[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 75 KB, 480x640, T-bone-cooked-MCB[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4906850 No.4906850[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

If you haven't gone full caveman mode you haven't lived.

> get excellent steak, season perfectly, cook to rare
> rest 5 min
> put steak on plate, no utensils
> pick steak up with hands and start eating
> lose yourself in a primordial haze of chewing, gnawing, and tearing juicy steak.
> only pause long enough to quaff from a huge mug of ale, cold if preferred, otherwise room temperature for full effect.

pure bliss.

One note, this should only be attempted by yourself, in the comfort of your own home.

>> No.4906860

>full caveman
>frying precut steak
>ale

do you even wot m8?

>> No.4906867

>>4906860
I don't live in a cave either. What's your method?

>> No.4906896

I aspire to cook a entire chicken and eat it without carving it

>> No.4906900

>>4906867
my method for what? Full middleaged?

>> No.4906907

>>4906896
I do this with rotisserie chickens. I don't ever finish the whole thing though. One day...

>> No.4906912

>>4906860
Ale is stoneage. Brewed in stone troughs, the celts often added poisonous plants to further intoxication. It was drank when it was ready because (as far as we know) there was no way to store it.

T-bone is hilariously wrong though, no one would cut through a tenderloin and trip loin, bone and all, back then.

>> No.4906921

>>4906867
I encounter a baby calf in the wild, nurture it as if it were my own child, and raise it to maturity. Then, I swiftly and efficiently break his neck, shedding a tear or two. I then build a fire using nothing but my hands and a few pieces of wood. Finding the sharpest stone I can, I cut into the cow, doing my best to scrounge up what looks like a good cut of the meat. I cry a little more as I thrust it into the fire briefly before pulling it back out, tearing the flesh with my teeth and swallowing the nearly cooked meat.

>> No.4906934

>>4906921
>>4906921
10/10 made me giggle

>> No.4906942

Sometimes I like to put a fresh watermelon in my shower and just go to town with my claws and teeth ripping it apart like a bear to a deer.

>> No.4906957

Nigga that crust is weak.

>> No.4906966

>>4906942
If you were a woman, I'd consider this extremely hot.

>> No.4906974

>>4906850

> put steak on plate

ya dun goofed

>> No.4906989 [DELETED] 

>>4906942
hahaha what the fuck, a watermelon?

>> No.4907023
File: 255 KB, 354x367, 1382471515373.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907023

>>4906989
so that it washes off and you dont get sticky you dumb goose! even i understtod that!

>> No.4907034

>>4906957

>apprentice cook is asked to sear a steak before he gets the job
>plates the meat
>kitchen staff start jumping around and hooting
>YO CRUST WEAK NIGGA
>YO CRUST WEAK

>> No.4907123

>>4907034
...Why did I lol so hard at that?

>> No.4907134

>>4906921
>no salt?
>vomit tasteless meat

>> No.4907219

Love this thread

>> No.4907242

>>4907134
So you like salt, not meat. Just accept your veganism faggot.

>> No.4907615
File: 1.08 MB, 796x592, muhcanines2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907615

I don't put my body though things it didn't evolve to do. If I happen to grow canines that are capable of ripping open the belly of a cow, sure. If I happen to have a medium length digestive system like most omnivores, sure, I'll let the entrails fall out of the stomach and I'll eat the cow raw.

But alas, my anatomy says no. I'll eat plants and plants only. Garden of Eden had it right.

>> No.4907616

>>4907615
>plants and plants only
>posts the frugivore image
???

>> No.4907617

>>4907242
>eating meat w/o salt

confirmed for never cooking meat

>> No.4907618

>>4907616

plants, seeds, fruits. My bad.

>> No.4907620

>>4907615
LOL. You're brain is rotting away with your shit diet.

>> No.4907622

>>4907620

>you're

Yep. That meat makes you Einstein, practically

>> No.4907625

>>4907615
>I don't put my body through things it didin't evolve to do.

Wow, what an odd life you must lead. The list of things humans do that our bodies haven't "evolved" to do is long and varied. You don't have a diet, you have a fucking mental condition.

>> No.4907630

>>4907622
OH GOD, NOT A TYPO!!!!

That's a poor excuse to use to justify your idiotic and ass backwards "lifestyle" choices.

>> No.4907627

>>4907615

I know this is a troll but our bodies can more easily digest meat than plants. Most of our shit is plant matter we can't digest, our body can more easily digest and absorb flesh

>> No.4907631

What's a good plating technique for a caveman? Also, do they typical prefer a cabernet or merlot with their finely trimmed beef?

