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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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5089184 No.5089184[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

ITT: we create dishes and menu descriptions for guys new restaurant

Guys signature west side swine platter:
Two Helsinki style pork rings, filibustered with black strap molasses and quartered on a bed of crumbled New Mexican sharp cheddar gator waffles, panhandled, and served curb side on a 2x4.

>> No.5089210
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5089210

Alabammin' Hammin' Diner Dashers

Southern-fried ham fingers crusted with peanuts just like Aunt Skeeter used to make and reverse-drizzled with Donkamayo (TM). Slapped on the back with sweet-and-sassy Monterey Jackalope slaw and diddled with Guy's Signature Beard Trimmin's.

$28.99

On a collectible plate featuring classic bloopers from Guy's "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives": Add $49.95

>> No.5089213

Country corn pone pussy

creamed corn thickened and heavy sugar added, then covered with lightly salted lemon polenta

then douse the entire thing in chowder soup

then guy starts impersonating the chowder guy from the simpsons when you order it

then he pulls a piece of cornbread with strawberry vanilla frosting out of his pocket and puts it on the country corn pone pussy meal

>> No.5089686

oh god tell me that box OP posted is a shoop.

>> No.5089692
File: 141 KB, 768x1024, BDceD92CEAEMPsZ.jpg large.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089692

>>5089686
It's real. There are others to. Like a "Backyard Smores Pizza"

>> No.5089696
File: 276 KB, 625x571, 1389370965734.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089696

>>5089686
sorry, it's "Smores Indoors"

>> No.5089698

wanna take a trip with me to FLAVORTOWN
IM YOUR HOST GUY FURRY AND I TAKE A HUGE BLACK DICK AND EAT QUESTIONABLE FOOD FOR FREE DESPITE MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR BEING AN ENORMOUS CUNT ON TELEVISION SO SIT DOWN AND WATCH MY CRAP BECAUSE THIS IS DINERS DRIVE-INS AND DIVES
no
i dont want to go to flavortown
WELL YOU DONT HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE BECAUSE FOOD NETWORK OWNS MY SOUL SO SIT DOWN LIKE A HORNY RICH BUSINESSMAN AT THE GENTLEMANS CLUB BECAUSE THIS IS TRIPLE D

>> No.5089701
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5089701

>>5089686
here's a picture of the egg rolls cooked, lol.

>> No.5089710
File: 57 KB, 514x307, 1389371402401.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089710

>>5089696
Picture of the "S'mores Indoors" Pizza cooked.

>> No.5089715
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5089715

>>5089710

>> No.5089717
File: 67 KB, 550x329, guy-fieri-meat1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089717

>>5089715
here have some of his meat

>> No.5089771
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5089771

>>5089701
>>5089710
>>5089717

>> No.5089779
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5089779

>>5089710
jesus christ

>> No.5089782
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5089782

>>5089184
>>5089701
>>5089710

>> No.5089787

>>5089184

Country Fried Napa Cabbage Sampler:

Two whole tenderized, bone out pork shanks, stuffed with duck confi, scallions and applebutter, wrapped in cabbage. Then dunked in beer batter and deep-fried in beef tallow, topped with fry sauce and served with Napa Valley premium Merlot-Caramel dipping sauce. Served on double-thick paper plates for that good ol' country feelin'.

>> No.5089792

>>5089184

Texas Ranch Hand's Bacon Onion Parfait:

We start with a whole loaf of rye bread and hollow it out, leaving room for our signature gourmet bacon loaded onion paste. 4 varieties of onions, coupled with over a half pound of crispy bacon strips, chives, mustard and spicy BBQ sauce. The parfait is topped with a balsamic cream reduction and blue cheese crumbles.

>> No.5089796

Alabama Incest Platter

Two slabs of pork, preferably one from a brother and one from a sister, slathered in a white cream sauce, and garnished with some ReDONKULOUS K-Y Jelly, served in a Hobo's Can with Sock Cheese. Soo Good it'll make you want to screw your sister all the way to flavortown

>> No.5089801
File: 106 KB, 450x338, snl_fieri_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089801

BBQ VIET-FUCKING-SHIT CHEESEBURGER SPRING ROLLS

We take whole chili cheeseburgers, dice them up, and wrap them in rice paper slathered in hoisin BBQ sauce. Rolled in panko bread crumbs and deep fried oil carefully harvested from Guy's scalp. Served over a plate of crispy chicken skin and drowned in funky flavortown napalm chili garlic sauce and cheese curds.

>> No.5089806

>>5089184

Guy Feiri's Hand Stuffed Moo Burger:

One half pound of ground beef chuck and one half pound of ground elk flank, stuffed with pork marrow and milk stout. If that wasn't enough flavor, we top it with iceberg lettuce, french fries, homemade garlic-chipotle aoili, jalapeno bottle caps and san marsano tomatoes. Served with a side of large curd cottage cheese and mozzarella sticks for the ultimate dairy experience!

