Let's Create The Worst Restaurant Ever

[Anonymous No.3996112]

I had a funny idea the other day, and thought /ck/ might like this. If you set out to make the worst restaurant ever, what would it be like. I don't mean things like serving expired food or poison. I mean let's think of a restaurant that encompasses all of the most irritating and stupid culinary trends over the years all under one roof. My idea isn't fully fleshed out yet, but here's what I have so far:

>large menu section dedicated solely to sliders
>dessert menu consists exclusively to cake pops
>every menu item is described as "rustic"

[Anonymous No.3996121]

>red onions get cooked/grilled
>yellow onions served raw

[Anonymous No.3996122]

Making "ethnic cooked" versions of other ethnic food.

Like "mexican fried" italian pasta.

"chinese themed" pizza.

stuff like that could be good. The food would be going in two different directions.

[Anonymous No.3996125]

It's been done already, it's called Chez Cora:

>Wait in line forever
>Sit down at dirty table, half the utensils are missing
>waiters/waitresses are 13 years old and have 0 experience
>order breakfast that was supposed to come with toast
>ask where the rest of the toast is
>"Well, when you finish that one you can have more"

Welcome to Quebec.

[Anonymous No.3996126]

Every bartender would have to refer to themselves as "mixologists", and their name tag would read "mixologist ______"

[Anonymous No.3996127]

Everything comes with some kind of ridiculous molecularly gastronomic foam. Even the sliders.

In fact, especially the sliders.

[Anonymous No.3996130]

>20% gratuity added to all checks.
>blast techno

[Anonymous No.3996135]

>>3996112

"the tv diner"

only microwaved tv dinners
presented in original packaging
served on tv trays
only sporks to eat with
old couches for seating
tube tv's in front of every couch

[Anonymous No.3996137]

Smoke machine running all the time.

[Anonymous No.3996142]

Garishly bright clashing colors on the walls.
Everything is served ala carte.

[Anonymous No.3996143]

never salt anything

[Anonymous No.3996141]

>>3996135
It wouldn't work without cats everywhere.

[Anonymous No.3996144]

>>3996135
i'd go there

[Anonymous No.3996145]

>>3996112
> Cooking simple things like mac-n-cheese and chicken nuggets and charging a ton of money for it.

Kinda like what The Melting Pot does by charging people $25 per person for fondue.

[Anonymous No.3996146]

>>3996135
Except for the part where it's actually microwave tv dinners I can imagine some asshole doing this.

So our restaurant should serve shitty sliders and cake pops in recycled tv dinner packaging.

[Anonymous No.3996150]

>>3996122
Yeah. Fusion.

My worst restaurant would be a Japanese-British pub fusion.

With crazy crap on the walls.

[Anonymous No.3996152]

The place only employs cute teenage girls with big tits that don't know jack shit about any form of customer service and just giggle at everything.

[Anonymous No.3996154]

This is what the floors look like to bounce off our bright colors and smokey restaurant.
It's covered in polyurethane, so it wouldnt actually hurt anyone.

[heartsonfire !!fPX2cAyysZV No.3996155]

>>3996125
>>ask where the rest of the toast is
>>"Well, when you finish that one you can have more"
I think I would kill someone.

[Anonymous No.3996157]

>>3996152

and they have that asinine hipster rule that waitstaff has to remember your order, because writing things on paper is so tacky.

[Anonymous No.3996159]

>>3996152
I have a burrito franchise nearby that decided to staff entirely with hot white girls. The original location is all Messican, and actually good.

[Anonymous No.3996160]

From an old post I have no idea if ever got archived...
----------

Just down the street from The Bukkake Grill

Atrocities!
(A not so family restaurant)
Where good food is served in Bad Taste

Sandwiches
The Bonnie & Clyde ・Two all beef patties brutally tenderized and served on Texas toast with lots and lots of Swiss cheese.

The Bob Denver ・We take a solo hotdog and drop it screaming onto a mountain of our special chili.

The Momma Cass ・Big chunks of grilled ham smothered in string cheese, it will take your breath away!

The Hindenburger ・It's our biggest yet, a full pound of beef, flame broiled to a rich char and served with smoked onions. Oh the Humanity!

