actual murder, he would have to be unaware or forced to eat it. Putting a warning note on it would be a loophole. If he eats it when the note says don't eat, is not murder he's an idiot and you are not liable for his idiocy, that's why many things says don't drink, yet idiots do.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 03:58:04 2014 No.5342313 >>5342310 Actually i think surviving might get you more in trouble, could sue you for '' pain and suffering'' or some emotional/psychological damage bullshit, in amurika lawyers can sue you anything remember

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:03:39 2014 No.5342381

>>5342310

If you leave poisoned food in your fridge in circumstances where your roommate has been taking your food no amount of warning notes or "don't touch" will vitiate your liability. The standard of care for not murdering someone is completely different from the property and theft standard of care you idiots are describing.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:06:39 2014 No.5342386

>>5342310
Umm, no. He's aware that his roommate is eating his food despite being told not to. He creates a plate of poisoned food that he places out there with a note saying "do not eat", knowing that the roommate routinely ignores such entreaties. Therefore he knows the roommate is likely to eat it anyway. He has no other justification for making food laced with poison. Ergo, he was doing it with the intent to poison the roommate. Thinking about it, it's not even reckless indifference, it's willful conduct being done knowing that the roommate may suffer and/or die as a consequence if all goes as expected, so it would fall squarely within most murder statutes.

At best, the would-be poisoner would be allowed to plead out to manslaughter or attempted manslaughter, which still can end up being ten or twenty years.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:07:39 2014 No.5342389 >>5342381 Great minds think alike, and all that. Also, I should learn to type faster.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:10:39 2014 No.5342392

>>5342389

I think it's often a little harmful the way people who are uneducated in it view the law. I mean, the idea that you could knowingly fucking kill someone and then think a court would absolve you because you put a "don't touch" sticker on the food is absurd when you take 10 seconds to think about your actions.

Your reply was slower than mine probably because it was better written.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:20:10 2014 No.5342412
File: 22 KB, 400x557, thug-life-tattoo-on-stomach[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I run a wholesale food distribution arm of a larger not-for-profit organisation.

Today I purchased some out of code dry groceries at cost price. I felt the cost of one item was still high at cost price so reduced it by an additional dollar.

TL;DR I ripped off our company by one dollar. Pic related.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 05:51:41 2014 No.5342441 >>5342392 Well, but they showed it all on Law & Order! If you can't trust NBC, who can you trust? >better written Thanks! But I like yours more, it was to the point. >inb4getaroomu2

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:02:13 2014 No.5342455

>>5342259
But the original post didn't say to leave the food out, it said to put it in a clearly-marked container reading "property of [OP]" in the refrigerator.

Still, I guess it would be troublesome to explain why you were just keeping a container full of poisoned food for yourself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:08:14 2014 No.5342464 >>5340762 > Visine > hospital. >>5342259 nothing in visine is toxic. It's fucking salene solution for god sakes. >>5340824 "false" means the opposite of true.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:14:13 2014 No.5342470

>>5342464
>The active ingredient in Visine eye drops is Tetrahydrozoline HCl 0.05%. Swallowing this substance can result in a number of nasty effects, including:
>Lowering body temperature to dangerous levels
>Making breathing difficult, or even halting it entirely
>Blurring vision
>Causing nausea and vomiting
>Elevating and then dropping blood pressure
>Causing seizures or tremors
>Sending the ingester into a coma

>Pfizer's cautions to users of Visine include: "If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away."

The "false" thing was specifically in regard to Visine giving somebody diarrhea. It doesn't do that, but it can send you into a fucking coma.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:17:13 2014 No.5342475 File: 39 KB, 1314x489, Cookie child.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] A classic

Shirley !gNKqagWUwc Tue Apr 8 06:19:13 2014 No.5342480

>>5340521
Lycosin is a motherfucking powerful laxative.

I don't think you understand the enormity of the fucking shits it causes. Aspartame is fine, but lycosin- motherfucker. THERE IS NO EVIL LIKE LYCOSIN.

>>5339660
Anyway, another idea. Make a cup of orange Jell-O. Only it's full of juiced ghost peppers. Leave it in plain view.

Wait for fat fuck to eat it... Then when it hits him, OHH BOY MAMA he will be crying like a bitch.

That's what you get for stealing people's food.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:27:13 2014 No.5342490 >>5342470 > The "false" thing was specifically in regard to Visine giving somebody diarrhea. It doesn't do that, but it can send you into a fucking coma. no it doesn't. I don't know where you got that information but it's false.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:28:13 2014 No.5342493 >>5342464 Do you have a learning disability?

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:32:13 2014 No.5342497

>>5342493

no i just don't believe bullshit on the internet. maybe if you drank like 10 bottles of visine you might get sick. Not a couple drops in a drink.

I've also read that Jesus watches everything I do, but still waiting for actual proof on that one as well.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 06:42:13 2014 No.5342512 >>5342497 You didn't even read it though

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 08:44:38 2014 No.5342635 >>5342475 I know its a joke, but I still want to kill him

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 08:58:38 2014 No.5342658

>>5342047
Not really, he had valid points. You are just too deep into the anti-intellectualism realm to understand that knowledge outside of the STEM fields is still critical to humanity. You don't seem to be able to appreciate culture and general critical thinking.

Your mentality would only cultivate short-term research programs related to flavor-of-the-month topics instead of pure science which may or may not have significant long-term benefits.

I bet you can name more philosophers and artists since antiquity versus STEM scientists. These people can (and do) have resounding impacts on our society. Studying the works of these, and lesser know, people prevents it from being buried in time. There is more to life and humanity than keeping people lingering for a few more years.

