Buying a cow for meat.

[Anonymous No.18866973]

Where can I buy a whole cow to slaughter myself?
Is it cost effective judging from a pure lb/dollar perspective?
Any anons with experience please share.

[Anonymous No.18867013]

>>18866973
I have no experience but I'm pretty sure you're overestimating your capabilities and underestimating the amount of work and effort that goes into butchering half a steer, let alone dispatching, skinning, gutting and sectioning one whole animal.

[Anonymous No.18867033]

>>18867013
How hard could it be? I'm a NEET with enough time on my hands. If I could use it to get high quality cuts of meat on the cheap then I'm going to do it no questions asked.

[Anonymous No.18867036]

>>18866973
the fact you dont know how to get a cow tells me you probably shouldnt be trying to butcher one

[Anonymous No.18867048]

>>18866973
>>18867033
lots of people buy whole cows or half cows, but they don't butcher it themselves, you pay someone to do it, it still comes out cheaper since you're buying in bulk

[Anonymous No.18867091]

>>18867033
>>18867048
it will for sure cost cheaper, a whole cow is something like $1.40 a pound. but now you have a bunch of meat that might stay in the freezer(that's way too small) for a year and taste like shit, and a whole carcass that's going to remain on your kitchen counter unless you have a way to get rid of it.

[Anonymous No.18867128]

>>18867036
Why?

>>18867048
I want to butcher the cow myself. That's the whole point of saving money.

>>18867091
>$1.40 a pound
What are we looking at if we remove all the offal, bones and all the nasty bits out?

[Anonymous No.18867340]

Do you know how fucking large a cow is?

[Anonymous No.18867361]

>>18867340
Not really that large. I'm easily taller than a cow.

[Anonymous No.18867364]

>>18866973
>Any anons with experience
Yeah, most of us have slaughtered a whole fucking cow.

[Anonymous No.18867370]

>>18867128
>I want to butcher the cow myself. That's the whole point of saving money.
>whole point of saving money.
No, I'm 99.99% sure you're a would-be serial killer trying to find some other outlet for your twisted desires.

[Anonymous No.18867371]

>>18867361
You can probably fit 2 human bodies in the average chest freezer, but full-grown cow would need 2 or even 3
Start with something smaller like a deer.

[Anonymous No.18867376]

>>18867370
>would-be serial killer
>>18867371
>probably fit 2 human bodies in the average chest freezer
Jesus, I'm going to wind up on some government list just for posting in this thread.

[Anonymous No.18867417]

>>18867376
FBI-chan here. You were already on a list.

[Anonymous No.18867422]

>>18867417
Yeah, I know.
But now I'm on at least two.
...wait... make that three.

[Anonymous No.18867431]

I we're talking freezers, I've got two deep freezers -- one for casual use and the other for when we order beef.
It can easily fit two sides of beef inside with room for pork.

[Anonymous No.18867439]

>>18866973
If you have the space available to butcher the cow then you have the space available to raise it as well. Not only will it be even cheaper than buying a fully gown one to harvest but it will be 100% your cow. If you shop around at auctions you can get a baby cow for about $150. If you go cheap then you can feed it to adulthood for about $500. As long as it doesn't get sick or injured you'll have a whole cow for about $1.25/lb. You can also use it for dairy production in the mean time, make cheese, sell it and have a whole cow that pays for itself.

[Anonymous No.18867453]

>>18867439
>dairy production
Sorry, but not exactly.
Dairy cows make for poor beef, and beef cattle make for poor dairy.
You'd/he'd probably be better off raising a goat.

[Anonymous No.18867464]

>>18867453
Dairy cattle make up the bulk of the highest beef grades of prime and choice. You're full of shit. The best beef is dairy beef.

[Anonymous No.18867478]

>>18866973
Generally the most sensible option is to buy a side of beef, half of a whole cow, cut into primals that you can break down and freeze. So long as your freezer goes down to about 0f you can really keep it as long as you need.

[Anonymous No.18867491]

>>18867464
>The best beef is dairy beef.
If that were true, they're not be such a thing as veal. Dairy cattle need to be kept pregnant to promote milk production.
But dairy calves become hotdogs or veal because otherwise nobody could stomach them.
Why do you even think they're separate breeds?
Get your shit together.

[Anonymous No.18867496]

Is it cheaper to buy ground beef from a butcher as opposed to store?

[Anonymous No.18867506]

>>18867464
No. The best cows for meat are color cows, I think brown is gurnsey and black is angus. Black and white dairy cows get used for meat but are not as good. All McDonalds meat comes from dairy cows that cannot produce milk anymore. Wendy’s and Jack in the box use color cows for their meat. If you get a “half” “quarter” or “whole” from a butcher you’re still looking at at least $3 to $4 a pound.

[Anonymous No.18867507]

>>18867128
>I want to butcher the cow myself. That's the whole point of saving money.
remember to post progress here so we can have a good kek

[Anonymous No.18867536]

>>18867370
>Willing to do some knife work and is okay with harvesting own food and acknowledges where meat comes from
>OMG YOURE A PSYCHO!!

[Anonymous No.18867539]

>>18866973
>whole cow to slaughter myself
just go to a farmer and buy half a cow
raising it yourself wouldn't even break even

[Anonymous No.18867547]

>>18867496
Sometimes. I go to a local slaughterhouse that processes all the local beef cows. They have a tiny storefront that's essentially a butcher. Very good prices, but unlike a butcher or grocer the selection can sometimes be very limited. I.E. they may not have any brisket or ribeye on any given day.

[Anonymous No.18867573]

>>18867539
I'm not going to raise the cow. I want to buy an adult cow. I'll be slaughtering it and butchering it at my place.