The Elvis - An impacted peanut butter sandwich, deep-fried in a pressure cooker, you cant't pass this one!

The Anna Frank ・A kosher sausage served up with lots of kraut

[con't]

[Anonymous No.3996163]

>>3996160
The Baby Seal Club ・[no desc]

Entrees
The Donner Party Rib Platter - Enough to feed the whole family, but we gotta・warn you・the secret is not in the sauce.

Titanic King Crab ・Pulled from the freezing waters of the Atlantic just for you, served with a wedge of Iceberg.

Rodney King Minute Stake - Pounded flat and covered with crackers, you can't beat it!

The Jun-Bina battered shrimp Platter ・young and tender gulf shrimp, delicately battered and served while still warm.


Entree Salads
Wako Waldorf Salad - A classic Waldorf salad, but for that signature Atrocities twist・We toast the nuts!

Curt Cobain Cobb Salad ・A delightful Cobb Salad served with our signature Buckshot Dressing, it will blow your mind.

[Anonymous No.3996164]

>>3996112

Op here, just thought of another one:

>The menu contains a 3 page self-congratulatory run-through of how sustainable and organic all of the ingredients are.

[Anonymous No.3996165]

>>3996163

Sides
Muster Gas Mashed Potatoes ・10,000 ethnic Kurds can稚 be wrong!

Jewish Rye bread ・Fresh from the ovens!

Desserts
Pompeii chocolate volcano - Duck and Cover, this one comes to the table fast, hot, and without warning.

Drinks
The Marilyn Monroe ・Sparkling white wine garnished with ground tranquilizers, a beautiful drink served in a shallow glass.

The JFK ・A shot of Johnnie Walker Black and it comes with a Marilyn Monroe ・that's two shooters for the price of one!

The Chappaqua - Scotch and murky water

The Nichole Brown - bloody Mary mix cut with O.J.

Don't forget the 9/11.

Two towering sandwiches with 9/11ths of a pound of brisket between them. Served with fiery chipotle mayo, how could you not want to demolish them?

[Anonymous No.3996166]

>>3996121
I lol'ed.

>>3996126

Nice. In fact, make everyone's job title sound fancy. "Sanitation expert" instead of dishwasher, for instance.

>>3996127

>tfw I used to make chorizo foam at a restaurant I worked in

Easily the worst trend in recent memory.

Here's my contribution: all of the food /must/ come from the same state of business, it can only be seasonal, and it must be organic. Good luck!

[Anonymous No.3996168]

Three words:

Traditional
Romanian
Cuisine

...

[Anonymous No.3996170]

-FISTERBURGER-, "We'll burger the fuck outta you!" The only items on the menu would be 1 lb+ burgers topped with ridiculous excesses of anything remotely considered manly. I've had this idea for a while.

[Anonymous No.3996175]

>>3996170

and all the burgers would come with an edible mustache garnish

[Anonymous No.3996195]

>>3996165
>9/11ths of a pound

wut

[Anonymous No.3996209]

The waiters expect tips

[Anonymous No.3996260]

>>3996195
.82 pounds approx.

[Anonymous No.3996278]

>>3996209
Equal to the price of the meal

[Anonymous No.3996280]

Sriracha on every table.

I'd honestly walk out before I sat down if I saw that.

[Anonymous No.3996284]

>>3996280
so basically 90% of pho places

[Anonymous No.3996295]

Use the word "homemade" in the menu.

Descriptions for the exotic foods from other cultures use words in their languages (even for things like beef). Does not explain them.

Never bother to teach the waitstaff what's on the menu. All that matters is that they can write it down

[Anonymous No.3996302]

>>3996284
I don't live in a shithole where that garbage is considered fashionable.

[Anonymous No.3996304]

Chocolate fountain

[Anonymous No.3996305]

>>3996112
It already exists. I couldn't do worse than this:

[Anonymous No.3996306]

>>3996302
If you don't live in a place where Vietnamese food is popular, you must be in some shit flyover state.

Sorry bro :(

[Anonymous No.3996319]

... What's wrong with cake pops?

[Anonymous No.3996322]

>>3996284
>implying the restaurant we're creating in this thread is a pho place

Viet cuisine doesn't count, they actually use sriracha when they cook, and not to cover up everything.