>> No.4907634

>>4907630
THIS IS A CAVEMAN THREAD NOT A VEGAN THREAD.
MORE CAVEMAN LESS BITCHING.

>> No.4907637

>>4907627

sweet bro science faggot. You know nothing about the metabolic process.

Shit is made up of waste (mostly dietary fiber and water). Fucking retard.

Dietary fiber is technically a carb, but since it doesn't get metabolized, it's utility is in how it makes your digestive system feel. That's why you fucking need fiber (which meat doesn't have). It tells the body that it's full, it keeps our digestive tract healthy, and it also helps in maintaining blood glucose levels.

>> No.4907642

>>4907034
byootiful

10/10 would plate with sides

>> No.4907643

>>4907637

Plant matter we can't digest is dietary fiber . . cellulose . . and it smells because decaying bacteria

and even if the dietary fiber in my diet and in my shit somehow didn't come from plants, it sure as hell isn't in meat. Where did the meat go if shit is mostly dietary fiber? You never refuted my main point

>> No.4907646

>>4907034
10/10

>> No.4907650

>>4907643

Your body grudgingly digests it. Just like it digests plastic gel caps that cover your medication.

Meat is low nutrient/high cal food. Ever wonder why ultra athletes use pasta and bread for energy? Hell, meat isn't even the best at being high calorie.

>> No.4907653

>>4907650

Grudgingly digest, what does that even mean? That sounds pseudosciency. If it digests it digests it

Your body isn't using it for energy, that's not why we eat meat. The taste of it and the protein

>> No.4907654

>thread about meat
>faggot gets on his soapbox and makes it into a thread about vegetarian/vegan diet

>> No.4907660
File: 221 KB, 608x488, MUHMEATYUM1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907660

>>4907654

It's what flesh eaters do to every vegan thread. Consider it an opportunity to learn. You're welcome.

>> No.4907662

>>4907660
>someone shitposts in my threads, so that makes it okay for me to shitpost in other threads

>> No.4907663

>>4907660
The only thing I've learned from you is that you're a whiny, busybody faglord who can't shut up about your shitfor-brains eating habits.

>> No.4907676

Is there such thing as a food boner? Cause i just got onw. +500 internets to OP

>> No.4907684

>>4907662
That's the kind of logic you get when you starve your body of protein

>> No.4907685

>>4906850
meat shrank away from bone in hot pan, protruding bone prevented it from developing a proper sear on most of its surface. Steak is ruined.
Anon probably believes stupid old wive's tale that the bone somehow magically imparts more taste to the meat.

>> No.4907688

>>4907684

>hurr durr vegetables have no protein DAE EPIC BACON CHEESBURGER LOL XD?

>> No.4907690

>>4906850
oh my god I thought I was the only one who did this.

I ate three big ass bloody rare steaks with my bare hands once when I was home alone

It was like having an orgasm

>> No.4907702

>>4906850
>ale
>not cellar temperature

heheheh

>> No.4907704

>>4907660
You vegans are like rapists. You don't understand the word NO. Your religion has been rejected here. Learn to deal with that or leave.
You fucking rapist.

>> No.4907708

>>4907704
Vegan = rapist

That has a nice ring to it.

>> No.4907711

>>4907660
Have fun when your children are stunted/die of malnutrition.

>> No.4907712

>>4907704
>>4907708

Except you actively promote the rape of billions of land mammals (dairy cow insemination) every year.

>> No.4907713

There are no such thing as vegetarians and vegans during a crisis.

Those lifestyles are a complete luxury. It's comical.

>> No.4907714

>>4907711

my son is two and is healthy in all ranges. His learning skills are top notch as well. Vegan diets are safe for any stage of life.

>> No.4907715

>>4907714
safe until he his perpetually derided for not eating meat throughout his school life.

>> No.4907716

>>4907714
until he hangs himself because he eats a slice of bacon at 17 and realizes his whole life was a commie homo faggot kike puppet LIE

>> No.4907719

>>4907715
>>4907716

>hahaha what a faggot his son's diet was healthy and kept healthy but society will make fun of him! look how wrong the vegan is! lol what a fag!

>> No.4907721

>>4907719
>vegan
>healthy

keep telling yourself that while you eat the leafy tasteless jew.

>> No.4907724

>>4907719
But he probably will be made fun of, would you rather not spare him that? Or at least let him decide if he wants to eat meat.

