/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4175043]

If you had to eat a human for survival purposes but you had any cooking apparatus at your disposal what part would you eat and how?

[Anonymous No.4175046]

probably the balls

[Anonymous No.4175080]

For survival? The whole fucking thing. I'd probably boil it. Do I have water? I'd make stock. Lots and lots and lots and lots of stock, with boiled meat to just eat and eat and eat. Considering I'd have a fire and probably sticks I could maybe roast stuff. I don't know.

I'd probably stay away from most of the organs, though, save the heart and reproductive bits (womb, testes).

[Anonymous No.4175082]

>>4175043
Depends on the type and build of the human.

[Anonymous No.4175116]

the tits

[Anonymous No.4175142]

>>4175116
the tits are fatty and gross. not too appetizing

Source: Japanese cannibal Issei Sagawa

[Anonymous No.4175252]

>>4175142
I haven't researched which muscles these are but you want to eat the least used muscle groups. I'm guessing there are tiny bits of muscle around the torso that are extremely succulent and tender. I would cook that to medium rare and eat it with a glass of nice cabarnet.

I would make human bourguignon or similar stews with most of the muscles. Humans use their muscles a lot more than cattle so most of the meat would be too chewy and dense to eat medium rare.

Also realize that humans are at the top of the food chain so bioaccumulation is inevitable. Human meat will be filled with chemicals that accumulated over time by eating chemical-laden foods.

[Anonymous No.4175426]

1. Dismember the body into parts. Head, feet, calves, thighs, arms, torso.
2. Skin the meat from the arms and legs, cut meat into strips to dry, reserving any fat.
3. Crack big bones into pieces and put in a pot to render the marrow. Cut any visable fat from torso and add reserved fat from arms + legs to rendered marrow.
4. Cut skin into pieces and fry in boiling fat to make pork rinds.
5. Cut brain into pieces and fry it as well.
6. Cut ribs from torso, roast over fire and eat.
7. Roast hands, feet, skull, etc. over fire. Add roasted parts plus backbone and breastbone from torso to boiling water to make broth/soup. Can cut up interneal organs to add to soup, including penis/testicles.
8. Any leftover rendered fat should be used to fry meat strips from arms and legs until fat is gone. That should just about take care of it, shouldn't it?

[Anonymous No.4175451]

>>4175426
Glad I'm not the only person who's put thought into cooking a human.
I'd grill everything from the torso, ribs, tenderloin, maybe braise the belly.
Braise or stew the leg muscles. Probably fry the hands, flash saute the forearms, dehydrate the upper arms.
Saute everything on the face, especially the cheeks. Cure the ass, make human proscuitto.
Saute the brain like foie gras, maybe a pate of the heart.
Wouldn't eat any of the other organs

[Anonymous No.4175461]

surprised nobody brought this up
http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/butcher.html
probably satirical as is the entire cult but you never know

[Anonymous No.4175517]

>>4175142
Basic biology tells you that tits are fatty and would be gross to eat.
No need to take the word of a cannibal. Doesn't hurt though.

[Anonymous No.4175536]

I would definitely slice off both sides of the ass and slow smoke it over some wood and leafs. I'd call it butt roast. It would be seasoned with salt and cumin, thats all.

[Anonymous No.4175556]

I would only eat the anal tubes and vaginas from little girls.

The rest of you are disgusting.

[Anonymous No.4175560]

>>4175461

nostalgia.asc

I actually bought the CoE "I Like to Watch" single at a record store. I have no idea what happened to it, I think one of my roommates stole it.

[Anonymous No.4175566]

>>4175043
give me a big butt roast and a meat grinder.

assburgers for days

[Anonymous No.4175844]

>>4175517
Breast tissue != fatty adipose tissue.

But yea, go for a muscle.

[Anonymous No.4175868]

I'd try and get hold of a baby, probably just behead it, gut it and spit roast it.

I imagine eating any human over the age of two would end with a bit to much tough stringy muscle.

In all seriousness though I'd just do what Bear Grylls has taught me, drink my own piss and eat bugs before I ate human.

[Anonymous No.4175881]

>eating brain

Enjoy your Kuru.

[Anonymous No.4175893]

ass meat

[Anonymous No.4175896]

human pulled pork mmm mmm good

[Anonymous No.4175898]

>>4175566

a butt roast would be the shoulder you fucking knob.

but haw haw haw at you hilarious joke

[Anonymous No.4175930]

Butcher it up proper and deep fry everything.

[Anonymous No.4175933]

Slow cooked tender leg tendons... mmmmm lol

slow cooker style so the meat marinates in its own ragu

[Anonymous No.4175938]

This has never been relevant to /ck/ more then right now.

[Anonymous No.4175950]

throw some ribs on the smoker, grind up the tough cuts and giblets to make sausages

[Anonymous No.4176320]

braise a shin, salt the rest to store it

[Anonymous No.4176364]

SuP3r 3dgy & TaBoO!!!1