[Anonymous No.3996366]

Flank steak - well done (only option) with a side of catsup.

[Anonymous No.3997226]

bump

[Anonymous No.3997242]

>>3996150
>fried unagi with gyoza chips
>2 paragraph insert on the history of fish n' chips

[Anonymous No.3997276]

Labeling obvious gluten free foods as gluten free:
"Gluten Free steamed vegetables!"
Gluten Free steak!"

[Anonymous No.3997288]

A gluten-free, raw foods restaurant.

There, I win. This thread is over now.

[Anonymous No.3997289]

>>3997276

Garden Salad (v)

(v)

(v)

REALLY?

[Anonymous No.3997292]

Kids 12 and under eat free.
10% discount for families.
Hockey night.
Veterans eat AND drink free.
Military people, both current and former, get to eat and drink free.
20% discount for members of the Police, Paramedics, and Firefighters
10% discount for members of the Scouts
10% discount to African-American customers on February

This business model would make for the worst restaurant ever.

[Anonymous No.3997298]

[Anonymous No.3997301]

>>3996305
>http://guysamerican.com/menu/
>That menu
>Italian nachos

NO! I want Nachos, i don't want some disgusting fusion of italian sausage and nachos,

[Anonymous No.3997303]

steamed (boiled?) vegetables

[Anonymous No.3997305]

>>3996150
Tempura scampi sounds good...

[Anonymous No.3997309]

make your own sushi bar

it's like a make your own salad bar, but with raw fish that's been sitting out on cooling trays for hours on end

[Anonymous No.3997311]

>>3997292
>Veterans eat AND drink free
>implying they'd ever leave

[Anonymous No.3997312]

a create your own sogwich bar

[Anonymous No.3997317]

>>3997309
>oh boy, I'm going to make my own poisonous blowfish roll!

[Anonymous No.3997326]

>>3996143

Oh god the horros

I remember eating at a soul-food buffet down in Florida once and I swear there must have been no kind of salt added to any of the food.
Do you know how nightmarish bland soul-food is? The chicken-fried steaks tasted like gritty soggy tofu slathered in a tasteless mix of flour and water.

[Anonymous No.3997330]

>>3997317
>implying any low-to-mid tier Japanese restaurant in North America would serve fugu.
Hell, I don't even think some high-tier places serve fugu.

[Anonymous No.3997340]

>enormous wine menu
>all the wine has been improperly stored
>little pieces of cork rot in all the wine

[Anonymous No.3997354]

>>3997298
>golden corral
>mfw

[Anonymous No.3997658]

>>3996145
Yes the worst restaurant ever already exists OP

>paying to make your own food

[Anonymous No.3997713]

Pasta sandwiches.
Snoodles.
Spaghetti sub,
Baked Ziti on rye.
etc.

The catch is, that everything we'd make would be delicious when you're stoned/drunk.

[Anonymous No.3997717]

I havent read anything about this thread but "haggis trio" seems to fit the idea

[Anonymous No.3997730]

>>3997354
That plate shows the personality of the fucker who assembled it. I usually have 2 to 3 nicely arranged plates, myself. Just a few things. You think that represents everyone who goes there? Heh, wrong, fatass.

[Anonymous No.3997735]

>>3996112
What's wrong with cake pops? I love cake pops.

[Anonymous No.3997736]

>>3997730

implying it not some kid who doesnt care about what he puts on the plate for his minimum wage

[Anonymous No.3997882]

Cupcakes as the only item being sold.....oh wait......

[Anonymous No.3997887]

>>3997730

>Heh

Gtfo.

[Anonymous No.3997896]

>>3997289

You'd be surprised how many places actually use a bit of stock in their salad dressing.

[Anonymous No.3997997]

Full bar. No liquor license.

Vegan steak house.

Complimentary gluten free dinner rolls with synthetic "butter".

Special of the day: Lettuce with a side of disappointing.

[Anonymous No.3998009]

>>3996112
>
There's a place near me that does donuts, burgers, chinese food and fried chicken.
I've had the donuts, they're fine as far as donuts go. The chinese food is horrible though. I have yet to try the fried chicken or burgers, but I'm morbidly curiously.

[Anonymous No.3998065]

>>3996165
Moar please. This is gold.