>> No.4907725

>>4907724

what do you think I am? A lunatic? I'm a stranger on the internet telling people the truth about Veganism. It's the healthiest way to live, hands down. But I'm not a weirdo. I just have the sake of anon, so I can overdo it a bit.

If my son wants to meat, then he'll eat meat lol. Just like my wife does and most of my friends and family.

>> No.4907727

>>4907725

>have the sake of anon

What? I meant:

I have the benefit of anonymity.

>> No.4907729

>>4907716
>>4907721
>the day I learned that the /pol/ack army exists even on /ck/, the mildest of boards

I guess I should go see of /po/ and /an/ and /n/ have any /pol/acks too

>> No.4907731

>>4907725
>wife eats meat
>you don't

She's going to leave you for a strapping negro with a fridge full of steak

>> No.4907733

>>4907731

that's okay. It's one of my fetishes.

>> No.4907738

>>4907712
Uh oh there is that religion sticking its ugly head up again.
>Come 'round children lets all gather underneath the giant broccoli.

>> No.4907743

>>4907725

Its really not the healthiest way to live. Look at NON-BIASED research about it. Youre immune system is shit and you are more likely to to get sick by amoebas compared to a meat eater. And its kinda fucked up to force your son with a vegan diet. Let him make the choice without any of your opinions on the matter.
>Breastmilk and formula isnt vegan

>> No.4907744

>>4907743

Yeah, but's breast milk is from a human, faggot. Cow milk is the biggest lie the world has ever told

>> No.4907745
File: 947 KB, 1122x752, canadian cocks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907745

>>4907733
>cuckfag detected

>> No.4907746

>>4907744
Is drinking your own piss vegan?

>> No.4907750

>>4906912
Celts were iron age you unbelievable thick fuck

>> No.4907754

>>4907744
>doesn't drink glorious milk from a domesticated bovine

Confirmed for non-white. Drinking milk is the whitest beverage, even whiter than whiskey.

>> No.4907757

>>4907754
Never had a whiskey with milk have you?

>> No.4907756

>>4907744

A human is technically an animal. Please tell me more about how healthy it is depriving a developing child from an adequate intake of creatine, DHA, and b-12. Creatine being responsible for brain growth and function. Tell me how healthy he is when he doesnt hit puberty until he's 18 because of the low testosterone levels due to low levels of cholesterol and saturated fat. Eat a dick and break vegan faggot.

>> No.4907758

>>4907757
I've had milk and Pepsi, does that count?

>> No.4907759

>cuckold, liberal, brainwashed by kikes
>sees thread about meat, cartwheels into thread so fast that all 8 ben-wa balls are whipped out of his loosened anus
>"Reshpeckt my opinion, silly blood-mouths!" *fart* *drinks own urine*

Vegans, ladies and gentlemen.

>> No.4907760
File: 59 KB, 902x339, b12.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907760

>>4907756

educate yourself on b12, faggot.

fome eberfess

>> No.4907764

>>4907758

Yes

>> No.4907765

>>4907714
You feed your two year old son nothing but vegetables? Fucking hell, man. I get that you're "principled", but this is child abuse.

>> No.4907766
File: 494 KB, 449x209, 1361920855993.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907766

>>4907759
>cartwheels into thread so fast that all 8 ben-wa balls are whipped out of his loosened anus
top lol

>> No.4907768
File: 43 KB, 855x181, watermelon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907768

>> No.4907769

>>4907765

vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes, wheat, bread... You know. The stuff your dead flesh ate to get big before it was shot in the head.

>> No.4907770

>>4907769
My meat didn't eat bread. Or pasta, either. Not to mention that livestock animals and wild hunted animals have fairly strict diets (compared to humans) and wouldn't eat most of what you're eating, with the exception of pigs, who will eat anything at all, even YOU. You don't know shite.

>> No.4907771

>>4907769
So instead of using nature's own efficient method to turn a ton of that "stuff" into dense, compact, delicious food, you'd rather just... eat it yourself?

So evolution goes out of its way to make this big balanced system of prey and predator, gives you this efficient food-becoming machine, but you'd rather eat what the machine eats?

Smart.

>> No.4907772
File: 153 KB, 720x540, Slide1_zpsf421381c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907772

>>4907769

>actually eating our fellow mammals when it's been proven you don't need it

Vegans only piss people off because they're a walking reminder of your stupid, barbaric addiction. 10 billion land mammals are killed every year.

