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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4629100 No.4629100[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

ITT: food tips your parents gave you

From my mom:
-"Don't serve pasta when you're having short people over for dinner. Short people usually don't like noodles."
-"Never buy an extra freezer. You're only going to store crap you're never going to eat."
-"Feed your children meat from a young age or else they're going to turn out meek and physically frail. Like your cousins."
-"Food allergies are like depression. Doesn't exist. You're just looking for stuff to complain."
-"Don't worry about Botox. Just eat a lot of cartilage for collagen."

From my dad:
-"Never marry a woman who thinks serving leftovers is okay."
-"Scout out orientation meetings if you're short on grocery money. They usually have food and don't check for ID. If you bring plastic baggies to put over your hand you can scoop up a bunch of food, flip the bag inside out to seal it, and stow it away to eat later. You do have to sit through some useless presentation but you kids have iPods now, right?"
-"A good rule of thumb to distinguish healthy foods from bad: if your shit smells fucking horrible, it's bad for you."

>> No.4629141

>>4629100

All except the first two (lolwut?) I really like your parents.

My parents can't cook for shit. My grandma is a great cook, and so aim I. I think it skipped a generation or something.

>> No.4629148

>>4629141
Same. My grandparents could fucking cook. My mom and aunts can't. The just brown hamburger meat, add a packet of some sort of seasoning or gravy mix and put it over noodles. I can cook, my sister can't. Not sure if my cousins are /ck/oocks yet, I'm the oldest and their still in highschool. I have hope for them though.

>> No.4629157

>>4629100
You parents are wrong about everything, apart from orientation meetings.

>> No.4629197

>"Never marry a woman who thinks serving leftovers is okay."
Decadent, wasteful materialist whore!
Your parents sound like twats. I can agree with them on most points, but they sound like the sort of people that never preserve or store food and simply throw out whatever they don't currently need. And I'd like to see your mother deal with anaphalaxis and depression.
And yes I did just call your father a whore. What are you gonna do about it?

>> No.4629199

>>4629100
>Don't serve pasta when you're having short people over for dinner. Short people usually don't like noodles.


my wut
all my wut

>> No.4629203

>>4629100

I feel like you could end anything my parents ever told me with you line "Like your cousins."

Jokes on them, I'm 24 working for minimum wage with zero aspirations.

Thought it could be worse, I could be neet like /ck/.

...maybe the jokes on me.

>> No.4629209

My mom and dad were pros, the best tip, if cooking for a girlfriend, don't fuck up, but if you do, make some comedy out of it.

>> No.4629227

When frying eggs, continually spoon the hot oil onto the top of the eggs so they cook evenly.
-mum

>> No.4629236

>>4629197
They're big on thrift, actually. They just don't believe in buying more than you need.

"Sometimes saving money isn't really saving money."

>I'd like to see your mother deal with anaphalaxis and depression
I have some serious food allergies and went through a pretty serious bout of depression when I was a teenager, it got to a point where the school intervened. You can't tell that woman anything though, bless her heart. "Depression is a just the boredom of someone who isn't hungry. If you're busy surviving you don't have time to be depressed."

>> No.4629240

Actively THINK when you cook. There are no bad cooks, just careless ones. -mom

>> No.4629246

>>4629203
I hate to break it to you but we're the least NEET board on 4chan. Ever check /ck/ during major holidays? Slow as fuck. Meanwhile, on /a/...

>> No.4629249

>>4629100
>food allergies are like depression, it doesn't exist.
Yeah, no. I have severe allergies with seafood that after eating one piece of shrimp, my face ballooned up and my windpipe got so swollen I couldn't breathe. Luckily I was rushed to the ER on time.

>> No.4629272

>>4629236
So what do they do with leftovers then? Or do they just cook small dinners and those that are still hungry have snacks/fucking deal with it?
Is your dad at least cool with having day-old soup or stew on cold winter nights?

>> No.4629280

>>4629199
Its true though. All my short friends hate noodles. Idk why.