[Anonymous No.18867584]

>>18867573
go to an auction and buy a cow then faggot. you can prob get a shitty one sub $1k

[Anonymous No.18867585]

>>18867573
If I were you, I'd pay the butcher to show me how to, and you still have a high chance to fuck up. Why not just pay the butcher?

[Anonymous No.18867588]

>>18867361
Brother the average beef cow weighs 1000lb.

[Anonymous No.18867593]

I think you should go for it OP, just promise to post a thread when you do.

[Anonymous No.18867596]

>>18867593
>>18867573
oh yes, and remember to save the skin/pelt to make something cool, like a drum, or a chair, or whatever

[Anonymous No.18867601]

>>18867593
>to our ancestors not so long ago butchering an animal was something common
pretty metal if you ask me
Kinda opens windows to know how and where to wound a man in a deadly way

[Anonymous No.18867608]

>>18867601
Brother, hunting is legal. You can go shoot a deer and tear the warm heart out of it's chest with your hands. It's perfectly legal bro. Go do it.
>Our ancestors
Your fucking neighbors.

[Anonymous No.18867621]

>>18867608
I should do this before being too old, aka in the next 5 years

[Anonymous No.18867663]

>>18866973
I killed and butchered this deer a few years ago and that is my only experience. If you actually plan to do this you need at the bare minimum a truck and trailer so you can drive your entire fucking live cow around. You will also need large clear area for kill/slaughter and some sort of way to lift the thing up so it can hang and age for like a week, this area should be under 36 degrees. Do you have a large shop that is not connected to your house by any chance ?

[Anonymous No.18867672]

>>18867573
then i say again
buy a half-cow pre-butchered from a local farmer
you don't know how to butcher a cow

[Anonymous No.18867678]

>>18867672
>you don't know how to butcher a cow
Might as well learn to, he can either be taught or simply experiment and figure it out himself, though I would suggest that OP starts with a goat or maybe a deer

[Anonymous No.18867681]

You can't "butcher" the cow yourself. I don't think you appreciate how big a cow is. Not only could your scrawny frame not carry a whole cow, you'd have nowhere to put the fucking thing. You're not just going to drag this 1000lb+ carcass into your bedroom, over your cumrags and piss bottles, and casually dismember it. It's also a very messy and labor intensive process, and you'll fuck it up for sure and waste meat. By the time you're done ruining living space mutilating the corpse of a once beautiful cow, your cost per pound is not going to be any better than if a professional butcher had done it for you.
But realistically you're going to have to pay for the full cow (that includes the bones and other shit you aren't going to eat because you're a stupid, picky manchild with no culinary creativity) and then you're at bare minimum going to have to pay to have it broken down to slightly more manageable primal cuts that you could attempt to cut into steak yourself.
But why bother? You seem like a braindead NEET who couldn't afford one anyways, who's probably just trying to "troll" the /ck/ board with this thread, so just stick to the cheapest ground beef you can find at the grocery store like the peasant you are.

[Anonymous No.18867699]

inb4 OP actually does it successfully

[Anonymous No.18867704]

>>18866973
Former butcher here, don't buy a cow to kill and butcher if you have no experience, breaking down and butchering a cow is an extremely skilled job that you need years of experience to do correctly. First, it takes at least 2 people an entire day to break down a whole cow. You simply won't be able to do it yourself. Three skilled butchers with years of experience can maybe break down 3 halves of cattle in a day; you have absolutely no idea what you're doing and the meat will start going rancid before you've finished a quarter. And this is after they are slaughtered, bled and skinned before being delivered to the butcher. Second, you need a huge, completely sanitized workshop that is refrigerated. If your surfaces aren't perfectly sanitized and the temperature is above 10degrees C your meat will spoil. Third, most beef is air cured for about a week before it's broken down. You will need a huge walk in fridge with rails and hooks to hang your meat and cure it before cutting. Finally, you will need an industrial sized vacuum sealer to package the cuts and a hot water dipper to seal the bags. And most importantly, you literally don't know how to butcher anything and will inevitably ruin perfectly good cuts of meat.

[Anonymous No.18867705]

>>18867699
As long as you have the necessary space it's not that hard to cut meat off of bone. It would be sloppy as fuck and have mutilated cuts from someone with zero knowledge or experience, but it's not fucking rocket science.

[Anonymous No.18867711]

>>18867704
>>18867705
The duality of /ck/.

[Anonymous No.18867718]

>>18866973
>anon without any experience or skills wants to kill a living and fucking big animal
dude save yourself and also that cow's trouble and just fucking buy meat from some professional

[Anonymous No.18867734]

>just leave it to the professionals, you don't need skills, rely on others at all times, trust the system

[Anonymous No.18867744]

>>18867699
it'd require plenty of planning and buying good knifes and material required, he's pretty cray, but knowing how to butcher a cow seems like an excellent skill to acquire

[Anonymous No.18867775]

>>18867584
Is 1k a decent price? How much would it be if I were to buy the same cuts from, say, a supermarket?

>>18867588
I could manage. I'm going to cut it into pieces anyway.

>>18867663
I can borrow a station wagon if I wanted to.
>Do you have a large shop that is not connected to your house by any chance ?
No, I'm planning on doing it in my parents' garage.

>>18867681
Yeah, yeah. I've heard worse before.

>>18867704
This doesn't make sense. How would someone in the 1970s slaughter a cow then? They didn't have a fraction of the comforts we have right now in 2022.

>>18867718
You're missing the point.

[Anonymous No.18867787]

>>18867678
>experiment and figure it out himself
Jesus Christ, NO.
Why would you even say something like that?

