/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4560200]

story time?
story time

>looking through cheese aisle at grocery store
>older man walks up to me
>"haha, another cheese lover I see"
>grabs generic processed cheese and walks away

[Anonymous No.4560209]

>>4560200

That dude was alpha as fuck

[Anonymous No.4560225]

>>4560200
>See OP's image
>Suddenly want to fap
What has the internet done to me?

[Gril who Lifts No.4560234]

Lold

[Anonymous No.4560239]

>>4560200
You should have given him the D

[Anonymous No.4560767]

>>4560209
Did that fucker ever make more than 2 chapters?
I haven't checked up on that story in a year

[Anonymous No.4560789]

>>4560225
B-but it isn't even lewd!

[Anonymous No.4561577]

>>4560225
I think it's just now any type of artstyle like that now triggers the following combo: -> anime -> lewd -> hentai -> gotta fap

[Anonymous No.4561582]

Redneck grandma with short hair, oversize t-shirt, and big floppy titties. Her granddaughter (?) comes up to her holding an energy drink, and she tells her to put it back. She turns to another woman and says, "Those things are so bad for you."

We were in the line that also did tobacco sales. She bought a carton of Marlboros.

[Anonymous No.4561606]

>>4560200
He's obviously got good taste. I I love generic yellow paste cheese. Granted, I also love a good triple cream brie. Actually I just love cheese in general.

[Anonymous No.4561607]

>work at gas station
>Woman and her little sun walk in
>Sun is adorable as the sun is hot
>"Mom, can I have a cookie pleeeease?"
>"No, you don't need any sugar today. It'll rot your teeth, you'll crash this evening, and you'll just want another cookie later."
>Mom proceeds to buy two packs of cigarettes and another 10 dollars in scratch lotto tickets
>mfw we have a basket of huge homemade oatmeal cookies on the counter for 50 cents a pop and she decides to drop ~$20 on smokes and lotto while lecturing her kid on the dangers of sugar.

[Anonymous No.4561612]

>>4561607
>mfw I realize I spelled "Son" as "Sun" not once but twice

[Anonymous No.4561617]

>>4561607
Were..... were they the chewy kind?

[Anonymous No.4561624]

>>4561617
The store manager is this sweet old lady, she makes a couple batches on sundays and brings them into the store on monday morning. They are kind chewy, but have nice snap to them around the edges.

[Anonymous No.4563545]

>be in middle school
>taking a cooking club (it was a competition thing of three teams all cooking against each other)
>we all have to make these cheesy things that I can't remember exactly
>I was on a team with a shitload of grubby 6th graders with the grubbiness hands I've ever seen
>one kid even picked his nose and stuffed his hand in the batter
>ohdearlord.jpg
>so we finally put the cheesy whatevers in the oven
>they all unanimously decide to put a pile of cheese on the sheet so that it melts so that they can put it on the cheesy whatevers as a bonus to win
>calmly explain that the cheese will burn because the cookie sheet is going in for 15 minutes
>"OH YEAH WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST THE WEIRD CUNT IN THE CLASS WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU"
>they proceed to burn me by slapping my hand on the stove
>anger boils within me with the heat of a thousand suns
>15 minutes later I'm forced to eat that disgusting shit
>my fucking face when I got the flu the day after and I missed a week of school, and I came back the day I had the club again, so the process basically fucking repeated

[Anonymous No.4563547]

>high school years
>have vegetarian girlfriend
>most amazing body ever
>shitty in the kitchen so that probably explains it
>her deaf brother asked her to make him bacon
>she put the pack of bacon in the microwave and almost started a fire

[Anonymous No.4563569]

>>4563545
You sound like you weren't very popular in middle school.

[Anonymous No.4563589]

>>4561582
To be fair, they are bad for you.

[Anonymous No.4563596]

Does anyone have sauce for that hentai?

[Anonymous No.4563616]

In the liquor store, checking out some balling whiskey deciding what i should try. Local homeless drunk is also in the store spending the money he begged for on a single can of beer.

I decide on jim bean, he gets a can of lakeport i think. We're both standing in line, he sees i have Jim Bean and shouts that the bottle i'm holding costs a hundred dollars in store. I smile and nod my head at him.

He proceeds by asking me if i've ever had lake port and waves his can in my face. I say no. He acts surprised and says he has 6 a day.