>> No.4629284

>>4629272
They cook just enough for that meal. No snacks, because "It's normal to feel hungry all day. Do you think your ancestors sat around feeling full all day? You eat enough to turn the 'hunger' signal off."

No leftovers, ever. Because a woman who loves you will cook a fresh dinner for you, or something. On the rare occasions they have food leftover my mom has it for lunch the next day.

>> No.4629290

>-"Never buy an extra freezer. You're only going to store crap you're never going to eat."

your parents are retarded

>> No.4629301

Mom: Don't eat pepper before bed, it will give you nightmares.

>> No.4629314

>>4629100
Your parents are fucking retards OP

>> No.4629323

>"Never buy an extra freezer. You're only going to store crap you're never going to eat."
>"Feed your children meat from a young age or else they're going to turn out meek and physically frail. Like your cousins."
>"Never marry a woman who thinks serving leftovers is okay."
>"Scout out orientation meetings if you're short on grocery money. They usually have food and don't check for ID. If you bring plastic baggies to put over your hand you can scoop up a bunch of food, flip the bag inside out to seal it, and stow it away to eat later. You do have to sit through some useless presentation but you kids have iPods now, right?"
>"A good rule of thumb to distinguish healthy foods from bad: if your shit smells fucking horrible, it's bad for you."

These are all true. Your parents seem pretty smart, especially your Dad. My mom bought an extra freezer shortly after I was born, and now that my younger sister is off to college she's on a campaign to get all of the shit out of there (obviously there's been turnover, but still).

People who don't eat meat are the worst kind of faggot, and /ck/ provides ample proof of that daily.

>> No.4629341

>>4629280
I've been giving the noodle comment some thought. I don't have many short friends but the ones I do don't seem to like noodles. Hmm.

>> No.4629350

best
parents
ever

>> No.4629355

Asians love noodles though

>> No.4629357

>>4629284
Yeah, they sound alright then.

>> No.4629363

>>4629100
>-"Don't serve pasta when you're having short people over for dinner. Short people usually don't like noodles."

lold

>> No.4629368

>>4629355
Maybe shorter Asians don't like noodles as much as taller Asians.

>> No.4629403

I'm short and i like noodles... also what's wrong with eating leftovers? You save money and time

>> No.4629406

>>4629403
The keyword is 'serving' leftovers.

I never serve leftovers, but rather eat them as a quick lunch or snack.

>> No.4629408

>>4629246

Slow as fuck, yeah, but the only thread being bumped is a mcdonalds breakfast thread with 1 sage to every 7 posts.

>> No.4629422

>>4629100
Your parents sound pretty ignorant.

>> No.4629423

>>4629280
>>4629341

>>4629199 here. I'm short (5"1') and I goddamn love noodles. Also, what about Asians?

>> No.4629433

>>4629199
I am short and hate noodles....

>> No.4629434

>>4629406
Right, but who the fuck anywhere ever has "served" leftovers to guests as a proper dinner? Leftovers are always for you and friends/family in casual situations.

>> No.4629436

>>4629423
Asians like rice universally, if anything.

>> No.4629439

To all these faggots commenting on having an extra freezer, you obviously don't hunt.

>> No.4629446
File: 38 KB, 400x400, shut-up-and-fish-hat-14701352.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4629446

>>4629439

>> No.4629449

>>4629436
Asians like being ladyboys. At least the ones who know their place in the world.

>> No.4629457

>>4629423
>usually don't like noodles
>usually

>> No.4629460

>>4629446
>fishing

I don't understand how people can enjoy fishing. It's just so boring, no adrenaline man. No sense of accomplishment.

>> No.4629468

>>4629460
That's why when you catch the fish you put lighter fluid on them and burn them.

>> No.4629473

>>4629460
It's like golf: just another excuse to get drunk, except it's free and you can get a tasty meal out of it.

>> No.4629476

>>4629460
You have obviously never fished before.

And no, catching sunfish and tiny perch when you were 8 doesn't count.