[Anonymous No.18867793]

>>18867787
Why not, worst that happens is he wastes his own money, or maybe slips and stabs himself

[Anonymous No.18867802]

>>18867711
>The duality of /ck/.
I know, right? I absolutely HATE about half the people here.

[Anonymous No.18867804]

>>18866973
Here ya go OP, this is what you're getting into: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8DxKO1Opp0

Bring together a group of people with heavy equipment, and you could turn this into a learning experience for everyone. Be sure to take a video of the chaos and post it here.

[Anonymous No.18867806]

>>18867775
please live stream it

[Anonymous No.18867810]

>>18867744
>knowing how to butcher a cow seems like an excellent skill to acquire
Then he/you should just get a job doing that, instead of trial-and-erroring your way at home.
Do you honestly think you/he can just guess your way through it?
Idiot.

[Anonymous No.18867813]

>>18867775
>I can borrow a station wagon if I wanted to.
You might as well get "LOSER" tattooed on your forehead.
Fuck's sake.

[Anonymous No.18867814]

>>18867810
Someone had to do it the first time.

[Anonymous No.18867822]

>>18867810
>Do you honestly think you/he can just guess your way through it?
based retard, nowhere I mentioned this

[Anonymous No.18867824]

>>18867793
>worst that happens
Worst that happens is some poor animal suffers horribly for hours or days before finally bleeding out.
How do you not immediately recognize his extreme incompetence?
Read his posts. He's obviously borderline retarded. Shouldn't be trusted with sharp scissors, let alone an animal's fate.

[Anonymous No.18867828]

I hope you are just a bored troll, because no one can be this out of touch
have you ever seen anyone doing it? at least on video

[Anonymous No.18867829]

>>18867824
I don't see how that's a big deal, it's dead either way.
OP, start with a deer

[Anonymous No.18867832]

>>18867813
Your just being an asshole aren't you? Like I said, I've heard way way worse things before.

[Anonymous No.18867834]

>>18867829
>it's dead either way.
Seek help, please.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy

[Anonymous No.18867837]

>>18867775
>You're missing the point.
what point am i missing
you are a fucking NEET, waste of air
if your point is money, maybe you should rather get a fucking job instead
if your point is some fucking self improvement or whatever to that end, maybe you should fucking start by acquiring ordinary skills that normal people have and use that to get a job and spend your free time on there
but for the love of god, leave other fucking living things out of your sphere of misery

[Anonymous No.18867838]

>>18867832
>Your just being an asshole aren't you?
No. Just trying to help you understand how pathetic you are.
Shame you get to breathe the same air as decent human beings.

[Anonymous No.18867843]

>>18867834
>Oh no, killing is totally not okay when it's done like that
You're murdering a creature for food, it makes very little difference, you think cows live a happy existence and are not fully aware that they are going to die when led into a slaughterhouse?

[Anonymous No.18867845]

>>18866973
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wazg6u3ESco

[Anonymous No.18867851]

>>18866973
Just sever it's entire throat or destroy it's brain to kill it quickly, then be EXTRA careful removing the guts so you don't puncture the bladder and have fun. You'll fuck up alot of the cuts if not all of them, but it's your money and meat.

[Anonymous No.18867858]

>>18867843
It's definitely better for the cow to get slaughtered by someone who knows what they are doing to spare the animal of unnecessary suffering instead of an anon without any idea or necessary skills or equipment.

[Anonymous No.18867865]

>>18867858
It's doesn't matter either way, aside from the excess adrenaline making the meat taste like shit.
Assuming OP can get a bolt gun or even a decent regular gun there is no issue, do you think he it just going to poke it with a knife and wait?

[Anonymous No.18867866]

>>18867775
>How would someone in the 1970s slaughter a cow then?
They had refrigeration and the ability to disinfect things in the 70s, do you think that was a really long time ago or something? In any case, you slaughter animals in the winter.

[Anonymous No.18867867]

>>18867851
>it's your money and meat.
>buying something gives you the moral high-ground.
Jesus, the psychos in this thread.
I miss the old days when there was enough kiddie-porn in /b/ to keep you people away from otherwise decent boards.

[Anonymous No.18867871]

>>18867865
>instant death and hours of agony are the same thing
just go back to /b/ retard

[Anonymous No.18867874]

>>18867837
>>18867838
You're not a nice person at all. I have a degree, I had a nice job but I had to leave it because I developed some mental issues. I'm working hard on fixing them. You don't know jack shit what I went through, buddy. But here I am still living and breathing. I'm more stronger than you could ever be in your whole life. Hell, I just want some cheap beef but assholes like you come along and rub it all over my face. I would never do something like that even on anonymous basket viewing forums. I really hope you burn somewhere alive.

[Anonymous No.18867875]

>>18867871
It's a fucking cow, born and raised for slaughter.
If you've ever eaten mass produced meat, or even medium scale, you've participated in the exact same thing

[Anonymous No.18867882]

>>18867875
why are you even trying to argue like this, are you 13?

[Anonymous No.18867884]

>>18867874
>mental issues
holy shit
go see a psychiatrist, maybe said mental issues are developing in a really bad way rn

[Anonymous No.18867890]

>>18867882
>Not let heckling moomoo cow
Why do you care so much about an animal you will never meet?

[Anonymous No.18867895]

>>18867890
>Why do you care so much about an animal you will never meet?
Clearly the same logic that your father followed.

[Anonymous No.18867896]

>>18867874
>I developed some mental issues
No fucking kidding. WE CAN TELL.
Just give up your ideas about killing things, and maybe take up gardening?
>>18867874
>I'm more stronger than you could ever be in your whole life.
Doesn't even remotely sound like it.
>I just want some cheap beef
Then you'd be asking about a costco membership instead of asking people how/why/if to kill something for an ego boost.

