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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4068257 No.4068257 [Reply] [Original]

Not gonna lie, I'm trying to make my girlfriend put on a little weight.

Suggestions for things I can bake which are not obviously full of calories, but full of calories none the less.

>> No.4068269

As a card carrying member of the vagina club, unless we're flippant with what we eat anyway, we'll start to suspect something's up if you're shoveling cake at us all the time.

Cook her dinner. Deliciously, deceptively calorie ridden dinners. It wasn't until I moved out on my own that I realized a whole box of kraft mac n cheese is 1200 calories, that the pasta side packets I loved so much were about 500.

There are foods out there you think are healthy that are definitely not. Look into that and make her dinner a few nights a week. She won't think twice if it seems healthy.

>> No.4068272

make up bullshit reasons to celebrate and eat

>> No.4068280

Gather up all the fatty stuff in your pantry.

Then run a knife over your throat.

You manipulative fuck.

>> No.4068285

whey in everything
splenda too

>> No.4068291

Learn how to cook.

Lure her in with fragrances.

>> No.4068294

eat a stick of butter every morning, and make her swallow your semen.

>> No.4068306

>I'm trying to make my girlfriend put on a little weight.
Why?

Reasons I can think of:
You would like her a little plumper.
You have a feeder/fat fetish.
You're trying to secretly help her out of anorexia-land.
You're trying to create an excuse to break up with her.

>> No.4068307

The most calorific foods are fats. Cook everything in extra oil and butter and you're sure to see some changes.

>> No.4068322

Most believe that eating fat makes them fat when in fat carbs are much more effective at that.

The reason is that your body can cope very well with a sudden raise in blood fat but get too much sugar in your blood and you get in coma. To prevent that your body produces hormones telling to remove that from the blood and store it.

Fat on the other hand usually is emergency fuel for when you dont have sugar so if you eat a lot of fat it tells your body that it can use fat as fuel without worries.

So to make her fat fast absorption carbs are your friend, slow digestion carbs and fibers are you enemy.

You can make many low fat dishes filled with carbs and she will think that they are healthy because lol, low fat

>> No.4068369
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4068369

French the mash (whack up the butter and cream content)
Baste the meat with butter
Confit the veg
Go for milkshakes for dessert (mwahaha)
Add the bacon
Make lots of pasta, strain it, nice knob of butter and lots of grated parmesan (it will coagulate nicely and seem like you've only added a lot of cheese)
French fries with lots of good homemade condiments (sugary catsup and such, PS, cut the potato into batons, start it in the cold oil, bring the oil to 350 degF, hold 'em in for a minute 'til perfectly golden, fish 'em out and shake in the paper bag with lots of salt and fresh pepper and paprika and piment d'esplette, you can only do one batch this way but it's how Robouchon does it at home, absolute godtier. just strain the oil and you can use it a few times over a week or two, just never bring it to smoke point, and please, be fucking careful deepfrying things)
Keep coldbrew coffee in the fridge on tap with lots of sugar and cream
Choose really marbled cuts of beef
Add the bacon
Make nice homemade soups, finish them with the heavy cream
Do the comfort food thing, fried chicken, buttery biscuits, RICH mac
More later

I for one support your quest.

>>4068280 don't listen to this dastardly tripfag, there is nothing morally wrong with what you're doing

>> No.4068370

>>4068369

PS, I am a cook not a nutritionist, so people like the person above my post probably have the right idea with feeding her lotsa carbs

>> No.4068375

>>4068322
Continuation.
Among sugars the shortest ones are the best. monosacarides are the best (like glucose and fructose) while long chain starch are the worst. Instead of being absorbed quickly forcing your body to store all that sugar to avoid damaging tissues with the glucose overload, long chain carbs give your body sugar at a slow rate keeping sugar levels constant so depending on the situation they can even help her lose weight. So always make sure to use syrup for sweetening anything.

And by the way don't you think fruits are good for fattening. They also contains fibers that slow down the absorption of the sugars!

So for getting fat soft drinks are better than fresh squeezed oranges and fresh squeezed oranges are better than eating the oranges.

>> No.4068377

>>4068370

lol I dunno man. My diet is almost entirely carbs (not sugars, complex carbohydrates and lots of fiber) and I weigh 115lbs. If she watches her portion size, feeding her all carbs ain't gonna do shit. That's why you have to stealth add calories, and the only way to do that is add more fat.

>> No.4068386

>>4068377
see
>>4068375
Complex carbs are not good for making you fat. That golden glucose syrup is pure gold in making people fat... and diabetes...