We walk out together and i find out his name is Joe.

Now when i walk home from work and he asks me for money, i say " sorry Joe i got no change" instead of "sorry i got no change"

[Anonymous No.4563634]

>>4563616
Christ, at least he didn't get your name. That way whenever you don't give him money, he'd say "fuck you, anon" instead of "fuck you".

[Anonymous No.4563672]

>>4563616
>Jim Beam
>$100
whaaaat

[Anonymous No.4563725]

oh god that's hilarious

[Anonymous No.4563742]

>live in Louisiana
>at grocery store looking at shit
>meat section is behind me with shrimp on sale
>old black guy walks up, starts saying "jibba dabba doo dad dibba SWIMPS deh ah boy? EH HEH HEH" and looks at me with a smile like I'm supposed to answer whatever question he just asked me
>answer "Yeah, well, you know"
>guy starts back up with "doo dat didda big ol' DUMBA DAD gumbo yessah dumba dad gumba widda swimps in dere feed ya REAL GOOD"
>"Well you gotta do what you gotta do"
>comes back with "heh heh heh, yaw didda down da bayou yahear? Where y'at!" and walks away

I fucking hate when people randomly try to talk to me at the store. I'm just picking up some food, this ain't a community event

[Anonymous No.4563745]

>>4561607

>mother destroys own body
>at least has the consideration not destroy her child's body too
>better judge her for not being indiscriminately irresponsible

what the fuck is your problem

[Anonymous No.4563749]

>>4563745
>actions don't speak louder than words
>hypocrisy is a good thing guise

[Anonymous No.4563751]

>Work in a grocery store
>Sometimes mix 2 or 3 tomatoes in with the apples and vice versa
>Only once has somebody actually noticed in checkout
>My face when

[Anonymous No.4563753]

>>4563742
>your answers
my sides

[Anonymous No.4563759]

>be 19 with fake ID
>gather up drink orders for large party
>spend $200 at liquor store at 9PM on a Friday
>too busy moving shitloads of liquor for indians at counter to notice my fake or care

>return a week later for $10 bottle of vodka
>it's a slow tuesday afternoon
>indian has all day to stare at my ID
>its fucking fraying at the edges, my name is misspelled, height/weight/eyes/hair are completely wrong
>requests second ID
>I give him a gym card with a clear discrepancy of name and address
>long pause
>obviously remembers me from $200 purchase last week
>says "okay I'll permit it this time, but have a proper second ID next time"
>resell vodka bottle for $25
>never return even after turning 21

[Anonymous No.4563760]

I was buying tea one day and some older woman pinched my butt and ran around the corner.

I've been clinically depressed since.

[Anonymous No.4563781]

>out with gf
>restaurant isn't too busy so we get seated in an area with pretty much nobody around
>suddenly a party of 5 gets seated right next to us
>3 kids, all annoying as shit and won't shut the fuck up
>ask them politely to please be quiet, they stop for maybe 30 seconds
>think maybe they'll calm down after they get their food
>nope, they're even louder
>ask them again to be quiet
>again they stop for 30 seconds then go back to being loud
>tell gf to start the car and wait outside
>flip my shit, pic related happens
>the dad gets in my face, I trip him and he falls on top of his kids
>got the fuck out of there before shit escalated even further
>can never go back

LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN KIDS AT HOME IF THEY CAN'T BEHAVE. FUCK IT.

[Anonymous No.4563790]

>Cooking golabki
>Picks the cabbage, fries the onions etc.
>Start mixing the meat with the spices
>There's no rice.

[Anonymous No.4563797]

>>4563742
This happened to me the other day & he was an old black man too. I don't care about whatever the fuck you're talking about, I just wanna get my groceries and go back to being comfy.

[Anonymous No.4563800]

>>4563790
>start making a fish pie
>fry the vegs
>prepare the lemon sauce
>There's no fish

[Anonymous No.4563808]

>>4563742
>>4563797
I hate this so much. Old ladies ALWAYS talk to me whenever I get within 10 feet of them.

[Anonymous No.4563879]

>>4563749
I feel bad but this is hilarious, who is that guy?

