[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking


View post   

File: 1.10 MB, 1209x686, Plop.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19794246 No.19794246 [Reply] [Original]

In europe we open beer like this, we are no cry-babies.

>> No.19794264

>>19794246
In America we used our gigantic, musclebound hands to simply pull it open because we aren't faggy europoors.

>> No.19794312

Bitch I use my telekinetic powers to open beers.

>> No.19794314

>>19794246
i ask my wife's boyfriend to open it for me, since my soibot broke

>> No.19794317

In Eastern Europe (best Europe) we consume the entire bottle, cap included

>> No.19794341

I'm British and I saw this on the internet once so I tried doing it in real life, thinking I would impress the shit out of everyone. I ended up opening the top bottle and getting Coke all over my crotch.

>> No.19794362

>>19794246
You don't eat the cap?

>> No.19794672

what do you do when you only have one bottle left with the cap still on?

>> No.19794680
File: 22 KB, 550x309, heineken.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19794680

>>19794672

>> No.19794683

>>19794246
I use my foreskin

>> No.19794685

>>19794672
Visualise a ghost bottle and pop it against that one.

>> No.19794720

>>19794680
>put a chip in your table
that's why you should always stock bear

>> No.19794727

>>19794246
Dumb esl poster

>> No.19794728

>>19794720
You can use the beercase or your tooth aswell

>> No.19794738

>>19794246
I used to be able to open a beer with my teeth. No more. My dentist gets a lot of my money ( ._.)

>> No.19794749
File: 32 KB, 500x427, kwikset-83534-strike-dimentions-15__93110.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19794749

for me, its this door thing

>> No.19794752

my big toe nails are so thick i can crack open a bottle with em

>> No.19794779

Wrap the tail of your shirt around the cap and twist it off

>> No.19794817

>he can't open a bottle instantly with the back of a lighter or any other small plastic or metal surface using leverage

Cringe, imaging being that sissy that asks if anyone has a bottle opener

>> No.19794822
File: 192 KB, 800x574, 1589588582646.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19794822

>>19794246
in america we judge people by their skin color. not how they open a beer bottle

>> No.19794825

>>19794672
use your lighter

>> No.19794849

>>19794672
You dont. the whole purpose of bottle caps is so that you will never have less then one beer.

>> No.19794861

>>19794822
>Relax around niggers bro, just ignore all your experiences with them and give them all the benefit of the doubt, nothing will happen bro seriously otherwise you're a racist
"No"

>> No.19794871

>>19794822
I'm american and we do look like this and say this.

>> No.19794877

>>19794822
This, America was founded on not judging people by the contents of their beer opening abilities.

>> No.19794941

i keep a bottle opener on my keyring and there's nothing you can do about it

>> No.19795057
File: 144 KB, 1024x1280, 1697159549395.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795057

>>19794246
I just twist the cap and it comes off

>> No.19795091

>>19795057
literal piss

>> No.19795211

you're supposed to use the dull side of a knife. it's literally in the patents

>> No.19795241

>>19795091
you should be greatful. if Australians didnt drink gallons of the rest of the worlds bottled piss each hour, we would all be wading in human excretions ankle high.

>> No.19795251
File: 23 KB, 600x600, 34987.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795251

>>19795057
I just pull the tab

>> No.19795460
File: 18 KB, 700x700, xzlwckqryvm16gu7vcmr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795460

cant remember the last time i used anything else to open a beer

>> No.19795491
File: 113 KB, 1100x825, ap_17212674686502-1afd68c521fc36e742f9d5c5954bbb61dbf64950-s1100-c50.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795491

I use a ring.

>> No.19795500

>>19794822
Reminder America is for land-owning White men only and everyone else is just here to wash the shartstains out of our drawers

>> No.19795507

>>19795251
I'd rather suck and fuck Chuck than drink this piece of shit fucking beer

>> No.19795549

I used to just use the handle of my frying pan for all my bottles
It was better than any bottle opener I ever used

>> No.19795576
File: 501 KB, 612x393, Screenshot - 10_13_2023 , 12_33_07 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795576

I just use my seat belt buckle when I'm driving.