(I am a third-year PhD candidate in molecular biology, so don't accuse me of being a "hurrr ethnomusicology major")

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:02:41 2014 No.5342667

>>5342635
I used to be 'that guy' when I lived with room mates. I don't brag about it on /ck/ or even think about it much but yeah I would take food and leave dishes in the sink for a few days and smoke so much weed in my room that the house would stink.

Who cares life is too short to worry about insignificant shit like that. the fact that my room mates were passive aggressive little twats encouraged me to do that shit because there is nothing worse than someone leaving a note on the counter and not looking at you in the eyees after instead of talking to you like a man.

fuck em. If my room mates posted about my antics on /ck/ I would laugh in their faces and call them pussies. You 'victims are pathetic you can't man up and talk to someone

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:02:41 2014 No.5342668 >>5339660 mineral oil brownies. blow out his o-ring.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:13:39 2014 No.5342687

My roommates aren't bad to the point of stealing constantly but they do find ways to piss me off just for being inconsiderate dumbfucks:
>last week
>late at night
>I'm in my room asleep
>roommate texts me to ask if he can drink some of my alcohol
>I don't answer because I'm asleep
>next morning
>wake up
>notice the text
>go to the fridge
>he took a few good chugs of my liquor anyway even though I didn't tell him yes

>share pots and pans
>their pots and pans are scratched to shit because they stir with metal utensils
>mine looked brand new when I brought them here
>they always go for my cookware though because I actually took care of mine and theirs look like shit
>pots are slowly starting to gets etches in them
>baking sheets now have baked on grease and pizza cutter marks all over them
It's not really stealing I guess but I consider it fuckery for the fact that they're "unintentionally" destroying my property. And of course I can never get mad about it because "cookware is meant to be used anon and they're bound to turn like that eventually anyway and it's not a big deal bro."

And I wouldn't consider this stealing, but it does piss me off that I have cooked big meals on more than five occasions and have always offered them food, but they've cooked and never offered me shit except for stoner potatoes one time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:31:38 2014 No.5342713 >housemate was making fried chicken >needed 2 eggs >didn't have any and took mine >left a $1 in the carton >the whole carton of eggs was only $2 I don't want him to ever move out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:38:38 2014 No.5342720 >>5340898 I like you.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 09:40:38 2014 No.5342722

>sophomore year, uni
>living in student apts
>communal fridge for each floor
>make fuckton of chicken paprikash one night
>only container that fit it was my giant pot
>only place it could fit was communal fridge
>wake up next day ready for godly chicken paprikash
>some twat ate the whole thing and just left an empty, unwashed pot in the fridge

Never got my revenge. Fucking god damn assholes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:08:14 2014 No.5342751 >>5340847 you sound like quite the asshole, too. went really fucking over the top with the last one.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:11:30 2014 No.5342753 >>5342381 What if it was clearly labelled as poison?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:18:30 2014 No.5342762 >>5342753 If you keep it in the fridge, or next to food in general, I think it would be "intent to poison"

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:40:46 2014 No.5342790 >>5339944 >greased salt and diabetes-loaf

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:42:46 2014 No.5342791 >>5342762 So dodge the issue altogether and use hot pepper sauce. That is, after all, a "food".

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:46:46 2014 No.5342794 >>5340762 if you can be charged with attempted murder/murder for that you could be charged with attemptted murder if he drank your bleach from a bottle labelled bleach

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 10:47:46 2014 No.5342795 >>5342658 Yes, finally another brother STEM guy who isn't into juvenile, ersatz dick measuring. Maybe that shit will thin out later on though.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:24:46 2014 No.5342847

Not really an asshole story, but still gets a chuckle out of me when it suddenly pops up in my head.

>Living in a dormitory
>One guy I got to know, he's pretty chill so I offer him some of my food whenever he's around
>He's not a complete cunt, so whenever he brings back food, always brings me back something as well
>One morning sitting together drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes
>He's high as shit
>Says he's going to make breakfast
>Ask him if he doesn't mind giving me a little bit since I'm deadbeat tired for some reason
>"I'm... uh... really sorry anon.... but I don't think there's enough space in the pan."

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:26:46 2014 No.5342851 >>5342259 >the nigger gap is real oh fuck I thought my classmate was joking

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:32:46 2014 No.5342856

>Perpetual food stealer, did die down after each of my menu items below though
Laxative creme brulee
cheese and tomato focaccia (made with oil infused with a ton of chillies/peppers/chilli powder/curry powder for over a week, I think that nearly killed him)
Lastly (not mine - another pissed off flat-mate) cut hot dog down the middle and stuffed it with the hottest chilli powder he could find, made up the hot dog but and covered the cut with usual condiments - that one caused a coughing fit though

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:39:47 2014 No.5342865 >>5342791 agree. pure capsaicin.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:50:46 2014 No.5342873 i think you'll find the solution to this problem is to make really bad food like just become bad at cooking then no one else will want to eat your food, and you'll be able to have it all by yourself thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:51:46 2014 No.5342874 -marinate chicken in ghost pepper hot sauce -coat in flour and fry it -leave in fridge I could pull it off because people know I'm one of those assholes who likes spicy ass shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 11:53:46 2014 No.5342876 >lock up your food >eat his food when he starts buying it

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 12:27:46 2014 No.5342919

A-revenge is seldom, really never,asicee as you might hope. payback might be hell, but not for you to deal out or decide. vengeance is mine says God,people who set traps tend to get caught in them theirslveves B- thanks op.Many tales thrice told. refer to A. nothing I might add Vengeance or Revenge is not worth the time you have. lessthanstupid. like hate