[Anonymous No.4563904]

>>4563742
>"Yeah, well, you know"
>"Well you gotta do what you gotta do"

my fucking sides
i always say this too when i have no idea what the other person is saying

[Anonymous No.4563907]

>cashier at HellMart
>enormous woman comes through my line with 300+ dollars worth of "food" (snack cakes, endless supply of 2 liter sodas, frozen french fries, ect.)
>not one veggie or fruit unless you count the fries
>paying with foodstamps, of course
>chubby preteen daughter comes up to her with package of strawberries
>Mammoth: "Wait how much are them things?"
>Child: "Uh, 3something.."
>Mammoth: "Put em the hell back and grab you somethin cheap!"
>Child: "Okay :( "
>comes back with family sized bag of Doritos
>Mammoth saves a whole dollar
>weep for the future

>mfw my taxes feed this warthog

[Anonymous No.4563908]

>>4563879
Isn't that Prince Charles?

[Anonymous No.4563916]

>making hummus
>blended chickpeas with spices and seasoned
>no fucking tahini

[Anonymous No.4563920]

>>4563907
>ect

son, youse a nigga

[Anonymous No.4563923]

>>4563920
Was I supposed to list everything I remember the behemoth buying?

[Anonymous No.4563928]

>>4563923
no but you were supposed to spell 'etc' properly. This is 4chan, kid. Put some effort in.

[Anonymous No.4563931]

>>4563749
Is that Putin?

[Anonymous No.4563933]

>>4563742
>not taking his advice and getting fed REAL GOOD on some shrimp gumbo

[Anonymous No.4563941]

>>4563928
Oh fuck, I didn't even notice that I goofed on the spelling. My bad.

[Anonymous No.4563956]

>>4563931
No, it's Prince Charles. How the fuck could you think that's Putin?

[Anonymous No.4563975]

>>4561582
>>4561607
Tobacco and Lottery tickets get vice taxes that go directly towards the school system. Old people destroying their lives for the sake of the young? Sounds good to me.

Anywho.
>At macdonalds with aunt and her daughters.
>NB4 macshit.
>Baby cousin gets french fries and a parfait
>Okay
>SHE DIPS THE FRENCH FRIES IN THE PARFAIT.
>Full derpface
> I am aghast, and yet curious enough to try that demon mixture. Yogurt and french fries...

>Holy fuck, it's delicious. Congratulate her four year old mind. Later try french fries with other various soft serves. Still good as fuck.

That face when from the mouth of babes.

[Anonymous No.4563978]

>>4563975
>he never dipped fries in yogurt/ice cream before

Full pleb

[Anonymous No.4563981]

>>4563978
Never thought of it.
Slowly moving into the patrician class of /ck/ing . Very slowly. Still Learning.

[Anonymous No.4563990]

>buying whipped cream
>old man comes up to me
>"you notice how it says whipped topping and not whipped cream? Yeah, X store still sells whipped cream though. That's how they stick it to ya."
>*turns 360 degrees and walks away*

[Anonymous No.4564013]

>>4563990
>>*turns 360 degrees and walks away*
so he turned full circle and kept walking past you?

[Anonymous No.4564014]

>>4564013
He moonwalked away.

[Anonymous No.4564016]

>>4560200

Has he updated recently?

He knows the right buttons to push

[Anonymous No.4564020]

>>4564013
>2013
>not turning 360° to walk away

[Anonymous No.4564023]

>be like 9
>mum busy dealing with her colythis in the toilet
>" what if i make some popcorn in a 1 inch wide pan made out of tin foil?"
>oil catches fire in 30 seconds flat
>oh god wat do
>have awesome idea of putting it out by squirting water on it from a distance with a spiderman toy i found in cereal
>column of fire is so big my mum notices it while being in another room
>mfw

[Anonymous No.4564025]

>walmart
>looking at cast iron skillets
>random lady walks up
"Make sure you buy American"
>say 'oooookay' in a sarcastic tone and slowly look away back to the cast iron
"You get what you pay for"
>I say Okay again without making eye contact
"No, really"
>put the skillet back and walk away without saying anything
>mfw all of the cast iron there was american
Came back 10 minutes later and got my skillet

[Anonymous No.4564029]

>>4564023
another one

>making muffins
>put too much leavening in the batter
>they start rising 2 minutes after i put them in the oven
>and the won't stop
>eventually end up with something that looks like an upside down lego brick and smells like ammonia

[Anonymous No.4564032]

>looking for some sweets at a grocery store
>find these strawberry delight things
>buy a packet
>next day feel like them again
>go to some store
>can't find the isle nor the item
>die a little on the inside and decide to buy some gummy bears instead

[Anonymous No.4564043]

>>4564025
>walmart
>"You get what you pay for"

[Anonymous No.4564055]

>>4564025
>going to Wal-Mart

Why? There are better places to go.