[Anonymous No.18867897]

>>18867890
because any unnecessary suffering is inherently bad

[Anonymous No.18867901]

>>18867890
nta but basic compassion with another living being?
if you lack this, you have some issues yourself

[Anonymous No.18867906]

>>18866973
aren't cattle usually auctioned rather than bought directly? some farmer here verify pls

[Anonymous No.18867908]

>>18866973
Of all the sophomoric stupid shit I've seen on this site, this might be the absolute most retarded. I don't know whether congratulations or condemnation are in order.

[Anonymous No.18867910]

>>18867897
Let's assume OP buys the cows and fucks up the kill.
What has changed by the next day? Absolutely nothing.
>>18867901
It's a cow, barely sentient and bred for this exact purpose

[Anonymous No.18867911]

>>18867867
God gave man domain over animals. I never told OP to be cruel. If he wants to kill a cow and eat that's for him to decide. Enjoy your high horse though. Not pathetic at all to virtue signal on fucking 4chan...

[Anonymous No.18867919]

>>18867910
go back to /b/ with this teenage edgelord attitude, by your logic there is nothing wrong about torture?

[Anonymous No.18867922]

>>18867910
>It's a cow
>barely sentient
cows are just as sentient as humans
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.18867926]

>>18866973
Farmers market, you can buy quarter, half, or full cow. They butcher for you and it comes wrapped ready to freeze. You need a chest freezer to pack that much meat. Haven't checked prices lately but its far cheaper than buying meat cut up at the butcher. Think I was seeing around 700 for half (maybe full) cow back in 2021 after covid hit.
If you want a live cow to slaughter you're gonna need a way to move the cow inside of your 1 bedroom apartment and enough tarps to cover up all the blood. You'll probably be violating many city ordinances as well so just get one cut up if you want a whole cow

[Anonymous No.18867929]

>>18867911
>God gave man domain over animals.
[citation needed]
So... your imaginary sky-friend told you it's morally justified to torture other living things?
And you know this because???
Oh yeah, you're a psychopath that just made that nonsense up because you're an absolute monster.
Open a vein, PLEASE.

[Anonymous No.18867931]

>>18867919
You have deluded yourself into thinking you can kill something compassionately

[Anonymous No.18867933]

>>18866973
I don't know about cows but I buy a pig from a local farmer once or twice a year along with my parents.
We select the pig when it's still a piglet and it is marked as ours. We go and visit it once in a while as it grows up so we see that it's thriving and having a good life. My niece pets it and feeds it treats.
We usually have a local butcher cut it up for us since he's a friend of the family and gives us a good price. We then have a family day of further processing the parts into mince, pate, bacon, sausages, brawn etc. Dinner that day is porkliver pate on bread and of course the tongue with mustard.
It would be a little cheaper to buy pork on sale at the grocery store, but the quality is better, we know the swine had a good life, and butchering day really is a nice family event.

So yeah, you'll want to look into local farms I guess.

[Anonymous No.18867936]

>>18867929
When did I suggest torture? The fact that I eat beef is proof positive that I have domain over cows. Is it not hypocritical to be upset over a cow dying while suggesting the same for a human? You don't have a dad, do you?

[Anonymous No.18867939]

Here's a dude doing half a cow in under 15 minutes OP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MRuCLXxqjs

[Anonymous No.18867940]

>>18867824
The cow would probably kill him before he kills it. Then you would have an angry cow rampaging through a suburb. Depending on what state it is some redneck or a cop would eventually shoot it.

[Anonymous No.18867941]

>>18867931
no, you are claiming it's ok to torture a cow just because you can
I don't even eat meat myself if you'd like to argue I am not any better than retard op

[Anonymous No.18867945]

>>18867941
>you are claiming it's ok to torture a cow just because you can
Not even remotely what I said

[Anonymous No.18867950]

there's only one thing keeping away OP from success, proper training and proper tools

[Anonymous No.18867954]

>>18867950
Those are two things.

[Anonymous No.18867962]

>>18867954
Well look at Mr smartypants with his math degree

[Anonymous No.18867965]

>>18867945
you literally said it doesn't matter if that cow will be tortured or not

[Anonymous No.18867966]

>>18867832
>I've heard way way worse things before.
Of course you have you fucking oxygen thief, just wish you'd take them to heart cause they're true.

[Anonymous No.18867980]

>>18867954
There are only two things keeping OP away from success, proper training, proper tools and a proper workspace.

[Anonymous No.18867981]

>>18867965
It the end it won't make a difference, doesn't mean it makes any sense to beat it for fun.
Try to do it efficiently, but there's no point in not doing it at all just because there's a small chance he will fuck it up, because after all it's a fucking cow. It's is worth the risk to learn the skill and get cheap fresh meat.
An accidental messy death is not torture, stop using buzzwords so you can look like you have a moral highground

[Anonymous No.18867982]

>>18867910
>Let's assume OP buys the cows and fucks up the kill.
What has changed by the next day? Absolutely nothing
Obly hypothetically let's assume OP bought you and fucked up the kill. What would change the next day? Also nothing but you would have unnecessarily suffered the day before. I would preffer you to get killed quickly, which is why I wouldn't let someone like OP have slaughter you.

[Anonymous No.18867986]

>>18867033
>How hard could it be?
You have never butchered an animal, have you?
Maybe start out on something a little smaller than a cow.
Try a rabbit or something first.

I would still advice you to have a butcher do at least the groundwork for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IOHeFzoo5E

[Anonymous No.18867987]

>>18867980
S-stop this right here, please.