>> No.5089817
File: 1.83 MB, 920x986, guyfieri.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5089817

More.

>> No.5089828
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5089828

>>5089817
I sure don't remember the taste of cheeseburgers as anything like those

>> No.5089840

>>5089184

Spicy Saigon Chicken Kickers:

A 100% organic chicken breast, pounded flat and drafted with tabasco, tomato paste and our secret Vietnamese seasoning. Then, it's off to the jungle with our mix of sauteed peppers blend featuring thai chili, and decorated over a bed of basmati rice and potato skins. It's so spicy you may not get out alive!

>> No.5089850
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5089850

>>5089210
>>5089213
>>5089787
>>5089792
>>5089796
>>5089801
>>5089806
>>5089840
GUY HERE! THANKS FOR THE INPUT GUYS AND I LOVE ALL THE RECIPES. LOOK FOR THEM AT MY NEW RESTAURANT AND WATCH THE TRIPLE D MARATHON TODAY FROM 1PM TO 1AM ONLY ON THE GUY FIERI FOOD NETWORK!

>> No.5089863

MEGA BBQ SOUP DUMPLINGS

THE BIGGEST SOUP DUMPLINGS YOU WILL EVER BE SERVED IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE, AMERICAN STYLE! FILLED WITH HALF A POUND OF PULLED PORK, CHOPPED FRENCH FRIES AND A PINT OF BBQ FLAVORED, DOUBLE-BACON MILK GRAVY. GRAVY JUST LIKE MOM USED TO MAKE IT. WE FRY THESE BADBOYS IN DUCK FAT TO GOLDEN BROWN AND DELICIOUS PERFECTION.


COMES WITH A CUSTOM MADE, GUY FIERI MEGA STRAW™

>> No.5089913
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5089913

>>5089863
BRING THAT TO ONE OF MY VEGA LOCATION! YOU'RE OFFICIALLY HEAD CHEF OF FLAVOR TOWN!

>> No.5089915

I'm clapping so hard at this thread.
5/5 breddy gud

>> No.5089954

>>5089184

Guy's Double-Cream Fish Load Chowder:

We take the best from both Atlantic and Pacific to make this seafood stew! Tender cuts of smoked sardines, bay scallops and farm raised salmon lighted dredged and fried in peanut oil, then stewed for 12 hours in a blend of old bay seasoning and garlic. Finished with a bottle of beer and roccota cheese, it's a treat to swallow for any occasion!

>> No.5089961

>>5089184

Vegan Chili 'Cheese' Radish Gazpacho:

You don't need to eat meat with this flavorful entree! Green beans, corn, potato skins, yams and olives all make up our signature vegan soup base, boiled with cabbage and beats. Before service, we add a whole cup of graded radish and float a barge of fried tofu in the center! It really looks like cheese!

>> No.5089972

>>5089184

Mama's Italian Penne Rigate Casserole:

Al dente pasta noodles coated in a light margarine-anchovy wine sauce with sauteed hot-house tomatoes and molasses. We layer it with strips of pepper-jack and fontina cheeses, and top the casserole with butter soaked panko bread crumbs. You'll say Mama Mai after just one bite!

>> No.5089989

>>5089184

All-American Honey Hispanic Sopapilla:

Get a taste of Tex-Mex with this authentic desert. 4 flour tortillas egg-washed and dunked in corn meal, fried in a reduction of ancho chilies and maple syrup, then toped with real clove honey and curry powder for an added spice. She comes served out of a slightly damaged take-out box and topped with powdered sugar and creme friache

>> No.5090041

>>5089184
lol I drove around for 5 hours all around my state looking for those frozen Guy Fieri products last month. Never found em either

>> No.5090045

>>5090041
Not even at a Walmart, K-Mart, or Target?

>> No.5090053

>>5090045
not around here anyway. I was bored and figured why not kill 5 hours, I was also on the hunt for the steven seagal energy drink

>> No.5090055

>>5089710
It looks like a plain chocolate pizza that's gone fucking moldy

>> No.5090266
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5090266

This thread is shit and so is your food. SHUT THE KITCHEN DOWN!

>> No.5091175

bump for more menu items

>> No.5091186
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5091186

>> No.5091189

>>5090266
Why would he wear something that light?
It would breathe well sure, but it wouldn't offer much protection.

>> No.5091194

>>5091189
Gordon doesn't afraid of anything.

>> No.5091196

>>5091189
It's called stage lights, friend.

>> No.5091216

>>5090053
aww man the steven segal energy drink has been discontinued for at least 5 years. I have two unopened cans on my toy shelf. I am ascared to drink them. Im not a tough guy ritchie.

>> No.5091230

Duck roasted in butter with cranberry and BBQ jus. Served with crushed peri peri potato and deep fried asparagus on a slab of granite.

$119.95 (for two)

>> No.5091236

>>5089184
For whom are pizza eggrolls already "old skool"?!