[Anonymous No.3998107]

>>3997354

FFFFFFUUUUUUU GC, that is by far the worst restaurant (if you can even call it that) in the world.

[Anonymous No.3998115]

Someone orders a salad?

It's 5 full pieces of lettuce with a tiny drizzle of olive oil and vinegar and a handful of dried cranberries, walnuts and swiss cheese on top.

Serve it to them with a fork and no knife. Offer pepper to top it with.

[Anonymous No.3998380]

>>3998009

I have one of those too except they just do cookie-cutter chinese and burgers/pizzas/grinders since they bought out the pizzeria next to them.

It's all pretty, well, predictable.

[Anonymous No.3998442]

>>3996306

Vietnamese food is only really super popular on the west coast you braindead Californian.

[Anonymous No.3998455]

"Mexican-inspired" = Throwing some cilantro and corn in there and calling it a day.

[Anonymous No.3998495]

>>3996135
>>3996146
they did this already
http://nymag.com/listings/restaurant/ike01/
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/199866

[sage No.3998498]

>>3998495

Yea, but they tried to do it all upitty and apparently failed; they should have gone with the real deal in the cancer box.

[Anonymous No.3998531]

>>3998442
>Implying that anywhere else in the country matters.

Stick to fucking sheep and shucking corn, jethro.

[Anonymous No.3998538]

>>3998531

>dat Californian superiority complex

[Anonymous No.3998576]

>>3998531
lol, have fun with your state bankruptcy and liberal shithole

[Anonymous No.3998582]

>>3998531
God damn, some of you California people are more ignorant than the French.

[Anonymous No.3998593]

I wanted to show my Japanese friend a bit of American cuisine. So we went to Faggot Frank's Subs. We got settled and ordered the 6 inch hard ons and sirens went off, apparently we were the 1,000th customer. Boy was she was in for a treat. Two guys came out with fake subs wrapped around their cock, pushing them in our face. I don't know if you've ever smelled Japanese puke but their diet is obscene. She had to be restrained. I looked to my right and saw the most haunting silhouette of my fucking life. It was fucking faggot frank himself. He was wearing a hotdog costume and they don't even sell hotdogs there. This was fucking heaven.

[Anonymous No.3998597]

>Steaks served with steak sauce already on them.

[Anonymous No.3998605]

I would own a burger joint.

>Would plaster the inside of my restaurant with exclamations of how good the food is on red signs
>Would offer free stale peanuts while customers waited for their order
>Wouldn't cook patties to medium or medium-rare, or even medium-well, would always cook to well done but mislead customers with more signs that say 'all our burgers are cooked to a juicy well done'
- would offer a multitude of toppings for our shitty burgers that come straight out of a metal can that we ladle on your bun
- would charge 10 dollars for our burgers, fries are a la carte

[Anonymous No.3998611]

>>3997354
reported

[Anonymous No.3998612]

I would own a burger joint.

>Would plaster the inside of my restaurant with exclamations of how good the food is on red signs
>Would offer free stale peanuts while customers waited for their order
>Wouldn't cook patties to medium or medium-rare, or even medium-well, would always cook to well done but mislead customers with more signs that say 'all our burgers are cooked to a juicy well done'
>Would offer a multitude of toppings for our shitty burgers that come straight out of a metal can that we ladle on your bun
>Would charge 10 dollars for our burgers, fries are a la carte

[Anonymous No.3998613]

>>3998611
REPORTED FOR REPORTING THE REPORT.

[Anonymous No.3998617]

>>3998612
what is five guys

[Anonymous No.3998618]

>>3998597

[Anonymous No.3998625]

>>3997713
Theres a restaurant in Naples, FL for stoners. I dont remember the name, bit it had a ton of crazy combination for people who were high.

[Anonymous No.3998634]

>>3998617
I love you both. I heard the hype, tried it, and was like "Oh, you mean it's shittier than the bar burger i can get in half the time for half as much, with fries...fuck, people are stupi".