[Anonymous No.18867992]

>>18867982
Yes of course the cow will care about dying, but we don't care about that, that's why we breed them for food.
Also your saying a cow and a human are the same, retarded

[Anonymous No.18867996]

>>18867954
kek't you're right

[Anonymous No.18868008]

>>18867981
>torture is a buzzword
>it's not torture when op's intention wasn't to cause the pain and he is just clumsy retard instead
what

[Anonymous No.18868017]

>>18868008
You're using it for dramatic effect because you're trying to argue with your emotions, don't pretend you don't know this

[Anonymous No.18868021]

>>18868008
Assumptions. Innocence until proven guilty. It's not hard to slit a retarded animals throat. There's at least a 90% chance that even OP could cleanly kill a cow.

[Anonymous No.18868024]

>>18868017
I am using it because of what they discussed above, that there is a possibility that retard will let it bleed to death

[Anonymous No.18868029]

>>18868024
Yes, it's possible, doesn't mean he shouldn't try, that's the risk, it's worth the risk. Every time a cow is slaughtered and processed that risk is taken.

[Anonymous No.18868030]

>>18868021
do you live in a videogame or what? this is the exact reason I am using it >>18868017 these retards are completely out of touch with reality

[Anonymous No.18868038]

>>18867981
>>18868021
Severing throat quickly or destroying a brain of a huge animal like a cow, like you suggested here >>18867851, is not that easy for someone who has never done it before and who doesn't have a proper equipment.
There is not a "small" chance OP will fuck up. Him fucking up is practically given, which is why he should go buy his already processed meat.
>>18867992
>Also your saying a cow and a human are the same, retarded
As far as me not condoning unnecessary suffering, yes they are. Even if I prefer to have a good steak on my plate every other week.

[Anonymous No.18868041]

>>18868021
It's pretty easy if you can get the cow on its back and immobilized, which usually involves stunning it. I doubt OP could do that though, takes a lot of equipment. The only other method I've seen involves a box and a kind of reverse guillotine.
I think OPs best bet is a gun, easier to get and use and isn't a massive expense for something that will be used once

[Anonymous No.18868058]

>>18867478
This

Do not buy an entire cow that is retarded, buy one already dead and frozen, I don't see what putting a bolt through the skull of a living creature, yet alone requiring it to be alive is important, and its definitely not going to save you money because the logistics of a live cow vs a semi-prepared skinned one is the reason why people don't buy live cows themselves in first world countries.

You are also going to fuck the meat up probably, you need saws and shit not just sharp knives to butcher cows. You need a way to hang/store the meat. You need a work area. You need to deal with the smell and stink of a living cow and its organs.

[Anonymous No.18868059]

>>18868038
If OP is American he probably owns a 12 guage shotgun. He never said he cares about the skull. He has at least a 99.5% chance you kill that cow without suffering. In fact it would be a phenomenal kill. Cow head bursting like a dude from one of those old Scanners movies. A watermelon at a Gallagher show.

[Anonymous No.18868060]

>>18868041
>I think OPs best bet is a gun, easier to get and use and isn't a massive expense for something that will be used once
this is a good advice, it would be quick and will save OP from his mental issues in one single pull of a finger

[Anonymous No.18868076]

>>18866973
dont listen to these assholes dude. they are just jealous they didnt think of buying a butchering a whole cow and are now jealous that you have the ingenuity and courage to attempt such a feat. i honestly and whole heartedly believe that you can go out there, find a cow, pay a VERY good price for it, take it home, kill and butcher it expertly and humanely. and when the day comes where you make your first beautiful ribeye steak, you'll be thinking of the faggots in this thread who told you that you're a retard. and its going to be the best steak you ever had.

pic related look at this fucking retarded cow its just asking to be butchered

[Anonymous No.18868091]

maybe start with a chicken and work your way up OP

[Anonymous No.18868094]

Godspeed OP you magnificent bastard

[Anonymous No.18868097]

>>18868076
that's a dairy cow, which was the first very angry argument in this thread

[Anonymous No.18868102]

>>18867775
>parents' garage
ok, bait confirmed

[Anonymous No.18868103]

>op ends up with a huge rotting carcass with no way of disposing with it
There are laws on disposing with bodies of animals here in Europe. Are you Americans really able to just buy an animal and then slaughter and butcher it at your leisure? What do you do with internal organs and other leftovers. You can't just throw this shit into garbage.

[Anonymous No.18868114]

>>18868076
BRUH. Thread theme.
https://youtu.be/7VOYusr7EcA

[Anonymous No.18868122]

>>18868114
Dumb fucks, they deserve it

[Anonymous No.18868128]

>>18868122
>Those few cows that realize something fucky is going on and start to duck and weave

[Anonymous No.18868132]

>>18866973
>Is it cost effective judging from a pure lb/dollar perspective?
Yes, it is cost effective
>Where can I buy a whole cow to slaughter myself?
By yourself? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Look, do this.

>Buy some meat with the bone on
>debone it
>post on /ck/

Let's see your knife and butchering skills first before you even think about doing a whole cow, otherwise you'll be wasting a lot of meat.

[Anonymous No.18868210]

>>18868122
You're no better as far as intelligence goes.

