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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4102865 No.4102865 [Reply] [Original]

anyone else hate this waterhead, retard lookin' motherfucker and what he does to food?

http://now.msn.com/smoked-water-is-a-new-restaurant-food-fad

>> No.4102876

It's for monkeys who ended up estranged from nature. Unfortunately we can only expect more of those in the future.

>> No.4102871

I LOVE THE BASE BASE BISCUIT BASE I LOVE THE BUTTERY BISCUIT BASE

>> No.4102880

Blumenthal practically invented the modern pretentious "foodie" movement with his fucking shitty bacon & eggs ice cream and his blowtorch shit and his sous vide.

What a shitty chef. Why do Britfags like this guy, again?

>> No.4102888

he's a good chef, none of you can deny that convincingly. his supermarket products are almost always shitty but i use his 'finishing jus for beef' as it's the closest thing to a decent quality demi glace i can find at a supermarket.

terrible tv persona.

>> No.4102894

>>4102871
wrong douchebag

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfeyUGZt8nk

>> No.4102895

I despised this guy as an arrogant faggot any time I saw him on tv. Then Michel Roux Jr took the contestants of Masterchef Professionals to the Fat Duck for the invention test and it fucking blew me away. It's not novelty, it's not pretentious or gimmicky for gimmick's sake. The entire menu when it is dissected and explained is composed to blow your mind. I now really want to go there at least once, and have a new respect for the baldy twonk.

>> No.4102925

He isn't an official chef right? Because he's selftaught?
When do you earn the 'title' of chef?

>> No.4102930

>>4102925
When you begin to manage your own restaurant.

Chef just translates to "chief" or "boss" in Romance.

>> No.4102932

>>4102930;
Oh right, thanks.

>> No.4102942

>>4102895
>It's not novelty, it's not pretentious or gimmicky for gimmick's sake.
^this a thousand times.

I love babby head Blumenthal. I think he's leagues above even Grant Achatz (who does really cool stuff too, but sometimes he does incomprehensible hipster things like scatter dead leaves all around a dining table) because Blumenthal is really all about the food. If any restaurant deserves claim to the void left by El Bulli, I think it's the Fat Duck. And he's a self-taught chef at that!

That said I realize he comes across as a pretentious little shit on TV. He is a lot more personable in writing; I received a copy of "Blumenthal at Home" for Christmas and the tone is really friendly, really down to earth.

>> No.4102944

>>4102925
>this is what Americans really believe

>> No.4102947

>>4102944
Merely a question my nigga. Also, not an Americunt sorry bruuuhhh

>> No.4102952

>>4102925

You need a PhD in food and a oath to only cook the shittiest parts of the animal.

>> No.4102994

>>4102865

He's just really fascinated by the whole thing. It's actually quite ... fascinating, in turn.

It reminds me of an episode of CSI where some prodigy girl kills her much older boyfriend. Puts a block of sodium in the showerhead or something and the science teacher just says "I have no idea how she got it but even if Samantha had asked me for sodium, I would've given it to her ... just to see what she would do with it."

>> No.4102995

>>4102994
you getting snowed in dawg?

>> No.4103009

>>4102994

One of those "MacGuyver blows a hole in a wall with Sodium" type of failed science episodes.

Actually almost every CSI has some kind of incredibly failure of anatomy/biology

>> No.4103010

>>4102995

I think you underestimate me.

I killed two trees with snow when I had a car.

>> No.4103011

>>4103009

Naw, sodium explodes with water. Under a showerhead, with a water column behind ... can do some damage. I don't think that's what killed him, though.

>> No.4103012

>>4103010
But is Montreal getting a lot of snow?

I have to drive to Gatineau tomorrow...

>> No.4103026

>>4103021
aren't you the social one today

>> No.4103021

>>4103012

>weatheroffice.gc.ca

>> No.4103025

>>4103011

Explodes?.. more like it reacts with water

The only thing that could kill him is if in enhaled enough hydrogen and smoke to asphyxiate him before he could.. walk out of the bathroom.

An explosion requires compression of some kind like a container, and you would need a bathtub of sodium under compression instantly reacting to water at once to "explode".

These are writers that failed highschool science, nothing new.

>> No.4103079

>>4103025
There are videos on youtube of sodium reacting with water, under certain conditions it explodes. Keep in mind the shower is hot and there was a good amount of sodium.
There is also the whole production of sodium hydroxide thing, as well as any shrapnel from the shower.
Polite sage for not /ck/ related in any way.

>> No.4103110

>>4103079
>implying the hot shower water does anything for the reaction

>> No.4103148

>>4103110
>implying the initial temperature has no effect on an exothermic reaction

>> No.4103151

>>4103148
>implying implications

>> No.4103162

>The fluid supposedly soaks up the flavor and bar owners are champing at the bit to get their hands on some for high-end marinades and, according to one bar owner, ice cubes. Will he put them in organic, free-range ice trays?