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 12:47:46 2014 No.5342953 >>5342296 OP here. I did actually leave some curry made with cannabutter (my friends and I make it a lot, it's AWESOME) in the fridge and some vanished and the housemate who steals was "ill" that day. Hrm.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 12:48:46 2014 No.5342956 >>5342296 ALSO if I make that i'm not fuckin sharing

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 12:55:46 2014 No.5342967

>>5342687
ugh I'm exactly the same regarding pans. My mom bought me a new frying pan for christmas, not even opened it yet because I don't trust fucking anyone. I have one good nonstick pan and I cherish it like my firstborn child. Fuck people who don't look after cookware properly

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 14:51:14 2014 No.5343145

We once had this girl that got fired from my job because she got so fed up with someone stealing her food that she put a shitload of crushed laxatives on her food and left it in our fridge. Sure enough, the food thief ate her food and hours later we found the guy collapsed in the bathroom. He had to be taken out to the hospital. It was sweet revenge but at the cost of her job, the guy got nothing but a slap on the wrist.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 15:08:14 2014 No.5343183 >>5343145 I think that would be worth it.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 15:13:14 2014 No.5343198

>>5342667
I know you're a asshole.

But have you ever thought that maybe the reason you might actually be this asshole for so long is because you're the coward?

You never pick on the alphas. Only the beta's.

I think it's you who's the real retard in this conversation.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 15:30:06 2014 No.5343241 >>5339984 OP did, fatass just denied it

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:43:38 2014 No.5343554 >>5342088 Shit in her pillowcase while she's out. Flip it so she doesn't realize until later.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:51:38 2014 No.5343579 Most people act to the standard they were kept to at home, before they moved out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:52:38 2014 No.5343581 >>5342722 How could you at all let that go by with no consequence?

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:53:38 2014 No.5343587

>>5343198
>a asshole
>the beta's.
Anyway, I don't categorize people as "alphas" or "betas". I am highly opportunistic and push people no matter what their social status or physical state is.

I am 6'3, 240 lbs. People are usually intimidated by me, especially when I glare at them.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:55:39 2014 No.5343593 >>5343587 Jumping into conversation here Why is it when people want to seem intimidating, they list their height? Height has absolutely nothing to do with being intimidating and aggression

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:55:39 2014 No.5343595 >>5343587 So what you're saying is that you're a big asshole?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 17:56:39 2014 No.5343597 >>5343587 Sounds like you really need someone to kick your ass, holy shit.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:00:38 2014 No.5343603

>>5343593
>Why is it when people want to seem intimidating, they list their height?
Because physical statute intimidates people.

>>5343595
I am a wolf and you are a meek rabbit. Deal with it.

>>5343597
Last guy to try that was 6 years ago. I fractured his orbital socket and smashed his nose.

Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:02:38 2014 No.5343607

>we're out of milk
>know that if I buy a gallon it'll be gone in 4 days
>buy unsweetened almond milk because i'm the only one who likes it
>pour a bowl of cereal just now
>carton is half empty
>proceed to write my name all over it to hopefully stop it

I guess when you want cereal you're willing to use whatever's in the fridge

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:03:38 2014 No.5343611 >>5342667 >>5343603 >>5343587 Someones living in a fourchan fantasy land.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:05:38 2014 No.5343617 >>5343603 Oh my God, get over yourself. >Acting like tough shit on an anonymous imageboard.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:06:38 2014 No.5343622 >>5343603 >lying online to seem tough come on m8

>>	54m50n !rFHRbO/sT. Tue Apr 8 18:09:38 2014 No.5343628 >>5342953 >>5342956 throw in a bunch of DXM, salvia, datura, other dissociatives/deliriants in there then. make that thief have a nightmare trip

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:26:39 2014 No.5343648 >>5343628 What are you doing out of your cave?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:30:38 2014 No.5343653 >>5343603 Last guy to try that was 4 years ago. I shot him in the chest and left him to die in a back alley in Vegas. See? I can make up unsubstantiated bullshit too.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:42:33 2014 No.5343671 >>5339888 This. Put it in a chicken and avocado sandwich and watch his mouth burn.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 18:51:34 2014 No.5343687 File: 103 KB, 469x350, Old_Gregg_01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5343648

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 20:32:50 2014 No.5343870 lol archive this bullshit

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 22:10:11 2014 No.5344070 >>5342658 >knowledge outside of the STEM fields is still critical to humanity Arts and cultural studies have their place. Spending $250,000 that you don't have on three degrees (BA, MA, Ph.D.) learning about how Africans pound on drums is retarded.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 22:14:10 2014 No.5344076 >>5343653 >implying Vegas has back alleys

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 8 22:26:10 2014 No.5344094 >>5339829 one of my friends is in school for this. it's actually really cool, but by no means is it something that makes money. I mean, if music is your passion, then this is one of the best things for that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 14:58:29 2014 No.5345717 >>5342386 still wrong. you're making an awful lot of assumptions about him. he doesn't want his shit touched, whether it's laced with something or not. quit being an apologist.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:12:15 2014 No.5345908

>>5342259
Nothing in Visine can kill you.

What are you?
The most inattentive wannabe law student in existence?

Use your critical thinking skills, if you have any.

Almost any commercially available product in the US is idiot proof. They assume some retard will eat it or scam for a lawsuit.

You could drink a glass of Visine and nothing much will happen.
It's been reformulated, it used to only cause stomach upset but now it causes nothing at all.