>> No.19795586

>>19794680
Heineken is a twist top you literal woman.

>> No.19795633

I simply use my mighty incisors to pry up the cap. Or I did when I still drank, please cut down anon.

>> No.19795677

>>19794264
Fun fact: American beers are deliberately closed in a manner that you can simply pull them open. Try that with European beer and you will die

>> No.19795698

Me open it with a newspaper. Learned that in the construction hut.

>> No.19795715

>>19794246
i use my carkeys if I dont have a tool like a civilized human being

its on the canopener

>> No.19795840
File: 152 KB, 1500x1120, 308142709.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795840

>>19794672
walk under 15 minutes while drunk in public to the store

>> No.19795919
File: 15 KB, 360x360, 1668138992673.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795919

I'm a little bitch so I open beers with this multi tool card thingy, literally the only thing I used on it is the bottle opener.

>> No.19795927

>>19795677
That's common knowledge, he was making a joke.

>> No.19795932
File: 829 KB, 3024x4032, ogxhgosy8e911.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795932

For me, it's simply pulling the tab.

>> No.19795933
File: 443 KB, 2160x3840, 8bhlhwkyrql71.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795933

>>19795932
>westyurocucks chip their furniture
>murrisharts paw at the cap like apes
>the enlightened man simply pulls the tab

>> No.19795977
File: 447 KB, 2560x2215, 1695208309275.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19795977

I just use the back of my belt buckle

>> No.19796027

i use my penis to open bottles

>> No.19796063

>>19795977
meow

>> No.19796084

>>19794246
I'm not a hobo, I only drink at home where I have a dedicated bottle opener or at bars.

>> No.19796092
File: 36 KB, 600x600, 100016_waldhaus-ohne-filter-5-liter-fass-partyfass-einweg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19796092

I don't need an opener.

>> No.19796135

>>19794246
In Europe you have gay sex with dudes

>> No.19796155

>>19796135
did you?

>> No.19796171

>>19796084
Well, isn't that nice.
>>19796155
Yeah, just a little, took the passive part.

>> No.19796172

>>19794246
had afriend try to brag to me saying he opens his beer with his phone and his screen instantly broke completely lol
you can do it with 2 thumbs, too

>> No.19796179

>>19795677
Fun fact: Europoors believe this to make up for their tiny flimsy pussy hands

>> No.19796187

>>19794246
In Mexico they open beers like this!

>> No.19796189
File: 130 KB, 844x1068, e080xw2dmhg61.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19796189

>>19794246
Mexican superiority.

>> No.19796266

>>19794779
you have to do that with twist caps? are you that nesh

>> No.19796270

>>19795677
Fun fact, there's actually no difference and euros just have soft wimpy hands

>> No.19796277
File: 59 KB, 640x480, f8c160dcf9ddc516a541957da33fa9e8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19796277

cool people use their gun to open bottles

>> No.19796359

>>19794246
>>19796189
Imagine making it even gayer than the European way. Truly superior.

>> No.19796371

>>19794246
Oh pls, i live in european part of russia and i can open beer with a cigarette lighter, a spoon, a table, almost everything. You are pathetic.

>> No.19796393

>>19794246
In America, beer comes in cans

>> No.19796599
File: 121 KB, 1300x1300, 001729896.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19796599

>>19794246
>yuropoors will never hear the deep, resonant pop of cracking open a natty daddy tallboy
what a sad way to live

>> No.19796758

>>19796189
you open your beer with gay sex??

>> No.19796792

>>19795677
I'm a bong and I can open beer bottles with my thumb. Hurts a lot and leaves a big indent though.

>> No.19797897

>>19795977
I have one of these too except the belt is HP fabric
I think I used it only a few times over the years

>> No.19797906
File: 72 KB, 1129x963, bottle opener.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19797906

I've had one of these since I was about 16.
I'm sure it's an autist trait but I love and insist on having useful things in my pockets at all times.