Since when are organic and free-range things pretentious?

>> No.4103163

>>4103026

I went outside and had a little run in the snow, it was fun for about a block.

It's just snow, though. Major roads are clear but some people are having problem getting out of parking spaces.

>> No.4103179

>>4103162

>not putting organic icecubes in your organic scotch

>> No.4103199

>>4103162
>Since when are organic and free-range things pretentious?

Is this a joke?

For at least a dozen years now.

>> No.4103207

>>4103199
>the way everything used to be produced is now pretentious
lel

>> No.4103214

>>4103199

Why are people so insecure about their own shit and have to get mad at other peoples' healthier practices?

>You don't spray poison all over your food? WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? FUCK YOU! DOUCHEBAG!

>> No.4103219

>>4103214
Oh but wait, "Africa would be starving if it wasn't for Americans eating GMO pesticide-laden food".

lol

>> No.4103269

>>4103207

uhhh... yeah, it is. Not embracing modern science in favour of doing things "traditionally" just for the sake of it is definitely pretentious.

Are you retarded?

>> No.4103276

>>4103214
>all caps, personal attacks, putting words in my mouth I never used

Sorry, who's "so insecure" and "mad"? I never said any of that, all I said was that it was pretentious, which is clearly is.

Why do you care so much about what an anonymous poster thinks about your hipster lifestyle choices?

>> No.4103281

cant wait till weed is legal
im going to open a 2 deep 4 u restaurant
bong water is the only beverage
the lights flicker and turn off randomly
every seat has a vent over it blasting air that randomly changes from hot to cold
nothing on the menu for less than 20$
you have to put a 50$ deposit down a week earlier if you cancel i keep the money

>> No.4103381

>>4102865
That sounds awfully lot like liquid smoke.

>> No.4103416

>>4103276

So why's organic food pretentious? You never explained why, you just said it was. I called you out on being insecure about the food you eat, and now here you are calling me a hipster for not eating poison

>> No.4103424
File: 28 KB, 335x333, 1348954804464.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4103424

So it's fancy bongwater?

Hahaha

>> No.4103426

>>4102952
Oh you!

>> No.4103427

>>4103025
Sticking it in the shower head is basically a small pipbomb

>> No.4103432

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxK7qzePkd4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpHT9bprI6Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDlIVvT9yxo

I bet this man could produce some tasty lumberwater
he's a convicted sexual offender too

>> No.4103434

>>4102865

He's a fuck.

He has a video where he says to cook steak by turning it every fifteen seconds for several minutes, and that it's better then turning it only once because it will be juicier.

Oh, and marinate steak with table salt before cooking. What the shit?

>> No.4103440

>>4103434
This guy has done his research you know?
Also you're probably only saying that about table salt because it isn't kosher or sea salt.

>> No.4103469

>>4103440

Lol no, he's the only chef in the entire fuck world that recommends flipping a steak 25 fucking times to cook it.

And no, I believe table salt on raw meat will dehydrate it, ending with a less juicy steak.

>> No.4103473

>>4103381
OP here. i'm surprised it took that long for someone to feel me on what i was reading.

>> No.4103476

Smoked water could be a very interesting base for barbecus or marinades.

>> No.4103478

>>4103469
They did a study and found the number of times to turn a steak for most awesomeness during cooknig. And its way more than once, so yes this guy is on to something. Shut up.

>> No.4103510

>>4103478

Oh, I didn't know there was a study where the find the "awesomeness" of a steak.

Alright, i'll go back to my tender and juicy one-flipped steak while you chew your tough dry overflipped cardboard.

>> No.4103511

>>4103478

The study is in Modernist Cuisine, and the conclusion is NOT that it tastes any better--it doesn't. It is, however, faster than flipping once; but aside from a slight decrease in the cooking time the results are no different than flipping once.

>> No.4103526

>>4102865

Pleb harder OP
>tfw you will never meet Heston's greatness
>tfw he's a genius
>tfw *sigh*

>> No.4103553

>>4103469

flipping a steak regular delivers high average heat to the surface and low average heat to the centre of the meat, resulting in a more efficient sear and a more even internal temperature. it actually cooks it faster too, so it's not too much of a ballache.

yes, salt on the surface does draw out moisture, but it also increases the water holding capacity of the meat. drying out the surface itself improves browning. the overall result is arguably preferable to an unseasoned steak.

>> No.4103555

>>4103553
Wouldn't salting it bring moisture to the surface?

>> No.4103556

>>4103526
It was a huge leap forward graphically.
What the fuck were people expecting

>> No.4103558

I think he's a good chef. But I don't get the feeling he's an instinctive chef, his meals are the product of meticulous research. If you put a bunch of ingredients in front of him he'd probably suck. But give him a week and he'd make the greatest thing in the world.

