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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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18334373 No.18334373 [Reply] [Original]

Due to the poor economy and getting laid off, I’ve had to move back home with my family. Since they are morbidly obese and I tend to eat just straight protein and no carbs, I have taken to cooking in the bathroom with some of my camping equipment. I’m using a cast iron hot plate to make pork sausage and egg sloppa.

Anyone else make weird shit in the bathroom late at night? I’m going to melt gouda in the egg here in a minute.

>> No.18334377
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18334377

>>18334373
Eggs ready, gouda kinda ready. It was a bit moldy, so I cut that bit off.

>> No.18334388
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18334388

>>18334377
I actually killed the pig myself. We have a bit of a feral hog problem, their meat is rather inedible unless it’s in sausage form with some added fat from other animals. If you’re poor, I highly recommend just going out and shooting feral hogs for an easy supply of a lot of meat, but you are gonna need some fat. Just tell the guy to turn the thing into breakfast sausage. You need extra fat or your skillet is gonna be bone dry.

>> No.18334393
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18334393

>>18334388
Gouda ready now. I got this box cutter at Harbor Freight for a dollar.

>> No.18334396
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18334396

>>18334393
The secret is low heat. And heavy whipping cream, but I don’t have any.

>> No.18334404

What's wrong with the kitchen?

>> No.18334406
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18334406

>>18334396
This is some cheddar I got from the processor who chopped up my pigs. It’s pretty good, his uncle makes it. I grated it about a week ago from some leftovers, I made something or other. I’ll add that.

>> No.18334411
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18334411

>>18334404
It’s three in the morning and I had to move back in with my fat parents and I don’t wanna share my dinner. I haven’t eaten in over 24 hours.
>>18334406
Not gonna lie, it looks like shit. I guess that’s why the meme is the meme, amirite?

>> No.18334420
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18334420

>>18334411
I like a lot of pepper, but we are almost done.

>> No.18334425
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18334425

>>18334420
Not gonna lie, but the gouda kinda gets lost. Probably due to the pepper and “spicy” breakfast sausage. It’s not really spicy, but heavily seasoned.

>> No.18334433

>>18334425
The solution is always more cheese. What are your bathroom go-to, anon? I tried steak the other day, but it was a failure. The German potatoes were great, though.

>> No.18334435
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18334435

>>18334433
Oops.

>> No.18334446

>people live like this

>> No.18334448
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18334448

>>18334435
I’m breaking my cardinal rule of low heat for eggs to show off the grease from all the cheese and sausage. Dunno why, I guess I just think it’s funny. I’m the only one in my family not far, hilariously enough. That’s why I’m cooking in the bathroom.

>> No.18334452

lmao jesus fucking christ

>> No.18334455

What the fuck lmao

>> No.18334457
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18334457

>>18334448
Anyway, here we go. I’ll eat probably a third of this and the rest tomorrow. Sleep tight, /ck/.

>> No.18334462

We need more threads like this.

>> No.18334467

>>18334457
god bless your heart anon
consider going for a walk or a bike ride and doing this in a park though it would be far less depressing.

>> No.18334483
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18334483

>>18334467
What do you mean?

>> No.18334488

Will you eat this in the bathroom as well
You know there is a saying that you don't shit where you eat

>> No.18334491

>>18334488
he’s way ahead of you
>>18334483
8/10 sloppa, would eat

>> No.18334499 [DELETED] 

I fucking hate this place.

>> No.18334500
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18334500

>>18334488
>>18334491
No, I just posed for that one. Sorry to demystify things, but “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” and all that. I’m just eating at my desk like a normal person.

>> No.18334502

>>18334373
Why don't you just cook at your kitchen just like normal people do?

>> No.18334508

Are you in a hotel? looks as if you are,,,,

>> No.18334513

>>18334500
>straight protein no carbs
your in a fucking hotel bored off your ass making shit up

>> No.18334526
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18334526

if this is true you're a fucking autist and should just use the kitchen like a human being. If you have issues with this, then you need to address those before cooking in the bathroom. There's no way to honorably use a cast iron pan in the bathroom

>> No.18334541
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18334541

>>18334513
I’m not perfect, sue me. Sometimes I like to have tortillas, what of it? Some people eat candy, I eat tortillas. I also eat potatoes, here and there. Normally I eat nothing but protein, though. I drink sweet tea by the gallon, so it’s not like I’m a health nut. I just generally dislike carbs because I’m weird.
>>18334508
Why you asking? You got a warrant? You affiliated with any local or federal law enforcement agency of any sort based in the United States or its outlying territories? This is the rifle that killed the pigs, though. I don’t like the flash hider, I’m gonna swap it out for my old zenitco brake. Shame it’s hard to get this shit nowadays, what with the war and all that. I’m thinking about retiring it, I’ve used this rifle exclusively for about ten years and I’ve noticed the barrel starting to go.
>>18334526
It’s not a cast iron skillet, it’s just a regular skillet. It is a cast iron hot plate. Regardless, if I were an honorable man, I would’ve done battle with the feral hogs with a spear and shield or someshit, not from a couple hundred yards out with a Kalashnikov.