Now Chinese made knockoff Visine "Extra Strength"; That's another story.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:23:15 2014 No.5345929

>>5342470
Taken from Acetic Acid 5% solution MSDS
(Material Safety Data Sheet)

Section 3: Hazards Identification
Potential Acute Health Effects:
Hazardous in case of skin contact (irritant), of eye contact (irritant), inhalation (irritant). Slightly hazardous in case of skin
contact (permeator), of ingestion. Liquid or spray mist may produce tissue damage particularly on mucous membranes of
eyes, mouth and respiratory tract. Skin contact may produce burns. Inhalation of the spray mist may produce severe irritation
of respiratory tract, characterized by coughing, choking, or shortness of breath.
Potential Chronic Health Effects:
CARCINOGENIC EFFECTS: Not available. MUTAGENIC EFFECTS: Mutagenic for bacteria and/or yeast. [Acetic acid].
TERATOGENIC EFFECTS: Not available. DEVELOPMENTAL TOXICITY: Not available. Repeated or prolonged contact with
spray mist may produce chronic eye irritation and severe skin irritation. Repeated or prolonged exposure to spray mist may
produce respiratory tract irritation leading to frequent attacks of bronchial infection.

Ingestion:
Do NOT induce vomiting unless directed to do so by medical personnel. Never give anything by mouth to an unconscious
person. Loosen tight clothing such as a collar, tie, belt or waistband. Get medical attention if symptoms appear.

This is vinegar without impurities in case you don't realize.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:23:15 2014 No.5345932 >>5345908 nah not really though... a quarter of a bottle can poison you, just google visine poisoning arrest

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:24:15 2014 No.5345933 >>5344094 Why not get a Music Performance degree and hope an old fuck in a symphony dies so you can make hella bank?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:41:51 2014 No.5345984 >>5345933 because it's about studying music in every way, not just sound or through music theory, but inclusive to culture and all that shit not about performing

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:46:51 2014 No.5345999

>>5345984
Without performance there is nothing

I don't see a reason in missing the most important part.

And I was taught there are only three parts to Music as a whole

-Performance
-Theory
-History

And both theory and history relate back to being able to play a piece in the way it was intended. Examples being lowing the third in a major triad 14 cents and swinging jazz pieces.

This just in /ck/ is more respectable music conversations that /mu/

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:50:51 2014 No.5346008 >>5345932 Being charged with poisoning and actually succeeding in poisoning are two very different things. Also look at the dates of the charges.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 16:51:51 2014 No.5346010

>>5345999

i think you got the whole thing screwed up. teh best mucisians i've observed dont give a shit about performance, theory, or history.

they just feel the fucking music. literally. they become one with it.

one word: Expression.

> express yourself

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 18:03:50 2014 No.5346130

>>5346010

Not either of you, but:

The study of music and the creation of music are two entirely separate fields for me. I'll study theory and history, but playing just comes naturally, the instrument as an extension of the expressive voice. Of course, while playing, I will recall and apply bits of theory, or recall and apply the musical stylings of the late, great, jazz swingers, but these have nothing to do with the creation of music. I believe the best musicians respect and study history and theory, but realize the distinction between the structure of the music and the music itself.

That said, anyone who pursues a degree in a non-professional area should kill themselves immediately. The arts are a wonderful thing to study, but there's nothing you can learn (about the arts) from a teacher and textbook that you can't learn from observing and immersing yourself in the arts.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 20:32:20 2014 No.5346479

>>5346130
Erm, I study art in the UK so I think it's a lot different from in the US, but we're not taught from textbooks. We're taught mostly practically, through making work and talking about it (and making notes). Our professors' aim is to help us develop as artists and to create work that challenges us and those that view it. We're not graded according to how "good" or "bad" our art is, it' graded on criteria like "developed their use of materials" (ie learned a new trick or started playing with new materials). We have to write essays and research artists and concepts as well but that's a relatively small part of it (20% of the grade on my course).

We're very immersed in the art world as well, obviously - our tutors have industry contacts and we meet a lot of artists, as well as going on trips to galleries and reading books (although at this point we're expected to do that independently)

Funny how people who are critical of art or art education tend to be completely oblivious of how it works

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 20:51:20 2014 No.5346569

I used to have this problem when I had room mates a few years back. I bought my own mini fridge with a lock on it. I also rigged up a camera to snap a photo of anyone trying to tamper with the fridge when I wasn't around and email me the photo. Never had an issue with stolen food again. Only used the fridge for storing bottled water and leftovers though since it didn't have a freezer section to store meats for cooking.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 20:52:20 2014 No.5346572

Buy little snack cakes. Unwrap. Replace cream filling with mayonaisse, ketchup, hot sauce, chocolate syrup, all together for a nasty mix of conflicting flavors. Pile a few on a plate, in plain site on counter or in fridge. Set up your security camera for evidence and lols.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 21:18:20 2014 No.5346665 how has no one said dog food yet? get some wet pet food and doll it up with bbq sauce leave it to be found

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 21:34:20 2014 No.5346708

Mini fridges are cheep, especially around a uni. Look on craigslist, or wait around when people are cleaning out their dorms (at which point it will be too late).

Otherwise, they make some halfway decent lockboxes for very low cost. Not the fancy fireproof ones that big stores sell, but little ones just made from metal.

There is a type of dye that can be had via friends in the chemistry department, called phenolphthalein. It is a slight laxative and diuretic, but it turns urine red. Could be worth it if he freaks out about it, but then its a catch 22 because he could still probably make a big fuss about it.

I lived with someone like this and dealt with it by reducing my meals to 1-2 per day, only at fast food joints. Didn't really solve the problem tho, and I got pretty sick of it. I guess if all your other roommates know too, then maybe have some kind of meeting about it? Too bad there's not a bunch of you, I'd envision some kind of Private Pile blanket party scenario with bags of smelly cheese.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 21:45:20 2014 No.5346740

My house mates have a habit of using my bread and then putting it into the fridge. Along with my mustard and ketchup. I don't understand this. When I asked why, they said its how they were raised, and its the right way to store it. My family owned several establishments and over the years we never hid ketchup or mustard in the fridge.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 21:58:20 2014 No.5346771

>>5346479

Yeah, that's bullshit. Why not develop skills and research art on your own? Go to galleries on your own? Interview artists outside of a classroom? Read? Practice your art?

