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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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18966062 No.18966062 [Reply] [Original]

>wake up
>have cereal with milk
>drink red bull
>WW3 takes place in my stomach
>farts smell like death

>> No.18966068

You are weak.

>> No.18966069

dont eat breakfast

>> No.18966076

>>18966068
>guy on 4chan projects his own securities
A tale as old as time

>> No.18966146

>>18966076
Buddy I've had every combo of slop in my stomach. I'm an expert on this issue.

>> No.18966291

>>18966146
Well my bowel is sensitive, not my fault
I mean it probably is but yeah

>> No.18966306

>cereal for breakfast
>liquid sugar right after

No wonder Americans are all 400lbs and hideous, I fucking despise you vile, deplorable mutts. May your agony commence soon crescendo unto your utter destruction. Amen.

>> No.18966309

>>18966062
Caffeine makes you shit

>> No.18966371

>>18966306
But I'm a bong you brown handed fool

>> No.18966380
File: 41 KB, 798x644, EfXCE01UYAA8csO.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18966380

>>18966371
Is that supposed to be any kind of improvement?

>> No.18966391

>>18966380
You'll never be white

>> No.18966434

>>18966062
don't drink red bull

>> No.18966435

>>18966391
Whiter than you Muhammed

>> No.18966498

>>18966435
Cringe

>> No.18966543

>>18966498
Cringe yourself to death you fat white faggot.

>> No.18966547

>>18966391
>>18966435
>>18966543
im so fuckin white ooo yeah baby so white im nearly see-through all my veins are visible im so white but for some reason i have a dusky penis?

>> No.18966600

>>18966547
Yeah...well anyway I'm guessing your parents never even taught you how to eat so long story short you don't need to eat first thing after you wake up. Fast, or do just enough to settle the stomach. 1 cup yogurt or half an apple would be plenty. Depending on your calorie needs you could do eggs and potatoes, or oatmeal without sugar toppings, just plain. Then by lunch I mean whatever you want really you'll be very hungry until your body corrects your metabolism from the current bad habits. Next you'll either be continuing your regular job, exercise/recreation and not eat again, wait until the food completely dissolves and you feel completely hungry to have a small meal. Keep going this way and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and finish digesting lunch through your intestines between small meals spaced well apart thus keeping your metabolism high and gastrointestinal system flowing optimally. Eat your last larger meal and sleep well knowing you made the first step towards achieving your full potential with great health. The stomach fuels the entire system and even though millions of years of evolution ensured your body could handle surviving from almost any eating habits or survival scenario doesn't mean you should have cereal and energy drinks for breakfast. Sorry for insulting you, I just wanted to make my point because I care.

>> No.18966604

>>18966600
wut

will this cure my dusky peniz

>> No.18966622

>>18966604
No, I can just tell you're obese and had a suboptimal education and I've done a lot of research on the best possible diet so I wanted to share.

Just to reiterate: Basically, push back your first meal as far as possible (drink water) and stop eating for 2-4 hours ideally getting some exercise before having small individual meals separated by maybe a bottle of water between each. Whole grains not white bread or prepackaged snacks. Protein is a no-brainer we all love meat. Try to include vegetables as much as possible. Beans are so healthy its incredible. Eggs, super simple literally a pure perfect food. Reduce sugar intake by eating fruit when the sugar addiction hits and being cognizant. [Impossible mode: avoid sugar completely]

>> No.18966624

>>18966622
>you're obese
The doctor said I'm mostly normal weight but I have an overweight penis

is that why it's dusky? how do I make it normal?

>> No.18966631

>>18966624
You gotta follow the diet first. I need proof you can commit to serious lifestyle changes before I'm willing to help with your big dusky dong.

>> No.18966634
File: 849 KB, 220x275, 1670285541683364.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18966634

>try to eat sugar free chocolate to be healthier
>get absolutely awful diarrhea and stomach pain

>> No.18966641

>>18966062
The amount of shit in red bulls & other energy drinks is so bad. How do people drink this in the morning, you will have no teeth left

>> No.18966644

>>18966634
Yeah they just use sugar alcohols and some other pancreas-blasting evil chemicals. Infinitely better off with real sugar, and it's not even all that terrible if you actually use the energy pretty soon like it's designed to be.

>> No.18966652

>>18966622
>>18966600
Im guessing you have had weight issues.
I have porridge oats and a mug of tea in the morning, you stick with some shit theory when really you are starving yourself

>> No.18966655

>>18966652
I have chronic pancreatits. Before hand I was a professional athlete and now Im slowly dying from my digestive system burning itself apart with stomach acid. I've had to visit numerous hospitals and struggled for years, and I'm on daily opioid prescriptions because it's so serious.

>> No.18966719

post proof of empty red bull can bullshit liar

>> No.18966773

>>18966719
Pay me and I will

>> No.18966993

>>18966652
nigga fasting is beneficial
I usually dont eat for 3-4hrs after waking up because I just don't feel like
then I get around 1000kcal in one sitting and the remaining 1-1.5k depending on whether I go to the gym that day or not is just random shit during the afternoon

>> No.18967038

>>18966773
eat my entire ass

>> No.18967077

>>18967038
No u

>> No.18967093

>>18967038
Pay me and I will

>> No.18967094

>>18967077
I'm sorry, you need to speak to your handler about why you're using your free time in the center for autistic children to post on a fast food forum.

>> No.18967645

>>18966306
>VGH cereal and energy drinks make you obese
>not like my unnamed but superior country where we eat $5000/lb slices of premium veal with a side of apsaragus for meal 1 and maybe cook up a little steak and potatoes meal for optional meal 2

>> No.18967664

>>18966306
an american wrote this.

>> No.18967862

Time for a classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFeceVPm7Do