[Anonymous No.4564059]

>>4563596
yaoihavenreborn dot com
search for ang story

[Anonymous No.4564064]

>>4563742
>>4563808
>>4563797
The fact that people are unwilling to talk to each other is one of the shittest things about modern society. This is the reason that I refuse to live in a large city or 'murrica

[Anonymous No.4564067]

>>4564064
>using people on 4chan as an indicator of an entire society

[Anonymous No.4564069]

>>4564064
>I dont like that people don't talk to each other
>Lives out in the boonies away from the general populace.

[Anonymous No.4564071]

>>4564067
I'm not - clearly my real life decisions are based on actual experiences not on the basis of 4chan - but the posts indicated are an example of the traits that I dislike

[Anonymous No.4564076]

>>4564069
You can live out of a big city and still be part of a community and have people around. Towns/villages will give you daily social interaction without the anti-social attitudes that characterise large cities.

[Anonymous No.4564079]

>>4563742
>>4563797
>>4563808
Yankees living in the south detected.

Born and raised in Louisiana and I don't mind this one bit. In fact, I even do it myself.

[Anonymous No.4564080]

>>4564069
Except people are more friendly and closer in a community in suburban and rural areas than urban
Man was never meant to live without a sense of community, something common in large cities for many people.

[Anonymous No.4564088]

>>4564079
Sorry about that whole "Reconstruction" thing.

[Anonymous No.4564114]

>>4561606
> triple cream brie
> paste cheese
> implying those aren't the same thing

[Anonymous No.4564262]

>>4564080
>people in cities don't have a sense of community

[Anonymous No.4564319]

>mum goes to liquor store to buy wine
>buys two bottles of wine based on the fact that the bottles will make lovely flower vases.
>she chats enthusiastically with one of the staff members about how pretty the bottles she picked are

She also tends to buy her beers based on how interesting/fun the label looks like. She doesn't give a fuck about the taste.

[Anonymous No.4564388]

>>4564319
My mother does this too. I just bought her some booze yesterday, $247.53 to be exact, and I got some Kraken for myself and social events.

She sees my Kraken, "Ooooooh, when you finish the bottle let me have it!" It's like, why?

[Anonymous No.4564413]

>>4560225
>blaming the internet for your degeneracy

[Anonymous No.4564500]

>>4563742
Can someone translate?

[Anonymous No.4564561]

>>4560225
b-but how could you fap to something so adorable

[Anonymous No.4564565]

>>4564388
I'm like this, I always save bottles and jars, especially if they look interesting (Kraken bottles are gorgeous) I use them to store things like tea, rice, flour, homemade yoghurt, whatever. Many of them become bongs.

[Anonymous No.4564572]

>>4564500
>>4563933

[Anonymous No.4564573]

>>4564016
he disappeared.

[Anonymous No.4564579]

>>4564572
That's only one line.

[Anonymous No.4564709]

>>4563781
Goddamn I hate when parents have kids that don't know how to behave.

[Anonymous No.4564722]

>>4563907
They really need to make it illegal to buy soda with food stamps. I see that shit all the time, some elephant with half their cart full of soda and they're obviously super poor so probably have food stamps to buy it with.

[Anonymous No.4564740]

>>4564023
>1 inch wide pan

Sure is idiocy in here. How are you supposed to cook anything in a pan that is 1 inch wide?

[Anonymous No.4564750]

>>4564722
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o64Fz-KW1Dk

[Anonymous No.4564759]

>>4564740
>be like 9
Do you even read bro?

[Anonymous No.4564844]

>>4563879

That's current prince Charles, I think.

[Anonymous No.4564847]

>>4564722
Fascist.

[Anonymous No.4564853]

>>4564016

I guess other koreans found out and beat his hands with thin metal rods.

[Anonymous No.4565063]

>>4564016
>tfw cute femboy to treat like a dirty little slut

[Anonymous No.4565066]

>>4565063
>dirty
boner lost.