I see no reason why you should go to school for this, art comes from a) practice and b) within the artist.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 23:44:29 2014 No.5347058

sort of a semi reverced asshole moment.

> come to a party, food is on the house.
> warn afew people that once im drunk I get hungry, VERY hungry.
> people laugh it off for the moment.
> later im piss drunk laughing and carrying on, say sorry afew times but they say it was no sweat, they are pretty hammered too.
> Pizza, mexican food and chinese is here.
> i start inhailing everything I can hold till I flop in one of the chairs stuffed.
> it gets kinda hazey but hey I didnt throw up once I wake up the next day.
> im on the coutch and intact, survived the marker pictures on the face by somehow covered in coats and shit.
> 'whoah anon your still here? oh dude you ate out my fridge man, I thought you where gana barf all over the place'.
> told him I get fucking ravionous when im drunk, offer to pay what I had eaten from there fridge but they said it was ok, told him he was cool and sent him a check later on any way, feel like a shit if I didnt.

I take the time to warn people ahead of time that I do that kind of shit but atleast I pay them back.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 9 23:49:29 2014 No.5347075 >>5347058 So you use getting drunk as an excuse to lose control of yourself? Sad. And your vice is food instead of sex? Sadder. Then you write checks to cover your shame? Pathetic.

Anonymous Wed Apr 9 23:59:29 2014 No.5347101

>>5339660
> there is a bite missing from my chicken fillet

Damn that blows. Its not too bad t-

> look at my cheese
> a bite is missing from it

Remember its always easier to move a body in parts. If you can, feed as much of it to wild animals as possible

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 00:04:29 2014 No.5347118 >>5342919 wisdom

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 00:12:49 2014 No.5347146 >>5347101 reminder that crocodiles and alligators love ham and you can buy hams and tie them to a persons body and the alligator will get confused and eat everything

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 01:17:26 2014 No.5347306 >>5343581 there were 7 other apts on that floor alone. could've been anyone. plus I was lazy as fuq

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 01:47:25 2014 No.5347380 >>5340898 >>5340878 THIS

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 01:51:26 2014 No.5347390 >>5346740 most bottles say to keep refrigerated once opened

Anonymous Thu Apr 10 03:09:46 2014 No.5347558

>>5339660
The way I see it, you have a few options. None are perfect.

#1 You can resort to chemical or biological warfare, which can easily go to a very dark, legally actionable place.

This is less than optimal because if you make laxative brownies or e. coli contaminated chicken, the odds are good he'll respond by doing worse to you or calling the cops. This race to the bottom can only end in murder or incarceration.

#2 You can start storing your food in padlocked metal canisters/thermoses ala Mel Gibson from 'Conspiracy'.

This is less than optimal because for one, it requires a lot of space. It's also probably going to encourage more bad behavior on his part because you have assumed a defensive posture.

#3 You try to talk it out with him and involve the RA. Consult the laws of your state, and record audio of confrontations with him if legal. Google 'wiretapping law ____' where ____ is your state.

Bring any evidence gleaned from those recordings to the attention of the school. Play it calm, don't appear vindictive or unreasonable.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 03:12:47 2014 No.5347564 >>5346740 Go google 'starch retrogradation refrigerator bread' without quotes. Print the page out for your roomie. Ketchup goes in the fridge once opened. Mustard doesn't matter. It's mostly vinegar and salt.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 03:37:04 2014 No.5347626 OP, http://www.vice.com/read/sugarless-gummy-bears-are-not-safe-for-humans You know what to do.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 10 22:43:06 2014 No.5349606 File: 15 KB, 630x430, ambien-walrus-and-the-cookies.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5347626 Three hours from eating to assplosion. Another /ck/ myth busted. Let's go for a drive.

Anonymous Thu Apr 10 22:52:07 2014 No.5349628

>Have a burning desire for tea when everything's closed
>land lady is out for the week
>sneak into her cupboard and take three bags of tea
>make tea out of said bags
>before she comes back, buy her better quality tea and replace the teas I borrowed twice over

THE PERFECT CRIME

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 12:41:17 2014 No.5350891 Sleepingpills and laxatives. Have fun ;)

Anonymous Fri Apr 11 17:01:06 2014 No.5351386

>>5339888
>buddy has a bunch of ghost chiles that he bought years ago
>decide to stick a couple in a bottle of vodka
>wait a day
>serve ghost chile shots at a party
We had dudes crying in the lawn. We also had my buds little Chinese girlfriend do multiple shots.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 17:18:06 2014 No.5351407 >>5346771 you could say that about anything school makes the learning process faster

Anonymous Fri Apr 11 18:21:06 2014 No.5351506

>>5346771
Not that guy, STEM master-race (toppest kek).
There are other benefits to higher education other than the actual education e.g. social skills, networking, transferable skills and actually having a degree. Also in the UK going to uni doesn't cost all that much.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 18:26:06 2014 No.5351522 >>5344076 You've obviously never been to Vegas. It's like 20% back alleys.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 18:56:06 2014 No.5351584 >>5346010 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=1opFd7k-fkQ#t=322 >express yourself

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 19:24:06 2014 No.5351676 >feed fat fuck Ghost Pepper Friend, what are you screaming about

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 19:33:06 2014 No.5351711 >>5342873 he's eating cheese