>> No.4629480

>>4629460
fishing is the deadliest sport on record
if you're an avid fisherman and manage to live to a ripe old age before drunkenly falling overboard and drowning, you have that to feel accomplished for
though I think that's a bit of a mythical statistic, I'm guessing they're including commercial fishing vessel deaths

>> No.4629486

>>4629460

any tips for planning out a fishing trip?

want to get one together a week or so before PAX

>> No.4629491

>>4629473
>golf
Yet again, boredom. I want to get drunk I'll get drunk, golf and fishing be damned.

>>4629476
Sorry, it's always been excruciatingly boring for me. I've never been able to take joy from it, I'd rather go hunting or hiking.

>>4629480
Plenty of idiot hicks have gotten drunk and fallen off the local dam and drowned, doesn't make it a terribly dangerous sport, just means fucking morons gonna be morons.

>> No.4629495

>>4629491
>not realizing when something is tongue-in-cheek

>> No.4629498

>>4629495
Its tongue-AND-cheek you fucking patsy

>> No.4629503

>>4629498
okay

>> No.4629508

>>4629498
Actually, no. It isn't.

>> No.4629509

>>4629498
You're wrong, you fucking inbred.
Tongue-in-cheek.

Deal with it faggot.

>> No.4629511

>>4629509
>you fucking inbred
Inbred what?

>Deal with it faggot.
Comma?

>> No.4629516

>>4629511
Trying to disguise yourself as the grammar police won't save you.

>> No.4629522

>>4629511
But seriously, let's nip this in the bud.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue-in-cheek

>> No.4629525

>>4629522
maybe he was being tongue-in-cheek when claiming it's tongue-AND-cheek

>> No.4629533
File: 113 KB, 375x452, 1347740160265.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4629533

>>4629525
that cheeky bastard

>> No.4629612

>>4629290
No it is true. At least in my case. I store all the shit that I intend on eating. Then I buy groceries and start the cycle anew. I have some dumplings from like a year or two ago. It is crazy.

>> No.4629669

>>4629284

...but leftovers are awesome

>> No.4629680

>>4629100
are you Asian?

>> No.4629691
File: 13 KB, 127x211, 1337041284925.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4629691

>>4629246
Hey don't make fun of us. Some of us are still active on holidays with our family.

>> No.4629787

>>4629236
Say what you will, that is partially true.

Did the fuckers building the trans-continental railroad take a day off because they were feeling blue? I've had bouts of depression in my life, but dealt with it without any medication.

Part of it might be that all the people with problems are living when they would have died from something as a child back in the 19th century

>> No.4629795

>>4629227
jesus how much oil are you using to fry your eggs that you have enough to literally spoon on top of your egg.

>> No.4629801

>>4629795
I love doing eggs that way. It doesn't take all that much, since eggs don't absorb it. Couple tablespoons if I'm doing that. Use some of the oil for your toast instead of butter and there's not much wasted.

>> No.4629805

>>4629795
I've seen my dad do it, but only when there was a decent amount of bacon grease in the pan.

Though, he has taken to making his bacon on a baking sheet in the oven nowadays.

>> No.4629807
File: 26 KB, 461x261, japan-idea-of-america[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4629807

>>4629801
That's incredibly american of you. I don't think I could ever cook egg in so much oil

>> No.4629845

>>4629807
Actually, I learned about basting eggs from an Italian.

>> No.4629858

>>4629845
I'm not sure if that verifies the claim any more, though.

>> No.4629895

>>4629100
>Feed your children meat from a young age or else they're going to turn out meek and physically frail.
This is true unless you are ridiculously dedicated to making your kid not look frail. Babies die because their vegan mother's breast milk does not have the nutrients they require. This is a reality Vegans try to deny because they think it is seriously healthy, never mind a reliance on supplements for B12 and the necessity to eat beans and rice daily for protein.

>> No.4629922
File: 117 KB, 352x259, 1269809783020.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4629922

>>4629895

Are you OP's mom or are you OP's dad?

>> No.4629930

>>4629895

Source?