[Anonymous No.4565069]

>>4565066
>implying treating them like dirty sluts actually means they're dirty

you're so adorable~

[Anonymous No.4565097]

>>4560200
but he is right. he loves cheese

[Anonymous No.4565105]

>>4563781
don't be an anti- social dick hand

[Anonymous No.4565110]

>>4564071
Down south people do talk to each other a lot, at least where I lived. I did not talk to people. I go to 4chan regularly and for a long time.

[Anonymous No.4565113]

>>4564079
Also Louisiana, also agree. I hate talking to people but this shit is ok for me.

[Anonymous No.4565117]

>>4563933
Nah black people can only barbeque down here, the cajuns have the cooking down.

[Anonymous No.4565118]

>>4565105
12-year-old detected. Please tell your dad that you and your brothers prefer McDonalds over restaurant food.

[Anonymous No.4565132]

>>4564388
She wants to shove it up her ass, obviously.

[Anonymous No.4565134]

>>4563916
Did the exact same thing, but I made pitta to go with it.

Ended up mixing the chickpeas with some egg, herbs, spring onion and breadcrumbs to form a sort of falafel/fritter-thing.

[Anonymous No.4565137]

>>4564064

>Implying 'murrica isn't a thousand times more chatty with strangers than anywhere in Europe

Europeans seem to refuse to talk to each other like it would kill them if they tried.

[Anonymous No.4565142]

>>4564844

Poor Charles.

>Imma be King some day!
>His Mom is fucking immortal

[Anonymous No.4565143]

>>4565137
Why pretend that you're interested in a stranger's well being? Like how everybody in the US says "How are you" but nobody actually cares if you say "Good, thanks. How are you?" or "I've been better". It's part of American superficiality.

[Anonymous No.4565144]

>>4565143
It's just courtesy.

[Anonymous No.4565146]

>>4565144
Courtesy is to greet the other person politely and only ask how they're doing if you actually want to know how he or she is.

[Anonymous No.4565148]

>>4565143

It doesn't matter if you care or not. It's acknowledging them as an actual person, and not treating them like they're an inanimate object

[Anonymous No.4565149]

>>4563672
Welcome to the magical land of Ontario.

[Anonymous No.4565153]

>>4565148
Why does just saying "Hello" equal "treating like an inanimate object"?

[Anonymous No.4565158]

>>4564055
>>4564043

You goddamn morons. Wal-Mart sells Lodge, which is plenty fine and cheap there. Stop being pretentious.

[Anonymous No.4565191]

>at the shops, have just worked a stupid amount, no food in the house, feel like shit
>some lady walks past me and calls me a grumpy gus, but tries to say it in a joking way

[Anonymous No.4565206]

>>4560200
>be 17 and a senior in high school
>my friends and I have a half day
>we decide to break into a few houses after school
>we end up finding an old house
>we break in
>we smoke a bunch of drywall thinking it was crack cocaine
>we all leave, wearing fedoras

[Anonymous No.4565284]

>>4563545
>Be in High School "Culinary Arts"
>Full of fuck ups and stoners because it's a very easy class and you get to eat what you make
>It's like 90% male and taught by a fresh out of college attractive redhead
>Team competition is hilariously fierce and while we wait for things to finish we make crude passes at our teacher

To be 15 again. Still the most useful class I took in high school.

[Anonymous No.4565285]

>>4563616
>100 dollars for a fifth of Jim Beam

Why. Just why. Jim Beam is like average level whiskey. It's just a bit better than Jack Daniels, and a lot better than anything Canadian and Evan Williams.

[Anonymous No.4566526]

>>4563760

That mental image is just grand

[Anonymous No.4566538]

>>4563742
One time a black guy in face paint with a big gnarled cane and crazy hair came up to me putting my groceries in my backpack (ride my bike so I have to put them in there), and says something so I say "what?"
And then he says something like "you gonna fit all those in there?"
And I'm like "oh, yeah..."
And then he fist bumps me and walks off laughing.

I swear he was trying to confuse me on purpose.

[Anonymous No.4566616]

>>4565146
This entirely. When someone I don't know asks me, I say "fairly well," the most non-committal answer I can think of giving. If a friend asks, I tell the truth. Pretending you care isn't polite, it's just you trying to feel like you're a better person.

[Anonymous No.4566626]

>>4563981
>thinking that any of us aren't plebs

[Anonymous No.4566637]

>>4565143
try being a canadian for one day

just fucking try

the pressure is unbearable

[Anonymous No.4566639]

>>4560225
>Fapping to gook cartoons

[Anonymous No.4566646]

>>4565137
So you've never been to any of the 50+ countries in Europe?

