/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.3806392]

Here is a grilled cheese story

>At friends beach house
>It's around noon
>Just got back from ocean, a day of surfing, nice waves
>While watching TV, both of us hungry
>He offers too make grilled cheese, claims he has great grilled cheese.
>I say okay, grilled cheese is like pizza right? No such thing as bad grilled cheese
>He makes it, slow cooks it, takes 30 mins for each sandwich
>I eat it
>Meh, I've had worse
>It used no spices, just butter, honey wheat, and american cheese
>Offer to make grilled cheese's for lunch tommorow
>Say mine is better
>Go to store that night
>Pick up white bread, black pepper, Land of Lakes butter with canola oil, and a big pack of Monterrey Jack cheese
>Next Day

>After surfing we come back for lunch
>I start by setting stove to high
>Prepare bread
>Melt butter in pan
>Sprinkle pan with hint of black pepper
>Sprinkle bread with butter and black pepper
>Put 3 slices of Monterrey Jack cheese on bread (It was long bread
>Now that the black pepper has set into the melted butter, put a hint of olive oil in the butter
>Put the sandwich on the pan
>Cookin time
>1 minute on each side until golden brown
>Serve on plate with pickle
>Add a hint of lemon
>Give it too him
>He cries it's so good

Anyone else have similar stories?

[Anonymous No.3806398]

>friends set me up with a chick for one night stand on sort of a blind date thing
>she comes to my house
>I recognize her, seen her in some of my classes but never really talked to her
>we hit it off
>we're both sitting on my couch, laughing and having a good time
>we start inching closer and getting a little physical
>I'm eating cheetos with one hand and have my arm around her with the other
>out of nowhere, she grabs my cheeto hand and shoves it down the front of her pants
>I still have a cheeto clenched in my hand, but she doesn't notice because she has her eyes closed and she's looking in the air
>"just work your magic anon, I've never been with a guy before"
>I've never even touched a woman before this point but I don't say anything
>I start rubbing her clit with my finger like /fit/ said to do
>she moans, she says she wants to remember this night forever
>"put a finger in there too, anon, I think I love you already"
>my brain has entirely become spaghetti
>I take the cheeto that was in my hand and slowly start to move it into her vagina to use as a dildo
>she beings moaning but then stops mid moan and looks at me
>she pulls my hand out of her ants and sees the cheeto just lying there in her panties
>she screams "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK?! YOUR FRIENDS WERE RIGHT! YOU ARE A WEIRD ONE!"
>I feel like I've transcended into an ethereal realm of awkwardness
>I mutter "I'm d-daaangerously cheey!"
>she says "UGH" and runs out my front door
>she never tells anyone because she's so embarrassed
>I never date again
>friends forever mock me...

[Anonymous No.3806403]

>>3806398
I lol'd
>>3806392
OP thank you for god tier recipe

[Anonymous No.3806405]

You're bragging about making better grilled cheese than someone

It's grilled cheese not really impressive how you make it

[Anonymous No.3806408]

>>3806405
Lel

[Anonymous No.3806411]

>>3806405
I think OP told the story more for the friend's reaction than anything.

[Anonymous No.3806415]

>>3806398
We got an APB out for my sides, last seen ITT.

[Anonymous No.3806416]

>Anon makes a normal grilled cheese
>Op makes a slightly improved grilled cheese
>Op makes a long fucking post about how his shit sandwich is a little better than another slightly shittier sandwich.
>I read the entire post and frown.

Ya I have similar stories that are too boring to type out.

>>3806398
I was amused.

[Anonymous No.3806417]

I wish I knew that feel. I have a chef friend that I can never measure up to as far as cooking goes (everything he makes is fantastic, it's almost depressing to think about the shit I make compared to his food), and another friend who is extremely mediocre at cooking but thinks he's Jacques Pepin reincarnated, and refuses to listen to criticism. He always wants to cook too, or "help" when someone else is cooking, and then raves about how delicious his stuff is.

[Anonymous No.3806419]

>>3806405
You've never tried my manchego on crusty bread. Rub the inside of one slice with garlic and spread a little anchovy paste on the other side. Enough glutamate in there to last all fucking week.

[Anonymous No.3806420]

>>3806398
Oh you anons.....

[Anonymous No.3806423]

>>3806392
I think this is pretty similar

[Anonymous No.3806425]

>>3806417
We all have those friends, the best way to show em up is offer to make dinner for them, and make it before they arrive. Make steak tartar as an appetizer. Make some fancy type of beef or pork, whatever you can make better. for dessert, a beautiful cheesecake

Your friend now wants to improve

[Anonymous No.3806427]

>>3806398
>I'm d-daaangerously cheesy!