>> No.4629942

>>4629100
Your mom doesn't know how meat, depression, allergies or botox works.
And your dad is weirdly wiling to steal food for someone who won't eat leftovers (beggars, choosers ect).

>> No.4630215

>>4629930
There has been quite a few news stories about this.

Plus more baby deaths over parents only feeding their child soy formula.
http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/baby-breastfed-by-vegan-mother-dies/
Here's the most recent one I read

But really if you look up vegan baby deaths you'll find a ton of soy related, breast feeding related, malnourishment stories.

>> No.4630237

>>4630215
Your story doesn't go into any detail. Further research shows she died of Pneumonia and her parents refused to take her to the hospital and tried to treat her with their own concoctions.

>> No.4630267

>>4629100
Your mom sounds like an asshole.

>> No.4630286

>>4629100
I'm glad I have good parents who actually know basic facts.

>> No.4630325

>>4629100
OP, i really appreciate your parents' folk wisdom.

thank you

>> No.4630327
File: 136 KB, 399x300, 1372945484938.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4630327

>>4629100
>Noodles = pasta
>Depression = not real

your mother went full retard son. Full retard.

>> No.4630637

My Dad's the only one that really cooks.
He taught me that putting half a teaspoon of bicarb in your water when cooking frozen peas soften them up and makes them way more palatable.
He taught me that letting kids be fussy and make demands when it comes to food leads to shitty kids, and later, shitty people.
He also taught me to experiment with cheeses when making macaroni cheese, brie and dolcelatte are God tier.

>> No.4630656

I think your parents are idiots sorry

>> No.4630658

>>4629787
If you can deal with it, it isn't really depression.

And yes, this isn't some new phenomenon. Fucking -Achilles- had depression.

>> No.4630660

>>4629227
My dad taught me this

>> No.4630665

>>4629858
Not intended to verify any "claim". I can't even think of any claim that you'd be referring to. All I pointed out was that it's not a typical American thing to do, and categorizing it as such is silly.

>> No.4630683

>>4629807
>>4629807
it's not american at all.
i do this too, fry an egg in lots of olive oil. it's delicious, you get crispy edges.
it is known as a "spanish fried egg" because that's how the spanish do it.

>> No.4630691

>>4630327

b-b-b-but you never go FULL retard . . .

>> No.4630692

>>4629100
>eat all your food anon!
>Eat these leftoveres, I don't eat leftovers
>finish off this cake
>Don't eat too much sugar
>drink at least a liter of water a day


And yet I'm a fatass.

>> No.4630696

White/Americans dont know delicious food when they see it.
American ingredients here are tasteless and are shit compared to China.

>> No.4630716

My dad told me once that if you beat your cooking pan on the counter and there's any dents, it's useless. I'm not sure why he even told me this because he doesn't cook.

>>4630696
cute off-topic trollpost

>> No.4630717

Best piece of advice I ever got from my family was my grandmother, who says that cooking something low and slow can turn even the toughest cut of meat into tender goodness.

>>4630692
>eat all your food anon!
>Eat these leftoveres, I don't eat leftovers
>finish off this cake
>Don't eat too much sugar
All those mixed messages, you must be one screwed up dude.

>> No.4630718

mom: eat your crust, that's where all the vitamins are
didn't take long to realize it was bullshit when she would always cut the crust off for my spoiled shithead younger brother. After that I ripped them off and fed it to the dog. I eat the crust now

>> No.4630719

>>4629323
Yes, but I don't really agree with
>"Never marry a woman who thinks serving leftovers is okay."
because who the fuck likes to cook every single day for a family? Especially if anyone is a picky faggot.

>> No.4630725

>2013
>letting a woman cook

Men are the best chefs, apparently your dad is fine with eating crap.

>> No.4630745

>>4629480
>I'm guessing they're including commercial fishing vessel deaths
The danger of fishing is pretty much all commercial fishing boats. Commercial mass fishing is dangerous, you fall overboard into icy water and there's pretty good odds you'll die.
Fishing with Jimbo on the lake is far less hazardous.

