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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4072566 No.4072566 [Reply] [Original]

You're going out to have the best meal of your life, accompanied by your best friend, family member, spouse or SO. Everything is going to be absolutely perfect.

Who's cooking the meal? It can be anyone in the world.

>> No.4072571

Giada in a tight white bikini with her hair down and stilettos.

>> No.4072580

Lt. Jane from SG:U

>> No.4072591
File: 38 KB, 468x614, nigella-lawson-09.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4072591

Nigellas cooking for me, wearing a whipped cream bikini.

>> No.4072589

>>4072580
James james james

fuck my phone

>> No.4072598

Stephen Fry

>> No.4072594

>>4072566

A big fat black lady from Mississippi or possibly Alabama. I wish I could have grown up with a Southern black grandmother, those ladies can cook.

>> No.4072607

>>4072594
Fuck yea, I used to live next door to a black family and the grandma lived with em and cooked all the time. Best shit ever, that woman could cook. I got to be friendly with em and the grandma would invite me over for dinner and the grandson was always smoking blunts out on the porch and smoked me out err'day.

>> No.4072609
File: 9 KB, 170x169, ms peachez.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4072609

>>4072594
Ms Peachez

She gon fry dat chicken

>> No.4072628

>>4072594
The older generation, yes.
The newer generation, sadly, no.

*Old* style Southern cooking is delicious but mostly unhealthy for the most part.

For OPs question it would be a toss-up between Alicia Keys or Angie Harmon.

>> No.4072629

I'd opt for a world renowned chef. Probably Chef Boyardee.

>> No.4072639

Me. I'm cooking the dinner..
Also, Tony Bourdain and Eric Ripert are there to help with the items I feel flat in, and then a massive sweaty kitchen orgy later.

>> No.4072647

masaohf on one of those japanese teppanyaki

>> No.4072652

I know it's not a popular choice among the self proclaimed foodies and experts but I'd go alone and have Samantha Brown cook everything in nothing but an apron. Then after dinner I'd plow her like a fertile field in Georgia.

>> No.4072653

>>4072629
!OPIATE, you dropping the trip tonight?

>> No.4072657

easy Mark Bittman. He can stay in the kitchen though, I don't want to have to hear his pretentious b.s.

>> No.4072666

>>4072607

Lucky bastard.

>>4072628

Yeah, by old Southern black grandma I meant the older generation style. Soul food. And healthiness isn't a big concern as long as I'm not eating it every day.

>> No.4072672

>>4072653
So what... get over it.

>> No.4072673

masaoki

my girlfriend and I will fuck in the light of the grease fire to the seet seranade of "TETETETETETETETE".

>> No.4072682

If it was a bunch of bros hanging out, it would be Andrew Zimmern. That guy is always happy and in a great mood. You could sit him in a vat of cow dung and he'd crack a joke.

>> No.4072697

Definately Iron Chef Micheal Simon... never seen anything that man has made that I wouldn't kill to have a taste...

>> No.4072733
File: 56 KB, 550x367, shoshanna.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4072733

That chick from Inglorious Basterds, Shoshanna.

>> No.4072739

>>4072566
Me. I care too much about the people I love to let them eat the filth someone else prepared.

>> No.4072749

>>4072739
There are no better cooks / chefs than yourself. Are you trolling?

>> No.4072754

Man, it'd be a toss up between Gordon Ramsay or Anthony Bourdain.

>> No.4072772

>>4072754
I'm going with Anthony Bourdain.
I'm reading Kitchen Confidential right now and have a huge boner for him.

>> No.4072783

>>4072772
Yeah, he's an awesome guy and great chef, I just think I would get along with Gordon better.

>> No.4072826

>>4072783
>get along with gordon better
so you're a huge asshole?

>> No.4072828

>>4072772
I haven't read the book but many reviewers have said that's what put him on the map. It must be one hell of a read.

>> No.4072830

>>4072826
Or a bully.

I've thought several times that I would have to kick his ass outright in order to control his childish tantrums.

>> No.4072839

>>4072830
You've been watching too much American TV. He's a drama-mama on american TV so that the networks can capitalize off his "heartless bastard" image.
Watch some of his cookalongs on youtube. He's pretty baller.

>> No.4072843

>>4072839
Except the first program he ever filmed was a fly-on-the-wall documentary in his first owned restaurant. He was even worse than he is on Hell's Kitchen.

Maybe you should actually know about what you're writing about before you make a fool of yourself. This is a public board and anyone can read what you're writing. Have some respect for yourself.

>> No.4072853
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4072853

>>4072839
Ah, good to know. As Jon Lovitz would say...

>> No.4072863

>>4072843

Edgy as fuck.

I don't know who's right here, but I do know who is being a self-righteous ass.

>> No.4072874

Jacque Pepin. My hero.

>> No.4072892

This isn't happening and never will, so I'm not going to delude myself and make myself sad by thinking of what would occur.