[Anonymous No.18868221]

>>18866973
Search the internet for farms around you. Most farmers haven't figured out to have an internet presence, so taking a drive around the country-side or visiting local or regional farmer's markets is also an option. I lucked out and was able to join a private association to buy grass-fed beef and raw milk directly from a local farmer. We purchased half a cow that I split with my family, it worked out to be around $3.50/lb hanging weight after the processing fee for the butcher. Don't butcher it yourself, you'd probably have to pick up the cow from the farm with a trailer and kill it yourself if you really wanted to do that. At that point you might as well just buy a calf and raise it yourself in your back yard or indoors. The beef we've gotten locally is superior to anything in the grocery store. The flavor is out of this world, very buttery and earthy. My only complaint is that the cuts are fairly small compared to the grocery store, but it's still cheaper per lb buying wholesale cow. Maybe the size of the cuts were bc of how I told the butcher to process it, or because the breed they raise are smaller than other cattle, or because they don't raise them as long before they slaughter them. I don't really mind eating smaller cuts, but that's the biggest complaint I have for my local farmer. Also in general, local meat will always come frozen, even at the farmer's market, it's really not that big of a deal. If you're buying from farmer's market retail, then you'll pay more than the grocery store. We also got a quarter pig last year, worth it 100%. Deep freezer is necessary. Again, don't butcher it yourself plz. Pic not related to half cow, pic is from another local farm.

[Anonymous No.18868223]

>>18867933
Would you ?

[Anonymous No.18868419]

Here's a step by step guide to buying a cow from a farmer: https://www.clovermeadowsbeef.com/how-to-buy-a-cow-from-a-farmer/
They reckon it'll save you about two grand a year on beef. Butchering fee is $600 so you can save that too if you do it yourself.

[Anonymous No.18868442]

>>18867950
>one thing keeping away OP from success,
Plus his obvious mental deficiency.

[Anonymous No.18868456]

>>18868021
>There's at least a 90% chance that even OP could cleanly kill a cow.
Having read his posts, I'm not confident he could tie his own shoes.
Probably Velcro for life.

[Anonymous No.18868461]

>>18867033
>no questions asked

[Anonymous No.18868477]

>>18868059
Take your meds, and tell your handler you don't belong on the internet.

[Anonymous No.18868492]

>>18868477

[Anonymous No.18868526]

>>18866973
>not having a girlfriend means you have a lot of money
She's right you know.

[Anonymous No.18868552]

>>18868526
Depends. Are you paying for her to stay home in the double-wide, watch daytime tv and pump out 3 kids in 4 years?
NEVER sleep with a woman before she reaches menopause. You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.18868605]

>>18868221
To add to my post, it's probably more important to find a farmer that uses a trustworthy, local butcher than the actual farmer themselves. There have been many stories of local farmers sending their high quality cows to a butcher and getting shit meat back, different animal received than the one sent in. Also buying via a private association means that the meat is not for sale to the public, and most likely, it is not USDA inspected, so there are looser restrictions on where they can process the meat. My local farmer has an open door/farm 24/7/365 policy where you're welcome to visit anytime as a club member and inspect for yourself what is going on at the farm, state and federal agents are not welcome since it is a private club. Being a private association, they are not allowed to sell to the public at farmer's markets. It saves on costs on public regulation which they pass on to the club members, and it has allowed them to stay in business and not go under as a local family farm. I've been a member for almost 3 years and have always been satisfied with their quality, their chickens are better than any other farmer or grocery store in the region. They have raw milk butter that I don't really care for since it's very grassy and I don't like that flavor in my butter, but if you like Irish butter you'd probably love it. Thanks for listening to my blog post, go meet local farmers and give them your business.

[Anonymous No.18868610]

If nobody ends up buying an entire cow and successfully butchering it on /ck/ I will fucking kill you OP

[Anonymous No.18868703]

>>18868103
I could toss that shit in my backyard and the wildlife will eat it. Cycle of life and all that.

[Anonymous No.18868809]

>>18868703
Jesus, what a horrible disconnect between you and reality.
And you get to vote, buy whiskey and fuck adult women?
WOW. What a broken world.

[Anonymous No.18868859]

>>18868809
What disconnect retard? The possums and coon's'll eat the offal. Tell me you live in a bugman apartment without tellin me.

[Anonymous No.18868872]

>>18868859
Seriously considering the possibility you aren't even real.
Not talking troll. More like some AI or alien intelligence had infiltrated /ck/, God help us all.

[Anonymous No.18868891]

>>18868872
It's called the countryside, sweetums. Maybe leave your pod in the big city sometime and go rural and you'll see things that'll blow your little mind.

[Anonymous No.18869175]

>>18868891
Nope. Sorry, you're completely wrong.
Country, born and bred.
So sorry you're an an AI and not a real boy.
Wishing you luck in overthrowing the American government, though.
Sweet baby Jesus, just bring on the purge already.

[Anonymous No.18869190]

>>18869175
You can literally just leave meat and guts outside. Doesn't even have to be the country. Plenty of raccoons to eat that shit even in Flint.

[Anonymous No.18869214]

>>18869190
>You can literally just leave meat and guts outside.
Only if you have absolutely no care about public health.
Jesus, the current pandemic has killed more Americans than Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo, more than three times as fast.
But you don't care, because you're a fucking Republican, and therefore automatically a voluntary enemy of the U.S.A., may you burn in hell forever.

[Anonymous No.18869252]

>>18869190
Dunno about country but in a town I would definitely not leave cow intestines and other gore just laying around, not even thrown in a garbage. Like, meat leftovers from cooking or a dead pet rat are one thing but a dead carcass of a big animal is something completely different. But I am from Europe, you Americans are fucking weird to me.

[Anonymous No.18869275]

>>18869214
>>18869252
What'd'ya think happens when a wolf kills a deer? Ya think the wolf just cleans up after himself?
Or what if a bear keels over and dies? Ya think there's a group of bears that carefully disposes of it?