>> No.5091259

>>5091216
fuck, im a huge Seagal fan i wanted them for the novelty

>> No.5091266

Bombasticlious Burro AssBlast(tm)
Prime USDA approved Donkey steaks coated in Guy's Handmade Happy Batter(tm) and miniature pieces of crispy fried chicken, then deep fried. We then drench it in zesty nacho cheese sauce, toss it in a blender, and puree it with Guy's Signature Poppin' Petrol Tequila(tm). It's poured into a sombrero made out of corn chips and served with a statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe constructed out of refried beans. Ole!

>> No.5091309

GUY'S FLAVORTOWN SUPERBOWL DIP-STRAVGANZA

A FLAVORTASTIC DIP WITH LAYERS OF VELVEETA, CANNED CHILI, KRAFT SINGLES, RO-TEL PEPPERS, WASABI MAYO, AND CRUSHED UP PRINGLES WITH PANKO BATTERED PORK RINDS DUSTED WITY GUY'S SPECIAL BACON SIRACHA CRUNCH BITS FRIED IN DUCK FAT

SERVED ON A SLAB OF ASTROTURF WITH A BUCKET OF WET-WIPES

>> No.5091322

>>5089701
In OPs pic they are masterfully arranged to look like 5, not 4 :(

>> No.5091670

>>5091236
Ask not for whom the egg rolls; the egg rolls for thee.

>> No.5093807
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5093807

Guy Endorsed so you know they are good
photo related
(saved from page 10)

>> No.5094234

>>5090053
i got a few of those steven seagal drinks a couple years ago at the 99 cent store

>> No.5094286
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5094286

>>5091186
Embrace the guy.

>> No.5094310
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5094310

THE HINDENBURGER

THIS BLIMP OF A BURGER IS BRINGIN THE HEAT! TWO CORNBREAD BRIOCHE BUNS SMOTHERED WITH GUY'S DILL-ICIOUS PICKLE CRUST, PACKIN' SOME FIXINS LIKE DEEP-FRIED 100% LEATHER STRIPS CUT FROM BIKER JACKETS, OSTRITCH FAT FREEDOM FRIES (TELL ME, ARE WE IN FRANCE?), AND A GENEROUS SPLAT OF OUR SPECIAL TWINKIE COMPOTE

AND OF COURSE, THE BIG BEEF HIMSELF - A 12 OZ ANUS BURGER FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH OUR SPECIAL 5-ALARM CHIPOTLE BA-DONK-DONKEY SAUCE, PUMPED RIGHT INTO THAT MEAT VIA DR. GUY'S PATENTED, LAB-TESTED INJECTION JUNCTION MEAT SYRINGE! BITE IN AND FEEL THE FLAMES LIKE IT'S 1937!

*add a glass of Guy's "Lunchroom Laughs" certified children's tears for $5.99 (only available in some states)

>> No.5094320

The all american fiesta brat burger.

This big ole slice of Americana is a 3lb coiled bratwurst filled with our signature bang bang corn salsa, tangy chipotle ketchup, and pork rinds, or as those communists south of our great nation call them, "chicharones". Boiled up in america's most flavorful beer, bud light, and then cooked in a dirty microwave for 4 minutes to seal in that all american flavor before being placed on a halved cheddar sourdough bread loaf between a one pound slab of american cheese and half a head of iceberg lettuce, this great snack has something for everyone.

>> No.5094699

General Tso's Taco Italano

TAKE A TRIP DOWN TO FLAVOR TOWN WITH THIS ALL AMERICAN MEAL FIT FOR A KING. FIRST WE TAKE A 5 DAY OLD PIZZA COURTESY OF DOMINO'S. THEN WE FILL THAT BAD BOY UP WITH SOME OF MY SIGNATURE FRIED RICE MADE WITH HAMBURGER MEAT. THEN WE ADD SOME OF MY SPECIAL GENERAL TSO'S CHICKEN, MADE WITH SPECIAL SWEET & SOUR DONKEY SAUCE. THEN WE TOP IT OFF WITH A SPECIAL BLEND OF DUCK SAUCE AND RAGU!

>> No.5094713

STUPID DUMB OBNOXIOUS CUNT FLIP FLOP CHIP DIP

HI IT'S ME GUY HERE AND I SURE DO LOVE ME SOME CHIP DIP BUT THIS CHIP DIP IS SO GOOD YOU CAN EAT IT OFF A FLIP FLOP. I MIX IN WHALE CUM AND HORSE CUM AND MAN CUM AND THEN PUT IT IN A BOWL AND GARNISH IT WITH BULL CUM. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! MORE CUM.

INGREDIENTS: CUM

$11.99

>> No.5094716

>>5089717

He spells shit like an idiot. His twitter is the equal to any teenage retards.

>> No.5094721

>>5089184
THE CHING-CHONG BURRITO

Hong Kong-style fried rice, char siu pork loin, Chinese spinach, spicy hoisin sauce all wrapped up burrito style in a scallion pancake