>> No.4630752

>pineapple doesn't go with burgers
>chicken on pizza? Are you having a laugh?

>> No.4630786

>>4630658
Fucking -Achilles- never existed.

>> No.4630795

>>4630719
Don't have to cook, just not serve leftovers.

>> No.4630807
File: 115 KB, 1280x720, 1324026725390.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4630807

OP your parents sound like idiots

>short people dont like pasta
all of my what. height and food prefrence have no correlation. my sister is short as hell, like 4'11 (and an adult) and she practically lives on pasta

>never buy an extra freezer
thats a load of shit too. the smartest thing is to go to places like costco and buy meat in bulk for cheap. Store it in an extra freezer so you will actually have room. then thaw/use it instead of having to go to the story every other day when you want meat. refridgerator freezers are good for veggies, ice cream, and alcohol.

Im not even gonna touch the cousin one because she sounds like a bitch with family issues

>food allergies are like depression, dont exist.
yea, gonna have to call bullshit on that one buddy. I'm a paramedic. When i roll up on a call for a kid about to die of anaphylactic shock from eating a peanut butter cookie, telling him he's faking isnt going to work. Although there are alot of people out there who claim to have depression and just need to man up, it is a serious and entirely real thing.

>dont worry about botox
-your mother confirmed for dumb cunt if worried about such things

you're dad also sounds like a fucking idiot.
waaah leftovers are terrible
steal food!
if your poo smells bad it means you ate something unhealthy


Seriously, your parents sounds like incredibly shitty people. So much that i actually wasted a few minutes of my life writing this out hoping that you will realize that your parents and their advice are shit.

>> No.4630819

>>4630795
So it's fine if you have leftovers as long as she doesn't reheat them for you? Okay.

>> No.4630845

>>4630819

Would that not still be considered "serving leftovers" ?

>> No.4630865

>>4630845
>Would leaving you to get it yourself still be considered "serving" it?

The definiton of "serve" in relation to food
>a. To prepare and offer (food, for example): serve tea.
>b. To place food before (someone); wait on: served the guests a wonderful dinner.

>> No.4630867

I'm shocked more of you don't have lolwut tips from old people. They're hilarious.

my dad: Think about sour things if you're thirsty but don't have access to water.

>> No.4630877

>>4630867
that one actually makes sense. When you think about sour things you can sort of feel the sensation in your mouth and you begin to salivate more.

>> No.4630881

>>4630807
you are an idiot for typing that shit out. but i do kinda agree with what OP said, sorry your parents are the opposite of his though

>> No.4630914

>"If it doesn't taste right, don't eat it."

Seems like obvious advice but so many people will eat something because they bought it and then get food poisoning

>> No.4630992

>>4630865

So presenting someone with cold leftovers would still be serving leftovers

>> No.4631013

>>4629423
You guys are more like aliens than people, really.

>> No.4631061
File: 482 KB, 821x1260, mysidesareblastingoffforthelasttime.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4631061

>>4629100
>"Scout out orientation meetings if you're short on grocery money. They usually have food and don't check for ID. If you bring plastic baggies to put over your hand you can scoop up a bunch of food, flip the bag inside out to seal it, and stow it away to eat later. You do have to sit through some useless presentation but you kids have iPods now, right?"

>> No.4631064

Here's one my mom definitely drilled in me:

"When shopping at a grocery store and looking for a box/bottle/package of anything, never take the first one (that is, the one in the front). People will take the first one, read the information, drop the package on the floor, do all sorts of stuff to it, and put it back on the shelf when they decide they don't want it. Pick the second or third one instead."

>> No.4631084

>>4631064
My mom told me to take the second or third one also, but never said why. I imagined some people using needles to inject poison in the first ones

>> No.4631096

>>4631084
>>4631064
allways pick the packages grom behind
they have the longest expiring date

>> No.4631104

When I was a kid I once put parmigiano on pasta with some kind of fish sauce. She slapped me and I never did it again.

Having an Italian mom has taught me a lot.