>> No.4072897

>>4072892
Yes, I sad

>> No.4072928
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4072928

Adam Richman. Why? Because this guy is so corny and fun that anyone would have such a great time around him.

>> No.4072932

My mother would cook something good and tell me I was good and she would sincerely say she loves me. Everyone would hug. the end.
Just kidding I just thought I would post something as pathetic as a Ramsey argument.

>> No.4072936
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4072936

Samuel L. Jackson.

Who here wouldn't want Samuel L. Jackson to cook dinner for them?

>> No.4072945
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4072945

I might pick a political hot plate.

>> No.4072958

Justin Wilson, so that while he's cooking he can keep me entertained with random Acadien jokes and anecdotes and we can get shithoused on Sherry while he whoops up god-tier Cochon de Lait.

C'est si bon!

>> No.4072957

Chef will be Masaharu Morimoto and it would be with my mom. Because it's the least I could do for all the shit she puts up with.

>> No.4073032

>>4072566
Once I get the money, I want to take my mom to The French Laundry. It's on both our bucket lists.

>> No.4073039
File: 43 KB, 266x354, bio-robert-irvine_al.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4073039

Robert Irvine, as long as I got to touch his arms and maybe hang off them while he flexed.

>> No.4073072

Wylie Dufresne or Heston Blumenthal.
'Cause if I'm getting a meal, no strings attached, I wanna try something that's unseen around where I live (San Antonio.)

>> No.4073073

>>4072607
blunts and soul food, you lucky motherfucker.

>> No.4073162
File: 20 KB, 320x320, Emeril-Lagasse.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4073162

What ever happened to Emeril? All I ever see of him now is his bullshit spices. I liked his cooking :(

>> No.4073185
File: 167 KB, 1024x768, remy_ratatouille_rat_desktop_1024x768_wallpaper-265400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4073185

This fucking guy amirite?!

>> No.4073199

>>4073185
this.

>> No.4073211

>>4073162

That's like asking what happened to the music on MTV.

Emeril was a chef, not an entertainer. There's no place for him since food network transitioned from cooking shows to "food theatre", "food reality competition" and "travel show where the host eats shit and talks about it".

I'd imagine he's spending his time actually cooking.

>> No.4073214

>Who's cooking the meal?
My SO and I. My dream date is cooking dinner together (without a recipe, just winging it), getting into a food fight, eating, cuddling and maybe sex, then falling asleep on the couch without cleaning up.

>> No.4073225

>>4073214
i hate you whether you're a man or a woman.

>> No.4073226

>>4073214
>cuddling and maybe sex

You are girl.

>> No.4073333

>>4073214

>maybe sex
>worried about having to clean up
>not wanting at least a threesome in everything you do

yup, smells like woman

>> No.4073570

Hitler's cooking kosher sausage on the gas range

>> No.4073576

>>4073226
>>4073333
I'm not her/him but I'm a man and I'm similar!

Okay, my motherly traits like foundness for cooking, crafts and children doesn't sounds very manly...

>> No.4073587

I'm with my two girlfriends and we're in a hotel restaurant being served tasty cuisine from around the world prepared by a sophisticated mechanized kitchen and self-mobile robotic waiters.
Then we'll go up to a room for the night.

>> No.4073654

>>4073576
Don't worry, that sounds hot.

>> No.4073661

A short chubby bald gay guy who lets out a girlish EEK! whenever he gets excited.

>> No.4073670
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4073670

>>4073661
Andrew Zimmern? I love that guy! But I don't think he is gay, just sounds gay sometimes.

>> No.4073672
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4073672

>>4073670
Wrong pic!

>> No.4073676

>>4073670
well he has a 7/10 wife but back when he was homeless Im quite sure he was a gay prostitute for drugs.

>> No.4073682

>>4073676
Having a 7/10 wife is getting more pussy that 90% of this site

>> No.4073684

Heston Blumenthal easily.

>> No.4073685

>>4073670
Sounds gay, looks gay, probably likes meat in sausages more than in any other form..

>> No.4073690

>>4072566
I just came here to say that these tits look awesome.

>> No.4073694

>>4073685
On the other hand he is man enough to try dishes that not even I would try. And I'm the kind of person that would love to have the chance to eat some roasted tarantula or fryed scorpion and didn't think twice before trying century eggs and natto

>> No.4073699

>>4073185

shit motherfucker. no other choice. decision made.

>> No.4073726

Guy Fieri

>> No.4074732

I would love to watch Jacques Pepin cook for a whole week. It would be awesome.

>> No.4074748

jacques cousteau

>> No.4074777

Patty Cake

>> No.4074789
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4074789

We both love sushi, and this theoretical situation is the only time we'd be able to get it from him.

>> No.4074813

If I had a perfect date, I would want a famous TV chef to be cooking for us. I'd probably pick Anthony Bourdain since everone knows him and my date would be thrilled.

>> No.4074837

I'd want Michelle Obama to cook for me so I could yell back into the kitchen, "Hurry up, nigger!"