>> No.4907773
File: 934 KB, 400x216, tumblr_m3s1rgzFsd1qb8pdro1_400.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907773

>>4907771

vegetables kick the shit out of meat, nutritionally. Do you even read? At all?

>> No.4907777

>>4907769

Answer the question faggot. I want to prove to you that you are a shitty father and an even shittier person for tryibg to spread your bullshit propoganda to a fucking about steak.
>>4907756

>> No.4907778

>>4907773
>>4907772
>went from lies about how "healthy" a vegan diet CAN be
>resorting to gore and quotes from faggots

Oh, can't wait until he tells me my stomach is a graveyard, or that chickens have feelings!!

>> No.4907780

>>4907772

10 billion land mammals=how many meals put on the table? How many jobs? Go back to sticking tubers up your ass and sucking horse duck.

>> No.4907781

>>4907777

Nice quads. Your lack of dietary knowledge is so fucking embarrassing I'm having a hard time replying. Are you under the impression that meat is needed to grow and develop? Is this how you think?

And I'm done trolling for a moment. If this is what you think, you need to change your views on this. For your sake. If you;re ever around people who actually know what the fuck they're talking about, for God's sake listen:

YOU DO NOT NEED MEAT. AT ALL. TO GROW AND DEVELOP.

Get that lie out of your head.

>> No.4907782

>>4907773

Humans are naturally omnivores. Do you read?

>> No.4907785

>vegan fag still in the steak thred

Boy, for a bunch of skinny faggots that say they don't care for meat, you sure do love talking about it FUCKING CONSTANTLY

>> No.4907786

>>4907781

Thank you, im quite proud of those. I got them from eating steak. Ill agree meat isnt needed but the vitamins and nutrients from meat are needed. A child needs those. Vitamins arent a long term solution either.

>> No.4907788

>>4907782

But they're not. We can eat it and absorb it's nutrients, but it doesn't mean it's mean for us. For example, we can absorb vitamins and nutrients in pill form, but it doesn't mean we can survive on pills.

Our anatomy is convincing enough in and of itself. Long digestive tract. Shitty canines. No claws.

>actually thinking millions of years of evolution planned on our immense brain power to work out a way to carve up meat and cook it

>actually thinking millions of years evolution lead to a digestive system that is dependent on things we can't just eat off a tree or a plant.

>> No.4907789

>>4907788

its* nutrients

my bad

>> No.4907792

>>4907788

Lol youre an evolutionist, it all makes sense. Humans used tools and technology from the get go. Im done, youguys are too fucking snob for your own good. I just hope you get ate by a fucking bear one day. Another day will come, and i shall hunt tyat bear down and eat him.

>> No.4907795

>pure bliss.

we facebook now

>> No.4907807
File: 39 KB, 555x448, 1351734556342.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4907807

>>4906850
>rare t-bone
>delicious fat not even slightly melted
>mfw op is clearly a fag

>> No.4907876

>>4907772
>muh logcabin

When will you colonials stop?

>> No.4907902

>>4906850
I did that last night with a porterhouse and an entire bottle of wine. Shit was dope, even if I did end up puking this morning.

>> No.4907910

>>4907637
>implying shit isn't filled with dead blood cells

>> No.4908086

>>4906850
>my dream meal

>> No.4908095

>>4906850
I like to eat bone-in porkchops barehanded like that. It's the best.

>> No.4908418

>>4907750
Oh were they now? You've clearly never heard of the Hallstatt period. Look it up (hint: starts in 1200BCE).

>> No.4908433

>>4907773
>vegetables kick the shit out of meat, nutritionally.
Define 'nutritionally' in this context please.

>>4907788
>But they're not.
The hell we aren't. We're omnivores. Get used to the idea 'cause the fact ain't changing.

You'd know this is true already if you believed conventional scientific analysis of our biology and evolutionary history and archaeological data in support, instead of some fringe pseudo-intellectual nonsense that masquerades as legitimate science.

>> No.4908443

>>4907660
Because almost every vegan thread starts off with some sort of slight against meat-eaters. You've been doing it for so long that the culture has become biased against you and people automatically associate veganism with faggotry.

Your only option is to leave /ck/.

>> No.4908465

vegans mass murder innocent plants that can't even speak or defend themselves from humans

fucking vegan assholes, murderous pigs

>> No.4908511
File: 8 KB, 157x153, 1278178117213.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4908511

>>4906850
>One note, this should only be attempted by yourself, in the comfort of your own home.

God dammit OP why didn't you say that first?

I'm getting strange looks from everyone now