Anonymous Fri Apr 11 20:52:03 2014 No.5351831

>be me
>grew up in asia with maids
>leave messy bed
>go to school
>come home to fixed bed and clean room
>lifes good

>2014
>leave country for murica
>no maids
>dont know how to cook or clean
>mfw my room is messy and roomies complain im a slob and steal their food

Anonymous Fri Apr 11 21:38:55 2014 No.5351955

>>5342667
>life is way too short to worry about insignificant shit like that
Did you ever think that if you don't worry about it, someone else has too? Otherwise you come back from "living" to find the place you live is infested by pests and smells bad. It's not as insignificant as you think.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 22:51:55 2014 No.5352102 File: 836 KB, 469x348, 1374275506486.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5339660 Sprinkle food with lead, no taste and becomes a mongoloid. Blame on lead piping in house, the perfect crime.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 22:53:55 2014 No.5352104 >>5351831 My mom grew up with maids and I spent part of my childhood with maids. Neither of us are slobs nor do we have boundary issues with other people's property. You just had neglectful parents.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 11 22:54:55 2014 No.5352109 >>5352104 why do u think theyre neglectful parents?

Anonymous Fri Apr 11 22:59:55 2014 No.5352117

>>5352109

Because if you intuitively understand food to be something that magically appears without any effort on anyone's part, and "accidentally" steal people's food without understanding that it would be a problem, you were not raised properly.

My mom encouraged the maids to take me with them to the market, let me hang out with them when they cooked and cleaned and sometimes had me help them with stuff. I understand that's not normal behavior in some households but it helps you not be socially maladjusted and see the maids as non-persons, like in some families I've met (particular Indian households).

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 12 18:15:28 2014 No.5354000 >>5339725 yeah

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 12 21:52:12 2014 No.5354397 >>5352117 idk if i should feel bad that i am those kind of families you mentioned. i sorta feel indifferent about it

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 11:10:07 2014 No.5355390 >>5352117 I know what you mean completely, but to be fair in india the maid/service/help is usually dirt poor. It was a weird experience because they had no problem with being non-persons.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 11:53:07 2014 No.5355471 That's absolutely fucking disgusting. Best option is a public shaming. Get all your roommates together and call him out publicly for being a disgusting fat fuck.

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 16:59:06 2014 No.5356081

I used to lodge in this absolute mansion where five of us lived: the couple who's house it was and two other lodgers. One guy was an absolute dickhead with food (as well as other things) to the point where I think he was trying to be all alpha male and cool-jock-who-doesn't-care about it.

>Landlady is having her family round for a Sunday roast
>Saturday night
>Come in to dickhead housemate cooking something that smells divine
>Ask what it is
>"Duck"
>He'd cooked the duck that our landlady was going to feed her family with
>Stick a pizza in the oven
>I'm a bit amazed that he'd actually do something like this, but I hadn't known him that long and couldn't really have a go at him yet
>He'd already cooked another housemate's food that night, but threw them away when he bit into one and it was Quorn
>Pulls the duck out the oven
>Just puts it on the counter, juices leaking everywhere, and starts to rip chunks off
>We live with two dogs who are going mental now
>Throws them chunks
>I close the oven door because my pizza's still in there
>Realise he's drinking our landlady's husband's whisky
>This is like £100+ whisky
>Swigging it from the bottle, trying to look like a pirate or something
>He's backwashing chunks of duck into it
>Pours some on the dogs
>Clearly had enough
>Grabs the duck, only eaten like 1/4 of it
>Juices leaking all over the floor
>Dumps it in the bin
>Walks off

I heard our landlady shouting at him about it a few days later. He pretended to cry, and told her she'd upset him, and he had no money to buy food. Not the last story about him, but one of the more dickish things he did in our time living together.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:24:05 2014 No.5356135 >>5356081 Holy fuck what is wrong with people?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:25:05 2014 No.5356138 >>5356081 >[chav intensifies]

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:42:06 2014 No.5356168 >>5356081 >trying to look like a pirate or something Kek

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:44:05 2014 No.5356174

>>5356138
He was actually quite middle class and not chavvy at all, just a bit of a douche.

>Be me
>Have friend
>Both like cognac
>Decide to buy a big-ass bottle of Courvoisier
>£80 this bottle cost us
>Drink some of it
>Stop drinking pretty soon
>Crazy cognac sex, shit was cash
>Few nights later
>Wake up
>See my housemate sat at my desk swigging from this bottle
>Think I'm dreaming and go back to sleep
>In the morning the bottle's nearly empty
>Pissed as balls
>Don't see him for a while
>Forget about it
>Remember a few weeks later and call him out on it
>"That was one time, alright!"
>Tell him I've noticed him taking my drinks, as well as seen him take everyone else's with my own eyes
>Pretends to cry
>"You've really upset me now!"
>Fuck'n housemates

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:45:05 2014 No.5356175 >>5342713 d'aww

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:46:05 2014 No.5356180 >>5356174 I'd have fucking beaten him senseless and given him something to really cry about.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:52:05 2014 No.5356191 >>5356174 >He was actually quite middle class and not chavvy at all, just a bit of a douche. That's actually a bit terrifying.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 17:55:06 2014 No.5356195 >>5347075 Not who you replied to, fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 18:00:05 2014 No.5356203 >>5356081 Please tell me he was evicted

... Sun Apr 13 18:04:05 2014 No.5356211
File: 7 KB, 256x192, Le Roule.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5340491
If this helps, that cheese was probably La Roule, the garlic herb version. A lot of specialty cheese shops or even stores with an imported cheese section will either already have it, or if you ask they would most likely bring it in for you. It's pretty inexpensive as far as specialty cheese go as well!