[Anonymous No.3998639]

>>3998634
i was disappointed, really. tons of hype, "better than in-n-out" and honestly i wanted it to be better than in-n-out cuz the last local joint that had a better burger has been out of business for two years
nope
it was shit
back to my never ending search for the perfect burg

[Anonymous No.3998652]

>>3996112
You sit on the floor, in the dark, you can't see anyone else in the restaurant

no tables or utensils

food is placed on the floor for you to eat

bowls dug into the floor

sawdust is on the floor

black tie dress code

waiters only talk in whispers

1980's House music is always playing just a little to quietly for you to figure out what you're listening to

waiter are supposed to always touch your back as they walk by you

food takes 45 minutes to be served

cash only

[Anonymous No.3998657]

>>3998639
>>3998634
It tastes like Fat Burger, I have no idea why anyone would ever compare to In-N-Out.

[Anonymous No.3998658]

>>3998639
I've had good luck with bars. Most of 'em figured out that good food for a good price keeps butts in seats with drinks in their hands for extended stays. It may be different around you, however.

[Anonymous No.3998661]

>>3998652
how about:
you're locked into a cage too narrow to turn around in
delicious food is pumped into a trough in front of you
you can't leave until you're physically unable to eat anymore

the real veal

and then they slaughter you and serve you to the next group of diners

[Anonymous No.3998663]

>>3998657
Honestly, to me it tasted like spruced up McDonalds. Seriously, AMERICAN "CHEEZE" doesn't belong on a good burger, you cheap assholes.

[Anonymous No.3998668]

>>3998658
eh
i live in the burbs of greater la
in san berdu county actually
don't recommend it at all
there's a great fukken bar like 30 minutes away with good food and tons of micros
serious hipster shit
gets crowded and service kind of sucks but SO TASTY
but my only vehicle is a motorcycle and it's getting cold
in the ass end of our admittedly pathetic winter it's still cold enough that i just want to wrap up in a blanket and truck on down to a local joint, meet the homies and grab a burg
guess i gotta face facts: san berdu sucks balls and it's time to move into LA proper

[Anonymous No.3998670]

>family style seating
>gimmicky rude/sassy/embarrassing waitstaff
>"is pepsi okay?"

[p !P3141593qY No.3998672]

every dish name is at least 10 words
waiters insult you and never bring the drinks
loud music
plastic tables
obligatory tip
they don't take credit cards

[Anonymous No.3998681]

>>3998668
I'm sorry to hear that. I just laugh at the hipsters, and the keeps join in and comp drinks (Trust fund kids tend to be allergic to tipping, apparently) Frankly, you should just get the hell out of southern california. I can't tell ya to move here (they'll revoke my citizenship if I do), but why not move to a place that's less expensive and not full of assholes? Just sayin'...

[Anonymous No.3998684]

>>3998661
Still at it, eh moonflower? All that brain damage from a lack of meat is showing, do you guys just not have any concept of subtlety or restraint?

[Anonymous No.3998686]

>>3998672
So any restaurant in NY, ever, basically?

[Anonymous No.3998691]

>/v/: The Restaurant

>The table, chairs, utensils, plates, glasses, ect all require an additional fee to use.
>The menu has no food, just facts about restaurant
>The waitstaff hang around in a group talking loudly and take people's orders every once and a while.
>Waitstaff mock every choice you make
>Chef will ignore any special requests
>Chef will ignore ticket completely
>Chef just makes you whatever he wants to
>Complaining will result in you being called entitled and kicked out
>All condiments are in a locked cabinet on table, have to insert a coin coin to use them
>They have a time restriction on how much you use
>Kids are constantly around screaming. It isn't clear where they came from or where their parents are.

[Anonymous No.3998692]

>>3998681
you'd probably think i was a hipster cuz i dress like a weirdo and usually look blissfully stoned even when i'm stone cold sober
anyway socal is p. nice but i'm considering a move to NYC for my career path
or europe. but i KNOW they aint got tasty burgs in europe

[Anonymous No.3998698]

Le Reddit Cafe

Bacon is overused in everything. The menu is just copied from other, better restaurants, but they manage to make everything worse.

[Anonymous No.3998700]

>>3998670
what is Dick's Last Resort

[Anonymous No.3998701]

>>3998692
Yeah. That's one of the reasons I'm hesitant moving there.

[Anonymous No.3998709]

>>3996280

I bought some Sriracha because I thought I was supposed to like it.

I've barely touched the stuff. I hate it.