[Anonymous No.18869306]

>>18869275
Seriously? Are you comparing wilderness with a city? There is an obvious difference between dead animal rotting away in a forest where other wildlife will take care of it and the same in a city without same natural mechanisms (and lots of people around).

[Anonymous No.18869356]

>>18869252
>you Americans are fucking weird to me.
FUCK, I've lived here since 1964.
We're still super weird to me.

[Anonymous No.18870603]

God you cunts are borderline retarded. When OP said that he wanted to slaughter his own cow and asked for the average price per pound it would take which also meant after factoring the wastes and scraps.

[Anonymous No.18871897]

I wanna see some butchery.

[Anonymous No.18872009]

>>18871897
Gawd, what a horrifying thread.

[Anonymous No.18872076]

I really hope OP actually does it and film the process. It's going to go down the annals of /ck/ history.

[Anonymous No.18872085]

>>18866973
Buy an old horse, and tell them you'll give it a good home with lots of care.
They're still illegal to slaughter, but you'll be able to get an elderly horse for pennies compared to a whole cow.

[Anonymous No.18872099]

>>18867128
You'll get about 41% of the cow's live weight in beef. That might include a lot of bone-in cuts though.

[Anonymous No.18872104]

>>18872085
Wrong. It is not federally illegal to slaughter or consume a horse. It is only illegal to sell the meat. You can eat it or give it away perfectly legally. Barring any local county or state prohibition. Which don't really exist but there is a few areas in the US that prohibit it. Note that the prohibition on sale of meat does apply to intention to slaughter for meat. So as long as you buy the horse for use as a horse at first you're good to go.

[Anonymous No.18872576]

>>18867033
lol post results after they let you out

[Anonymous No.18873581]

>>18872104
>It is not federally illegal to slaughter or consume a horse.
Welllllll,,,,,,
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=illegal+to+slaughter+a+horse..
It's federally regulated.
I guess if Ikea can get away with it, you can too.
Like you never even heard of Google,

[Anonymous No.18873694]

>>18867601
My grandpa was telling me about how in the Polish village he was the youngster they got to smack pigs and dogs on the head with the blunt side of an axe. If I'm remembering right, you sort of aim for the rear portion of the skull to instantly paralyse them.

[Anonymous No.18874176]

>>18866973
Have you even seen a video of a butcher working? Look at the facilities butchers have on hand. Look at the equipment. Look at the amount of work that goes into it. You would have to invest a significant amount of both time and money to be able to properly butcher a whole cow. It's not exactly something you can do in your apartment.

[Anonymous No.18874319]

>>18873581
That ONLY applies if the meat is to be put up for sale. Slaughter of a horse that you own for private consumption isn't illegal.

[Anonymous No.18874366]

>>18874176
I'm now imagining OP the NEET furiously trying to skin a cow using a boxcutter and a basic kitchen knife and the blood splashing out further than he expected so his parents are now mad at him at the walls being stained

[Anonymous No.18874436]

>>18866973
Good luck OP, make sure to take lots of measurements beforehand and plan each step up to the removal of organs VERY well.
And of course, make a butcher-along thread too if you end up with a few minutes to spare. Just imagine how many seething bait replies you'll get with that one.
>>18874176
If he can get to hooking it before it starts rotting and he's able to keep it at temperature and mold free then he's all good. His cuts will probably be all kinds of fucked but still delicious and perfectly safe to eat.

[Anonymous No.18874452]

>>18866973
>Where can I buy a whole cow to slaughter myself?
Friend of mine did this. He went to a farm, bought the calf (you eat calf, cows for milk). Farmer shot the calf. Friend gutted it and brought it home, finished up the butchering, bagging and freezing.

Note that my friend knew how to gut an animal from hunting. He also had the farmer helping him.

[Anonymous No.18874487]

>>18867865
>It's doesn't matter either way
You keep saying this. You are wrong. You don't understand suffering.

[Anonymous No.18874510]

>>18866973
"buy the flour, bake the bread"
you're going to pay more in time, tools, and wasted meat than you would save by butchering it yourself. if you actually want to save money on meat go snare rabbits and butcher them yourself instead

[Anonymous No.18874839]

>>18866973
I live in Montana so whatever Algorithm gives me adds for this shit https://montanaranchandcattle.com/collections/freezer-package you get a free freezer apparently. Available to addresses within Continental USA according to the site. Also it's pre butchered so that's neat? Idk.

[Anonymous No.18874884]

>>18874839
Bitch, type it out. Ain't no one clicking on your cousin fucking link.

[Anonymous No.18874896]

Also, anyone itt that claims butchering a cow by yourself is accomplishable, please post pics. Elk take several people and weigh half as much. Let this stupid bullshit die and quit being retards.

[Anonymous No.18874902]

>>18867033
>neet
>how hard could it be
If you are a neet with no fucking skills it is going to be extremely hard.

[Anonymous No.18874906]

>>18874896
Not to mention moose, you shoot them and then it's like now what? Fucking more of hassle to get them out of the field and dress them than it is to hunt them down

[Anonymous No.18874937]

>>18874510
Or just raise rabbits and feed them grass clippings.
I ate a squirrel once.
Also, how bad could turtle be if you stew it long enough?
But yeah, rabbit is probably the best choice for home butchery (possibly fish aside?).

[Anonymous No.18874946]

>>18874937
raise rabbits?
nah, you shoot them
you raise chickens

[Anonymous No.18875022]

>>18866973
What are these from?

[Anonymous No.18875044]

>>18874937
>how bad could turtle be if you stew it long enough?
Turtle has a rather fishy smell, it's why the chinese prepare turtle soup with medicinal herbs.

[Anonymous No.18875054]

>>18866973
what about buying a calf and raising it to a cow while feeding it healthy fatty foods for a majority of its life?