>> No.19797918

>>19797906
I just carry a leatherman everywhere I go. One of the fold outs is a serviceable bottle opener. The only things on my keyring are keys.

>> No.19797924
File: 61 KB, 600x600, 5b9dc07964dbd63500962e8ee1899971_600x600.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19797924

>>19796599
>25 pitiful memeounces
lol
o
l

>> No.19797932

>>19797906
shoe me all your gadgets

>> No.19797941

>>19795677
A few Christmas's ago I had a dude come to the checkout where I was working carrying a few bottles of ale awkwardly with some other shopping. I shit you not by the time he actually got to the checkout from the queue the bottle caps has shredded his hand to pieces and there was blood everywhere.

>> No.19797952

>>19794246
I use a lighter

>> No.19798181

>>19797918
>I just carry a leatherman
Which model? I carry a Swiss army knife that's pretty good but has no pliers obviously.

>> No.19798389

>>19795500
Only Amer'cans shart.

>> No.19798417

>>19795919
>literally the only thing I used on it is the bottle opener.
Same.
After a number of years it finally sliced open the wallet slot I kept it in so now I keep it at my desk and use it to open the beers I forgot to open before coming upstairs.
I haven't gotten anything else because I can technically use my leatherman's can opener to open any beer bottle when I'm out of the house.

>> No.19798709

>>19794264
>America
>gigantic, musclebound hands
You are a nation of lazy, sickly, weak manlets. That get frame mogged and height mogged everywhere in Europe.

Hell, even brownoids are bigger than you. Now fuck off back to your goyslop, you subhuman cattle.

>> No.19798806
File: 131 KB, 960x1280, kelly's.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19798806

>>19797924
>inb4 beer thread
get fucked
a man is nuthin without a taste o the ol blarney

>> No.19798839

youtube.com/watch?v=QbXYbPGUzdM
I have actually done this so YOU know it's tru :)

>> No.19799249

>>19796189
that's a threaded bottle anon. are you telling me mexicans hate even the smallest amount of work?

>> No.19799363

>>19798806
Based fortified wine enjoyer

>> No.19799368

>>19798709
lol whatever

>> No.19799376

>>19794246
I used to date a girl who could open them with her teeth.

God I should call her.

>> No.19799391

>>19794672
Just use your teeth

>> No.19799396
File: 14 KB, 282x376, TUBORG-STRONG-BEER-739.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19799396

>>19795932
>>19795933
They have the same thing in India

>> No.19799451

>>19799376
It's not that hard, I used to do it to until I realized I wasn't particularly fond of chipping away my canines one bit at a time. It's not worth it

>> No.19799773

>>19795586
You know they sell more than 1 type of bottle right?

>> No.19800689

>>19796189
cool

>> No.19800697

>>19794246
I used to door it with my teeth but it hurts my teeth just thinking about it now

>> No.19800826

yurostanis can't afford a simple bottle opener

>> No.19800863
File: 5 KB, 184x184, van-wat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19800863

>>19797918
>I just carry a leatherman everywhere I go

>> No.19800878

>>19800863
You jest, but this little homo is the most useful tool I own.

>> No.19800883

>>19800878
i bet it is especially when you cant open a bottle without one

>> No.19801008

>>19794246
I do this but with my teeth.

>> No.19801167
File: 260 KB, 600x600, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19801167

I just use my cap gun

>> No.19801178

>>19795251
I'm not a beer snob, but rolling rock is the worst beer. I'll still drink Rolling Rock, I'm not gay, but of all the beers in the world, it's the worst one

>> No.19801266

>kitchen - bottle opener
>other rooms - swiss army knife
>bar - wagie does it if I'm in some shithole, plus the only bottled beers I drink are corona and peroni and my locals have them on draft
>anywhere else - I'm not a street drinker

>> No.19801276
File: 26 KB, 599x362, 1602787538715.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19801276

Europeans are not welcome here

>> No.19801316

>>19798709
>laughs in Olympics domination

>> No.19801753
File: 284 KB, 1440x1080, 1_ecece8e49f428f432d869cc2318632ac.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19801753

>>19794246
>In europe we open beer like this
suck you can't have assault bottle openers

>> No.19801758

>>19795460
those that know know

>> No.19801766
File: 738 KB, 985x614, jhk37v1fer811.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19801766

>>19801753
B-b-based!