[p !P3141593qY No.3998712]

>>3998686
I feel sorry for newyorkers then

[Anonymous No.3998713]

>>3998692
Son, i'm from Portland. i know what a fucking hipster is. Weed's too mainstream for them, they're about DMT, molly, and heroin. Not even joking. Good luck with NYC, it's a make or break kinda place. As with anything else, attitude will make the difference...as for europe: HOW ABOUT SOME SPECIFICITY, EINSTEIN?

[Anonymous No.3998728]

>>3998713
want to try DMT. only psych i've had is mushrooms, both psilocybin and fly muscaria or amanita or w/e.

aaaanyway for my career path the big centers are paris, milan, berlin, and potentially london, but not likely cuz the scene is a bit different to what i'm doing - brooding, dark, moody, niche fashion for peeps what want to be fab but get left out by mainstream design
i'm sure there's plenty of american ex-pats in those places but i ain't expectin to good a really nice burg
maybe some overpriced truffle burg shenanigans

[Anonymous No.3998735]

>>3998728
DMT is fun. There's no way around that. Not as fun as LSD or 2c-i, but it's a good time. I know very little about fashion, but have you considered vancouver canada? It's one of the best (objectively) cities in the world to live, and they have an incredible creative scene.

[Anonymous No.3998760]

>>3998735
I've always wanted to try DMT. I've done boomers and those are fun as hell. Can't imagine how great DMT is.

[Anonymous No.3998766]

>>3996175
>>3998612
Speaking of burgers, none should be served under 20cm in height.

[Anonymous No.3998777]

>>3998766
agreed, but don't forget the soggy buns. It's just not worth eating if it doesn't fall apart and dump shit everywhere as you try to figure out how to take a bite out of it.

[Anonymous No.3998781]

>>3998777
This needs to happen

[Anonymous No.3998791]

A restaurant where you pay someone to deepfry your anything.

Oh wait...

That already exists.

It's called the Park Slope Chip Shop. Fucking disgusting.

[Anonymous No.3998804]

>>3998766
A tomato slices are 1/2" thick. A minimum of 3 come on every burger. They are mushing and the inside is that sick greenish colour.

[Anonymous No.3998806]

>>3998698
I have bad news for you.

http://www.leshotbar.at/

[Anonymous No.3998821]

>>3996143
I never use salt for anything unless it's needed, like steak. Once you don't use it, you don't miss it. esides, there's plenty of salt in other things so you don't really need to add more.

[Anonymous No.3998823]

Make sure all the menu items have names that make you feel like a retard when ordering
> i will have the gozanga-tits burger and my guest would like the try a she-man sandwich with a side of hero-fries and funnysauce

And its not a bad restaurant unless there is a large display of tshirts and other goofy shit for sale at the hosts station.

[Anonymous No.3998825]

post modern cuisine
inspired by john cage's 4'3"
you come in, and are seated
after a time has passed plates without food are brought out for you. a waiter brings wine glasses and pours nothing into them. a while later the plates are removed and the dessert plates, still empty, are placed in front of you. a while later a blank bill is placed on the table and you leave an amount of money. then you leave.

it is the very essence of the dining experience, dining in and of itself. the concept of dining. stripped of its food.
it is resoundingly too deep for you.

[Anonymous No.3998847]

>>3998825
>Pay to not get food
>Too deep.
Damn Philosophy majors and their undeniable logic.

[Anonymous No.3998851]

>>3998825
Take all of my money, now please. But is it okay if it's in Zimbabwean dollars? US currency is just so lamestream.

[Anonymous No.3998867]

>>3998851
you can pay in whatever you would like, as long as it is technically currency. foreign people trying to buy shit with their monopoly money is part of the dining experience, definitely.

if you can't pay you will be made to clean the dishes without water or soap. there will be no sink, only a post-sink; that is, that which evolves out of the concept of "sink".

[KyaDash !kDashing02 No.3998869]

>>3998691

[Anonymous No.3998871]

>>3998825
>no talking aloud
>waiters are dressed like the guy with the giant metal wang from that art house play thing where everybody is in bondage gear

[Anonymous No.3998875]

>>3998871
no, you don't get it
it's the dining experience stripped of the distraction of food
you don't really go for the food when you dine out, you go for the atmosphere, the presentation, and the social interaction

are you even familiar with 4'33"?