I have been to many, and you are either wrong or so ugly that no one wants to talk to you. Must suck!

[Anonymous No.4566685]

>>4564025
>mfw all of the cast iron there was american
made in china, branded and packaged in america.

[Anonymous No.4566688]

>>4564025
>mfw all of the cast iron there was american
made in china, branded and packaged in america, by illegal non tax paying mexicans. ey cabron!

[Anonymous No.4566693]

>>4566688
It's "ay cabron"

[Anonymous No.4566718]

>Be deployed
>Stuck on 'kp' (kitchen patrol)
>Asked to retrieve fruit from one of the giant cooled conexes
>Go inside, start looking through boxes of fruit
>Moldy oranges
>Moldy grapes
>Moldy strawberries
>Moldy pears
>Pick through whatever I can in the boxes
>Chop up molded fruit
>Serve to our highest ranking officers and ncos

Jokes on all of us because we all eat the same food. Just have to sort of grin and bear it

[Anonymous No.4566730]

>>4563751
If people don't bother to inspect their produce before buying it, that's what they deserve.

[Anonymous No.4566738]

>>4563879
>who is that guy

Are you serious? Are you really fucking serious?

My god Americans are dumb.

[Anonymous No.4566740]

>>4563751
Man, that's kinda cute

[Anonymous No.4566745]

>>4566646
>clearly isn't European
They were just humouring you, my loud and oblivious Americlap friend.

[Anonymous No.4566747]

>>4566738
Due tell as to how you found out that poster is American. I'm curious.

[Anonymous No.4566749]

>people complaining that others don't want to talk to complete strangers in stores
Rural/suburbanite scum detected.

[Anonymous No.4566753]

>>4566718
MOLDY FOOD YOU FUCK COOK

[Anonymous No.4566760]

>>4566749
They wouldn't be strangers anymore if you'd just stop being an aspie faggot and learn how to talk to people.

[Anonymous No.4566761]

>lel

[Anonymous No.4566766]

>>4566747
You nigger it's "do tell"

[Anonymous No.4566767]

>>4566760
>aspie faggot
Angry rural/suburbanite scum.

[Anonymous No.4566775]

>>4566767
>rural
Guilty.

Stop being a faggot.

[Anonymous No.4566784]

>>4566775
>living far away from constant human interaction
>probably in the southern united states
>likely maintains an incestual relationship with family members

Right, let's have civilised cities follow your models for social interaction!

[Anonymous No.4566785]

>>4566538
There's not a lot else to do as a black guy than confuse whitey

[Anonymous No.4566787]

>>4566745
I'm not at all loud. Fairly quiet and reserved, actually. But you are surely correct about everything you do! Faggot retard.

[Anonymous No.4566795]

>>4566787
>quiet and reserved
Real aspie detected. I guess that's what living in middle America does to you people.

[Anonymous No.4566796]

>>4566784
>living far away from constant human interaction
Because no one has jobs or cars in the South, amirite?

Oh wait, you probably don't have either, so you just assume everyone else is as pathetic as you.

[Anonymous No.4566802]

>>4566796
You have a job AND a car? Bless your soul.

Keep on doing what you're doing, my adorable southern friend. I'm sure you'll get there one day!

[Anonymous No.4566807]

>>4566802
>I'm sure you'll get there one day!
But I'm retired.

[Anonymous No.4566811]

In grocery store
Got everything I need except half & half
Like 8 people all looking the cooler that holds the half & half
Not buying anything, theyre just looking
Cant see their faces cause they all have their backs to me & are huddled into tje cooler
Say excuse me like 5 times
Nobody moves
Getting aggravated
say excuse me 1 more time really loud
Still they dont move
Yell out 'fucking retards, move damn it!"
They finally move & I see their faces
They were all actually retarded
Spend the rest of my day feeling like a total asshole

[Anonymous No.4566813]

>>4566811
>In grocery store
>Got everything I need except half & half
>Like 8 people all looking the cooler that holds the half & half
>Not buying anything, theyre just looking
>Cant see their faces cause they all have their backs to me & are huddled into tje cooler
>Say excuse me like 5 times
>Nobody moves
>Getting aggravated
>say excuse me 1 more time really loud
>Still they dont move
>Yell out 'fucking retards, move damn it!"
>They finally move & I see their faces
>They were all actually retarded
>Spend the rest of my day feeling like a total asshole

much better

[Anonymous No.4566821]