>> No.19802583

>>19794246
I use my 40 inch cock to open 500 beers at once.

>> No.19802679
File: 27 KB, 577x807, 1695721602863792.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19802679

>real men do THIS!
>"post arm"
>n-no thanks...
every thread
every board
every day

>> No.19803188

you put two bottles in one hand and kick one with your heel so the cap of the other one goes flying

>> No.19803197

>>19794246
>>19794264
>>19794314
>>19794680
>>19794728
>>19794749
Just use a fucking lighter o.O
>>19794825
THIS.

>> No.19803205

>>19794246
Every Europe VS. America hack reminds me of the banana one, where it's like "we open the banna from the part that doesn't have the stem", and it's like a video of some european guy opening the banana, and a bunch of Americans are like OHHHHHHHH
THE OTHER SIDEEEE
Wow! So smart!
It's a fucking banana. It takes 3 seconds to open either side. There's no discernible difference.
IT'S NOT HARD EITHER WAY

>> No.19803546

>>19794246
You can use some car safety belt buckles to pop them open. Also, no drinking and driving. Drink then drive otherwise you might spill.

>> No.19803622
File: 60 KB, 800x800, cerveza-victoria-1-botella-de-12-l-retornable.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19803622

>>19795057
damn, I didn't this one existed.
>also
I just use a fork or a knife to open it

>> No.19803643
File: 7 KB, 276x407, denzel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19803643

I just use my eye sockets

>> No.19804747

>>19794246
i always use my lighter to open them

>> No.19804760

>>19794246
in America we use our brains to invent tools.

>> No.19804772

>>19794822
I went to salt lake city from Chicago to hang around and hike and you don't even realize that there's no blacks or Mexicans. you don't notice when there isn't a problem.

>> No.19804787
File: 399 KB, 764x960, soylent.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19804787

>not having a bottle opening bot
ngmi

>> No.19804805

How do you decide who ends up with the lone beer that can't be opened because all the others are open?

>> No.19804848

>>19794341
That is exactly what I was worried was going to happen. You can do it with just about anything it's just leverage. I used to do it with a lighter all the time or a flamey stick starter flint machine as you call 'em there.

>> No.19804899

>>19794246
Pretty fucking stupid, what if the upside-down one opens first? Get a bottle opening you cheap cunt.

>> No.19805084

>>19794672
Nearest edge

>> No.19805233

>>19803197
A Buddy of mine did this and then it started spraying lighter fluid all over his hands. Luckily no fire tho.

>> No.19805357
File: 23 KB, 336x350, Klein Tools Bererage tool.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19805357

>Not having the Klein Tools bottle opener to match the rest of your klein tool collection

>> No.19805372
File: 23 KB, 978x252, 51Ynjjpu8tL._AC_SL1000_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19805372

>>19805357
>not using a high precision Swiss made bottle opener to match the rest of your PB Swiss tool collection

>> No.19805379

Beer is degenerate and I don't drink the liquid jew because I'm not a fat fuck who loves guzzling estrogen carbs.

>> No.19805388

>>19805379
Will your boyfriend leave you if your belly gets any bigger?

>> No.19805667

>>19802679
Post body

>> No.19805680

>>19805357
>made in USA

EWWWWWWWW

>> No.19805696

>>19794720
yep, tried this on my friend's kitchen island and took a chunk out. it didn't even open the bottle

>> No.19806659

>>19801753
they don't sell these in California anymore because the governor asked them not to