>> No.18334555

>>18334373
I think you are missing the sentence in the middle where you explain why your different diets resulted in you cooking in the bathroom

>> No.18334556

>>18334541
I guess it was a matter of time before /k/ made a thread on /ck/

>> No.18334563
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18334563

>>18334556
>556
Poetic

>> No.18334566

Oh yeah, of course, I always make food in the bathroom to hide from my fat family. That's totally normal.

>> No.18334573

>>18334541
your burrito looks fine and i would eat it, but it would be better with hot sauce or even beans, and I reiterate my statement that you should cook this in the kitchen because you're demeaning yourself. I say this as a fellow loser 32 year old living in their parent's basement.

>> No.18334574

>>18334566
all the AKfags are like this, go to /k/ sometime and you’ll see. anon is probably more normal than most of them

>> No.18334578

>>18334373
>literally eating where you shit
You're not aware of shit particles?

>> No.18334778

>>18334373
Why didn't you make it in your bedroom instead

>> No.18334799

imagine your loser son moving back home and finding him at 3am, dead from carbon monoxide poisoning, in the guest bathroom with a coleman stove, face down in a plate of sloppa, wearing only an oversized tshirt with no pants or underwear on.

>> No.18334807

>>18334502
He doesn't want to share his food with his parents who let him move back. Some families are fucked up.

>> No.18334837

>>18334373
>I tend to eat just straight protein
not shocked you partake in oral copulation for spending money

>> No.18334847
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18334847

>>18334373
wait, what's wrong with cooking in your family kitchen?

>> No.18334849

>>18334411
why would you have to share your dinner? Its 3am, wouldn't they have eaten? Or are they really the bottomless sorts of fat fucks?

>> No.18334855

what's OP going to do when he hears one of their pig noses snuffling outside and then the squealing starts and they start breaking down the door

>> No.18334859
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18334859

>>18334411
Sensational get. I salute you and your culinary bathroom endeavors

>> No.18334860

>>18334373
>Due to the poor economy and getting laid off
>zero personal responsibility
>sent from my iPhone

>> No.18334862

>>18334500
is that a fucking paper plate you goddamn subhuman

>> No.18334870

>>18334837
Fun fact: semen is mostly carbohydrates.

>> No.18334872

>>18334556
>>18334563
Kek

>> No.18334881

>>18334556
people from k always make threads on ck we just aren't usually mentally ill

>> No.18334891

>>18334388
>We have a bit of a feral hog problem, their meat is rather inedible unless it’s in sausage form with some
I’m not familiar with cooking their meat but are parasites not a worry?

>> No.18334961

>>18334373
I'm sorry your family sucks but you're 100% gonna start a fire
Bathroom wiring is crap

>> No.18334984

Are your (presumably 50-60+ year old) fat parents still awake at 3AM? Are they such slobs that the smell of food in their kitchen will wake them up and send them running for it? What if they want to go to the bathroom and hear you cooking in there? Forget the sloppa, I hunger for answers.

>> No.18334990
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18334990

>>18334881
>usually
I mean, cu/ck/s are usually pitiful enough without outside help, but you /k/lans folk are another level

>> No.18335000

>>18334373
this is a strange thread and I don't understand why you wouldn't just cook in your kitchen. However now I have an urge to cook things where I'm not supposed to.

>> No.18335051

OP sounds like a faggot raised by faggots and should probably kill himself

>> No.18335055

>>18334961
maybe that's how chris chan burned down his house

>> No.18335072

>>18334373
Dis nigga literally prepares his food next to the shitter

>> No.18335161

>>18334457
>carbs

>> No.18335165

>>18335072
That's just highly efficient

>> No.18335168

>>18334404
His family gives him shit for not eating slop

>> No.18335545

>>18334556
Do you only browse 1 board you fucking autist?