>>	... Sun Apr 13 18:09:05 2014 No.5356215 >>5341035 >>5341941 It's probably potassium chloride or the salt with larger salt crystals so that by volume there is less sodium. The potassium chloride one sucks because most people find it really bitter and off-tasting.

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 18:23:01 2014 No.5356251

>>5356203
No, it never got quite that bad, though it was pretty close a few times. These are shitty housemate stories, but we'd have fun times together too. He was a student, so I guess we all knew when everything was gonna end, and our landlady was absolutely lovely and wouldn't have kicked him out unless he was really really shitty. This one isn't food related, but is the only other why-would-you-even level of dickery I can remember right now. It's just made up from different accounts, so the actual event was probably a bit different.

>Douchey housemate, chilling at home
>Greenpeace guy comes a-knockin' at the door
>In the UK they try to sign you up to monthly donations
>Housemate fills out the form, but puts landlady's husband's name at the top
>Takes all the mousemats and badges and whatever else they give you to say thanks
>Goes back to eating other people's food, or whatever he does with his free time
>Fast forward to next day
>Knock knock
>Who's there
>Greenpeace
>Our landlady answers this time
>Mr Greenpeace must have made a mistake, very sorry, could he just double check the bank details because they're coming back as wrong
>Fetches her husband, since it's his name on the form
>"I don't know anything about this"
>"I spoke with a young man yesterday"
>They fetch out the housemate, who'd been hiding in the kitchen
>He pretends to cry
>Quelle surprise
>Tells landlady to get rid of Mr Greenpeace
>Mr G is very confused, takes his leave
>Housemate says how Mr G had come into the house and was threatening him, and he had to fill out the form to make him go away, sob sob, yada yada
>Landlady phones up Greenpeace and has a massive go at them
>I hear her shouting "You should be ashamed of yourself" over and over again
>Thought she was shouting at the dogs
>Housemate later brags to me about it
>That guy probably got fired
>Might even have had police involved
>Housemate pinned Greenpeace badge to his coat
>I don't even

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 19:29:31 2014 No.5356477

seriously WHAT could he have fucking done to have gotten evicted?

If SOMEONE drank ALL my shit and CRIED in front of me when I confronted them, haha holy shit I'd really break him down. I wouldn't give a fuck and if anyone said anything I'd talk about how hard my life is how hard I have to fucking work and then come home to some fucking grown ass man eating my shit and crying like a little girl.

I'd probably have threatened him to never do that shit again, I mean really what type of man cries.. like CRIES TEARS when confronted.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 19:43:31 2014 No.5356525 >>5356477 Pseudo-sociopaths that don't want to take responsibility for their actions. First world countries are full of them.

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 19:57:31 2014 No.5356555

>>5356477
His line was always "you've really upset me now". I imagine this worked once then he just stuck with it. Really, what can you do when a guy's standing there crying because you called him out on being an asshat? He clearly hasn't got his life together and you're a bit powerless to do anything more than ask him not to do it again. Our landlady loved him - it was more like a family setup than anything else, so I think she saw him as a kinda wayward son and forgave all the ridiculous crap he pulled. Somehow it is easier to accept an apology from someone who eats your duck than it is from someone who never does his washing up. Not that he did any washing up. Or apologised...

There was a Spanish guy who didn't speak great English with us as well, and I think he got the blame for quite a bit, but then forgiven because it was just seen as a cultural misunderstanding. That's just a guess though, the only time I know it happened was when the douchey housemate let the dogs out and they went missing for half a day, then the Spanish guy somehow got the blame, even though he was in Wales when it happened.

And again, he was fun to just hang out with. He was a friend, even if a slightly weird one, and he didn't get called out on all of the usual shit housemate things - mainly because he flipped out so badly - so from his POV he only did a handful of things to upset people but generally had a laugh. If you have a warped view you're bound to do warped things.

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 20:12:35 2014 No.5356583

>>5356555
>Really, what can you do when a guy's standing there crying because you called him out on being an asshat?

Never, and I mean fucking NEVER let him live that down in my presence. immediately lose all respect for him and call him every time he "brags" to me about shit. Sucks the landlady sees him as a "wayward son," thats just a fucked situation.
Idk about you, but shit if it wasn't a blood related thing then I'd probably have fond a way to be in the land lady's graces. Gain her trust get the benefits this faggot does without being an absolute douche. From then on out you don't give the cunt an inch.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 20:31:35 2014 No.5356622 >>5346771 Because surrounding yourself in a environment with other artists and being taught hands on how to do certain techniques is super important?

Anonymous Sun Apr 13 20:54:35 2014 No.5356680

apart from laxatives and caspaicin, there is also beta-carotine or fluorescent food colouring
put it in orange juice or something of similar colour. It is absolutely safe and while it wont turn people into simpsons it will leave stains around the mouth and make them shit rainbows

Also, make a blog about the fat cheesepacabra and after a couple months, when you got some stories together, post it on his facebook

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 20:55:35 2014 No.5356682 >>5339687 Are you the office food thief that sometimes posts here?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 13 22:37:26 2014 No.5356984 >>5354397 >indifferent to the fact that your parents didn't teach you how to do simple tasks like cook or clean >basically raised you to be a useless brat and you haven't changed have fun being a shitty person

Op the fggt Sun Apr 13 23:20:25 2014 No.5357082
File: 38 KB, 756x407, 1397445658918.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My s.o. and I lived with four roommates (a couple with a 1 year old and a neckbeard).
>The girl would get upset if we made something and didn't let her kid have some
>Steal our veggies to feed their rabbit
>Demanded that we give them $50 each for meals (they never cooked)
>Let food sit on the stove/in the sink for weeks until I gave up and did them

And last but worst of all
They decided to clean out the fridge while we were gone and threw away everything that we bought THAT DAY and got upset when we gave them the receipt and said to go get exactly what they threw away.