[Anonymous No.3806437]

>>3806425
>the best way to show em up is offer to make dinner for them, and make it before they arrive

Oh, I've done this before. He took one bite of my grilled chicken and said "This is good, but you HAVE to try mine!" and because I used to be a pussified doormat (with no faith in my own cooking abilities) I let him do it. He proceeded to burn the chicken to a crisp and then raved about how delicious it was. And steak tartare? Pfft, the last steak I ate with him was well-done sirloin drenched in hoisin sauce.

I've gotten better about judging my own cooking since then and absolutely will not let him use my kitchen any more. I love the guy like a brother, but he's culinarily retarded.

[Anonymous No.3806441]

>>3806437
I bet the beef wasn't even bought from a local meat shop

[Anonymous No.3806456]

>>3806441
Mock me all you want, but I spent most of my childhood thinking all steak was terrible because my grandmother used to burn it like my friend does. I don't care what he makes for himself, but he gives me shit for eating "raw and bloody" meat, so I think I have a right to complain.

[Anonymous No.3806477]

>>3806456
This.

All the steaks I had growing up were dry and tough as fuck because they were all cooked well done. I hated steak as a kid even though my family always acted like it was a luxury.

Learned to cook it medium rare as an adult, and it was like an orgasm in my mouth

[Anonymous No.3806479]

But the best grilled cheese use low heat thats low and slow to allow the cheese to melt completely and while staying emulsified. American cheese is usually one of the best because of emulsifiers in it. Other cheeses like cheddar and swiss sometimes separate into oils which while have great flavor but aren't ideal. Some cheeses that don't separate as easily and don't get clumpy like mozzarella or jarlsberg are gruyere and comte. Of course you can combine a few cheeses to balance out their weaknesses.

[Anonymous No.3806486]

>>3806479
Provolone and Monterrey Jack are great equals

Plus cooking it on high helps it not seperate

[Anonymous No.3806502]

so what cheese is god tier for grilled cheese? need DEM RECIPES

[Anonymous No.3806506]

>>3806502
It's all about what spices you like.

If you like bland spices, go with an American cheese or a swiss and provolone mix

No spice
American and butter

Tangy
Monterrey Jack with pepper
(mix with provolone for more smooth taste)

[Anonymous No.3806513]

>>3806502
Red Leicester
Gruyere dipped in French onion soup

[Anonymous No.3806519]

>>3806513
This

>>3806506
you're such a fucking huehue

[Anonymous No.3806521]

>>3806392
>Sprinkle bread with butter and black pepper
>Sprinkle bread with butter
>Sprinkle butter
>Sprinkle
>Butter

[Anonymous No.3806531]

Sourdough with fire roasted green chiles and some good deli meat is awesome. Depending on the tomato, that can work too. They might need a little cooking beforehand to make them sweet/get some water out.

[Anonymous No.3806533]

>>3806502
>>3806502

I only use veveeta
If you cook it low and slow and its gets all melty its so damn good

[Anonymous No.3806541]

>>3806392
You're like this bitch who tried to make a PB&J and then fucked it up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3HehLKqxsY

That's not a PB&J anymore but she jizzes all over herself because "OMG BEST INGREDIENTS"

[Anonymous No.3806558]

>>3806541
That is completely different. A PBJ is a PBJ. I grille cheese you can do a lot too, to make it taste good. It's taking something simple and making it better.

[Anonymous No.3806560]

>>3806437
Ask him to make an omelette
That'll show him, assuming he can't make one that is; they're deceptively easy.

[Anonymous No.3806557]

>>3806533
You disgust me.

Did you not get the part where velveeta is LITEREALLY NOT CHEESE?

[Anonymous No.3806563]

>>3806541
>curry
>basil
>sriracha

[Anonymous No.3806566]

>>3806557
You obviously did not get the part where velveeta and kraft singles melt to god-tier delicousness

[Anonymous No.3806573]

>>3806566
You obviously did not remember the part where Velveeta tastes like shit, and sliced cheese is better

[Anonymous No.3806588]

>>3806573
Still rebelling against your conformist parents eh?

[Anonymous No.3806646]

>>3806502
Longhorn style mild cheddar

youll thank me later

[Anonymous No.3806708]

>friend comes over
>we have a grilled cheese throwdown
>he's not used to my gas stove
>has always used margarine instead of butter so he burns it.

I think it also helps that I was interested in cooking for a living then.

[Anonymous No.3808281]

>cook friend grilled cheese but leave plastic on
>???
>profit