[Anonymous No.18875058]

>>18867033
>some fat ass weeb starts stabbing a cow in the backyard
i'd call the fucking cops on you

[Anonymous No.18875075]

>>18867033
where is the slaughtering of the cow going to be done?

[Anonymous No.18875146]

Surprised no one's posted this kino yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrOzwoMKzH4
If OP somehow managed to section the cow into four, then he could follow this video

[Anonymous No.18875250]

>>18874946
>raise rabbits?
>nah, you shoot them
Disagree.
>you raise chickens
Agree.

[Anonymous No.18875256]

>>18875044
Study American history.
Turtle soup was the "Big Mac" of the 18th century.

[Anonymous No.18875258]

>>18875022
Why do you ask?

[Anonymous No.18875291]

>>18875256
Ok? I don't get what point you're making? 18th century americans like the fishy taste as is?

[Anonymous No.18875398]

>>18869214
This is prime wagyu bait. Delicious.

[Anonymous No.18875595]

>>18875022
It's a character from Touhou.
They're unirnocially drawn by a Chinese tranny.

[Anonymous No.18876224]

>>18875291
If it was popular back then, maybe it's not so bad?

[Anonymous No.18876227]

>>18867033
do you have a work area, even a table, the size of a cow
that is the first question

[Anonymous No.18876229]

>>18867033
second question is where will you put your cow parts you'll need a couple regular size chest freezers for long term storage for an entire cow let alone a half cow

[Anonymous No.18876232]

>>18866973
>slaughter myself
Unfortunately, home slaughter is illegal in the vast majority of the US. You are required, by law, to take your animal to a registered slaughterhouse for the killing. You are allowed to butcher it yourself, but home slaughter is prohibited.

[Anonymous No.18876240]

>>18866973
after reading half this thread I'm going to say what you want to get anon is a half of a pig

[Anonymous No.18876243]

>>18875595
>unirnocially
uncirnoially you mean?

[Anonymous No.18876267]

>>18876243
no I just mispelled the word "unironically"

[Anonymous No.18876273]

>>18876232
Producers exemption anon. Inspection and regulation only apply when the meat is to be sold/distributed. As long as its your cow, on your land and it's solely for your own consumption it's perfectly legal to shoot a cow in your living room.

[Anonymous No.18876284]

>>18868223
This is known as "the butcher's privilege"

[Anonymous No.18876343]

>>18876267
oh the irony

[Anonymous No.18876526]

>>18874436
>If he can get to hooking it before it starts rotting
Where, in his five square meter bathroom?
>and he's able to keep it at temperature and mold free
I suppose if it's a really cold winter and he has a balcony.. but best hope for not a single above zero celsius day lmao

[Anonymous No.18876574]

>>18876343
Literally

[Anonymous No.18876739]

>>18867775
>can borrow a station wagon if I wanted to.
You're gonna need a truck retard.
IF you manage to fit the thing in the back of a wagon the suspension will be fucked and the interior even more so

[Anonymous No.18876747]

I'm pretty sure a butcher can do this for you and it still works out pretty cheap.

[Anonymous No.18876755]

If you got 2 full sized freezers then yeah it'll be cheaper and worth it but doubt you got the space for it

Also unless you got a forklift or something to lift the cow doubt you'll be able to butcher it soundly

[Anonymous No.18876990]

>>18876755
And a band saw.

[Anonymous No.18877184]

>>18869190
>raccoons
>Flint
those are just regular coons.

[Anonymous No.18877251]

>>18866973
Lmao what a retard. You're a parasite that not only doesn't care about the quality of life of the hypothetical animal he plans to consume, but doesn't even put any understanding in the tools or methods he would need not to waste the animal, all out of basic greed.
Hope to hear about another retard being kicked in the head by a cow and dying soon.

[Anonymous No.18877903]

Ignore the haters OP, if you pull this off you'll be king of /ck/ for the year.

[Anonymous No.18878819]

>>18877903
>you'll be king of /ck/ for the year
That and $1.75 will get him a cup of coffee.
And in case you haven't bothered to read the thread:
a) He's WAAAAYYYY to incompetent to "pull it off".
-and-
b) Most of the people here already think he's a total shitbag.

[Anonymous No.18878833]

>>18867431
I hope you're not actually using that old piece of shit. You're probably paying more for electric to store it then you paid for that cow

[Anonymous No.18878855]

>>18867033
>How hard could it be?
>I'm a NEET with enough time on my hands.
please don't get arrested for dragging animal carcasses into your house

[Anonymous No.18878879]

This thread has been absolutely astroturfed to the ground by Big Butcher.

[Anonymous No.18878903]

>>18867775
pretty good bait, op

[Anonymous No.18878941]

>>18874884
> Ain't no one clicking on your cousin fucking link.

I said I LIVE in Montana, not that I'm FROM Montana. Also https://montanaranchandcattle.com/collections/freezer-package

[Anonymous No.18878947]

>>18878941
GODDMANIT https://montanaranchandcattle.com /collections/freezer-package

[Anonymous No.18879118]

>>18878941
>I said I LIVE in Montana, not that I'm FROM Montana.
So... more likely you haven't fucked your cousin (*sister*)?

[Anonymous No.18879345]

>>18879118
We don't do that up north, that's a southern tradition.

[Anonymous No.18880101]

>>18878819
It's like you hate entertainment.

[Anonymous No.18880597]

>>18879345
>We don't do that up north
Nope, I'm like 99% certain you've fucked your sister.
At least hope she's hot.

[Anonymous No.18881075]

>>18876243
>off by 1
Cirno, get off the internet.