>> No.18335552

>>18334513
you're

>> No.18335576

I do make weird shit in my bathroom late at night but not with a pan

>> No.18335606

>>18334881
speak for yourself, i am most definitely mentally ill

>> No.18335667

>>18334483
>pukes in mouth
BRAVO

>> No.18335676

>>18334373
the heat of the egg melts the gouda

>> No.18335696

>Anon, why does the bathroom smell like a breakfast burrito.

>> No.18335703

>>18334373
>>18334373
Something about mincemeat near a toilet really makes me puke

>> No.18335709
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18335709

>>18334373
Jez??

>> No.18335718

>>18334411
I have so many questions.
Why are you up at 3AM? Why didn't you eat something earlier?
Why would you have to share food with your parents at 3AM? Are they also up?
If so, do they not know you are in the bathroom? How could they not know?
If they are asleep, why not just use the kitchen? What if they wake up cause they have to use the bathroom, you know, for something other than cooking?

Just what the fuck is going on in your crazy ass household?

>> No.18335727

>>18335576
Im sure we all had a McDonalds cheeseburger at 3am in the shower, but yeah, the cooking part of it is silly.

>> No.18335765

>family allow you to live with them
>only cook for yourself
No wonder you're almost homeless, you're a pretty shitty human being.

>> No.18335774

>>18335765
Also makes the bathroom stink of hog sausage and egg, thats a nightmare to walk in at the morning to take a piss. If he was smart he would use the basement.

>> No.18335778

>>18334373
that's fucking disgusting bro

>> No.18335785

>obese
>cooks in bathroom
>"food" is just pure grease slop

disgusting

>> No.18335791

>>18335774
Just open the window?

>> No.18336155

>>18335718
I'm sure the answers he makes up about this fake scenario will be very interesting.

>> No.18336206

Why are gun nuts always poor

>> No.18336264

why is everyone believing his story

>> No.18336273

>>18334500
Why can’t you cook in the kitchen? How does your parents being fat stop you from that?

>> No.18336288

>>18334541
>>18334483
Burt?

>> No.18336295

>>18334388
>We have a bit of a feral hog problem, their meat is rather inedible unless it’s in sausage form with some added fat from other animals.
Same, the food bank here pays $5 a head and would and slaughters them up and gives them out but the poor people started complaining and honestly i understand their pain, i had to eat that shit when i was young and it tasted like it wa marinated in a homeless mans ball sack so gamy.

>> No.18336306
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18336306

>>18336264
Ye best start believin' in shit posts, anon.

>> No.18336337
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18336337

>>18335791
Every bathroom I've been in for the past however many years has had one of those fans like you have over the stove but smaller.

>> No.18336340

>>18336337
Personally, I hate bathrooms like that. I enjoy having natural light when I take a shit

>> No.18336346
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18336346

>>18336340
Why not both?

>> No.18336355

>>18336346
Are you sure thats a fan and not just a light? I have never seen a bathroom with a fan AND windows.
Over here you get the fan if you cant have windows in your bathroom

>> No.18336363

>>18336355
Nvm. I just read the filename
I think thats pretty cool albeit a bit redundant

>> No.18336364

>>18336355
My bathroom has both a fan and a window. You turn on the fan to get the steam out, that's all it's used for.

>> No.18336367

>>18336363
Cuts down on mold/mildew/all that nasty shit.

>> No.18336378

>>18336364
>>18336367
See I just open the window for a few minutes but the fan is probably nicer for the colder seasons

>> No.18336391

>>18336337
in my state law requires there to either be a window or vent fan

>> No.18336415

>>18334373
What compelled you to cook where you shit instead of where you sleep?

>> No.18336520

>>18335765
from the other thread:
>they throw a fit when he cooks for himself and make fun of him for not being obese like they are
>this is a last ditch desperation move to maintain some semblance of not eating pure dogshit
but he failed, and is eating sloppa anyway :)

>> No.18336526 [DELETED] 

>>18336520
>oh no daddy is making fun of me again better start cooking in the bathroom
White men were a mistake. At least he has his guns to prove he's a real man

>> No.18336553

>>18336526
yeah, whitey really is dumb

>> No.18336573

>>18335545
I do. There's only one good board.

>> No.18336591

>>18335545
almost /ck/ exclusively but i will lurk /pol/ if there's a habbining or /b/ if there's a fappening

>> No.18336596

>>18334578
Sharticles

>> No.18337555

I really appreciate the dedication to the bit my man.

>> No.18337963

>>18334373
Imagine cooking with a fucking D&D DM screen guard lol

>> No.18339119

>>18336206
You really can't reason out for yourself why a poor person would have a greater need for self defense?

>> No.18339126

>>18337555
based trips of bait appreciation