>> No.4103563

>>4103556
>mfw
Wrong thread

>> No.4103571

>>4103555
Yes, but how long is the salt even on the surface?

>> No.4103658

>>4102865
Based Heston.

>> No.4103746

>>4103434
Turning it frequently absolutely does produce a superior steak. The table salt thing though.....yeah.

>> No.4103749

>>4103511
It cooks faster and produces a more evenly cooked steak with a superior crust, so, yeah it does taste better.

>> No.4103755

>>4103555

yes, of course it would, but it also solubilises the protein to some extent, which will lessen the amount of moisture loss doing cooking. i don't know how much these effects equilibrate, but they do produce a good crust without drying out the steak perceptibly. all things being equal of course.

>> No.4104004
File: 40 KB, 360x360, 1356463205412.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4104004

gay4heston

>> No.4104046

idek who this tool is but he has a fug little squishy troll face

>> No.4104064

I kinda like Heston. He's pretty much a douche, but he's also kind of mad about food in an infectious way, like he'll try EVERYTHING to get THE best french fry, even if it takes like 15 steps and half a day to make a batch of french fries that are 10% better than a method that takes 20 minutes.

For most of us, the last percentages don't matter, but I can't fault the man for wanting to get there.

He is obviously some kind of aspie, which is pretty cool with me.

>> No.4104168
File: 68 KB, 483x725, harry_dean_stanton.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4104168

The level of Blumenthal butthurt is astounding

>> No.4104171

>>4103510
>>4103478
>>4103469
>>4103553
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyI6TQ0dnPw#t=3m
many people turn their steaks constantly

Both Heston and Tetsuya do it - and they've both had "Top 10" restaurants in the world, so I wouldn't decline a steak from ether one.

Heston is amazing if you go out and try the things he suggests. He really knows what he's doing and if you're paying attention you can learn countless little tricks to improve your every day cooking.

>> No.4104189

>>4104168
I met Harry in the 90s. We were vying for the same chick at a thai bar in Hollywood. Sat at the bar with him for hours chatting. What a fucking cool motherfucker that guy is.
He looks so old in that photo.

>> No.4104197

>pretentious
pls

>> No.4104203

heston doesn't cook, he just wanks but with food instead of his dick

>> No.4104216

Wow, really is the potato chip sandwich crowd on this board.

Enjoy your underclass subsistence diet.

>> No.4104227

>>4104171

heston def wouldn't do that in his restaurants, much more likely to be a sous vide job with a pre + post sear.

>> No.4104239

>>4104227
watch the whole vid, its not a sous vide job. Heston and Tetsuya go way back, they have a mutual understanding when it comes to taste

>> No.4104691

>>4103469
Unlike some people on an anonymous message board on the internet, that guy actually does reasearch on his recipes and there's always a reason for what he's doing. But never you mind dear, keep flipping away any way you like, I wouldn't want to bruise your feelings; I'm sure your technique produces the best charcoal ever.

>> No.4104892

I used to be part of the one flip crowd, then I saw a video by Harold McGee I got to a couple links in from a post about fish slaughter on Cooking Issues.

He showed internal temperature gradients of steaks and the reduced cooking time it takes.

I tried the technique myself and found that it produced a great crust, a much thinner overcooked band beneath the crust and a very even gradient of doneness.

Definitely not something I would curse myself to do on a line, but cooking two or three steaks at home definitely a technique that makes a steak that much better.

>> No.4104932

he definitely knows his stuff http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/restaurants/8936725/Fat-Duck-waited-six-weeks-to-report-food
-poisoning.html

>> No.4104957

>>4104932
these articles are based on an anonymous report published on the web:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/dec/05/fat-duck-restaurant-noroviris-outbreak

The "food poisoning" was a norovirus. That does not even need food or kitchen contact to spread, it is so contagious. If one diner turned up feeling ill then just being in the same room, touching the same door handle on the way out can pass on the illness.

I was interested at the time at the wide scale reporting of that story, like it was a media hatchet job. I wonder if Heston did something to upset these people or if its just typical british press liking to destroy a success story?

>> No.4104970

>>4103163
You live in Montreal, Sceak? That's pretty cool, for some reason I thought you were living on some coastal southern state. I live between Ottawa and Montreal myself.

>> No.4105000

>>4104970

I wish I did but I'm too ... fucked up, I decided to not go pollute the U.S. with my walking carcass.

I also want to have a boyfriend and live with him, as a couple, and I figured my chances were greater here.

Experiencing massing cabin fever right now, though. Did manage to find a guy who wanted to date, so I guess that's that.

inb4facechan
inb4ban

>> No.4105020

>>4105000
Last post I suppose so we don't get banned, but I know how you feel. I'm snowed in here, and going more than a little squirrel-y. Keep your chin up you unbalanced tripfriend!