>Make eggnog frequently during summer >Stop for a few weeks >Make it again yesterday >Tastes like shit >Wondering why all day >Mfw I just realized I didn't put any sugar in it God damn I'm stupid.

File: 29 KB, 235x274, Edgar Alex Poe reading.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 00:54:24 2012 No.3848435 [Reply] [Original]

>Make eggnog frequently during summer
>Stop for a few weeks
>Make it again yesterday
>Tastes like shit
>Wondering why all day
>Mfw I just realized I didn't put any sugar in it

God damn I'm stupid.

>>	Ulillillia !Rr3sC4nvZI Mon Sep 3 01:11:44 2012 No.3848458 Can this be a cooking fuckup thread? >put the cereal in the fridge >put the milk in the cupboard

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 01:22:49 2012 No.3848476 Pls post eggnog recipe. Raw eggs?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 01:27:48 2012 No.3848487 Put cherry kool-aid in milk. Thot it was strawberry Quick. Start drinking; spew. Yeah I'm a pleb.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 02:03:04 2012 No.3848522
File: 195 KB, 1280x718, 8220 - aioi_yuuko naganohara_mio nichijou reaction_image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>make cake from scratch
>cake comes out nasty
>wonder why
>spot the butter that's still on the table
>why in heavens name have i forgotten to put in the butter
>mfw i've done this multiple times

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 02:07:03 2012 No.3848526 >peel skin from cucumber >set skins aside >julienne cucumber > put skins in sink >put cucumber in garbage Uhh beavis, what are you doing?

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 02:08:03 2012 No.3848530
File: 333 KB, 557x361, 1328929812167.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>making chocolate cupcakes
>recipe requires baking soda
>look around for some
>see open box of baking soda in fridge
>it smells a bit funky, but oh well
>maybe it'll go away once it's baked
>bake cupcakes
>done, taste one
>oh god I was horribly wrong

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 02:13:07 2012 No.3848537

>making apple cinnamon cookies for first time
>wow this batter is really thick and sticky
>oh well, must be them apples
>put in oven
>check recipe to see how long it'll take
>see 1 egg
>look at counter to see lone egg
>whoops
>cookies partially cook on outside
>raw on inside
>since no egg, it was ok to eat
>godly half-baked cookie dough cookies

everythingwentbetterthanexpected

tacocat Mon Sep 3 02:19:08 2012 No.3848547

>making no knead bread dough
>i'll make one big ass loaf on my pizza stone!
>let dough rise for 3 hours to get extra fluffy
>manhole cover made of bread dough
>it didn't rise, only got wider
>try to slide it in the oven
>rubber grip feet on the cutting board melt onto the stone
>awful smell
>get distracted and overcook it by 25 minutes

2 inches thick, 20 inches in diameter of tough bread that was slightly dry. There were no sandwiches on home made bread that week.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 02:57:16 2012 No.3848597 >add dry ingredients and wet ingredients to the same bowl while baking I'M BREAKING ALL THE RULES AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN STOP ME

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 03:00:15 2012 No.3848599

>>3848458
>be half-asleep
>wander downstairs
>pull out a cup and a bowl
>fill bowl with cereal
>Ah-hah, catch myself before I put the cereal in the fridge
>pour myself a cup of milk
>fill my bowl full of cereal full of orange juice

Fruit Loops with orange juice isn't all that bad actually.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 03:01:15 2012 No.3848600 >making pasta >set coriander next to sink >grab pot from the stove >throw pasta into sink Fucking moron. I let out an extremely loud "NYAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH".

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 03:03:15 2012 No.3848602 >making pasta >set colander next to sink >grab pot from the stove >throw pasta into sink Fucking moron. I let out an extremely loud "NYAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH".