>>4566813
Lol
sorry im on my phone
Couldnt be bothered with the green text

[Anonymous No.4567220]

I just returned from Costco:
>go with folks to stock up on food before college classes start again
>fathers day, so it's going to be crowded anyway
>no problem getting to the second floor despite crowd
>we have two separate carts to distribute the weight evenly
>leave my own cart in the corner with several items in it
>come back just in time to see some lady on the phone flip the items into another cart (luckily it was one of my parents and not some strangers)
>she tries walking off with it
>confront her, "Miss, what are you doing? That's my cart you're taking"
>"Oh that's your cart? I thought it was free"
>"There were 4 things in there.."
>"Oh sorry, I thought no one was using it" (goes back on cellphone)
>she looks at a cart half-full with items
>starts asking people around if that's their cart and moves to actually CLEAR someone elses cart out and take it as her own
>random people wandering around for carts, including large families

How the fuck do you not see the carts at the entrance?

I saw the person who owned that cart before I walked off into an aisle, I hope he came back in time.

[Anonymous No.4567275]

>Back in college a girl in our circle of friends went full vegan, she never did tell any of us why.
>She gradually became hard to deal with, everything from preaching veganism to utterly random statements.
>Her roommate complained about the stench in the bathroom.
>In a few months she had slimmed down so much her bones were becoming visible.
>Around 4 months she was found dead in her car at the college, vomited blood all over.
>We promised each other to eat healthy in her memory and never go vegan.

[Anonymous No.4567369]

>>4567275
I can't tell if this is real or making a vegan joke.

[Anonymous No.4567403]

>>4566749
I go to a store to buy things, not have an hour-long conversation you stupid bitch.

[Anonymous No.4567408]

>>4567220
"my cart"
Did you pay for it? It is not yours. Ask the store manager who owns the carts. Not you! Stay with the cart or lose it.

[Anonymous No.4567429]

I had dozens of interesting encounters during my studies abroad in the states. Most of them revolve about college kids not knowing anything about food:

>start a relationship with a cute girl
>the fact that I regularly cook really impressed her even though I don't even cook much of fancy stuff, really just moderately difficult pasta and meat dishes at best
>she knew almost nothing about food or cooking in general
>some of the things that she, allegedly, never had: Onions, peas, mushrooms, corn, bell pepper, homemade cookies, mozzarella, any kind of curry dish, any dish that involved whine or beer, fucking toasted bread with butter and cheese, and the list goes on and on
>she tells me it's because her parents never cook and her siblings are super picky with food and will only eat chicken fingers and pizza
>keep wondering how she managed to stay slim and somewhat healthy

>one night some of her friends and I go to Pizza Hut
>order bread sticks with marinara
>the marinara is super sweet
>"Man, I'm gonna ask for a different sauce. There's way too much sugar in this one!"
>her friends start laughing
>"You don't put sugar in tomato sauce! It's not a dessert!"
>ask them if they ever made tomato sauce themselves
>"Lol no, you can just buy a jar!"

>make simple blueberry muffins for a gathering of friends
>they say they're delicious and ask me where I bought them
>"I actually made this myself"
>"Oh, what baking mix did you use?"
>tell them I made them from scratch
>be hailed a baking god

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to generalize or sound condescending. I just never met anyone that actually cared about cooking. Not even those people that lived off-campus.

[Anonymous No.4567438]

>>4567369
It's copypasta.

[Anonymous No.4567464]

>working in a grocery store
>"Hey anon today you'll help this girl, she's new"
>I start sweating
>Hot chick spends whole day texting and complaining about her nigger boyfriend and won't do any work
>some dude didn't come to work today so we have to go check for spoiled stuff
>she's probably breaking up with her boyfriend by the way she texts
>won't fucking help me the whole day
>can't complain since too beta too ask her
>She stops texting
>starts hitting on me
>we're on the spaghetti sector

My boss got real mad at me and had me clean up everything and pay for all the wasted product

[Anonymous No.4567534]

>>4563547
Hahahahhah

[Serkit !eSpvUDpflw No.4567599]

He was obviously just trying to ruse you, OP.