>> No.4631107

>>4631096
>>4631084
>>4631064
But if everyone, or a majority of the people share this mentality, wouldn't the middle and back packages be the worse ones to pick?

>> No.4631111

>>4631107
most people just pick the front package and continue shopping
imagine you do this to every package, it would take forever to buy stuff

>> No.4631112

>>4631107

Not as long as the one in the front stays in the front.

>> No.4631117

>>4629423
Are you me? Exact same height, and I can't think of a noodle I don't like.

>> No.4631124

>>4629486
I've only gone fishing once in my life, about twenty five years ago.

I was three. Dad had a friend who actually fished regularly, so we went with him one weekend. Dad and his friend were using worms. I was adamant about using hot dogs, I have no idea why now but I can only assume my little kid brain was like "I FUCKING LOVE HOT DOGS, FISH WILL TOO".

I ended up catching a fish so big it took both Dad and his friend to reel it in.

>> No.4631128

don't be affraid of expired food as long it doesn't smell and/or tastes bad you can still eat it

>> No.4631132

>>4631124
Man that is like the cutest story ever,

>> No.4631135
File: 97 KB, 720x540, gar 002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4631135

>>4629460
you should try bowfishing

>> No.4631142

OP here. More pearls of wisdom from my parents:

my mom:
-"Find a man who likes leftovers or one that makes enough money to eat out every night."
-"A good sauce covers most mistakes."
-"You're just not trying hard enough if you're lactose intolerant."
-"Don't give people homemade food as Christmas presents. As a matter of fact, don't give people homemade gifts period unless you're Martha Stewart."
-"You can't trust the dishwasher."

my dad:
-"You can guess what the kid will be like by the food a pregnant woman craves. I knew the second your mom started asking for lobster that your brother was going to turn out to be a little douche."
-"If you want to succeed in the food business, just start deep-frying everything. One of them is bound to be a national hit."
-"Ever notice how most Asian food is soft and liquid-based? I think maybe Asian teeth are different."

my dad on teeth general:
"Braces are an awful idea. Used to be you could tell a crazy man apart from the rest by looking at his teeth. Crazy people have crazy teeth, remember that."

>> No.4631147

>>4631142
>dat everything
god its so fucking great

>> No.4631159

>>4630786

I suppose you think Atlas didn't exist either. Hint: He did. Was a real mortal person. The father of astronomy, where the actual science of it was separated from astrology.

>>4630637
>He taught me that letting kids be fussy and make demands when it comes to food leads to shitty kids, and later, shitty people.

This. Ignoring real food allergies (such as peanuts and shellfish) I think this is what OP's mom was really getting at.

Kinda in the same category as the cure for childhood autism/ADHD is a good spanking.


>>4630237

Google 'vegan baby prison'

Go ahead. Do it.

>> No.4631166

>>4629100

Your mother is overweight and ignoring her diabetes right?

>> No.4631169

>>4630215
seriously, why would you cite some shitty blog that cites an article that was intentionally deleted by the original poster? why would you not use an actual news source?

>> No.4631175

>>4631166
She's 5'7 and weighs like 100lbs. No beetus AFAIK.

>> No.4631178

This thread makes me very happy that my parents are educated and successful.

>> No.4631179

>>4631175
Anorexic?

>> No.4631205

>>4631179
Nah. She eats a lot. She's always moving though so the weight just never sticks.

>>4631178
>yfw my dad has a doctorate in hematopathology

>> No.4631217

>>4631205
Yet he married a retard.

>> No.4631225

>>4631142
Are your parents still married or does your dad just not like your brother?
Either way your parents are a well of information. Although I don't think the well is good enough to drink from.

>> No.4631251

>>4631225
Happily married for more than 30 years. My dad and brother have a good relationship. Both of my parents just tend to say abrasive things because that's how they get their jollies. When the brother and I were really young they pretended my mom was pregnant and told us that they were going to get rid of one of us to make room for the new baby but that they'd be monitoring us and deciding over the next few months. This went on for 2 months.

>>4631217
She's a wonderful lady. :)

Saging because interview questions.