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 03:18:22 2012 No.3848620 [DELETED]

File: 145 KB, 1024x768, 1314898457122.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be beta as fuck
>finally work up nerve to talk to hot girl
>easy 9/10
>mentions she loves a guy who can cook
>I stammer something about being a boss in the kitchen
>she agrees to come to my place for dinner
>panic
>try to make beef wellington
>have some shots to calm my nerves
>start cooking, going well
>more shots (ok sqwing off bottle)
>feeling like a boss
>into the over, set timer
>check /ck/ and school some casuals
>10 minutes left on timer and check fridge for a beer
>see steak
>see the fucking steak in the fridge
>I used a pork loin instead of the steak
>ihavenoideawhatimdoing.jpg and drunk now
>doorbell rings
>girl says it smells good, when's dinner?
>timer goes off
>she watches me take my pork loin wellington out
>"omg are those cherrios?"
>I rolled the pork loin in fucking cheerios when I was drunk
>forever a pleb
>girl starts crying
>I try to hug her and she shoves me
>I land on my ass
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>sauce everywhere
>I try to satnd up but slip in marinara
>hard face plant
>girl officially flips shit now screaming and crying
>she bolts for the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 04:13:25 2012 No.3848660 >>3848620 This isn't /b/.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 04:28:28 2012 No.3848668 OP, I wanna make this recipe, but without the alcohol, will it be fine if I just put everything besides bourbon in? http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/eggnog-recipe2/index.html

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 05:11:11 2012 No.3848695

>Making garlic bread at girlfriend's house
>put in oven
>stand next to the fucker because I burnt the last one
>STAY next to it because I don't want to set the fire alarm off
>again
>"It's almost done, maybe a minute or two more"
>Check back
>Smoke rolls out of oven
>Fire alarm goes off
MOTHER FUCKER

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 06:41:24 2012 No.3848737
File: 232 KB, 1280x850, 18RN4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>3848602
Oh god I know that feel. Hilarious, but painful. Here's the most stupid thing I've done:

>make burgers
>have frozen patties
>put way too much oil in pan
>for some reason I felt like literally throwing the solid frozen patties into the pan
>a pan full of boiling oil
>boiling oil is now covering my arms
>couldn't sleep for two days due to having to put new ice-bags on arms
>blisters everywhere
>oh god the pain of burning arms

In hindsight I've many times questioned my actions. 6 months later and my arms are still full of red spots. I look like a beige-red leopard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 06:47:24 2012 No.3848740 >making chicken stock >place colander over sink to catch the carcasses and vegetables >pour contents into colander >perfect stock down the sinkhole FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 06:56:27 2012 No.3848750

>>3848737
for future reference, when you get boiling oil on your body/somehow get burned, you're supposed to hop into a cool (Read; NOT COLD) shower for 15-20mins. It will save you the leopard look most times.
Longer if it's something like setting your arm on fire with lighter fluid while wearing a fleece sweatshirt... Or getting pasta water on you.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 07:03:29 2012 No.3848754

>3 am drunk stoned velveeta shells
>pasta done to perfection
>squeeze in cheese sauce
>"wow this looks really watery"
>skipped that important step where you drain it
>manage to scoop out most of sauce
>proceed as usual
>add queso with chilies to make up for lost sauce
>everything went better than expected

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 07:12:32 2012 No.3848758 >>3848750 yeah I did. Held my arms under running water for 20 min or so. I guess it could have been a lot worse by now if I hadn't. I just needed ice a few hours later to ease the pain.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 09:07:46 2012 No.3848826

>>3848750
To me, cooling is not as important as applying ointment as quickly as possible. Read within the first tenths of seconds. In the kitchen, (cool) butter and oil are available immediately. It hurts a little but this saved me many cooking blisters.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 09:11:47 2012 No.3848828 File: 279 KB, 462x346, accident.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3848737 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llQL9RM_KOo sounds like a terrible "accident"

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 09:41:47 2012 No.3848849 >>3848754 I was going to post this, except mine was unsalvageable.