I swear to god they were the fucking worst and the neckbeard had a hard on for the young dad so he always sided with him and his gf. To top it all off, when I would out that I was pregnant, they told us to leave.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 00:03:25 2014 No.5357162 >>5356215 >The potassium chloride one sucks because most people find it really bitter and off-tasting. On the plus side, you can use it to execute convicts.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 00:13:25 2014 No.5357177 >>5356555 Ah, the British.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 00:41:06 2014 No.5357238 >>5339883 This. Nothing stops food thieves or general shitty behaviour like a good old blanket party.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 00:42:06 2014 No.5357243 >>5357082 >demand 50 bux for meals What

Op the fggt Mon Apr 14 00:50:38 2014 No.5357259

>>5357243
They tried to add $100 to the rent because we ate a meal with them. She had a frozen dinner bag thing and asked me to cook it. I added chicken and noodles that WE bought so that it could be split between us. and that was worth $50 for each added portion according to her.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 01:14:54 2014 No.5357323 I used to steal some of my roommate's stuff like ketchup, pieces of bread, etc. He didn't seem to mind. Did I fuck up? Or is this normal roommate etiquette?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 03:16:54 2014 No.5357532 >>5356251 What the fuck was wrong with this guy? Was he literally retarded? I don't understand.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 14:34:42 2014 No.5358403 >>5352102 What you're looking for is called lead acetate or "sugar of lead." For hundreds of years it was used as a sweetener and at least one pope died from it. It's just vinegar and lead, anyone can make it.

Anonymous Mon Apr 14 14:36:42 2014 No.5358404

>>5356583
I was totally in with the landlady. Like I say she was lovely. I didn't do stupid things like my housemate did, mainly because I'm not a sociopath.

I know I could have made his life shitty, but it was clearly shitty enough without me being horrible to him. I'd hide important things from him, and get my little revenges like using all my razors on my balls so that when he stole them he was rubbing my crotch oils all over his face, but really nothing productive would have come of me me being aggressive. Or maybe I'm just too British, who knows.

>>5357532
I think he was just a bit screwed up. He was an actor, and his dad would say he was gonna come support him and see him in shows, not turn up, then when this guy rang him up say he was too busy dealing with this ongoing divorce (with some woman who wasn't the guy's mum). I'm not saying that non-traditional families produce dickheads at all, but things like that can really mess with your head. He broke up with a girlfriend he'd been with for four years too, and they'd still talk literally ten times a day. I guess stuff like that, plus the pressure of seeing all your friends and coursemates getting agents and jobs while you were being glossed over is gonna make you boil, and I just happened to see the blowout.

Got another story, but it's a biggy, so I'll put it in separate comment(s)

Anonymous Mon Apr 14 14:40:42 2014 No.5358413

>>5358404
Again not really food related; hope it's still entertaining.

>Be me
>Living with weird housemate
>Be about to leave
>Decide me, him, and another housemate should have farewell drinks
>Him and the other housemate had had a thing previously
>Mood's very weird and tentative
>Everybody knows each other knows, but they don't want to admit it, and nobody knows how much everyone else knows
>Totally weird
>Everything you say is like from that bit Inglorious Basterds in the bar where the real Nazis are trying to get the Basterds to slip up
>Drinking as though that'll stop it being weird
>Bored of this
>We should go home
>I go for a wee
>Drank 6 bottles of wine between us, plus shots
>Come back to not-a-sociopath housemate clearly holding back tears
>Leave
>Clearly-a-sociopath housemate walking 2 steps ahead of us
>Everybody's silent
>Everybody's awkward
>Booze is starting to really hit me
>She bursts into tears and half collapses on me
>My head's spinning
>He starts yelling "you always do this!"
>He doesn't mean crying, he means going to someone else for emotional support instead of him
>My memory blacks out at this point
>Only memory is kissing a homeless guy with no teeth on the way home so that he gives me some of his vodka
(cont.)

Anonymous Mon Apr 14 14:41:42 2014 No.5358416

>>5358413
>Wake up on a mattress in our kitchen
>In a dress
>Covered in henna saying "bum me", "I'm gay" and other equally witty comments
>Good housemate is COVERED in henna like pic related
>Absolutely stunning, don't know how we did it when we were that wasted
>Not-so-good housemate has some retarded dragon thing on his back in henna
>About 200 laughing gas canisters all over the floor
>While cleaning up one of the dog sicks up a baggy
>Spanish guy tries to tell our landlady what happened
>She somehow thinks he's telling her we were doing acrobatics
>She tells me "just make sure you don't pull anything!"
>Still too drunk to know what to do with that advice
>Try to return mattress to room
>It's none of our mattresses
>Who's mattress is it?
>Nobody knows
>It doesn't really matter
>Nothing really mattress

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 14:45:42 2014 No.5358425 File: 57 KB, 621x960, Henna.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5358416 Forgot the pic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 17:19:07 2014 No.5358730 File: 78 KB, 592x446, 1392769343979.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5358416 >It doesn't really matter >Nothing really mattress >mfw this was the punchline to your entire story

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 14 17:22:07 2014 No.5358733 >>5358416 Impressive.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 15 07:31:23 2014 No.5360340 >>5340762 Just label it properly "Experiment, DO NOT EAT!". Cops come in, you nsay you were conducting an experiment that you read about on the Internet and that its not your fault that your roommate was not only a thief but an idiot as well.

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