[Anonymous No.3998879]

How about an artisan rustic fusion cafe in an old converted train car with local artwork hanging everywhere put up by hipsters.

2deep4u

[Anonymous No.3998881]

>>3996122
Blanda Upp menu.

[Anonymous No.3998887]

>>3998691

[Anonymous No.3998893]

>>3998791
nigga don't be knockin the chipshop I've been loving their cod & chips since I was 10 years old.
Their steak & kidney pie is awesome too, as is their mac and cheese.

All the deep fried everything is retarded an disgusting, though.

[Anonymous No.3998897]

>>3998825
me and a friend have been discussing this and we've expanded the concept a little

there will be a dress code with nothing written on it
the menu will be blank, but will have prices, so you choose whether or not to splurge on your date
if you don't, she will be instructed to not have sex with you

[Anonymous No.3998964]

The Franch Ranch.

Our highly trained chefs will create exquisite meals, using only the freshest ingredients and serve them with Kraft French and Kraft Ranch dressing slathered lovingly all over them. You never have the option to "hold the Franch", but "double franch" will get you 50% off your meal if you finish the entire thing. Dessert is served as well (with the obligatory "Franch ala Mode". All beverages served will be garnished with frozen Franch cubes and a fancy paper umbrella, assortment of exotic fruits on picks, and plastic pirate swords.

Franargarita Fridays promotes the restaurant with buy one, get one free premium top shelf Franch flavored margaritas (your choice frozen or on the rocks) with the purchase of a large Franchos or festive Franchilada platter.
Book your meetings or children's birthday parties in the Franchidential Room for a unique and fun filled Franch Ranch twist to any occasion.

Join the Franch Revolution! Now seeking FRANCHisees!

[Anonymous No.3999176]

>>3998652
lol

[Anonymous No.3999178]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3bd4R1TqJU

[Anonymous No.3999182]

>>I never use salt for anything unless it's needed

what part of "never salt anything" did you not understand?

[Anonymous No.3999183]

>>3998806
Oh fuck everything.

[Anonymous No.3999188]

>>3998668
>>sb county

christ, I'm so sorry man. I don't have as big a fucking hard-on for LA as some, but I'd still say move there, it's honestly one of the better cities on the west coast (For Amurrica, I'd only put SF ahead of it, really, Portland and Seattle are sad-ass places that actually fulfill more of the negative stereotypes that people have about LA than LA itself does. Vancouver is a god-tier city, would probably live there if I weren't still an Amerifag in Amerischool)

[Anonymous No.3999221]

Welcome to Stanley's Suppers, the finest establishment this side of the Cuyahoga river.

Our award-winning waitstaff will assist you in their signature attire of suspenders and wearable trash bags! Don't be afraid to honk their brown clown noses either, we pride ourselves in providing both fun and satisfying, home-cooked meals!

Our menu features exciting variations on contemporary American cuisine such as our signature Double-Decker 5 Meat Golden Rodeo Ketchup Pie, our Saucy American-Cheese Salted Summer Sundae, and our Special Spaghetti Stuffed Sausage Doo-daddys. And save room for dessert! Our restaurant has a 24 hour bakery serving up double orders of Brown Hair Dickies and Naughty Daniel Churd Slices.

All of our food is cooked-to-order by our head chef, Sandra Lee, and served in environmentally friendly artisan mud cups. We believe in selecting only the finest quality in-season ingredients from Cleveland's oldest and most respectful farmers market, the world-reknowned Cleveland Sewers.

Our restaurant has been pain-stakingly wallpapered with the discarded Kraft Single wrappers of a million Cleveland residents. We believe in protecting the environment! Be sure to visit our gift shop as well, where we sell aged Black & Mild Cigars, slightly damp 'Stanley Suppers' Jerseys, and organic, grass-fed clumps of Cleveland sod.

[Anonymous No.3999277]

>>3998593

[Anonymous No.3999426]

>>3999188
Yes! Tell your friends! Tell their friends! The PNW sucks! Don't move here! Everything is terrible.

[Anonymous No.3999441]

Chez MRE

[Anonymous No.3999478]

>>3999188Portland and Seattle are sad-ass places that actually fulfill more of the negative stereotypes that people have about LA than LA itself does

such as? genuinely curious