>>	Polite sage for post unrelated to food and cooking. Anonymous Mon Sep 3 09:43:50 2012 No.3848851 >>3848828 I love that commercial and the next one, but all the other PSAs after that were terrible. Cheesy. That first one is powerful and frightening. Fear is a really big motivator.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 11:42:59 2012 No.3848990

>make my own peanut butter
>add butter for consistency, because no peanut oil
>Don't refrigerate
>It's great the first day
>Kinda sour on the second day, can't figure out why
>Make myself a PB&J sandwich the next day
>Take a huge bite
>Spit everywhere
>Never again

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 12:41:08 2012 No.3849109 >>3848740 THIS is what I'm afraid of doing

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 12:44:08 2012 No.3849116
File: 46 KB, 500x374, form med spänne.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Making carrot cake because a couple of friends will come over
>Making it in a baking form like this, the kind that you snap shut
>Except I don't snap it shut
>All the butter runs through the gap onto the oven floor, while the rest of the batter stays in the form
>The smell of the burning butter is HORRIBLE
>Guests arrive
>Kitchen smells like shit, I have to spend a good thirty minutes cleaning the oven and the carrot cake is stale as fuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 12:49:08 2012 No.3849121 >drunk making lemon cheesecake >hey wouldn't it be a great idea to use sour cream instead >nothingcangowrong >hey instead of lemon zest and juice why don't I use orange juice >ogod what have I done >all the regrets

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 13:11:42 2012 No.3849163 File: 10 KB, 225x261, 1327096310901.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3848740 my sides

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 13:26:45 2012 No.3849181

>neighbors just had a baby
>don't really know them, but figure I'll be nice & make them food
>who doesn't like meatloaf and mac'n'cheese?
>and it'll be just as easy to make some for them and some for my wife and me
>so get double of everything at the store
>except not so much
>actually get quadruple the meat, on account of me being a moron
>"Why is this taking so long to cook?"
>end up with meat logs with the density of cinder blocks

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 13:40:48 2012 No.3849211 >>3848750 You actually just want to bring the burned area back to body temperature as fast as possible; and then try and keep it there for some time. Just don't let it stay too hot or it'll actually cause damage.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:00:14 2012 No.3849246 >sister gave me several cans of evaporated milk >lol let's make dulce de leche

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:03:14 2012 No.3849252

>Luncheon at work
>Decide to grill some fajitas
>Setup grill on roof of store (glorious and apparently illegal)
>Start fire, fire is buffeted by wind
>Close bottom vents
>Fire gets to burning down
>Close lid
>Come back and open up lid
>Oh GOD! Massive fireball
>Lost all hair on my arms and partial loss of eyebrows
>Friend get to laugh at my dumb ass

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:16:17 2012 No.3849282 >>3848602 >put pasta in bowl >put bowl in microwave >smoke alarm goes off >forgot to put water in bowl >bowl melted >inhale fumes >microwave ruined >order pizza instead

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:20:17 2012 No.3849292 >>3849121 I don't think you can blame that level of stupid on being drunk

>>	None !ddB8dxMZ/s Mon Sep 3 14:33:20 2012 No.3849312 >making popcorn >forget to take off plastic wrap

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:47:20 2012 No.3849339
File: 23 KB, 232x197, 1343662285665.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>try one of those recipes I saw here to make microwave brownies in a mug
>ended up tasting atrocious, almost threw up
>thought it must have been a troll recipe
>1 week later
>realized I used cinnamon instead of cocoa powder
God damn

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:50:30 2012 No.3849345
File: 67 KB, 749x610, brownie in a mug.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>3849339
now I'm reminded...

should I give it a go? I've been having a lot of bad luck with cooking recently, don't want to strike out again...

Someone, sacrifice yourself. It'll be for science!

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:54:29 2012 No.3849354 >>3849345 I've done it. They LOOK terrible but they taste perfectly fine.

Anonymous Mon Sep 3 14:55:29 2012 No.3849356
File: 525 KB, 781x1003, 1312476874173.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>3849345
shit done in the microwave always ends up dry for me, so I used instant chocolate pudding mix instead of cocoa powder, shit is ridiculously cash. here is the recipe I used instead

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 15:04:29 2012 No.3849379 >>3849246 ._. go on...

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 16:05:35 2012 No.3849531 >>3849379 dulce de leche is supposed to be made with CONDENSED milk, not evaporated

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 16:06:35 2012 No.3849536 >>3849531 Oh, right. I'll just show myself out.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 16:13:42 2012 No.3849560 >>3849356 To get around the dryness I genreally give it a core - Push some peanut butter or nutella or something in the middle of it before you microwave. It is fantastic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 3 16:20:42 2012 No.3849580 >Edgar Alex Poe reading.jpg >mfw

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking